A Guide

Look Alive Out There

BOLThe Advisory Group

Ξ

Any Resemblance to Actual

Persons, Policies, Or Politics,

Living or Dead, is Purely Coincidental

1. Work

2. Work

3. More work

4. Work on weekends

5. Money

6. Sleep

Agenda/Topics To Be Covered

• The founders were sick of being exploited by their old employer, so they broke off and started their own company…however, they do

everything in their power to prevent their current employees from doing the same thing

• Nobody was really inspired by some esoteric ideals, they were just tired of not having as much money as they wanted

History of Company

• Joseph Belini – The wealthy owner, sometimes he’s really cool and other times he’s a complete asshole

• Martino Sanchez – He’s the guy who actually does everything and despite all that still gets mistreated by the company

• Bob Johnson – The devil incarnate, hired by Joseph into the company as a favor to Bob’s uncle, even though Bob is utterly incompetent

• Michelle Parker – Heart of the company, constantly has to turn down the advances of obnoxious male customers and Bob Johnson

Who’s Who

• Do what you are told and act like you are permanently satisfied with being nothing more than a cog in the machine

• Go against the grain & expect a termination notice within a few weeks

• Avoid dating coworkers, unless you are one of the management’s favorites in which case there is a huge double standard

• Dress appropriately, and realize Casual Friday is a subtle test

Company Policies

• Benefit Of Social Status

• Benefit Of Not Being Unemployed

• Benefit Of The Doubt

• Platinum insurance for bosses, cheap one for the workers

• 2 weeks nominal vacation time per year, 2 days real time off

• Sugary snacks in the kitchen

Benefits

We got rid of them to cut costs

Performance Reviews

Please contact the Department Of Indoctrination

Fill out the usual government documents

The currency here is respect

Required Paperwork

Have a great day!

Summary