managing conflict in relationships

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2. Interpersonal conflict exists whenpeople who depend on each otherexpress different views, interests,or goals that they perceive as incompatible or opposed.Defining InterpersonalConflict 3. Interpersonal conflict is expressed disagreement, struggle, or discord.Conflict exists only if dis agreements or tensions areexpressed in same way.Some times we express dis agreement overtly ordirectly, such as by saying , I am furious with youConflict are more convert or indirect, such asdeliberately not answering the phone because youare angry with the caller.Expressed Disagreement 4. Interpersonal conflict can occur onlybetween people who depend on eachother in the area of the conflictInterpersonal conflict exists only whenit is expressed by people who affectone another.Interdependence 5. Conflict is more than just having differenceswe differ with people about many things, butthis doesnt invariably lead to conflict.Ex:- My in laws dont like large dogs , andwe dont like small ones.Conflict involves tensions betweengoals, preferences, or decisions that we feelwe need to reconcile.Conflict involves two perceptions.The Felt Need For Resolution 6. Many people view conflict as inherentlynegative. But that is a misunderstanding.1)Conflict is natural in relationships.Conflict is normal , inevitable part of mostinterpersonal relationships . when peoplematter to each other and affect each other ,disagreements are unavoidablePrinciples of Conflict 7. When we defined conflict ,we noted thatdisagreement can be expressed either overtly .over conflict is out in the open and explicit.1)Conflict can be managed well or poorly.2)Conflict can be good for individuals andrelationships.Conflict maybe overt or covert 8. Our cultural membership andsocialization in particular socialcommunities effect how we view andrespond to conflict.I. Cultural differences regarding conflict.II. Differences among social communities.Social groups shape the meaning ofconflict behaviors 9. People respond to conflict in a variety ofways from physical attack to verbalaggression to collaborative problemsolving.Conflict can be managed well orpoorly 10. We deepen insight into our ideasand feelings when we express themand get response from others.Conflict can be good forindividuals and relationships 11. LOSE-LOSEWIN-LOSEWIN-WIN 12. A lose- lose orientation assumes that conflictresult in losses for everyone and that it isunhealthy and destructive for relationships.The lose-lose orientation is not usuallybeneficial in dealing with conflicts inrelationships.LOSE- LOSE 13. Win-lose orientation assume that one personwins at the expense of the other.The win-lose orientation is cultivated incultures that place value on individualism,self- assertion, and competition.A win-lose approach to conflict is notcommon in cultures that place priority oncooperation .WIN LOSE 14. That are usually ways to resolve difference sothat gains.A win win resolution is often possible.Win-win attitudes result in compromises thatsatisfy enough of each persons needs toprovide the health of the relationship.WIN-WIN 15. Exit VoiceLoyaltyNeglectResponses ConflictActiveConstructivePassiveDestructive 16. The Exit responseThe Neglect responseThe Loyalty responseThe Voice responseResponses to conflict 17. The exit response involves physically walkingout are psychologically withdrawing.Refusing to talk about a problem is anexample of psychological exit.Ending a relationship and learning whenconflict arises are examples of literal exit.Because exit doesnt address problems, it is aforceful way to avoid conflict , it is active.The Exit response 18. The neglect response denies or minimizesproblems, disagreement, anger, tension orother matters that could lead to overtconflict.Neglect generally is destructives because itdoesnt resolve tension.It is passive because it avoids discussion .Either the person thinks that escalating thedisagreement will harm everyone, or theperson thinks that he or she will lose it theconflict is allowed to progress.The Neglect response 19. The loyalty response is staying committed toa relationship despite differences.In other words the person who adoptsloyalty as a response to conflict decides tostay in a relationship and tolerate thedifferences.Loyalty is silent allegiance that doesntactively address conflict, so it is a passiveresponse.The Loyalty response 20. The voice response addresses conflictdirectly and attempts to resolve it.People who respond with voice identifyproblems or tensions and assert a desire todeal with them.Thus , voice often is the most constructiveway of responding to conflict in enduringintimate relationship.The Voice response 21. Constructive UnproductiveValidation of each other Disconfirmation of each otherSensitive listening Poor listeningDual perspective Preoccupation with selfRecognition of others Cross- complainingconcernsAsking for clarification Hostile mind readingInfrequent interruptions Frequent interruptionsFocus on specific issues Kitchen-sinkingCompromises and contracts CounterproposalsUseful meta communication Excessive meta communicationSummarizing the concerns Self summarizing by both partnersConstructive andUnproductive communication 22. Compromise is giving up a little to gainlittle as a quick resolutiontradingrandom selection or flipping a coinbeware of too much compromisingon one sideOutcomes of conflict 23. Win-win solutions please bothpartiesLose-lose solutions solves conflictbut no one is happySeparation removes you from therelationshipDecide to agree with the otherperson. 24. Conflict management is how weengage in conflictIt is how address disagreementswith our relational partners 25. Escapist strategies avoid the issuesChallenging strategies promotes yourpoint of view like assertivenessManaging conflict 26. Attend to the relationship level of meaningCommunicate supportivelyListen mindfullyTake responsibility for your thoughts feelings and issuesCheck perceptionsLook for points of agreementLook for ways to preserve the others faceImagine how you will feel in the futureConflict management skills 27. Cooperative strategiesBenefit the relationship and serve mutualgoalsAvoid verbal aggressivenessProbing asking questionsNegotiating alternatives 28. Respect the right to disagreeExpress your real concernsShare common goals and interestsOpen yourself to different points of viewListen carefully to all proposalsUnderstand the major issues involvedThink about probable consequencesImagine several possible alternative solutionsOffer some reasonable compromisesNegotiate mutually fair cooperative agreements 29. ===== 30. Communication is systemic which means itoccurs in contexts and it is composed ofmany interacting parts. Applying theprincipal of system to conflict we can seethat how we deal with conflict is shaped bythe overall system of relationship andcommunication. 31. Timing effects how we communicateabout conflicts. There are three waysto use chronemics so that conflicts aremost likely to be effective .first try notto engage is serious conflict discussionsat time when one or both people willnot be fully present psychologically. 32. When conflict exists two peoplewho care about each other & wantto sustain a good relationship. Win-win style is usually the best choice. 33. we are emphasized the importanceof honoring yourself ,others, andrelationship.Its important to keep all three inbalance, especially when conflict arise. 34. Grace is sometimes appropriate .Grace is granting forgiveness or puttingaside our own needs when there is nostandard that says we should or must doso. grace is not forgiving when weshould (for instance , excusing peoplewho arent responsible for their actions. 35. THANK YOU !