mcguffys news volume 5 issue 12
DESCRIPTION
McGuffys News Volume 5 Issue 12TRANSCRIPT
Brockville and1000 Islands
Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada! Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.comVO
L. 5
Is
sue
12Free!Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s Edition
To Advertise Contact Your Advertising SpecialistJon: 613 342 0428
State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company • State Farm Fire and Casualty Company, Aurora, Ontario1010094
Rick Beer, Agent522 King Street West
Brockville, ON K6V 3T2Bus: 613-342-9076
You save more than money when combining your auto and home insurance.
You save time.
100 FREE 8½ x11 B ⁄W CopiesSome conditions apply. See store for details. Offer expires May 31, 2011.
We Copy & Print• Colour Digital Printing & Photocopying• Document Finishing• Business Cards & Stationery Items• Large Format Printing• Flyers & Brochures• And so much more!
79 –163 Ormond StBrockville, ON K6V 7E6
Some conditions apply. See store for details. O�er expires March 31, 2012.
Early Spring Sale!EVERYTHING
IN
STOCK
SAVE
THE
HST
ON
Open: Tues to Fri 10 - 5, Sat 10 - 2www.DirectCabinets.ca
See Store for Details
For ALL your Cabinetry needs...613.865.7444
Visit our Showroom at4504 South Ave
(Hillcrest Plaza)Near Tincap
BerryFarm
SEE STORE FOR DETAILS!
The Shake That Tastes Like A Cake!
613-341-7846 [email protected]
Start Your 90 Day Challenge!
www.overview.visalus.com
ViSalus Independent Distributor
LOSE WEIGHTSAVE MONEY
9 minute oil change!No appointments!
And Warranty approved!Rust Proo�ng $79.99!
Snow Tires From 59.99!
613.342.3000103 Broome Road , Brockville ON
www.prooilchange.com
Snow Tire Installations Available!
Get With The PRO`sOpen 7 Days A Week
PORTABLE RENTAL SIGNS· FLEET TRUCKS· PAINT PROTECTION· HEAVY EQUIPMENT· SOLVENT PRINTING· VEHICLE STRIPES· REAL ESTATE SIGNS· ILLUMINATED SIGNS
PROFESSIONAL [email protected] FAX: 613-925-1556
SPECIALIZING IN: VEHICLE WRAPS
Single vision eyewearlenses & frames $129.00
or1 year supply $199.00Acuve advance plus
(free trial fitting included)
Townsman Ltd., BrokerageIndependently owned & operated 116 King Street W., Brockville, On
Helping You Make The Right Move!
Rick Burt C.E.T.Sales Representative
Direct: 613-498-7547O�ce:613-345-2121 ext 316
“Visit my listings!”www.c21burt.com
32 Oxford AvenueIn Brockville$259,900 Well Maintained East End Bungalow
SEE OPPORTUNITY. SEE WHAT’S
HUMANLY POSSIBLEAT MANPOWER.COM
613-342-0250
C - Way Services
Airport ShuttleTel: 613-345-4915
www.cwaylimo.comBrockville • Ontario • Canada
5 ads you should check out in this issue!√ Direct cabinets no HST on everything in-stock!√Green horizons hydronic wood furnaces√ Pauline’s lingerie everything you need for your wedding day & night!
√ It’s How You Wear it! Hair Salon – “ What Do You Want to Reflect?”√ Hwy 29 Auto Service Early Spring Special 25 % off call for details! 613-342-5249
You Should Check This Out!
613-658-5779www.greenhorizonboilers.net
Bob Lunnie - President
Model 100 IndoorWood Boilers
ComfortEfficiencySecurityUp to 90% efficiencySimple operation & maintenance
Pro Series High Efficiency Wood Furnace
Up to 90% efficiencyCut Fuel Requirements in HelfIndoor / outdoor installationGasification TechnologySimple cleaning
Alternative Heating Products For A Cleaner Future!
SAM’S BRASS RACKSSAM’S BRASS RACKSLive Entertainment ~ Billiards ~ Darts ~ Shu�eboard
Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays AGE
OF
MAJORITY
Monday’s - Pool League 7pmThurdays - Karaoke
Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm
24 Perth St, Brockville, ON (613)498 1919
March 23 - City LimitsMarch 30 - Real DealMarch 31 - Gypsy Moon 3-7pm
April 6 Blues Highway
Sam’s March & April Line-Up:
April 13 BacklashApril 14 Gypsy Moon 3-7pm
April 20 Jack Daniels Band
April 27 - Little CaliforniaApril 28 - Gypsy Moon 3-7pm
Driving Offences
The Timid Man And The Biker
A new Police officer couldn’t believe his eyes! He saw a woman drive past him in a station wagon, busily knitting at the same time.
Quickly he pulled along the vehicle, rolled down his window and shouted in a confused panic, “Pull over!”
“No” she replied innocently, “they’re going to be socks!”
A timid little man, walked into a biker club in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, “It’s my dog. Why?”
“Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, “I believe my dog just killed it, sir.”
“What?” Roared the big man in disbelief. “What kind of dog do you have?”“Sir,” answered the little man, “it’s a little four week old female puppy.” “You're lying!” Roared the biker, “how could your puppy kill my Doberman?”“It appears that your dog choked on her, sir.”
Empowering Thoughts
Qui
ck
Joke
Celebrity Hobbies
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart. ~ Eleanor RooseveltResponsibility is the price of freedom. ~ Elbert HubbardTo avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. ~ Elbert Hubbard
Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.
Ellen DeGeneres - Voice Acting Sarah Jessica Parker - Knitting Tom Clancy - PoliticsRachael Ray - Charity WorkCate Blanchett - EnvironmentalismHeidi Klum - Ballet and Jazz Dance, Flea Markets, Traveling, Skiing, Spend-ing time with Family Carrie Underwood - Beauty Pagents, Softball
Here are a few celebrities and what they love doing in their spare time.
NOW IT’S TIME TO CALL YOUR SHOTS!It's back, bigger and better than ever! The 10th Annual Pricedex
Corporate 8 Ball Challenge, at the newly opened RAXX Bar & Grille on Chelsea Street in Brockville. Noon to 6 on Friday, March 30th. Close the office and join the fun as 30 teams vie for the honours in a "Fun Drazer" Tournament for the United Way in Leeds and Grenville.
Call 613-342-8889 for more information.
HEY ALL YOU BIG SHOTS!
“In �e Of Brockville”
What Do You Want
To Re�ect?
Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner
[email protected] 165 King St W Brockville613-498-9898
“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”
Little Bear Bookkeepingwww.littlebearbookkeeping.ca
Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper613-246-6482
Start UpBank ReconciliationGov’t Remittances
Payroll-ROE’s-T4’sSource DocumentationMonthly Financial Statements
613 - 498 - 23954014 Hwy 29, Brockville, ON
(Just north of Tincap’s only tra�c light)
Open: Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm Sat 9am - 1pm
Gift Certi�catesMake Great
Gifts!
(Red or White)$89.99*30 Bottles of House Wine
(see store for details)
Experience the joy of wine making! Wine created by you!
Stump Grinding Free EstimatesTree Removal Fully Insured
Maple Heights Tree ServiceServing the Seaway and Ottawa Valley Professional...Yet Affordable
1-877-MAPLE-10(1-877-627-5310)[email protected]
DOUG CHAPMAN – PRESIDENT
TUNINGS, Sales, Restorations & MovingBrockville, Prescott & Surrounding Areas
www.dkl�ooring.com
For All Your Hardwood NeedsSpecializing in re�nishing Old Wood Floors
“Restore Your Floor and More”
Chris Plume 613-349-4500chris@dkl�ooring.com
Floor Refinishing Fully Licensed & InsuredOver
15 Years
Experience
Loving atmosphereTrims Baths Nails
Paula FairfieldOwner/operatorBrockville, On.
613-345-6220By appointment only
www.mydoggroomerpawla.com
To Let GoTo let go....
does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another.is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.is not to care for, but to care about.is not to fix, but to be supportive.is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to
affect their own destinies. is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality. is not to criticize, or regulate anyone, but to try to become what I can do. is to fear less, and to love more.
Just Like Taxes
Golf Is A Lot Like Taxes. You drive hard to get to the green
and end up in the hole.
Only a Mother’s LoveNothing short of amazing. Six tiny mallard duck-
lings faced certain demise when they were caught up in a sewer drain nearly two miles from where they were found. Experts believe the mother managed to follow the ducklings trapped below ground by listen-ing for their distressed chirping through manhole covers along the way. The drainage system would have passed through a thoroughfare of traffic, 2 school yards, across several roads and even hospital grounds.
Passers-by noticed the mother duck hanging around a manhole cover….quacking and sitting on a manhole cover – peculiar behavior but there seemed no appar-ent reason for distress. After the duck had been there several hours, a woman decided to take her son over for a closer look at the duck that didn’t want to move away from the manhole. It was then she heard the faint cheeps of the trapped ducklings. Rescue workers were called in and soon the devoted mother was reunited with her babies after they were fished from the drain hole with a fishing net. The family was taken to a nearby lake and released. Incredible devotion.
Statistics
12% of Statistics are
made up.
Silly
Q
uote
Flight Attendant Funnies
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
“Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.”
Strange Laws
The Power Of Advertising
In Quebec
• You may not swear in French.
• If you’re old enough, you’ll remember that margarine was once white and
it is still the law in Quebec that it cannot be the same color as butter.
From a paperclip to a house. Kyle MacDonald was the proud owner of a little red paperclip. One day he decided to post it on an ad website barter section and in exchange was offered a pen in the shape of a fish. While that might be considered be quite a trade-up, MacDonald traded the pen for a ce-ramic doorknob which in turn was traded for a camp stove. Kyle traded it for a small generator which was happily swapped for a beer keg and a Bud sign, trading them up for a snowmobile which was traded for a holiday package, a truck and then a record deal. Are you still with me? Kyle then traded the record deal to a hope-ful crooner for a year’s rent of a flat in Arizona. Pushing it to the limit, Barter Boy exchanged the flat for a personal visit with Alice Cooper but soon after swapped it for a snow globe featuring KISS. TV star Corbin Bernsen an avid collector, traded with Kyle for a film role which was finally traded in Saskatchewan for a three bedroom house. Phew! And all in less than a year!
The Road to Success
Call Jon
Call 613 342 0428 to have your business featured here!
Spotlight on Business
Whether you’re single, have a family or own a business, fast-paced lifestyles have created many challenges. In fact, we’re often so busy that we leave very little time to plan for the future. As a Sun Life Financial Advisor, I provide professional advice and can help you find solutions. Discussions we might have may include how much you would need to save to achieve your current life style in retirement.
Why should you have Critical Illness Insurance or how owing your own Mortgage Insurance coverage is in your best interest? Are you aware of your options when leaving a group plan? If you’re a business owner how would a Group Benefit Plan add value to your business and employees? It’s time we talked. To arrange a no obligation meeting please call 613-545-9660 ext. 2265.
TODAY IS A GOOD DAYTO mAke ThInGS SImplerInsurance and investment solutions that fit your life. I can help.
© Sun Life Assurance Company of Canada, 2012.
Anna Trakas613-545-9660 ext [email protected]/anna.trakas
A second opinion never hurts when it’s your future that’s being planned.
www.sunlife.ca/annatrakas
Anna Trakas 613-545-4500 ex 2265It’s Time We Talked Anna Trakas
Anna Trakas
Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129
24/7 Service
Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.
3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.
Call the plumbing & water experts today!
Need a special Book?Give us a call
613-342-5728
This areas #1 supplier of topographical maps & river [email protected]
Open 7 Days a
Week!
Courtney SadlerOwner
73 King St WBrockville, ON
Check out Our New Spring Arrivals!
Tracy SeedOwner
87 King St WestBrockville, ON
613-345-7925 ext.101
Gift Certificates
make a greatt gift!We are your #1 Gift Store for your child’s educational
Toys/Puzzles/Puppets/Clothing/Accessories/Cards
Advertise your business here !
McGuffy’s ads work!Jon: (613) 342 0428
Pick up McGuffy’s News every week!!
At over 140 Locations in Brockville/AthensNorth Augusta/LynMallorytown & Rockport
HWY 29 Auto Service#3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On613-342-5249
Exhaust Brakes/BearingsStruts Transmission Service
Early Spring Special!Save 25% OFF
We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!
Economic Development O�ce1 King St. W Brockville(613) 342-8772 ext [email protected]
Boosters & Ambassadors
THINK BROCKVILLE SAFE AND SECURE A Health Organization World designated safe communityA TRANSPORTATION HUB Highway 401 accessas well as air, rail and shipping port facilitiesUSA GATEWAY Two international bridges onlyminutes awayWIRED AND CONNECTED Extensive �bre andwireless connectivity with superior bandwidthSTRATEGICALLY LOCATED Centrally located inthe Montreal and Toronto economic corridorand one hour from the Nation’s Capital regionQUALITY OF PLACE Superior lifestyle optionsin the heart of the renowned 1000 IslandsTHE PEOPLE Labour availability, loyaltyand access to skillsHISTORICAL Ontario’s Oldest Communityand within United Nations Biosphere.
We invite you to Think Brockville - Think Growth & Promote your Hometown Charm Re�ect on the attributes of community below &
“sell up” the City of the 1000 Islands
Very Punny
Ever Wonder?
Always Remember
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
CRO
SS
WO
RD
Baseball
1. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
2. I know you can be overwhelmed and I know you can be under whelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
3. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
4. If #2 pencils are the most popular pencils, why are they #2?
Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local police-man, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Sam?" Joey-Jim asked. "Well didn't ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?"
"Ah, thank goodness!" Sam replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf !"
Qui
ck
Rid
dle
Brain Teaser
Wisdom Nuggets
Find the Ten Hidden Countries! Hidden in the letter below are
the names of ten countries around the world.
Dear Russ,
I am writing to tell you about this guy I know: Lester Scott. To make an impression on his new girlfriend, Claire Landry. He went parachuting near her home out at Cape Ruby and made a nice landing - right on the roof of her dad’s car! Can a darned good guy leave the wrong impression? Yes. He did, with both feet! One more thing, brother dear. Like Lester, I was try-ing to impress my girlfriend so I took your Mustang for a drive. I tried a fast turn in a parking lot but sometimes one can’t steer as well as one thinks. We dented the bumper going over the curb. But as far as such inability to steer goes, you see, mine pales in comparison and you may find I am not such a bad driver after all. The Mustang’s in the shop; fixed Tuesday. Don’t be mad. Your brother, Eddie
How do you spell mousetrap in three letters?
Answer:
When American poet Robert Frost died in 1963, his Vermont summer residence was left to Middlebury College where Frost taught his craft for more than 40 years. Used occasionally by the college during the summer, the empty farmhouse seemed an ideal place for a wintertime drinking party for a group of teens. The revelry changed to vandalism and damage was estimated at over $10,000. Twenty-eight people were charged with trespassing, break and enter and/or acts of vandalism.
To help them understand Frost’s contribution to the literary world, the local prosecutor came up with an alternative suggestion to the usual sentencing. For some, it was chance to clear their record. Last week, half of the young offenders attended Frost 101. Sen-tenced to poetry class, the teens got an in-depth look into the poet’s writing and inspiration. The instructor used the opportunity to stress the im-portance of right judgement in the choices they make in life, drawing parallels to several of Frost works. Let’s hope as they stand before “two roads diverged in a yellow wood” they choose “The Road Not Taken.”
Robert Frost
The countries you will find are the following:
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember thatwhat you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. ~ Epicurus
Russia, Wales, Ireland, Peru,Iceland, Canada, Sweden, China, Nepal, India
Stand-In Best ManWhen Andy Richmond and fiancée Carlee Yates
decided to marry, Andy chose his best friend and two-time world champion racing driver Andy Priaulx to be his best man. In the final days of preparation, Priaulx was unexpect-edly called to race in South America. Rather than leave his friend in a fix, Priaulx devised a way to be in two places at the same time.
He hired a sign maker to create a 6 ft. life sized pho-tograph cut-out of himself for the wedding ceremony at Castle Cornet. The cut-out was placed next to the altar and stood silently by as the couple exchanged vows. The cut-out even featured a funny and emotional pre-recorded “best man” speech and before the night was over, the bride even took the cutout for a waltz on the dance floor. In Brazil, the racer went the extra mile with his crash helmet emblazoned with a message of good luck for his friends.
C-A-T
Christie Aluminum Products
Custom windows that are a perfect �t!An air tight investment!High quality, energy e�cient vinyl windows and doors!
900 Industrial Rd, Prescott Ontario613-925-5374 (cell) 613-802-2874
613-345-2110Brad Sharron, DD65 George St.Brockville, ON Excellent Service for over 14 Years!
Dentures made on site = Time+Cost E�ectiveMaximum bene�ts from the most advanced denture technology
“Smile WITH CONFIDENCE!”
• Complete - partial dentures• Relines • Repairs • Soft Liners• Implant denturesNo Referrals Necessary!
Denture Specialist TODAY IS A GOOD DAYTO mAke ThInGS SImplerInsurance and investment solutions that fit your life. I can help.
© Sun Life Assurance Company of Canada, 2012.
Anna Trakas613-545-9660 ext [email protected]/anna.trakas
Bustiers
Pauline’s has everything you needfor your wedding day & night!
Perfect fitting lingerie is key to a stunning wedding dress!
Receive a free
garter or stockings with your purchase!
Before you dress - Be fitted for the gorgeous piecesthat will make you look your best!
Tummy TamersSexy Panties
Stockings & SleepwearStrapless Bras
Call Jonfor details.
(613) 342-0428
Advertise Your Spa Specialties.
Canadian Hearing SocietyFree home or o�ce visits• improve communication
• improve safety in your home• assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries
Please call us to �nd out more about our programs and servicesPhone 613-498-3933 TTY 1-877-817-8209
Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205 Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7
Itrix
51 King St. West, Brockville, ON613 - 498 - 2200
Fax 613 - 498 - 2205
• Quality Eyewear• Contact Lenses• Eye Exams Arranged• 24 Years of ExperienceRosemary
ColemanOwner
ROSEMARY’S OPTICAL SHOP
Need anelectrifying ad?
Call Jon(613) 342-0428
Golden Soles
Gift CertificatesAvailable 46 King Street East Brockville, ON
613-342-7111 Cell: 613-340-6330
Comfort Diabetic Socks
End Of Season Sale
Up To 70% O�
Your Business Should STAND OUT!and it will in your LOCAL McGu�y`s!
Call to place YOUR ad TODAY! 613.342.0428
Residential & Commercial
Gas ~ Oil ~ Propane FurnacesHeat Pumps ~ Boiler Service ~ Ventilation
Repairs & Service to Farm EquipmentJoe Cooke
Owner24 Hour Emergency Service
613-802-0384
Put Your Info
HERE!
Advertisein McGu�y’s
Great Results!613 342 0428
jon@mcgu�ysnews.com
100 Stewart Blvd. Brockville(Inside Quality Hotel) 613-345-1400 (ext 163)
A true health & wellness center focused on your success!Physical fitness & nutritional programs tailored to meet your needs.
We offer:Pool/Squash
Sauna/Steam RoomHot Tub
Private Fitness GymPersonal Training
“A Total Approach to Health & Fitness”
I Have Learned
Qui
ck
Quo
te Enthusiasm can be like a fire that needs an occasional poke with a stick.
I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer. Age 72
To The Point
RebusA Rebus is a picture or word representing
a phrase. How fast can you
guess this one?
Answer:
Sudoku Solution Crossword Solution
Cat DiariesEntry # 4
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. How-ever, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I over heard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
SITTINGWORLD
Sitti
ng o
n to
p of
the w
orld
.
They could make pencils with erasers at both ends... but what would be the point?
macdaddydesign.co.uk
macdaddydesign.co.uk
A Fresh Perspective Some Moving Thoughts
Maybe the Universe wants us to meet a few wrong people before we meet the right people, so that when we finally meet the right the people, we will know how to be appreciated.
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
It's true that we don't know what we got until we loose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all you love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart, and if doesn't, be content that it grew in yours. It takes only a min-ute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for body type; even that fades away. Don't go for wealth; because that's not happiness.
Seek someone who is your sun-rise in the morning, you laughter at noon, your light in the middle of the night, and someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day bright. That someone will make your heart
smile. These are moments in life, when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
Dream what you want to dream. Go where you want to go. Be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all things you want to do. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Hap-piness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who searched and those who have tried. Only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future is based on a forgotten past. You can not go on in life until you let go of old pasts, failures and heart aches. And show forth your insanity to live, laugh and love. When you were born, you were "crying" and every-one around you was "smiling". Live your life to the fullest, so that when you die, you're the one who is "smil-ing". And everyone around you is "crying". May you have enough hap-piness to make you sweet, enough trails to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough faith to give you hope.
Just some moving thoughts.
Ursula Swiftwolfe Student from NWRC North Battleford, Sask.
Christie Aluminum Products
Custom windows that are a perfect �t!An air tight investment!High quality, energy e�cient vinyl windows and doors!
900 Industrial Rd, Prescott Ontario613-925-5374 (cell) 613-802-2874
613-345-2110Brad Sharron, DD65 George St.Brockville, ON Excellent Service for over 14 Years!
Dentures made on site = Time+Cost E�ectiveMaximum bene�ts from the most advanced denture technology
“Smile WITH CONFIDENCE!”
• Complete - partial dentures• Relines • Repairs • Soft Liners• Implant denturesNo Referrals Necessary!
Denture Specialist TODAY IS A GOOD DAYTO mAke ThInGS SImplerInsurance and investment solutions that fit your life. I can help.
© Sun Life Assurance Company of Canada, 2012.
Anna Trakas613-545-9660 ext [email protected]/anna.trakas
Bustiers
Pauline’s has everything you needfor your wedding day & night!
Perfect fitting lingerie is key to a stunning wedding dress!
Receive a free
garter or stockings with your purchase!
Before you dress - Be fitted for the gorgeous piecesthat will make you look your best!
Tummy TamersSexy Panties
Stockings & SleepwearStrapless Bras
Call Jonfor details.
(613) 342-0428
Advertise Your Spa Specialties.
Canadian Hearing SocietyFree home or o�ce visits• improve communication
• improve safety in your home• assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries
Please call us to �nd out more about our programs and servicesPhone 613-498-3933 TTY 1-877-817-8209
Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205 Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7
Itrix
51 King St. West, Brockville, ON613 - 498 - 2200
Fax 613 - 498 - 2205
• Quality Eyewear• Contact Lenses• Eye Exams Arranged• 24 Years of ExperienceRosemary
ColemanOwner
ROSEMARY’S OPTICAL SHOP
Need anelectrifying ad?
Call Jon(613) 342-0428
Golden Soles
Gift CertificatesAvailable 46 King Street East Brockville, ON
613-342-7111 Cell: 613-340-6330
Comfort Diabetic Socks
End Of Season Sale
Up To 70% O�
Your Business Should STAND OUT!and it will in your LOCAL McGu�y`s!
Call to place YOUR ad TODAY! 613.342.0428
Residential & Commercial
Gas ~ Oil ~ Propane FurnacesHeat Pumps ~ Boiler Service ~ Ventilation
Repairs & Service to Farm EquipmentJoe Cooke
Owner24 Hour Emergency Service
613-802-0384
Put Your Info
HERE!
Advertisein McGu�y’s
Great Results!613 342 0428
jon@mcgu�ysnews.com
100 Stewart Blvd. Brockville(Inside Quality Hotel) 613-345-1400 (ext 163)
A true health & wellness center focused on your success!Physical fitness & nutritional programs tailored to meet your needs.
We offer:Pool/Squash
Sauna/Steam RoomHot Tub
Private Fitness GymPersonal Training
“A Total Approach to Health & Fitness”
I Have Learned
Qui
ck
Quo
te Enthusiasm can be like a fire that needs an occasional poke with a stick.
I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer. Age 72
To The Point
RebusA Rebus is a picture or word representing
a phrase. How fast can you
guess this one?
Answer:
Sudoku Solution Crossword Solution
Cat DiariesEntry # 4
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. How-ever, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I over heard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
SITTINGWORLD
Sitti
ng o
n to
p of
the w
orld
.
They could make pencils with erasers at both ends... but what would be the point?
macdaddydesign.co.uk
macdaddydesign.co.uk
A Fresh Perspective Some Moving Thoughts
Maybe the Universe wants us to meet a few wrong people before we meet the right people, so that when we finally meet the right the people, we will know how to be appreciated.
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
It's true that we don't know what we got until we loose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all you love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart, and if doesn't, be content that it grew in yours. It takes only a min-ute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for body type; even that fades away. Don't go for wealth; because that's not happiness.
Seek someone who is your sun-rise in the morning, you laughter at noon, your light in the middle of the night, and someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day bright. That someone will make your heart
smile. These are moments in life, when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
Dream what you want to dream. Go where you want to go. Be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all things you want to do. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Hap-piness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who searched and those who have tried. Only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future is based on a forgotten past. You can not go on in life until you let go of old pasts, failures and heart aches. And show forth your insanity to live, laugh and love. When you were born, you were "crying" and every-one around you was "smiling". Live your life to the fullest, so that when you die, you're the one who is "smil-ing". And everyone around you is "crying". May you have enough hap-piness to make you sweet, enough trails to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough faith to give you hope.
Just some moving thoughts.
Ursula Swiftwolfe Student from NWRC North Battleford, Sask.
Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129
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Tracy SeedOwner
87 King St WestBrockville, ON
613-345-7925 ext.101
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THINK BROCKVILLE SAFE AND SECURE A Health Organization World designated safe communityA TRANSPORTATION HUB Highway 401 accessas well as air, rail and shipping port facilitiesUSA GATEWAY Two international bridges onlyminutes awayWIRED AND CONNECTED Extensive �bre andwireless connectivity with superior bandwidthSTRATEGICALLY LOCATED Centrally located inthe Montreal and Toronto economic corridorand one hour from the Nation’s Capital regionQUALITY OF PLACE Superior lifestyle optionsin the heart of the renowned 1000 IslandsTHE PEOPLE Labour availability, loyaltyand access to skillsHISTORICAL Ontario’s Oldest Communityand within United Nations Biosphere.
We invite you to Think Brockville - Think Growth & Promote your Hometown Charm Re�ect on the attributes of community below &
“sell up” the City of the 1000 Islands
Very Punny
Ever Wonder?
Always Remember
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
CRO
SS
WO
RD
Baseball
1. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
2. I know you can be overwhelmed and I know you can be under whelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
3. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
4. If #2 pencils are the most popular pencils, why are they #2?
Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local police-man, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Sam?" Joey-Jim asked. "Well didn't ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?"
"Ah, thank goodness!" Sam replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf !"
Qui
ck
Rid
dle
Brain Teaser
Wisdom Nuggets
Find the Ten Hidden Countries! Hidden in the letter below are
the names of ten countries around the world.
Dear Russ,
I am writing to tell you about this guy I know: Lester Scott. To make an impression on his new girlfriend, Claire Landry. He went parachuting near her home out at Cape Ruby and made a nice landing - right on the roof of her dad’s car! Can a darned good guy leave the wrong impression? Yes. He did, with both feet! One more thing, brother dear. Like Lester, I was try-ing to impress my girlfriend so I took your Mustang for a drive. I tried a fast turn in a parking lot but sometimes one can’t steer as well as one thinks. We dented the bumper going over the curb. But as far as such inability to steer goes, you see, mine pales in comparison and you may find I am not such a bad driver after all. The Mustang’s in the shop; fixed Tuesday. Don’t be mad. Your brother, Eddie
How do you spell mousetrap in three letters?
Answer:
When American poet Robert Frost died in 1963, his Vermont summer residence was left to Middlebury College where Frost taught his craft for more than 40 years. Used occasionally by the college during the summer, the empty farmhouse seemed an ideal place for a wintertime drinking party for a group of teens. The revelry changed to vandalism and damage was estimated at over $10,000. Twenty-eight people were charged with trespassing, break and enter and/or acts of vandalism.
To help them understand Frost’s contribution to the literary world, the local prosecutor came up with an alternative suggestion to the usual sentencing. For some, it was chance to clear their record. Last week, half of the young offenders attended Frost 101. Sen-tenced to poetry class, the teens got an in-depth look into the poet’s writing and inspiration. The instructor used the opportunity to stress the im-portance of right judgement in the choices they make in life, drawing parallels to several of Frost works. Let’s hope as they stand before “two roads diverged in a yellow wood” they choose “The Road Not Taken.”
Robert Frost
The countries you will find are the following:
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember thatwhat you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. ~ Epicurus
Russia, Wales, Ireland, Peru,Iceland, Canada, Sweden, China, Nepal, India
Stand-In Best ManWhen Andy Richmond and fiancée Carlee Yates
decided to marry, Andy chose his best friend and two-time world champion racing driver Andy Priaulx to be his best man. In the final days of preparation, Priaulx was unexpect-edly called to race in South America. Rather than leave his friend in a fix, Priaulx devised a way to be in two places at the same time.
He hired a sign maker to create a 6 ft. life sized pho-tograph cut-out of himself for the wedding ceremony at Castle Cornet. The cut-out was placed next to the altar and stood silently by as the couple exchanged vows. The cut-out even featured a funny and emotional pre-recorded “best man” speech and before the night was over, the bride even took the cutout for a waltz on the dance floor. In Brazil, the racer went the extra mile with his crash helmet emblazoned with a message of good luck for his friends.
C-A-T
“In �e Of Brockville”
What Do You Want
To Re�ect?
Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner
[email protected] 165 King St W Brockville613-498-9898
“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”
Little Bear Bookkeepingwww.littlebearbookkeeping.ca
Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper613-246-6482
Start UpBank ReconciliationGov’t Remittances
Payroll-ROE’s-T4’sSource DocumentationMonthly Financial Statements
613 - 498 - 23954014 Hwy 29, Brockville, ON
(Just north of Tincap’s only tra�c light)
Open: Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm Sat 9am - 1pm
Gift Certi�catesMake Great
Gifts!
(Red or White)$89.99*30 Bottles of House Wine
(see store for details)
Experience the joy of wine making! Wine created by you!
Stump Grinding Free EstimatesTree Removal Fully Insured
Maple Heights Tree ServiceServing the Seaway and Ottawa Valley Professional...Yet Affordable
1-877-MAPLE-10(1-877-627-5310)[email protected]
DOUG CHAPMAN – PRESIDENT
TUNINGS, Sales, Restorations & MovingBrockville, Prescott & Surrounding Areas
www.dkl�ooring.com
For All Your Hardwood NeedsSpecializing in re�nishing Old Wood Floors
“Restore Your Floor and More”
Chris Plume 613-349-4500chris@dkl�ooring.com
Floor Refinishing Fully Licensed & InsuredOver
15 Years
Experience
Loving atmosphereTrims Baths Nails
Paula FairfieldOwner/operatorBrockville, On.
613-345-6220By appointment only
www.mydoggroomerpawla.com
To Let GoTo let go....
does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another.is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.is not to care for, but to care about.is not to fix, but to be supportive.is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to
affect their own destinies. is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality. is not to criticize, or regulate anyone, but to try to become what I can do. is to fear less, and to love more.
Just Like Taxes
Golf Is A Lot Like Taxes. You drive hard to get to the green
and end up in the hole.
Only a Mother’s LoveNothing short of amazing. Six tiny mallard duck-
lings faced certain demise when they were caught up in a sewer drain nearly two miles from where they were found. Experts believe the mother managed to follow the ducklings trapped below ground by listen-ing for their distressed chirping through manhole covers along the way. The drainage system would have passed through a thoroughfare of traffic, 2 school yards, across several roads and even hospital grounds.
Passers-by noticed the mother duck hanging around a manhole cover….quacking and sitting on a manhole cover – peculiar behavior but there seemed no appar-ent reason for distress. After the duck had been there several hours, a woman decided to take her son over for a closer look at the duck that didn’t want to move away from the manhole. It was then she heard the faint cheeps of the trapped ducklings. Rescue workers were called in and soon the devoted mother was reunited with her babies after they were fished from the drain hole with a fishing net. The family was taken to a nearby lake and released. Incredible devotion.
Statistics
12% of Statistics are
made up.
Silly
Q
uote
Flight Attendant Funnies
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
“Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.”
Strange Laws
The Power Of Advertising
In Quebec
• You may not swear in French.
• If you’re old enough, you’ll remember that margarine was once white and
it is still the law in Quebec that it cannot be the same color as butter.
From a paperclip to a house. Kyle MacDonald was the proud owner of a little red paperclip. One day he decided to post it on an ad website barter section and in exchange was offered a pen in the shape of a fish. While that might be considered be quite a trade-up, MacDonald traded the pen for a ce-ramic doorknob which in turn was traded for a camp stove. Kyle traded it for a small generator which was happily swapped for a beer keg and a Bud sign, trading them up for a snowmobile which was traded for a holiday package, a truck and then a record deal. Are you still with me? Kyle then traded the record deal to a hope-ful crooner for a year’s rent of a flat in Arizona. Pushing it to the limit, Barter Boy exchanged the flat for a personal visit with Alice Cooper but soon after swapped it for a snow globe featuring KISS. TV star Corbin Bernsen an avid collector, traded with Kyle for a film role which was finally traded in Saskatchewan for a three bedroom house. Phew! And all in less than a year!
The Road to Success
Call Jon
Call 613 342 0428 to have your business featured here!
Spotlight on Business
Whether you’re single, have a family or own a business, fast-paced lifestyles have created many challenges. In fact, we’re often so busy that we leave very little time to plan for the future. As a Sun Life Financial Advisor, I provide professional advice and can help you find solutions. Discussions we might have may include how much you would need to save to achieve your current life style in retirement.
Why should you have Critical Illness Insurance or how owing your own Mortgage Insurance coverage is in your best interest? Are you aware of your options when leaving a group plan? If you’re a business owner how would a Group Benefit Plan add value to your business and employees? It’s time we talked. To arrange a no obligation meeting please call 613-545-9660 ext. 2265.
TODAY IS A GOOD DAYTO mAke ThInGS SImplerInsurance and investment solutions that fit your life. I can help.
© Sun Life Assurance Company of Canada, 2012.
Anna Trakas613-545-9660 ext [email protected]/anna.trakas
A second opinion never hurts when it’s your future that’s being planned.
www.sunlife.ca/annatrakas
Anna Trakas 613-545-4500 ex 2265It’s Time We Talked Anna Trakas
Anna Trakas
Brockville and1000 Islands
Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada! Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.comVO
L. 5
Is
sue
12
Free!Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s EditionTo Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist
Jon: 613 342 [email protected]
State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company • State Farm Fire and Casualty Company, Aurora, Ontario1010094
Rick Beer, Agent522 King Street West
Brockville, ON K6V 3T2Bus: 613-342-9076
You save more than money when combining your auto and home insurance.
You save time.
100 FREE 8½ x11 B ⁄W CopiesSome conditions apply. See store for details. Offer expires May 31, 2011.
We Copy & Print• Colour Digital Printing & Photocopying• Document Finishing• Business Cards & Stationery Items• Large Format Printing• Flyers & Brochures• And so much more!
79 –163 Ormond StBrockville, ON K6V 7E6
Some conditions apply. See store for details. O�er expires March 31, 2012.
Early Spring Sale!EVERYTHING
IN
STOCK
SAVE
THE
HST
ON
Open: Tues to Fri 10 - 5, Sat 10 - 2www.DirectCabinets.ca
See Store for Details
For ALL your Cabinetry needs...613.865.7444
Visit our Showroom at4504 South Ave
(Hillcrest Plaza)Near Tincap
BerryFarm
SEE STORE FOR DETAILS!
The Shake That Tastes Like A Cake!
613-341-7846 [email protected]
Start Your 90 Day Challenge!
www.overview.visalus.com
ViSalus Independent Distributor
LOSE WEIGHTSAVE MONEY
9 minute oil change!No appointments!
And Warranty approved!Rust Proo�ng $79.99!
Snow Tires From 59.99!
613.342.3000103 Broome Road , Brockville ON
www.prooilchange.com
Snow Tire Installations Available!
Get With The PRO`sOpen 7 Days A Week
PORTABLE RENTAL SIGNS· FLEET TRUCKS· PAINT PROTECTION· HEAVY EQUIPMENT· SOLVENT PRINTING· VEHICLE STRIPES· REAL ESTATE SIGNS· ILLUMINATED SIGNS
PROFESSIONAL [email protected] FAX: 613-925-1556
SPECIALIZING IN: VEHICLE WRAPS
Single vision eyewearlenses & frames $129.00
or1 year supply $199.00Acuve advance plus
(free trial fitting included)
Townsman Ltd., BrokerageIndependently owned & operated 116 King Street W., Brockville, On
Helping You Make The Right Move!
Rick Burt C.E.T.Sales Representative
Direct: 613-498-7547O�ce:613-345-2121 ext 316
“Visit my listings!”www.c21burt.com
32 Oxford AvenueIn Brockville$259,900 Well Maintained East End Bungalow
SEE OPPORTUNITY. SEE WHAT’S
HUMANLY POSSIBLEAT MANPOWER.COM
613-342-0250
C - Way Services
Airport ShuttleTel: 613-345-4915
www.cwaylimo.comBrockville • Ontario • Canada
5 ads you should check out in this issue!√ Direct cabinets no HST on everything in-stock!√Green horizons hydronic wood furnaces√ Pauline’s lingerie everything you need for your wedding day & night!
√ It’s How You Wear it! Hair Salon – “ What Do You Want to Reflect?”√ Hwy 29 Auto Service Early Spring Special 25 % off call for details! 613-342-5249
You Should Check This Out!
613-658-5779www.greenhorizonboilers.net
Bob Lunnie - President
Model 100 IndoorWood Boilers
ComfortEfficiencySecurityUp to 90% efficiencySimple operation & maintenance
Pro Series High Efficiency Wood Furnace
Up to 90% efficiencyCut Fuel Requirements in HelfIndoor / outdoor installationGasification TechnologySimple cleaning
Alternative Heating Products For A Cleaner Future!
SAM’S BRASS RACKSSAM’S BRASS RACKSLive Entertainment ~ Billiards ~ Darts ~ Shu�eboard
Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays AGE
OF
MAJORITY
Monday’s - Pool League 7pmThurdays - Karaoke
Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm
24 Perth St, Brockville, ON (613)498 1919
March 23 - City LimitsMarch 30 - Real DealMarch 31 - Gypsy Moon 3-7pm
April 6 Blues Highway
Sam’s March & April Line-Up:
April 13 BacklashApril 14 Gypsy Moon 3-7pm
April 20 Jack Daniels Band
April 27 - Little CaliforniaApril 28 - Gypsy Moon 3-7pm
Driving Offences
The Timid Man And The Biker
A new Police officer couldn’t believe his eyes! He saw a woman drive past him in a station wagon, busily knitting at the same time.
Quickly he pulled along the vehicle, rolled down his window and shouted in a confused panic, “Pull over!”
“No” she replied innocently, “they’re going to be socks!”
A timid little man, walked into a biker club in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, “It’s my dog. Why?”
“Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, “I believe my dog just killed it, sir.”
“What?” Roared the big man in disbelief. “What kind of dog do you have?”“Sir,” answered the little man, “it’s a little four week old female puppy.” “You're lying!” Roared the biker, “how could your puppy kill my Doberman?”“It appears that your dog choked on her, sir.”
Empowering Thoughts
Qui
ck
Joke
Celebrity Hobbies
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart. ~ Eleanor RooseveltResponsibility is the price of freedom. ~ Elbert HubbardTo avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. ~ Elbert Hubbard
Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.
Ellen DeGeneres - Voice Acting Sarah Jessica Parker - Knitting Tom Clancy - PoliticsRachael Ray - Charity WorkCate Blanchett - EnvironmentalismHeidi Klum - Ballet and Jazz Dance, Flea Markets, Traveling, Skiing, Spend-ing time with Family Carrie Underwood - Beauty Pagents, Softball
Here are a few celebrities and what they love doing in their spare time.
NOW IT’S TIME TO CALL YOUR SHOTS!It's back, bigger and better than ever! The 10th Annual Pricedex
Corporate 8 Ball Challenge, at the newly opened RAXX Bar & Grille on Chelsea Street in Brockville. Noon to 6 on Friday, March 30th. Close the office and join the fun as 30 teams vie for the honours in a "Fun Drazer" Tournament for the United Way in Leeds and Grenville.
Call 613-342-8889 for more information.
HEY ALL YOU BIG SHOTS!