managing conflict overview & preparation - gap inc. way ahead workshops...practice resolving...

1© 2011 Gap Inc. All rights reserved. Use and reproduction of materials prohibited without prior permission of Gap Inc.

Objectives

The goal of this module is to introduce conflict to your audience as a natural occurrence based on a variety of factors that can and should end positively. Throughout the workshop, you will look at reasons for conflict, different ways to respond to conflict, and, in some cases, how to prevent it. You should feel free to share how you have used various techniques to resolve your own conflicts. This session is not about physical conflict. The participants will have time to practice these new skills and build their confidence in their ability to remain calm during times of conflict. This session builds directly from Decisions, Decisions and you can make connections here to add emphasis.

As the facilitator you will help guide the participants through the following objectives:

� Identify reasons for conflict

� Understand different ways to respond to conflict

� Practice resolving conflict & build confidence in managing conflict

Managing cOnflict

overview & preparation

2 © 2011 Gap Inc. All rights reserved. Use and reproduction of materials prohibited without prior permission of Gap Inc.

Material # of Copies Owner

Brainstorm Solutions worksheet

Enough for every participant

Provided as master sheet to be photocopied by community partner staff

Chart pad One pad Provided by community partner

Loose paper for thoughts Enough for every participant

Provided by community partner

Chart pad 1. On the first page, write the objectives of the workshop.

2. On the second page, write the heading Different Ways to Respond to Conflict. (You will add the four ways to respond, Ground Rules, Communication, Solutions, and Agreement, throughout the workshop.)

3. On the third page, write the heading Ground Rules to capture these solicited from the group during this discussion in the workshop.

Materials required

required On-site preparatiOn


0:00 — intrOductiOn (10 Mins)

Introduce yourself & others, describe your own work history.

Introduce definition of conflict and conflict resolution.

Introduce why it’s important to discuss as it relates to job readiness.

Discuss parameters for addressing conflict, i.e. not on the sales floor, not to take it personally with customers, etc.

Review list of Objectives on chart pad and elaborate.

0:10 — identify reasOns fOr cOnflict (15 Mins)

Identify the concept of needs and values and how when they are threatened, conflict arises.

Discuss benefits of conflict resolution.

Conduct activity to reflect on conflict situation from the past.

0:25 — understand different Ways tO respOnd tO cOnflict (50 Mins)

Introduce concept of ground rules and create rules for group.

Introduce communication as an important piece to conflict resolution, also address active listening and body language.

Lead discussion on ways to deal with anger and refer to booklet with ideas.

Discuss solutions as a way to create resolution.

Conduct activity to brainstorm solutions in scenario with a sales associate and her manager.

Introduce the concept of reaching an agreement with the two parties in conflict.

Managing cOnflict

agenda


1:15 — practice! (20 Mins)

Refer participants to their booklet, to read about a conflict scenario.

Ask participants to role-play first without the new skills and debrief after about 5 minutes. Then ask participants to role-play with the new skills.

Bring the group back together and debrief after about 10 minutes.

1:35 — suMMary and clOse (10 Mins)

Summarize what was learned today about conflict resolution.

Ask questions and solicit responses about all things covered in today’s workshop.

Thank the group and close.


0:00 — WelcOMe and intrOductiOn tO Managing cOnflict (5-10 Mins)

Say: “Welcome to Managing Conflict! “

Introduce yourself, co-facilitators, and any observers. Share with the group the store you work in and how long you’ve been employed with Gap Inc. If you are comfortable, share your work history, what kind of work you’ve done, how you got from job to job, etc.

Say: “OK, let’s get started!”

Ask: “When you think of conflict, what definitions come to mind?”

Pause for at least 15 seconds, to let young people think. Wait for responses before offering your own. Examples: disagreement, different points of view, fighting, arguing, tension.

Ask: “So what is conflict resolution?

Solicit responses – then share definition below...

Say: “Conflict resolution is about teaching people new ways to work through and resolve differences. Today we will explore conflict and ways to practice resolving conflict in productive ways with peers, a supervisor or customers in the workplace.”

Make it clear that this session is not in any way about physical conflict.

Ask: “Why is it important for us to discuss conflict resolution as we think about job readiness?”

Pause for at least 15 seconds, to let young people think. Wait for responses before offering your own. Possible answers: conflict can happen at work, con-flict can be cause for getting into trouble, in order to keep a job conflict will need to be managed and resolved.

Say: “Let’s talk about this... why do we need to be prepared to deal with conflict as we think about going to work? Conflict can be the source of many prob-lems and it can get in the way of success. Getting along with different people, respecting and listening to a boss whom you do not necessarily like, talking with customers who might be asking for things you cannot provide, there are all sorts of reasons why conflict may come up.”

Managing cOnflict

script


Explain that it’s important to be comfortable with conflict so that it doesn’t drive you away from a tough situation. Working through conflict is important for you to be successful in achieving your goals.

Say: “You may be asked to work hours that conflict with things outside of work that you would rather do. You may be asked to work with people who are different than you. You may be asked to do things you don’t like to do, and all these things could possibly cause conflict. The key to success in these situations, especially at work, is to learn to not be afraid of conflict and find ways to resolve the conflict.”

Say: “Conflict does arise in the workplace. It can happen for many different reasons, either between employees or between customers and employees. Employees may have conflict because someone feels they are being treated unfairly by a manager, or that some employees get in trouble for being late from a break and others do not. Conflict may arise because one employee is getting scheduled for more hours than someone else, or someone is getting to work on a special project and another employee is asked to perform routine tasks, such as taking out the trash or restocking the bags.“

Explain that conflict with customers can be very sensitive. In most situations, any retail company is going to try to satisfy the customer. Bending rules and breaking policies are usually reasons why customers become upset. For exam-ple, a customer might want to leave something on hold for more than 48 hours, and the policy is to only hold items for 24 hours. Or a customer might want an exception to be made about returning a piece of merchandise for which they don’t have a receipt.

Say: “In any of these typical situations, whether it is conflict between employ-ees or between a customer and an employee it’s really important to remember that it’s absolutely not acceptable to argue in front of customers or with a customer. Even if the customer is being rude to you, you are to remain calm and not become rude in return. If a situation cannot be resolved with a respect-ful conversation, then a manager needs to be involved.”

Explain that if you experience conflict with a co-worker, and you feel you can-not address it alone, then ask for a manager to help. Explain how important it is that you must not try to resolve it on the sales floor in front of customers. It is very unprofessional and creates a very bad shopping experience for customers.

Say: “If you experience conflict with a manager, try to find time when you are not on the sales floor to address it. Ask if you can speak with a manager on a break or after your shift is over. Solving conflict situations with fellow employ-ees needs to be handled in privacy.”

Ask: “Does this make sense? Why do you think it’s important not to fight with a co-worker or a customer?”

Solicit responses.


Say: “Before we begin, it’s important to review what our objectives are.”

Read Objectives out loud or ask for volunteers to read. • Identify reasons for conflict • Understand different ways to respond to conflict • Practice resolving conflict & build confidence in managing conflict

Ask: “What questions do you have?”

Answer any questions the group may have.

Say: “Let’s begin!”

0:10 — identify reasOns fOr cOnflict (15 Mins)

Say : “One of our first objectives is to understand reasons for conflict. Conflict is all about people—your peers, customers, managers, teachers—and where there are people there is bound to be conflict. Simply put, conflict happens when our needs and values are threatened, or when two people or parties have differences. Needs can be defined as what we need to feel secure and respected. They are things like having enough money to buy food, or wanting to be respected for who you are. Values can be defined as our beliefs, our mor-als or how we feel about others.”

Explain that when we are in a situation where we have to defend ourselves, conflict can develop. No two people ever have the same life experience, so we ultimately have different sets of needs and values that guide our decisions and behavior. Conflict between people that goes unresolved has a negative impact on relationships, morale, cooperation, productivity and often times, your own health, believe it or not!

Say: “It is important to remember that conflict is a normal occurrence, it is how we choose to handle conflicts that will determine whether it has a positive or negative outcome.“

Say: “Some of the benefits of conflict resolution can include successful prob-lem-solving, building team work, and strengthened relationships. Conflicts are not always monumental. They can range from mild disagreements to hostile confrontations with lots of anger. We’ll talk about ways to deal with anger later in the session as this is a way to keep conflict from escalating and becoming a larger problem than necessary.”

Say: “Because conflict is so closely tied to our needs and values, I’d like for each of you to take a moment and think about your own needs and values. Take a few minutes and write down some of your key needs or values.”

Check for understanding here, maybe ask for some examples. Some examples might be: the need to be respected as a female, having enough money to care for and feed younger siblings, being honest, feeling equal to peers and being treated fairly.


Say: “Let’s do an experiential activity. Think back to a situation where you were confronted with conflict. What might you guess was the need or value being threatened in your situation? Some questions you might ask yourself are: • How did the conflict begin? • How did it escalate? • What were you thinking and feeling at the time? • What were your triggers?”

Say: “As you think back to a previous conflict you’ve been involved in, also be aware of the physical feeling you experience. Some examples of this might be an increased heart rate or sweaty palms. Notice what else you might experience.”

Give the group a few minutes to think about their own experiences with con-flict. Check in with them after a few minutes to see if anyone is having trouble thinking of their own personal values and needs. Help individuals. If neces-sary brainstorm what they value about their friends as a way to trigger their own values (often what we value in others is a reflection of our own values). Allow youth to add comments to their notes from earlier if helpful. This is not mandatory.

Ask: “Has everyone had enough time to think about a personal situation?” Could we have a volunteer role play a personal situation as an example?”

0:25 — different Ways tO respOnd: grOund rules (10 Mins)

Say: “Conflicts and disagreements are a part of life, but they do not have to be a negative experience. There are ways to deal with conflict and manage differ-ences in needs and values with a positive outcome. Conflict can cause tension and anger, and by learning ways to deal with conflict, we can be much more productive and live healthier lives.”

Explain that learning how to deal with conflict will help you succeed in all that you do, whether it is in school, with your family or friends, or in the workplace.

Say: “Let’s begin learning more about different ways to respond to conflict. And what better way than to put a practice into action...”

Ask: “Has anyone heard of ground rules?”

Take responses from the participants and check for understanding. If no one has heard of ground rules, continue on with a definition...

Say: “Ground rules are guidelines that two or more people develop to help each other determine how to act. For example, listening to each other without inter-rupting. To be effective, ground rules must be clear, consistent, agreed-to, and followed.”

Explain that ground rules are a way to hold each other accountable for behav-ing within the guidelines so it will be less likely that conflict will develop. Ground rules can actually prevent conflict!

Say: “Let’s brainstorm together some ground rules for the rest of our time together today.”


Solicit responses from group.

Capture on flipchart.

Say: “OK, now that we have a list of ground rules, can we all agree to behave within these rules? Please let me see a show of hands if you are willing to agree to these ground rules. “

Say: “Remember, ground rules are only as effective as we make them. They must be followed by all members of the group, or if you are creating ground rules with a partner in an individual relationship, such as with a supervisor in your workplace, then both people must agree to respect and follow the set of ground rules. OK, so our first step towards conflict resolution is setting ground rules to reduce the likelihood of conflict ever developing.”

List Ground Rules on the second flipchart under the heading Different Ways to Respond to Conflict, and add sequentially the next three topics—Communication, Solutions, Agreement—as the discussion continues.

Say: “OK, let’s move on to some additional techniques in responding to conflict!”

0:35 — different Ways tO respOnd: cOMMunicatiOn (15 Mins)

Say: “Communication, although may seem like a very simple thing, is one of the most important pieces in conflict resolution. Two helpful tips for communi-cation in a conflict situation are: • active listening, and • body language.”

Add Communication to flipchart under Ground Rules.

Say: “Active listening allows each person to describe his or her point of view with interrupting them. If we are not interrupted, we are more likely to feel heard, which in turn allows us to feel respected.”

Explain that the goal in active listening, especially in conflict resolution is to understand what a person wants and why they want it. Body language is also an important part of communication.

Ask: “What do think might be effective body language when you are in a conflict situation?”

Some examples are:

• maintain eye contact with the person you are in conflict with • respect personal space and don’t stand too close to the person you are in conflict with • keep arms relaxed at sides, folding your arms can give the impression of defensiveness or not listening


Say: “Being self aware is critical when in a conflict situation. Knowing what you are likely to do in advance will help you avoid falling into negative body language or verbal responses. When we are communicating in a conflict situation, we must also learn to deal with anger. Anger is a natural emotion which surfaces when our needs or values are at stake. Let’s talk about some ways to deal with anger.”

Say: “Some people choose to ignore or bottle up anger, but this approach may actually cause more harm because the root problem is never addressed. Instead, try to manage anger so it can become a more positive emotion.”

Ask: “What are some ideas about how to manage anger? What do you do when you’re angry?”

Solicit responses from the group and reference participants to the Ways to Deal with Anger tips in their participant guide and lead discussion about the information.

relax. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm (your belly, not your chest) and slowly repeat a calming word or phrase like “take it easy.” Think of relaxing experiences.

think positively. Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you, but rather you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life.

communicate with others. Angry people tend to jump to conclusions. Slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. At times, criticism may actually be useful to you.

Manage stress. Make sure to set aside personal time to deal with the daily stresses of school, activities, and family. Ideas include listening to music, writing in a journal, and exercising.

change the scene. Maybe a change of environment would help reduce angry feelings. For example, if your friends are angry frequently and/or make you angry, consider making some new ones who may contribute more to your self-confidence and well-being.

You may need to change the scene in the middle of conflict. Being able to walk away from a situation and let things go can give you the time you need to ensure a better outcome. Depending on the situation you may want to reach out to someone for additional support.

Ask: “Who could you reach out to here (nonprofit organization) that could help you in a conflict situation?”

Solicit responses. Possible answers are coaches, counselors, peer advisors.

Ask: “If you were working in a store who could you reach out to in a conflict situation?”

Solicit responses. Possible answers are managers/supervisors, HR.

Say: “OK, let’s move on to solutions!”


0:50 — different Ways tO respOnd: sOlutiOns (10-15 Mins)

Say: “A healthy way to reach resolution in a conflict situation is to brainstorm possible solutions to a problem. The important thing to remember in this is to list all options without judging them or feeling that they must be carried out. Try to think of solutions where everyone gains something.”

Add Solutions to Ground Rules flipchart.

Say: “This is a very collaborative approach, and when individuals use this style of response to conflict, needs and goals are respected in the relationship. Let’s practice what we’ve talked about so far with an example.”

Say: “Please choose a partner whom you don’t know very well. I would like you to read a scenario and work with your partner to brainstorm different solutions to the problem. The other thing I would like you to think about is your own conflict situation that you reflected upon at the beginning of our time together. Think back to those physical feelings you felt in your own conflict to help this scenario come to life. What were those uncomfortable physical feelings you experienced? Let this help motivate you and your partner to brainstorm as many solutions as you can think of to help address this conflict situation. “

Distribute Brainstorm Solutions scenario to each student. Allow them to read it and give an opportunity to ask questions before you give them 5-10 minutes to create a list of possible solutions.

Ask the group to come back together and solicit responses about some possible solutions. Capture responses on flipcharts.

Ask: “How was that? Were you all able to think about different ways the conflict Cindy had with Timothy and her work schedule?”

Ask: “What questions or thoughts do you have about brainstorming solutions in conflict situations?”

Address any questions.

Say: “OK, let’s move on to agreements!”

1:10 — different Ways tO respOnd: agreeMent (5 Mins)

Say: “Possibly one of the most important pieces to resolving conflict is reaching an agreement with the person or parties you are in conflict with. In this part of the process, each person should state his or her interpretation of the agree-ment. You may even want to write the agreement down and check back at a later time to see how it is working.”

Add Agreement to Solutions flipchart.

Explain that in effective conflict resolution, it’s critical to work toward closure by reaching an agreement. Plan for the future and focus on the relationship or the situation moving forward. Often times, it is a good idea to express value in the relationship as well as in the result. Remember, we are all people with needs and values and when we are not sensing any threat, we can be much more productive.


1:15 — practice! (15-20 Mins)

Say: “OK, so let’s put all these skills into use. The best way to get comfort-able with what we’ve just discussed is to practice! I’ll ask that you each find a partner again, preferably someone different and/or someone you don’t know well. First, I’d like you to try and ignore the skills you’ve just learned and act out the situation without the new skills in mind and then, you will recall all the skills you’ve just learned and act out the situation in a more productive and effective way with your new skills!”

Say: “In your booklet, you will find three more scenarios. Pick one and act out with your partner. I would like you to spend the first few minutes role-playing the scenario without any of the new skills in mind. Act out the scenario forget-ting everything we just talked about. I’ll give you 5 minutes and then ask you to stop and we’ll come back together as a group to discuss.”

Give the group about 5 minutes and ask them to stop and give you their attention.

Ask: “How did that go? What did you notice about your approach? Did you reach a desirable outcome? Did it work or was it unsettling?”

Solicit responses from the group and lead a discussion with the above questions.

Say: “OK, now that we’ve had a chance to calm down, let’s try it again and I’d like you to approach the situation with the new skills in mind. Think about all the different ways to respond to conflict and act out the situation with your new skills. Try to use all or some assortment of the skills we’ve discussed.”

Give the group about 7-10 minutes and ask them to stop and give you their attention.

Ask: “How did that go? What did you notice about your approach? Did you reach a desirable outcome? Did it work or was it unsettling?”

Solicit responses from the group and lead a discussion with the above questions.

1:35 — suMMary, validate cOnfidence in Managing cOnflict (10 Mins)

Say: “We talked about a lot of things today as it relates to conflict resolution. Let’s review...”

Ask: “What is conflict?”

Solicit responses. Some examples might be: disagreement, different points of view, fighting, arguing, tension

Ask: “What is conflict resolution?”

Solicit responses and review definition, if necessary. Conflict resolution is teach-ing ourselves new ways to work through and resolve differences.

Ask: “What are some effective ways to respond to conflict?”


Solicit responses. Some examples might be: establish ground rules, communication, get agreements, etc.

Ask: “What are some ways to deal with anger in a conflict situation?”

Solicit responses. Some examples might be: relax, think positive, communicate with others

Ask: “How can our body language effect our communication?”

Solicit responses.

Ask: “What is effective body language while communicating in a conflict situation?”

Solicit responses. Some examples might be: maintain eye contact, respect personal space, keep arms relaxed

Ask: “Why is it important to brainstorm many different solutions in conflict resolution?”

Solicit responses.

Ask: “Do you all feel a bit more comfortable with conflict resolution?”

Solicit responses.

Ask: “How might you prevent a conflict situation from becoming too difficult?”

Solicit responses.

Ask: “What might you do differently the next time you find yourself in a conflict situation?”

Solicit responses.

1:45 — Wrap up (1 Min)

Thank group. Explain that conflicts may arise quickly and all strategies discussed here won’t apply. Share that the most important thing to note is that healthy conflict leads to improved practices. Today’s session was a start to building those for yourself. Close.

Relax

Breathe deeply from your diaphragm (your belly, not

your chest) and slowly repeat a calming word or phrase

like “take it easy.” Think of relaxing experiences, such as

sitting on a beach or walking through a forest.

Think positively

Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you,

but rather you’re just experiencing some of the rough

spots of daily life.

communicate with others

Angry people tend to jump to conclusions. Slow down

and think carefully about what you want to say. Listen

carefully to what the other person is saying. At times,

criticism may actually be useful to you.

waYS TO dEaL wITh aNGER

Manage stress

Make sure to set aside personal time to deal with the

daily stresses of school, activities, and family. Ideas

include:

• Listening to music

• Writing in a journal

• Exercising

• Meditating

• Talking about your feelings with someone you trust.

change the scene

Maybe a change of environment would help reduce

angry feelings. For example, if your friends are angry

frequently and/or make you angry, consider making

some new ones who may contribute more to your

self-confidence and well-being.

Other ideas:

Relax

Breathe deeply from your diaphragm (your belly, not

your chest) and slowly repeat a calming word or phrase

like “take it easy.” Think of relaxing experiences, such as

sitting on a beach or walking through a forest.

Think positively

Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you,

but rather you’re just experiencing some of the rough

spots of daily life.

communicate with others

Angry people tend to jump to conclusions. Slow down

and think carefully about what you want to say. Listen

carefully to what the other person is saying. At times,

criticism may actually be useful to you.

waYS TO dEaL wITh aNGER

Other ideas:

Managing Conflict 1 / 5

Manage stress

Make sure to set aside personal time to deal with the

daily stresses of school, activities, and family. Ideas

include:

• Listening to music

• Writing in a journal

• Exercising

• Meditating

• Talking about your feelings with someone you trust.

change the scene

Maybe a change of environment would help reduce

angry feelings. For example, if your friends are angry

frequently and/or make you angry, consider making

some new ones who may contribute more to your

self-confidence and well-being.

Cindy, a new sales associate in a retail store, receives her schedule of hours on Tuesday for the following week. The

first shift she is scheduled to work is on Monday from 3pm – 9pm. When she was hired, she told her manager that

she has school every day from 4pm – 8pm and that she could work during the day or on weekends. She is quite upset

to see her schedule and knows that she will either have to skip school or tell her manager that she cannot work. She

immediately thinks of the money she would earn by working, but also knows that she cannot miss school because she

has a paper due.

Cindy becomes angry at her manager for not remembering her school schedule and begins to feel really upset about

the situation. Cindy immediately approaches her manager and tells him that she cannot work the schedule he has given

to her. Timothy, the manager, explains to Cindy that being a new employee she needs to be able to keep track of her

hours and manage her school and work schedule. This makes Cindy even more angry and she wonders what to do!

Questions:

Using the techniques we have discussed today, what could Cindy have done before she received her schedule of hours?

Think about what we’ve discussed today and what are some solutions that Cindy could use to resolve her conflict with

her schedule? With her manager?

BRaINSTORM SOLUTIONS ScENaRIO

BRaINSTORM SOLUTIONS ScENaRIO


Cindy, a new sales associate in a retail store, receives her schedule of hours on Tuesday for the following week. The

first shift she is scheduled to work is on Monday from 3pm – 9pm. When she was hired, she told her manager that

she has school every day from 4pm – 8pm and that she could work during the day or on weekends. She is quite upset

to see her schedule and knows that she will either have to skip school or tell her manager that she cannot work. She

immediately thinks of the money she would earn by working, but also knows that she cannot miss school because she

has a paper due.

Cindy becomes angry at her manager for not remembering her school schedule and begins to feel really upset about

the situation. Cindy immediately approaches her manager and tells him that she cannot work the schedule he has given

to her. Timothy, the manager, explains to Cindy that being a new employee she needs to be able to keep track of her

hours and manage her school and work schedule. This makes Cindy even more angry and she wonders what to do!

Questions:

Using the techniques we have discussed today, what could Cindy have done before she received her schedule of hours?

Think about what we’ve discussed today and what are some solutions that Cindy could use to resolve her conflict with

her schedule? With her manager?

Employee:

Jack, a stock associate in a retail store, is doing his job of bringing out merchandise from the stock room to replenish

merchandise on the sales floor. He is rudely interrupted by his manager Peggy to help with a customer, taking him

away from his task. Jack becomes very annoyed at this request, because once he is done with his task of replenishing

the merchandise on the sales floor, he can go home. He thinks that Peggy should help the customer because she is

the manager and the customer will have to go back to Peggy to complete his transaction anyway. Jack tries to ignore

Peggy’s request and when she asks him a second time, he says that he is busy doing his own job and thinks that she

should help the customer.

Manager:

Peggy, the associate store manager, is helping a customer at the cash register. The customer had purchased the

incorrect size and has come back to exchange the item for the correct size. There is a line at the cash register, so Peggy

would like to continue helping the customers in line who are waiting to purchase merchandise. She interrupts Jack from

his task and asks him to help the customer find the correct size. When Jack ignores her and then refuses to help the

customer, Peggy is not happy at all with Jack’s unprofessional behavior and is angry with his attitude, so she asks him to

please go back to the stockroom immediately and she will be back in a minute to discuss the issue.

Role-play the conversation that will take place as a result of the conflict.

Remember, you’ll first try to ignore the skills you’ve just learned and act out the situation without the new skills in mind

and then, you will recall all the skills you’ve just learned and act out the situation in a more productive and effective way

with your new skills!

Employee:

Jack, a stock associate in a retail store, is doing his job of bringing out merchandise from the stock room to replenish

merchandise on the sales floor. He is rudely interrupted by his manager Peggy to help with a customer, taking him

away from his task. Jack becomes very annoyed at this request, because once he is done with his task of replenishing

the merchandise on the sales floor, he can go home. He thinks that Peggy should help the customer because she is

the manager and the customer will have to go back to Peggy to complete his transaction anyway. Jack tries to ignore

Peggy’s request and when she asks him a second time, he says that he is busy doing his own job and thinks that she

should help the customer.

Manager:

Peggy, the associate store manager, is helping a customer at the cash register. The customer had purchased the

incorrect size and has come back to exchange the item for the correct size. There is a line at the cash register, so Peggy

would like to continue helping the customers in line who are waiting to purchase merchandise. She interrupts Jack from

his task and asks him to help the customer find the correct size. When Jack ignores her and then refuses to help the

customer, Peggy is not happy at all with Jack’s unprofessional behavior and is angry with his attitude, so she asks him to

please go back to the stockroom immediately and she will be back in a minute to discuss the issue.



and then, you will recall all the skills you’ve just learned and act out the situation in a more productive and effective way

with your new skills!

PRacTIcE cONFLIcT ScENaRIO



Student:

Natasha, a high school student, is trying to get extra credit for participation in Mrs. Flynn’s science class. She needs this

extra boost to pass. She has had a lot going on in her personal life and let her Science homework slip. She finally got to

study last night and she wants to make up for lost time. She’s raised her hand for every question and Mrs. Flynn keeps

ignoring her. Natasha has always thought Mrs. Flynn didn’t like her anyway. Finally, the next question comes and Natasha

calls out the answer. Why wait, if she wasn’t going to call on her anyway? Natasha really needs this extra credit. Mrs. Flynn

finally calls on Natasha…..to tell her to go to the hallway where they can have a private talk about her calling out answers.

Teacher:

Mrs. Flynn, the 11th and 12th grade science teacher, is trying to get the class ready for their test on Friday. Natasha, a

bright student who is not working to her full potential and can be disruptive, continues to wave her hand wildly at each

question. Natasha has not turned her homework in for 3 weeks straight and is in danger of failing. Mrs. Flynn is really

upset about this because she knows that Natasha can do the work and wonders if she is just being lazy. The last time

she behaved this way it was to distract the class from making progress and everyone got out of control. This test is

important and Mrs. Flynn can’t have the class off track. She will talk to Natasha later to see what’s going on. Just then, at

the next question, Natasha calls out the answer loudly not raising her hand, and causing everyone to start laughing and

shaking their heads. This is just the kind of outburst the class does not need. That’s it. Mrs. Flynn needs to let Natasha

know she has had enough and tells her to go to the hallway for a heart to heart.



and then, you will recall all of the skills you just learned and act out the situation in a more productive way with your new

skills.

Student:

Natasha, a high school student, is trying to get extra credit for participation in Mrs. Flynn’s science class. She needs this

extra boost to pass. She has had a lot going on in her personal life and let her Science homework slip. She finally got to

study last night and she wants to make up for lost time. She’s raised her hand for every question and Mrs. Flynn keeps

ignoring her. Natasha has always thought Mrs. Flynn didn’t like her anyway. Finally, the next question comes and Natasha

calls out the answer. Why wait, if she wasn’t going to call on her anyway? Natasha really needs this extra credit. Mrs. Flynn

finally calls on Natasha…..to tell her to go to the hallway where they can have a private talk about her calling out answers.

Teacher:

Mrs. Flynn, the 11th and 12th grade science teacher, is trying to get the class ready for their test on Friday. Natasha, a

bright student who is not working to her full potential and can be disruptive, continues to wave her hand wildly at each

question. Natasha has not turned her homework in for 3 weeks straight and is in danger of failing. Mrs. Flynn is really

upset about this because she knows that Natasha can do the work and wonders if she is just being lazy. The last time

she behaved this way it was to distract the class from making progress and everyone got out of control. This test is

important and Mrs. Flynn can’t have the class off track. She will talk to Natasha later to see what’s going on. Just then, at

the next question, Natasha calls out the answer loudly not raising her hand, and causing everyone to start laughing and

shaking their heads. This is just the kind of outburst the class does not need. That’s it. Mrs. Flynn needs to let Natasha

know she has had enough and tells her to go to the hallway for a heart to heart.



and then, you will recall all of the skills you just learned and act out the situation in a more productive way with your new

skills.




Younger Brother:

Nathan, a 17 year old student, has been working hard to get ready for college and have a little spending money. In

addition to after school activities, he works part time at the mall. Nathan saves almost every dime he makes, but he

splurges every week on one DVD. He has a huge collection that he is really proud of displaying in his room. Nathan’s

older brother Pete has been watching his DVDs and leaving them all over the house. He doesn’t put them back where

they belong and last night, Pete broke two DVDs he had left on the floor. To make matters worse, he didn’t apologize or

anything. He said, “I’ll replace them, what’s the big deal?” Nathan was so tired he went straight to bed, but as soon as he

gets home from school he is going to have it out with Pete.

Older Sibling:

Pete, Nathan’s 26 year old brother, has recently moved back home after losing his job. He is having trouble finding

work and enjoys watching DVDs after going on his interviews during the day. His little brother has a great collection

and always has the latest titles. Nathan is really proud of how hard his brother is working and that he has everything all

planned out. While looking over some of Nathan’s titles he accidently pulled the DVD player off the shelf and broke 2 of

them. Pete felt terrible and knows he has to replace them. Nathan came home and Pete, feeling really bad, tried to make

light of the situation by saying it was no big deal. Pete was shocked by Nathan’s anger and by the way Nathan stormed

off to his room.


Remember, you’ll first try to ignore the skills you’ve just learned and act out the situation without the new skills in mind and

then, you will recall all of the skills you just learned and act out the situation in a more productive way with your new skills.




Younger Brother:

Nathan, a 17 year old student, has been working hard to get ready for college and have a little spending money. In

addition to after school activities, he works part time at the mall. Nathan saves almost every dime he makes, but he

splurges every week on one DVD. He has a huge collection that he is really proud of displaying in his room. Nathan’s

older brother Pete has been watching his DVDs and leaving them all over the house. He doesn’t put them back where

they belong and last night, Pete broke two DVDs he had left on the floor. To make matters worse, he didn’t apologize or

anything. He said, “I’ll replace them, what’s the big deal?” Nathan was so tired he went straight to bed, but as soon as he

gets home from school he is going to have it out with Pete.

Older Sibling:

Pete, Nathan’s 26 year old brother, has recently moved back home after losing his job. He is having trouble finding

work and enjoys watching DVDs after going on his interviews during the day. His little brother has a great collection

and always has the latest titles. Nathan is really proud of how hard his brother is working and that he has everything all

planned out. While looking over some of Nathan’s titles he accidently pulled the DVD player off the shelf and broke 2 of

them. Pete felt terrible and knows he has to replace them. Nathan came home and Pete, feeling really bad, tried to make

light of the situation by saying it was no big deal. Pete was shocked by Nathan’s anger and by the way Nathan stormed

off to his room.


Remember, you’ll first try to ignore the skills you’ve just learned and act out the situation without the new skills in mind and

then, you will recall all of the skills you just learned and act out the situation in a more productive way with your new skills.


Objectives

This module focuses on the importance of making the right decisions and provides students a model to use. Based on the experience level of the group, some of the examples may be more difficult than others. It is critical to the success of the module to use comments and feedback to support the Decide Model and help participants understand the importance of using it going forward. At the end of this session, your audience should leave understanding that decisions can have long term and long reaching consequences. Using the model can be helpful for the young person’s future.

� Reveal natural decision making process through an activity.

� Understand DECIDE decision making model.

� Practice decision making model using realistic scenarios.

� Connect decision making process to successful achievement of future goals.

DecisiONs, DecisiONs!

overview & preparation


Material # of Copies Owner

Yellow & green paper Several sheets Provided by and cut up into strips by community partner staff

Chart pad One pad Provided by community partner

DECIDE worksheet One copy per participant

Provided as a master sheet to be photocopied by community partner staff

Decision Deck About 20 scenarios Provided as a master sheet to be photocopies and cut up by community partner staff

Intention card Extra copies Provided in participant guide. Extra copies to be made by community partner staff

Chart pad 1. On one chart paper, write the Objectives of the workshop

2. On two chart papers, write Community Cash—$100,000

Intention statement Write an intention to read aloud to the group. You do not need to provide a copy.

Yellow & green strips of paper

Hand out to participants as they enter, alternating between colors

materials requireD

requireD ON-site preparatiON


0:00 — iNtrODuctiON (5 miNs)

Introduce yourself & others

0:05 — activity: cOmmuNity cash, speND it fast! (25 miNs)

Participants will be divided into two groups at the start of this module using yellow and green strips of paper. Alternate between colors for each participant as they enter session with yellow at one table and green at another.

Reveal basic decision making process through activity.

0:30 — review DeciDe mODel (20 miNs)

Review model and worksheet.

0:50 — activity: DecisiON Deck (40 miNs)

Participants will form a standing circle for Decision Deck activity.

Participants will get at least 1 opportunity to respond to a situation using the DECIDE model.

1:30 — clOse/iNteNtiON statemeNt (30 miNs)

Participants reflect on learnings by writing an intention statement and sharing statement out loud with group.

Thank participants and close.


agenda


0:00 — welcOme / iNtrODuctiON Of the DecisiON makiNg supplemeNt (5 miNs)

Say: “Welcome to the Decisions, Decisions workshop. My name is _________ and I am your facilitator for this program.”

Introduce yourself, co-facilitators, and any observers.

Review ground rules set for the group

Review Objectives out loud or ask for volunteers to read • Reveal natural decision making process through an activity • Understand the DECIDE decision making model • Practice decision making model using realistic scenarios • Connect decision making process to successful achievement of future goals

Use your own words—

Explain that making the right decision is not always an easy thing to do and can affect many other areas in life than the one problem the decision was focused on.

Explain that this is a hands on workshop with many opportunities to practice and receive feedback. The goal is for them to walk out at the end of the session willing to give the DECIDE model a try.

Acknowledge that even with a process to make good decisions, a bad decision can and will happen. Being able to learn from those mishaps and a willingness to try things differently in the future can make a big difference. Make the con-nection that this is similar to the other modules in that each tool is something else to put in their toolkit and use and customize in ways that work best for them. Explain that these skills can be used at many different times, and with practice will become a natural part of the way you make decisions.

0:05 — activity: cOmmuNity cash! speND it fast! (25 miNs)

Say: “Let’s start with an activity. When you came in you were separated with the color strips. This is your team. The green team is here and the yellow team is here.”


script


Make sure the teams are equally divided. The activity is to gauge the natural decision making process of the youth. There are no winners or losers in this game. Do not let the participants know this as it could affect the decision making process.

Say: “Your team has just been given $100,000 to spend in your community! Wow!”

Act excited. Make them feel like they just got this wonderful news.

Say: “There’s a catch. You only have 10 minutes to decide what you are going to do with it. If you don’t all agree, you lose it all!”

Hand out a premade flipchart to each table to fill out during game. Remind youth that this is just a game and the money is fictional.

Using the flipchart, explain that the team should answer the questions listed. Where they will give the money? Who they will give it to? What will it be used for? Remind them that they must all agree.

Say: “OK. Now that you know what to do…you have 10 minutes! Start!”

You and your co-facilitator should listen during this session to determine what the decision making process is of the participants. Listen for participants that push their ideas, look for others that go along with the crowd. Are there any participants that question WHY the choices are being made? Keep this infor-mation in mind when debriefing the DECIDE model and the Decision Deck activity.

Call time. Allow each team 5 minutes to share the answers they posted on their charts. Post charts on wall for display.

0:30 — review DeciDe mODel (20 miNs)

Say: “I wish all decisions involved getting lots of money to spend. In reality, we make decisions all the time: what to wear in the morning, what to eat for lunch, to more serious decisions that can have lasting effects on our lives.”

Ask: “Can anyone give me an example of a more serious decision you may have to make?”

Allow for 1-2 responses and move on.

Say: “Thanks for sharing. Let’s role play one of these decisions to see how it took place.”

Say: “We are going to review a model that will help you make quality decisions even if the decision is a tough one to make. Sometimes we naturally follow a process or model and other times we move quickly to a decision based on other influences. If you noticed a participant naturally following these steps during the Community Cash activity, you can say so here.”

Direct participants to the DECIDE Worksheet.


Explain briefly the model. Follow the worksheet while checking in with par-ticipants to be sure they are following along and if they have any questions. Pause between each step and ask for understanding and examples. Use the Community Cash report out where appropriate in your explanations. Be sure to emphasize that the last step, Evaluate, is critical and often forgotten. You may want to use a personal example of when you have forgotten this crucial step, and how you benefitted from returning to the Evaluate step and reflecting on a decision that you made.

Say: “Now that we have reviewed the model. Take a minute and think of our starting activity. Is there anything you might do differently if given that oppor-tunity again?”

Allow for 1-2 responses and proceed to practice activity.

0:50 — activity: DecisiON Deck (40 miNs)

Begin by arranging all participants in a standing circle. Participants should bring a copy of the DECIDE worksheet to the circle activity . Read through all activity cards prior to the session to prepare for helping participants should they get stuck on a card. Participants will pick a card and respond immediately with their solution. Then, you’ll ask them to respond again, using the DECIDE model to check their thought process. When finished, instruct the card holder to pass the deck to someone that hasn’t yet taken a turn. If the group is small go through two rotations.

Say: “Let’s practice! When you get the deck of cards, pick the top card and read it out loud. Place your card at the bottom of the deck. Tell us the first response that comes to your mind. Then be ready to use your worksheet to review your decision.”

Hand the deck of cards to the participant on your right and start activity. Gauge how long each participant has based on the number of participants in your group. Other participants may comment on the situation. This dialogue is helpful to the process but needs to be managed to ensure each person gets time for their own scenario.

Help participants that get stuck by referring back to the model. The best decision may seem obvious the goal is to encourage using a systematic approach to making a decision not a gut reaction. Acknowledge that some of these situations are tricky and the immediate reaction to whatever decision is made can be much different.

Proceed to reflection and close. Have participants return to seats.


1:30 — iNteNtiON statemeNt writiNg (30 miNs)

Say: “There’s an old saying that goes, ‘when you know better, you should DO better.’ Knowing what to do is only the first step. For long term success and achieving your goals you must DO things differently as you add new skills. We’ve just reviewed a decision making model and some real life situations we could face. Based on what you know now, not only from today, but all of the other sessions as well, take a few minutes to think of something you intend to DO differently than you may have in the past.”

Refer students to Intention Statement workspace in Participant Guide.

Read your prepared intention statement to help students understand activity. Your intention statement should be based on the DECIDE model. Keep in mind that the students can make any intention statement based on all curriculum so far, not just this supplement.

Allow participants 5-7 minutes to write their intention statement. You can give prompts like “My name is __________and I intend to do ____differently because…..”to help the youth get started.

Ask: For a volunteer to stand and read their intention statement out loud. Thank participant and go to next volunteer until everyone has had a chance.

ALL students should participate. If someone refuses, do not insist. If what the youth wrote down as their intention statement is too personal they may come up with another statement to share. Follow up with the coaches to connect with participant and determine cause. This activity is meant to be a serious one. Some participants may struggle with standing up and speaking out and with the concept of making a change.

Allow them some time to get through it. Try not to rush their statements or make light of them. There is value in not committing as well. Ask the group or individual if they think their intentions are noteworthy? Was there value in actu-ally writing them down? Did they expect to really see a change based on what they committed to paper?

Thank students for their willingness to be open and share. Remind them to use the model, to give it a try. Wrap up and close.

describe problem

Examine options

create a list of pros and cons

I get to choose.

do it!

Evaluate your decision.

What is the best option? Why?

Now that you’ve made the decision take a few minutes to reflect on how things went and if any different action should have been taken.

describe problem

Examine options

create a list of pros and cons

I get to choose

do it!

Evaluate your decision

What exactly is the problem and who will be affected by my decision?

What are 2-3 different ways of handling this problem?

What good or bad things may happen based on how I handle this problem?

Choose the best option from your list.

You’ve thought it through, now make it happen!

Did things go as you planned? Is there something you would do differently?

dEcIdE! dEcISION MaKING MOdEL aNd wORKShEET

Making the right decision can be tough and requires thoughtfulness and planning. Use the following

model and worksheet to help you think through some tough decisions you are facing.

Option 1:

Option 2:

Option 3:

Option 1 pros:

Option 2 pros:

Option 3 pros:

Option 1 cons:

Option 2 cons:

Option 3 cons:

Need to DECIDE? Work it out!!

What went well? What would you do differently?

Decisions, Decisions 1 / 2

Your family has plans to go to the islands prior to the start of your employment. Your

parents have purchased plane tickets and have made all

arrangements. You start work during the week

of the planned trip.

Your best friend gives you money and says, “I like that blue sweater. Get it for me in a size

XL.”

During a break at work, you go to the restroom. You find

a pouch of cash that has over $5,000 inside of it.

Your favorite teacher knows that you work at a certain store. She

asks you for a discount.

A customer walks out of the store. You notice he leaves his

credit card at the register.

You’ve been eyeing a pair of jeans for awhile, hoping they

will go on sale. You have a party to go to this weekend and the jeans would look hot with your

outfit.

You know ahead of time that you have to pick up your sibling before your work shift. However,

the time to report to work is close to the time you have to

pick up your sibling.

Your best friend’s brother rushes into your house and says,

“if anyone asks if you’ve seen me, say no!” Five minutes later a policeman knocks on your door

asking for him.

Your sister had the same teacher in science last year. Sure enough, the tests are the same. She gives you the questions and

answers to the next test.

A friend asks you for a job recommendation. You know your boss would hire him on your word, but your friend doesn’t have a good track

record.

You are in the stock room alone at the end of the day. The beach

sandals your grandmother wants are in easy reach. The person checking bags at the employee entrance is your

buddy.

You know that you will probably be considered for a new position

if you exaggerate your work experiences on your application.

You really need the job.

A customer leaves a bag with her wallet in the fitting room.

You are running late for work. You know that your friend is already

at work. The manager is off-site. There is an opportunity to have

your friend clock in for you. You have a history of being late and

you want to make sure you don’t get another written notice.

You are hanging out with someone you really want to

get to know better. You’ve had a crush on him/her for a while. You finally get alone and he/

she suggests you smoke a joint together.

Decisions, Decisions 2 / 2

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