meg cabot - the mediator 01 - shadowland

8/13/2019 Meg Cabot - The Mediator 01 - Shadowland

1/127

In memory of A. Victor Cabot, and his brotner, Jack "France" Cabot

THE MEDIATOR BOOK 1

Shadowland

Jenny Carroll

ContentsChapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter

Chapter !Chapter

Chapter #

Chapter $

Chapter 1%

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 1

Chapter 1!

Chapter 1Chapter 1#

Chapter 1$
http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch1http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch2http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch3http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch4http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch5http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch6http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch7http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch8http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch9http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch10http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch11http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch12http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch13http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch14http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch15http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch16http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch17http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch18http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch19http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch1http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch2http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch3http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch4http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch5http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch6http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch7http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch8http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch9http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch10http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch11http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch12http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch13http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch14http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch15http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch16http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch17http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch18http://c/Documents%20and%20Settings/Livia/Meus%20documentos/#ch19


2/127

C H A P T E R


3/127

1

&hey to'd me there(d be pa'm trees.I didn(t be'ie)e them, b*t that(s +hat they to'd me. &hey to'd me I(d be ab'e to see them

from the p'ane.

h, I kno+ they ha)e pa'm trees in -o*thern Ca'ifornia. I mean, I(m not a comp'etemoron. I()e +atched 90210, and e)erythin. /*t I +as mo)in to 0orthern Ca'ifornia. I

didn(t epect to see pa'm trees in 0orthern Ca'ifornia. 0ot after my mom to'd me not to

i)e a+ay a'' my s+eaters.

"h, no," my mom had said. "o*('' need them. o*r coats, too. It can et co'd there.

0ot as co'd as 0e+ ork, maybe, b*t pretty chi''y."

hich +as +hy I +ore my b'ack 'eather motorcyc'e acket on the p'ane. I co*'d ha)eshipped it, I *ess, +ith the rest of my st*ff, b*t it kind of made me fee' better to +ear it.

-o there I +as, sittin on the p'ane in a b'ack 'eather motorcyc'e acket, seein these

pa'm trees thro*h the +indo+ as +e 'anded. And I tho*ht, 5reat. /'ack 'eather and pa'm

trees. A'ready I(m fittin in, *st 'ike I kne+ I +o*'d 6

Not.

7y mom isn(t partic*'ar'y fond of my 'eather acket, b*t I s+ear I didn(t +ear it to make

her mad, or anythin. I(m not resentf*' of the fact that she decided to marry a *y +ho 'i)esthree tho*sand mi'es a+ay, forcin me to 'ea)e schoo' in the midd'e of my sophomore year8

abandon the best 9 and pretty m*ch on'y 9 friend I()e had since kinderarten8 'ea)e the city

I()e been 'i)in in for a'' of my siteen years.

h, no. I(m not a bit resentf*'.

&he thin is, I rea''y do 'ike Andy, my ne+ stepdad. :e(s ood for my mom. :e makes

her happy. And he(s )ery nice to me.

It(s *st this mo)in to Ca'ifornia thin that b*s me.

h, and did I mention Andy(s three other kids;

&hey +ere a'' there to reet me +hen I ot off the p'ane. 7y mom, Andy, and Andy(s

three sons. -'eepy, " she kept

sayin. I hate +hen anybody b*t my mom ca''s me -*=ie, so I shot the boys this mean 'ooko)er her sho*'der, *st in case they +ere ettin any bi ideas. &hey *st kept rinnin at

me from o)er the st*pid sin,


4/127

beca*se 9 +e'', I *ess beca*se he miht ha)e been 'ad to see me. " she kept sayin. "An ocean )ie+ from the bi bay +indo+ in yo*r room>

h, -*=e, yo*(re oin to 'o)e it."

I +as s*re I +as oin to 'o)e it. Abo*t as m*ch as I +as oin to 'o)e i)in *p bae'sfor a'fa'fa spro*ts, and the s*b+ay for s*rfin, and a'' that sort of st*ff.

For some reason,

o* 'ook so reat...." And then, e)en tho*h yo* co*'d te'' she didn(t +ant to say it, she+ent ahead and said it any+ay, in a 'o+ )oice, so no one e'se co*'d hearB "&ho*ht I()e


5/127

ta'ked to yo* before abo*t that acket, -*=e. And I tho*ht yo* +ere thro+in those eans

a+ay."

I +as +earin my o'dest eans, the ones +ith the ho'es in the knees. &hey +ent rea''y

+e'' +ith my b'ack si'k & and my =ip*p ank'e boots. &he eans and boots, co*p'ed +ith myb'ack 'eather motorcyc'e acket and my Army0a)y -*rp'*s sho*'der ba, made me 'ook

'ike a teen r*na+ay in a madefor&V mo)ie./*t hey, +hen yo*(re f'yin for eiht ho*rs across the co*ntry, yo* +ant to be

comfortab'e.

I said that, and my mom *st ro''ed her eyes and dropped it. &hat(s the ood thin abo*t

my mom. -he doesn(t harp, 'ike other moms do. -'eepy,


6/127

And I *ess I co*'d see +hy. I mean, it didn(t 'ook to me 'ike there +as anythin to et

*pset abo*t. *tside, the s*n +as beatin do+n on those pa'm trees I(d seen from the sky.&here +ere sea*''s 9 not pieons, b*t act*a' bi +hite and rey sea*''s 9 scratchin

aro*nd in the parkin 'ot. And +hen +e +ent to et my bas, nobody e)en checked to see if

the stickers on them matched my ticket st*bs. 0o, e)erybody +as *st 'ike, "/*hbye> :a)e

a nice day>"Dnrea'.

5ina 9 she +as my best friend back in /rook'yn8 +e'', okay, my onlyfriend, rea''y 9to'd me before I 'eft that I(d find there +ere ad)antaes to ha)in three stepbrothers. -he

sho*'d kno+ since she(s ot fo*r 9 not steps, b*t rea' brothers. Any+ay, I didn(t be'ie)e her

anymore than I(d be'ie)ed peop'e abo*t the pa'm trees. /*t +hen -'eepy picked *p t+o of

my bas, and


7/127

"h," my mom said +hen I pointed this o*t. "&hey(re e)ery+here. e ha)e feeders for

them *p at the ho*se. o* can han one from yo*r +indo+ if yo* +ant."

:*mminbirds that come riht *p to yo*r +indo+; &he on'y birds that e)er came *p to

my +indo+ back in /rook'yn +ere pieons. 7y mom ne)er eact'y enco*raed me to feedthem.

7y moment of oy abo*t the h*mminbirds +as shattered +hen


8/127

hot air ba''oon I sa+ f'oatin thro*h it 'ooked impossib'y sma'' 9 'ike a b*tton at the

bottom of an 'ympicsi=ed s+immin poo'.

&here +as the ocean, too, b*rstin so s*dden'y into )ie+ that at first I didn(t reconi=e it,

thinkin it +as *st another fie'd. /*t then I noticed that this fie'd +as spark'in, ref'ectinthe s*n, f'ashin 'itt'e 7orse code --s at me. &he 'iht +as so briht, it +as hard to 'ook

at +itho*t s*n'asses. /*t there it +as, the acific cean6h*e, stretchin a'most as +ideas the sky, a 'i)in, +rithin thin, p*shin *p aainst a commashaped strip of +hitebeach.

/ein from 0e+ ork, my 'impses of ocean 9 at 'east the kind +ith a beach 9 had been

fe+ and far bet+een. I co*'dn(t he'p aspin +hen I sa+ it. And +hen I asped, e)erybody

stopped ta'kin 9 ecept for -'eepy, +ho +as, of co*rse, as'eep.

"hat;" my mother asked, a'armed. "hat is it;"

"0othin," I said. I +as embarrassed. b)io*s'y, these peop'e +ere *sed to seein the

ocean. &hey +ere oin to think I +as some kind of freak that I +as ettin so ecited

abo*t it. "J*st the ocean."

"h," said my mother. "es, isn(t it bea*tif*';"


9/127

:eart is o*t, and Andy(s heard some a+f*' stories abo*t dr* ab*se and an )io'ence in

the p*b'ic schoo's aro*nd here 9 "

"?ihteenth cent*ry;" I co*'d fee' my heart startin to po*nd hard, as if I(d been

r*nnin. "&hat(s 'ike three hundred years old>"

"I don(t et it." e +ere dri)in thro*h the to+n of Carme'bythe-ea no+, a''

pict*res@*e cottaes 9 some +ith thatched roofs, e)en 9 and bea*tif*' 'itt'e resta*rants andart a''eries. Andy had to dri)e caref*''y beca*se the traffic +as thick +ith peop'e in cars

+ith o*tofstate 'icenses, and there +eren(t any stop'ihts, somethin that, for some reason,the nati)es took pride in. "hat(s so bad," he +anted to kno+, "abo*t the eihteenth

cent*ry;"

7y mother said, +itho*t any inf'ection in her )oice +hatsoe)er 9 +hat I ca'' her bad

ne+s )oice, the one she *ses on &V to report p'ane crashes and chi'd m*rders, "-*=e has

ne)er been )ery +i'd abo*t o'd b*i'dins."

"h," Andy said. "&hen I *ess she isn(t oin to 'ike the ho*se."

I ripped the back of his headrest. "hy;" I demanded, in a tiht )oice. "hy am I not

oin to 'ike the ho*se;"

I sa+ +hy, of co*rse, as soon as +e p*''ed in. &he ho*se +as h*e, and impossib'ypretty, +ith Victoriansty'e t*rrets and a +ido+(s +a'k 9 the +ho'e +orks. 7y mom had

had it painted b'*e and +hite and cream, and it +as s*rro*nded by bi, shady pine trees,

and spra+'in, f'o+erin shr*bs. &hree stories hih, constr*cted entire'y from +ood, and

not the horrib'e 'assandstee' or terracotta st*ff the ho*ses aro*nd it +ere made of, it +asthe 'o)e'iest, most tastef*' ho*se in the neihborhood.

And I didn(t +ant to set foot in it.

I kne+ +hen I(d areed to mo)e +ith my mom to Ca'ifornia that I(d be in for 'ots of

chanes. &he roadside artichokes, the 'emon ro)es, the ocean6they +ere nothin, rea''y.

&he fact +as, the biest chane +as oin to be sharin my mom +ith other peop'e. In the

decade since my father had died, it had been *st the t+o of *s. And I ha)e to admit, I sort

of 'iked it 'ike that. In fact, if it hadn(t been for the fact that Andy made my mom soob)io*s'y happy, I +o*'d ha)e p*t my foot do+n and said no +ay to the +ho'e mo)in

thin.

/*t yo* co*'dn(t e)en 'ook at them toether 9 Andy and my mom 9 and not be ab'e tote'' riht a+ay that they +ere comp'ete'y aa o)er each other. And +hat kind of da*hter

+o*'d I ha)e been if I said no +ay to that; -o I accepted Andy, and I accepted his three

sons, and I accepted the fact that I +as oin to ha)e to 'ea)e behind e)erythin I had e)er

kno+n and 'o)ed 9 my best friend, my randmother, bae's, -o:o 9 in order to i)e mymom the happiness she deser)ed.

/*t I hadn(t rea''y considered the fact that, for the first time in my 'ife, I +as oin to

ha)e to 'i)e in a house.

And not *st any ho*se, either, b*t, as Andy pro*d'y to'd me as he +as takin my basfrom the car, and thr*stin them into his sons( arms, a nineteenth cent*ry con)erted

boardin ho*se. /*i't in 1#4$, it had apparent'y had @*ite a 'itt'e rep*tation in its day.5*nfihts o)er card ames and +omen had taken p'ace in the front par'or. o* co*'d sti''

see the b*''et ho'es. In fact, Andy had framed one rather than fi''in it in. It +as a bit

morbid, he admitted, b*t interestin, too. :e bet +e +ere 'i)in in the on'y ho*se in theCarme' hi''s that had a nineteenth cent*ry b*''et ho'e in it.

:*h, I said. I bet that +as tr*e.


10/127

7y mother kept 'ancin in my direction as +e c'imbed the many steps to the front

porch. I kne+ she +as ner)o*s abo*t +hat I +as oin to think. I +as kind of irked at her,rea''y, for not +arnin me. I *ess I co*'d *nderstand +hy she hadn(t, tho*h. If she(d to'd

me she had bo*ht a ho*se that +as more than a h*ndred years o'd, I +o*'dn(t ha)e mo)ed

o*t here. I +o*'d ha)e stayed +ith 5randma *nti' it came time for me to 'ea)e for co''ee.

/eca*se my mom(s rihtB I don(t 'ike o'd b*i'dins.A'tho*h I sa+, as o'd b*i'dins +ent, this one +as rea''y somethin. hen yo* stood

on the front porch, yo* co*'d see a'' of Carme' beneath yo*, the )i''ae, the )a''ey, thebeach, the sea. It +as a breathtakin )ie+, one that peop'e +o*'d 9 and had, *din from

the fanciness of the ho*ses aro*nd o*rs 9 pay mi''ions for8 one that I sho*'dn(t ha)e

resented, not in the 'east.

And yet, +hen my mom said, "Come on, -*=e. Come see yo*r room," I co*'dn(t he'p

sh*dderin a 'itt'e.

&he ho*se +as as bea*tif*' inside as it +as o*tside. A'' shiny map'e and cheerf*' b'*es

and ye''o+s. I reconi=ed my mom(s thins, and that made me fee' a 'itt'e better. &here +asthe piesafe she and I had bo*ht once on a +eekend trip to Vermont. &here +ere my baby

pict*res, hanin on the +a'' in the 'i)in room, riht a'onside -'eepy,


11/127

Dnti' I t*rned to+ard the bay +indo+, and sa+ that someone +as a'ready sittin on the

+indo+ seat Andy had so 'o)in'y made for me.

-omeone +ho +as not re'ated to me, or to -'eepy,


12/127

C H A P T E R


13/127

2

I*ess I sho*'d ep'ain. I(m not eact'y yo*r typica' siteenyearo'd ir'.h, Iseemnorma' eno*h, I *ess. I don(t do dr*s, or drink, or smoke 9 +e'', okay,

ecept for that one time +hen -'eepy ca*ht me. I don(t ha)e anythin pierced, ecept myears, and on'y once on each ear'obe. I don(t ha)e any tattoos. I()e ne)er dyed my hair.

?cept for my boots and 'eather acket, I don(t +ear an ecessi)e amo*nt of b'ack. I don(t

e)en +ear dark finernai' po'ish. A'' in a'', I am a pretty norma', e)ery day, Americanteenae ir'.

?cept, of co*rse, for the fact that I can ta'k to the dead.

I probab'y sho*'dn(t p*t it that +ay. I sho*'d probab'y say that the dead ta'k to me. Imean, I don(t o aro*nd initiatin these con)ersations. In fact, I try to a)oid the +ho'e thin

as m*ch as possib'e.

It(s *st that sometimes they +on(t 'et me.

&he hosts, I mean.

I don(t think I(m cra=y. At 'east, not any cra=ier than yo*r a)erae siteen year o'd. I

*ess I mihtseemcra=y to some peop'e. Certain'y the maority of kids in my o'd

neihborhood tho*ht I +as. 0*ts, I mean. I()e had the schoo' co*nse'ors sicced on memore than once. -ometimes I e)en think it miht be simp'er *st to letthem 'ock me *p.

/*t e)en on the ninth f'oor of /e''e)*e 9 +hich is +here they 'ock *p the cra=y peop'e

in 0e+ ork 9 I probab'y +o*'dn(t be safe from the hosts. &hey(d find me.

&hey a'+ays do.

I remember my first. I remember it as c'ear'y as any of my other memories of that time,

+hich is to say, not )ery +e'', since I +as abo*t t+o years o'd. I *ess I remember it abo*t

as +e'' as I remember takin a mo*se a+ay from o*r cat and crad'in it in my arms *nti'my horrified mother took it a+ay.

:ey, I +as t+o, okay; I didn(t kno+ then that mice +ere somethin to be afraid of.5hosts, either, for that matter. &hat(s +hy, fo*rteen years 'ater, neither of them frihten me.

-tart'e me, maybe, sometimes. Annoy me, a 'ot. /*t frihten me;

0e)er.

&he host, 'ike the mo*se, +as 'itt'e, rey and he'p'ess. &o this day, I don(t kno+ +ho

she +as. I spoke to her, some baby ibberish that she didn(t *nderstand. 5hosts can(t

*nderstand t+oyearo'ds any better than anybody e'se. -he *st 'ooked at me sad'y fromthe top of the stairs of o*r apartment b*i'din. I *ess I fe't sorry for her, the +ay I had for

the mo*se, and +anted to he'p her. n'y I didn(t kno+ ho+. -o I did +hat any *ncertain

t+oyearo'd +o*'d do. I ran for my mother.

&hat +as +hen I 'earned my first 'esson concernin hostsB on'y I can see them.

e'', ob)io*s'y, other peop'e cansee them. :o+ e'se +o*'d +e ha)e ha*nted ho*ses

and host stories and "nsol#ed $yster%esand a'' of that; /*t there(s a difference. 7ostpeop'e +ho see hosts on'y see one. I see allhosts.


14/127

&ll o' them. Anybody. Anybody +ho has died and for +hate)er reason is hanin

aro*nd on earth instead of oin +here)er it is he or she is s*pposed to o, I can see.

And 'et me te'' yo*, that is a lotof hosts.

I fo*nd o*t the same day that I sa+ my first host that most peop'e 9 e)en my o+n

mother 9 can(t see them at a''. 0either can anyone e'se I ha)e e)er met. At 'east, no one

+ho('' admit it.hich brins *s to the second thin I 'earned abo*t hosts that day fo*rteen years aoB

it(s rea''y better, in the 'on r*n, not to mention that yo*()e seen one. r, as in my case, any.

I(m not sayin my mother fi*red o*t that it +as a host I +as pointin to and ibberin

abo*t that afternoon +hen I +as t+o. I do*bt she kne+ it. -he probab'y tho*ht I +as

tryin to te'' her somethin abo*t the mo*se, +hich she had confiscated from me ear'ierthat mornin. /*t she 'ooked ame'y *p the stairs and nodded and said, "Dhh*h. isten,

-*=e. hat do yo* +ant for '*nch today; 5ri''ed cheese; r t*na fish;"

I hadn(t eact'y epected a reaction simi'ar to the one the mo*se had otten 9 my

mother, +ho(d been crad'in a neihbor(s ne+born at the time, had 'et o*t a 'orio*s shriek

at the siht of the mo*se in my arms, and had screamed e)en harder at my pro*d

anno*ncement, "ook, 7ommy. 0o+ I()e ot a baby, too," +hich I rea'i=e no+ sheco*'dn(t ha)e *nderstood, since she didn(t et it abo*t the host.

/*t I had epected at 'east an ac(no)led*mentof the thin f'oatin at the top of the

stairs. I +as i)en ep'anations for )irt*a''y e)erythin e'se I enco*ntered on a dai'y basis,

from fire hydrants to e'ectrica' o*t'ets. hy not the thin at the top of the stairs;

/*t as I sat m*nchin my ri''ed cheese a 'itt'e 'ater, I rea'i=ed that the reason mymother had offered no ep'anation for the rey thin +as that she hadn(t been ab'e toseeit.

&o her, it +asn(t there.

At t+o years o'd, this didn(t seem *nreasonab'e to me. It *st seemed, at the time, 'ike

another thin that separated chi'dren from ad*'tsB Chi'dren had to eat a'' their )eetab'es.

Ad*'ts did not. Chi'dren co*'d ride the merryoro*nd in the park. Ad*'ts co*'d not.

Chi'dren co*'d see the rey thins. Ad*'ts co*'d not.And e)en tho*h I +as on'y t+o years o'd, I *nderstood that the 'itt'e rey thin at the

top of the stairs +as not somethin to be disc*ssed. 0ot +ith anybody. 0ot e)er.

And I ne)er did. I ne)er to'd anyone abo*t my first host, nor did I e)er disc*ss +ith

anyone the h*ndreds of other hosts I enco*ntered o)er the co*rse of the net fe+ years.

hat +as there to disc*ss, rea''y; I sa+ them. &hey spoke to me. For the most part, I didn(t*nderstand +hat they +ere sayin, +hat they +anted, and they *s*a''y +ent a+ay. ?nd of

story.

It probab'y +o*'d ha)e one on 'ike that indefinite'y if my father hadn(t s*dden'y *p and

died.

Eea''y. J*st 'ike that. ne min*te he +as there, cookin and makin okes in the kitchen

'ike he(d a'+ays done, and the net day he +as one.And, peop'e kept ass*rin me a'' thro*h the +eek fo''o+in his death 9 +hich I spent

on the stoop in front of o*r b*i'din, +aitin for my dad to come home 9 he +as ne)er

comin back.

I, of co*rse, didn(t be'ie)e their ass*rances. hy sho*'d I; 7y dad, not comin back;

ere they n*ts; -*re, he miht ha)e been dead. I ot that part. /*t he +as definite'y

comin back. ho +as oin to he'p me +ith my math home+ork; ho +as oin to+ake *p ear'y +ith me on -at*rday mornins, and make /e'ian +aff'es and +atch


15/127

cartoons; ho +as oin to teach me to dri)e, 'ike he(d promised, +hen I t*rned siteen;

7y dad miht ha)e been dead, b*t I +as definite'y oin to see him aain. I sa+ 'ots ofdead peop'e on a dai'y basis. hy sho*'dn(t I see my dad;

It t*rned o*t I +as riht. h, my dad +as dead. 0o do*bt abo*t that. :e(d died of amassi)e coronary. 7y mom had his body cremated, and she p*t his ashes in an anti@*e

5erman beer tankard. o* kno+, that kind +ith the 'id. 7y dad had a'+ays rea''y 'ikedbeer. -he p*t the tankard on a she'f, hih *p, +here the cat co*'dn(t knock it o)er, andsometimes, +hen she didn(t think I +as aro*nd, I ca*ht her ta'kin to it.

&his made me fee' rea''y sad. I mean, I *ess I co*'dn(t b'ame her, rea''y. If I didn(t

kno+ any better, I(d probab'y ha)e ta'ked to that tankard, too.

/*t that, yo* see, +as +hat a'' those peop'e on my b'ock had been +ron abo*t. 7y dad

+as dead, yeah. /*t I d%dsee him aain.

In fact, I probab'y see him more no+ than I did +hen he +as a'i)e. hen he +as a'i)e,

he had to o to +ork most days. 0o+ that he(s dead, he doesn(t ha)e a'' that m*ch to do. -o

I see him a 'ot. A'most too m*ch, in fact. :is fa)orite thin to do is s*dden'y materia'i=e+hen I 'east epect it. It(s kind of annoyin.

7y dad +as the one +ho fina''y ep'ained it to me. -o I *ess, in a +ay, it(s a oodthin he did die, since I miht ne)er ha)e kno+n, other+ise.

Act*a''y, that isn(t tr*e. &here +as a tarot card reader +ho said somethin abo*t it once.

It +as at a schoo' carni)a'. I on'y +ent beca*se 5ina didn(t +ant to o a'one. I pretty m*ch

tho*ht it +as a crock, b*t I +ent a'on beca*se that(s +hat best friends do for one another.&he +oman 9 7adame Gara, sychic 7edi*m 9 read 5ina(s cards, te''in her eact'y +hat

she +anted to hearB h, yo*(re oin to be )ery s*ccessf*', yo*('' be a brain s*reon, yo*(''

marry at thirty, and ha)e three kids, b'ah, b'ah, b'ah. hen she +as done, I ot *p to o, b*t5ina insisted 7adame Gara do a readin for me, too.

o* can *ess +hat happened. 7adame Gara read the cards once, 'ooked conf*sed, and

sh*ff'ed them *p and read them aain. &hen she 'ooked at me.

"o*," she said, "ta'k to the dead."&his ecited 5ina. -he +ent, "h my 5od> h my 5od> Eea''y; -*=e, did yo* hear

that; o* can ta'k to the dead> o*(re a psychic medi*m, too>"

"0ot a medi*m," 7adame Gara said. "A med%ator."

5ina 'ooked cr*shed. "A +hat; hat(s that;"

/*t I kne+. I(d ne)er kno+n +hat it +as ca''ed, b*t I kne+ +hat it +as. 7y dad hadn(t

p*t it @*ite that +ay +hen he(d ep'ained thins, b*t I ot the ist of it, any+ayB I am pretty

m*ch the contact person for *st abo*t anybody +ho croaks 'ea)in thins 6 +e'', *ntidy.&hen, if I can, I c'ean *p the mess.

&hat(s the on'y +ay I can think to ep'ain it. I don(t kno+ ho+ I ot so '*cky 9 I mean, Iam norma' in e)ery other respect. e'', a'most, any+ay. I *st ha)e this *nfort*nate abi'ity

to comm*nicate +ith the dead.0ot anydead, either. n'y the *nhappy dead.

-o yo* can see that my 'ife has rea''y been *st a bo+' of cherries these past siteen

years.

Imaine, bein ha*nted 9 'itera''y ha*nted 9 by the dead, e)ery sin'e min*te of e)ery

sin'e day of yo*r 'ife. It is not p'easant. o* o do+n to the de'i to et a soda 9 oops, dead*y on the corner. -omebody shot him. And if yo* co*'d *st make s*re the cops et the

*y +ho did it, he can fina''y rest in peace.


16/127

And a'' yo* +anted +as a soda.

r yo* o to the 'ibrary to check o*t a book H oops, the host of some 'ibrarian comes

*p to yo* and +ants yo* to te'' her nephe+ ho+ mad she is abo*t +hat he did +ith her cats

after she kicked the b*cket.

And those are *st the fo'ks +ho (no)+hy they(re sti'' stickin aro*nd. :a'f of them

don(t ha)e any idea +hy they ha)en(t s'ipped off into the after'ife 'ike they(re s*pposed to.hich is irritatin beca*se, of co*rse, I(m the schm*ck +ho(s s*pposed to he'p them et

there.

I(m the mediator.

I te'' yo*, it is not a fate I +o*'d +ish on anybody.

&here isn(t a +ho'e 'ot of payoff in the mediation fie'd. It isn(t 'ike anyone(s e)er offeredme a sa'ary, or anythin. 0ot e)en hourlycompensation. J*st the occasiona' +arm f*==ies

yo* et +hen yo* do a ood t*rn for somebody. ike te''in some ir' +ho didn(t et to say

oodbye to her randfather before he passed a+ay that he rea''y 'o)es her, and he fori)esher for that time she trashed his ?'


17/127

"Eea''y, 7om," I said. "It(s reat. I 'o)e it."

Andy, hearin this, h*st'ed aro*nd the room a'' ecited'y, sho+in me the c'apon, c'ap

off 'ihts oh, boy and )ario*s other adets he(d insta''ed. I fo''o+ed him aro*nd,

epressin my de'iht, bein caref*' not to 'ook in the host(s direction. It rea''y +as s+eet,ho+ m*ch Andy +anted me to be happy. And I +as determined, beca*se he +anted it so

m*ch, to behappy. At 'east as happy as it(s possib'e for someone 'ike me to be.After a +hi'e, Andy ran o*t of st*ff to sho+ me, and +ent a+ay to start the barbec*e,

since in honor of my arri)a', +e +ere ha)in s*rf and t*rf for dinner. -'eepy and


18/127

"e''," my mom said, r*nnin o*t of steam after her yo*+on(tmakefriends*n'ess

yo*proectafriend'ydemeanor speech. "I *ess if yo* don(t +ant he'p *npackin, I('' osee ho+ Andy is doin +ith dinner."

Andy, in addition to bein ab'e to b*i'd *st abo*t anythin, +as a'so an ece''ent cook,somethin my mother most definite'y +as not.

I said, "eah, 7om, yo* o do that. I('' *st et sett'ed in here, and I('' be do+n in amin*te."

7y mom nodded and ot *p 9 b*t she +asn(t abo*t to 'et me escape that easi'y. J*st as

she +as abo*t to o o*t the door, she t*rned aro*nd and said, her b'*e eyes a'' fi''ed +ith

tears, "I *st +ant yo* to be happy, -*=ie. &hat(s a'' I()e e)er +anted.


19/127

C H A P T E R


20/127

3

&o say that the *y 'ookedsur+r%sedto be addressed in this manner +o*'d ha)e been amassi)e *nderstatement. :e didn(t *st 'ook s*rprised. :e act*a''y 'ooked o)er his sho*'der,

to see if it +as rea''y him I +as ta'kin to.

/*t of co*rse, the on'y thin behind him +as the +indo+, and thro*h it, that incredib'e

)ie+ of Carme' /ay. -o then he t*rned back to 'ook at me, and m*st ha)e seen that my

a=e +as fastened direct'y on his face, since he breathed, "Nombre de -%os," in a mannerthat +o*'d ha)e had 5ina, +ho has a thin for atino *ys, s+oonin.

"It(s no *se ca''in on yo*r hiher po+er," I informed him, as I s+*n the pinktasse'ed

chair to my ne+ dressin tab'e aro*nd, and stradd'ed it. "In case yo* ha)en(t noticed, :e

isn(t payin a +ho'e 'ot of attention to yo*. ther+ise, :e +o*'dn(t ha)e 'eft yo* here tofester for 9 " I took in his o*tfit, +hich 'ooked a 'ot 'ike somethin they(d ha)e +orn on TheW%ld, W%ld West. "hat is it, a h*ndred and fifty years; :as it rea''y been that 'on since

yo* croaked;"

:e stared at me +ith eyes that +ere as b'ack and 'i@*id as ink. "hat is 6 croaked;" he

asked, in a )oice that so*nded r*sty from dis*se.

I ro''ed my eyes. "Kicked the b*cket," I trans'ated. "Checked o*t. opped off. /it the

d*st." hen I sa+ from his perp'eed epression that he sti'' didn(t *nderstand, I said, +ithsome easperation, "-%ed."

"h," he said. "


21/127

indeed ha)e sipacks. :is abdomina' m*sc'es +ere deep'y rided, and co)ered +ith a 'iht

d*stin of si'ky b'ack hair.

I s+a''o+ed. :ard.

"5'itch," I said. "rob'em. hy are yo* sti'' here;" :e 'ooked at me, his epression

b'ank, b*t interested. I e'aborated. "Why ha#ent you *one to the other s%de;"

:e shook his head. :a)e I mentioned that his hair +as short and dark and sort of crisp'ookin, 'ike if yo* to*ched it, it +o*'d be rea''y, rea''y thick; "I don(t kno+ +hat yo*mean."

I +as ettin sort of +arm, b*t I had a'ready taken off my 'eather acket, so I didn(t

kno+ +hat to do abo*t it. I co*'dn(t )ery +e'' take off anythin e'se +ith him sittin there

+atchin me. &his rea'i=ation miht ha)e contrib*ted to my s*dden'y )ery fo*' mood.

"hat do yo* mean, yo* don(t kno+ +hat I mean;" I snapped, p*shin some hair a+ay

from my eyes. "o*(re dead. o* don(t be'on here. o*(re s*pposed to be off doin+hate)er it is that happens to peop'e after they(re dead. Eeoicin in hea)en, or b*rnin in

he'', or bein reincarnated, or ascendin another p'ane of conscio*sness, or +hate)er.

o*(re not s*pposed to be *st6+e'', *st han*%n* around."

:e 'ooked at me tho*htf*''y, ba'ancin his e'bo+ on his *p'ifted knee, his arm sort ofdan'in. "And +hat if I happen to 'ike *st han*%n* around;" he +anted to kno+.

I +asn(t s*re, b*t I had a fee'in he +as makin f*n of me. And I don(t 'ike bein madef*n of. I rea''y don(t. eop'e back in /rook'yn *sed to do it a'' the time 9 +e'', *nti' I

'earned ho+ effecti)e'y a fist connectin +ith their nose co*'d sh*t them *p.

I +asn(t ready to hit this *y 9 not yet. /*t I +as c'ose. I mean, I(d *st tra)e'ed a

a=i''ion mi'es for +hat seemed 'ike days in order to 'i)e +ith a b*nch of st*pid boys8 I sti''had to *npack8 I had a'ready practica''y made my mother cry8 and then I find a host in my

bedroom. Can yo* b'ame me for bein 6 +e'', short +ith him;

"ook," I said, standin *p fast, and s+inin my 'e aro*nd the back of the chair. "o*

can do a'' the hanin aro*nd yo* +ant, am%*o. -'ack a+ay. I don(t rea''y care. /*t yo*

can(t do it here.""Jesse," he said, not mo)in.

"hat;"

"o* ca''ed me amio. I tho*ht yo* miht 'ike to kno+ I ha)e a name. It(s Jesse."

I nodded. "Eiht. &hat fi*res. e'', fine. Jesse, then. o* can(t stay here, Jesse."

"And yo*;" Jesse +as smi'in at me no+. :e had a nice face. A ood face. &he kind of

face that, back in my o'd hih schoo', +o*'d ha)e otten him e'ected prom kin in no time

f'at. &he kind of face 5ina +o*'d ha)e c*t o*t of a maa=ine and taped to her bedroom+a''.

0ot that he +as pretty. 0ot at a''. +as ho+ he 'ooked. 7ihty danero*s.

"And me, +hat;" I kne+ I +as bein r*de. I didn(t care.

"hat is yo*r name;"I 'ared at him. "ook. J*st te'' me +hat yo* +ant, and et o*t. I(m hot, and I +ant to

chane c'othes. I don(t ha)e time for 9 "

:e interr*pted, as amiab'y as if he hadn(t heard me ta'kin at a'', "&hat +oman 9 yo*rmother 9 ca''ed yo* -*=ie." :is b'ack eyes +ere briht on me. "-hort for -*san;"

"-*sannah," I said, correctin him a*tomatica''y. "As in, (


22/127

:e *st kept on smi'in. "-o this is yo*r room no+, is it, -*sannah;"

"eah," I said. "eah, this is my room no+. -o yo*(re oin to ha)e c'ear o*t."

"moin to ha)e to c'ear o*t;" :e raised one b'ack eyebro+. "&his has been my home

for a cent*ry and a ha'f. hy doha)e to 'ea)e it;"

"/eca*se." I +as ettin rea''y mad. 7ost'y beca*se I +as so hot, and I +anted to open

a +indo+, b*t the +indo+s +ere behind him, and I didn(t +ant to et that c'ose to him."&his is myroom. I(m not sharin it +ith some dead co+boy."

&hat ot to him. :e s'ammed his foot back do+n on the f'oor 9 hard 9 and stood *p. Iinstant'y +ished I hadn(t said anythin. :e +as ta'', +ay ta''er than me, and in my ank'e

boots I(m fi)e eiht.

"I am nota co+boy," he informed me, anri'y. :e added somethin in -panish in an

*ndertone, b*t since I had a'+ays taken French, I had no idea +hat he +as sayin. At the

same time, the anti@*e mirror hanin o)er my ne+ dressin tab'e started to +obb'edanero*s'y on the hook that he'd it to the +a''. &his +as not d*e, I kne+, to a Ca'ifornia

earth@*ake, b*t to the aitation of the host in front of me, +hose psychic abi'ities +ere

ob)io*s'y of a kinetic bent.

&hat(s the thin abo*t hostsB they(re so to*chy> &he s'ihtest thin can set them off."hoa," I said, ho'din *p both my hands, pa'ms o*t+ard. "


23/127


24/127

C H A P T E R


25/127


26/127

Andy, sco*rin a bakin dish in the sink, said, ":e de'i)ers for them. /rins home a

b*nd'e in tips."

":e(s sa)in *p,"


27/127

":o+," he(d +anted to kno+, +hen I to'd him, "am I oin to pop in on yo* +hen yo*(re

'i)in three tho*sand mi'es a+ay;"

"&he point,


28/127

Instead, I shr*ed and said, +ith e'aborate cas*a'ness, "eah, +e'', I(m onna chane

in a bit."

"Are yo* s*re yo* don(t +ant he'p *npackin; I fee' terrib'e. I sho*'d ha)e 9 "

"0o, I don(t need any he'p. I('' *npack in a bit.( I +atched


29/127

C H A P T E R


30/127

!

&he J*nipero -erra Catho'ic Academy, rades K12, had been made coed*cationa' in theeihties, and had, m*ch to my re'ief, recent'y dropped its strict *niform po'icy. &he

*niforms had been roya' b'*e and +hite, not my best co'ors. Fort*nate'y, the *niforms had

been so *npop*'ar that they, 'ike the boyson'y r*'e, had been abandoned, and tho*h thep*pi's sti'' co*'dn(t +ear eans, they co*'d +ear *st abo*t anythin e'se they +anted. -ince

a'' I +anted +as to +ear my etensi)e co''ection of desiner c'othin 9 p*rchased at

)ario*s o*t'et stores in 0e+ Jersey +ith 5ina as my fashion coordinator 9 this s*ited me

fine.

&he Catho'ic thin, tho*h, +as oin to be a prob'em. 0ot rea''y a prob'em so m*ch as

an incon)enience. o* see, my mother ne)er rea''y bothered to raise me in any partic*'arre'iion. 7y father +as a nonpracticin Je+, my mother Christian. Ee'iion had ne)er

p'ayed an important part in either of my parents( 'i)es, and, need'ess to say, it had on'yser)ed to conf*se me. I mean, yo* +o*'d think I(d ha)e a better rasp on re'iion than

anybody, b*t the tr*th is, I ha)en(t the s'ihtest idea +hat happens to the hosts I send off to

+here)er it is they(re s*pposed to o after they die. A'' I kno+ is, once I send them there,

they do not come back. 0ot e)er. &he end.

-o +hen my mother and I sho+ed *p at the 7ission -choo'(s administrati)e office the7onday after my arri)a' in s*nny Ca'ifornia, I +as more than a 'itt'e taken aback to be

confronted +ith a si foot Jes*s hanin on a cr*cifi behind the secretary(s desk.

I sho*'dn(t ha)e been s*rprised, tho*h. 7y mom had pointed o*t the schoo' from my

room on -*nday mornin as she he'ped me to *npack. "-ee that bi red dome;" she(d said."&hat(s the 7ission. &he dome co)ers the chape'."


31/127

0o+, standin in the coo' office of the ancient b*i'din J*nipero -erra had constr*cted

for the betterment of the nati)es in the area, I +ondered ho+ many hosts I +as oin toenco*nter. &hat -erra *y had to ha)e a b*nch of 0ati)e Americans mad at him 9

partic*'ar'y considerin that corpora' p*nishment thin 9 and I hadn(t any do*bt I +as

oin to enco*nter a'' of them.

And yet, +hen my mom and I +a'ked thro*h the schoo'(s +ide front arch+ay into theco*rtyard aro*nd +hich the 7ission had been constr*cted, I didn(t see a sin'e person +ho'ooked as if he or she didn(t be'on there. &here +ere a fe+ to*rists snappin pict*res of the

impressi)e fo*ntain, a ardener +orkin di'ient'y at the base of a pa'm tree 9 e)en at my

ne+ schoo' there +ere pa'm trees 9 a priest +a'kin in si'ent contemp'ation do+n the airybree=e+ay. It +as a bea*tif*', restf*' p'ace 9 especia''y for a b*i'din that +as so o'd, and

had to ha)e seen so m*ch death.

I co*'dn(t *nderstand it. here +ere a'' the hosts;

7aybe they +ere afraid to han aro*nd the p'ace.+as a 'itt'e afraid, 'ookin *p at that

cr*cifi. I mean, I()e ot nothin aainst re'iio*s art, b*t +as it rea''y necessary to portray

the cr*cifiion so rea'istica''y, +ith so many scabs and a'';

Apparent'y, I +as not a'one in thinkin so, since a boy +ho +as s'*mped on a co*chacross from the one +here my mom and I had been instr*cted to +ait noticed the directionof my a=e and said, ":e(s s*pposed to +eep tears of b'ood if any ir' e)er rad*ates from

here a )irin."

I co*'dn(t he'p 'ettin o*t a 'itt'e bark of 'a*hter. 7y mother 'ared at me. &he

secretary, a p'*mp midd'eaed +oman +ho 'ooked as if somethin 'ike that o*ht to ha)eoffended her deep'y on'y ro''ed her eyes, and said, tired'y, "h, Adam."

Adam, a ood'ookin boy abo*t my ae, 'ooked at me +ith a perfect'y serio*s face."It(s tr*e," he said, ra)e'y. "It happened 'ast year. 7y sister." :e dropped his )oice

conspiratoria''y. "-he(s adopted."

I 'a*hed aain, and my mother fro+ned at me. -he had spent most of yesterday

ep'ainin to me that it had been rea''y, rea''y hard to con)ince the schoo' to take me,especia''y since she co*'dn(t prod*ce any proof that I(d e)er been bapti=ed. In the end,they(d on'y 'et me in beca*se of Andy, since a'' three of his boys +ent there. I imaine a

si=eab'e donation had a'so p'ayed a part in my admittance, b*t my mother +o*'dn(t te'' me

that. A'' she said +as that I had better beha)e myse'f, and not h*r' anythin o*t of any+indo+s 9 e)en tho*h I reminded her that that partic*'ar incident hadn(t been my fa*'t. I(d

been fihtin +ith a partic*'ar'y )io'ent yo*n host +ho(d ref*sed to @*it ha*ntin the

ir's( 'ocker room at my o'd schoo'. &hro+in him thro*h that +indo+ had certain'yotten his attention, and con)inced him to trod the path of rihteo*sness e)er after.

f co*rse, I(d to'd my mother that I(d been practicin my tennis s+in indoors, and theracket had s'ipped from my hands 9 an especia''y *nbe'ie)ab'e story, since a racket +as

ne)er fo*nd.It +as as I +as re'i)in this painf*' memory that a hea)y +ooden door opened, and a

priest came o*t and said, "7rs. Ackerman, +hat a p'eas*re to see yo* aain. And this m*stbe -*sannah -imon. Come in, +on(t yo*;" :e *shered *s into his office, then pa*sed, and

said to the boy on the co*ch, "h, no, 7r. 7c&a)ish. 0ot on the first day of a brand ne+

semester."

Adam shr*ed. "hat can I say; &he broad hates me."


32/127

"Kind'y do not refer to -ister ?rnestine as a broad, 7r. 7c&a)ish. I +i'' see to yo* in a

moment, after I ha)e spoken +ith these 'adies."

e +ent in, and the principa', Father


33/127

benches for peop'e to sit on +hi'e they enoyed so'itary contemp'ation of the co*rtyard(s

sp'endor, the doors to the c'assrooms and stee' 'ockers +ere b*i't riht into the adobe +a''.ne of those 'ockers, Father


34/127

C H A P T E R


35/127

"

I'ooked from Father " I practica''y ye''ed. "ou

took care of them. Jee=, I +as )onder%n*+hat happened to them a''. I epected to find

h*ndreds 9 "

Father


36/127

-he sneered at me. "Dh, d*h. I (no)he(s a priest. :e(s on'y been tryin to et rid of me

a'' +eek."

I 'anced at Father


37/127

"kay," I said, and +a'ed my finers at him. "/*hbye."

I *ess on the est Coast yo* aren(t s*pposed to say b*hbye to the principa', or +a'e

yo*r finers at him, since +hen I t*rned aro*nd to face my ne+ c'assmates, they +ere a''

starin at me +ith their mo*ths hanin open.

7aybe it +as my o*tfit. I had +orn a 'itt'e bit more b'ack than *s*a', d*e to ner)es.

hen in do*bt, I a'+ays say, +ear b'ack. o* can ne)er o +ron +ith b'ack.r maybe yo* can. /eca*se as I 'ooked aro*nd at the apin faces, I didn(t see a sin'e

b'ack arment in the 'ot. A 'ot of +hite, a fe+ bro+ns, and a heck of a 'ot of khaki, b*t no

b'ack.

ops.

7r. a'den didn(t seem to notice my discomfort. :e introd*ced me to the c'ass, and

made me te'' them +here I came from. I to'd them, and they a'' stared at me b'ank'y. I

bean to fee' s+eat prickin the back of my neck. I ha)e to te'' yo*, sometimes I prefer thecompany of the *ndead to the company of my peers. -iteenyearo'ds can be rea''y scary.

/*t 7r. a'den +as a ood *y. :e on'y made me stand there a min*te, *nder a'' those

stares, and then he to'd me to take a seat.

&his so*nds 'ike a simp'e thin, riht; J*st o and take a seat. /*t yo* see, there +eret+o seats. ne +as net to this rea''y pretty tanned ir', +ith thick, c*r'y honeyb'ond hair.

&he other +as +ay in the back, behind a ir' +ith hair so +hite, and skin so pink, she co*'don'y be an a'bino.

0o, I am not kiddin. An alb%no.

&+o thins inf'*enced my decision. ne +as that +hen I sa+ the seat in the back, I a'so

happened to see that the +indo+s, direct'y behind that seat, 'ooked o*t across the schoo'

parkin 'ot.

kay, not s*ch an inspirin )ie+, yo* miht say. /*t beyond the parkin 'ot +as the

sea.

I am not kiddin. &his schoo', my ne+ schoo', had a )ie+ of the acific that +as e)en

better than the one in my bedroom since the schoo' +as so m*ch c'oser to the beach. o*co*'d act*a''y see the +a)es from my homeroom(s +indo+s. I +anted to sit as c'ose to the

+indo+ as possib'e.

&he second reason I sat there +as simp'eB I didn(t +ant to take the seat by the tan ir'

and ha)e the a'bino ir' think I(d done it beca*se I didn(t +ant to sit near anyone as +eird'ookin as she +as. -t*pid, riht; ike she(d e)en care +hat I did. /*t I didn(t e)en

hesitate. I sa+ the sea, I sa+ the a'bino, and I +ent for it.

As soon as I sat do+n, of co*rse, this ir' a fe+ seats a+ay snickered and +ent, *nder

her breath, b*t perfect'y a*dib'y, "5od, sit by the freak, +hy don(t yo*."

I 'ooked at her. -he had perfect'y c*r'ed hair and perfect'y made*p eyes. I said, not

ta'kin *nder my breath at a'', "?c*se me, do yo* ha)e &o*rette(s;"

7r. a'den had t*rned aro*nd to +rite somethin on the board, b*t the so*nd of my)oice stopped him. ?)erybody t*rned aro*nd to 'ook at me, inc'*din the ir' +ho(dspoken. -he b'inked at me, start'ed. "hat;"

"&o*rette(s -yndrome," I said. "It(s a ne*ro'oica' disorder that ca*ses peop'e to say

thins they don(t rea''y mean.


38/127

"I(m a+are of that," I said. "&hat(s +hy I(m on'y oin to break oneof yo*r finers after

schoo', instead of allof them."

-he sp*n aro*nd rea' fast to face the front of the c'assroom. I sett'ed back into my chair.

I don(t kno+ +hat e)erybody started b*==in abo*t after that, b*t I did see the a'bino(s sca'p9 +hich +as p'ain'y )isib'e beneath the +hite of her hair 9 t*rn a deep maenta +ith

embarrassment. 7r. a'den had to ca'' e)eryone to order, and +hen peop'e inored him,he s'ammed his fist do+n on his desk and to'd *s that if +e had so damned m*ch to say, +eco*'d say it in a tho*sand +ord essay on the batt'e at /'adensb*r d*rin the ar of 1#12,

do*b'espaced, and d*e on his desk first thin tomorro+ mornin.

h +e''. 5ood thin I +asn(t in schoo' to make friends.


39/127


40/127

#

And yet I did. 7ake friends, I mean.I didn(t try to. I didn(t e)en rea''y +ant to. I mean, I ha)e eno*h friends back in

/rook'yn. I ha)e 5ina, the best friend anybody co*'d ha)e. I didn(t need any more friendsthan that.

And I rea''y didn(t think anybody here +as oin to 'ike me 9 not after ha)in been

assined a tho*sand +ord essay beca*se of +hat happened +hen I sat do+n. And especia''y

not after +hat happened +hen +e +ere informed that it +as time for second period 9 there+as no be'' system at the 7ission -choo', +e chaned c'ass on the ho*r, and had fi)e

min*tes to et to +here +e +ere oin. 0o sooner had 7r. a'den dismissed *s than the

a'bino ir' t*rned aro*nd in her seat and asked, her p*rp'e eyes 'o+in f*rio*s'y behindthe tinted 'enses of her 'asses, "Am I s*pposed to be ratef*' to yo*, or somethin, for

+hat yo* said to


41/127

and khaki skirts. h, no. &he ir's +ho came *p to me +ere a mot'ey b*nch, some acned,

some o)er+eiht, or +ay, +ay too skinny. I +as horrified to see that one +as +earinopentoe shoes +ith reinforced toe pantyhose. /eie pantyhose, too. And +hite shoes. In

Jan*ary>

I co*'d see I +as oin to ha)e my +ork c*t o*t for me.

Cee Cee appeared to be the 'eader of their 'itt'e pack. ?ditor of the schoo' paper, the$%ss%on Ne)s, +hich she ca''ed "more of a 'iterary re)ie+ than an act*a' ne+spaper," Cee

Cee had been in earnest +hen she(d informed me she did not need me to fiht her batt'es forher. -he had p'enty of amm*nition of her o+n, inc'*din a pretty packed arsena' of )erba'

=iners and an etreme'y serio*s +ork ethic. ractica''y the first thin she asked me 9 after

she ot o)er bein mad at me 9 +as if I(d be interested in +ritin a piece for her paper.

"0othin fancy," she said, airi'y. "7aybe *st an essay comparin ?ast Coast and est

Coast teen c*'t*re. I(m s*re yo* m*st see a 'ot of differences bet+een *s and yo*r friendsback in 0e+ ork. haddaya say; 7y readers +o*'d be p'enty interested 9 especia''y ir's

'ike Ke''y and


42/127

stare straiht ahead of him +ith a 'ook of abect sadness on his face. ccasiona''y, ir's

+o*'d +a'k by 9 as ir's +i'' +hen there is a ood'ookin boy nearby 9 and say hi to him,and he(d tear his eyes a+ay from the sea 9 +hich +as +hat he +as starin at 9 and say,

"h, hi," to them before t*rnin his a=e back to those hypnotic +a)es.

It occ*rred to me that -'eepy and his friend miht )ery +e'' be potheads. It +o*'d

ep'ain a 'ot abo*t -'eepy./*t +hen I asked Cee Cee if she kne+ +ho the *y +as, and +hether or not he had a

dr* prob'em, she said, "h, that(s /ryce 7artinson. 0o, he(s not on dr*s. :e(s *st sad,yo* kno+, (ca*se his ir'friend died o)er the break."

"Eea''y;" I che+ed on my corn do. &he food ser)ice at the 7ission Academy 'eft a 'otto be desired. I co*'d see no+ +hy so many kids bro*ht their o+n. &oday(s entree had

been hot dos. I am not kiddin. :ot dos. ":o+(d she die;"

"*t a b*''et in her brain." Adam, the kid from the principa'(s office, had oined *s. :e

+as eatin Cheetos from a iant ba he(d p*''ed from a 'eather backpack. A o*is V*itton

backpack, I miht add. "/'e+ the back of her head a+ay."

ne of the horsey ir's t*rned aro*nd, ha)in o)erheard, and +ent, "5od, Adam. :o+

co'd can yo* et;"Adam shr*ed. ":ey. I didn(t 'ike her +hen she +as a'i)e. I(m not onna say I 'iked her

no+ *st beca*se she(s dead. In fact, if anythin, I hate her more. I heard +e(re a'' oin to

ha)e to do the -tations of the Cross for her on ednesday."

"Eiht." Cee Cee 'ooked dis*sted. "e ha)e to pray for her immorta' so*' since she

committed s*icide and is destined to b*rn in he'' for a'' eternity no+."

Adam 'ooked tho*htf*'. "Eea''y; I tho*ht s*icides +ent to *ratory."

"0o, st*pid. hy do yo* think 7onsinor Constantine +on(t 'et Ke''y ha)e her d*mb

memoria' ser)ice; -*icide is a morta' sin. 7onsinor Constantine +on(t a''o+ a s*icide tobe memoria'i=ed in his ch*rch. :e +on(t e)en 'et her parents b*ry her in consecrated

ro*nd." Cee Cee ro''ed her )io'et eyes. "I ne)er 'iked :eather, b*t I hate7onsinor

Constantine and his st*pid r*'es e)en more. I(m thinkin of doin an artic'e abo*t it, andca''in it6ather, Son, and the Holy Hy+ocr%te."

&he other ir's tittered ner)o*s'y. I +aited *nti' they +ere done and then I asked,

"hy(d she ki'' herse'f;"

Adam 'ooked bored. "/eca*se of /ryce, of co*rse. :e broke *p +ith her."

A pretty b'ack ir' named /ernadette, +ho to+ered o)er the rest of *s at si feet, 'eaned

do+n to +hisper, "I heard he did it at the ma''. Can yo* be'ie)e it;"

Another ir' said, "eah, on Christmas ?)e. &hey +ere Christmas shoppin +ith each

other, and she pointed to this diamond rin in the +indo+ at /erdorf(s, and +as 'ike, (I

+ant that.( And I *ess he freaked 9 yo* kno+, it +as c'ear'y an enaement rin 9 andbroke *p +ith her on the spot."

"And so she +ent home and shot herse'f;" I fo*nd this story etreme'y farfetched.hen I(d asked Cee Cee +here +e +ere s*pposed to ha)e '*nch if, 5od forbid, it sho*'d

happen to rain, she to'd me that e)eryone had to sit in their homeroom and eat, and the n*ns

bro*ht o*t board ames 'ike archeesi for peop'e to p'ay. I +as +onderin if this story,'ike the one abo*t rainyday '*nches, +as an in)ention. Cee Cee +as eact'y the kind of ir'

+ho +o*'d et a kick o*t of 'yin to the ne+ kid 9 not o*t of ma'icio*sness, b*t *st to

am*se herse'f.


43/127

"0ot then," Cee Cee said. "-he tried to et back toether +ith him for a +hi'e. -he

ca''ed him 'ike e)ery ten min*tes, *nti' fina''y his mother to'd her not to ca'' anymore.&hen she started sendin him 'etters, te''in him +hat she +as oin to do 9 yo* kno+, ki''

herse'f if he didn(t et back toether +ith her. hen he didn(t respond, she ot her dad(s

fortyfo*r and dro)e to /ryce(s ho*se and ran the be''."

Adam took *p the narrati)e at this point, so I kne+ ore +as probab'y oin to bein)o')ed. "eah," he said, standin *p so that he co*'d act it, *sin a Cheeto as the *n."&he 7artinsons +ere ha)in a 0e+ ear(s party 9 it +as 0e+ ear(s ?)e 9 so they +ere

home and e)erythin. &hey opened *p the door, and there +as this cra=y ir' on their porch,

+ith a *n to her head. -he said if they didn(t et /ryce, she +as oin to p*'' the trier./*t they co*'dn(t et /ryce, beca*se they(d sent him to Anti*a 9 "

" 9 :opin a 'itt'e s*n and s*rf +o*'d soothe his fra=='ed ner)es," Cee Cee p*t in,"beca*se, yo* kno+, he(s ot his co''ee apps to +orry abo*t riht no+. :e doesn(t need to

ha)e the added press*re of a sta'ker."

Adam 'ared at her, and +ent on, ho'din the Cheeto to the side of his head. "eah,

+e'', that +as a ross error on the part of the 7artinsons. As soon as she heard /ryce +as

o*t of the co*ntry, she p*''ed the trier, and b'e+ o*t the back of her sk*'', and bits of herbrain and st*ff st*ck to the Christmas 'ihts the 7artinsons had str*n *p."

?)eryone b*t me roaned at this partic*'ar detai'. I had other thins on my mind,

ho+e)er. "&he empty chair in homeroom. &he one by +hat(shername 9 Ke''y. &hat +as

the dead ir'(s seat, +asn(t it;"

/ernadette nodded. "eah. &hat(s +hy +e tho*ht it +as so +eird +hen yo* +a'ked pastit. It +as 'ike yo* (ne)that that +as +here :eather had sat. e a'' tho*ht maybe yo*

+ere psychic or somethin 9 "

I didn(t bother te''in them that the reason I hadn(t sat in :eather(s seat had nothin

+hatsoe)er to do +ith bein psychic. I didn(t say anythin, act*a''y. I +as thinkin, 7ee,

$om, n%ce o' you to tell me )hy there )as suddenly th%s s+ace 'or me, )hen be'ore the

school had been too cro)ded to let %n another ne) student.I stared at /ryce. :e +as tanned from his trip to Anti*a. :e sat on the picnic tab'e +ith

his feet on the bench, his e'bo+s on his knees, starin o*t at the acific. A ent'e +ind

t*ed at some of his sandyb'ond hair.

:e has no idea, I tho*ht. :e has no idea at a''. :e thinks his 'ife +as bad no+; J*st

+ait.

J*st +ait.


44/127

C H A P T E R


45/127

$

:e didn(t ha)e to +ait 'on. In fact, it +as riht after '*nch that she came after him. 0otthat he e)er kne+ it, of co*rse. I spotted her immediate'y in the cro+d as e)erybody headed

to+ard their 'ockers. 5hosts ha)e a sort of 'o+ abo*t them that sets them apart from the

'i)in 9 thank 5od, too, or ha'f the time I miht ne)er ha)e kno+n the difference.

Any+ay, there she +as starin daers at him 'ike one of those b'ond kids o*t of 8%lla*e

o' the -amned. eop'e, not kno+in she +as there, kept +a'kin straiht thro*h her. I sortof en)ied them. I +ish hosts +ere in)isib'e to me 'ike they +ere to e)erybody e'se. I kno+

that +o*'d mean I +o*'dn(t ha)e been ab'e to enoy my dad(s company these past fe+

years, b*t, hey, it a'so +o*'d ha)e meant I +o*'dn(t be standin there kno+in :eather +as

abo*t to do somethin horrib'e.0ot that I kne+ +hat it +as she p'anned on doin to him. 5hosts can et pretty ro*h

sometimes. &he trick Jesse had done +ith the mirror +as nothin, rea''y. I()e had obects

thro+n at me +ith eno*h force that, if I hadn(t d*cked, I(d certain'y be one +ith the spirit

+or'd as +e''. I()e had conc*ssions and broken bones a'ore. 7y mom *st thinks I(maccidentprone. eah, 7om. &hat(s riht. I broke my +rist fa''in do+n the stairs. h, and

the reason I fe'' do+n the stairs is that the host of a threeh*ndredyearo'd con@*istador

p*shed me.

&he min*te I sa+ :eather, tho*h, I kne+ she +as *p to no ood. I +as not basin thisass*mption on my pre)io*s interaction +ith her. h, no. -ee, I fo''o+ed the direction of

:eather(s a=e, and sa+ that it +asn(t /ryce, eact'y, that she +as starin at. It +as act*a''y

one of the rafters in the section of bree=e+ay beneath +hich /ryce +as +a'kin that hadattracted her attention. And as I stood there, I sa+ the timber start to shake. 0ot the +ho'ebree=e+ay. h, no. J*st one sin'e, hea)y piece. &he piece direct'y o)er /ryce(s head.

I acted +itho*t tho*ht. I thre+ myse'f as hard as I co*'d at /ryce. e both +ent f'yin.

And ood thin, too. /eca*se +e +ere sti'' ro''in +hen I heard an enormo*s ep'osion. I

d*cked my head to shie'd my eyes, so I didn(t act*a''y see the piece of timber ep'ode. /*tI heard it. And I fe't it, too. &hose tiny sp'inters of +ood hurtas they pe'ted me. 5ood thin

I +as +earin +oo' s'acks, too.

/ryce 'ay so sti'' beneath me that I tho*ht maybe a ch*nk of +ood had ot him

bet+een the fronta' 'obes, or somethin. /*t +hen I 'ifted my face from his chest, I sa+

that he +as okay 9 he +as *st starin, horrified, at the teninchthick p'ank of +ood, near'y

t+o feet 'on, that 'ay a fe+ feet a+ay from *s. A'' aro*nd *s +ere scattered shards of+ood that had broken off the main piece. I *ess /ryce +as rea'i=in that if that p'ank had

s*cceeded in sp'interin his crani*m, there(d ha)e been 'itt'e pieces of /ryce scattered a''aro*nd that stone f'oor, too.

"?c*se me. ?c*se me 9 " I heard Father


46/127

"5ood 5od in hea)en," he cried, h*rryin to+ard *s. "Are yo* chi'dren a'' riht;

-*sannah, are yo* h*rt; /ryce;"

I sat *p s'o+'y. I fre@*ent'y ha)e to check for broken bones, and ha)e fo*nd, o)er the

years, that the s'o+er yo* et *p, the more chance yo* ha)e at disco)erin +hat(s broken,and the 'ess chance there is yo*('' p*t +eiht on it.

/*t in this partic*'ar case, nothin seemed broken. I ot to my feet."5ood racio*s," Father


47/127

"5od, +hat a p*shead>" I said, as soon as +e +ere safe'y behind the c'osed door to the

principa'(s office. "Is he kiddin, thinkin a co*p'e of birds co*'d do that;"

Father


48/127

I 'a*hed. ":o+ are yo* oin to do that; &e'' him his dead ir'friend(s tryin to ki''

him; h, yeah, that('' o o)er +e'' +ith the monsinor."

"0ot at a''." Father " I fe't myse'f o pa'e. "o*(re oin to poison him; I tho*ht yo* +ere a

priest> Isn(t there a r*'e aainst that sort of thin;""oison; 0o, no, -*sannah. I +as thinkin of i)in him head 'ice. &he n*rse checks for

them once a semester. I('' *st see that yo*n 7r. 7artinson comes do+n +ith a bad case of

them 9 "

"h my 5od>" I shrieked. "&hat(s dis*stin> o* can(t p*t 'ice in that *y(s hair>"

Father


49/127

before she(d 'et me o on do+n the corridor +hen a side door marked0DE-?opened, and

o*t stepped /ryce +ith a ha'' pass of his o+n.

":ey," I co*'dn(t he'p b'*rtin o*t. "hat happened;


50/127

:e 'ooked taken aback. "hat;"

"e'', yo*r ass*mption that she ki''ed herse'f beca*se yo* broke *p +ith her. I don(t

think that(s +hy she ki''ed herse'f at a''. -he ki''ed herse'f beca*se she +as sick. o* had

nothin to do +ith makin her that +ay. o*r breakin *p +ith her may ha)e acted as asort of cata'yst for her fina' breakdo+n, b*t it co*'d *st ha)e easi'y been some other crisis

in her 'ife 9 her parents ettin di)orced, her not makin the cheer'eader s@*ad, her catdyin. Anythin. -o try not to be so hard on yo*rse'f." e +ere at the door to myc'assroom 9 eometry, I think it +as, +ith -ister 7ary Catherine. I t*rned to him and took

my coat back. "e'', this is my stop. &hanks for the 'ift."

:e he'd onto one s'ee)e of my coat. ":ey," he said, 'ookin do+n at me. It +as hard to

see his eyes 9 it +as pretty dark beneath the bree=e+ay, shado+ed as it +as from the s*n.

/*t I remembered from +hen +e(d fa''en do+n toether that his eyes +ere b'*e. A rea''ynice b'*e. ":ey, 'isten," he said. "et me take yo* o*t toniht. &o thank yo* for sa)in my

'ife, and e)erythin."

"&hanks," I said, i)in my coat a t*. "/*t I a'ready ha)e p'ans." I didn(t add that my

p'ans in)o')ed him in a most intimate manner.

"&omorro+ niht, then," he said, sti'' not re'in@*ishin my coat."ook," I said. "I(m not a''o+ed to o o*t on schoo' nihts."

&his +as patent'y *ntr*e. ?cept for the fact that the po'ice ha)e bro*ht me home a fe+

times, my mother tr*sted me imp'icit'y. If I +anted to o o*t +ith a boy on a schoo' niht,

she(d ha)e 'et me. &he thin is, the s*bect had ne)er rea''y come *p, no boy e)er ha)inoffered to take me o*t, on a schoo' niht or any other for that matter.

0ot that I(m a do, or anythin. I mean, I(m no Cindy Cra+ford, b*t I(m not eact'y

b*sted, either. I *ess the tr*th of the matter is, I +as a'+ays considered somethin of a

+eirdo in my o'd schoo'. 5ir's +ho spend a 'ot of time ta'kin to themse')es and ettin intro*b'e +ith the po'ice enera''y are.


51/127

"atch yo*r back."

I think he +inked at me, b*t it +as kind of hard to te'' in the shade.


52/127

C H A P T E R


53/127

%

hen I c'imbed into the Eamb'er at the end of the day,


54/127

reat )io'ence 9 perhaps e)en a m*rder 9 and that some remnant of the )ictim 9 ca'' it the

so*', if yo* +i'' 9 sti'' '*rks here, perhaps in the )ain hope of ainin *stice for his*ntime'y death."

I 'eaned aainst one of the posts of my bedframe. I had to, or I miht ha)e fa''en do+n."5ee," I said, keepin my )oice steady +ith an effort. "ay to make a ir' fee' +e'come."


55/127

ye''in in my ear, and -*=e, if yo* don(t mo)e yo*r bi head o*t of the mirror I('' ne)er be

ab'e to see +here the he'' +e(re oin. "

&he phone ca'' came after dinner. 7y mother had to scream *p the stairs at me beca*se I

had my head phones on. ?)en tho*h it +as on'y the first day of the ne+ semester, I had a'ot of home+ork to do, especia''y in 5eometry. e(d on'y been on Chapter -e)en back in

my o'd schoo'. &he 7ission Academy sophomores +ere a'ready on Chapter &+e')e. Ikne+ I +as pretty m*ch dead meat if I didn(t start tryin to catch *p.

hen I came do+nstairs to pick *p the phone, my mom +as a'ready so mad at me formakin her scream 9 she has to +atch her )oca' chords for her ob and e)erythin 9 that she

+o*'dn(t te'' me +ho it +as. I picked *p the recei)er and +ent, ":e''o;"

&here +as a pa*se, and then Father


56/127

"h, nothin. I +as *st thinkin abo*t yo*. hat do yo* +ant to do on -at*rday; I

mean, do yo* +ant to o to dinner, or to a mo)ie, or both, maybe;"

&he other 'ine +ent off. I said, "/ryce, I(m rea''y sorry, it(s a =oo here, co*'d yo* han

on a min*te; &hanks. :e''o;"

A ir'(s )oice I(d ne)er heard before said, "h, hi, is this -*=e;"

"-peakin," I said."h, hi, -*=ie. It(s Ke''y. Ke''y rescott, from yo*r homeroom; isten, I *st +anted to

'et yo* kno+ H +hat yo* did today for /ryce 9 that +as so rihteo*s. I mean, I ha)e ne)erin my 'ife seen anythin so bra)e. &hey sho*'d tota''y p*t yo* on the ne+s, or somethin.

Any+ay, I(m ha)in a 'itt'e ettoether at my p'ace this -at*rday 9 nothin m*ch, *st a

poo' party, my fo'ks('' be o*t of to+n, and o*r poo'(s heated, of co*rse 9 so I tho*ht, if yo*+anted, maybe yo* co*'d stop by."

I stood there, ho'din the phone, tota''y st*nned. Ke''y rescott, the richest, mostbea*tif*' ir' in the entire sophomore c'ass +as in)itin me to a poo' party on the same

niht I +as oin o*t on a date +ith the seiest boy in schoo'. ho happened to be on the

other 'ine.

"eah, s*re, Ke''y," I said. "I(d 'o)e to. " he ye''ed, oyf*''y. "0o freakin( +ay>"

":ey>" Andy rapped him on the head. "atch the 'an*ae."

I ot back on +ith /ryce. " eah, I hate hea'th food, too. &here(s nothin 'ike a rea''y ood

piece of meat, yo* kno+, +ith some fries on the side, and some ra)y 9 "

"Dh, yeah, riht, /ryce. isten, that(s my ca'' +aitin aain, I(m rea''y sorry, b*t I ha)e

to o, okay; I('' ta'k to yo* tomorro+ in schoo'."

"h. kay." /ryce so*nded taken aback. I *ess I +as the first ir' +ho(d e)er ans+ered

her ca'' +aitin +hen he +as on the 'ine. "/ye, -*=e. And, *h, thanks aain."

"0o prob'em. Anytime." I hit the recei)er. ":e''o;"

"-*=e> It(s Cee Cee>"

In the backro*nd, I heard Adam ye'', "And me, too>"

":ey, ir'friend," Cee Cee said, "+e(re headin do+n to the C'*tch. ant *s to pick yo*

*p; Adam *st ot his 'icense.""I(m 'ea'>" Adam sho*ted into the phone.

"&he C'*tch;"

"eah, the Coffee C'*tch, do+nto+n. o* drink coffee, don(t yo*; I mean, aren(t yo*,

'ike, from 0e+ ork;"

I had to think abo*t that one. "Dh, yeah. &he thin is 9 I sort of ha)e somethin I ha)e to

do."


57/127

"h, come on. hat do yo* ha)e to do; ash yo*r cape; I mean, I kno+ yo*(re a bi

hero and a'' of that, and probab'y don(t ha)e time for *s 'itt'e peop'e, b*t 9 "

"I ha)en(t finished my tho*sand +ord essay on the batt'e of /'adensb*r for 7r.

a'den," I said. "And I()e ot a 'ot of 5eometry to do if I(m oin to catch *p to yo*eni*ses."

"h, a+d," Cee Cee said. "A'' r%*ht. /*t yo* ha)e to promise to sit by *s at '*nchtomorro+. e +ant to hear a'' abo*t ho+ yo* pressed yo*r body *p aainst /ryce(s and

+hat it fe't 'ike and a'' that st*ff."

"I don(t( Adam dec'ared, so*ndin horrified.

"kay," Cee Cee said. "-o+ant to hear a'' abo*t it."

I ass*red her I(d spare no detai' and h*n *p. &hen I 'ooked do+n at the phone. &o my

re'ief, it did not rin aain. I co*'dn(t @*ite be'ie)e it. 0e)er in my 'ife had I been so

pop*'ar. It +as )e%rd.

I had 'ied abo*t my home+ork, of co*rse. &he essay +as done, and I had +orkedthro*h t+o chapters of 5eometry 9 abo*t a'' I co*'d hand'e in one niht. &he tr*th, of

co*rse, +as that I had an errand to r*n, and I had a bit of preparation to do for it.

o* don(t need a +ho'e 'ot of too's to do a mediation. I mean, a'' that st*ff abo*t crossesand ho'y +ater, I *ess yo* need those thins to ki'' a )ampire 9 and I can te'' yo* riht

no+ that I ha)e ne)er in my 'ife met a )ampire, and I()e spent a lotof time in ra)eyards 9b*t for hosts, +e'', yo* sort of ha)e to +in it.

-ometimes, tho*h, to et the ob done riht, yo* ha)e to do a 'itt'e breakin and

enterin. For that yo* need some too's. I hih'y recommend *st *sin st*ff yo* find on site

beca*se then yo* don(t ha)e a 'ot to carry. /*t I do ha)e a too' be't +ith a f'ash'iht andsome scre+dri)ers and p'iers and st*ff, +hich I +ear o)er a pair of b'ack 'eins. I +as

fastenin this on at aro*nd midniht, satisfied that e)eryone e'se in the ho*se +as as'eep 9

inc'*din -'eepy, +ho +as back from his pi==a ro*nd by then 9 and had *st shr*ed into

my motorcyc'e acket +hen I ot a )isit from ood o'd yo*kno++ho.

"Jee=," I said, +hen I ca*ht a 'impse of his ref'ection behind mine in the mirror into+hich I +as primpin. I s+ear, I()e been seein hosts for years, b*t it sti'' freaks me o*t

e)ery time one of them materia'i=es in front of me. I sp*n aro*nd, anry not so m*ch that

he +as there, b*t beca*se he(d manaed to catch me so *na+are. "hy are yo* sti''hanin aro*nd; I tho*ht I to'd yo* to et 'ost."

Jesse +as 'eanin )ery cas*a''y aainst one of the posts to my bed. :is darkeyed a=ero)ed from the top of my hooded head to the toes of my b'ack hihtops. "It(s a 'itt'e 'ate to

be oin o*t, don(t yo* think, -*sannah;" he asked as con)ersationa''y as if +e(d been in

the midd'e of a disc*ssion abo*t, oh, I don(t kno+, the second F*iti)e -'a)e Act, +hich Ibe'ie)e had been enacted at or aro*nd the time he(d died.

"Dh," I said, p*''in the hood back. "ook, no offense, Jesse, b*t this is my room. :o+

abo*t yo* try ettin o*t of it; And my b*siness, too, p'ease;"Jesse didn(t mo)e. "o*r mother +on(t 'ike yo*r oin o*t so 'ate at niht."

"7y mother." I 'ared at him. Dp at him, I sho*'d say. :e +as rea''y disconcertin'y ta''

for someone +ho +as dead. "hat +o*'dyoukno+ abo*t my mother;"

"I 'ike yo*r mother )ery m*ch," Jesse said ca'm'y. "-he is a ood +oman. o* are )ery

'*cky to ha)e a mother +ho 'o)es yo* so )ery m*ch. It +o*'d *pset her, I think, to see yo*

p*ttin yo*rse'f in the path of daner."


58/127

&he path of daner. Eiht> "eah, +e'', ne+s f'ash, Jesse. I()e been sneakin o*t at

niht for a 'on time, and my mom(s ne)er said boo abo*t it before. -he kno+s I can takecare of myse'f."

kay, a 'ie, b*t hey, ho+ +as he to kno+;

"Can yo*;" Jesse 'ifted a b'ack eyebro+ d*bio*s'y. I co*'dn(t he'p noticin that there

+as a raised scar s'iced thro*h the midd'e of that eyebro+, 'ike someone had taken as+ipe at Jesse(s face once +ith a knife. I sort of *nderstood the fee'in. ?specia''y +hen he

'et o*t a ch*ck'e, and said, "I don(t think so, uer%da. 0ot in this case."

I he'd *p both my hands. "kay. 0*mber one, don(t ca'' me st*ff in -panish. 0*mber

t+o, yo* don(t e)en kno+ +here I(m oin, so I s*est yo* *st et off my back."

"/*t I do kno+ +here yo*(re oin, -*sannah. o* are oin do+n to the schoo' to ta'kto the ir' +ho is tryin to ki'' that boy, that boy yo* seem 6 fond of. /*t I(m te''in yo*,

uer%da, she is too m*ch for yo* to hand'e a'one. If yo* m*st o, yo* o*ht to ha)e the

priest +ith yo*."

I stared at him. I had a fee'in my eyes +ere probab'y b*in o*t, b*t I rea''y co*'dn(t

be'ie)e it. "hat;" I sp*ttered. ":o+ co*'d yo* kno+ a'' that; Are yo* 6 are yo*stal(%n*

me;":e m*st ha)e rea'i=ed from my epression that he(d said the +ron thin, since he

straihtened *p and said, "I don(t kno+ +hat that +ord means,stal(%n*. A'' I kno+ is that

yo* are +a'kin into harm(s +ay."

"o*()e been fo''o+in me," I said, stabbin a finer at him acc*sin'y. ":a)en(t yo*;

5od, Jesse, I a'ready ha)e an o'der brother, thank yo* )ery m*ch. I don(t need yo* oinaro*nd spyin 9 "

"h, yes," Jesse said, )ery sarcastica''y. "&his brother cares for yo* )ery m*ch. A'most

as m*ch as he cares abo*t his s'eep."

":ey>" I said, comin, aainst a'' odds, to -'eepy(s defense. ":e +orks nihts, okay;

:e(s sa)in *p for a Camaro>"

Jesse made +hat I(m @*ite s*re +as a r*de est*re 9 back in 1#%. "o*," he said,"aren(t oin any+here."

"h, yeah;" I t*rned hee' and stormed to+ard the door. "&ry and stop me, cada)er

breath."

:e did a ood ob. 7y hand +as on the doorknob +hen the deadbo't s'id into p'ace. Ihadn(t e)en rea'i=ed before that there +as a deadbo't on my door 9 it m*st ha)e been an

ancient one. &he hand'e to it +as one, and 5od on'y kne+, the key m*st ha)e 'on since

been 'ost.

I stood there for ha'f a min*te, starin do+n at my hand in +onder as it p*''ed f*ti'e'y

on the knob. &hen I took a deep c'eansin breath, the +ay my mom(s therapist hads*ested. -he hadn(t meant I sho*'d do this +hen dea'in +ith a sta'ker host. -he *st

meant to do it in enera', +hene)er I +as fee'in stressed./*t it he'ped. It he'ped a 'ot.

"kay," I said, t*rnin aro*nd. "Jesse. &his is +ay *ncoo'."

Jesse 'ooked pretty *ncomfortab'e. I co*'d te'' as soon as I 'ooked at him that he +asn(t

)ery happy +ith +hat he(d done. hate)er had otten him ki''ed in his pre)io*s 'ife, it

+asn(t beca*se he +as innate'y cr*e', or enoyed h*rtin peop'e. :e +as a ood *y. r at'east, he +as tryin to be.


59/127

"I can(t," he said in front of -*sannah. "-*sannah.


60/127

C H A P T E R


61/127


62/127

hi'' and a'', that if I(d stopped I(d probab'y ha)e one riht o)er the hand'ebars. -o I kept on

oin, narro+'y a)oidin ettin hit by a pick*p, and then, I don(t kno+ ho+, I +as p*''ininto the schoo' parkin 'ot.

&he 7ission 'ooked a 'ot different at niht than it did d*rin the day. For one thin,d*rin the day the parkin 'ot +as a'+ays f*'', packed +ith cars be'onin to teachers,

st*dents, and to*rists )isitin the ch*rch. &he 'ot +as empty no+, not a sin'e car, and so@*iet that yo* co*'d hear, +ay off in the distance, the so*nd of +a)es hittin Carme' /each.

&he other thin +as that, for to*rist reasons, I *ess, they had set *p these spot'ihts toshine on certain parts of the b*i'din, 'ike the dome 9 it +as a'' 'it *p 9 and the front of the

ch*rch, +ith its h*e arched entrance+ay. &he back of the b*i'din, +here I p*''ed *p, +as

pretty dark. hich s*ited me fine act*a''y. I hid the bike behind a d*mpster, 'ea)in the

he'met dan'in from one of the hand'es, and +ent *p to a +indo+. &he 7ission +as b*i't'ike a bi=i''ion years ao, back +hen they didn(t ha)e air conditionin or centra' heatin, so

to keep coo' in s*mmer and +arm in +inter, peop'e b*i't their ho*ses rea''y thick. &hat

meant that a'' the +indo+s in the 7ission +ere set back abo*t a foot into the adobe, +ithanother foot stickin o*t into the room behind them.

I c'imbed *p onto one of these b*i'tin +indo+ seats, 'ookin aro*nd first to make s*reno one sa+ me. /*t there +asn(t anybody aro*nd ecept a co*p'e of raccoons +ho +ere

rootin aro*nd the d*mpster for some of the '*nch 'efto)ers. &hen I c*pped my hands o)er

my face, to c*t o*t the 'iht of the moon, and peered inside.

It +as 7r. a'den(s c'assroom. ith the moon'iht f'oodin into it, I co*'d see hishand+ritin on the cha'kboard, and the bi poster of /ob


63/127

5eesh. It +as a ood thin Father -erra +as ood and dead. I had a fee'in that stat*e

+o*'d ha)e comp'ete'y embarrassed him.

&he bree=e+ay +as empty, as +as the co*rtyard. 0o one +as aro*nd. A'' I co*'d hear

+as the ent'e sp'ash of the +ater in the fo*ntain and the chirpin of crickets hidden in thearden. It +as a sort of restf*' p'ace, act*a''y, +hich +as s*rprisin. I mean, none of my

other schoo's had e)er str*ck me as restf*'. At 'east, this one did, *nti' this hard )oicebehind me +ent, "hat areyoudoin here;"

I sp*n aro*nd, and there she +as. J*st 'eanin *p aainst her 'ocker 9 ec*se me, my'ocker 9 and 'arin at me, her arms fo'ded across her chest. -he +as +earin a pair of

charcoa' co'ored s'acks 9 nice ones 9 and a rey cashmere s+eater set. -he had an adda

pear' neck'ace aro*nd her neck, one pear' for e)ery Christmas and birthday she(d been

a'i)e, i)en to her, no do*bt, by a set of dotin randparents. n her feet +ere a pair ofshiny b'ack 'oafers. :er hair, as shiny as her shoes in the ye''o+ 'iht from the f'ood'amps,

'ooked smooth and o'den. -he rea''y +as a bea*tif*' ir'.

&oo bad she had b'o+n her head off.

":eather," I said, p*shin the hood of my s+eatshirt do+n. ":i. I(m sorry to bother yo*

9 " It a'+ays he'ps at 'east to start o*t po'ite. " 9 b*t I rea''y think +e need to ta'k, yo* andI."

:eather didn(t mo)e. e'', that(s not tr*e. :er eyes narro+ed. &hey +ere pa'e eyes,rey, I think, tho*h it +as hard to te'', in spite of the f'ood'amps. &he 'on eye'ashes 9

dark +ith mascara 9 +ere tastef*''y rined in charcoa' 'iner.

"&a'k;" :eather echoed. "h, yeah. ike I rea''y +ant to ta'k toyou. I kno+ abo*t yo*,

Su%e."

I +inced. I co*'dn(t he'p it. "It(s -*=e," I said.

"hate)er. I kno+ +hat yo*(re doin here."

"e'', ood," I said. "&hen I don(t ha)e to ep'ain. o* +ant to o sit do+n, so +e can

ta'k;"

"&a'k; hy +o*'d I +ant to ta'k toyou; hat do yo* think I am, st*pid; 5od, yo*think yo*(re so s'y. o* think yo* can *st mo)e riht in, don(t yo*;"

I b'inked at her. "I be yo*r pardon;"

"Into my p'ace." -he straihtened, and stepped a+ay from the 'ocker, and +a'ked to+ard

the co*rtyard as if she +ere admirin the fo*ntain. "o*," she said, tossin me a 'ook o)erher sho*'der. "&he ne+ ir'. &he ne+ ir' +ho thinks she can *st s'ip riht into the p'ace I

'eft behind. o*()e a'ready ot my 'ocker. o*(re on yo*r +ay to stea'in my best friend. I

kno+ Ke''y ca''ed yo* and asked yo* to her st*pid party. And no+ yo* think yo* can stea'my boyfriend."

I p*t my hands on my hips. ":e(s not yo*r boyfriend, :eather, remember; :e broke *p+ith yo*. &hat(s +hy yo*(re dead. o* b'e+ yo*r brains o*t in front of his mother."

:eather(s eyes +idened. "-h*t *p," she said."o* b'e+ yo*r brains o*t in front of his mother beca*se yo* +ere too st*pid to rea'i=e

that no boy 9 not e)en /ryce 7artinson 9 is +orth dyin for." I stro''ed past her, o*t onto

one of the ra)e' path+ays bet+een the arden beds. I didn(t +ant to admit it, not e)en to

myse'f, b*t it +as makin me a 'itt'e ner)o*s, standin *nder the bree=e+ay after +hat hadhappened to /ryce. "/oy, yo* m*st ha)e been mad +hen yo* rea'i=ed +hat yo*(d done.

Ki''ed yo*rse'f. And o)er somethin so st*pid. /eca*se of a *y."


64/127

"-h*t *p>" &his time she didn(t *st say it. -he screamed it, so 'o*d that she had to ba''

her hands *p into fists at her sides, c'ose her eyes, and h*nch *p her sho*'ders to do it. &hescream +as so 'o*d, my ears +ere rinin after+ard. /*t no one came r*nnin from the

rectory, +here I sa+ a fe+ 'ihts on. &he mo*rnin do)es that I(d heard cooin in the ea)es

of the bree=e+ay hadn(t *ttered a peep since :eather had sho+n *p, and the crickets had c*t

short their midniht serenade.eop'e can(t hear hosts 9 +e'', most peop'e, any+ay 9 b*t the same can(t be said foranima's and e)en insects. &hey are hypera'ert to the presence of the paranorma'. 7a, the

Ackermans( do, +on(t o near my room thanks to Jesse.

"It(s no *se yo*r screamin 'ike that," I said. "0o one b*t me can hear it."

"I('' scream a'' I +ant," she shrieked. And then she proceeded to do so.

a+nin, I +ent and sat do+n on one of the +ooden benches by Father -erra(s stat*e.

&here +as a p'a@*e, I noticed, at the stat*e(s base. I co*'d read it easi'y +ith the he'p of the

f'ood'amps and the moon.

The 8enerable 6ather o* et o*t, yo* o backto +here yo* came from. ?)erythin +as *st fine before yo* ot here 9 "

I had to interr*pt. "I(m sorry, :eather, b*t e)erythin +as not*st fine before I ot here.o* kno+ ho+ I kno+ that; /eca*se yo*(re dead. kay; ou are dead.


65/127

"I don(t 'ike it here," she said, soft'y. "0o one can see me. J*st yo* and FFather

"

":eather, I didn(t 'ie. I *st meant that yo*r 'ife 9 +e'', yo*r 'ife is o)er. :eather, yo*

ended it yo*rse'f. I kno+ that s*cks, b*t hey, yo* sho*'d ha)e tho*ht of that 9 "

-he c*t me off +ith an *nearth'y 9 +e'', of co*rse 9 +ai'. "I +on(t 'et yo*," she shrieked.

"I +on(t 'et yo* take o)er my 'ife>"

":eather, I to'd yo*, I(m not tryin to. I ha)e my o+n 'ife. I don(t need yo*rs 9 "

ith the crickets and the birds si'ent, the so*nd of the +ater b*rb'in in the fo*ntain a

fe+ yards a+ay had been the on'y noise in the co*rtyard 9 +ith the eception of :eather(s

screamin, that is. /*t the +ater so*nded strane, s*dden'y. It +as makin a f*nny poppin

noise. I 'ooked to+ard it, and sa+ that steam +as risin from its s*rface. I +o*'dn(t ha)e


66/127

tho*ht that +as so strane 9 it +as co'd o*t, and the +ater temperat*re miht ha)e been

+armer than the air aro*nd it 9 if I hadn(t seen a reat bi b*bb'e b*rst s*dden'y on the+ater(s s*rface.

&hat(s +hen it hit me. -he +as makin the +ater boi'. -he +as makin the +ater boi'+ith the force of her rae.

":eather," I said, from my bench. ":eather, 'isten to me. o*()e ot to ca'm do+n. ecan(t ta'k +hen yo*(re 9 "

"o*6said6" :eather(s eyes, I +as a'armed to see, had ro''ed back into her head. "I 6

co*'d 6 start 6 o)er>"

kay. It +as time to do somethin. I didn(t need the bench beneath me to start shakin

so )io'ent'y that I +as near'y thro+n from it. I kne+ it +as time to et *p.

I did so, fast. Fast so that I +o*'dn(t et hit by the bench. Fast so that I co*'d reach

:eather before she noticed, and deck her as hard as I co*'d +ith a riht beneath the chin.

n'y to my astonishment, she didn(t e)en seem to fee' it. -he +as too far one. ay toofar one. :ittin her had no effect +hatsoe)er 9 ecept that it rea''y h*rt my kn*ck'es. And,

of co*rse, it seemed to make her e)en madder, a'+ays a p'*s +hen dea'in +ith a se)ere'y

dist*rbed indi)id*a'."o*," :eather said, in a deep )oice that +as nothin 'ike her norma' cheer'eader chirp,

"are oin to be sorry no+."

&he +ater in the fo*ntain s*dden'y reached boi'in point. 5iant +a)es of it beans'oshin o)er the side of the basin. &he ets, +hich norma''y b*bb'ed a mere fo*r feet into

the air, s*dden'y shot *p to ten, t+enty feet, cascadin back do+n into a b*bb'in, steamin

ca*'dron. &he birds in the treetops took off as one, their +ins momentari'y b'ockin o*tthe 'iht from the moon.

I had a f*nny fee'in :eather +as serio*s. hat(s more, I had a fee'in she co*'d do it,too. itho*t e)en 'iftin a finer.

And I had confirmation of that fact +hen s*dden'y, J*nipero -erra(s head +as +hipped

from his stat*e(s body. &hat(s riht. It *st snapped off as easi'y as if the so'id bron=e it +asmade o*t of +as act*a''y sp*n candy. 0oise'ess'y, too, she broke it off. &he head h*n inthe air for a moment, its 'ook of sympathetic compassion transformed from the bi=arre

an'e at +hich it h*n o)er my face into a demonic sneer. &hen, as I stood there, transfied,

starin at the +ay the f'ood'ihts +inked aainst the meta' ba'', I sa+ it dip s*dden'y6

&hen p'*ne to+ard me, h*rt'in so fast it +as on'y a b'*r in the niht sky, 'ike a comet,

or a 9

I didn(t et a chance to think +hat e'se it reminded me of beca*se a sp'it second 'atersomethin hea)y hit me in the stomach and sent me spra+'in to the dirt, +here I 'ay,

'ookin *p at the starry sky. It +assopretty. &he niht +as so b'ack, and the stars so co'd

and far off and t+ink'y 9

"5et *p>" A man(s )oice so*nded harsh'y in my ear. "I tho*ht yo* +ere s*pposed to beood at this>"

-omethin ep'oded in the dirt *st an inch from my cheek. I t*rned my head and sa+

J*nipero -erra(s head rinnin obscene'y at me.

&hen Jesse +as yankin me to my feet and p*''in me to+ard the bree=e+ay.


67/127

C H A P T E R


68/127

11

e made it back into 7r. a'den(s c'assroom. I don(t kno+ ho+, b*t +e did it, thestat*e(s head h*rt'in after *s the +ho'e +ay, the )e'ocity +ith +hich it +as tra)e'in

ca*sin it to +hist'e eeri'y, as if Father -erra +ere screamin. &he head co''ided +ith a''

the force of a cannonba'' aainst the hea)y +ooden door, *st as +e s'ammed it c'osedbehind *s.

""

I +as tryin to catch my breath, think +hat to do. I had ne)er seen anythin 'ike that.0e)er. "-h*t *p," I said.

"Cada)er breath." Jesse t*rned his head to 'ook do+n at me. :is chest +as risin andfa''in. "


69/127

kay, 'et me state riht no+ that I am not a co+ard. I(m rea''y not. /*t I(m not a foo',

either. I think if yo* reconi=e that yo* are *p aainst a force reater than yo*r o+n, it isperfect'y okay to r*n.

It(s not okay to 'ea)e others behind, tho*h.

"" I screamed, thro*h the +indo+.

"I tho*ht I to'd yo*," said a )ery irritated )oice from behind me, "to r*n."I asped and sp*n aro*nd. Jesse stood there on the aspha't of the parkin 'ot, the moon

at his back, castin his face into shado+.

"h my 5od." 7y heart +as beatin so fast, I tho*ht it +as oin to ep'ode. I hadne)er been so scared in a'' my 'ife. 0e)er.

7aybe that(s +hy I did +hat I did net, +hich +as reach o*t and rab the front of Jesse(sshirt in both my hands. "h my 5od," I said, aain. "Jesse, are yo* a'' riht;"

"f co*rse I(m a'' riht." :e so*nded s*rprised I(d e)en bother to ask. And I *ess it

)asst*pid. hat co*'d :eather do to Jesse, after a''; -he co*'dn(t eact'y ki'' him. "Are

youa'' riht;"

"7e; I(m fine." I t*rned my head to search the darkened +indo+s of 7r. a'den(s

c'assroom. " e co*'d ca'' his ho*se and I co*'d dis*ise my )oice, and I co*'d be 'ike (


70/127

"r +e co*'d ha)e Father e co*'d ha)e Father


71/127

hard to te'' +ith hosts, since their spirits tend to take on the shape their body +as in *st

before they stopped f*nctionin. 7y dad, for instance, doesn(t 'ook any different +hen heappears to me no+ than he did the day before he +ent o*t for that fata' o aro*nd rospect

ark ten years ao.

I co*'d on'y ass*me Jesse had died at someone e'se(s hands since he 'ooked pretty

damned hea'thy to me. Chances +ere he(d been a )ictim of one of those b*''et ho'esdo+nstairs. 0ice of Andy to frame it for posterity(s sake.

And no+ this etreme'y nice'ookin host 'ooked as if he +ere oin to kiss me. e'',+ho +as I to stop him;

-o I sort of 'eaned my head back and 'ooked o*t at him from *nderneath my eye'ids, andsort of 'et my mo*th et a'' re'aed, yo* kno+; And that(s +hen I noticed his attention

+asn(t foc*sed any+here near my 'ips, b*t +ay be'o+ them. And not my chest, either,

+hich +o*'d ha)e been an okay second.

"o*(re b'eedin," he said.

e'', that pretty m*ch spoi'ed the moment. 7y eyes popped +ide open at thatremark.

"I am not," I said a*tomatica''y since I didn(t fee' any pain. &hen I 'ooked do+n. &here

+ere sma''ish stains f'o+erin on the pa)ement be'o+ my feet. o* co*'dn(t te'' +hat co'orthey +ere beca*se it +as so dark. In the moon'iht, they 'ooked b'ack. &here +ere simi'ar

dark stains, I sa+ +ith horror, on the front of Jesse(s shirt.

/*t they +ere definite'y comin from me. I checked myse'f o*t, and fo*nd that I(d

manaed to open +hat +as probab'y one of the sma''er, b*t sti'' fair'y important, )eins in

my +rist. I(d pee'ed off my 'o)es and st*ffed them in my pockets +hi'e I(d been ta'kin to:eather, and in my haste to escape d*rin her fit of rae, I(d forotten to p*t them back on.

I(d probab'y s'iced myse'f on the broken 'ass sti'' 'itterin the +indo+si'' in 7r. a'den(s

c'assroom +hen I(d )a*'ted *p onto it d*rin my escape. hich *st pro)ed my theory thatit(s a'+ays on the +ay o*t that yo* et st*ck.

"h," I said, +atchin the b'ood oo=e o*t. I co*'dn(t think of anythin e'se to say b*t,

"hat a mess. I(m sorry abo*t yo*r shirt.""It(s nothin." Jesse reached into one of the pockets of his dark, narro+fittin tro*sers

and p*''ed o*t somethin +hite and soft that he +rapped aro*nd my +rist a fe+ times, then

tied into p'ace 'ike a to*rni@*et, on'y not as tiht. :e didn(t say anythin as he did this,concentratin on +hat he +as doin. I ha)e to say this +as the first time a host had e)er

performed first aid on me. 0ot @*ite as interestin as a kiss +o*'d ha)e been, b*t not

entire'y borin, either.

"&here," he said +hen he +as finished. "


72/127

/*t Jesse. Jesse had come thro*h for me. And I hadn(t e)en asked him to. In fact, I(d

been pretty *np'easant to him, o)era'