Love and Logic

Matt KendraAnneCarol Becky

“Norms” that teachers must address when forming a discipline plan…

Norm 1: Students have rights Don’t let them feel like you are violating those

rights

Norm 2: The future is not an extension of the past Old management strategies that worked for your

parents (or you!) don’t necessarily work now

Norm 3: “It’s not my fault!” Some students may need to be taught how to

place blame on the appropriate source

Norms Cont…

Norm 4: Achievement determines worth What we do is an extension of who we

are, not what we are worth

Norm 5: I see, I want, I believe I deserve Students are used to deserving

privileges Much more value in getting what you

have earned

Common Myths of the Classroom…

Myth 1: Students must be warned in advance of the consequences for violating rules. Specific consequences don’t deter students Use fair, appropriate consequences in each situation

students can tell you if it isn’t fair

Myth 2: When students break the rules, consequences must follow immediately. Time to cool down Come up with appropriate consequences Don’t put stress on yourself to deal immediately

Myths Cont…

Myth 3: It is not necessary for students to like their teachers. However they should respect them. What would you do to shine for someone

you love?? Perform for who you love—and if you

don’t love yourself yet, perform for your teacher until you do

Purpose of Love and Logic

Puts Teachers In Control Teachers wait to deal with misbehavior

Teaches Kids To Think For Themselves Teachers question instead of talking Students do the talking Students come up with their own solutions “The brain that does the thinking grows the

dendrites”

Purpose Cont…

Raises The Level Of Student Responsibility Students take responsibility for their

misbehavior and their learning Student ownership

Prepares Kids To Function Effectively In A Society Filled With Temptations, Decisions, And Consequences Students deal with problems as they

would in the “real world”

Purpose Cont…

Develops Better Relationships With Kids Teachers are no longer the “bad guys” Teachers and students are on closer

levels Leads to improved cooperation

The Three Rules of Love & Logic…

Use enforceable limits

Provide choices with limits

Applying consequences with empathy

Using Enforceable Limits…

Tell the kids how you run your life not how they run theirs

The students will have to make their own decisions and live with the consequences

Provide Choices w/ Limits…

Give two choices you likeDelivery is important Give them ownership of their choice Examples

Your welcome to _____ or _____. Would you rather _____ or _____.

Wording (Changing Your Garbage to Gold)…

Unenforceable Statements Open your books to

page 54. You can’t go to the

restroom until I finish the directions.

Turn your assignment in on time or you’ll get a low grade.

Enforceable Statement I’ll be working from

page 54. Feel free to go to

the restroom when I’m not giving directions.

I give full credit for papers turned in on time.

Savings Account…

You give choices The choices add up You make a (withdrawal) choice that

overrides

Applying Consequences with Empathy…

There is a problem Identify who’s problem it is Show empathy Offer a positive relationship message

Consequences Vs. Punishment…

It takes pain to make changes Outside to inside Inside to outside

Punishment causes outside to inside pain, which causes feelings of revengeConsequences are internalized. The child has caused their own pain with their choices

Four Principles…Enhancement of Self Concept

Expectations Two main ideas

It is fragile and easily broken It is conservative & resistant to change

StrugglingShared Control

Cooperation Choices with limits

Must be legitimate Equally acceptable to giver/receiver Give all with equal “pizzazz”

Principles Cont…

Give Consequences with Empathy Sometimes pain must come before a

change will be made Student’s choice

Shared thinking Questions-think of level (Bloom’s) and

involvement in learning If we provide adequate time students

will often come to same conclusion as the adult

“I don’t have time to work with children in the Love and Logic way.”

Love & Logic teachers consistently report less time is spent on discipline as skills increase.

Finding Time for Love and Logic Discipline…

So What Do We Do?

We stick with it! You control the discipline problems,

they do not control you.

Trick to controlling the time you spend on discipline is related to your ability to:

Building positive relationships Set enforceable limits through

enforceable statements Share control Stop behaviors in their infancy,

avoiding the need for consequences Delay Consequences

Why We Delay Our Approach…

Student is emotional, not thinking right

Teacher more stressed taking time away from activities

Student gains control by controlling teachers activities

Basic Rules…

Meet with students on your timeOwn termsShort, sweet interactionsAsk brief questions

Anne, Kendra, Matt reading… = )

Dealing with kids that feed off each other…

Make a list of students involved and prioritizeDivide & ConquerOption for disruptions Move the leader Go to first student Go to next student Continue until student thinks he/she can

stay and behave

Implement the “One Sentence Intervention”…

Notice positive and personal attributesDo this a couple of times a weekExperiment w/ “____, will you stop doing that just for me?Heart to heart w/students after school to solve entire problem