7/30/2019 Marital Woes Sms

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TEAM BMM PRESENTS!

MARITAL WOES SMS!

Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !

Different Phases of a man:After engagement: SupermanAfter Marriage: GentlemanAfter 10 years: WatchmanAfter 20 years: Doberman

There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only oneperfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

How Dogs and Women are alike?Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, and Both put toomuch value on kissing

The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everythingand the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Q: Why dogs don't marry?A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruoghhell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badalgarje, jor se barish start ho gayi.Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.

On Jeetos bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.

Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.

7/30/2019 Marital Woes Sms

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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continueto do so for the rest of your life!

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what unjoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)

What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman wholoves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair withhis secretary."Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"

Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken to me in six months.Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!

Doctor 2 husband: Tuhadi biwi te tuhada blood group same hai.Husband: Hovega kyon ni, 25-saal to mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!

Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?Wife: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Husband: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me."Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like

father!"Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?"

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."

Q: What is difference between watch & wife:?A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.

Santa: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

Doctor: U n ur wife have same blood group.

Husband: Yeh to hona hi tha 20 saal se me ra khoon jo pi rahi hai.

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!

Shaadi par wife boli: Aap mere PRANNATH aur mein apke CHARNO KI DASI.Shaadi ke baad wo ho gaya CHARANDAS aur wo hogayi PRANO KI PYASSI.