map by bach
DESCRIPTION
ieltsTRANSCRIPT
IELTS Writing
Written by Ngoc Bach Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0 Page 1
The maps below show how the town of Harborne changes from 1936 to 2007. Summarise the
information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
ANSWER:
IELTS Writing
Written by Ngoc Bach Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0 Page 2
The maps illustrate the transformation of a town called Harborne between
1936 and 2007.
Overall, the town became more developed with less natural beauty but an
extended residential area and more options for shopping and leisure activities
From 1936 to 2007, the river was filled in in order to make room for the
development of a residential area in the north eastern part of the city. The number
of trees located in the north west dropped from 3 to 1 tree in the 71 year period.
In the center of the town, there was a new shopping centre while the post
office, bank and library remained. The sweet shop and butchers were replaced with
a supermarket. Across from the post office, a travel agency was built right on the
site of where the flower shop used to be.The cycle path in the south west was
rebuilt to become a road. In the south east, the government office was converted
into a museum, the farmland next to that was turned into a golf course.
173 words
Written by Ngoc Bach
IELTS
Marking
Criteria
My comments Band
score
Task
achievement
This script is just right length for Task 1. Although
not essential, you could include a very brief
conclusion just to ‘round off’ the answer.
Your introduction paraphrases the question well
and you give a very clear overview of the changes
which have taken place.
Your answer focuses on all changes.
8.5
IELTS Writing
Written by Ngoc Bach Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0 Page 3
Cohesion and
coherence
There is a clear sense of progression and the
writing is logically organized. You use linkers well
and sentences are well constructed.
9.0
Lexical
resource
You use a wide range of vocabulary for describing
the maps and the changes. Meaning is clear.
8.5
Grammatical
range and
accuracy
I'm being very conservative; some examiners
would give a 9
8.5
This answer is a clear 8.5. Again the final score would depend on whether you get
a tough examiner or an easy one. Well done!