Mentoring & Coaching Monthly

Volume V Issue II February 2018

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Contents:

In this Issue ...................................................... 1

Letter from the EditorAbout Us .......................................................... 2

Interview with Dr. Marsha Carr ....................... 3

Interview with Dr. Marsha Carr Continued ...... 4

Mentoring Tips In the News ...................................................... 5

Contact Us Social MediaUpcoming Events ............................................. 6

In This IssueWelcome back to Mentoring & Coaching Monthly! This month's issue highlights the work of Dr. Marsha Carr in the field of self-mentoring. Dr. Carr serves as Interim Chair of the Educational Leadership department at the University of North Carolina–Wilmington and as a board member for the Interna-tional Mentoring Association. She is also an international con-sultant in self-mentoring, and has trademarked the term through her startup, Edu-Tell, LLC. Keep reading to learn more about self-mentoring and how Marsha uses it in her day-to-day rou-tine!

This issue also offers the latest in mentoring and coaching news, as well as tips and upcoming events.

To view more upcoming events, please visit us on our website.

Appreciating Mentoring this Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day mentors and coaches!

Valentine's Day is a wonderful time to show the important peo-ple in our lives how much we love and appreciate them. For our mentees, in particular, we must use this time to let them know how much they are truly cared for. Mentees who feel like they can really trust their mentor, and rely on them for support and advice, will flourish and become more self-confident.

We believe that mentorship has the potential to completely change somebody's life. You can progress your mentee along the track to becoming the best person they can be by giving them a little extra encouragement this Valentine's Day. Eventually they may even de-cide to become a mentor themselves.

Thank you for checking out this issue of Mentoring & Coach-ing Monthly. We are excited to share self-mentoring with you this month, a style of mentoring developed by Dr. Marsha Carr from the University of North Carolina–Wilmington. We hope you can take some of her self-mentoring techniques and use them to be-come more confident and focused mentors and coaches.

Additional self-mentoring information can be found in Marsha's book, Self-Mentoring: The Invisible Leader. The book can be pur-chased on Amazon here.

Until next time,

About Us:The Mentoring Institute develops, coor-dinates and integrates research and train-ing activities in mentoring best practices at the University of New Mexico (UNM). Through the application of instructional design standards, the Institute provides training and certification services for a di-verse array of staff, faculty and students, in a centralized effort to recruit, train and develop qualified mentors for the uni-versity, the city of Albuquerque and the greater New Mexico community.

The Mentoring Institute does not replace or direct existing mentoring programs. Rather, it provides a variety of services to these programs. The Mentoring Institute aims to build up current mentoring pro-grams and enhance the culture of mento-ring within the University, and the state it serves.

The Mentoring Institute assists in stimu-lating and promoting a mentoring culture within the community. By encouraging the matriculation and graduation of stu-dents as well as the retention of faculty and staff at the University of New Mex-ico, the Institute also contributes to the development and economic growth of New Mexico.

Institute Founder & Executive Editor: Nora Dominguez

Managing Editor: Brenna Kelley

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You developed the term “self-mentoring.” What is self-mentoring, and what are a few easy ways to begin practicing it?

Self-mentoring was indeed ‘born’ during my first year at the Uni-versity of North Carolina –Wilmington when I was transitioning from a decade of service as a public school superintendent and 35 years in private and public prek-12 education to a tenure-track faculty member in Educational Leadership. It grew from my desire to succeed in an environment that was unique and different than what I was familiar with. Without the benefits of a mentor, I had to learn how to employ mentoring and coaching techniques into my daily routine. This was not without tremendous effort and my goal in sharing self-mentoring with the world was to provide a self-mentoring template for others that would be more efficient and effective than a ‘trial and error’ approach in their own at-tempts. I feel that has been accomplished from the testimonials of so many people that I have met and share their success.

As for how to begin, the easiest way to begin practicing self-men-toring is just to become familiar with the four levels (self-aware-ness, self-development, self-reflection, and self-montoring). Begin with the first level...work your way though each level.

I hate to promote the book but you can order the book, Self-Men-toring: The Leader Within at Amazon.com. And if not the book, google self-mentoring and you will find a multitude of articles and publications that will provide an accurate overview of self-men-toring.

Are there any benefits of self-mentoring that you wouldn’t find in a traditional mentoring relationship?

There are similarities in mentoring and self-mentoring—each serves a different purpose for an individual. It becomes inherent for the individual to determine which is best suited or how to com-bine mentoring and self-mentoring techniques when desirable.

An individual or mentee is often reliant upon the expertise, avail-ability, and experience of the mentor. These factors vary at any given time. Self-mentoring encourages the self-mentor (mentee) to become independent by recognizing their own talents to capitalize on as assets and work through challenges. This is not to say that the self-mentor develops this skill in isolation because self-mentors are encouraged to identify resources such as individuals in the field to help them reach their goals. Often this cadre of individuals sup-port serves as a self-mentoring team that is selected as needed by the self-mentor and may change in composition as needs arise or diminish. The self-mentor is in control at all times and is responsi-ble for their own success. While this can be similar to mentoring,

when I was engaged in mentoring programs, I often did not feel as though I was in control and reaching the goal often took longer as I was dependent on the availability and skill of the assigned men-tor. I don’t believe self-mentoring is for everyone, but I do believe it can support mentoring programs or serve as a stand alone when needed.

In regard to the benefits of self-mentoring in comparison to men-toring, the most obvious I believe is the act of developing indepen-dence earlier and gaining confidence or self-efficacy in your own ability to lead in any given circumstance or setting. We should al-ways be the author of our own story...my mantra has always been, ‘It’s your life; you lead.’

How can self-mentoring lead to greater personal and professional development?

Self-mentoring does lead to greater personal and professional de-velopment of ‘self’ in a relatively short period of time in all stud-ies with a wide range of individuals from students, educators, to nurses that have been conducted to date. The key to developing a greater personal and professional development is learning how to become more aware of who you are and what you are capable. Self-mentors have a high range of self-efficacy and confidence as leaders.

Do you yourself practice self-mentoring? Could you give us an example of how you use it?

Absolutey. Most recently I had to establish a process to manage the workload in the position of department chair. I did refer to my training in self-mentoring to step back and formulate a plan to pri-oritize and manage tasks such as meeting, emails, faculty, students, programs, and enrollment growth.

But my favorite ‘success’ story in self-mentoring is in the realm of public speaking. I used to absolutey detest speaking in public which I find is true for many educators and leaders. The art is to appear confident and comfortable at all times. A common hab-it you will find in many public speakers is the insertation of ‘ah’ to mask that uncomfortable gap of silence when the speaker in contemplating the next word or thought and while it may only be seconds, feels like minutes in the mind of the speaker. I decided to video-tape myself speaking. I realized that I inserted ‘ah’ at an alarming rate so I begin to video-tape myself with the intent to di-minish or at least reduce the number of ‘ah’s’ in any given portion of recorded speaking. While it took considerable time, I now am quite comfortable at public speaking—not sure I like it any more than I did before—but I am a confident speaker which was my

Dr. Marsha CarrInterim Chair

Department of Educational LeadershipUniversity of North Carolina–Wilmington

Dr. Marsha Carr is an award winning educator that serves as Interim Chair of the Educational Leadership department at the University of North Carolina Wilmington (UNCW). During her 35 years of service in private and public education—a decade as a public school superintendent, Carr was bestowed Teacher of the Year Award and recognized by the Maryland House of Delegates as well as received the Maryland Governor's Citation for her work in school improvement —especially districts in dis-tress. In 1994, Carr was honored with the National Milken Family Educator Award, the most coveted educator award. Carr has served as a business consultant over the years to corporations victimized by embezzledment, struggling start-ups, and busi-ness innovations. She is the developer of three successful start-ups—her most recent Edu-Tell, LLC, that owns the registered trademark for self-mentoring. While she also specializes in mentoring and coaching, Carr serves as an international consultant in self-mentoring, a leadership development program she developed that is used through-out the United States and the UK. She is the recipient of the 2015 UNCW Start-Up Award and more recently was awarded 2016 North Carolina Coastal Entrepreneur of the Year for professional service.

Carr resides in Wilmington with her husband, Jennings—a tax accountant and two dogs, Phoenix and Bailey. She enjoys reading and photography while traveling the world!

More About Dr. Marsha Carr

goal. I may never be able to remove those butterflies before I begin, but they now disappear during the first 60 seconds and I begin speaking. So, I owe my ‘success’ to self-mentoring and, since I often speak publicly, I contribute my success to self-mentoring as well as my career.

Currently you serve as a department chair and associate pro-fessor in the Department of Educational Leadership at the University of North Carolina–Wilmington. How have you helped introduce and strengthen mentoring relationships in your department?

Yes, my first year I actually scheduled Dr. Laura Lunsford, an-other IMA board member, who met with the faculty to define mentoring from the view of a student and the view of faculty seeking tenure. It is one of many efforts to form a common definition for mentoring in our department as well as establish goals for a comprehensive approach to student and faculty support through mentoring practices. This is not a one-year process but one that I will be devoted to for many years as we grow as a department and begin to develop ‘organizational citizenship’.

Another department in our college actually employs self-men-toring in their mentoring program and has presented on the success of using both mentoring and self-mentoring for facul-ty, especially new faculty.

Do you have any advice for other educators who wish to be-gin a mentoring program in their department? What about a self-mentoring program in particular?

Last year, some colleagues and I actually wrote an article outlining steps in developing an effective mentoring program

entitled, “Using Mentoring, Coaching, and Self-Mentoring to Support Public School Educators” (The Clearinghouse: A Journal of Educational Strategies, Issues, and Ideas (2017) 90,4). I certainly advocate that you offer various processes or practices for your faculty. I don’t believe in a ‘one-size-fits-all’ so I advocate you spend time to identifiy the needs of your audience, provide them with choices, and then make those processes available to them. Probably the greatest source is this article.

How did you become involved in the International Mentor-ing Association?

I have attended the University of New Mexico’s Mentoring In-stitute conference almost annually over the years and through networking at the conference, I learned about the Internation-al Mentoring Association. I quickly inquired and immediately joined the organization. It was inspiring to meet others that shared the same passion and motivation. For me, I found a home and have enjoyed it immensely. I am also seeking oth-ers with this common interest to join and become a member of such an honorable group of individuals—all bound by the same passion.

What is your role as an associate board member for the IMA, and how has this role helped you become a better mentor?

My role as associate board member is two-fold. First, it is the idea of building capacity for the organization through service. I attend meetings so that I am constantly familiar with our goals and efforts. Second, the association has provided multi-ple platforms to strengthen my own knowledge and expertise in the field to share and enrich the lives of others.

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Mentoring TipsStrategies for Self-Care for Mentors:

Maximize the experience of professional success• Positive change in the student. Recognize student success, even the

small successes. Celebrate these successes with students.• Recognition by supervisors, work peers, and others. (Hopefully they're

reading this.) When you are recognized, soak it in! • Expert content knowledge. Review the manual, consult with others on

a regular basis, strive to engage in best practice.• Relationship processes. Regularly reflect on how well you built a rela-

tionship. Be sure to put students first and focus on the relationship as much or more than the “paperwork”.

Strive to continuously develop in your role as mentor• Learn new strategies for working with and engaging students by re-

viewing the manual, attending professional development sessions (be sure to ask your coordinator for PD when you identify a need!), or talking with other mentors, coordinators, and school personnel you work with.

• Listen to and be open to feedback provided to you from your coordi-nator, students, families, and other individuals you work with.

• Pursue small tasks within the school that fit into your role and are of interest to you. Maybe you love knitting and have some students that expressed an interest – start an after-school club to teach knitting. Or maybe you're good at math and have students who are struggling – you could help out in the math class and provide extra support to your students and to the teacher.

Increase professional self-understanding• Regularly reflect on your practices and your attitudes.• Learn to identify when you are starting to move toward a low point,

such as feeling a lack of optimism that students can change, feeling uncommitted in your role, or feeling unwilling to persist - and consult with your coordinator or other colleagues.

Create a “professional greenhouse” Meaning, surround yourself with people and activities that will help you grow professionally and make you feel supported. It is created when you are:• in a work environment that promotes a healthy other-care/self-care

balance• receiving support from peers and mentors;• mentoring others; and • having fun.

Minimize ambiguous professional lossesLack of closure (like when a student moves or transfers to a new school) can be a major stressor for mentors. Anything you can do to try to put some closure on the relationships, whether in-person, by phone, or by email - the better for both you and the student.

Focus on balanced wellness (physical, spiritual, emotional, and/or social)Cultivate a collection of activities and leisure pursuits as a diversion from work-related stressors

Source: " C&C Tips: Strategies for Self-Care for Mentors" from the Insti-tute on Community Integration at the University of Minnesota.http://checkandconnect.umn.edu/docs/StrategiesForSelf-Care.pdf

In the News:

DailyLobo.comCareer Issue: Lobo alum went from pro football to mentoring youthBy Sherri Barth

Air Force Material CommandMentoring: A mentality, not a meetingBy Maj. Den. Duke Richardson

FortuneSince #MeToo, the Num-ber of Men Who Are Un-comfortable Mentoring Women Has TripledBy Valentina Zarya

This month’s selection of mentoring-related news

Government TechnologySecurity Pros Need a Mentor: Here's Why and HowBy Dan Lohrmann

Kansas City Business JournalMentoring Monday: Are you ready to be a men-tor?By Janice Lopez

Contact Us:The Mentoring Institute

1716 Las Lomas Blvd NE Albuquerque, NM 87106

Email: mentor@unm.edu Phone: 505.277.1330

Website: mentor.unm.edu

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Save the Date!The 2018 Mentoring Conference

will be held at UNM from October 22–October 26.

The conference theme will be related to innovation and

entreprenuership.

The call for proposals will be released on March 15th.

Stay tuned for more information!

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Upcoming Events

April 11–13, 2018Amsterdam, Netherlands

The theme for the 2018 conference will be: A cut above the rest —taking organizations into the future. Keynote speakers will be John Mattone and Richard D. Lewis. A number of parallel ses-sions and MasterClasses will also be available, with instructors from all over the world.

• 24th Annual EMCC International Mentoring, Coaching and Supervi-sion Conference

March 20-21, 2018Westin New York, New York

At the 15th Annual Executive Coaching Conference: “Building Coaching Cultures to Achieve Corporate Goals”, we will focus on cutting edge research, practices, and theoretical perspectives on the many ways we are building coaching cultures (develop-ing leaders and capabilities, targeted coaching, coaching as part of other programs) as well as expanding our grasp of emerg-ing methodologies and approaches (Team Coaching and use of Technology, Mindfulness).

• 15th Annual Executive Coaching Conference

April 12–14, 2018University of South Carolina Law School, Columbia, South Carolina

Mentoring is now, more than ever, essential to the future suc-cess of the legal profession. Through mentoring, protégés build practical skills while developing a sense of confidence, identity, and effectiveness in their professional role. Just as importantly, mentoring strengthens our profession by enhancing our sense of community and elevating our standards of competence, ethics, and professionalism.

• Mentoring: Meeting the Challenges of a Changing Legal ProfessionConference