lori leblanc5253 dijon dr., ste. d, baton rouge 70808 self-assessment inventory lsu agricultural...

Lori LeBlanc 5253 Dijon Dr., Ste. D,Baton Rouge 70808

Self-Assessment Inventory

LSU

Agricultural CenterNovember 9, 2007

Lori LeBlanc, LPC, LMFT 5253 Dijon Dr. Suite D Baton Rouge, LA 70808 (225)768-8120

Being Okay Just Isn’t Enough!

• Are you a Faultfinding or Critical Person?

• How Jealous and Competitive Are You?

• How Controlling Are You?

• Is Your Thinking Positive or Negative?

• Past, Present or Future Focused?

Lori LeBlanc, LPC, LMFT 5253 Dijon Dr. Suite D, Baton Rouge, LA 70808 (225)768-8120

What’s Your Performance Style ?Take this quiz to become more aware of your own on-the-job style by using the key below:


Tally the total number of points and compare with

the following key. ___________

1. Not Like Me2. Only Slightly Like Me3. Somewhat Like Me4. Very Much Like Me

1. ___ It bothers me when requests are made of me at work.2. ___ I prefer to work my own way to get the job accomplished, even if it takes longer.3. ___ I’d rather keep my feelings to myself.4. ___ I’m comfortable with my job duties and don’t look to increase them.5. ___ Most people seem to tolerate conflict better than I do.6. ___ Criticism bothers me.7. ___ When asked to do things I dislike, it’s not a big deal because the request may be forgotten.8. ___ Appearing successful is what counts.9. ___ I wish I could change things but can live with the way things are.10. ___I shouldn’t make my frustration or anger obvious.11. ___Talking things over creates more problems than solutions.12. ___I’m skeptical of new assignments and plans unless I had a hand in creating them.13. ___I’ve felt the same concerns/disappointments before in similar situations.14. ___If I know I’ll be getting feedback I might not like, I’d rather be absent that day.15. ___I can do the job better if allowed to do it myself.16. ___People at work are not to be trusted.17. ___I feel pretty good knowing things that others don’t and having an advantage over them.18. ___When I disagree, sarcasm works better than being direct.19. ___I wish I felt more confident about my skills, my talents, myself.20. ___It’s tough to tell others about my decisions most of the time.21. ___When something requires quick action, I feel uneasy and pressured.22. ___When new supervisors are hired, I feel extra cautious.23. ___If someone isn’t doing his job right, I’ll keep quiet; let them find out the hard way.24. ___If I make a mistake, I definitely do not want to discuss it with my supervisor.25. ___I’m uncomfortable when someone talks to me about how to do my job better.

Your Performance Score

• A score of 25 - 43: Your style is fairly direct and open to self-expression, adaptability, and new challenges. It’s unlikely that you hide much, and are not afraid to deal productively with problems.

• A score of 44 – 62: Your style is somewhat direct, but in some cases, you might shy away from or feel uncomfortable with confrontation. Be aware of this because remaining open and willing to adapt yields great things.


Your Performance Score continued:

• A score of 63 – 81: Your style is indirect. Confrontation makes you uneasy. If this sounds like you, it might be wise to talk this over with someone you trust and who can offer you honest feedback.

• A score of 82 – 100: Your style is pretty much indirect. While it may work for you, it’s likely that you’ve hidden some frustrations along the way because you sidestep people, situations, even challenges that might actually benefit you. Be open to assistance to boost your assertiveness and self-confidence.


Say the Right Words at the Right Time

• The wrong words said at the wrong time…

DISCOURAGE• The wrong words said at the right time…

FRUSTRATE• The right words said at the wrong time…

CONFUSE• The right words said at the right time…

ENCOURAGE


When it is time to speak andsay the right things at the right time…

• Be sensitive to Time and Place

• Say it From the Heart

• Recognize the

Power of the Right Words at the Right Time


Keep These Thoughts in Mind:

Changing a Life One Person at a Time

Change someone’s day --- or maybe even his entire life --- by saying the right words at the right time, from the heart.


Listen with Your Heart

• Focus on the Person

• Unclog Your Ears

• Listen Aggressively

• Listen to Understand


Focus on the Person:

• Avoid being preoccupied

• Avoid preparing your answers while the other person is still talking

• Avoid jumping in when they take a breath

Truly listening is exhausting!


Focus on the Person

• Herb Cohen, often called the world’s best negotiator, says, “Effective listening requires more than hearing the words transmitted. It demands that you find meaning and understanding in what is being said. After all, meanings are not in words, but in people.”


Unclog Your Ears

• Distractions – Phone calls, pagers, PDAs make good listening nearly impossible.

• Defensiveness – If you view complaints or criticism as a personal attack, you become defensive.

• Closed-mindedness – When you think you have all the answers, you close your mind.


Also Avoid:

• Projection – Automatically attributing your own thoughts and feelings to others prevents you from perceiving how they feel.

• Assumptions – When you jump to conclusions, you take away your own incentive to listen.

• Pride – Thinking we have little to learn from others is, perhaps, the most deadly of distractions to listening. Being full of yourself leaves little room for input from others.


Listen aggressively:

• Exhibit genuine understanding

• Avoid “play listening”

• Stay in the here and now

• Focus on the other person’s point of view


Ask yourself:

How can I better understand what this person is feeling and thinking?

Remember: The best way to persuade is with your ears.


Appreciate theGood Intentions of Others

To err is human;

to forgive is not company policy.---UNKNOWN


Optimizing Beliefs inGood Intentions

• Believe the Best About People

• See Things from Their Perspective

• Give People the Benefit of the Doubt

• Remember Their Good Days, Not Their Bad Ones


Forgiveness is not an occasional act,

It is a permanent attitude.

---Martin Luther King, Jr.


Practice the Golden Rule :

By appreciating what others intend,

not only by what they do—

just as you would like for them

to do with you.


Types of Hidden Anger at Work

• Backstabber• Avenger• Controller• Cynic• Eeyore• Blamer• Mute• Star


Tim Murphy, Ph.D Loriann Hoff Oberlin

Things a Leader Must Do:

• Listen to what bugs you

• Don’t let negative things just sit there

• Listen to your symptoms

• Do not allow negative things to take up space in your brain or life

Get rid of Negative Energy

Make Room for the Good Stuff


Words of Wisdom:

“A gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself”

---William King


Remember:

If I fail to believe the best in others, I will receive what I expect ---

The Worst!


References:

Maxwell, J.C., and Parrott, L. (2005) 25 Ways to Win with People. Nelson Business.

Brinkman, R. and Kirschner, R. (2006) Dealing with Difficult People: 24 Lessons for Bringing Out the Best in Everyone. McGraw-Hill.

Cloud, Henry. (2006) 9 Things a Leader Must Do. Thomas Nelson Murphy, T. and Hoff-Oberlin, Loriann. (2005) Overcoming Passive-

Aggression, How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness. Marlowe & Company of New York

Helmering, D. W. (1996) Being Okay Just Isn’t Enough. National Press Publications

Sutton, R.I., (2007) The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t. Warner Business Books.

Maxwell. J.C. (2006) The Difference Maker: Making Your Attitude Your Greatest Asset

Johnson, R.R. (2006) Assertive Management: The Key to Effective Leadership. Wolfgang Press


lori leblanc5253 dijon dr., ste. d, baton rouge 70808 self-assessment inventory lsu agricultural...

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