lying awake

8/8/2019 Lying Awake

1/11

1. Are Sr. ST. Johns ecstatic experiences authentic? In your answer explain how you would justify youranswer to the above question to readers of SPARROW ON THE ROOF.2.Does living in the presence of God include both having ecstatic experiences and living our everydaylives as best we can (e.g. Sr. St. John trying to be the best mistress of novices she can be)? Is one or the

other more fundamental to Christian discipleship?

3. Contrast the relationship Sr. St. John has with her birth mother with the one she has with MotherEmmanuel.

4. On pp. 140-143, Sr. ST. John keeps vigil in the chapel & is joined by the other sisters holding candles.How is her coming to a decision facilitated by the community?Does the chapter title, Triumph of the

Cross provide a hint?

5. How do you interpret the title of the book? In your answers, please cite events narrated in the book.

C H A R A C T E R SSr. St. John Headaches acting up, 26

Doesnt want to waste anything, 26 Blushing makes headaches worse, 27 Sparrow on a Roof, Sr. Johns book of essays and poems about contemplative lifebeneifted others, Claire

joining was a blessing

Feels like shes gettting pulled, 34 Writing was prayer to her, 35 No light in cell for a month, no writing at night Thanks Lord for pain, 36 Mind fractured under pressure, splintered like broken glass, sure it was death, 37 Entered Carmel in 1969, 38


2/11

Spent last 28 years in a world w/o tele, radios, newspapers, movies, fashion, or menBernadette Sr. Angelica Recited Augustines Sermons on 1 John

There is no middle ground when it comes to loving God. Its all or nothing. 29Mother Emmanuel Prioress

Shared a table with a replic of a human skull w/MotherMary Joe, 24 Doubts about ppl who say they are absolutely certain Accused self of losing her place during Vesperks and fumbling noisily through the pages of her breviarty, 33

MotherMary Joseph Shared a table w/ a replic of a human skull w/ Mother Em Joe, 24 Thinks Claire has good teeth, manners, and good shoes-- NOTHING ABOUT PERSONALITY, ALL ABOUT

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES? The Living Rule Spine looked as if it had been bent from having shouldered Christs burden for so long

Sr. Miriam Serves soup, 25 Novice- so not allowed to vote on new admissions, 30 Thinks Claire seem senthusiastic, intelligent, and charming Flatness in voice undermined compliments Good year bc completion of novitatiate, 30

Sr. Elizabeth Carmelites never asked for anything for herself in the refectory except bread and water, 25 Former concert violinist, 26 Given up career in music to Carmel, felt sacrifice strengthened commitment to religious life Gave Sr John a hug, wanted her to feel joy Excited about Claire Raised Catholic, sensed a calling for years b4 she heeded it

Birth mother Claire Bours Baptized 2 years ago, 27

Works in hollywood, 28 33 y/o, had masters degree in fine arts, worked as a film animator for 8 tyears Persistant questioning, who am I? why am i here? Waht is my purpose? wouldnt go away in spite of her

attempts to resolve it through achievements, ravel, and intimacy,

Unfufilled life She has doubts Visted cloister for 3 days, impressing the nuns w/ intelligence and warmth Intriging candidate


3/11

Was this just a phase? Many successful people go through periods when they wonder is this all there is and think about giving it all

up for the spiritual lifeSr. Anne Belives adversity makes ppl stranger, 29

Believes God is calling Claire Changes subject whenever Sister Johns book was mentioned during meetings

Sr. Christine Wants John to be writing so they can have a foundation in Tahiti Accused Liz of whistling, 33 Proclaimed another sister for falling asleep during the Night Office and snoring Accused self of breaking a dish in the sink in her haste to get outdoors for recration

Sister Mary Michael Communitys extern nun who wore the full habit buat had not taken same vows, 39 Lived in a small building outside the enclosure Duties inc maintaining the external chapel, greeting parishioners, and shopping for community Attended mass every day, separated from teh cloisterd nuns by screen

St Teresa of Avila Had seizures, along w/ heart attacks, nausea, and 3 day coma, 121 No one agonoized more over the question of how to tell the diff btwn genuine spiritual experiennces and false

ones. at one point she even feared for her own sanity

Assured by st peter of alcan that her spiritual favors were from God, she never agian lost confidence in hervisions, even after being denounced to the Inquisition

called her illness her greatest teacher, but she also warned against seeking illness as a means of cultivatingholiness

She wrote just like st john Told readers to stay helathy so they could serve God to the best of their abilities121

Fr Aaron Parish priest assigned to admisister sacraments to the nuns, 123 Celbrated mass every monr, delivered eucharist, otherwise had little contact w/ them Large man w/ eyebros that controlled his forehead Heart rouble Seemed as if the holy spirit rushed into him and have him vitality whenever he led mass Helping st john w/ her problem, 124 Booming reaction, 125 Says that shes closer to grace than she ever was b4


4/11

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

22 23 24

Human skuyll represents everyones motality and insignificance of the asterities they endured now25 Seeing/eyes/believing: The entire life of a good Christian is in fact an exercise of holy deseire. You do not yet see what you

long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when He comes you may see and be utterly satisfied., Augustines

Sermons on 1 John


5/11


6/11

34 People noticed headaches and absence in choir Spiritual gifts made the soul vulnerable Not being pushed but being pulled

35 Penance: refrain from using light Writing was prayer to her Had to submit to will of hte Superior, and God Matter of obedience, getting rest to participate in life of comminte

36 MotherMary Joe asked if she was okay37 Collapse of John?38 John getting into car to doc appt39 Watches monastery go away in rear view

Listens toMary Michael

40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58


7/11

59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84

85 86 87 88 89 90 91


8/11

92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117

118 119 Sis John promised to share medical results120 Doubt, searching, giving up,

Effects of epilepsy, symptoms Presence of eteral harmony Effects on soul, couldnt endure it Dostoevsky


9/11

121 Should he have taking the treatment? Gifted ppl might have suffered from it inc St Teresa of Avila122 If what you have shown me these past three years has been all a mirage, then i am worse off now than i ever was. If i lose my

sense of you, i lose everything.

123 Descript of fr aaron Believed in pratyer and quoted Solomons warning against too strong a desire for miracles

124 Fr arron wasnt someone that sister john would consult for spiritual advice, but thse were not noral circumstances should i automatically assume that my mysterical experiences have been false, or should i stand behind what my heart tells

me? Is god asking me to let go of concerns for my health, or is he asking me to let go of my desire for his presence ? doubt125 were all better off having doubts about the state of our souls than presuming ourselves to be holy.-fr aaron to sr st john

God is left in the equation 0=infinity

126 Sr st john wanted a direct answer not more metaphors the decision has to come form you, otherwise it wont mean anything. Im recommending an attitude, which ill sum up like

this: God first, others second, me last.

127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142


10/11

143 144 145

146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168

169 170 171 172 173 174 175


11/11

176 177 178

179 180 181

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Everyday decisions are made whether individuals are conscious of them or not. It can range from

something trivial such as what to have for breakfast or something crucial such as who someone should marry. Decision making is not

as easy as eenie meanie miney mo, and sometimes its difficult to come to terms with a choice alone.

lying awake

Documents