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Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work Relationships Work Relationships Prepared For Prepared For Montana State University November 3, 2010 Suzanne McCorkle Ph D Suzanne McCorkle, Ph.D.

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Page 1: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships

Prepared ForPrepared ForMontana State University

November 3, 2010

Suzanne McCorkle Ph DSuzanne McCorkle, Ph.D.

Page 2: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

What happens when conflictsWhat happens when conflicts are not managed well?

To the work group

?

To the individual

??

?

?

?

?

?? ?

Copyright McCorkle 2010 2

Page 3: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Causes of Conflict

Emotions

StyleInformation

Relationships Values

Substance

Copyright McCorkle 2010 3

Page 4: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Ab t d t Information Conflicts

•About data

•Misinformation

•Having different information

•Which data to use

•Not having enough information

•Withholding informationWithholding information

Copyright McCorkle 2010 4

Page 5: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Emotion conflicts •About feelings, ego, self-esteem, feelings

of entitlement

•Arise when other conflicts get too ripe

L d t ti ll thi ki•Lead to exceptionally narrow thinking

•Emotions short-circuit the ability to reason and to listen

Copyright McCorkle 2010 5

Page 6: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

V lValue

conflicts

•About deeply rooted beliefs and feelings

•Religion, politics, work ethicsReligion, politics, work ethics

•In some ways, easiest to manage in work context

Copyright McCorkle 2010 6

Page 7: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Relationship fli t

About who we are to each otherBoss/subordinate, working relationships

conflicts

Who has what authority?Are we friends?Can co-workers, students/professors have deep relationships?Do we have the same goals about ourDo we have the same goals about our relationship?

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About how to do things, how to communicate, which way to act is bestCommon with strong personalitiesFrequent cause of annoyancesCauses conflict when style difference is seen as obstruction

Style

conflictsconflicts

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Page 9: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

•About real or perceived scarce resources

•Money, time, space, equipment ….

•Amenable to regular problem solving once the issue is isolated

Substance conflicts

Copyright McCorkle 2010 9

Page 10: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Q i k Ch tQuick Chat

What about other people’s communication really irritates you?

Page 11: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

When styles clash, conflict often results.

Copyright McCorkle 2010 11

Page 12: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Common Style Differences•Meeting management style

•Single-taskers vs. multi-taskers

•Verbal conversational style•Verbal conversational style

Dialect

Rapport vs ReportRapport vs. Report

Pause Gap

•Personality styley y

•Conflict style

Escalators/Fractionators

General Conflict Style

•Cultural style

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Page 13: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

1 Competitors 3 Collaborators

What’s Your Conflict Style?

1. Competitors 3. Collaborators

2. Compromisers

5. Avoiders 4. Accommodators

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What are the Problems withWhat are the Problems with Relying on One Style?

?

??

?

??

Copyright McCorkle 2010 14

Page 15: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

What is the First Response toWhat is the First Response to Types of Conflict?

InformationEmotionEmotionSubstantiveV lValuesRelationship

Copyright McCorkle 2010 15

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Smart Negotiation

Recognize the positive power of multiple perspectives and stylesp p yAlways start with interests

Copyright McCorkle 2010 16

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Check Perception Differencesp

Perceptioni tis not

objective

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What do you see?y

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In Stress or ConflictIn Stress or Conflict…..•People revert to their basic style.

•Make Self-Serving evaluations.

“I am thoughtful; you take all day

and can’t make a decision ”and can’t make a decision.”

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Recognizing Perception DifferencesRecognizing Perception Differences is a Skill

Copyright McCorkle 2010 20

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Perception Differences Cause Misunderstandings: Make Negotiation HarderMisunderstandings: Make Negotiation Harder

Moral =

Copyright McCorkle 2010 21

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Quick Quiz: What’s Your Decision-Making Preference?Making Preference?

Long Term Short Term

Fact Gut

By the Book Just Do It

Slow FastSlow Fast

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Page 23: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

What’s Your Work Preference?What s Your Work Preference?Social Task-Oriented

Agenda Free-formAgenda Free form

A bl A t tiAgreeable Argumentative

Critical Creative

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What’s Your Cultural Style?

Loud Soft-spoken

Passionate Controlled

Confront Indirect

Say What You Think Concern for Other’s FeelingsSay What You Think Concern for Other s Feelings

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Go back and mark the style of your boss (or a co-worker). )

Are there style differences? IfAre there style differences? If unrecognized, do these differences make

negotiation harder?

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Quick Chat1 D h i ifi l1. Do you have a significant style

difference with a boss or co-worker?2. What can you do (mentally or in

discussion with the other) to preventthe style difference from hindering work happiness, productivity, or making negotiations more difficult?

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Smart Negotiation #2:Always Work From InterestsAlways Work From Interests

Positions and demands are on the Surface

Interests or needs lurk under the waterline

Working at the “position” level is inefficient and may

harm relationshipsCopyright McCorkle 2010 2727

harm relationships.

Page 28: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Conflict itself is normal.It is what we do during conflicts

that makes it beneficial orthat makes it beneficial or harmful.

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Page 29: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

Positive Responses to DifficultyPositive Responses to DifficultyUnderstand what to do first in each type of conflict.Give up being the center of the universe.Don’t “help” others improve their personal style.Understand how unrecognized perception differences can make conflict and negotiations crazy

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Page 31: Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork ... · PDF fileManaging Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships Prepared ForPrepared For Montana State

For Further General Reading g

Personal Conflict Management: Theory and Practice (textbook)

Edition: 1stAuthors: McCorkle Suzanne;Authors: McCorkle, Suzanne; Reese, Melanie J.ISBN10: 0205499880ISBN13: 9780205499885Format: PaperbackPub. Date: 1/1/2010Publisher: Allyn & Bacon

Available at your personal favorite on-line book purchasing site

Copyright McCorkle 2010 31

book purchasing site.