An attempt to share by Pinki Purkayastha Chandrani

Updated on August 18, 2009 | () Copyleft 2007 Mira Madhurya

Short Biography

1. Introduction

Mr was a famous devotee of Shr Krisha who lived during the Bhakti period in North

India. She is best known for the poetical and lyrical compositions that she sung to Lord

Krisha. Her songs have been translated to different musical styles and languages (including

Italian opera!) The most captivating feature of her poetry is the freestyle expression of

emotions and rich description of elements of nature. Much less is known about her life in

spite of her popularity during her lifetime (inferred from the survival and popularity of her

songs over the period of 500 years). Culturally and historically, the collective cognizance of

the masses of Rajasthan was centered around exploits of conquest and bravery. Very little

information about the Bhakti luminaries of Rajasthan was documented, especially during

Mr's period that, as we shall soon discover, was pervaded with political imbalance and

wars. Hence most of the information about her life comes from tales and legends, rather than

recorded events. Following is an attempt to reconstruct the history based on information from

various sources.

2. Birth and Ancestry

Mr was the grand daughter of Rv Dd, who was the son of Rthor king Rjrv Jodh

(founder of Jodhpur). She was the only child of her father Ratnsingh. In 1454 Jodh, son of

Ramal, defeated R Kumbh (Mr's grandfather-in-law) and recovered the kingdom of

Mrvd. In 1460, Dd, the fourth son of Jodh, defeated the king Mahmd Khilji of Mlwa.

There, in 1961, he established the kingdom of Medt. His descendants were known as the

Medtiy clan. Dd was succeeded by his eldest son Rv Vramdev. Dd's fourth son,

Ratnsingh, was given 12 villages that included Kudk and Bjol. Ratnsingh first stayed at

Bjol while the construction of a fort had been started in Kudk . Kudk is about 30 km away

from Medt. When the fort was complete Ratnsingh moved to Kudk where Mr was born

sometime between 1497 and 1502. Before Mr was born, her brother Gopl had already died

in infancy. Her mother was Vrkanvr, the daughter of ruler of Gogund village, Singh Jhl.

The sanskrit word "mr" means a lake or reservoir which is the root of the word Medt and

probably Mr.

3. Childhood

Mr's mother passed away when she was about four years old. She was brought up by

grandfather (Dd) and her uncle's (Vramdev's) wife. Jaymal, the son of Vramdev, was her

close cousin. Mr's father and uncles used to remain busy in wars most of the time.

Her grandfather was very religious. He got a temple of Vishnu built in 1474 which he used to

visit during festivities with his family. He showered extreme love and care on Mr. Gajdhar

Josh, a brahmin scholar was installed as her instructor. Hence, since childhood she had got

exposure to Vaisnavism.

Once a Vaisnava visited the palace as a guest. He possessed a beautiful image of Krisha that

he used to serve day and night. Mr expressed her desire to keep it. The Vaisnava,

considering it as a childish wish, ignored her request and explained to her the difficulties and

penance one has to undergo while serving the Lord. But Mr was resolute. The sdhu left

without her knowledge with the idol lest she should beseech him more. She in turn forsook

food and water. It is said that he was instructed in dream by Krisha to hand Him over to

Mr and engage himself in meditation. The sdhu, considering a divine potency in Mr,

presented the image to her and himself left to continue his sdhan.

According to another legend, Mr witnessed a marriage procession passing through the street

in front of the palace and asked her (step)mother about it. On being answered, she further

questioned who her groom would be. The mother, in a kidding manner, pointed to the image

of Krisha that Mr coddled a lot.

4. Marriage

Rv Dd wanted her to be married to prince Bhojrj, the eldest son of king R Sng of

Chittor. Dd, however, passed away in 1514 and Vramdev acquired the kingship. Vramdev

pursued the matter and Mr was married in 1515 to Bhojrj. She was reluctant and was

emotionally pressurized by the kin to marry as her refusal would have cast great trouble on

the family. Mr took her image of Krisha with her to the in-laws' place. It is said that during

the ceremonial rounds her feet refused to move. She had to be held and made to walk. She

was given land worth 3 lakh rupees for her personal expenses. The deed in which she gave

the villages of Kasbpur and Mndal to her instructor Gajdhar Josh can still be found in

records.

Soon after her marriage the day of customary worship of Mother Shakti came when married

women pray and fast before the Goddess for a happy and prosperous life of their husbands.

Mr was asked to do the same but she refused to adhere to the family customs. This must

have upset the women folk in the palace big time.

It is said that her husband Bhojrj remarried with her consent. However, in 1522 he passed

away. After her husband's death, her father-in-law got a temple built for her in Chittor near

the Kumbh Temple. In 1526 her father and then in the same year her father-in-law passed

away battling with Babar. Mr's brother-in-law Ratnasingh (to be distinguished from her

father) succeeded his father but he too died in 1530 in a battle with another Rajpt king. This

was followed by her next brother-in-law Vikramjit taking over the throne. Vikramjit did

not like Mr's. He, in particular, objected to her mixing with the devotees of different ranks

and orders and always suspected her character. It once happened that in the middle of the

night, provoked by a messenger who informed him about strange sounds of another man

coming from Mr's room, Vikramjit rushed towards her room with a sword in his hand only

to find her praying before the image of the Lord. Clueless, he had to return futilely.

When the furiousness of the women in the palace increased beyond a point they forcefully

restrained Mr within the premises of the fortress. Finding it hard to control her they devised

ways to kill her. On one occasion her brother-in-law sent poison in the name of sacred water

that Mr drank but remained unscathed. On another occasion she was sent a venomous snake

in a basket with the message that it contained sacred stone. Mr, on opening it, found real

sacred stone placed on a cushion of flowers. Dismayed by their unfriendly words and actions,

she moved to her parental home in 1533 and started staying with uncle Vrmdev and brother

Jaimal. Hardly a year had passed since she left Chittor that, in 1533, the kingdom of Chittor

was besieged by Bahdur Shh of Gujarat. Although Vikramjit with his younger brother

Udysingh escaped and took refuge in the kingdom of his maternal grandparents, his mother

along with about 1300 women sacrificed her life in a bonfire to escape being abused by

Muslim conquerors. A year later Vikramjit regained control over Chittor but was

assassinated by the son of his own maidservant in 1535. His brother Udysingh escaped

assassination and became the next ruler. In 1537, king Rv Mldev of Jodhpur attacked

Medt and Vramdev escaped to Ajmer with Mr. When Mldev furthered his conquest to

Ajmer, Vramdev was forced to abscond to Amarsar while Mr took a detour towards

Vrindvan.

It is an interesting fact that saint Raidsa, who is considered as diksha guru of Mr, was the

guru of Bojrj's grandmother (Mr's grandmother-in-law). Raidsa passed away within two

years after Mr's marriage. This means, either he met and initiated her before she was 17 or

Mr herself took him as her Mnas guru. Another interesting observation it that she was

given the name "Rma" to chant (and) instead of "Krisha" lest she should become

sentimentally perturbed during sdhan! This supports the view that she had received

initiation from a really astute guru.

It was not less than few decades before Tulasds started writing Rmyana that Mr left

Chittor. Any suggestion of her correspondence with Tulasds before she left Chittor needs

strong justification. The verses that are claimed as Tulasds's replies to Mr's enquiry about

leaving home were written no earlier than 40 years after Mr left Chittor! Soon after the

popularity of his Rmyana and subsequently that of Tulasds, his connection with many

contemporary devotees had been fabricated. It is noteworthy though that Tulasds was of

almost same age as Mr and acquired fame much later than her! Chaitanya Mahprabhu was

about eight years elder.

5. Vrindavana

In Vrindvana Mr put up at a place on the bank of river Yamuna. A famous tale describes

how her meeting with Jva Goswam (disciple of Chaitanya Mahprabhu) took place. Jva

Goswam was on a vow not to meet and talk to any woman. He was staying at Rdh

Damodar Temple just a furlong away from the place where Mr stayed. During his presence

in Vrindvan Mr sent him a request expressing her wish to meet him and saying that she

believed there was only one man in Vrindvan i.e. Shr Krisha. As soon as this basic

Vaisnava dictum was brought to his notice, Jva Goswam relaxed his austere pledge and met

Mr heartily. Another legend states that Akbar visited Vrindvan to listen to Mr's songs

and voice. Given that he was 40-45 years younger than her, a king Akbar could have visited

her only in Dwrka during the last few years of her life, if the visit really took place at all.

Coming back to the narrative, here Vramdev was in the impression that his niece would

return after a short vacation but seeing delay he tried to called her back. Udysingh too

requested her to return to Chittor. As the number and frequency of requests increased, Mr

left Vrindvan in 1542 for Dwrka via Ajmer.

6. Dwaraka

She arrived at Dwrka in 1542. Attributing the recent turmoil in the kingdom to the

displeasure of Mr, Udysingh sent some priests to pacify her and to bring her back to

Chittor. Turned down by Mr and afraid of the king's wrath, the priests went on an indefinite

fast, so as to force her to yield to the king's wish. She finally entered the Vigrah in the

Dwrakdhsha temple in 1545.

Life-Story

1. Introduction

This short story of Mrbi has been obtained from the book titled "Bhakta Nr", a collection

of essays on five woman devotees (in Hindi language, Code: 170) published by "Gitapress,

Gorakhpur" which was written and edited by Hanumanprasad Poddar. The English

translation has been rendered by Ajay Anand.

The author has beautifully enriched his account of Mr's life at different places with some of

her own compositions elevating the emotions of the reader when he/she revisits those well

known songs placed in their logical context. It is intended to be a more narrative description

of her life than an investigatory one. We hope that readers will enjoy it. Glories to Mr and

her Giradhara.

2. Original Essay

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3. English Version

To this very day can one Love (the Lord) like Gops, she showed. Indomitable, absolutely fearless, she sang and relished the glories to the Lord. The crooked perceiving crookedness with their crooked mind tried to eliminate her. Unscathed she swallowed poison as if drinking nectar. She beat out loud the drums of devotion without any diffidence. Relieving herself of all social norms, codes and chains, Mr worshipped only the One Lord of her heart - Shr Giradhara. (1)

Who is unaware of the personality of Mrb ? The one exalted among devotees, who shines among the Rjpts, by singing whose glories today millions of people are being blessed with pure love for God, whose songs were soaked in love and devotion which themselves carry away thousands into the stream of the joy of devotion, whose remembrance in the morning marks an auspicious start of the day and by following whose life and deeds loving devotees are able to witness the beauty of their beloved Shym's lotus like cloud-complexioned face; this most menial author here attempts to extol that very living epitome of Divine Love, in view of the fact that God Himself is not pleased by glorification of His own merits and qualities as much as he is delighted by that of His devotees.

Mr, who graced the womenfolk of Indian Subcontinent, who herself was an Idol of Godliness, was born in the lunar year 1558 in the village Kudaki of the Marwar region (presently in Rajasthan). Her father Ratansingh belonged to the Rthor clan. Being the only child of her parents she was brought up with extreme tenderness. Her heart was naturally inclined towards spirituality since childhood. Once a wandering saint visited her home. He possessed a beautiful image of Shr Krishna. He handed it over to Mr on her request. While giving it to her he said, "This is the Lord Himself, lovingly addressed as Shr Giradharall. You should regularly worship Him with affection." The guileless girl started worshipping her Lord with a sincere heart. Although she was only ten at that time, she efficiently kept herself busy throughout the day by attending to the Lord in different ways like bathing Him, adorning Him, feeding Him and worshipping Him. She had learned by heart a composition of Srads which she used to sing before the image now and then.

(Rough translation ...) The way I can make you completely mine, reveal that to me by becoming my friend, may the goal of my ascetic life be fulfilled. I wish my eyes and the whole body to never be satiated of their ever growing thirst. I wish that my unblinking eyes incessantly gaze at Your beauty and forever remain in that manner.

I wish to never remove my eyes away from your abundant cloud like beauty. Whom should Srds complain that his eyes have got those veils called 'eyelids'? (2)

At times Mr used to fall senseless singing the same song. Perhaps, she was able to perceive that 'abundant cloud like beauty'! Soon she started composing her own songs which used to flood the entire place with love when she herself sang them before the Lord in her sweet voice. All the men and women could witness the same love springing up in their hearts. Characterized by such divine ecstasy, five years went by.

In the (lunar) year 1573, Mr was married to prince Bhojrj of Chittod, the eldest son of the Sisodiy King Mahra Sng. Something atypical happened during the marriage. Mr, being an embodiment of Love for Krishna, installed her beloved Giradhara at the dais where marriage was to be held. Not only that, she performed the marriage rites holding Giradharagopla with her. This served her to believe that on that very day she had been married to the Lord also.

Somehow Mr's mother knew about the way she conducted the marriage ceremony; she asked Mr, "Child, what insanity was that?" Smilingly, Mr replied -

Mother! In a dream I was married to Gopl. Red and yellow was the color of my veil, maroon was the henna on my palms. What better groom could have I found in this delusive world? Delightfully, O Dear Giradhara, be betrothed to Mr. (3)

Witnessing her daughter's such uncommon devotion and love towards God, Mr's mother felt glad. When her friends learned about this incident, they started taunting her with their remarks and asked her why she kept Giradhara with her during the ceremony. Mr replied -

Why should one marry someone who was born and who'll die?

Having gone for Gopl I've secured an everlasting connubial stature. (4)

Her parents were immensely attached to her. Great fortune was conferred to her as marriage gift; but still finding her disconsolate the mother asked, "Child, tell us what you want and we'll get it for you." Mr replied -

Give me (if you can) my Giradharall. It is not gemstones but some space at his lovely lotus-like feet that I seek. If you find your heart in the nearest and dearest, be warned of impending danger. When Mr saw the image of her Giradhara, she lost possession of all her senses. (5)

What else does a devotee need beside the treasured Lord? Her mother got the implication and made arrangements for the throne of Shr Giradharall to be placed in Mr's palanquin. Prince Bhojrj brought his new bride to his capital. Everywhere the denizens were greeting and gifting each other. Seeing Mr's beauty and qualities, her mother-in-law's heart gladdened. Preparations were made to worship the Gods according to family tradition however Mr declined to join the service on the ground that it was impossible for her to worship anyone except her Giradharagopl. This upset her mother-in-law a good deal who rebuked her for her behavior, but Mr was not one who would give slightest heed to that.

Every year the kingdom observed celebrations to honor Goddess Gaur. Right from small girls to married women would worship the Goddess with great zeal in order to either get a nice groom or for the long life of their existing husbands. Mr was also asked to pray to the Goddess but she, as before, refused again. All the womenfolk in the palace was displeased. Her mother- and sister-in-law tried to persuade her but she did not listen. She expressed -

Neither to worship the revered Goddess, nor any other God. It's made to praise only Raachhora (Giradhara), if, O mother, you could fathom my heart. (6)

The mother-in-law did not like it. Young women tried to clarify by saying, "Friend, this ritual is meant to pray for the long life of your husband. Every married woman should dutifully perform it." To this Mr replied, "Friends, my husband is deathless. Only one who is uncertain about her husband's fate should worship anyone other than Giradharagopla." Those who could grasp the gist of these words felt blessed while most others found them intensely contemptuous.

Prince Bhojrj was first irked at Mr's devotion and sentiments but finally her innocent heart and purity of devotion won his heart. He got a temple build for Mr. He was a brave young man and a great patron of literature. He used to appreciate Mr's compositions and was in fact proud of them. No sooner did he see Mr's face brightened by divine love, he used to find his heart drawn towards her. When Mr used to sing her new compositions before him, his heart was filled with boundless joy.

Although Mr considered Shr Giradharall as her true husband and hence she used to spend most of her time in His service, yet, she never brought Bhojrj's displeasure. Instead, she kept him contended with her beautiful and gentle nature as well as selfless service. It is said that Bhojrj remarried with Mr's consent. Mr greatly welcomed this. She always had this concern that she could not fulfill the wishes of her husband. Now discovering her husband satisfied with his second wife and looking at her own prospects of spending full time in

rendering a complete and dedicated service to her Giradharagopla, the Lord of Lords, Mr was very delighted.

Mr started spending all her time in prayers and songs in the company of saints. Sometimes she would cry in woe of separation, sometimes she would laugh at the sight of Lord during meditation, sometimes she danced in love, thus remaining impervious to hunger and thirst. For days she would stay in ecstasy without eating or drinking anything. If someone tried to instruct her, she would only talk about her love for Krishna. She did not like anything else at all. This made her body weak making the family believe that she was sick. Doctors were called, her father himself visited her from Marwar with a doctor. Mr said to all of them -

O my friend, nobody will understand the pain that is making me crazy about the Lord. How can I sleep on a bed of thorns? My Lord, who sleeps on the celestial sky, given this distance, shall I ever reach him? Only when one oneself gets struck hard one knows how painful the impact is. Likewise only a jeweler can appreciate the true worth of a jewel. In agony I rove around in forests looking for a cure. Only Krishna can assuage this affliction. (7)

The doctors did examine her. But how could these meager doctors have a remedy for the ones intoxicated by this ethereal love. Struck by the arrow of separation, Mr sang in pain -

The only true relation is association with Holy Name which can not be forsaken. I've turned pale like a Pn. People think I'm enfeebled by some disease. It's nothing but an omen of reunion with God. Father showed me to a doctor. Foolish physician doesn't know the nature of the disease that lies in the heart, not the wrist. Go back O medic, worry no more about me. I'm burning in the fire of separation, what can your medicines do? Skin withers and the throat is heavy. The ring that adorned my finger, now fits well on the wrist. O Paph! Don't call for your beloved now and then. If anyone afflicted by separation hears, she will give up her life for the sake of her beloved. I move around to and fro between home and shrine and occasionally pause in the middle and stand like wounded, everyone unaware of my agony. I'll draw forth my heart and ask the crow to devour it before the Lord. I only recognize my relation with the Holy Name, no other. Mr is extremely eager to see you, O Hari! (8)

What a passion! What an obsession! What a charming aspiration! This is exactly what controls the Controller of the world; this is the price just sufficient to pay for the All-Possessor. This was the face value on which Mr bought Him.

O Friend, I've gauged the worth of Govind. Some proclaim little, others find it awfully lot. Let me grab a pair of scales. Some seek at home, others lookout in forests - Rdh and Krishna engaged in game. It is Love that Mr paid as a price for Him. (9)

One whose mind is drawn towards the flower like feet of Shyma, like a bumblebee gets pulled towards nectar, he/she is incapable of relishing anything else ever again. One who has

seen that unparalleled abundance of beauty even in dream, in whose heart the seed of seraphic love has sprouted, one who has mistakenly drunk that nectar of love even once, he/she can no longer find anything in this world desirable.

The one attached to the lord is indeed the most fortunate one, Who disregards Ram (wealth/woman/desire) like vomitus. (10)

Mr, though a young princess and also now a daughter-in-law of a royal household, she sacrificed her all at the feet of the enchanter of the world, Mohana, like the Gops did in the past, by drinking this sap of love, now in a state where no entice or fear could dissuade her from her path. With tears in her eyes and throat heavy she started praying to the idol of Raachhoraji -

Make me thy true servant. Relieve me of these false chores that simply carry away all the intelligence However hard I try to be skillful All slips away from my hand. Before I die helplessly, show me thy light. I do regularly listen to the words of wisdom. Still, more deceitful is mind. I do regularly serve the holy ones and engage my mind in chanting and mediation. Show me the path to devotion, Make Mr Your true servant. (11)

After marriage, ten years passed with such surges of devotion. In (lunar) year 1583 Prince Bhojrj passed away. Mahra Sng too breathed his last soon. Mr's brother-in-law Virkramajit took over the throne. Because of her love and dedication towards God, Mr was not shaken by the demise of her husband. Instead, she passed most of her time in the holy circle. Her devotion started touching new bounds. R Vikramajit did not like all this - her lifestyle, unchecked entry of saints into the palace and chanting of devotional songs day and night. He tried his best to make himself clear before Mr. Two maid servants called Champa and Chameli were especially appointed to influence Mr and to persuade her, R's sister Udb also tried to instruct Mr in different ways, but they all failed in their attempts to digress her from her path. Initially, Mr politely expressed her decision before them but finally she had to tell them in plain absolute words -

I refuse to be lorded over by anyone. Listen carefully friends, hereby, I express my mind before you. Aloof from the world, in the company of holy ones, I get divine bliss of Hari. Let my body and wealth slump, I'm ready to sacrifice my life. My mind is always engaged in remembrance of my Lord. That's why I silently listen to all your jives. Mr's true lord is only one - Giradhara and the Guru - her only shelter. (12)

Mr's associates pressed further, "Mr, you love God, that's fine. No one will have any objection to that, to abandon all family honor, to mix with holy men and to sing and dance before them all the time is not a behavior that befits someone at your stature. The king is already agitated at this." Mr replied(addressing to the whole community)-

What can anyone do to me? Let them live with displeasure. My songs to the Lord shall not cease. A furious King can only expel me from his territory, where'll I go if Hari is displeased? I'll valiantly beat the drums of devotion, Sailing the ship of the name Rma, I'll reach beyond physical reality. Mr in the shade of dark Giradhar, shall never leave the hold of His lotus feet. (13)

What an unshakable determination? What a firm belief? What a courage? What an uncommon spirit of sacrifice? Ud and the maids came to instruct, but when they observed Mr's pure love and devotion, their own minds were captivated by that. They also painted themselves in that same hue of Love. In the end R sent forth a cup of venom in guise of sacred water to Mr. Hearing the name of sacred water Mr drank it with love. God kept his words, the poison became nectar, Mr came out unharmed. Marvelous! What not is possible by the mercy of Lord?

Venom changes to nectar, enemy turns friend. A pit becomes an ocean, fire loses its warmth. (14)

Mr sang in a lover's daze -

I knew that R sent poison. The lord preserved my honor, milk separated from water. Unless gold is rubbed, there is no glitter. I renounced my own family, who can be more destitute and lonely than me? Since I am sold to Hari, I choose to serve with my body and mind only His true devotees.(approximate) To worship her lord Shr Giradhara, Mr takes shelter at the feet of His devotees. (15)

Mr started dancing -

"Mr dances with anklets on her feet ..."

To his astonishment, R learned about Mr's survival after being poisoned. Everyone exclaimed, "In this age of darkness, how could another Prahlda be born?"

Mr started spending all her time in singing songs and praises. No sleep, no hunger, no body-consciousness, she used to cry all the day and sing.

I find no comfort unless I see you. You are my life. How can I survive in your separation? I don't feel like eating or sleeping. A constant thirst torments me. I wander like a wounded. No one is aware of my pain. The day is wasted in eating and the night sleeping. The life is wasted drooping and the eyes are wasted crying. (16)

At night, shutting the doors of the temple, Mr used to dance before the Lord like anything,

as if lord himself appeared before Mr and spoke to her. People in the palace started making their own stories. Fellow women enquired - "Mr, you are a young woman, whom do you wait for all the day, for whom do you sob all the day long?" Mr sang in trance -

My eyes have weakened crying for you. Since the day you left me, I've never felt any comfort. Your sweet words stimulates waves of excitement in my nerves. I anxiously wait for Hari. The night takes eternity to elapse. Whom should I express my sorrowful tale of separation? The time passes in muttering. When will Mr's Lord meet her to dispel her sorrow and grace her with happiness. (17)

The maids explained, "Ma'am, you are right, your feelings are genuine, but that can put your reputation in danger." Mr replied, "What should I do? It is not in my restraint anymore."

O friend, my eyes acquired a new obsession of the beautiful form of Lord, that never recedes from my heart. Since long had I been standing in my palace... waiting... looking at the alley... Mr simply offered herself to Giradhara, people think she's insane. (18)

Such a hallowed passion is not easy to comprehend. It's very likely that one will understand it according to what is already in one's mind. Thus people just overstated and concocted tales. It is human nature to witness those faults in others that one oneself carries. Someone whispered to the King that Mr had lost her integrity. All the day she wailed for someone in disguise of a wretched, but at night one could hear voice of a man coming out from her chamber. Certainly, there is something suspicious somewhere.

This information set R's heart to inferno. That very night he proceeded to Mr's palace with an unsheathed sword in hand. He found the palace doors closed. He himself heard a male voice. It is difficult to comment if it was R's hallucination due to his strong conviction or it was really God's own marvel. Nevertheless, R got the doors opened immediately. What he encountered was a Mr sitting engrossed in love. Nobody else could be seen. R sought Mr's attention and asked, "Who was there in the room, tell me." Mr gave a spontaneous reply, "My witty Lord, who else? Who else is there in this world beside Him? Who else could come?" R did not understand the implication of Mr's words. He ordered an exhaustive search throughout the palace but nothing questionable was found. In the end he had to return shamefaced. Mr sang this song -

I am colored in the shade of Krishna, O King. Having ornamented myself, wearing ankle-bells, I dance before the Lord relinquishing all social norms. The wickedness of mind has been completely cleansed by virtue of the association of holy ones. Thus I acquired a state of true devotion. This way, singing the glories to the lord day and night I escaped the grip of time. (Grip of 'time' has been described as grip of serpent.) Without my Lord entire world seems tasteless and everything meaningless. Mr found only the devotion to Shr Giradhara relishable. (19)

Another one she sang -

Stay steadily in my vision O Son of Nanda

Your attractive form, dark face, big eyes - On the lips glitters flute filled with honey like melody On the neck a wreath made up of Baijanti flowers Small bells decorate the waist, anklets produce a sweet sound Mr's Lord assumes this all-attractive form only to please the hearts of the virtuous ones; He looks after them the way He protects cows. (20)

R's mind was already captivated by pleasures and comforts of the world. Already covered with layers of false attachments, that sullied mind failed to retain any impression cast by Mr's enlightening words. R returned to his palace. Mr continued her religious discussions in the assembly of sages and holy men as usual leaving all concern for family honor. One day a rogue in the semblance of a saint approached her and said, "I have been sent to you by Giradharall. He has asked me to make love with you." Mr responded, "Well, have something to eat first." She respectfully fed him. Then she ordered a cot to be placed in the middle of the assembly. That done, she said, "Please advance." The scoundrel muttered in her ears, "Men and women do not couple like this in public." Mr laughed, "Is there any lonely place where my Giradhara doesn't abide. Then all the Gods (Sun, Moon etc) bear witness to everyone's good or bad deeds. The messengers of death are always present everywhere keeping an eye on our deeds. When so many individuals surround us then this is just an assembly of pious devotees of the Lord. Whom to feel shame from?" When Mr candidly replied in this manner before everyone, that scoundrel was embarrassed. When people started scorning him, his fancy was broken. He held her feet and begged forgiveness for his sins and asked for the way to his salvation. Mr replied with warmth,

Oh my mind, hold on to the feet of Lord Hari. They are beautiful, soothing to the heart, gentle like lotus, soft and they assuage the threefold (daihik, daivik, bhautik) miseries of world. Because he touched these feet, Prahld acquired the dominion of Indra. These feet made Dhruva's spirit resolute. They are the shelter of homeless. These feet are the source of creation of the world and they have filled it thoroughly with heavenly glory. These feet conquered the serpent Kaliya. They danced with the Gops. These feet carried the load of Gobardhana to shatter the pride of Indra. Mr is the servant of Lord Giradhara whose feet are the boat to cross the unreachable shore beyond worldly existence. (21)

Then she added,

Drink the nectarean name of Rma O Mind. Rather spending time in the association of bad elements, spend some time listening about the Lord. Cast lust, anger, pride, greed and attachment out of your heart. And drench your self with the color of Mr's Lord Shr Giradhara. (22)

After listening to Mr's words that swindler became a true renunciant.

It is said that tales about the popularity of Mr's songs reached the ears of King Akbar, who in the disguise of a Vaisnava visited Mr with his royal courtier Tnsen and was so impressed by the devotion of Mr that he offered an expensive necklace to Raachhorj before he departed. This instigated controversial talks among people. R, further enraged,

sent a serpent in a creel claiming that it contained slgrm (sacred stone representing Vishnu). Hearing about slgrm Mr's eyes grew wide. With great excitement she opened the box and found a real beautiful idol with a charming flower garland. Excited, Mr started dancing:

Mr has lost herself in her songs for her Lord. A snake in a basket was sent to her by the King. After her sacred ablutions, when she looked in, she found a beautiful idol. ---

Mr's Lord has always been helpful and taking care of all the obstacles. In her engrossment praising the lord, Mr sacrifices her all at the feet of Giradhar. (23)

R tried many other maneuvers to steer Mr off her path, to make her fall from her state of higher being, but all in vain. When R became a real pain in the neck, Mr wrote a letter to Gosn Tulasids asking for his directions:

O Blessed One! Master of all virtues, your presence extirpates all vices, I prostrate before you again and again, please relieve me of my ocean of sorrows. All the folks at home are deeply agitated. They give me great distress and discourage me from visiting the gatherings of holy people. But I can not stop that because my attachment towards saints has ever been soaring. Since childhood has my friendship with Giradhar grown. You are bestower of peace and happiness on His devotees; father-figure to me. Please write explaining what should I do? (24)

Saint Tulasds replied with the following well-known verse:

Those who do no love Lord Rma and his consort St, no matter how cherished, they should be withdrawn from and avoided like a ferocious foe. Prahld left his father (Hiranyakashipu), Vibhshan forsook his brother (Rvana), Bharat renounced his mother (Kaikey), Bal refused to obey his Guru (Shukrchrya) and the damsels of Vraja did cast their husbands aside. Not only did they receive bliss, their names became blissful for the entire world. Those who are ready to accompany you on the path of love for Shr Rma are the only true friends and benefactors. That's not called an eyeshadow which blinds the vision! Having said that, Tulas recognizes only them to be true well-wishers, respectable and dearer than life who have unwavering faith in the feet of Shr Rma. (25)

After receiving this letter, Mr decided to move to Vrindvana. R was pleased at this but Ud and other friends were shocked. They tried to dissuade Mr from her decision. Mr replied -

Friend, I'll relinquish everything. And do only that what pleases my Lord. Pure, contended and balanced I'll be. I'll meditate on the One Without Blemish.

I'll soak up the knowledge imparted by my Master and seat it on my heart. With extreme affection I'll sing in honor of Lord, closely keeping His feet clasped. Let my whole body resonate like a trumpet. By its notes, I'll sing the names of my Lord with my tongue. Mr's lord is Shr Giradhara, she's resolved to stay in the company of His pious devotees only. (26)

Mr took no notice of their requests. Without wasting any time, she left the palace and set out for Vrindvana. Those who are on the journey to the home of their beloved do not look back. How glorious! Here's Mr, running in excitement by the power of the love for that all-attractive Krishna. Finally, she reached Vrindvana and there in order to obtain darshana of Krishna, she started looking around in forests singing songs of separation. Anybody who saw her would oneself get swayed by that love. Mr used to sing -

The desire of seeing Rma has overcast my heart. I look at the way now and then. In his absence, I'm not able to appreciate anything. My eyes are restless. So many days passed suffering. This noose of loneliness refuses to loosen. Now dear! Don't delay; be merciful on your humble subject. My sad eyes long for a view and my bosom just can't breathe. Day and night only one thought surrounds my heart - When will Hari keep me close to Him. Now this attachment shall never diminish. What then makes you uphold this partial demeanor? When shall we meet? Seeing you will bring my heart great satisfaction. (27)

Mr used to cry and sing -

When water dries up, fish can not survive. Such is Mr's fate, unless you show mercy and appear before her. I forsook all happiness and comfort for you, even now you keep me parched. I've reached where there's no returning. Now you shall accept me and keep me close to your feet. (28)

Pie-eyed in love, Mr used to sing similar songs of separation. When an impatient devotee calls the Lord, the Lord is also equally impatient to appear before the devotee. One day Mr was singing -

O Flute player, come to my land. I remember your dark face and lovely form. You said that you would come but that was just a sweet promise. Faded are the marks on my fingers, counting moments in your separation. I'm a forlorn since long, our love time-honored. Without any soap or solvent, I've been cleansed to core. As an ascetic I moved around in forests, yet failed to find your trace. My attachment to you has made me a renunciant. Peacock feather, yellow garments, curls on hair adorn your face. If Mr is fortunate enough to see her Giradhara, this grief shall surely vanish. (29)

Devotees possess the virtue to bind the lord. The lord was left with no option. Seeing His beautiful form, Mr was entranced. She began to dance and sing -

I had the opportunity to see Giradhr today. Sweet voice, astounding beauty and a glance flying freely. He was playing his flute in the thickets. When he sings, waves of melody fill the atmosphere with colorful sounds. Girdled by cowherd boys, he sings; and dances as well. Ah! That winsome form! My impressions of that sight do not fade. In the heart they remain, firm and intact. I offer my body and mind to that expanse of beauty. Abandoning all concerns for honor and prestige, I effusively scanned that all-endearing figure. His presence sanctified the whole tulasi grove afresh. Mr offers herself to the supreme dancer, ever youthful, dear Giradhara. (30)

Drunk with the wine of love, Mr continued -

The moment I had the glimpse of the son of Nanda, since then I've failed show concern for this or the world after. A crown of peacock feather adorns the head, a mark of saffron on forehead enchants the three worlds, the way he stands in his bent posture and his glance have some magic, that sparrows and bees, fish and fawn, all stand absorbed. Lips red like berry - eyes shining like sun - sweetness of smile - teeth bright like lightning - small bells on anklets that produce extraordinarily sweet sound, and above all - the lotus like feet of Giradhara have captivated Mr's mind. (31)

Whose sanity could remain unshaken at the sight of such a treasure of beauty as that was. Whosoever saw it, lost all senses.

Having seen Rdh and Krishna with her own eyes, Mr turned more, and more, nay, absolutely crazy. (32)

Just like an insane, she began to witness her lord all around, and started wandering, singing wherever she went -

I have no one beside my Giradhara. My husband is the one crowned with a peacock feather. Parents, siblings, friends, no one's my own. Now when I have dropped all care about prestige and honor, what can anyone do. In the company of holy men, my social honor has been lost. I tore away my soft cloth and put on coarse rugs. Discarding gems and pearls, now I have hung a necklace of wild flowers around. With the tears from my eyes, I watered the creeper of love. Now the vine has spread and borne the fruit of joy. I churned the milk with extreme love. Having skimmed the butter, it doesn't matter who collects the buttermilk. A flare of devotion delights me. I wail at the sight of world.

Mr serves her lord Shr Giradhara who alone can deliver her. (33)

Another song she used to sing -

O Shyma! Keep me at your service. As your housekeeper I will plant gardens and groves. Everyday I will get up and have a good look at you. I will sing glories to Govinda in the verdurous lanes of Vrindvana. Your presence will be my reward, your remembrance the remuneration for my services and in the end I will inherit the fortune of devotion - all three conditions sound reasonable. High palaces I'll build separated by rows of plants in series. Draped in a red sari, I will have darshana of dark Shyma in those groves. A yogi comes to practice yoga, a renunciant to perform austerities, a holy man sings Lord's glory - all these the residents of Vrindvana. Mr's is the sober and composed Lord who always maintains his tranquility. He appeared in the middle of the night beside the love-brook.(34)

While in Vrindvana, Mr once paid a visit to Jva Goswmi, one of the exalted disciples of Chaitanya Mahprabhu. The Goswmi responded through a messenger that he did not associate with women. Mr replied, "Sire! Until today I believed there was only one manly figure is Vrindvana, Shr Krishna and everyone else was a Gop. Today you have appeared here as another contender." Hearing Mr's reply, that expressed the gist of all Vaisnava philosophy, the Goswmi ran bare foot and welcomed her with love and respect.

Many of her songs indicate that she was a disciple of illustrious devotee Saint Raidsa; but from one song it appears that she was connected to the succession of Vaisnavas of Shr Chaitanya sect and possibly Jva Goswmi was her Guru. It is very probable that she might have received initiation from both of them at different times. Her song glorifying Chaitanya Mahprabhu goes as follows:

Now the flame of love for Holy Name has lighted. Whom the whole world knows as a butter-thief declares himself a dispassionate ascetic! Where did he leave his flute and where did he leave those cowherd girls? With shaved head, sacred thread around his waist and a cap on his head, is this the one whose feet mother Yashod tied to restrain his stealing habits? That dark boy assumed a fair form of Chaitanya, and shows disinterest in yellow cloth and wears loincloth! Mr, his servant, chants with her tongue imbibed in the Holy Name(35)

After a short stay at Vrindvana, Mr left for Dwrak to spend her time regarding and glorifying Shr Raachhora. It is said that once R went to Dwrak to call Mr back to Chittor. Many tragedies had befallen Chittor since Mr left that place. People attributed it to the disrespect shown by R to a genuine devotee like Mr. R wanted to seek forgiveness and take Mr back to Chittor. But Mr would not agree to return at any cost.

Mr said - O R, what can I do, my love for the lord has continued over lives. Without the name of Rma, my perturbed heart finds no rest. ---

Daughter of Rthoras, braided to Sisodiyans,

is back to her true home - Vaikuntha. No one listened to me at that time. (36) R had to return empty-handed. Mr began to sing to the lord -

I am dyed in the color of my Giradhara. Other women write to their husbands when they are away. My beloved lives in my heart. I talk to him day and night. Dressed and scented with sandalwood, I went to the bushes in trance to meet him. There I ran into Mohan, and on top of that, he put his hands around me with love. Others rely on wine to get high. I'm already intoxicated by love, and roam around, all the time, in daze. I set light to the lamp of devotional service (dance and meditation). For wick I placed my dedicated mind in a vessel filled with Inconceivable oil. My lamp burns day and night. Never do I miss the opportunity to see Hari on the way to my parental home or the way back. Mr applies her mind on the lotus feet of her lord Giradhara. (37)

She approached the temple of Shr Dwrakdhsha and began singing in ecstasy of love -

Please do deliberate over my condition (or my prayer). There is no one my own. Other than you, who will take care of me? There is no appetite during the day and no rest at night. The body declines every moment. O prized Giradhara, when You come, do not leave me again. (38)

Another song she sang -

Now is the time you have to prove that you are true to me. Accept me as your own and preserve my honor. You are omnipotent. Epitome of success. My only support. The waves of the ocean of existence are strong indeed. You are a ship. You are the Supreme Master, the plinth that supports this world. Can anyone succeed if that's not your will? In all ages you relieved the sufferings of the devotees and bestowed liberation on humankind. I have come to your feet and it is now your turn to honor my love. (39)

Saying so she began to dance and finally merged in the image of Lord Raachhoraji.

She danced with anklets (on her feet). She sang with cymbals (in her hands). And in no time she dissolved in the Lord. Who perceived the whole world no more valuable than a blade of grass, the son of Nanda assimilated her in him. To our own benefit, all that could be seen was the end of her cloth left on the Lord's mouth. (40)

It is said that around lunar year 1630, her body merged in God. She authored many literary works that are no more available today. Her songs are famous, whosoever sings or listens to them finds oneself submerged in love. Her appearance sanctified and made more respectable the Indian land, Hindu community and womenfolk. We offer all glories to Lord and His devotees.

THE END

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Introduction Original Essay English Version

Updated on August 18, 2009 | () Copyleft 2007 Mira Madhurya

Life-Story

1. Introduction

This short story of Mrbi has been obtained from the book titled "Bhakta Nr", a collection of essays on five woman devotees (in Hindi language, Code: 170) published by "Gitapress, Gorakhpur" which was written and edited by Hanumanprasad Poddar. The English translation has been rendered by Ajay Anand.

The author has beautifully enriched his account of Mr's life at different places with some of her own compositions elevating the emotions of the reader when he/she revisits those well known songs placed in their logical context. It is intended to be a more narrative description of her life than an investigatory one. We hope that readers will enjoy it. Glories to Mr and

her Giradhara. top

2. Original Essay

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3. English Version

To this very day can one Love (the Lord) like Gops, she showed. Indomitable, absolutely fearless, she sang and relished the glories to the Lord. The crooked perceiving crookedness with their crooked mind tried to eliminate her. Unscathed she swallowed poison as if drinking nectar. She beat out loud the drums of devotion without any diffidence. Relieving herself of all social norms, codes and chains, Mr worshipped only the One Lord of her heart - Shr Giradhara. (1)

Who is unaware of the personality of Mrb ? The one exalted among devotees, who shines among the Rjpts, by singing whose glories today millions of people are being blessed with pure love for God, whose songs were soaked in love and devotion which themselves carry away thousands into the stream of the joy of devotion, whose remembrance in the morning marks an auspicious start of the day and by following whose life and deeds loving devotees are able to witness the beauty of their beloved Shym's lotus like cloud-complexioned face; this most menial author here attempts to extol that very living epitome of Divine Love, in

view of the fact that God Himself is not pleased by glorification of His own merits and qualities as much as he is delighted by that of His devotees.

Mr, who graced the womenfolk of Indian Subcontinent, who herself was an Idol of Godliness, was born in the lunar year 1558 in the village Kudaki of the Marwar region (presently in Rajasthan). Her father Ratansingh belonged to the Rthor clan. Being the only child of her parents she was brought up with extreme tenderness. Her heart was naturally inclined towards spirituality since childhood. Once a wandering saint visited her home. He possessed a beautiful image of Shr Krishna. He handed it over to Mr on her request. While giving it to her he said, "This is the Lord Himself, lovingly addressed as Shr Giradharall. You should regularly worship Him with affection." The guileless girl started worshipping her Lord with a sincere heart. Although she was only ten at that time, she efficiently kept herself busy throughout the day by attending to the Lord in different ways like bathing Him, adorning Him, feeding Him and worshipping Him. She had learned by heart a composition of Srads which she used to sing before the image now and then.

(Rough translation ...) The way I can make you completely mine, reveal that to me by becoming my friend, may the goal of my ascetic life be fulfilled. I wish my eyes and the whole body to never be satiated of their ever growing thirst. I wish that my unblinking eyes incessantly gaze at Your beauty and forever remain in that manner.

I wish to never remove my eyes away from your abundant cloud like beauty. Whom should Srds complain that his eyes have got those veils called 'eyelids'? (2)

At times Mr used to fall senseless singing the same song. Perhaps, she was able to perceive that 'abundant cloud like beauty'! Soon she started composing her own songs which used to flood the entire place with love when she herself sang them before the Lord in her sweet voice. All the men and women could witness the same love springing up in their hearts. Characterized by such divine ecstasy, five years went by.

In the (lunar) year 1573, Mr was married to prince Bhojrj of Chittod, the eldest son of the Sisodiy King Mahra Sng. Something atypical happened during the marriage. Mr, being an embodiment of Love for Krishna, installed her beloved Giradhara at the dais where marriage was to be held. Not only that, she performed the marriage rites holding Giradharagopla with her. This served her to believe that on that very day she had been married to the Lord also.

Somehow Mr's mother knew about the way she conducted the marriage ceremony; she asked Mr, "Child, what insanity was that?" Smilingly, Mr replied -

Mother! In a dream I was married to Gopl. Red and yellow was the color of my veil, maroon was the henna on my palms. What better groom could have I found in this delusive world? Delightfully, O Dear Giradhara, be betrothed to Mr. (3)

Witnessing her daughter's such uncommon devotion and love towards God, Mr's mother felt glad. When her friends learned about this incident, they started taunting her with their remarks and asked her why she kept Giradhara with her during the ceremony. Mr replied -

Why should one marry someone who was born and who'll die? Having gone for Gopl I've secured an everlasting connubial stature. (4)

Her parents were immensely attached to her. Great fortune was conferred to her as marriage gift; but still finding her disconsolate the mother asked, "Child, tell us what you want and we'll get it for you." Mr replied -

Give me (if you can) my Giradharall. It is not gemstones but some space at his lovely lotus-like feet that I seek. If you find your heart in the nearest and dearest, be warned of impending danger. When Mr saw the image of her Giradhara, she lost possession of all her senses. (5)

What else does a devotee need beside the treasured Lord? Her mother got the implication and made arrangements for the throne of Shr Giradharall to be placed in Mr's palanquin. Prince Bhojrj brought his new bride to his capital. Everywhere the denizens were greeting and gifting each other. Seeing Mr's beauty and qualities, her mother-in-law's heart gladdened. Preparations were made to worship the Gods according to family tradition however Mr declined to join the service on the ground that it was impossible for her to worship anyone except her Giradharagopl. This upset her mother-in-law a good deal who rebuked her for her behavior, but Mr was not one who would give slightest heed to that.

Every year the kingdom observed celebrations to honor Goddess Gaur. Right from small girls to married women would worship the Goddess with great zeal in order to either get a nice groom or for the long life of their existing husbands. Mr was also asked to pray to the Goddess but she, as before, refused again. All the womenfolk in the palace was displeased. Her mother- and sister-in-law tried to persuade her but she did not listen. She expressed -

Neither to worship the revered Goddess, nor any other God. It's made to praise only Raachhora (Giradhara), if, O mother, you could fathom my heart. (6)

The mother-in-law did not like it. Young women tried to clarify by saying, "Friend, this ritual is meant to pray for the long life of your husband. Every married woman should dutifully perform it." To this Mr replied, "Friends, my husband is deathless. Only one who is uncertain about her husband's fate should worship anyone other than Giradharagopla." Those who could grasp the gist of these words felt blessed while most others found them intensely contemptuous.

Prince Bhojrj was first irked at Mr's devotion and sentiments but finally her innocent heart and purity of devotion won his heart. He got a temple build for Mr. He was a brave young man and a great patron of literature. He used to appreciate Mr's compositions and was in fact proud of them. No sooner did he see Mr's face brightened by divine love, he used to find his heart drawn towards her. When Mr used to sing her new compositions before him, his heart was filled with boundless joy.

Although Mr considered Shr Giradharall as her true husband and hence she used to spend most of her time in His service, yet, she never brought Bhojrj's displeasure. Instead, she kept him contended with her beautiful and gentle nature as well as selfless service. It is said that Bhojrj remarried with Mr's consent. Mr greatly welcomed this. She always had this

concern that she could not fulfill the wishes of her husband. Now discovering her husband satisfied with his second wife and looking at her own prospects of spending full time in rendering a complete and dedicated service to her Giradharagopla, the Lord of Lords, Mr was very delighted.

Mr started spending all her time in prayers and songs in the company of saints. Sometimes she would cry in woe of separation, sometimes she would laugh at the sight of Lord during meditation, sometimes she danced in love, thus remaining impervious to hunger and thirst. For days she would stay in ecstasy without eating or drinking anything. If someone tried to instruct her, she would only talk about her love for Krishna. She did not like anything else at all. This made her body weak making the family believe that she was sick. Doctors were called, her father himself visited her from Marwar with a doctor. Mr said to all of them -

O my friend, nobody will understand the pain that is making me crazy about the Lord. How can I sleep on a bed of thorns? My Lord, who sleeps on the celestial sky, given this distance, shall I ever reach him? Only when one oneself gets struck hard one knows how painful the impact is. Likewise only a jeweler can appreciate the true worth of a jewel. In agony I rove around in forests looking for a cure. Only Krishna can assuage this affliction. (7)

The doctors did examine her. But how could these meager doctors have a remedy for the ones intoxicated by this ethereal love. Struck by the arrow of separation, Mr sang in pain -

The only true relation is association with Holy Name which can not be forsaken. I've turned pale like a Pn. People think I'm enfeebled by some disease. It's nothing but an omen of reunion with God. Father showed me to a doctor. Foolish physician doesn't know the nature of the disease that lies in the heart, not the wrist. Go back O medic, worry no more about me. I'm burning in the fire of separation, what can your medicines do? Skin withers and the throat is heavy. The ring that adorned my finger, now fits well on the wrist. O Paph! Don't call for your beloved now and then. If anyone afflicted by separation hears, she will give up her life for the sake of her beloved. I move around to and fro between home and shrine and occasionally pause in the middle and stand like wounded, everyone unaware of my agony. I'll draw forth my heart and ask the crow to devour it before the Lord. I only recognize my relation with the Holy Name, no other. Mr is extremely eager to see you, O Hari! (8)

What a passion! What an obsession! What a charming aspiration! This is exactly what controls the Controller of the world; this is the price just sufficient to pay for the All-Possessor. This was the face value on which Mr bought Him.

O Friend, I've gauged the worth of Govind. Some proclaim little, others find it awfully lot. Let me grab a pair of scales. Some seek at home, others lookout in forests - Rdh and Krishna engaged in game. It is Love that Mr paid as a price for Him. (9)

One whose mind is drawn towards the flower like feet of Shyma, like a bumblebee gets pulled towards nectar, he/she is incapable of relishing anything else ever again. One who has seen that unparalleled abundance of beauty even in dream, in whose heart the seed of seraphic love has sprouted, one who has mistakenly drunk that nectar of love even once, he/she can no longer find anything in this world desirable.

The one attached to the lord is indeed the most fortunate one, Who disregards Ram (wealth/woman/desire) like vomitus. (10)

Mr, though a young princess and also now a daughter-in-law of a royal household, she sacrificed her all at the feet of the enchanter of the world, Mohana, like the Gops did in the past, by drinking this sap of love, now in a state where no entice or fear could dissuade her from her path. With tears in her eyes and throat heavy she started praying to the idol of Raachhoraji -

Make me thy true servant. Relieve me of these false chores that simply carry away all the intelligence However hard I try to be skillful All slips away from my hand. Before I die helplessly, show me thy light. I do regularly listen to the words of wisdom. Still, more deceitful is mind. I do regularly serve the holy ones and engage my mind in chanting and mediation. Show me the path to devotion, Make Mr Your true servant. (11)

After marriage, ten years passed with such surges of devotion. In (lunar) year 1583 Prince Bhojrj passed away. Mahra Sng too breathed his last soon. Mr's brother-in-law Virkramajit took over the throne. Because of her love and dedication towards God, Mr was not shaken by the demise of her husband. Instead, she passed most of her time in the holy circle. Her devotion started touching new bounds. R Vikramajit did not like all this - her lifestyle, unchecked entry of saints into the palace and chanting of devotional songs day and night. He tried his best to make himself clear before Mr. Two maid servants called Champa and Chameli were especially appointed to influence Mr and to persuade her, R's sister Udb also tried to instruct Mr in different ways, but they all failed in their attempts to digress her from her path. Initially, Mr politely expressed her decision before them but finally she had to tell them in plain absolute words -

I refuse to be lorded over by anyone. Listen carefully friends, hereby, I express my mind before you. Aloof from the world, in the company of holy ones, I get divine bliss of Hari. Let my body and wealth slump, I'm ready to sacrifice my life. My mind is always engaged in remembrance of my Lord. That's why I silently listen to all your jives. Mr's true lord is only one - Giradhara and the Guru - her only shelter. (12)

Mr's associates pressed further, "Mr, you love God, that's fine. No one will have any objection to that, to abandon all family honor, to mix with holy men and to sing and dance

before them all the time is not a behavior that befits someone at your stature. The king is already agitated at this." Mr replied(addressing to the whole community)-

What can anyone do to me? Let them live with displeasure. My songs to the Lord shall not cease. A furious King can only expel me from his territory, where'll I go if Hari is displeased? I'll valiantly beat the drums of devotion, Sailing the ship of the name Rma, I'll reach beyond physical reality. Mr in the shade of dark Giradhar, shall never leave the hold of His lotus feet. (13)

What an unshakable determination? What a firm belief? What a courage? What an uncommon spirit of sacrifice? Ud and the maids came to instruct, but when they observed Mr's pure love and devotion, their own minds were captivated by that. They also painted themselves in that same hue of Love. In the end R sent forth a cup of venom in guise of sacred water to Mr. Hearing the name of sacred water Mr drank it with love. God kept his words, the poison became nectar, Mr came out unharmed. Marvelous! What not is possible by the mercy of Lord?

Venom changes to nectar, enemy turns friend. A pit becomes an ocean, fire loses its warmth. (14)

Mr sang in a lover's daze -

I knew that R sent poison. The lord preserved my honor, milk separated from water. Unless gold is rubbed, there is no glitter. I renounced my own family, who can be more destitute and lonely than me? Since I am sold to Hari, I choose to serve with my body and mind only His true devotees.(approximate) To worship her lord Shr Giradhara, Mr takes shelter at the feet of His devotees. (15)

Mr started dancing -

"Mr dances with anklets on her feet ..."

To his astonishment, R learned about Mr's survival after being poisoned. Everyone exclaimed, "In this age of darkness, how could another Prahlda be born?"

Mr started spending all her time in singing songs and praises. No sleep, no hunger, no body-consciousness, she used to cry all the day and sing.

I find no comfort unless I see you. You are my life. How can I survive in your separation? I don't feel like eating or sleeping. A constant thirst torments me. I wander like a wounded. No one is aware of my pain. The day is wasted in eating and the night sleeping. The life is wasted drooping and the eyes are wasted crying. (16)

At night, shutting the doors of the temple, Mr used to dance before the Lord like anything, as if lord himself appeared before Mr and spoke to her. People in the palace started making their own stories. Fellow women enquired - "Mr, you are a young woman, whom do you wait for all the day, for whom do you sob all the day long?" Mr sang in trance -

My eyes have weakened crying for you. Since the day you left me, I've never felt any comfort. Your sweet words stimulates waves of excitement in my nerves. I anxiously wait for Hari. The night takes eternity to elapse. Whom should I express my sorrowful tale of separation? The time passes in muttering. When will Mr's Lord meet her to dispel her sorrow and grace her with happiness. (17)

The maids explained, "Ma'am, you are right, your feelings are genuine, but that can put your reputation in danger." Mr replied, "What should I do? It is not in my restraint anymore."

O friend, my eyes acquired a new obsession of the beautiful form of Lord, that never recedes from my heart. Since long had I been standing in my palace... waiting... looking at the alley... Mr simply offered herself to Giradhara, people think she's insane. (18)

Such a hallowed passion is not easy to comprehend. It's very likely that one will understand it according to what is already in one's mind. Thus people just overstated and concocted tales. It is human nature to witness those faults in others that one oneself carries. Someone whispered to the King that Mr had lost her integrity. All the day she wailed for someone in disguise of a wretched, but at night one could hear voice of a man coming out from her chamber. Certainly, there is something suspicious somewhere.

This information set R's heart to inferno. That very night he proceeded to Mr's palace with an unsheathed sword in hand. He found the palace doors closed. He himself heard a male voice. It is difficult to comment if it was R's hallucination due to his strong conviction or it was really God's own marvel. Nevertheless, R got the doors opened immediately. What he encountered was a Mr sitting engrossed in love. Nobody else could be seen. R sought Mr's attention and asked, "Who was there in the room, tell me." Mr gave a spontaneous reply, "My witty Lord, who else? Who else is there in this world beside Him? Who else could come?" R did not understand the implication of Mr's words. He ordered an exhaustive search throughout the palace but nothing questionable was found. In the end he had to return shamefaced. Mr sang this song -

I am colored in the shade of Krishna, O King. Having ornamented myself, wearing ankle-bells, I dance before the Lord relinquishing all social norms. The wickedness of mind has been completely cleansed by virtue of the association of holy ones. Thus I acquired a state of true devotion. This way, singing the glories to the lord day and night I escaped the grip of time. (Grip of 'time' has been described as grip of serpent.) Without my Lord entire world seems tasteless and everything meaningless. Mr found only the devotion to Shr Giradhara relishable. (19)

Another one she sang -

Stay steadily in my vision O Son of Nanda Your attractive form, dark face, big eyes - On the lips glitters flute filled with honey like melody On the neck a wreath made up of Baijanti flowers Small bells decorate the waist, anklets produce a sweet sound Mr's Lord assumes this all-attractive form only to please the hearts of the virtuous ones; He looks after them the way He protects cows. (20)

R's mind was already captivated by pleasures and comforts of the world. Already covered with layers of false attachments, that sullied mind failed to retain any impression cast by Mr's enlightening words. R returned to his palace. Mr continued her religious discussions in the assembly of sages and holy men as usual leaving all concern for family honor. One day a rogue in the semblance of a saint approached her and said, "I have been sent to you by Giradharall. He has asked me to make love with you." Mr responded, "Well, have something to eat first." She respectfully f