Love Affair with Mary

A love that brings you to the secret of life.

By Janae Bower

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@Copyright 2013 Janae Bower, MA, of Finding IT. This is the draft manuscript that was written in 50

days (May 1, 2013 – June 19, 2013). As a result, the author has not yet obtained official permission from

any of the people, pictures or resources cited in this work. The manuscript has not been proofed or

edited.

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Dedication

To you, Mary, our Blessed Mother.

You were the inspiration for the book.

I trust you’ll use it to inspire others.

“To know that God loves you and Mary Mother loves you –

that love is the greatest gift of our lives.”

- Immaculee Ilibagiza

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Praise for Love Affair with Mary

“Mary is the most famous woman in history. She leads all prominent women who have earned their

fame by living a life of virtue. She has inspired more art and music than any other woman in history, and

even in the modern age, she fascinates the imagination of men and women of all faiths. This book will

fascinate and inspire you to grow closer to Mary.”

- Matthew Kelly, bestselling author of Rediscover Catholicism and Founder of Dynamic Catholic

"Janae Bower's zeal and love for our Blessed Mother is palpable in her book Love Affair with Mary. After

reading her book, you can't help but want to love Mary more yourself... and loving Mary more will help

you love Jesus more... and loving Jesus more will inspire you to become the saint God created you to

be."

- John R. Wood, author of Ordinary Lives, Extraordinary Mission

“Janae Bower is passionate and empowering. Love Affair with Mary is a must read whether you are

turning 40 or 80. As a life-long Catholic who grew up praying the rosary, I had never heard of some

things she shared in this book and am excited to learn more. Janae's heartfelt stories and life

experiences resonate with women from all walks of life. Her writing can help to deepen one's prayer life

and spiritual journey.”

- Lucy Johnson, President of the Archdiocesan Council of Catholic Women, Archdiocese of Saint

Paul and Minneapolis

“To know that God loves you and Mary Mother loves you – that love is the greatest gift of our lives. This

book is a true gift for helping you fall deeper in love with both.”

- Immaculee Ilibagiza, bestselling author of Left to Tell

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Foreword by Immaculee Ilibagiza

A month before I first met Janae at one of my retreats she realized that she was writing a book about

her love for God called Love Affair with God. A month before the next time we would meet up again

two years later at a private retreat I personally invited her to, she realized she was writing another book.

This book, Love Affair with Mary, is about her love of Our Lady.

She arrived to our Grace Group retreat with her manuscript in hand, taking only 50 days from inception

to completion. I couldn’t be happier to support her work, one that so beautifully shares how much Our

Blessed Mother loves us and how much we can love Our Blessed Mother.

Mother Mary is completely love and mercy, created just for us. She finds the fruits in us and pleads for

our needs. You’ll discover as Janae did the many fruits available to you through our Holy Mother. The

fact that this book is published is a fruit from Her listening to us pleading our needs.

You’ll read how Janae brought the manuscript for her forthcoming book Love Affair with God on a

pilgrimage to the only Catholic Church approved apparition site in the United States and asked Mary to

intercede for its publication.

I am forever grateful for the heavenly forces interceding for the publication of my first book Left to Tell. I

am indebted to how Wayne Dyer believed in me and my story. So much so that he not only insisted that

his publisher Hay House publish my first book, he was personally committed to helping me endorse it as

well.

I feel the same about Janae Bower. She reminds me of myself many years ago when God called me to

write my manuscript Left to Tell with no obvious means of getting it published. With only unwavering

faith in this mission, God lead me to Wayne Dyer. Janae says the same about God leading her to me.

Janae’s two books Love Affair with God and Love Affair with Mary are crazy good and will help you

elevate your love and take your faith to the next level. Through this book, Mary used Janae’s story as an

instrument of love to inspire your own love story with her. You’ll be able to look back at your life

knowing you’ve been blessed by Our Lady’s loving guidance in your life.

Getting closer to Mary’s pure immaculate heart helps us love Our Lord more and love more like the

Lord. You’ll see how Janae does this and has a gift for getting to the heart of the matter helping us to

focus on what really matters.

I’ve been blessed to travel all around the world to the most sacred sites that Mary has appeared and

personally interview many of the visionaries who have spoken directly with Mary. This book shows all of

us how to have a sacred relationship with Mary in your own heart and home.

One thing that the visionaries’ share is that Mary is so loving. God wants us to ask for our desires and

Mary is here to love us and help us fulfill those desires.

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When I survived the Rwandan genocide I had nothing. I had to ask in faith Our Lady for everything –

shoes, clothes, a bed to sleep on. She provided for all my needs then and continues to provide for my

hearts desires as I share the story of my faith around the world. She wants to do the same for you to and

will speak on your behalf!

Janae shared with me that her heart’s desire is to share with you her love for God and Mary in hopes

that you will experience the same heavenly love now in your life. Because as you fall in love with Our

Lady, she’ll bring you to the greatest love of our lives, Our Lord.

Fulton Sheen is his book The World’s First Love: Mary Mother of God shares how Mary is the key to

opening the greatest treasure of our lives – Jesus. I cherish the book in your hands as it’s a treasure for

all of you who want to unlock this key to life. The more you love Mary, who is never separated from her

Son, the more you’ll love Jesus.

Janae touched my heart through this story and I know that Mary will touch your heart as you read this.

Our Lady loves you so much and can’t wait to show you just how much. Mary said that heaven is the

feeling of falling in love multiplied by a million! When you learn how to fall in love with Mary, you’ll get

a glimpse of what this heavenly love feels like.

Be inspired by Janae’s love story and be ready for yours to ignite. This book is a message of love and

Janae – like you – is a messenger of love. She helps all of us see how to have a special devotion for and

grow in love with Our Blessed Mother. When we know we are loved, we can give “the world” this love.

Our Lady loves you and is waiting for you to really receive and be this message of love in your world.

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Note from Author

I had no idea I was writing this book. I had decided that the month of May, also referred to as the month

of Mary, would be a good month to work on my book Love Affair with God and write about my Marian

consecration experience I had six months ago. So I mapped out the five Wednesdays of the month,

starting on May 1st, to be my writing Wednesdays.

Archbishop John C. Nienstedt shares how the month of May is a wonderful time to focus on the life of

Mary and on her response to God’s plan for her life because she is a true model of holiness for us all. He

has fond memories since his youth of honoring Mary during the month of May. Archbishop Nienstedt

explains in a recent column in the Catholic Spirit that as Catholics “we understand that devotion to her

necessarily leads to worship of him. Therefore to know her is to know him. To love him is to love her.

This knowledge, this love is not abstract, but deeply personal.”

To prepare for my first writing on May Day, I went to adoration, prayed the rosary and fasted. I received

the guidance that I should start writing about my consecration and I prayed that Mary would guide my

writing. When I actually started to write and let Mary take over the keyboard and just be the vessel, it

was turning to something more. Toward the end of this first day I typed the words Love Affair with

Mary. I stopped typing and looked at the words I had just typed. Tears filled my eyes as I knew that I had

already written the book about my Love Affair with God. Was this meant to be another book?

After that I took a writing break for my 3 o’clock devotion to the Lord and here’s what flowed next.

I’ll be signing off for now because it’s the 3 o’clock hour and time for me to let Jesus know how I thirst

and love him. I’ll be back whenever I’m led next to keep on sharing my love of Mary.

Now I’m back with tears streaming down my face (only 15 minutes later). I left to do my routine with

my 3 o’clock prayer time. First, I read the book Aimée Petra got me called Mary Day by Day. This is the

book she received from her mother, Mary Petra; a book her mother prayed with for 20 years. So I’ve

been reading the devotion each day at 3 o’clock along with doing the chaplet of divine mercy.

As I went into today’s prayer time I just finished writing about the idea of a Love Affair with Mary, which

feels like more of a book idea than a reflection on my consecration. Then today’s devotion from Mary

Day by Day spoke so clearly and so directly to me at this time in my life that I’ve got to share it.

May 1st

She is the reflection of eternal light, the spotless mirror of the active power of God, and the image of his

goodness. – Wisdom 7:28

This verse just popped out at me. First of all, the book of Wisdom is only in Catholic Bibles as its one of

the 73 books in our Bibles compared to the 66 books of the Bible that other religions have. And Mary is

especially revered in our Catholic faith for the role significant she has in our lives.

Before adoration this morning I was just listening to Chip Ingram, who has an international Bible

teaching ministry called Living on The Edge that helps Christians live like Christians. He shared the idea

of being mini mirrors to each other. He encourages us that we need to reflect to others the beauty that

we see in them so that we too can see it in ourselves. I love this concept and try to do it as often as

possible!

The verse from Wisdom also talks about light and being a light for the Lord is a huge focus for me. An

affirmation I created for myself and say multiple times each day is: “I am a beacon of God’s love shining

the way; brightening, enlightening and igniting those on the path of personal transformation.”

I see Mary like Jesus being an eternal light for us and we can be that earthly light to others. I want to be

the light that people see God in me shining through. Plus the prayer that I say daily from Mother Teresa

around light is so much of letting Jesus’ light shine through us.

Then the Reflection from St. John Vianney in the Mary Day by Day book made me literally shake awake

as if this message was written just for me to finally realize. It goes, “Before her birth, the Prophets

proclaimed the glory of Mary. They compared her to the sun. Indeed appearances of the Blessed Virgin

can be compared to a beautiful ray of sunshine on a cloudy afternoon.”

I’ve been capturing special sun moments through photographs the

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past couple of years. Every time I take a picture of the sun I feel the

light of the Son. This is the first time I’ve read about Mary being

compared to the sun and how she’s a beautiful ray of sunshine when

she appears to us. It just made me realize that all my sun experiences

were also of Mary too not just of the Son. When talking about our

new holy mission (which you’ll read about), Aimée shared that we are

rays of Mary’s eternal love and light going to others. Of course the day

that I’m writing this is cloudy afternoon.

The last part of the devotion in the book, is the prayer “O Mary, you are the Sunshine of our lives. Let

your rays of grace shine into my heart and cast out the darkness of sin and despair. Let me hope always

in you.”

Isn’t this so beautiful? It speaks so personally and profoundly to me with my holy experiences I’ve been

having. This is what I’ve experienced from loving Mary and this is what I want others to experience.

To feel Mary’s love is to feel the sun’s powerful rays deep inside your soul; to let her enkindle you and

light your inner flame, the deep internal desires of your heart. So that together we can all be aflame

with the love of Lord setting hearts ablaze with a wildfire of love.

After this first day of writing I knew Mary was connecting to me deeply, but I wondered if I was really

supposed to be writing a book about it. I kept this prayer intention for the month and just kept writing.

A few weeks later I received confirmation. On my date with my oldest son, Gavin, a book found me that

said it word for word. I “randomly” picked up the book from a library shelf entitled Looking for Mary by

Beverly Donofrio. The first sentence inside the jacket cover read “When Beverly Donofrio enters her

fortieth year, she begins a love affair with the Virgin Mary.” I’m 40 and I had typed these same words.

My prayer was answered. This lady wrote a book about it and I knew I was supposed too.

Saying YES to Mary will always surprise you, like writing this book did for me. She must want me to get a

personal message out to you. The message in this book is just my personal and authentic journey of

loving Mary. This is a real example of taking this infinite, intangible spiritual being into our lives that we

can’t see (a few select people have seen her in apparitions) into what it looks like to have this tangible

and attainable relationship with her.

This is my story, the way that I fell in love with Mary or what Donofrio says how Mary “sneaks into your

heart.” I’m giving you that sneak peak of how she found my heart and found a way for me to share it

with you.

I pray that you’ll keep an open heart as you read this and open your heart to receive her love.

With the love of Mary,

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Sections

Drawing me in………………………….……..…11-37

Setting me apart………………………….…..….38-63

Sending me forth ………………………………..64-76

“Mary is the most famous woman in history. She

leads all prominent women who have earned their

fame by living a life of virtue. She has inspired more

art and music than any other woman in history, and

even in the modern age, she fascinates the

imagination of men and women of all faiths. In our

own age, Mary has appeared on the cover of Time

magazine more often than any other person.”

- Matthew Kelly, Rediscover Catholicism

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Drawing me in

The rosary, the formal prayer to Mary

Rosary and our family

Rosary, my marriage and Mary, Undoer of Knots

Informal prayers to Mary

The rosary walk

Three pilgrimages to see Mary

Personal dedication to Mary

“By her complete adherence to the

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Father’s will, his Son’s redemptive

work, and to every prompting of the

Spirit, the Virgin Mary is the Church’s

model of faith and charity. Thus she is

a “preeminent and …wholly unique

member of the Church”; indeed, she is

the “exemplary realization” (typus) of

the Church.”

- Catechism of the Catholic Church 967

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The rosary, the formal prayer to Mary

“This rosary saved my life and you too have the same power in your hands.”

This advice from Immaculee Ilibagiza, who was speaking at my alma mater

The University of St. Thomas five years ago, went straight to my heart and

soul. Immaculee is one of the few Rwandan genocide survivors and speaks

across the country sharing her story of love and forgiveness. This was the first

time I heard her speak in person and was inspired to pick up again an ancient

treasure of our Catholic faith, the rosary. Maybe the rosary hasn’t saved my

life, but it sure has changed it.

Matthew Kelly in his book Rediscover Catholicism talks about how we as Christians and Catholics have

abandoned the rosary. One reason he speculates, which I must admit is something I was thinking until I

met Immaculee, is that it’s considered a prayer of “overly pious old woman with little education and

time on her hands.” He rebukes this stereotype and shares how it’s a rich practice of prayer that has

real power in it.

According to Kelly he knows of few practices that will help in acquiring the calmness of mind, heart and

spirit like the rosary will. “And by learning to direct your thoughts toward God, you will learn to direct

your life toward God.”

With Immaculee’s rosary CD’s in hand, I committed to relearning how to pray the rosary. Her CD’s

shared stories of how the rosary has answered some powerful prayers in her life and I was determined

to learn how to do the same for my life. First I needed to understand how the rosary worked again. I

remember doing this as a family here and there, but it wasn’t a religious tradition that carried with me

as an adult. So it was like I was starting from scratch again. I just let Immaculee lead me and I silently

followed along. Soon I joined her in the prayers and after a while I was comfortable with saying at least

the joyful mysteries on my own.

“Rosary is a circular string of beads that looks something like a jewel necklace with a cross dangling off a

little tail at the end. Rosaries are divided into five decades (or sets of ten Hail Marys), separated by a

single bead on which is said an Our Father and Glory Be.” – Beverly Donofrio

For those of you like me who might need a brief refresher on the rosary, here you go. Each bead on the

rosary is a prayer, with each prayer having special meaning. As you say the prayer, you touch a bead on

the rosary and say that prayer. Most of the prayers are the Hail Mary, which is a prayer that we pray

directly to Mary.

There are five mysteries prayed for each rosary, which describe the events in the life of Jesus.

Depending on the season or day, you can reflect on these different mysteries. What’s special about the

mysteries is that we are reflecting on the life of Jesus. We are reflecting on Jesus’ life through the eyes

of his mother, the one person on Earth who knew him most intimately.

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According to Kelly, the power of rosary when we enter into it fully is powerful because no one can see

the life of Jesus better than his mother. Mothers have a unique God-given gift to see their children in a

way no one else can.

We can say the Joyful, Glorious, Sorrowful and the Luminous (light) mysteries. Each one gives us a

different perspective for our lives as we reflect on His life and it’s suggested to be said on different days.

Mary lived with her eyes fixed on Christ, treasuring his every word: “She helps all these things, pondering

them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

Among creatures no one knows Christ better than Mary; no one can introduce us to a profound

knowledge of his mystery than his Mother. The memories of Jesus were impressed upon her heart, were

always with her, leading her to reflect on the various moments of her life at her son’s side. In a way

those memories were to be the “rosary” which she recited uninterruptedly throughout her earthly life.

When in the rosary we plead with Mary, she intercedes for us before the Father who filled her with grace

and before the Son bon of her womb, praying with us and for us.” – Blessed John Paul II excerpts from his

Apostolic Letter “Rosarium Viginis Mariae”

I first spent months learning the joyful mysteries and prayed this every day until I learned it by heart,

then I went on to learn one of the other four mysteries.

For example, the five mysteries included in the Joyful mystery are:

1. The Annunciation. This is when the angel Gabriel told Mary that it was God’s plan for her to give

birth to his son. Her “yes” made it possible for all of us to be in heaven someday. She

responded with “Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your

word.” – Luke 1:38

When I pray this not only do I reflect on what this meant to Mary and Jesus, but what in my life

do I need to say yes to God. What in my life is God trying to conceive in which I need to give

birth to? What will change in my life as the Holy Spirit fills me?

2. The Visitation. Mary went to visit her older cousin Elizabeth who also was with child. When

Elizabeth sees her and her infant leaps in her womb she is filled with the Holy Spirit and says

“Most blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” Luke 1:41-42

This is when Mary responds with her prayer known as the Magnificant in which she gives glory

to the Lord. The prayer begins with: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit

rejoices in God my savior.”

I think of how Mary, despite being pregnant herself, went to serve and be with her cousin. Who

in my life do I need to visit and serve? How can I visit with the Lord more? How might I share my

faith to others? How can I give God my gratitude?

3. The Birth of Jesus. “…and she gave birth to her firstborn son.” Luke 2:7. This is probably one of

the stories we know the best in the life of Jesus and one in which we should be most grateful.

When I ponder his birth, I give thanks for giving birth to three sons myself and for my mother

doing the same for me. Other things I ponder: What am I giving birth to in my life spiritually?

How can I share the joys of what I’ve given birth to for others?

4. The Presentation of the Child Jesus in the Temple. Soon after Jesus was born they needed to

take him to the temple to present Him to God. Luke 2:23 says how “Every male that opens the

womb shall be consecrated to the Lord.” The Holy Spirit revealed to Simeon, the priest who was

consecrating Him that He was the savior of the world.

Reflecting on the presentation makes me think about what is the prophecy that God has given

for my life and my son’s lives? How can I be obedient to that? In what ways might I need to

present myself in a way that the Lord would be pleased?

5. Finding Jesus in the Temple. When Jesus was 12 he was lost. After three days of searching for

him, Mary and Joseph found him in the temple (Luke 2:46). They found him in His father’s

temple teaching the teachers.

When I am lost do I go to my heavenly father’s temple? This is one way I contemplate this

mystery. I pray that my boys and others will go to God when they are lost. Given the spiritual

gift of teaching, I pray for extra blessings for what God is trying to teach me in my life so that I

can teach others these lessons as well.

After praying the rosary for a while and getting more comfortable with it,

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then I learned that you can also attach a specific prayer intention while

praying it. That was then when I attached the intention for the publication

of my You’re IT Tribute Book.

(http://www.janaebower.com/store/storybook/)

The book publishing industry is incredibly difficult for unknown authors like

myself and I didn’t even know where to begin with how to get this

commemorative keepsake book published. So I used the rosary to pray for the publication. When

Immaculee shared that her father prayed for years for her to get into a specific school (and it worked), I

figured I would try to pray for the publication of my book as it’s designed to let people know how much

their lives matter.

Weeks after praying for this intention I met a colleague who was willing to connect me to his daughter

who was at Random House, one of the largest New York publishers. I couldn’t believe it! Wow, the

power of this rosary is incredible, I thought. My daily rosary prayers continued when she agreed to

show my book to her team, who worked for a specific division of the company.

http://www.janaebower.com/store/storybook/

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While I didn’t get the result that I wanted – publication of my book – I did get the reassurance from

them that my book was a great product (just not the right fit for them) and from Mary that saying the

rosary was a good new habit that I was forming.

The experience of praying it daily for a month was enough to help me learn it and make this a habit.

While I don’t always pray it on a daily basis, I do whenever I feel inspired or called to pray it. Sometimes I

even pray it more than once a day. While hiding out in a bathroom for nearly 90 days with other women

in fear of their lives, Immaculee would often say the rosary up to 27 times a day!

I didn’t know until I read Looking for Mary, a memoir of her spiritual journey to find Mary’s love by

Beverly Donoforio that the original intention of the rosary was that it was to be prayed three times

around to be a complete rosary. However praying it once (all the beads on the rosary which usually

takes 20 minutes) is what I thought was a complete rosary.

To say a complete rosary one must go around the circle three times, fingering the beads, praying and

meditating on the one ‘mystery’ per decade. A complete rosary makes a grand total of 159 Hail Marys,

including the three that you say at the beginning of each go-around for faith, hope and love. But in

common practice, once around the beads is sufficient.

For me the frequent repetition of saying the Hail Mary puts me in a trance-like, peaceful meditative

state, like saying a mantra over and over. It helps you be more receptive to God and it’s believed that

the frequent repetition of prayers gives you a better chance of them being heard and answered.

I was fascinated to find out how the rosary actually began as a prayer. It came from Mary herself when

she appeared to Saint Dominic in the 13th century. Mary appeared to him while he was traveling from

Spain to France on a mission to convert sinners. She gave him a rosary. She told him that praying the

rosary would convert sinners and obtain great graces from God.

Mary said, “This is the precious gift which I leave you. Saint Dominic taught the people how to pray the

rosary as Mary had explained it to him and more than 100, 000 people were converted. The promise

from Our Lady to Saint Dominic: “Whatever you ask through the rosary shall be granted.” (Church of

Saint Paul, 2012 Family Formation.)

Most times when Mary has appeared in an apparition to people throughout the world, she is carrying a

rosary. An apparition is the appearance to people on earth as a heavenly being, according to the

Catechism of the Catholic Church glossary. While the Catholic Church has only officially approved some

of them, many others have occurred throughout the world.

The rosary was Blessed John Paul II’s favorite prayer since he was a child. He taught how the rosary is a

prayer of peace. “In praying the rosary, we think about Christ, the Prince of Peace, the One who is our

peace. The rosary then is, by its very nature, a prayer for peace. It has a peaceful effect on those who

pray it, and it allows us to spread true peace to those around us, making us peacemakers in the world.”

The rosary has personally given me peace and is a piece of love ingrained in my heart.

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Rosary and our family

My growing love for Mary and the rosary is catching on to our family as we have started to pray on and

off a decade of it together during our family “Give Him Five” night-time tradition. We call this that

because our family gathers together in one room where we each have five minutes of silence with the

Lord. After our silent prayers, reading or drawing, we’ll end together in prayer. What’s great is that it

often turns into more time as the boys want to flip over the five-minute sand timer again and again.

While it’s probably to delay going to bed, I chose to believe it’s because they are so engaged with the

Lord!

This whole idea of Give Him 5 was inspired by a dear friend of mine from our church Michelle Gelineau.

http://www.givehim5.net/

Welcome to “Give Him 5″! The purpose of Give Him 5 is to encourage you to spend at least 5 minutes

each day with the Lord, so that you will come to have a deep, personal relationship with Jesus Christ,

your Lord and Savior. The Lord has placed on my heart the desire to begin this ministry. I am one person

who loves the Lord and wants other people to have that same life-changing relationship with Him.

When we first started doing the rosary, Grant (middle son) and Garrett (youngest son) would fight over

who got the most colorful rosary. They were so passionate to see who would get it first they would

snatch it from each other. Again, I choose to believe that it’s because they are so excited to learn the

rosary.

Something Jeff Cavins, a world-renown Biblical scholar who was also a past member from our church,

said how with kids that sometimes we have to give them things that they want (the most colorful rosary)

so they can really get what they need (the prayers from it). To avoid the “colorful” drama over this

particular rosary, we now have two of these same rosaries.

Blessed John Paul II shared how at one time the rosary was particularly dear to Christian families

because it brought them closer together. He urged families not to lose this precious inheritance and

important family bonding spiritual tradition. My hope is that as our family grows in holiness, so will our

devotion to the rosary.

Rosary, my marriage and Mary, Undoer of Knots

I was inspired when I read how one couple has said the rosary together every night since they were

married. They both felt that it was this prayer tradition that has kept their marriage both together and

sacred. I’ve read over and over again about the importance of prayer in a marriage and longed to start

praying the rosary with John.

http://www.givehim5.net/

When John was going through a stressful time at work with his job and hopeful for a new opportunity

within the company, he was open to the invitation of praying the rosary together. He came home one

day and said it would be good to do this together. I was ready and excited to do so.

I had heard of the rosary called “Undoer of Knots.” I saw a miracle transform in a relationship of a

couple that we are close who has prayed this particular rosary. So I thought it would be the perfect one

we could do and learn together with the intention for his work.

What I’m learning about the rosary is that there are different intentions for it or ways to pray it. This

Undoer of Knots was one of them.

“With the infinite love of Mother and moved by her extraordinary power of intercessions with her Son

Jesus, Mary, the One who Unfastens the Knots of our life, comes to you today and she comes beautiful,

triumphant, splendid and gracious to meet you, bringing with her the heavenly court to unfasten the

knots of your life. How great is your love and the love of your son for you. He wants you to discover this

love because it will dry the teas from your eyes and move the gracious hands of Mary to undo all the

knots which afflict you so.” – Mary, Undoer of Knots novena booklet

These knots are the problems in your life that you don’t see any solution. It could be knots of discord in

a family, knots of addiction, knots of unforgiveness, knots of deceitfulness. It’s these knots that

suffocate our souls and keep us away from God. Whether big or little, Mary doesn’t want you to live

with these knots any longer and will help you undo these snarls in your life one by one.

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The Undoer of Knots novena is inspired from a beautiful painting that was later

venerated in the church from an unknown painter. It’s an incredibly beautiful

and symbolic picture of Mary undoing a knot in her hands, with one side of the

rope snarled with knots and the other set free. And this is the intention of what

can happen in your life when you pray the rosary in this particular way.

(www.MaryUndoerofKnots.com)

I ordered this type of rosary along with the novena booklet to explain the process

of praying it and the significance (with a few extras to give to others). A novena is

a nine-day prayer intention that is modeled after the disciples of Jesus were praying in the upper room

for the nine days between the ascension of Jesus and the decent of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.

Using the booklet to guide us, we did the Mary Undoer of Knots novena for nine days straight. This was

the first time in our 15-year marriage that we did the rosary together for a consistent period of time. It

was a new commitment and habit for us to take usually the last half hour over before John would go to

bed (I’m a night owl) to pray it together. While it took time and was often stressful to make time for it, it

was such a spiritual bonding for us these nine days. We didn’t stop there; we continued to repeat the

novena again after we finished it.

http://www.maryundoerofknots.com/

It was also a way for me to share with John, in a nonthreatening way, my love of Mary and knowledge

of the rosary. We started praying it in the fall that something would transpire for him by the end of the

year. One of the last days of Dec. a job opportunity became available. I couldn’t believe it (and yet I

could because I believe in the power of the rosary). While the job ended up not being the right fit or the

right time for John to change positions, I did see how it seemed to help “untie the knots” that he was

struggling with at work. I do believe Mary will intercede for us with his work at the right time for the

right opportunity. We just need to stay faithful toward praying and asking for it.

Unfortunately we have not kept up praying the rosary together as a couple. While we both committed

to it for this specific intention and felt all the peaceful, spiritual benefits it brought during that time, we

haven’t made it a consistent priority in our relationship. Usually what happens for most of us is that

when things are bad – we have knots in our lives – we’ll look to re-engage with our faith (like we did

with this rosary during a stressful time). Then it gets better for us because of our devotion to pray, the

knots loosen. So we stop because we don’t need it anymore until the next annoying knot comes and

then we will be ready to repeat the cycle.

While we’ll all encounter knots in our lives, I believe if we were all proactive in praying the rosary that

Mary would help hold and unfold these knots so that they don’t become such twisted messes in our

lives. If we did this, then we would have just the little knots that a little faith can’t help us get through.

Informal prayers to Mary

While the rosary is a formal prayer to Mary, what I’ve started to do much more frequently is to say the

Hail Mary prayer often throughout my day. I started to just think of Mary much more and call out to her

during the day. Beverly Donofrio shares that whatever way you begin to open the door for Mary she’ll

sneak into your heart. For Beverly it was when she started to put some pictures and statues of Mary in

her home. For me it was saying the rosary that she began to become part not only of my daily prayers

but in my daily thoughts.

One of the ways that I share my informal prayers to Mary is in my role as a

I

b

r

18

mother. Being the mother of three young boys, I noticed while I thought I was a

patient, loving person; I am tested on these virtues all the time. Many times I fail

to react in a loving, non-frustrated way.

I’ll never forget the first time that I instead of reacting in one of those moments,

I instead silently said a Hail Mary. After the 20 seconds it took to say this prayer,

noticed how this pause in reaction helped me to calm down and so did my boys. We all felt better

ecause our heavenly mother was stepping in to parent when I didn’t have the strength to make the

ight choice. This is another habit that I formed quickly and still love today.

One instance, which I can’t even recall what was so trying at the moment, my silent Hail Mary prayer

turned into a spoken prayer. It’s like the equivalent when you hear mothers saying their children’s full

names, including their middle names. I started to pray out loud the Hail Mary. The boys immediately

stopped what they were doing and asked why I was praying. I just explained that I say this prayer to

myself when I’m frustrated and that this time I must be really frustrated as I’m saying it out loud. I

explain by saying this I’m calming down and asking for the loving guidance of my Blessed Mother, Mary.

We didn’t even have to deal with this difficult situation anymore because it became an honest teaching

moment and the issue was dropped. After these motherly experiences, I continue to either say it out

loud or silently. I still smile and have joy in my heart when one of my boys picked up this habit. We

were in the car and I’m not sure what was so stressful, but Grant saw his mother stressed. So he started

to pray out loud the Hail Mary. My heart melted and it just washed away any stress from my body. My

boys were using our lovely heavenly mother to help their earthly mother. It was a spiritual habit that

was being passed down, one that I’m so grateful for.

The rosary walk

As Catholics adoration is where we have Jesus residing in something called a monstrance. Our church

has perpetual adoration, which means that there is someone from our church being with Jesus 24 hours

a day, 7 days a week. It’s an amazing place and being in the adoration chapel praying elevates my

feeling of holiness.

One time I was in our church’s adoration chapel. When I thought I was done praying one day, I

genuflected to Jesus and turned around to walk out. Hanging on the back wall of the chapel is a large

rosary. I felt a whisper in my heart to go outside and say the rosary walking the grounds of the church.

I wrote a letter to John describing my experience that is an excerpt from my Love Affair with God book.

Dear John,I share this letter with you out of the love God has blessed us in our marriage. God is love and the

greatest way that we can express our love is through each other. We are the one person God gave eachof us to grow in love and holiness with each other.

Today during adoration I read a verse in the Bible that spoke to me. It was about when Mosesheard God speak to him through the burning bush. When he heard the great “I am” speak, he took hisshoes off in reverence as he knew he was standing on holy ground.

I then took my shoes off in the adoration chapel as I knew I too was on holy ground. As I prayedand meditated to Jesus, I was led to say the rosary outside. So Iborrowed a purple rosary from the chapel and went outside toMary’s statue to start. I again took off my shoes off as I wasstanding on holy ground with her.

I dedicated and offered this rosary to her and God to useme to fulfill their purpose. I felt their overwhelming love filling me

19

up inside. I started walking around the grounds of the church. I walked by the gorgeous flowers, all thewhile saying the rosary. I noticed the weeds and thought of us and how we could come and help with thelandscape as ours at home is so beautiful!

I then walked the Stations of the Cross path, backwards actually starting with the last station. Iwas in awe of the quiet and loved the serene privacy as I took this mini pilgrimage through the woodsalone. I notice how this too needs landscape help. The mosquitoes made it a little unpleasant. As I waswalking in the middle of the path, I came to the 3rd decade which is about the decent of the Holy Spirit(doing the Glorious mysteries). I felt the warmth of the sun and the Son fill my body with a warm glow ofGod’s love shining through the trees.

St. John saw her clothed with the Sun. Because just as there is no one on Earth who can hide from the

sun’s heat, in the same way, there is no loving being who is deprived of Mary’s love.

– The Abbot of Celes

As I emerged from the path, taking the love and calmness within me, I proceeded through thegrounds, admiring through holy eyes this holy ground. An image came to me, one that I hadn’t thoughtof for years. When I met Jesus face-to-face with his love as a junior in college on my service/missions trip,one of the things I was doing on that Holy Thursday was digging a path for a rosary walk.

Right then I felt the whisper for you and I being called to create arosary walk for our church. Tears and chills filled me as I knew the Holy Spiritwas speaking to me. This is what I was hearing in my heart.

“You have a deep newfound love with Mary. John has a new found lovewith the rosary. You have the open heart to receive this vision and want todesperately show your love for me. John has an incredible gift of his hands, tocreate beautiful sanctuaries for people to admire and enjoy. You both are

feeling a greater call with the marriage ministry. What better example could you show than to use thisgift of your marriage, the gifts I bestowed upon you to serve in marriage together to create this rosarywalk for the entire parish and beyond to enjoy. You will use your own time, talent, and treasure to createthis rosary walk as thanksgiving to me, your marriage and to the church.It is a legacy for your love and the greater love you share with me. A cordof three is not easily broken.”

I was then led to exactly the right place for us to create our love-legacy together. The starting place would be by three trees clumpedtogether as one just like me--the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Ithen counted out the beads and walked the path, step-by-step. It was asif the trees were perfectly aligned and waiting for this Holy Ground to berevealed.

I then finished the rest of the rosary on the “invisible walk.” Itwas incredibly powerful. The image/vision of what it would look like rushecould see us working together on this sacred project, just like beautiful homtime we would be using these gifts to give to our church home, our heavenhome.

This year in 2011 marks the church’s 30th anniversary. In honor ofvision (see my sketch), share the vision with Fr. Jon and start collecting thethe year we celebrate our 15th anniversary as well as turn 40, we use thismarriage--to create a legacy that will honor Mary and our Father as we un

20

d through my mind and heart. Ie projects we’ve created. This

ly home, our forever eternal

the anniversary we solidify thesupplies. Then next year for

as a turning point in ourveil the holy ground of this

rosary path. Together we will grow in holiness as we use our time, talent, and treasure to create aspiritual legacy that will encourage others to grow in holiness by walking the rosary. It will be a specialshrine in which around marriage shines as a symbol of our forever love.

It might not be the Taj Mahal (that was inspired out

of love) but it will be a Godly shrine that we give our hearts,hands, and head to bind our love with God’s. For our 10thanniversary we renewed our vows. Now for our 15thanniversary on August 2, 2012 we will renew our vow to Godand the larger church to our commitment to serving Godthrough our marriage. As you know, I’ve always believed Godgave us a gift to inspire other couples. This is one way we canshow that to our boys and the larger community

John, I love you deeply. Every day with you grows better and better. Withour boys and our strong commitment to God’s love through our marriage, our livesflourish as we grow older.

Here’s to creating, growing and putting our love in stone,Janae

I even sketched it out.

Both Fr. Jon Van

our church, and

have been suppo

but not quite su

John would be m

and has explore

and Fr. Jon woul

endorser of the

thought we wer

right away, it ha

The doors haven

I believe that the

make this happe

praying about it

with people here

I received this vi

will continue to

guidance on wha

will continue to

21

der Ploeg, pastor of

my husband, John,

rtive of this vision,

re what to do with it.

y partner to do this

d the idea with me

d need to be the

vision. While I

e meant to create this

sn’t happened yet.

’t opened in the way

y need to really

n. So I’ve been

and planted seeds

and there. I believe

sion for a reason and

wait for divine

t’s next for it.

Since this vision, I’ve since seen multiple rosary

walks from the pilgrimages I’ve gone on (see the

next section and pictures of them); literally gone on

rosary walks and runs (saying the rosary while

walking trails or running around my neighborhood);

and even created a rosary walk with my husband on

our lake property on Elbow Lake in Battle Lake,

Minnesota.

With the help of my husband, I turned a trail that

we created up on our lake property that we co-own

with John’s mother into a rosary walk. It’s a circular

path that of course just happens to have 10 stepping

it, with the ten stones to represent a decade of the ro

trellis with a cross to make the entrance symbolic of t

five times will complete a rosary. These pictures that

after we officially completed it.

Just months before making ou

was inspired to give back and c

Leo. He’s a neighbor next to Ju

was inspired to build this beau

This has been the only time we

tears that day. Julie’s mom, Pa

thought that Sal and this place

day while we were walking on such holy ground.

Julie and I prayed the rosary in the chapel. It was

angelic the way our voices were one as we prayed ou

to her mother in heaven and our heavenly mother. Sa

led us in the rosary and Stations of the Cross walk tha

he built on the grounds. When I told him the vision I

had received for a rosary walk and the obstacles I wa

encountering, he encouraged me to build it anyway in

faith. Moved by what he created, I wanted to create

little holy place that those visiting our lake place coul

also feel a little bit of heaven when they walked the

walk.

stones already around

sary. So we added the th

he entrance to the rosary

were taken when I was do

r walk, I walked another h

reate a holy place for peo

lie’s family cabin up nort

tiful sanctuary for others

’ve met or talked, but bo

tty Johnson who passed

was so special. I know he

t

l

t

s

a

d

ree beginning stones, a

. Going around the path

ing my inauguration walk

oly path of a man who

ple. His name is Sal Di

h on Lake George. Sal

to grow in holiness.

th of us were moved to

away from lung cancer,

r spirit was with us this

22

23

Three pilgrimages to see Mary

What is the purpose of a pilgrimage? Someone who goes on a pilgrimage “prays with his feet” and

experiences with all his senses that his entire life is one long journey to God.

In ancient Israel people made pilgrimages to the Temple in Jerusalem. Christians adopted this custom.

And so this developed, especially in the Middle Ages, into a regular pilgrimage movement to the holy

places (above all to Jerusalem and to the tombs of the apostles in Rome and Santiago de Compostela).

Often people went on pilgrimage so as to do penance, and sometimes their actions were affected by the

false notion that one had to justify oneself before God by tormenting and punishing oneself. Today

pilgrimages are experiencing a unique revival. People are looking for the peace and the strength that

come from those grace-filled localities. They are tired of going it alone; they want to get out of the rut of

the daily routine, get rid of some ballast, and start moving toward God.

(This text comes from the YOUCAT - an accessible expression of the Catechism of the Catholic Church in a

simple Q & A format.)

As Mary was drawing me in, she revealed to me three opportunities to get closer to her, what I’m

referring to as my pilgrimages:

Weekend retreat led by Immaculee Ilibagiza

Our Lady of Good Help in Champion, Wisconsin, the only Catholic Church approved apparition

site in the United States

The Shrine to Our Lady of Guadeloupe in La Crosse, Wisconsin

The first: Weekend retreat led by Immaculee Ilibagiza

Many pilgrimages in our Catholic faith are often linked as a tradition to travel a far distance to go to a

place where our Blessed Mother has appeared. She’s appeared to share messages with us across the

world for thousands of years. While I wasn’t going to a place where Mary appeared for my first “mini

pilgrimage,” I was going to see Immaculee, someone who I admired and longed to be near because of

her love of Mary. Julie and I packed our bags and our rosaries to go be with her again three years later

this time for a weekend retreat in Southern Minnesota.

This entire experience drew me closer to Mary, Jesus and God through Immaculee’s holiness and love

for her faith. I wrote about the entire pilgrimage and spiritually-profound experience as a chapter in my

book Love Affair with God.

Two special things that she introduced me to at that retreat – our Lady of Kibeho and The Rosary of the

Seven Sorrows – I’ve included those excerpts from the retreat here.

Immaculee teaching: The Love of Mary

Immaculee shared how our mothers on Earth are gifts from God and that we also have a heavenly

mother who guides us and loves us so much. When she spoke of Our Lady, you could feel her utter love

and devotion to Our Blessed Mother. “Whenever I talk about her, I have no words I just love her so

much.” As the love for Mary oozed out of Immaculee, I was just hoping that a drop would ooze onto me.

This is when she introduced us to Our Lady of Kibeho, the story of when the blessed Mary appeared in

1981 to some young visionaries. Her book, which I read in a couple of nights, describes all the details of

what happened in this small village in Africa. A couple of things we learned is that she appeared to them

as the “Mother of the Word” and her messages were for the world.

She explained that what we are craving for in our lives more than anything else is to know that God loves

us. “To know that God loves you and Mary Mother loves you – that love is the greatest gift of our

lives.” She said that this love takes her breath away and over joys her with excitement that she just

wants to jump into her arms. Immediately I thought of my boys being so excited to see me when I pick

them up at night. I love how Grant now especially yells with excitement, “Mommmmmmmm” and

comes running to me for a big hug. (I can see how Garrett is starting to do this because of Grant’s

actions and how Gavin is not doing this much because of his age already.)

This unfailing love overshadows the death of her family. A different way she made me think about the

wounds in our lives is when someone did not love you enough.

A way that we can love God more deeply is through self mortification, Immaculee taught us. For

example, we could choose not to sleep on our comfortable beds one night to feel like everyone who

doesn’t have a bed. (I did choose to sleep the other on the floor with only a blanket to try this out. I was

so exhausted by the time that I slept that I didn’t seem to mind the discomfort. A small gesture I could

do to show my love for God.)

She mentioned that when Mary would come at Kibeho, she would “water her flowers,” seeing everyone

there as her flowers. This made me think of Julie as she and her mother love flowers. When she also

mentioned that many miracles of conception have happened at and through our Lady of Kibeho, I too

thought of Julie as she’s been on a five-year journey trying to have children. I knew in my heart that this

Holy Mother would become a close loving mother for Julie and I prayed for that as I had been praying for

her love to reside deep within me.

A question Immaculee asks Mother Mary is “What do you want me to do at this

moment? She asks this often and asks Mary often what she needs.

The Rosary of the Seven Sorrows

Until tonight I had not heard of this rosary and how to use it. We were asked to

take part in a nine-day novena to pray with this rosary before the retreat and we

would pray it together on the last night. I did my best to pray the rosary each day,

24

thinking it was the sorrowful mysteries of the traditional rosary, which I needed to really learn again.

Until tonight, I have never prayed the rosary like we did or any prayer for that matter. It was late and

the lights were dimmed in the church. I grabbed my regular rosary and kneeled to pray with it. I clasped

the rosary in my hands, opened my hands to the receiving position, with palms face up, closed my eyes

and bowed in reverence.

Until tonight, I have never felt so much pain and peace at the same time while doing the rosary. I’m not

sure how long it took, longer than any rosary I’ve ever said to say it with Immaculee’s heart-felt

reflections and prayers between these 7 sorrowful mysteries. I entered a trance-like state and felt my

body soon becoming more heavy and light at the same time. After my knees started to ache, I knew that

I should not move if I was to fully experience this deep prayer and have the love of Mary penetrate my

heart.

Only a few other thoughts came to me during this time, one was if I was to have this rosary be the rosary

to do our rosary walk. After we finished, it took me minutes to slowly emerge from this so painful and

peaceful place. I guess that is what this rosary prayer is suppose to do as it’s about the pain Mary

experienced with her son, Jesus, along with the peace that transcends in you while you pray it.

All of us left that night in complete silence. Julie and I didn’t talk until we were in the car and both of us

were almost speechless with what we had experienced. I think I remember saying something like this “I

guess this is what praying from the heart is really like.” The holiness stayed within us and we were ready

to be on fire with love the next day.

(To learn how to pray The Rosary of the Seven Sorrows go to http://www.kibeho-cana.org/)

The next day of the retreat was powerful too in which I felt called to share

25

with Immaculee in our personal meeting over lunch (I was one of a few

people able to meet with her personally) about how God was calling me to

write a book and my heart’s desire to have Immaculee come to our church

for a retreat and the dedication of the rosary walk. I left with the love of

God in my heart, Mary’s heavenly hand in my life, and the Holy Spirit

ablaze in my soul.

I took what I learned from this retreat and shared a presentation on my experience and The Rosary of

the Seven Sorrows for both my Bible study at my church and for a group of people in my hometown

church of Sacred Heart in Rush City, Minnesota. It was really special to be a disciple of hers passing on

this unique devotion to Mary and our faith as most of the people I presented to hadn’t heard of this

rosary or Our Lady of Kibeho. It was a full circle moment as my dad was in my audience learning from

me more about Mary as he did the same for me growing up.

The Second: Our Lady of Good Help – “Experiencing the Maryaculous”

http://www.kibeho-cana.org/

The following summer my mother wanted to take me on a pilgrimage to see Mary in Champion,

Wisconsin with a bus tour to celebrate my 40th birthday. When I graduated from high school the two of

us took a special trip to Mackinac Island in Michigan.

Even though my mom didn’t grow up Catholic, she too was falling in love with Mary and having a special

devotion toward her (she converted to Catholicism when we were young children). My father is the one

who introduced the rosary in our lives as he grew up with a mother who loved the rosary and a family

who was diligent in following the Catholic faith.

When our bus trip got cancelled, we decided that we would still go on

our own for a special pilgrimage just the two of us. It remains today

the most special time that I’ve had with my mother as an adult. It was

like I was getting to experience the deep love of my earthly mother

even more as we both grew closer to our heavenly mother. It’s one of

those mother-daughter experiences of a lifetime that I’ll never forget.

It’s inspired me to add to my bucket list going with my mother on

other pilgrimages to see Mary across the country and world.

My mom felt the same way as this is what she wrote in her notes.

“These two days with Janae will forever be in my heart. It was a time of prayer, spiritual healing, new

insights and inner peace. Thank you God and the Blessed Mother for this time.”

It was great because she took the factual notes of our trip (which I included some of that information

here) and I wrote more about the emotional and personal experience we had.

We drove to Champion, Wisconsin (about a five hour drive) talking and listening to Wayne Dyer’s new

Wishes Fulfilled book on audio. It was because of my interest in Wayne Dyer’s work that I even found

out about Immaculee in the first place. It was Wayne Dyer who helped Immaculee get her first book Left

to Tell published and she toured with him across the country when it was released.

I drove and mom took notes because there were so many golden nuggets that

Dyer shared in the audios, like the power of “I am.” As I knew that we would

listen to his CD’s and our theme would be all about Wished Fulfilled, I even wore

my Wishes t-shirt. Everything about this pilgrimage I had prayed about and

received divine guidance on how best to prepare for it. This is why I believe that

it was such an intimate and holy experience for us.

We both feel like God cleared the path for us to have a private pilgrimage to see M

beautiful day and yet so quiet. The woman at the bookstore mentioned that this w

how packed the next day was going to be and usually is.

In 1858 on Oct. 9th the Blessed Mother appeared to Adele Brise while she was on h

This was Mary’s second or third appearance to Adele, a 28-year-old Belgium immig

26

ary. It was a

as not normal and

er way to church.

rant. She was

accompanied by her sister Isabelle and a neighbor, but neither of them could see or hear Mary. Mary

identified herself as the Queen of Heaven who prays for the conversion of sinners. She told Adele to

pray and teach the young children their Catechism.

Then on the exact same day 12 years from when Mary appeared to Adele there was a devastating fire

that broke out near the shrine that was built. People flocked to the shrine to ask God for help. Adele

was inside praying with them. They lifted up a statue of Mary and processed around the grounds asking

for protection. Rain came. The only place the fire didn’t touch was inside the grounds of the shrine.

The white picket fence proved it, as it was burned black on the outside and white on the inside.

Each shrine to Mary is given a different name depending on the location and significance. This one was

name Our Lady of Good Help as this is how Adele knew and referred to the Blessed Mother in Belgium

before she moved to Wisconsin. (http://www.shrineofourladyofgoodhelp.com/)

We started in the chapel and both of us took our time to be with the Lord in here. I was taking pictures

of the glass stained windows, with spiritual words framing the pictures that were also framing my heart.

As we were both leaving the chapel, we smelled this beautiful fragrance. The only flowers near us were

dried flowers and they were not the same smell.

I knew it was a sign of Mary’s presence because my friend who went to Spain with his son for world

youth day shared how he smelled roses too and was told that it’s a sign of Mary drawing you near her. I

smelled it again in the bookstore and when I asked about it. The lady working there confirmed with a

smile what I was smelling even though she didn’t smell it.

With very few people around, we let our souls lead us around the grounds. First we took in the Stations

of the Cross, taking in the beautiful statues pondering the meaning of the stations in our lives. Next we

visited the different stations of Mary throughout the grounds, like the grotto of St. Bernadette. Mary

appeared to Bernadette in Lourdes, France; which is one of the most visited pilgrimages. It’s considered

one of the most beloved shrines and has been visited by millions.

I took a picture of me by St. Bernadette as this is the name of my women’s Bible

study group. When I first started the Bible study just three years ago, I didn’t

even know who this saint was. Now I was here kneeling in prayer, asking for her

– such a special saint and one who Mary spoke to – for intercession and

guidance.

Sometimes other religions confuse our relationships with Mary and the saints

as ways that we worship them instead of Jesus. I like what Matthew Kelly

shared, founder of Dynamic Catholic and world-wide speaker on Catholicism, said

relationship.

“We are asking for the prayers of loved ones to help us get more praying power,

Catholics we believe that the saints and Mary have heavenly access to hear our p

27

when describing this

to intercede. As

rayers and help get

http://www.shrineofourladyofgoodhelp.com/

them answered.” (Our family prays to St. Anthony all the time when we lose things. He’s the patron

saint of lost items and its incredible how we eventually always find what we are looking for. Try it).

When we came to another statue of Mary by the flag to

honor veterans, the sun was shining so bright that I just

snapped a picture. The sun is a great spiritual metaphor for

this year. Each new vision for special inspired projects that

I work on are like these rays of me sharing the light of the

Lord to others. The sun is like “The Son” and the closer I am

Him, the more His rays of light flow through me so that more

my rays of light shine down on others.

When the picture was developed it was incredible how this other object appeared.

Dyer talked about the appearance of orbs. We hadn’t heard of an orb before, but it

see how it seemed like one had appeared in the picture (the small white oblong). Or

beings of light that we often can’t see, but are with us. More orb-type images began

pictures of the sun that I would take following this experience.

When we were ready to go on the rosary walk, I was extremely excited and ready. B

eagles appeared above us. Eagles have been special to my mom for years as a sign f

eternal living presence in her life (and now we were in our heavenly father’s presenc

on a new experience for me too when I had a profound spiritual encounter with one

cabin in the north woods. Here are a couple of blog posts that I wrote the significan

http://goo.gl/cruiX

The eagles weren’t the only creatures to appear to us; a dog came out of

nowhere and literally led us around the rosary walk. It looked like a black

sheep dog, which later I looked up the animal symbolism meaning to see that

its an ancient symbol for priests and shepparding others. The dog was slow in

his pace and never went astray as he led us. Then he disappeared.

This rosary walk was around the far outside of the grounds, with five banners

for each of the five mysteries. As you walked in the grass to the next banner you pra

decade. I’m experiencing how each rosary walk is unique as the one I had envisioned

looked differently.

This was the first time my mother and I as ad

rosary together just the two of us. That alon

special. At one of the stations to reflect on th

impelled for us to take off our shoes for this w

(The same thing I did when the rosary walk v

was Glorious mystery of the Coronation of M

me

I’m

to

of

On the drive, Dr.

was so special to

bs are like spiritual

to appear for me in

efore we did, three

or her father’s

e). The eagle took

with Julie up at her

ce of eagles.

yed the next

for our church

ults prayed the

28

e in itself was

e mysteries, I felt

as holy ground.

ision came to me.) It

ary. This mystery is

http://goo.gl/cruiX

about Mary being crowned the Queen of Heaven and Earth.

When the Blessed Mother appeared to Adele in 1859 she was wearing a white dress with a yellow sash

around her waist with a golden crown on her head. This mystery, the Coronation of Mary, seemed even

more holy to us because it seemed as if this is how she was when she appeared on these exact same

grounds that I was standing on. It truly was a holy moment and I could feel her presence powerfully. I

prayed the rosary with the intention for guidance around creating the rosary walk at our church.

The last place for us to go was the actual crypt; the exact location of where Mary appeared. It is

preserved as a holy place under the church. Many healings have claimed to have taken place here. It

was so inspiring to see all the crutches encased in glass as symbols of healing.

I didn’t just enter this place without prayerful intentions; I entered it with specific

intentions. In fact, I came with a bag full of loving work. Work that I feel was

divinely inspired and yet work that no one

knows about, except those closest to me.

The first labor of love in my bag was my You’re

IT Tribute book that I mentioned earlier in praying for the

publication of it with the rosary. It was really special to have this

with me at this moment because I made this book seven years

prior in honor of my mother. I wanted her to know just how much

her life matters to me and other loved ones around her. So I gifted

her with the book (and concept to share with others) at her

retirement party when we celebrated her 60th birthday and

retirement from 35 years of teaching.

During these seven years, I submitted it to three different places (tha

published, but with no luck. So I brought it to Mary for intercession.

mom we prayed for it asking for our heavenly mother to help interce

mother another way through the publication of this book and help o

they give and receive it.

Then I brought the manuscript for my

God. I had the most incredible exper

with God and wrote (literally hand w

was experiencing. This book was ma

year. Now six months after the comp

manuscript), I prayed for the next ste

just entered a world-wide transforma

before going to the pilgrimage so this

29

t were divine connections) to get it

It was special as together with my

de for me so that I could honor my

thers honor their loved ones when

forthcoming book Love Affair with

ience the year before as I fell in love

rote) the entire spiritual journey I

de for God and shared our love for a

letion of it (least the written draft

ps for the publication of it. I had

tional author writing contest weeks

was the best lead I had for that.

(FYI: Present results with these labors of love are that my You’re IT book is still unpublished with no

leads, yet I remain hopeful. I was one of the winners for the writing contest for Love Affair with God,

ending in the top 2% with the top 1% receiving agent representation and publication.)

We didn’t want to leave, but knew it was time. We bought some special

mementos from the gift shop. My mom surprised me by buying me this picture.

It’s one that had special meaning to me that day and has continued to grow in

holiness for me as I’ve grown to understand the spiritual significance. Right now

the words “I am love” remind me of the great I am power of God. God’s words

to Moses at the burning bush were “I am” when Moses asked who he was. I’ve

heard from countless spiritual teachers the power of these words and knew that

God was with us this trip with his love burning in our hearts.

Back at the hotel we watched a DVD of Wayne Dyer called Experiencing the Mirac

some pilgrimages and gave lectures across the country to where Mary appeared a

ending to foresee where we would be visiting in the future when Mary would call

another sacred site. This gave me the idea to name our pilgrimage “Experiencing t

The next day we had another incredible day as we toure

Norbert College, the only Catholic and Norbertine Colle

the students were out for the summer so we were prett

campus, only passing by a few people. We were able to

chapels, pictures of Mary and another rosary walk (pictu

After this we went to the Norbertine Abbey, home to th

and the National Shrine of St. Joseph. Abbeys are house

and the superior is the abbot (father). St. Joseph is the p

fathers and our Catholic church. This Abbey is located o

gardens.

Again we explored this special place on our own, finding more beautiful

and spiritual treasures. One of my favorite treasures were the

meditation gardens. I could have stayed here for days, just soaking in the

hews of nature as we felt the presence of our Lord. My mom probably

thought her daughter was losing it when I again asked her to take off her

shoes to honor this holy ground moment.

We ended our time doing a labyrinth, an ancient spiritual meditation walking pray

most complicated one I’ve done and it was created in the grass, which was really n

done. When you pray the labyrinth you are suppose to pray for your intention go

ulous as he went on

s well. It was a special

us to visit her again at

he Maryaculous.”

d the grounds of St.

ge in the world. Again

y much alone on

see these beautiful

red).

e Norbertine Order

s of religious orders

atron saint of families,

n 160 acres with four

30

er. This one was the

eat to see how it was

ing into the center, like

going to the inner center of our soul. Then when you reach the center you rejoice that your prayers are

answered and continue to do so as you walk out of it.

It was neat to do this and we made a very mini one of these in our yard at

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home. It started out as a rock one until John could no longer have the

patience to mow around the rocks. So then we took the rocks off and

burned the grass so that the dirt would signify the path. I’ve used it at

special times and am grateful for it in our yard, even though the neighbors

have commented that it looks like a UFO landed.

On the drive home we finished up the Wished Fulfilled CD and were so moved by our time together.

While neither of us wanted this time together end, we know that it will be a timeless memory ingrained

in our souls. It was time for me to now carry on the work my mother did raising me and my brother

with my boys.

The boys were confused how we were going to see Mary, yet didn’t really see her. I figure this will be

the beginning of planting seeds of her deep love for them in their hearts of this having faith without

seeing and will spend the rest of my time rearing them to nurture those seeds so she can bloom in their

hearts.

The Third: La Crosse Shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe

A few months later I was led to my third pilgrimage to the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe for Mary in

La Crosse, Wisconsin. This was part of our WINGS (Women In Nourishing Group for the Soul) summer

retreat in which we were excited to go here together with my soul sisters, Julie Wylie and Sara Zittlow.

Despite that Sara has lived in Wisconsin most of her life, she had never been here. It’s so special that we

got to do this together because the three of us have helped each other the most grow deep in our faith.

After college I wanted to start a women’s spirituality group to grow and support each other with our

personal and spiritual growth. Now 15 years later the three of us in our WINGS group have been a

tremendous support in helping each other with our faith walks.

This would be our first time going here together and going on a pilgrimage. Each of us in our own ways

have been growing closer to Mary individually and even as a group. Julie committed this year to saying

the rosary daily. Sara prays to Mary often for guidance with her motherly responsibilities. The day

before coming to the shrine, we said our first rosary together as a WINGS group walking around the

grounds of our retreat place; Sara’s parent’s second home in the country-side rolling hills of Wisconsin.

It’s a holy place and we felt it even more by saying the rosary together.

After our rosary walk, we had this incredible sun/Son experience. As I mentioned before on my other

pilgrimage that I’ve been highly aware of the sun and taking some amazing pictures of it. I was looking

up at the huge windows in the house when I saw these amazing rays of

light shining through the window. So I stopped to take a picture of these

rays, my new favorite hobby.

I couldn’t believe what I saw in my lens. Therewere these other incredible green, purple andpink rays of lights that were showing up.Quickly I had Julie and Sara check it out to seeif I was just seeing things. I wasn’t and theytoo were experiencing this incredible divinelight show. We then proceeded to takepictures and some video of our experience.We could only see the orbs or angel lights

(whatever they are) through our digital camera lens. I was curious what the sof being meant by color. According to one online source:

Green: Healing orb or spirit

Lavender: Messenger from God

Pink: Accepting spirit

Purple: Orb of information

The three of us met at St. Thomas in college and each of us chose to go there

faith. We would go together to Mass as part of our annual retreat traditions

studied our Catholic faith together. Every year we’ve been together we’ve st

growth, personal transformation, marriage enrichment and Christian living. T

Before we left to go the shrine on Sunday morning, I gave

girls our first Catholic study book 33 Days to Morning Glo

by Father Michael Gaitley. I knew that we were doing th

study for my bible study in the fall and wanted to experie

this with my WINGS group. They were excited as I explai

that they could do it with me as my satellite sisters so tha

we could together experience the Marian Consecration.

pictured left and Sara right.)

We went to Mass at the shrine and then walked the grounds of this holy and

other people were around having their own personal experience just as the t

The Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe was founded so that the Mother of God

more of her children of America, as she expressed her ardent desire to do du

ignificance of these lights

because of our Catholic

, yet we really hadn’t

udied resources on spiritual

his year would be different.

the

ry

is

nce

ned

t

(Julie

gorge

hree o

migh

ring h

32

ous place. Many

f us were.

t speak to more and

er apparition to Saint

Juan Diego at Tepeyac Hill on December 9, 1531. There are over 100 acres of rolling hillsides, open

valleys, verdant fields and meditative trails for such a spiritual setting to encounter God.

Included on the grounds is Our Mother of Good Counsel Votive Chapel, The Shrine Church, Stations of

the Cross, Rosary Walk, Devotional Areas and the Memorial to the Unborn.

Of course one of my special moments was seeing and

33

experiencing the rosary walk. This one contained all four mysteries

painted on blue tiles of the rosary as beautiful concave stone

structures. It was very majestic and totally different than the

other two I saw on my other pilgrimage and different than the one

I envisioned making. We didn’t say the rosary together on this

walk because it was extremely hot out and we didn’t have a lot of

time to spend at the Shrine.

This chapel, which was jeweled on the outside with stained glass windows that depict apparitions of our

Blessed Mother and on the inside with all the flickering light from the candles, was the perfect place for

our spiritual offering.

We lit a candle inside the Mother of Good Counsel Chapel, one of the 576 candles that pilgrims can

request to be lit for their prayer intentions. We lit it in honor of WINGS for the light inside of us to shine

in the lives of others around us. We are that holy light for each other, keeping God as the center, so that

we can shine as much as we can so we can be that light for others.

Julie typed up for us a prayer called With Deep Gratitude in the book called In the Heart of the World

about Mother Teresa. This prayer was composed by Cardinal Newman and is something that Mother

Teresa and her Sisters recite daily after Holy Communion. I pray this prayer almost daily as it’s such a

symbolic prayer for how our group wants to be that shining light in the world.

Help me speak your fragrance wherever I go.Flood my soul with your Spirit and life.Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that my life may only be a radiance of yours.Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come into contact with may feel you presence in mysoul.Let them look up and see no longer me, but only Jesus!Stay with me and then I will begin to shine as you shine; so to shine as to be a light to others.The light, O Jesus, will be all from you; none of it will be mine. It will be you, shining on others throughme.Let me thus praise you in the way that you love best, by shining on those around me.Let me preach you without preaching, not by words but by example, by the catching force, thesympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears for you.

“Through your pilgrimage, may the Mother of God speak to your heart. Through her

maternal love, may you discover anew the great mystery of God’s mercy and love at

work in your daily life.” – Founder of the Shrine, His Eminence Raymond Leo

Cardinal Burke

Personal dedication to Mary

Late at night in our screen porch I had a vigil dedicated to Our Lady. Had you asked me if I was planning

on doing this earlier that day or evening, I would have been baffled by the thought. Yet as my soul was

inspired to do so, I followed in faith.

I knew that night I wanted to take notes on the book Gifts of Grace by Lone Jensen I had just finished

about Mary. Earlier that day I was inspired to write Mary a letter of invitation into my life, again

something that transpired in my soul.

As I think about the time I had to do this, I’m grateful to know it was Mary, like a good mother who

helped me get the kids down to bed at 6:30 pm (totally abnormal for summer time, which is usually

8:30-9pm). They were exhausted after an adventure-filled weekend. So it worked out and here’s how

my Mary day came about.

Morning/afternoon – said the rosary and finished reading the book Gifts of Grace, the first book about

Mary I’ve read.

Evening (6:30-8:00pm) – did my devotions, Bible reading and wrote a letter to Mary (below).

Late evening (10pm – midnight) – took notes on the book (following the letter) and conducted my vigil

to her.

Dear Mary,

I just finished the book Gifts of Grace, a wonderful book about

so many personal encounters with you. I thank you so much for

drawing me closer and closer to you, with new insights and

understanding about you.

I’m so in awe of how you’ve revealed yourself to so many in so

many very deep and personal ways. Thank you for doing the

same with me. All of the inspiration around you is one way that

you are connecting with me. Two other times I feel you’ve

touched my heart is with the rosary walk vision and at the

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35

pilgrimage with mom. Of course my love for Immaculee is so deep because of her love for you too; like

giving you my three boys as I placed my delicate three dandelions on the altar for your love and blessings

as their holy mother during her retreat.

After reading this book, I feel like this is what’s speaking to me so strongly:

How the one lady had a deep relationship with you and used it to help in her coaching and spiritual

direction with others. I would love for you to be present as I work with my clients. Use me as your

channel of love to shed you love and light, wisdom and counsel on them.

I believe that you are to help many people or anybody who asks. I also believe that you are training a

few to go deep with your messages. I am ready and want to be one of your devoted. With my work

on bringing people closer to God, one way with the Masters in Motherhood so we can help mothers

across the world to you; all of our divine mother. So that we can go to you for courage, strength as

we grow in our devotion of being mothers. (Received this inspiration during my Love Affair with God

experience).

How one man would speak and people felt so moved as if God was speaking to them directly. How

when he gave up his other “Master,” the work he previously did, your true work for him flourished.

He is sought all over the world experiencing and teaching miracles.

How you’ve showed up many, many places not just approved by the Catholic Church. I want to make

a list of these places and the approved ones in the country and around the world. These holy places

are on my bucket list.

I want to go with Mom to a Mary place together as our special trip annually if possible to keep our

amazing love together for Mary and each other.

I know that you are calling the three of us WINGS gals to see you for our 40th trip. Thank you for

revealing that during our summer retreat.

How I can do a rosary walk at our lake and a meditation garden here for now until you reveal the

way and support for the larger one at church.

How perfect that our next Women at the Well Bible study will be around you! I should get this for

mom, Sara, Julie and Brigit so they can all do the official consecration to at the end of the year.

Mary, I thank you for all the love you’ve brought in my heart so far. I thank you for all that’s come as I

invite you to have a permanent indwelling in my heart. Help me to see you as you see. Help me to love

as you love. Help me to accept as you accept. Help me to mother as you mother.

With all my love and devotion,

Your daughter Janae

At one point rereading and taking notes the inspiration just came to me. Mary shares how she likes to

inspire people. So even though she might not appear to you visually she is appearing in your

inspirations. These are a few of the notes I took from the book that inspired me:

“Mary helps us grow in our relationships. She nurtures our faith and our lives are never again the same

after she touches our hearts. She is here to touch our hearts so that we can be open to the power of

love. She promises to return us to spiritual wholeness when we open our hearts to God through prayer.

She is the embodiment of love and compassion and an encounter with the Virgin Mary leaves no one

unaffected.

The true meaning of living our faith is extending the love we feel for God and others. Mary helps us

experience God’s love more deeply. She comes to revive fervor and faith because she’s always thinking

of her children’s well being. Through her apparitions and messages she is telling us that God loves us!

With Mary we can put all our eggs in one basket because she gives them to God.”

The idea of a late-night vigil might have come from the movie Dead

Poets Society that I recently re-watched. Some boys secretly revived

a professor’s old club late at night to the dead poets who have such

beautiful words and thoughts th