1What's the problem?A guide for parents o

f children and young people who have got

in trouble online

2Here at the Lucy Faithfull Foundation, we know how hard it is for parents and carers when their child gets into trouble online, either through inappropriate or illegal behaviour. We talk to numerous families on our Helpline who are in this very situation and we have learnt that there isnt a lot of information or help available for families needing to come to terms with what has happened.

The Internet, mobile phones, portable tablets and internet enabled gaming devices have become an integral part of everyday social and working lives. Our children are experiencing the World Wide Web from a young age and although these advances in technology offer a wealth of opportunity, they can also pose risks to our children.

This guide is designed to answer some of the immediate questions you may have after learning about something that is happening, or has happened, in your childs online life. This could be that they have been viewing adult pornography, or have an unhealthy interest in accessing adult material. It could be that your child has sent a naked picture of themselves to someone else or posted it online and is struggling with the consequences, or it could be that your child has been arrested by the police for viewing sexual images of people under 18.

Our experience tells us that parents and carers receive little or no help to understand what has happened and why, as well as little guidance on how they can talk to their child about it and help prevent it from happening again we hope this guide will help you think about some of these issues.

At any time you can call our Helpline on 0808 1000 900 to talk to an operator about what is happening to your family. Our operators are experienced in this area and calls are completely anonymous.

How is this guide going to

help you, as a parent?

3Children and Young People Online: What's the problem? 4

Talking about sex 21

Internet safety 23

Creating a Family Safety Plan 27

Contents

Online Problem 1 6My child exhibits risk taking behaviour by accessing adult pornography Whatarewetalkingabout? 6Comingtotermswithwhathashappened 7Howsafeismychild? 7Tellingothers:if,whenandhow 8Thelaw 8Discussiontopics 9HealthyRelationships,consent,compliance&coercion 9Specificresourcesthatmayhelp 9

Online Problem 2 10My child has behaved irresponsibly by sending or receiving sexual images Whatarewetalkingabout? 10Comingtotermswithwhathashappened 11Howsafeismychild? 11Tellingothers:if,whenandhow 12Thelaw 13Discussiontopics 13HealthyRelationships,consent,compliance&coercion 14Specificresourcesthatmayhelp 15

Online Problem 3 16My child has been arrested for viewing indecent images of children Whatarewetalkingabout? 16Comingtotermswithwhathashappened 17Howsafeismychild? 17Tellingothers:if,whenandhow 18Thelaw 19Discussiontopics 19HealthyRelationships,consent,compliance&coercion 20Specificresourcesthatmayhelp 20

4This guide will look at three main issues:

My child exhibits risk taking behaviour by accessing adult pornography.

My child has behaved irresponsibly by sending or receiving sexual images.

My child has been arrested for viewing indecent images of children.

We also have three sections of general information.

Talking about sex aims to help parents think about talking to their child about sex. We know this is a daunting task for many parents so have included practical tips to help make communicating with your child a little easier.

Internet safety gives general advice and guidance around helping to keep children safe online. The Jargon buster gives definitions for commonly used terms relating to the Internet.

Finally, we have included an example family safety plan which families can use going forward to help prevent a reoccurrence of the behaviour. Each family safety plan will be unique and you can tailor it to your own family circumstances.

C hildren and Young People Online

What's the problem?

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I cant

believ

e this

is happ

ening.

.

5

My child exhibits risk taking behaviour by accessing adult pornography BeforetheinventionoftheInternet,childrenandyoungpeoplecuriousaboutsexualterms,phrasesortheactitselfwerelikelytotalktoeachother,oroldersiblingsaboutit;thesedaystheyGoogleit.Evenphraseswhichseem,onthefaceofit,ratherinnocentcanleadchildrentowardswebsiteshostingadultcontent.Researchalsoshowsthatyoungpeoplearepronetoseekingoutsexualmaterial,todiscusswithfriendsorfortheirownsexualgratification.Ifyourchildhasbeenaccessingadultpornographywhichisinappropriatefortheirage,orhasbeenpreoccupiedwithaccessingadultcontent,thisguideisforyou.

My child has behaved irresponsibly by sending or receiving sexual images Sexting,thesendingorreceivingofsexualimagesbytext,emailorsocialmediahasdrawnalotofmediaattentionoverrecentyears.Itisaphenomenonwhichdidnotexistbeforetheinternetage.Bytheirnature,childrenandyoungpeoplearecuriousandoften,throughtheirdevelopment,looktopushboundaries.Theconsequencesofsextingtoyourchildcanrangefrommildembarrassmenttoextremefeelingsofshame,particularlyifyourchildhasbeenridiculedbyothersfortheiractions.Ifyourchildhasbeencoercedintosendingimages,thereareotherfactorstoconsider.Whateverthesituation,andtheapparentconsequences,thisguidewillhelpyouworkthroughthem.

My child has been arrested for viewing indecent images of children Ifyourchildhasbeenarrestedinconnectionwithinternetoffendingtheviewing,downloadingordistributionofindecentimagesofchildrenyouwillprobablybefeelingverystrongemotionsincludingfear,shame,shockanddistress.Whateveryourchildhasdone,itisimportanttorememberthattheyarestillachild.Itwillbeastraumaticforthemasitisforyou,perhapsevenmoreso.However,nowthatthebehaviourisoutintheopen,yourchildcanbehelpedtostaysafeinfuture.Thisguidewillhelpyouconsidertheimmediatesituationaswellassomeofthepotentialconsequences.

3 issues you may be dealing with

If you want to talk about what is happening to your family, call the Stop it Now! Helpline for confidential advice on 0808 1000 900

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6What are we talking about? By adult pornography we mean sexually explicit images and

videos featuring consenting adults aged 18 or over.

Websites from around the world operate under different

rules and regulations and with varying degrees of access. For

example, some UK sites require age verifications before you can

access material. However, many websites which operate abroad

do not; leaving doors wide open for young people to find all

sorts of legal pornography (soft through to hard) and in some

cases illegal pornography.

My child exhibits risk taking

behaviour by accessing adult

pornography

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My ch

ild is a

ccessin

g

adult p

ornogr

aphy...

7

What you need to know

Coming to terms with what has happened Itisoftenashocktoparentswhentheyrealisetheirchildhasaccessedadultpornography

Youmaybeworriedaboutwhatyourchildmayhaveseen,theeffectitmayhaveonthemandhowyouwilltalktothemaboutthis.Youmayfeelyouarebeingforcedtoexplainsexualmattersalotearlierinyourchildsdevelopmentthanyouthoughtyouwould.

Ifyourchildisveryyoungandhasstumbledacrosspornographyorbeenshownsomethingbyafriendtheymaybeupsetbywhattheysaw.Itislikelyyourchildisfeelingconfusedandtheymayhavelotsofquestions.Itisdifficulttogiveaonesizefitsallapproachhere,aseachchildisdifferentandwillbeatdifferentstagesintheirdevelopment.Nevertheless,itisimportanttoremaincalmandtalktoyourchild.

Ifyourchildispurposefullyaccessingpornographyitisimportanttorememberthatmanyyoungpeopleaccessadultpornographyatsomepointandformost,itisunlikelytohaveanadverseimpactupontheirdevelopmentinthelongterm.

However,giventheincreasingeasewithwhichmoreextremeimagescannowbeaccessed,parentsneedtobeextravigilantintryingtoreducetheirchildsexposuretosuchmaterial.

Whencomingtotermswiththisbehaviour,itwillbeimportantthatyou:

talktoyourchildaboutwhattheyhaveseen

letthemknowwhyyouareconcernedabouttheiraccesstosuchmaterialattheirage

trynottomakethemfeelbadorashamedaboutwhathashappened.Thiswillencouragethemtotalktoyouiftheyhaveproblemsinthefuture.

How safe is my child? Therearemanyfactorstoconsidersuchastheageandvulnerabilityofindividualchildren;howmuchtimetheyhavespentlookingatpornographyandthenatureofthematerialtheyhaveviewedaswellaswhethertheyhavebeeninfluencedbyothersoriftheactivitytookplaceinthepresenceofolderchildren/friends.

Havingsomeinitialconversationswithyourchildwillhelpyoufigureouttheextentofwhathasbeenhappening.If you want to talk to someone about this, you can call the Stop it Now! Helpline on 0808 1000 900 for confidential advice.

Dorememberthatmanyyoungpeopleaccessadultpornographyatsomepointandformost,itisunlikelytohaveanadverseimpactupontheirdevelopmentinthelongterm.

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8Telling others, if, when and how Childrenandyoungpeoplewilloftenbeveryembarrassedwhenaparentorcarerdiscoverstheyhavebeenviewingpornography.

Itisimportantnottoreactinawaythatresultsinthechildexperiencingextremefeelingsofshame.Thisincludesthinkingcarefullyaboutwhoneedstoknowandwhy.Forexample,otheradultswhomayberesponsibleforsupervisingthechildoryoungpersonmayneedtobemadeaware,butextendedmembersofthefamilywhohavenoregulardirectcontactwithyourchildmaynotneedtoknow.

Trytobeasopenasyoucanwithyourchildaboutwhoyouplantotalktoandwhy.Akeymessageshouldbethatyouhavearesponsibilitytotryandkeepthemsafeandthatinvolvingotheradultsisahelpfulwayofdoingthis.

The Law IntheUK,adultvideoondemandwebsitesareregulatedbytheAuthorityforTelevisionOnDemand(ATVOD)andsitesmustkeepexplicitsexualimagesoutofreachofunder18s.However,theinternetisglobalandwebsitesoperatedfromothercountries,manyofwhichhavenoregulation,canbeeasilyaccessedfromtheUK.

Thereareanumberoflegalactswhichcoverpornographicmaterial.Thelawappliestotheonlineenvironmentinthesamewayasitwouldapplytoanyothertypeofmedia.

What is illegal offline is illegal online.

Extreme material IntheUKpossessingextremepornographicmaterialsuchasimagesdepictingrapeisillegalunderSection63oftheCriminalJusticeandImmigrationAct2008.

Indecent images of children Making,distributionandpossessionofindecentimagesofchildrenisillegalundersection1oftheProtectionofChildrenAct1978andsection160oftheCriminalJusticeAct1988.Thismeanssexualimagesandvideosofanyoneunder18.

Obscene publications TheObscenePublicationsAct1959coversmaterialwhichdepictsextremescenariosrangingfromsexualactswithanimalstorealisticportrayalsofrape.

Golden Rule: If it's illegal offline it's illegal online

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9Discussion topicsTalkingaboutpornographywithyourchildcanbedauntingandtheconversationwilldifferentwithchildrenofdifferentages.Herearesomesuggestedareasfordiscussionwithyourchildiftheyhavebeenaccessingpornography:

Impact on future relationships: Youcantalktoyourchildabouthowtheuseofpornographycanleadtounrealisticexpectationsofsexandrelationshipsinthefuture.Perhapsaskthemtodescribehowtheywouldlikerelationshipstobe,encouragingthemtothinkaboutloveandtrust.Youcouldthenconsiderwiththemwhetherloveandtrustiswhattheyseehappeninginpornography.

Pre-occupation: Youcouldtalkaboutthetimetheyspendlookingatpornographyandhowthismayhavebeenimpactingonotherday-to-dayactivities.Youcouldtalkaboutwhattheycouldhavebeendoinginsteadoflookingatpornography.

Consider posing the question: How many young people do you think would have chosen to pursue a career in the pornography industry when they were at school? Thispromptwillhelpyoudiscusshowmanyvulnerablepeopleendupintheindustry.

The legal dangers of pornography: Itwouldbeagoodideatotalkabouttheriskoflookingatillegalimagesofchildrenoryoungpeople.Itsimportantyourchildunderstandsthatitisillegaltovieworbeinpossessionofsexualimagesofpeopleundertheageof18andiftheydosotheycouldendupintroublewiththepolice.Ifyourchildisunder18itisalsoillegalforthemtosendsexuallyexplicitimagesofthemselvestoothers.

'Porn on the Brain' TV documentary: YoucouldsearchtheInternetforChannel4sPornontheBrain.AspartofChannel4sCampaignforRealSex,PornontheBrainisanauthoredfilmbyjournalistMartinDaubney,whowalkedawayfromhispositionaseditorofladsmagazineLoadedafterbecomingafather.Confusedbyalarmingheadlinesanddrivenbytheknowledgethathisboywouldsoonreachtheageatwhichmostchildrenfirstseeporn(10years),Martinexplorestheeffectsofpornonchildrenandyoungpeople.Onceyouhavewatchedthisyourself,considerwhetheritissuitableforyourchild.Thiswilldependontheirage,stageofdevelopmentandtheiruseofpornography.

Healthy relationships, consent, compliance and coercionViewingpornographycanresultinyoungpeopledevelopingdistortedand/orunhealthyattitudestowardssexandrelationships.Itcanalsonegativelyimpacton

self-imagewithyoungpeoplequestioningwhytheirbodiesdonotlooklikethosetheyseeinpornography.Adolescentgirlsmayhavemixedfeelingsaboutpornography,andtofeelpressuretolookandbehavelikethewomeninvolvedinpornography.

Youngpeople,bothmaleandfemale,maydevelopunhelpfulsexualarousalpatternsandunrealisticexpectationsofsex.

Youngpeoplearealsoincreasinglymoretechnologicallyproficientandthereisthedangerthataccesstoadultpornographycouldleadtoadditionalrisktaking/harmfulbehavioursontheInternet.

Specific resources that may help Talking to children about porn: http://familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/sex/porn

Internet Matters www.internetmatters.orgAninternetportalwhichaimstodirectparentsandcarerstocredibleinformationonhowtokeepchildrensafeonline.

XXX Aware www.xxxaware.co.ukxxxawareisdesignedtoprovidepracticalhelpandadvicetoparentsonprotectingchildrenfromviewingexplicitadultvideosandimagesonline.

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What are we talking about? Sexting describes the use of technology to share personal

sexual images or videos. Its a mix of the words sex and

texting.

For example, this could be a picture of a boy or young man

exposing himself or a girl or young woman in a state of

undress; for example, in her underwear.

This sexually explicit material can be sent in a number of

ways; via text message, email, through online messaging or

chat facilities, or through social networking sites.

My child has behaved irresponsibly by sending or receiving sexual images

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My ch

ild is s

ending

or rece

iving s

exual

images

...

11

What you need to know

Coming to terms with what has happened Mostyoungpeopletodayareentirelycomfortablewithrecordingtheirentirelivesonlinemuchlikeothergenerationsusedtodoinadiary.

Thesedaysthough,thisoftenincludesuploadingandsharingphotos,statusmessagesorupdatesonwhathasbeenhappeningintheirlivesorhowtheyarefeelingaswellastextingbackandforthwithfriends.

Whilethisfingeronthepulse,shareallculturehassomebenefits,itcanalsocreateanenvironmentinwhichteenagersandyoungpeoplemakeimpulsivedecisionswithoutthinkingthroughthepossibleconsequences.Oftentimes,theyareonlyaclickawayfromdoingsomethingdigitallythattheywouldnotnormallydointherealworld.

Therecouldbemanyreasonswhyyoungpeoplewouldwanttotakesexypicturesofthemselvesandsendthemtosomeoneelse.Itcouldbethattwoyoungpeoplewhoareinarelationshipwanttoprovetheirloveorcommitmenttoeachother;itcouldbethatsomeoneislookingtostartarelationshipwithsomeoneelse,oritcouldbethattheysimplywanttoshowofforfitinwithwhattheirfriendsaredoing.

When coming to terms with this behaviour it's important to remain calm so that your child feels they can talk to you. Itslikelyyourchildisregrettingwhathashappenedandcouldbefeelingembarrassedandashamed.

Itisalsopossiblethatyourchildwaspressuredorcoercedintodoingwhattheydid.Ifthisisthecase,theyllneedhelpinlearninghowtorespondtopeerpressureandhavingrespectforthemselvesandtheirbodies.

How safe is my child? Itislikelythatyourchildvoluntarilytooktheimagesorvideosthathavelandedthemintrouble.Iftheyhaveposedoractedsexuallyandthendeliberatelysentthematerialtosomeoneelse,itismostcommonlyarealorprospectiveboyfriendorgirlfriend.Beassuredthatyoucanhelpyourchildrealisethedangersassociatedwiththisbehaviour.

Rememberthatyourchildwillprobablybefeelingembarrassedandashamedofwhathashappened.Theyarelikelytoberegrettingtheiractions.Thesefeelingsarelikelytohelpthemrefrainfromactinginthiswayagainbutitisimportanttotalktoyourchildtoseeifthereareanyotherissues:forinstance,iftheywerecoercedintotakingandsendingthepicturesorvideo.

Ifyourchildwascoercedinsomeway,itwillbeimportanttotalktothemaboutwhothiswas,howthepressurewasappliedandhowtheyfeelaboutthatpersonnow.

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If you have any concerns about the safety of your child you should talk to someone about this. You could call the Stop it Now! Helpline (0808 1000 900) for confidential advice. If you think your child may be in immediate danger you should call the police. You can also contact Childrens Services teams directly.

Itisalsoimportanttonotethatwhileitisrare,therehavebeencasesofyoungpeoplebeingsodistressedbywhathashappenedtheyhaveattemptedorsucceededintakingtheirownlife.Keepacloseeyeonhowyourchildiscopingandseekhelpifyouhaveconcernsabouttheirmentalwell-being.

Telling others, if, when and how Ifyourchildssextingbehaviourhascometoattentionitislikelythatotherpeopleintheirlifealreadyknow.Thiscouldbetheirschool,thepoliceandyourchildsfriends.

Youneedtothinkaboutwhoelseneedstoknow.Thismaybeotheradultswhomayberesponsibleforsupervisingyourchild.Rememberthoughthatnoteveryonewillneedtoknowwhathashappened.

Trytobeasopenasyoucanwithyourchildaboutwhoyouplantotalktoandwhy.Akeymessageshouldbethatyouhavearesponsibilitytotryandkeepthemsafeandthatinvolvingotheradultsisahelpfulwayofdoingthis.

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The Law Thistypeofbehaviourisillegalbecausethematerialinvolvespeopleundertheageof18.Undersection1oftheProtectionofChildrenAct1978andsection160oftheCriminalJusticeAct1988,making,distributingandpossessingindecentimagesofchildrenisacriminaloffence.Thisisthecaseevenifthepeopleinvolvedareunder18themselves.

However,theAssociationofChiefPoliceOfficers(ACPO)hasstatedthatfirsttimeoffendersshouldnotusuallyfaceprosecutionforsuchactivities.Instead,aninvestigationshouldtakeplacetoensuretheyoungpersonisnotatriskofharm.Thiscouldinvolvethepolicefindingoutiftheself-takenimageshaveresultedfromgroomingorfacilitationbyanadultoriftheyarearesultofchildrenandyoungpeoplepushingboundariesandexperimentingwiththeirfriends.

Involvementinthistypeofactivitycanbeindicativeofotherunderlyingvulnerabilities.Childrenandyoungpeoplemaybeatriskinotherways.Ifthepolicethinkthismaybethecase,theymaymakeareferraltoChildrensServices.

ACPOconsidersthatasafeguardingapproachshouldbeattheheartofanyinvestigation.ThisapproachisinformedbySection1(1)oftheChildrenAct1989,whichstatesthatwithinthecontextofanystatutoryinterventionthewelfareofthechildisparamount.ThisapproachisreinforcedbySection11oftheChildrenAct2004,whichplacesadutyonkeypersonsandbodiestomakearrangementstosafeguardandpromotethewelfareofchildren.

However,youngpeoplewhopersistwiththisbehaviourmayfindthemselvessubjecttoamorerobustpoliceresponse,potentiallyusingpolicereprimandsorevenprosecutionincertaincircumstances.

Discussion topicsIfwethinkbacktoourownchildhoodswehaveprobablyalldoneembarrassingthingsinourtime.Backthen,however,theywereprobablynotrecordedonline,wheretheycouldstayforever.Itisimportanttorememberthatoncesomethinghasbeenputonlineitwillneverbefullyerased.

Discussionswithyourchildcouldfocusonthefactthatwhenwesharesomethingelectronically,eitheronlineordirectlytosomeonewelosecontrolofit.

Your experiences: Ifyoucan,talktoyourchildaboutthingsyouhavedoneorexperienced.Canyouthinkofsomethingthathappenedwhenyouweretheirageandwhatmighthavehappenedifithadendeduponline?Whatmighttheconsequenceshavebeen?Howmightyouhavefeltaboutthat?

Relationships: Youcanusethisopportunitytotalkabouthealthyrelationships.Howrelationshipsshouldmakeusfeelsafeandcomfortableandshouldinvolvemutualrespect.Nooneshouldfeelpressuredintodoinganything,particularlysexualthings.Beopentothepossibilitythatyourchildmaybeexploringtheirsexualidentitythroughtheironline

behaviour.Ifyoufinditdifficulttotalktoyourchildaboutthishavealookattheresourcesavailabletotalkwithyoungpeopleaboutsex.

Long-term consequences: Youshouldconsidertalkingtoyourchildaboutlong-termconsequencesassociatedwithsextingifthecontentissharedwithotherseitherbypeopleforwardingitonusingmessagesoremailsorbyuploadingitontoasocialnetworkingsiteorwebsite.Youcouldaskthemwhataprospectivecollege,universityoremployermightthinkiftheyweretoseeit.

Peer pressure: Peerpressurecanbeaformidableforcesomakesureyourchildknowsthatyouunderstandthattheycouldbepushedintosendingsomething.Talktothemaboutmakingpositivedecisionsandbesuretheyunderstandthatnomatterhowgreatthepressurebecomes,thepotentialsocialhumiliationcouldbeahundredtimesworse.Alsoletthemknowthattheycantalktoyouaboutthispressureandhowtheycangoaboutdealingwithit.

Taking responsibility: Makesureyourchildunderstandsthattheyareresponsiblefortheiractions.Thisincludeswhattheychoosetodoiftheyreceiveasexuallyexplicitphoto.Havethemunderstandthatiftheydoreceiveone,theyneedtodeleteitimmediately.Tellthemthatiftheydosenditon,andthephotoisofsomeoneunder18,theyredistributingchildpornographyandthattheycouldgetintotroublewiththepolice.

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Research indicates adolescent girls, more

so than boys, sometimes feel pressurised to

take part in sexting behaviour

Healthy relationships, consent, compliance and coercionAswehavediscussed,therecouldbemanyreasonswhyyourchilddecidedtosendtosomeoneelseorpostonlinesexualimagesofthemselvestheymayhavebeentryingtoimpresssomeoneorshowoff,oritmayalsobeawayofexploringtheirsexualidentity.

Anysignthatyourchildwascoercedintosendingimagesorpostingthemonlinecouldindicatemoreseriousproblems.Itcouldbethattheyareinanunhealthyrelationship,orthattheyfelttheyhadnochoice,ortheycouldbebeingsexuallyexploitedbysomeone.Itwillbeimportanttotalktothemaboutwhoappliedthepressure,howtheydiditandhowtheyfeelaboutthepersonnow.

Peerpressurecanbeastrongforceamongchildrenandyoungpeoplesoensureyourchildknowsthattheycan

talktoyouaboutbeingpressuredtodothingstheymaynotwantto.Talktothemaboutmakingpositivedecisionsandabouthavingrespectforthemselvesandtheirbodies.

Researchindicatesadolescentgirls,moresothanboys,sometimesfeelpressuredorobligedtotakepartinsextingbehaviour.Theircompliancemaymaskhiddenanxietiesandsometimesraisesquestionsabouttheirabilitytomakepositivechoicesabouttheirsexualbehaviour.

Takethisopportunitytotalktoyourchildabouthealthyrelationshipsandhowtheyshouldmakeusfeelsafe,comfortableandloved.

If you have concerns that your child may be being sexually exploited you could call the Stop it Now! Helpline (0808 1000 900) for confidential advice. If you think your child may be in immediate danger you should call the police. You can also contact Childrens Services teams directly.

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15

Specific resources that may help

A leaflet aimed at young people who have posted or sent sexual images: www.swgfl.org.uk/Staying-Safe/So-you-got-naked-online/Download-Page

Association of Child Police Officers guidelines on sexting: http://ceop.police.uk/Documents/ceopdocs/externaldocs/ACPO_Lead_position_on_Self_Taken_Images.pdf

A parents guide to dealing with sexting: www.saferinternet.org.uk/ufiles/A-Parents-Guide-to-Dealing-with-Sexting-26SEP13.pdf

A short video from the NSPCC on how to stay safe online: I Saw Your Willy - Be Share Aware - NSPCC www.youtube.com/watch?v=sch_WMjd6go

Take control...

Check other places your image might be by

searching for your name or username.

Use different search sites

Put your name in inverted commas (Jane

Smith) Its more accurate!

If you have a popular name, use an additional

help word (Jane Smith + Croydon)

Repeat the search regularly using services

such as Google Alerts. This will email you

when new info about your name appears

online http://www.google.com/alerts

Bury the bad stuff:

Increase your positive online presence

Set up a blog and write a few posts

Make comments on online news articles

and websites

Engage positively with your social networking site

Contribute to a few other different social networks

The more positive stuff you add, the further down

the search lists the unwanted content will be.

Check your privacy settings and take control of

what people can see

Sometimes it is impossible to delete everything

online. You will feel more in control if you have

planned what you will say if people ask you

about it:

Ive made a mistake

Ive been really stupid

Ive learnt by it

Ive moved on

There are lots of places you can get help:

Childline www.childline.org.uk

Cybermentors www.cybermentors.org.uk

ThinkUknow www.thinkuknow.co.uk

Or you can download the Zipit app from

the Childline website (Supported by IWF)

For more information visit:

www.saferinternet.org.uk/sexting

It is produced by the South West Grid for Learning and UK Safer

Internet Centre and co-funded by the European Union.

Can I get help? NOT PROTECTIVELY MARKED

Produced for ACPO by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre Visit the Child Protection Knowledge and Resource POLKA Community at https://polka.pnn.police.uk

Association of Chief Police Officers of England, Wales and Northern Ireland ______________________________________________________________ ACPO Child Protection and Abuse Investigation (CPAI) Group

ACPO CPAI Leads Position on Young People Who Post Self-Taken Indecent Images.

1. Background.

1.1 The ACPO Lead on Child Protection and Abuse Investigation (CPAI) has released this position in response to the growing trend by young people to take and share indecent photos, not only of themselves, but also of friends and partners through SMS on mobile phones.

1.2 The taking of such photographs is often due to children and young people taking risks and pushing boundaries as they become more sexually and socially aware. With the prevalence of mobile phones with cameras and internet access and the increased use of Bluetooth technology, images can be shared easily between friends.

1.3 Sharing indecent images in this way is colloquially known by the term sexting and it can have extremely damaging effects. In the US, a number of young people have committed suicide after images taken of them by previous partners were posted on social networking sites.

1.4 The 2010 Strategic Overview from the Child Exploitaiton and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre also identifies a wider range of risk taking behaviour by children, including making online contact with strangers. The report highlighted that it can be difficult to distinguish between self-taken indecent images resulting from grooming or facilitation by adult offenders who have a sexual interest in children, from the images that result from children and young people simply pushing boundaries and experimenting with their friends.

1.5 An image on the internet has no natural lifespan; once posted an image may be copied by many others including those who may be predatory abusers. CEOP is aware of cases where self-taken indecent images (which were not produced as a result of grooming or facilitation) have ended up on paedophile chat sites and forums.

1.6 Crimes involving child abuse images fall under Section 1 of the Protection of Children Act 1978, as amended by section 45 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 to extend the definition of children from under 16s to under 18s. It is a crime to take, make, permit to take, distribute, show,

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16

What are we talking about? By viewing indecent images of children and young people we mean sexual images of people under 18.

These types of images are illegal to look at (view), share with others (distribute) or create (physically

take or create the image or video or create by downloading or saving a copy).

If your child has been arrested for viewing such material then it is likely the images involve children

being sexually abused (exploited) which have been placed on the internet for others sexual pleasure.

Images that have been self-taken, for example taken by young people and loaded onto the internet

voluntarily (e.g. onto a social network, see sexting section) have been known to be stolen from their

original destination and circulated and posted elsewhere for the sexual gratification of others.

The number of unique indecent images of children in circulation on the internet runs into millions with

the majority being hosted abroad. Efforts are made by police and the Internet Watch Foundation to

find, block access to and remove images, but the scale of the problem is much bigger than the capacity

to do this.

Responses to this behaviour vary considerably depending upon the circumstances. Criminal

prosecutions are often sought. You will need to think about legal representation and ensure your

childs rights and best interests are protected.

My child has been arrested

for viewing indecent images of

children and young people

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My ch

ild has

been

arrest

ed...

17

What you need to know

Coming to terms with what has happened Bothyouandyourchildarelikelytobeexperiencingverystrongemotionsincludingfear,shame,shockanddistress.

You may be wondering who you can talk to about what has happened. The Stop it Now! Helpline is available for you to call on 0808 1000 900. The Helpline is confidential and operators are experienced in helping people work through what is happening.

Whencomingtotermswiththisbehaviouritsimportanttorememberthatnomatterwhatyourchildhasdone,theyarestillachild.Theywilllikelyneedre-assurancethatyoustilllovethem.Beingarrestedforoffencesinvolvingunderagesexualimagescanbeaverytraumaticexperienceandyourchildwillneedtoknowyouarethereforthemeveniftheyhavedonesomethingwrong.

How safe is my child? Nowthatyourchildsbehaviourisoutintheopenyoucanhelpensuretheystaysafe.Todothisyoullneedtohavesomegentleconversationswithyourchildabouttheirbehaviour.

Yourchildmaynotwanttotalkaboutitandyoullneedtoreassurethemthatyourinterestisinhelpingtokeepthemsafe.

Youcouldexplainthatchildrenandyoungpeoplecanaccessmateriallikethisindifferentways.Howtheyaccessedthematerialcanhaveabearingupontheirsubsequentwellbeing.

Itwouldbehelpfultofindoutiftheywereinvolvedinthisbehaviourwithanyoneelse,perhapspeopletheymetandtalkedtoonline,orwhethertheywereoperatinginisolation.Iftheyhavebeentalkingtoothersthepolicewilllikelybeinterestedinthisalso.

Youcouldintroducetheideaofafamilysafetyplantoyourchildandthefamilyasawhole.Asafamily,youdeviseaplanwhichwillhelpkeeppeoplesafe.Thiscouldinvolverestrictedorsupervisedinternetaccess,openinglinesofcommunicationandplanningtohavedailycatch-upswithyourchildabouthowtheyarefeeling.

Seepage27forsomeideasaroundcreatingaplan.YoucouldcalltheStopitNow!Helplinetodiscussit.

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Telling others, if, when and how Beingarrestedforanyoffenceconnectedtochildsexualabusecarrieswithitaveryheavystigma.Fromourexperience,parentsandyoungpeopleinthispositionexpressgreatconcernaboutthechildbeinglabelledasexoffender.

Yourchildmayalsobefrightenedofthereactionsofthoseclosetothemandworriedaboutthebreakdownofimportant,keyrelationships.

Duringthisdifficulttime,itisvitalyouconsiderwhoneedstoknowandwhy.Forexample,otheradultswhomayberesponsibleforsupervisingyourchildoryoungperson.Noteveryonewillneedtoknowwhathashappened.Furthermore,yourchildwilllikelyneedprotectingfrombeingjudgedbyothers.

Ifyoudecidetosharewhathashappenedwithfamilyorfriends,ensurethatyouplanthiscarefully.Forexample,chooseatimeandplacewhenyouwillnotbeinterruptedandpreparewhatyouwillsayinadvance.

Prepareyourchildforthefactthatthosereceivingtheinformationarelikelytobeshockedandupsetandmayaskmanyquestions.

Theremaybepeoplewhoyouhavetotalktoaboutwhathashappened,forexample,teachersatyourchildsschoolorcollege.Explaintoyourchildthatyouneedtospeakto

somepeopleaboutthesituationandbeclearthatwhilstyouarethereforyourchild,youalsohavearesponsibilitytoensureotherchildrenarekeptsafewhichmayrequireyoutoshareinformationwithothers.

Cautionyourchildaboutsharingtoomuchinformationwiththeirfriends.Whilstaclosefriendcanbeagood

supportyouwillneedtohelpyourchildconsiderwhetherthatfriendmaysharetheinformationwithothers.

Youmayalsobestrugglingwithcomplexfeelingsandneedanoutlettodiscussyourfearsandanxieties,forexample,withasupportiverelative.Trytobeopenwithyourchildaboutwhoyouwilltellandwhy.

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The Law Making,distributionandpossessionofindecentimagesofchildrenisillegalundersection1oftheProtectionofChildrenAct1978andsection160oftheCriminalJusticeAct1988.Thismeansitisacrimetotake,make,permittotake,distribute,show,possess,possesswithintenttodistribute,ortoadvertisesexualimagesandvideosofanypersonbelowtheageof18.

Therearearangeofdifferentwaysinwhichthepoliceandcourtscandealwithchildrenandyoungpeoplewhohavebeenarrestedforoffencesinvolvingindecentimages.Muchwilldependuponthespecificcircumstancesofindividualcases.

Yourchildwilllikelybeplacedonpolicebailwhilethepoliceinvestigate.Thiswillinvolvepoliceinterviewsandexaminationsofcomputersandothertechnicaldevices.

Outcomesvary,andwilldependonthespecificsofthecase.Thesecaninclude:

Nofurtheraction,ifthepolicefindnocrimehasbeencommitted.

Beingcautionedforthebehaviour.

Beingchargedwithacrime,resultinginacourtappearance.

Acommunitysentencewhichmightenableyourchildtoaccesssupportandhelpifconsideredappropriate.

Acustodialsentence.

Acautionorconvictionwillresultinyourchildbeingplacedonthesexoffendersregister.Thedurationwillbedeterminedbythesentencetheyreceive.

Youwillneedtothinkaboutlegalrepresentationtoensureyourchildsrightsareprotected.YoucouldcontacttheLawSocietyortheCitizensAdviceBureauforhelpinidentifyingasuitablesolicitor.

Discussion topicsThisisgoingtobeatraumatictimeforyouandyourchild.Gentlyopeninglinesofcommunicationwillbebeneficialtobothyouandyourchild.

Your child's feelings: Acknowledgethatyourchildislikelytobeexperiencingarangeofstrongemotionsandmayfeelveryvulnerable.Explainthatwhilstyoudonotcondonethe(alleged)behaviour,youstilllovethemandwillsupportthemasbestyoucan.

Let them know it is OK to talk to you: Yourchildwillprobablybefeelingratherisolated,particularlyiftherehavebeenconsequencessuchasnotbeingallowedinnormalclassesatschoolorcollege.Makesureyourchildknowsyouarethereforthemandtheycantalktoyouatanytime.

Sexual development: Explainhowviewingsuchmaterialcanleadtounhealthyanddamagingmessagesaboutsexandrelationshipsatatimewhentheirpatternsofsexualarousalarebecomingestablished.

Encourage them to continue hobbies and healthy interest activities: Itsimportantthatyourchildkeepsoccupied,activeandengagedinlife.Perhapstalkaboutyourchildsinterestsandaspirationsandseeifyoucanfindnewactivitiesforthemtopursue.

Help and support: Dependingupontheextentoftheproblem,yourchildmayneedprofessionalhelp.Letthemknowthatifthisisthecaseyouwillsupporttheminthisregard.ChildrensServices,yourGPand/orthepolicemayadviseyouwithregardtoprofessionalhelp.You can call the Stop it Now! Helpline to discuss this on 0808 1000 900.

Be careful not to minimise the behaviour: Beclearwithyourchildthatalthoughitmayhavebeenrelativelyeasytoaccesssuchmaterial,thebehaviourisbothillegalandwrong.Explainthattheyarenotjustpicturesbutimagesofrealchildren,manyofwhomwillhavebeensexuallyabused.

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Healthy relationships, consent, compliance and coercionViewingsexualimagesofchildrenandyoungpeoplecandamagefuturerelationshipsbycreatingunhealthysexualinterest,arousalpatternsandexpectations.

Inconsideringtheimagesyourchildhasbeenviewing,dorememberthatchildrenandyoungpeoplecannotconsenttosuchimagesbeingtaken.Theyareusuallygroomedorcoercedbyadultsforfinancialgainand/orsexualgratification.

Specific resources that may help Stop it Now! UK and Ireland www.stopitnow.org.uk

Ahelplineforpeopleconcernedaboutchildsexualabuse,includingparentsandcarersofyoungpeoplewhohavedisplayedinappropriateorillegalonlinebehaviour.

The Law Society www.lawsociety.org.uk

TheLawSocietyistheindependentprofessionalbodyforsolicitors.Itprovidesadviceonlegalissuesandcanhelpyoufindexperthelpforyourlegalproblem.

Citizens Advice Bureauwww.saferinternet.org.uk/ufiles/A-Parents-Guide-to-Dealing-with-Sexting-26SEP13.pdf

Yourlocalcitizensadvicebureaucouldalsobeasourceofhelpwhenlookingforasolicitor. THE

LUCY FAITHFULL

FOUNDATION

working to protect children

Stop it Now! Helpline Report 2005-2009Together we can prevent child sexual abuse

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Not a c

onvers

ation

to have

by tex

t...

Talking about Sex (and the language to use)

Dont think you will make things worse. Mostresearchersandsexeducationexpertsagreethatthereisnoevidencetosuggestthattalkingaboutsexwillincreasethechanceofayoungpersonengaginginsexualactivity.Infact,thereissomeevidencetosuggestthattalkingaboutsexcanactuallycontributetoyoungpeopledelayinghavingsex,becausetheycanmakemoreinformeddecisions.Youngpeoplewhohavegoodsexandrelationshipeducationarealsomorelikelytousecontraceptionthanthosewhohavenotreceivedthiseducation.Remember:knowledgeispower,andyoungpeopleneedtomakeinformedchoicesfromreliablesources,suchasyou.

Young people need to see intimacy and sex as something that is valued and worth talking about.Havingtheseconversationsaboutsexsendsthemanimportantmessage,i.e.itmatters.

If your child is at school, talk to teaching staff about what they are teaching and when. Youcanthenprepareforanynecessarydiscussionsifyouareawareoftheschoolsexeducationcurriculum.

You know your child best, so remember to trust in your ability to speak to your own child when the timing feels right. Taketheopportunitywhenrelevantsituationsarisenaturallye.g.ifarelevantstorycomesuponTV,inthenews,iftheyaretalkingaboutoneoftheirfriends.

Dont make sex a taboo. Createanatmosphereinyourfamilyhomethattreatssexassomethingprivateanddeservingofrespect,butalsosendoutmessagesthatsexisoktotalkaboutandaskquestionsaboutit.Whilstparentsareexpectedtoexercisesomecontroloverthemediabasedsexualcontentinthehome,itismoreimportantthatifchildrenseesexualmaterial,theycanhavethisputincontextoraskquestionsoftheirparents.

Dont make assumptions about who your child is attracted to. Also,dontautomaticallyassumethattheyknowthemselvesyet.

Dont make a big deal of it. Inordertocommunicateclearlywithyourchildaboutsex,dontfeelpressuredtohavethetalk.Thiscanbedauntingforyouandyourchild,andcansendquiteanunhelpfulmessageaboutsex.Considerinsteadopeningthelinesofcommunicationasopportunitiesariseorwhenthesubjectcomesup,usingadrip-dripapproach.Makeitanormal,ongoingthingtotalkaboutsex,whenitfeelsnaturalorhelpful(littleandoften).Thiswillgiveyourchildtheall-importantmessagethatiftheyneedtoasktheycan.Oneoftheeasiestwaystoturntheconversationtosexisduringeverydayactivities,makingitlessofanevent.Thinkabouthowyoucanusesoapoperas,magazinearticles,newsstoriesetc.

We know that for most parents, talking about sex with their children isn't easy. This section aims to give some helpful tips to help make communicating with your child about sex a little easier.

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Listen to what your child has to say and ask them questions. Alsoremember,youngpeoplecanaskquestionsinsubtlewaysandyoumighthavetohelpthemgetitout.Dontbeafraidtoaskdirectquestions;sometimesthiscanmakeiteasierforyoungpeopletosaywhattheywantto(isitthis?).Yourconfidenceinaskingquestionswillhelpthemtofeelconfidentinaskingquestionsthemselves.

Remember that young people need a balance between biology(e.g.pregnancy,contraception,sexuallytransmittedinfections).and the relationship side of sex (e.g.howdoIaskherout?)

At times, it can help to talk one step removed. Askwhatyourchildsfriendsthinkaboutthesubject.Thiscanbeawayoftalkingaboutyourchildsthoughtsandfearsindirectly.

Lastly, make sure you know the facts.Ifyoudontknowsomething,letthemknowandthentrytofindoutforthem.

Useful resources Brook www.brook.org.uk

Brookhelpsmorethan250,000youngpeopleeveryyeartomakepositiveandhealthylifestylechoicesandtoimprovetheirpersonalhealthandemotionalwellbeing.Theypublishaseriesofbooklets,leaflets,postersandteachingmaterials.

Family Planning www.fpa.org.uk/help-and-advice/advice-for-parents-carers

FamilyPlanningresourcesforparentslookingtotalktotheirchildrenaboutsex.

NHS www.nhs.uk/video/Pages/talking-to-teenagers-about-sex.aspx

Includesavideoabouttalkingtoteenagersaboutsex.

Department for Education www.education.gov.uk

SearchtheDepartmentforEducationwebsiteforinformationandlinkstoresourcesonsexandrelationshipseducationatschool,includingadownloadableleafletforparentsaboutsexandrelationshipeducationhttp://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20130401151715http://www.education.gov.uk/publications/eOrderingDownload/SRE%20DfES%200706%202001.pdf

Family Lives www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers

Asocialnetworkingandadvicesitegivingparentsofteenagersaspacetosupporteachotherthroughthechallengesandsuccessesofbringingupteens.

Parents Protect www.parentsprotect.co.uk/files/traffic_light_helping_you_understand_the_sexual_development_of_children_under_5.pdf

www.parentsprotect.co.uk/files/traffic_light_helping_you_understand_the_sexual_development_of_children_5-11.pdf

Thesetrafficlighttoolshelpparentstogaugewhatisageexpectedsexualbehaviourinchildrenandwhentobeworried.

TV Programmes AlsolookoutforTVprogrammessuchasTheJoyofTeenSexandTheSexEducationShow.Youcanfindsomeoftheseonlinewhichwouldbeworthwatching.

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Internet Safety Top Tips

Depending upon the age and maturity of your child, consider keeping computers in communal places where you can see the screen.Similarly,youmayfindithelpfultoagreeandsetboundariesaroundyourchildsscreen-timei.e.howmuchtimetheyspendwatchingTV,ontheinternet,theirmobilephoneetc.

Seek advice from your internet service provider to block inappropriate content. Youcouldconsiderinstallingadditionalsoftwaretoenableyoutomanageandmonitoryourchildsinternetuse.Thiscouldalsoactasadiscussiontopic.

When buying a new computer, mobile phone, gaming deviceor any new technological item. AskasalesassistantwhichInternetsafetydevicesareavailabletohelpmanageyourchildsInternetaccess.

Help your child to enjoy their time on the Internet but also encourage offline activity; forexampleplayingwiththeirfriends,participatinginfamilyactivitiesanddevelopinghobbies.

Teach your child not to give out personal information about themselves.Personalinformationcouldincludetheirname,address,telephonenumber,wheretheyliveorwhichschooltheygoto.Iftheyresigningupforemail,chatoronawebsite,getthemtouseanicknameandmakesurethatitsonethatdoesnotidentifytheiryear/dateofbirthorhavesexualconnotations.

Talk to them about the need to be careful of friendsonline. Friendsonlinemightnotbewhotheysaytheyare.Askyourchildtoconsideriftheywouldtalktotheirreallifefriendsinthesamewaytheydotoonlinefriends.

Be open. Takeaninterestintheironlineworldjustasyouwouldintheirofflineactivities.Talktothemaboutwhattheyveseenorsitestheyhavevisited,justasyoumighttalktothemaboutabooktheyvereadorafilmtheyveseen.

Encourage your child to report any accidental access to sexual material such as pop-ups, and praise them if they do.LetthemknowthattheycantellyouiftheybecomeuncomfortablewithanythingthathappensontheInternetandacknowledgethatitmaybedifficultforthemtodothis.Theymayhavesaidthingstheyareembarrassedaboutandwouldntwantyoutoknow.Helpthemlearnthatweallmakemistakeswhengrowingupandthatyoucanhelp.

Remind your child that once an image is sent, there is no getting it back. Stressthatoncetheyhavesentanimage,orposteditonline,theynolongerhavecontrolofitanditcouldendupanywhere.Askthemhowtheywouldfeeliftheirteachers,parents,ortheirwholeschoolsawwhattheyhadsent.

Ensure your child understands the danger of meeting up with someone they have only met online.Whetherthatpersonsaystheyareaman,womanorchildandthattheyshouldnevergoontheirown.

You can also find more information on how to stay safe online via the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) website: www.thinkuknow.co.uk

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Jargon BusterAddress (URL): Anaddress,orwebsiteaddressiswhatyoutypeintofindplacesontheInternet.Theybeginwithwww(worldwideweb),followedbythenameoftheorganisationorcompany.Forexample,theeducationsectionoftheHousesofParliamentisathttp://www.parliament.uk/education.Anemailaddressisdifferent,becauseitisusedtocontactanindividual.Emailaddressesalwaysincludethesymbol@(pronouncedat).Afictionaladdressmightlooklikethis:joebloggs@parliament.uk.Readaloud,thiswouldsoundlikeJoeBloggsatParliamentdotUK.

App (Application): Usuallydownloadedtoamobiledevice,appsareself-containedprogrammesorpiecesofsoftwaredesignedtofulfilaparticularpurpose.

Attachment:Thisisafileofinformationthatcanbesentaspartof(attachedto)anemail.Itmaycontaintext,photos,graphics,soundorvideo.

Blog:Shortforweblog,ablogisanonlinepersonaldiarythatrecordstheauthorsopinionsonvariousmattersaswellascontaininglinkstootherwebsitestheauthorlikes.

Broadband: Analways-onconnectiontotheInternetusingspeciallyinstalledequipmentthatworkswithyourphonelinetodeliveronlineinformationandimagesrapidlytoyourcomputer.

Browser or web browser: Thisisapieceofsoftware(computerinstructionsoracomputerprogramme)whichletsyouexplore,orbrowsetheInternet.ExamplesincludeInternetExplorer,GoogleChromeandFirefox.

Chat room: AplaceontheInternet,accessedthroughacomputerormobiledevice,wherepeoplecommunicatebytypingmessages.Peopleallovertheworldcancommunicateinachatroom,whereeveryonecansee

whatisbeingtypedbyeveryoneelse,eitherontheircomputerscreenormobiledevice.

Cloud-based storage: Datacanbestoredonclouds,insteadofonyourcomputercloudstorageisaccessedviatheinternet.Thebenefitofcloudstorageisthatitishardertolosedata(forexample,ifacomputerbreaks,datastoredonthecloudiseasilyrecoverable).

Cookies: Cookiesaresmallfilesautomaticallydownloadedtoyourcomputerbywebsitesthatyouaccess:cookiescancontaininformationaboutwhatyouvelookedatonthatwebsite.Thesitethenknowsthatyouhavebeentherebefore,andsometimes,cookiestailorwhatpopsuponscreennexttimeyouvisitthesitetosuityoumore.

Download: Thismeanstotransferinformationtoyourcomputer.Oftenitisfree.Forexample,youmaydownloadanimagefromawebsiteontoyourcomputersoyoucanprintitout.Youcanalsodownloadsoftwarethatallowsyoutochat.Youcanevendownloadapieceofmusicfrommusicwebsites.

Email (electronic mail): Messagessentelectronically(overtheInternet)fromonecomputertoanother.

Emoticon: Acombinationofcharactersandpunctuationusedintypedmessageswhich,whenviewedfromacertainangle,resemblesafacialexpression.Forexample,:)isasmileyfaceand:(isanunhappyface.

Facebook: Asocialnetworkingsitewherepeoplecanhavetheirownpageontheinternet,playgames,talktotheirfriendsandshareinformation.

Favourites: AplaceonyourInternetbrowsertostorewebaddressesthatyouuseoften,ordontwanttoforget.

Filter: Computersoftwarethatallowsyoutoblockcertainmaterialfromyourcomputer.Youcan,forexample,blockwebsiteswithviolent,sexualorracistcontent.

Firewalls: FirewallsareusedtopreventunauthorisedInternetusersfromaccessingprivatenetworksorcomputersconnectedtotheInternet.Allmessagesenteringorleavingthecomputerpassthroughthefirewall,whichexamineseachmessageandblocksthosethatdonotmeetthespecifiedsecuritycriteria.

Flickr: Awebsitewherepeoplecansharetheirphotosforotherstosee.

Follow/following: Subscribingtoautomaticallyseewhenaperson(whoyouarefollowing)postssomethingonasocialmediasite.

Google:Acompanyknownforprovidingapopularsearchengineforpeopletobrowse(orsurf)theinternet.

Grooming:Onlinegroomingmayoccurbypeopleformingrelationshipswithchildrenandpretendingtobetheirfriend.Theydothisbyfindingoutinformationabouttheirpotentialvictimandtryingtoestablishthelikelihoodofthechildtelling.Theytrytofindoutasmuchastheycanaboutthechildsfamilyandsocialnetworksand,iftheythinkitissafeenough,willthentrytoisolatetheirvictimandmayuseflatteryandpromisesofgifts,orthreatsandintimidationinordertoachievesomecontrolinordertosexuallyharmthem.

Hacker: Someonewhoattemptstoaccesssecureinformationovertheinternetwithoutpermissiontheydothisbyexploitingweaknessesinacomputersystem(e.g.aninsecurepassword).

Hashtag (#): UsedonsocialmediasitessuchasTwittertoidentifymessagesonaspecifictopic.

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What o

n eart

h does

that m

ean?!!Hotspot: Anareainwhichyoucanconnecttoawireless

internetconnection.

Icon: Asmallpictureorimage,oftenself-explanatory,whichmakessomethinghappenwhenyouclickonit.Forexample,clickingonaprintericonwillprintthepageyouhaveonyourcomputerscreen.

Inbox:Thedestinationofemailsyoureceive;whereyoucanviewyouremails.

Instant Messaging:AwayofexchangingtypedmessageswithafriendorgroupoffriendsovertheInternet,similartosendingtextmessagesfrommobilephones.

Internet:Aworldwidenetworkofcomputersthatconnectspeopleandinformation.Alsoknownasthenetortheweb.

ICQ (I seek you):Internetsoftwareyoudownload(fromwww.icq.com)thattellsyouwhichofyourfriendsareonlineandletsyoucontactthem.Thesoftwareletsuserschat,sendmessagesandfiles,exchangewebaddressesandplaygames.

Instagram: Anonlinemobilephoto-sharing,video-sharingandsocialnetworkingservicethatenablesitsuserstotakepicturesandvideos,andsharethemonavarietyofsocialnetworkingplatforms,suchasFacebook,Twitter,andFlickr.

iTunes: Asoftwareprogram,runbythecompanyApple,thatallowsyoutobuyandplayavarietyofmultimediaproducts,includingmusicandvideos,andtransferthemtoproductsbyApple(suchasiPodsandiPhones).

IRC (Internet Relay Chat): Anotherformofonlinechat.Youneedtodownloadsomesoftwaretouseit.Visitwww.mirc.comtofindoutmore.

ISP (Internet Service Provider):YouneedseveralthingstoconnecttotheInternet:abrowseronyourcomputer,amodem(seebelow)andanISPtoconnectyou.ISPsarecommercialcompaniesthathavedifferentwaysofchargingyoufortheirservices.Well-knownISPsincludeBT,TalkTalk,VirginandSky,buttherearemanyothers.

Kik: Anappthatletsyousendtextsforfree.LinkedIn:Asocialnetworksitewherepeoplemakeprofessionalbusinessconnections.

MMS: Standsformulti-mediamessagesservice.Thismeanssendingmessagesbetweenmobilephonesorbetweenmobilephonesandcomputeremail.Thesecanbetextmessages,stillimages,shortfilmsoraudioclips.

Modem: Amodemispartofyourcomputerthatletsitcommunicatewithothersthroughtelephonelines.Somemodemsarebuiltintocomputersandsomeareaddedonasexternaldevices.

Moderated chat room: Chatroomsthathaveapersonorapieceoftechnologytosupervisethechatandmakesureitissuitable.

Newsgroup: Newsgroup,communitiesandclubsarediscussiongroupsontheInternet.Unlikechatrooms,usersdonotcommunicatelive,butpostmessagestoeachotheronaparticulartopic.Theyarepotentiallyopentoabuse,forexample,throughpeoplepostingillegalmaterial.

Online/Offline: BeingonlinemeansbeingconnectedtotheInternet.Offlineissometimesusedasanothertermfortherealworld(i.e.outsidetheInternet).

Parental control software: Softwarewhichcanhelprestrictwhatchildrenorvulnerablepeoplecandoandseeontheinternet:forexample,parentalcontrolsoftwarewillrestrictaccesstopornographywebsites.

Peer to Peer (P2P): Amethodoffilesharingoveranetwork,inwhichindividualcomputersarelinkedviatheInternet.

Picture messaging: Manynewmobilephonesarefittedwithdigitalstillorvideocameras.YoucantakepictureswiththeseandsendthemviathemobilenetworkstoothermobiledeviceswiththesametechnologyortoemailaddressesviatheInternet.

Profile: Somechatrooms,andmostsocialnetworkingsites,letuserscompleteapersonalprofilewhichotherscansee.Childrenandteenagersshouldneverincludein

aprofileanyinformationthatcouldidentifythem,ordisclosewheretheyare.

Recycle bin: Aplacefilesgotoonacomputerbeforebeingpermanentlydeleted.So,ifyoudeletesomethingbyaccident,youcanrecoveritfromyourrecyclebin.

Re-tweet (RT):TwitterlanguagefortakingaTweet(amessage)somebodyelsehaspostedandpostingitagainonyourownprofilesothatyourfollowerscanseeit.

RSS: Aprogrammewhichcanalertparents/carerswhentheirchildupdatestheirblogwithnewinformationoranewphoto.

Selfie:Aself-takenphotograph(taken,forexample,withamobilephonewhichhasabuilt-incameraorawebcam).

Sexting: Sendingsexualimagesofthemselvesandeachothertoothersphones.

Sharing: Whensomeonesharescontentfromawebsiteorappusingasocialnetworkingsite,itappearsontheirprofilefortheirfriendstosee.Sharing,therefore,helpspeopleusingawebsitetoshowtheirfriendsthingsthatareimportanttothem.

SMS: Standsforshortmessagingserviceandmeanssendingtextmessagesbymobilephones.

Smartphone: Atypeofmobilephonewhichcanalsoperformsomeofthefunctionsofacomputer,likeaccessingtheinternet,editingfiles,andplayinggames.Manysmartphonesalsohavetouch-screens.

Snapchat: Anappthatallowsuserstotakeapicture/shortvideo,andadddrawingstothese,andsendthemtofriendsmobiledevices.Thesendercancontrolthe

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amountoftime(rangingfrom1to10seconds)thattheimage/videowillbeviewablefor,onceopened.Theideaisthatoncetherecipientopensthesnaptoview,itwillbehiddenanddeleted,hence,notabletobeviewedagain.

Social Networking Site: Thephraseusedtodescribeanywebsitethatenablesuserstocreateapublicprofilewithinthatsiteandformrelationshipswithotherusersofthesamewebsite.ExamplesincludeFacebook,TwitterandLinkedin.

Spam: Likejunkmailthroughyourdoor,spamisemailyouhaventaskedforanddontwant.Itcanbesexuallyexplicit,whichisanotherreasonforchildrennottogiveouttheiremailaddresswhentheyareonline.

Spoofing: Attemptingtogetsomeonetogiveyoutheirprivatedataovertheinternet/emailbyposingasareputablecompany(e.g.abank).Alsoknownasphishing.

Streaming: Watchingasound/videofileontheinternetwithoutdownloadingit.

Tablet: Akeyboardlesscomputerdisplayedonascreen,whichyouusebytouchingitwithyourfingersorastylustonavigate.ExamplesincludeiPadsandSamsungGalaxytabs.

Tags/tagging: Tolabelapieceofcontent(likeanimage,blogpostorvideo)withkeywordssothatitiseasytofindandendsupinsearchresults.

Trend/trending: Aninternettrendisatopic,event,picture,video,catch-phrase,app,etc.thatisbeingwidelyusedordiscussedandmentionedoversocialmedia.

Troll: Aninternettermusedtodescribesomeonewhodeliberatelypostscontentiousandoffensiveremarksonlineinanattempttoprovokeothers.

Twitter: Asocialnetworkingwebsitewherepeoplecanonlypostshortmessagesof140charactersorless.TheseshortmessagesarecalledTweets.PeoplecanuseTwitterontheirphonesviaanapp.

Upload: Topostsomethingontotheinternet.

Username: Anidentifyingnameyougiveyourselftologintoservices,whichyoucanchooseyourself.Ausernamedoesnotneedtobeyourrealname.

URL: AnothertermforanInternet,orwebsiteaddress.(ItstandsforUniformResourceLocator.)

Vine: Ashort-formvideosharingservicewhichallowsserviceuserstorecordandeditfivetosix-secondlongloopingvideoclips.Thesearethensharedonsocialnetworkingsites.

Viral video: AviralvideoisavideothatbecomespopularthroughtheprocessofInternetsharing,typicallythroughvideosharingwebsites,socialmediaandemail.Viralvideosoftencontainhumorouscontent.Oncesomethinghasgoneviralitmeansithasbeensharedmultipletimesandmaybehostedonnumerouswebsites.

WAP: WAPstandsforWirelessApplicationProtocolandisthetechnologyusedbymostmobilephonestobrowseInternetsitesthatarewritteninacompatibleformat.

Web: ThevastcollectionofwebsitesthathasbeenputintotheInternetbycompanies,organisationsandindividuals.ItissometimesusedtomeantheInternet,butstrictlyspeakingisonlyoneareaofit.Newsgroups,forinstance,areInternetservices,notwebservices.Youandyourchildren,however,canaccessboth.

Webcams: Thistermisshortforwebcameras.TheyarespecialvideocamerasthatcanbelinkedtotheInternet.Justlikeordinarycameras,youpointthematsomething,sayafriendoraviewofthebeach,andtheimageappears,moreorlessstraightawayonyourcomputerscreen.Whiletheyareafantasticpieceoftechnology,theycouldbeusedtosendorreceiveunpleasantorillegalimages.

Whispering: Whisperingisawayofsendingaprivatemessagetoanindividualinachatroom.Thisislikehavingaprivateconversationwithastranger.Asintherealworld,itissafertostayinthepublicareaofthechatroom.

Wi-Fi: Wi-Fiisawayofgettingbroadbandinternetwithoutwires.Adevicecalledawirelesstransmitterreceivesinformationfromtheinternetviaabroadbandconnection.Thetransmitterconvertstheinformationintoaradiosignalandsendsittowi-fienableddevices.

Whatsapp: Anappthatusestheinternettoallowtheusertosendtexts,picturesandvideosforfree.

YouTube: Apopularvideohostingwebsitewherepeoplecanupload,watch,share,commentonandratevideos.

ASL =Age,sex,location

POS =Parentovermyshoulder

A? =Pardon

L8R =Later

LOL =Laughoutloud

PIR =Parentinroom

NTHNG =Nothing

THANQ =Thankyou

OMG =OhmyGod!

RUOK =Areyouokay?

LMAO =Laughmyassoff

SPK =Speak

ROFL =Rollingonthefloorlaughing

BTW =Bytheway

R =Are

EZ =Easy

PMSL =Peemyselflaughing

WTF =Whatthe[flip]

KTHNX =Ok,thanks

TLTR =Toolongtoread

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Creating a Family Safety Plan

For families where there have been worries about a

young persons behaviour, it can be beneficial to create

a family safety plan. This is something that can be done

collaboratively, with all family members on board. It can

be a really useful way of agreeing how can we make

sure everyone is safe and what can we do in case things

go wrong. This is as much about saying what we want

young people (and in some cases parents, too) to do,

as well as what we might want them not to do. Family

safety plans can also help young people and their

parents to work together on making joint decisions and

on communication.

Wheretherehavebeenconcernsaboutayoungpersonsbehaviouronlineorwithnewtechnologies,thereareafewkeystartingpointsforafamilysafetyplan:

Talk about any warning signs. Aretherethingsthatmighttellyouortheyoungpersonwhenthingsarentquiteright?Canyoutalkaboutwhattodoifyouseeanyofthesewarningsigns?

Opening the lines of communication. Conversationsbetweenyoungpeopleandtheirfamiliesshouldbeanon-goingprocessnotjustaone-timeeventaftersomethingconcerninghashappened.LeteveryoneinthefamilyknowitisOKtoaskquestions.Itisimportantforadultstosetthetonebytalkingaboutsexappropriatelyandforyoungpeopletoknowthattheywillnotshock/embarrasstheirparentsiftheyaskquestions.Adultsneedtoleadbyexamplebyopeningupdiscussionsaboutwhatisokandwhatisnotok.

Set clear family boundaries. Talkaboutandsetclearfamilyboundarieswithfamilymembersaroundwhathashappened(e.g.aroundcomputeruse).Astheyoungpersongetsolder,thesewillneedtobeadjusted.

Seek help and advice - you are not alone. Ifanyfamilymemberisworriedaboutaconcerningsexualbehaviour,youcancalltheStopitNow!Helpline(08081000900)forconfidentialadvice.

Make sure everyone knows that its OK to talk with you about what may have already happened. Leteveryoneinvolvedaskquestions,andprovideopportunitiesforfamilymemberstotalkinprivateifthisishelpful.

Sometimes it can be useful to identify who everyone involved will talk to if there is a concern or worry. Thismightbeeachother(e.gMumwilltalktoHarryifshethinksheisspendingtoomuchtimeonline),oritmightbeatrustedfamilyfriendorrelativewhoisawareaboutwhatshappened.Itisimportantthatwhoeverthisis,itissomeonewhoisresponsible,honestandtrustworthy.

See the following sheets for an example of what a family safety plan might look like. Thiscanbealteredaccordingtoyourfamilysneedsandwillprobablyneedtobeamendedovertime.

Back to Contents

28

Famil

y Saf

ety P

lan

Who is

going

to be

invol

ved

in th

is pla

n?

Who a

re w

e worr

ied a

bout

?

What

is it

we a

re w

orried

abo

ut ha

ppen

ing? (

Wha

t hap

pene

d be

fore

?)

29

What

will h

appe

n if t

hings

are

going

wron

g for

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

.again

?

What

sign

s migh

t we s

ee, h

ow m

ight t

hey a

ct, w

hat d

o the

y say

?

Pare

nts:

How

do

they

say

they

feel

?

Wha

t do

they

do?

H

ow d

o th

ey a

ct to

war

ds o

ther

s?

Wha

t do

they

say

?

Any

thin

g el

se th

at y

ou m

ight

not

ice?

Youn

g Per

son:

How

do

I fee

l?

How

do

I act

?

How

mig

ht I

try

and

cove

r thi

ngs

up if

th

ing

are

goin

g w

rong

for m

e?

Wha

t am

I th

inki

ng a

bout

?

Any

thin

g el

se I

mig

ht n

otic

e?

30

What

step

s will w

e as a

famil

y tak

e to e

nsur

e tha

t eve

ryone

is sa

fe?

Fill ou

t the

step

s in t

he ta

ble be

low.

Step

e.g.

Mov

ing

the

com

pute

r to

a pu

blic

spac

e

Who is

resp

onsibl

e for

this?

e.g.

Dad

will

set u

p th

e co

mpu

ter i

n th

e ki

tche

n

What

can t

he fa

mily d

o to

help

to en

sure

that

........

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

......

.....

can m

eet h

is/he

r nee

ds a

s a yo

ung p

erso

n and

live a

happ

y life

?

This

list sh

ould l

ook at

goals

and a

ctivit

ies fo

r the

young

pers

on an

d the

famil

y to w

ork to

ward

s.

Goals

e.g.

Spe

ndin

g m

ore

time

with

my

frien

ds o

fflin

e do

ing

thin

gs I

enjo

y.

How

are w

e goin

g to g

et th

ere?

e.g.

Mum

and

Dad

to h

elp

me

to jo

in th

e lo

cal

foot

ball

team

.

What

shall

we d

o if so

meone

isnt

doin

g wha

t we h

ave a

gree

d?

How

long s

hall w

e hav

e this

plan

in pl

ace f

or?

How

often

shall

we r

eview

this

plan?

e.g.

Spe

ak to

a p

rofe

ssio

nal?

32

This guide has been brought to you by the child protection charity The Lucy Faithfull Foundation. For confidential advice and support, call the Stop it Now! Helpline 0808 1000 900. To obtain a hard copy of this guide contact:

The Lucy Faithfull Foundation, 46-48 East Street, Epsom, Surrey, KT17 1HQ Tel: 01372 847160 Email: wolvercote@lucyfaithfull.org.uk Web: www.parentsprotect.co.uk, www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk, www.stopitnow.org.uk

TheLucyFaithfullFoundationisaRegisteredCharityNo.1013025,andisacompanylimitedbyguarantee,RegisteredinEnglandNo.2729957.RegisteredOffice:BordesleyHall,TheHolloway,Alvechurch,Birmingham,B487QA.

Importantnote:Thephotographiccontentwithinthisguideisforillustrativepurposesonly.AllpersonsfeaturedaremodelsiStockandShutterstock.

Online Problem 1 6 Online Problem 1 6 Online Problem 2 10