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Congratulations to you and yourfamily! Bar/Bat Mitzvahs,weddings,birthdays and anniversaries are thehappiest of life-cycle events. Butplanning these events often causesfeelings of anxiety that take awayfrom that happiness. Maybe this isthe first time you or your family hasever organized an event or shoppedfor unfamiliar goods and services.Perhaps you don’t fully understand allthe elements necessary to host theevent. You may just need a few point-ers or a checklist so you don’t forgetsomething. We are here to help!Milestones Party & Event PlanningGuide™ is the area’s mostcomplete planning and resourceguide. Use this guide, and ourextensive web site, to spend lesstime planning your event and moretime enjoying the experience. Wehelp you understand and enjoy thetraditions of Bar/Bat Mitzvah andweddings and to plan a memorablecelebration!

COVER PHOTOS BY:Bride & Groom: AsiPhotos.comBat Mitzvah Girl: Anthony Marill

Milestones Party & EventPlanning GuideTMBaltimore-Washington EditionWinter 2016Our StaffMona Freedman, Publisher/EditorJay Freedman, General Manager/ Production ManagerTim Stump, Production Assistant/Graphic DesignerKendall Cash, Production Assistant/Graphic DesignerAngel Carbaugh, Account ExecutiveCrystal Garrett, Account ExecutiveSuzan Peele, Distribution Coordinator

Published Annually by Milestone Media Group, Inc.1341West Liberty Rd., Sykesville, MD 217841-877-856-5490 | Fax 410-549-6467e-mail: info@milestonesmagazine.comwebsite: www.milestonesmagazine.comCopyright © 2016, Milestone Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved.Milestone Media Group, Inc. does not endorse any product or serv-ice listed or advertised in this publication. We reserve the right to re-ject any advertisement or listing that we feel is not in keeping with thepublication’s standards. The publisher has made every attempt at ac-curacy. We do not assume any and hereby disclaim any liability toany party for any loss or damage caused by errors or omissions in thispublication. Reproduction of any part of Milestones Party & EventPlanning GuideTM is permitted only with written permission of thepublisher.

welcomeFeaturesThe Significance of the Day! . . . . . . . . . .4Reception Ideas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8Sample Reception Agendas . . . . . . . . .10Hiring a Caterer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13Finding the Right Bat Mitzvah Dress .16Sample Budget Form . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19Honors & Alliyot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Booklet . . . . . . . .20JewishWeddings Section . . . . . . . . . . .24Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Timetable 30Selecting a DJ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32Out-Of-Towners Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35Frequently Asked Questions . . . . . . . .38

Directory of ServicesBanquet Facilities / Hotels . . . . .6Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12Clothing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15Decorations & Theme Design .17Giftware & Judaica . . . . . . . . . . . .21Invitations & Calligraphy . . . . .29Music & Entertainment . . . . . .31Novelties & Favors . . . . . . . . . . .35Party / Event Planning . . . . . . .36Photography & Videography .39Directory of Resources . . . . . . .42

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The Significance ofthe Day!Milestones Party & Event Planning GuideTMbelieves that all families should recognizethe religious importance of the Bar/BatMitzvah, the rite of passage, and thewholeJewishness of the child. This life-cycle eventwill have long lastingmeaning to thefamily, relatives, friends and especially the honored child.Becoming a Bar/BatMitzvah symbolizes the child’s religious coming of age and thebeginning of life as a fully participating Jewish adult. He/shewill now accept reli-gious responsibilities and can perform the important duties of Jewish life.The celebration of the event is an important component because it honors the child’saccomplishments and gives loved ones and others the opportunity to showgreatpride and joy for the child. This publication focuses on planning the reception or cele-bration, butwe recommend that you, as parents, participate fully in thewholeMitz-vah and understanding the significance andmeaning of the day. Remember, thepartywould bemeaninglesswithout the ceremony.Online is a partial list of resources that helps the reader learnmore about theTorah,Judaism, and the spiritualmeaning of the Bar/BatMitzvah.Your Synagogue, local li-brary, bookstores, stores in this guide that carry religious items and our online book-store atwww.milestonesmagazine.commay have these aswell as other resources.

Here are some ways to bring meaning to the day:• Attend synagoguewith your children regularly, even if they sit with their friends.

Discuss the service and the Rabbi’s sermon afterwards.• Encourage your child to give to tzedakah (charity), as it is a responsibility for Jew-

ish adults. Giving from the child’s own funds is evenmoremeaningful, even if it isa dollar or two.

• Encourage the Bar/BatMitzvah to practice his/her parasha (Torah portion) andperhaps haftarah portion frequently. Even if it is awkward, listen to their practic-ing, as your child becomes a young adult.

• Meetwith the Rabbi as a family, if this is the customat your synagogue, andallow your child to speak freely.

• Discuss theTorahportion being read, both theHebrewand the English translation.Relate themessage in that portion to events today in theworld, in your own com-munity, or in your family.

• Participate in the service, if your synagogue allows this, by reading prayers, light-ing candles, reciting blessings, or helpingwith the ark and theTorah.

• Perform amitzvahwith your child and/or encourage aMitzvah Project.There aremanyworthwhile ideas some are listed onwww.milestonesmagazine.com.

Celebration has historicallybeen an integral part of theimportant rite of passage ofthe Bar/Bat Mitzvah.In the past, and again recently, the extentof some celebrations has raised questionsabout the appropriateness and dignity ofthe simcha. This is especially markedwhen there appears to be no connectionbetween the spiritual side of the eventand the party. Debate, of course, has al-ways been an integral part of the Ameri-can experience, including AmericanJudaism.We understand that celebrationshould be at the same time meaningful tothe family, respectful of Jewish law andtradition, and reflective ofsynagogue and community values.This is sometimes a difficult task to ac-complish, especially after the events ofSeptember 11th and the current violencein Iraq, Israel, Syria and elsewhere.We donot propose the answers here, except toemphasize that personal choice is also animportant American and Jewishdimension.How important a party celebration is toone family we cannot say. But the Bar/BatMitzvah only passes once on the way tobecoming a teenager, and the rite of pas-sage is undeniably sacred and important.After all, the celebration is not only forthe act of reading the Torah, leading thecongregation in prayer and giving aspeech. There has been determinedstudying, learning and practicing. Therehas been intellectual and spiritualgrowth. There have been mitzvot (gooddeeds), tzedakah (charity) and gemilutchasadim (non-financial giving) that helpbuild self-esteem and mold character. TheBar/Bat Mitzvah has earned the right tobe part of a minyan, be called for alliyot,or wear the tefillin. That this should becelebrated in some way is undeniable,but the intensity and extent of that cele-bration, while ever debatable, is probablya matter of individual taste and prefer-ence.Whatever your choice may be,Mazel Tov to you and your family!

A Word About theBar/Bat MitzvahCelebration

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1. How much do you charge for children’s meals andwhat is the age range?

2. What is the price of limited bar versus open bar andthe price for non-alcoholic beverages?

3. Do you serve buffet style or plated meals, and theprices for each?

4. Do you have any upcoming renovations planned?5. Is your facility handicap accessible?What about ac-

cessibility of outdoor facilities, such as a gazebo,garden, or patio?

6. What colors are available for table linens and chaircovers? Are additional colors/styles available?

7. Are additional rooms available for teens /children /entertainment, or for a bridal room for the weddingparty? Is there a private room for family or bridalportraits?

8. Are packages available that include flowers,photos, decorations, invitations, etc.?

9. What restrictions are there for decorations,entertainment, and outside catering options? Arecakes/desserts allowed from outside? Is therelimited electric or lighting available?

10. Is there a coat room with an attendant? Is therevalet parking or convenient, onsite parking spaces?

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www.milestonesmagazine.comBanquet Facilities & Hotels8

Reception IdeasYour choice of reception style, location, and time will depend upon personalpreference, family needs, local customs, budget and availability. Do not worry toomuch about pleasing others - you and your family must be comfortable with thearrangements. Here are just a few variants and ideas to discuss:

Kiddush Luncheon at the Synagogue:This is probably the least expensive way to offer a celebra-tory meal away from home. It can be catered, or bring inplatters prepared by you or some helpers (Note: This will notbe allowed in facilities where kashrut is observed) . This canalso be offered in addition to a more formal evening affair ora kids-only party.Reception at the Synagogue:Check to see if your Synagogue has adequate facilities andstaff to accommodate your needs. Some Synagogues alsohave rules regarding kashrut, caterers, entertainment, pho-tography, flowers and more. Consult with the SynagoguestaffNon-Traditional Reception Sites:- Community center- Social hall- Country club (even if you don’t belong)- Boats and yachts- Museums

- Elegant restaurants- Theme restaurantsKiddush Luncheon at a Restaurant:Can be very reasonably priced, particularly if it iscustomary to invite all congregants to a Kiddushluncheon at the synagogue.Reception at a Hotel:This is often desirable, afternoon or evening, when manyguests from out-of-town are expected. Ask about room ratesand room blocks to reserve. Remember, too, thein-town guests who have to find the hotel and park,so make the location accessible.Home Reception:Yes, it’s less expensive. But remember the extra work, theclean-up, the wear and tear - and you can’t walk away fromit after the party! Still, lovely home receptions have beendone. Consider services such as a caterer, party planner, en-tertainers, and clean-up help so you can be a guest at yourown party.

(Continued on page 9)

Banquet Facilities & HotelsBaltimore-Washington Edition 9

Kids-Only Party:Usually held in conjunction with a Kiddush luncheon,this can be held anywhere your Bar/Bat Mitzvah and youagree upon. Arcades, zoos, pools, amusement parks,kids’museums, theme restaurants, bowling alleys, sportscenters, and skating rinks all are appropriate locations. Somehave food, some you’ll need to bring. A D.J., entertainer, orinflatable attraction can add to the fun and please everyone.Reception at a Catering Hall:These are often beautifully decorated and well-run, becausethat is their only business. Ask about packages that includeother services (flowers, decorations, videography, etc.) thatyou may want or need.

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Who Should Decide What?What You Should Decide

The Size and Style of the Reception • Main Menu • Adult Guest ListHow Many Kids • Location & Times • Professionals to Hire

Hora Music • Decorations

What The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Could DecideTheme • Kids Guest List • Kids’Seating Arrangement • Dance Music

Clothing • Alternate Entertainment • Candle Lighting Tributes

Decide As A TeamAlliyot & Honor Participants • Candle Lighting Honorees • Invitations

WeddingEvening Hours (5 hours shown here)6:30 - 7:30 PMHors d’oeuvres, cocktails, background music, greeting arrivingguests. Signing of guest book.7:30 - 8:00 PMMaster of Ceremonies welcomes guests, introduction ofWedding Party, blessing overwine and challah.8:00 - 9:00 PMDinner, light music. Toasts and speeches from Best Man, Maid ofHonor, Parents. Dinner ends with blessings/reprise of sheva b'ra-chot.9:00 - 9:45 PMBride/Groom’s first dance, cake cutting ceremony, more toasts. Horadance, traditional Jewish music.9:45 - 11:30 PMMore dancing, Bride bouquet and Groom’s garter toss. Bride/Groom’sfinal dance. Mezinke Tanz–a dance and Parents thank guests .

Bar/Bat MitzvahEvening Hours (4 hours shown here)7:30 - 8:15 PMHors d’oeuvres, cocktails, backgroundmusic, greeting arriving guests.Younger guests entertained in another room with games (Coke-Pepsi, scavenger hunt, etc.), caricatures, dance music, etc.8:15 - 8:30 PMThe Master of Ceremonies formally welcomes guests, introductionof the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family, blessing over the wine and challah.8:30 - 9:30 PMDinner, light music.9:30 - 9:45 PMCandle-lighting ceremony, Hora dance, traditional Jewish music.9:45 - 11:30 PMThe night continues with dancing. Videographer records family andfriends in a quiet location saying Mazel Tov to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Sample Reception Agendas

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of Baltimore & DCMetropolitan RabbinicalKashrus AssociationMetro KSilver Spring, MD301-613-6699Star-K Kosher CertificationBaltimore, MD410-484-4110Rabbinical Councilof Greater Washington Capital KWashington, D.C.202-291-6052

When Choosing a Caterer...If you would like to hold your reception at the Synagogueor a hall, you will likely hire a professional catering com-pany. Catering at your site offers maximum flexibility (ca-sual, elegant, plated, stations, etc.) and includessilverware, set-up and clean-up.Ask about specialty diets such as Kosher, vegetarian, dia-betic, etc. Is there a separate children's’menu?What aboutleftovers? How does the staff dress? Is gratuity included?When is the final count and final payment due? Look forboth great food and presentation–visually appealingdishes are an elegant part of the decor. Get a written con-tract that lists all the details, including menu, services pro-vided, equipment to be used, financial information, dates,times and personnel to be included. It should have a guar-antee and cancellation policy.

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Let’s first dispel of the myth that Kosher is more costly thannon-Kosher. That is simply not the case. A good Koshercaterer is nomore costly than a good non-Kosher Caterer!That being said, whether you are planning aWedding, a Bator Bar-Mitzvah, your Caterer is going to be your singlebiggest expense.Here are some of the things you should consider before hir-ing a Caterer.•What do you know about the Caterer going in?• What is the Caterer’s reputation?• How great is their food, and food service?• How accessible are they by phone?• How prompt are they in returning your phone calls? (Ifthey have difficulty in returning your call in a timelymanner before you sign, how is it going to be after youhave signed?)

• Is the person you are dealing with going to be the sameperson who is actually going to be present at your eventto implement all that you have discussed?

• Does the Caterer offer a tasting?

What to Look For in Hiring a Caterer?By Alan Weiss, www.CateringByAlanWeiss.com (see ad above)

• Over the course of planning your event, does the Catereroffer insight, guidance, advice and assistance inobtaining other vendors you will need to hire. (After all,the Caterer has worked with many Bands, DJ’s, Florists,Photographers, andVideographers and should knowwhowould be a good fit to your vision and budget.

To put it very simply, your celebration is one of themostspecial days, if not themost special day, in your life.YourCaterer should respond and approach your celebration withthat in mind. A good Caterer is responsible for not only thequality of the food, and its presentation, but also the qualityof service, the tone, mood andmost importantly your visionfor what the day should be like andrepresent. A great Caterer also knows how tomake thecelebration flowwith inspired pacing to capture all the spe-cial moments of your celebration. A great Caterer shouldgive you confidence and peace of mind that anything andeverything is being done to create the celebration that iseverything you had envisioned it to be.Catering by AlanWeiss embraces the philosophy that is em-bodied in the advice above. Call 443-394-8338 andask for AlanWeiss.

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Mens’ & Boys’For mens’and boys’ suits, start shopping twelve weeksfrom the event, leaving several weeks for alterations,which are usually necessary. Choose your clothing withcomfort in mind. Select a style and fabric that may beworn on different occasions. Color changes are madewith shirt and tie combos. Tuxedo rental should also bemade 3 months in advance, especially if an entire partyneeds the same style/color. Differences in shirts/ties/cummerbunds can distinguish party members.

Women’s & Girls’Start shopping at least six months before the event incase you need to order something or alter your selec-tion. Also, choose your clothing with comfort in mind.Let your Bat Mitzvah girl choose her own outfit, keep-ing appropriateness in mind and Syna-gogue policy. You may need to set aprice limit, but she should feelcomfortable, beautiful andspecial that day. Don’tforget to bring anextra pair of hosieryfor you and your chil-dren that day.

TheWeddingDress

Jewish tradition calls for bridalgowns to be pure white, symbolizingthe purity of the bride and thebeginning of the marital relationship(the groom often wears a white kittelduring the ceremony, as well).A strapless bra is handy when tryingon gowns. Lift your arms when trying ongowns to see if you can easily move aroundand dance in it. You can sew beads onto an an-tique or ordinary dress to make it new andunique. Shop for comfortable shoes, andbreak them in before the wedding day.Choose only those accessories that

compliment your dress, not distract from it.

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PartyPointer!

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Young ladies often require three outfits– one for Friday nightservices, one for their actual Bat Mitzvah, and a third for theirparty. This is their day to shine. Outfits for the Bat Mitzvah Girlshould be special to them–something that they adore and feelbeautiful in; however, this doesn't mean that you have to "paya fortune." Many unique outfits are available "off the rack" atlocal boutiques. Don't be shy about telling a store if you have abudget. Stores that specialize in Bat Mitzvah fashions can helpguide your selections in all of the above areas. Avoid largedepartment stores if possible- other girls may be wearing thesame "special dress" as your child! Also, beware of online sitesthat you are not familiar with. Their "too good to be true"pricing often hides that outfits may be "knock-offs" ordamaged goods. In addition, outfits usually look very differenton your child then they do online, and are usually final sale.Check a store's reputation and return policy before making apurchase.Try not to purchase or alter her outfits more than 3 monthsprior to the event, since sizes can change rapidly for girls thisage. If you do buy sooner, make certain to buy a full size largerthan needed and wait until closer to your event date to haveoutfits altered.Comfort and Synagogue policies are essential in your choice ofclothing. Most Synagogues require that shoulders be coveredand that skirts/dresses are an "appropriate length"; thislength varies based on the Synagogue, so do check. Avoidscarves and pashmina-style wraps to cover her shoulders if shewill be wearing a Tallit, bolero style jackets or light sweaters aremuch more comfortable. Also, this is not the time for yourdaughter to wear "high heels." Make sure that her shoes trulyfit well, and that she can comfortably walk in them. "Ballerinaflats" or low heels with ankle supports can be fashionable andvery comfortable.For the reception, parents often buy inexpensive socks for everygirl attending their party, especially if there will be a lot ofdancing and games. It has become a custom for girls to "kickoff their shoes" and put on the socks almost as soon as theyarrive at the reception! You can also help your guests by usingtraditional or very descriptive termsto describe how you wouldlike them to dress. Contem-porary and noveldescriptions like "countryclub casual," "businesscasual," or "party clothes"can be frustrating andconfusing. Finally and mostimportantly, this is a very specialand meaningful day for your daughterand for your entire family. Treasure the day! "Don't sweat thesmall details." MAZEL TOV!

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Finding the RightBat Mitzvah DressBy Karen Mazer, Synchronicity Boutique

Baltimore-Washington Edition Decorations & Theme Designd

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This section includes party stores, centerpiecedesigning services, balloon artists, florists, as well asbusinesses offering sign-in boards, decorated guestbooks, and other personalized services. These will bethe biggest contributors to a themed celebration. Askthem if delivery is included and if they could design asample to help you decide. Make sure to choose acenterpiece that will not overwhelm the table or blockguests’view of each other.Consider some of following, in addition to themedcenterpieces, for a unique touch:• Special effect lighting, lasers, fog, snow• Fireworks or pyrotechnics• Candle lighting name display• Sign-in-boards and theme props, like

cardboard cut-outs• Ice Sculptures

Make sure to choosea centerpiece that willnot overwhelm thetable or block guests’view of each other.Consider some of fol-lowing, in addition tothemed centerpieces,for a unique touch:• Special effect lighting, lasers, fog,

snow• Fireworks or pyrotechnics• Candle lighting name display• Sign-in-boards and theme props, like

cardboard cut-outs

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Formal or fanciful, simple or bold, decorations set themood and tone of a party. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah hasworked hard to get there, make the celebration festive,regardless of your budget!Table centerpieces usually coordinate with the theme(see Themes online at milestonesmagazine.com). Linensand napkins could coordinate with color themes, andthey make a dramatic color statement. Some banquetfacilities have a selection of colors, but rental centers willhave a larger assortment. Consider chair covers, they addelegance to the setting.Check out the decor in your banquet hall or facility.Ask about upcoming renovations. Choose colors anddecorations that will not clash with the surroundings.Don’t forget about decorations for the buffet tables, gifttable, and band/DJ area. Clusters and arches of balloonsare an inexpensive and dramatic way to add largesplashes of color. Decorate tables with inexpensive glitterfor a festive appearance. Remember to include a tablewith a sign-in or message book, keeping with yourtheme. An easel with a decorated photo collage or forsign-ins (don’t forget some colorful pens!) can add ex-citement to a room entrance and point the wayfor guests.

It’s a Matter ofDollars & SenseKeep the great cost cuttingtips in mind when planningyour event.

Sample Budget FormNote: Include tax and tips in all expenses

Bar/Bat Mitzvah CostCutting Tips

1. Use more traditional style invitations,which tend to be more economical.Ask your invitation professional to sug-gest more cost-cutting tips that areappropriate for your situation.

2. Explore the possibility of using packageplans for the entertainment,photography, and other services.

3. Make your own centerpieces. Party ortoy stores have great ideas.

4. You can decorate and personalize thewelcome board and guest bookby using glitter pens and markers.

5. Generally, Saturday is the most expen-sive day to hold the Simcha. Consideryour child becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvahon another day when the Torah is read.

6. Favors can be bought at gift or toystores. Personalize them with labelscreated on your computer or they can bepersonalized/monogrammed wherepurchased.

7. Some stores may negotiate on priceswhen buying in bulk quantities, just ask.

8. Purchasing supplies and favors throughcatalogs may save money, especially inbulk quantities.

9. Consider an afternoon Kiddushluncheon which may be less expensivethan an evening reception.

10. Chicken dishes are usually less costlythan beef dishes.

11. Balloons are usually less costly thanflowers.

12. Don’t worry about ordering imprintedkippot if you’re on a budget. They are al-ways a nice touch, but Synagogues usu-ally have enough kippot to handle thenumber of people attending the service.And many Jewish guests already haveplenty in their jacket pockets.

SERVICEOR VENDOR

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Photography

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Decorations

Invitations/Postage

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Personal Ex-penses

Rental Items

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Synagogue FeesOfficiant Fees

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Available as a downloadable tool on milestonesmagazine.com

19Baltimore-Washington Edition

20 www.milestonesmagazine.com

Many congregations allow, even en-courage, creation of a Bar/Bat Mitzvahbooklet or program for the service. Thisis compiled and produced by the fam-ily for distribution to congregants andguests by the ushers, or inserted intoprayer books. It can have a variety ofunique features aimed at relatives andfriends, guests, congregants, non-Jew-ish guests, and so on. Here are someexamples:• A short description of theworship service as conducted atyour synagogue,• A brief explanation of the mean-ing of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, event or anessay by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah on themeaning of the day to him/her,• Poems or special readings,• A discussion of the currentparasha, or Torah portions,• A list or description of the mitzvotperformed by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah,

• Comments from close relatives,• Photographs of the Bar/Bat Mitz-vah. Be creative, but check with yourRabbi first before making copies todistribute.• Deborah Burman Carasso, ofUnique Invitations, (1-877-837-9122)explains how a programwas used fora Havdalah/ Hanukkah Bar Mitzvah:“[The program] explained to gueststhe order of the service, the Haftarahportion, what it means, honors given,page numbers to follow, explanationsof the Mitzvah Project, whatHanukkah and Havdalah service isalong with what the spice bags are for,thanks to people who havemade thisday happen...On the back had the di-rections for the dreidel game. It madenon-Jewish guests feel muchmorecomfortable now that they knewwhatwas going on.”And it serves as a won-derful keepsake of thespecial day!

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Booklet

• Alliyot is the plural of alliyah. Oneperson is assigned one alliyah. Thefamily of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (or thegroom, at an Ufruf) may get to assignseveral alliyot. It means to come totheTorah and recite the blessings be-fore and after a section of theTorah isread (b’rachot). An honor is a non-speaking part. The chosen personperforms the honor, for example, theymay open or close the Ark or dresstheTorah.• Ask the Rabbi or Cantor howmany alliyot you will be allowed.Consult with your rabbi or cantor re-garding participation of non-Jewishfriends and relatives.

• Ask about any restrictions or limi-tations before you approach anyoneto perform an honor or alliyah.• Attend other Bar/Bat Mitzvahservices at your synagogue to seehow others do it.• Always ask relatives and friends ifthey would like to participate, but letthem know it’s okay to say no.Thosewho say yes will be truly honored, andthe others will avoid what theymayfeel is uncomfortable.• Check with the Rabbi for writteninstructions, Hebrew and Englishtransliteration, and even Englishprayers.

Honors and Alliyot

Regardless of the size ofyour celebration, you mustget properly organized.Build yourself a Bar/BatMitzvah or Weddingorganizer using a large(two inch or larger) three-ringbinder and use it as follows:

• Place this magazine in the frontpocket for easy reference.

• Insert section dividers for majorareas such as Reception, Invita-tions, Hotels, Transportation, GuestList, Decorations, Photography andVideography, Entertainment, etc.Keep all your worksheets,brochures, call records, quotations,bills and receipts together for easyreference.

• Use a master budget form (copythe one on page 19) to track overall expenses, or use the download-able tool on milestonesmagazine.com

• Use punched envelopes to hold re-ceipts.

• Ask the facility for a floor or tablelayout, keep handy for reference

• On the front of each section, listeverything you want or need.Check them off when they havebeen finalized.

• Make a section for the synagoguethat has your list of honors and al-liyot, communication from the syn-agogue, copies of prayers to recite,gifts or donations to the syna-gogue, etc.

• Leave a section for candle lightingpoems or thoughts, notes forspeeches, favorite music, sketchesor examples of decorations, ideasfor a sign-in-book, and otherpersonal notes.

• Collect invitations you receive tohelp with wording.

• Anything else that makes your lifeeasier.

Believe it or not, these pagesmake a great memento orscrapbook of the occasion.

Let’s Get Or-ganized!

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These listings include:Yarmulkes, Tzitzis, Tallisim, books,etc.as well as jewelry, portraits,and other mementos to honorthe child’s accomplishments.Many sell items such as memorybooks, picture frames, and musicfor Bar/Bat Mitzvah presents. ManySynagogues have a Judaica shopfor you to purchase these items.

Decorated Bar/BatMitzvah Memory BookThis has places for invita-tions, seating cards, photostaken by guests, copies ofspeeches, even the Torahportion.Personalized PictureFramesThese could have a name, anickname or a theme.Better yet, insert a photo ofthe Bar/Bat Mitzvah child.Theme BookendsSpecialty shops have onesfor any sport or hobby.We saw ones with famoussynagogues on them!Music/Jewelry BoxPick a theme or song thathas meaning to you or to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Orlook into engraved styles!

U.S. Savings BondAlways a safe investment!Israeli Savings BondCall 212-644-BONDFineWatchesTry engravinga specialwish!Monogrammed or Per-sonalized PocketbookorWalletPerfect for young adults.CD’s and TapesAsk friends to helpwith theselection. Or purchase amusic store gift certificate .Personal CD Player,iPod, or Boom BoxCheck to see if they alreadyhave one. Again, a giftcertificate at the local elec-tronics store is a safe bet.CustomMah Jongg SetThe latest rage with teens!

Great Gift Suggestions

22 www.milestonesmagazine.com

At Least 1 Year• Arrange for all parents to meet• Work out budget & review withparents, if they'll be paying for anypart of the event

• Interview & hire a wedding consultantif you are using one

• Decide on style of wedding• Decide who will officiate. FavoriteRabbis may book up as quickly ascaterers and banquet halls. You willneed to consult this person regardingmany issues throughout your plan-ning.When necessary, book thesynagogue sanctuary or chapel

• Make preliminary guest list &estimate final party size

• Choose & call your wedding party• Set wedding date & time• Pick a caterer, a ceremony & receptionlocation. Send deposit when necessary

• Book rooms for out-of-town guests• Interview & choose photographers,videographers, florists, musicians,calligraphers

• Make transportation reservations• Make plans for your honeymoon• Shop for wedding gown.• Send a "Save-the-Date" card to your"A" list guests

10 Months• Choose a color theme• Order wedding gown & accessories• Make up your final guest list• Go House or Apartment-hunting withyour fiancé. Narrow choices to a few

9 Months• Decide what gifts you would like &register for gifts (china, flatware, etc.)

• Shop & order invitations, programs &other printed materials

• Have your engagement party. Don’tforget to mail out "thank you" notes

• Have an engagement picture taken &submit to newspaper

• Create schematics for the processional,recessional, under the chuppah, re-served seating. Distribute them toparticipants

• Arrange for someone to be in chargeof keeping everyone on schedule &

coaching the processional• Select guests for honors (e.g., toast,blessing on bread & wine, one of theseven blessings, alliyah at the Ufruf.)

8 Months• Discuss wedding attire with mothersof the bride & groom

• Order accessories/bridesmaid dresses• Look at tuxedos7 Months• Decide on which ketubah text youwant & order a ketubah. Hand deco-rated ketubot take the longest time.

• If you are buying a home, get seriousabout a contract. If you will be rent-ing, place a deposit

6 Months• Select guests wedding favors• Order imprinted yarmulkes.• Order wedding invitations, programs,& other stationery

5 Months• Arrange for tuxedo rentals• Book your honeymoon• Included directions, as needed, inSave-the-date &/or invitations. Take atrial drive to double check distances &landmarks

4 Months• Purchase wedding gifts for attendantsand fiance.

• Finalize floral arrangements.• Set hair, make-up, nail, & wax ap-pointments

• Select a bakery for your wedding cake,as well as cakes for pre-wedding re-ceptions & pastries for after-weddingbrunch

• Begin to address invitations or takefinal guest list to your calligrapher

• Select wedding bands. Place an order• Get change of address cards from postoffice & get them ready to mail

• Prepare programs &/or a weddingbooklet for the wedding & assign oneto distribute them

• Have the groom order tuxedos forhimself, his groomsmen & the dads.

• Order table cameras.

3 Months• Final dress fittings for you & yourbridesmaids

• Finalize cake arrangements•Write your own vows• Buy cake knife, toasting glasses, guestbook & garter

• Pick out associated events clothing.Remember shoes (ballet slippers,sandals) for the reception

• Find a hairdresser & make a test runwith your veil

• Send invitations (check postage)2 Months• Get name-change forms for social se-curity, driver's license, credit cards &bank.

• Make hair & nails appointments veryclose to the wedding day

• Finalize menu with caterer• Review your needs with your photog-rapher & videographer. List your wed-ding party, a schedule of events, anytoasts or speeches, & any special pho-tos, memories or candids you want.

• Meet with your entertainment (music,etc.). A schedule of events, favoritetunes, style of music requested, plus alist of toasts, speeches, etc. will ensurethat the MC & you coordinate

• Arrange the rehearsal dinner, as well asother wedding-day-connected parties

1 Month• Make guest baskets & assign someoneto distribute them

• Make sure all your groomsmen, ush-ers, ringbearer, & fathers have orderedtuxedos

• Send change-of-address forms topost office

• Reconfirm all reservations & accom-modations

• Confirm honeymoon plans• Make a seating plan for the reception3 Weeks Before• Call guests who have not responded• Finalize reception seating plans• Get your marriage license• Prepare wedding announcement forthe newspaper

Wedding Planning Timetable

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• Pick up your wedding bands• Fill out the table cards or give namesto your calligrapher.

• Put fees & tips in envelopes (officiant,soloist, maitre d' etc.) assign someoneto deliver the payments if you can’t.

• Arrange with someone to bring itemsto the wedding venue, such as cakeknife, toasting glasses, programs,yarmulkes, wedding license, ketubah,etc. & to take them home

• Arrange for someone to return rentals(tuxedos, chairs, etc.)

• Arrange for someone to take yourbouquet/gown "home" put them inpreservation

• Pay all synagogue fees2 Weeks Before• Call caterer with final total of guests• Confirm directions, pickup & drop-offpoints with transportation service.1 Week• Create a detailed schedule of yourwedding day activities

• Pack for your honeymoon• Confirm post-wedding bruncharrangements

1 Day• Get a manicure• Attend wedding rehearsal• Pack wedding day emergency kit.

(extra pantihose, safety pins, thread &needle, steamer, brush &make-up)

• Get a good night's sleepYour Wedding Day• Eat a good breakfast• Have your make-up done• Have your hair done• Give yourself lots of ready-time• Relax & have fun!After Your Wedding Day• Send thank-you’s &/or send gifts tothe special people who made yourwedding "happen."

• Send wedding photo & announce-ment to newspaper(s)

What makes a Jewishwedding Jewish?There are very few requirements for aJewish wedding, which include a mar-riage contract (ketubah), the religiousceremonies (kiddushin and nisuin), aplain gold band accepted by the bride,and the pronouncement that you arehusband and wife. Therefore, most ofwhat we recognize as making a wed-ding Jewish are a wide variety ofcustoms and traditions that are steepedin history. But customs change overtime and location, even those in"traditional" weddings.Some traditions are adopted fromplaces where people live, where theirancestors came from, or from otherplaces or families. Some customs aremodernized to reflect the secular reali-ties of life in the modern world, includ-ing modern feminism, thecongregational practices and philoso-phies, and as an accommodation toJews-by-choice and non-Jews. Ancientcustoms can sometimes survive only interms of their relevance in a changingworld.“We would like to have a wedding thatincorporates at least some of the won-derful traditions of our forebears, a linkto the past, but at the same time ismeaningful to us.”Anita Diamant pointsout in The New JewishWedding thatmodern Jews cannot marry the same

way their parents did."The world has changed too much. Ourexpectations of marriage are not thesame," she states. "We are differentkinds of Jews." This requires the brideand groom to make decisions about theexact traditions they intend to continue.Many of the following rituals are prac-ticed in traditional weddings. An inter-esting pattern has lately emerged thatthe more exotic and ancient the custom,the more it will be adopted as a true ex-pression of authentic Judaism. This hasespecially become true among youngercouples who have been raised with ex-posure to the more modern customs. Ifyou choose not to strictly follow allthese traditions you may choose thoseelements of the ceremony that appealto you, that others in your communityor congregation follow, or those youadapt from secular events. Be sure notto adopt customs from other religions.In this way you customize (yes, the rootword is custom) your Jewish weddingto meet the needs and desires of yourfamily and you.Will this be an easy process? Perhapsnot, but it is part of the fun of planninga wedding, and not a part you can dele-gate to others. Making choices aboutwhich elements in a Jewish weddingwill remain traditional involves mergingtwo or more families, often with differ-ent backgrounds, values, and practices.

Leave room for compromise so thateveryone feels that the wedding honorswhat’s most important to them.The UfrufOn the Sabbath before the wedding, theGroom (Chatan) is traditionally given analliyah – the blessing before and aftertheTorah portion is read – and his fam-ily usually sponsors a kiddush receptionafter services. Ufruf is Yiddish for "call-ing up". In congregations where womenmay perform an alliyah, both bride andgroommay be called up. Check with theRabbi to arrange this or to read a parsha(Torah portion). Is this reminiscent ofyour bar mitzvah? Like your bar/batmitzvah, you may be able to call othersin your family for an alliyah as well.Now for the fun part:The congregation, perhaps led by thewiseguys in your family, will showeryou (pelt you is more accurate) withraisins, almonds and sweets to wish youa sweet life and fruitful marriage tocome! (Note to wiseguys: please checkwith Synagogue staff before you handout sweets, as some synagogues havepolicies regarding this custom).The MikvahTraditionally observant brides and allconverts go to the mikvah, the ritualbath, before the wedding. This traditionis ancient and is a law, not a custom.They are maintained by most Orthodoxand some Conservative and Reformsynagogues, as well. The mikvah is a

Customizing Your Wedding!

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The customs of the wedding day createmomentum that culminate with thewedding ceremony itself, the kiddushin.Friends and family can be part of theevents just prior to the wedding.Wedding Day FastingThe day of the wedding the chatan(groom) and kallah (bride) fast and re-pent their sins, and they are guaranteedthat if they do so, all their sins are for-given. Thus, they start out their new lifetogether with a clean slate. As onYomKippur, this ritual fasting is not aboutself-punishment, but about startingover (in this case, in union with eachother).SeparationIt is customary for the bride and groomnot to see each other for three days to aweek before the wedding.The groomwill not see the bride untiljust before the ceremony, at the veilingof the bride. Since this is usually ananxious and nerve-rattling period, thiscustom has practical advantages thatcan save you tears and fears. Spendsome time with friends and family, andlet the anticipation of the event grow.Kabbalat Panim-Greetingthe Bride and GroomSeparate receptions, called KabbalatPanim, are held just prior to the wed-ding ceremony, when the honored oneshold court in separate rooms. Checkwith your rabbi since some do allowpre-wedding receptions. Jewish tradi-tion and law treat the couple like a

queen and king. The kallah will beseated on a "throne" to receive herguests. Some brides, jittery from nerves,may limit guests to the bridal party.Others will have a more traditional re-ception with songs, flowers, blessings,cake and wine. Perhaps the musicianswill make a first appearance. Here thebride waits for the groom’s reception toend.The groomwill be surrounded by hiscircle of friends and relatives at a table,theTish, who sing and toast him. Thegroommay attempt to present a lectureon the week's Torah portion, while hismale friends and family heckle and in-terrupt him. Despite the groom’s Talmu-dic knowledge, or lack thereof, this issupposed to fun, not a serious under-taking. Other formats may involve a‘roast’of the groom by friends. At theTish, the groom, witnesses and therabbi might sign the ketubah or, if bothparties are signing together, they maydo this in another room, such as therabbi’s study.In a more modern version of theTish,both bride and groom are entertainedand received together with blessings,songs, flowers, or music. The ketubahmay then be signed and the partyproceeds directly to the chuppah.There are many variations of theTish,so ask your rabbi, cantor, or eventplanner for more ideas. The popularityof theTish is increasing as a delightfulpre-wedding ritual.

Signing The KetubahWhether or not pre-wedding receptionsare held, a ketubah, or marriage con-tract, is signed and witnessed. In tradi-tional ceremonies the Groom signs theketubah in a separate room, in the pres-ence of witnesses and the Rabbi, beforethe wedding can begin. The bride neednot sign it, because it belongs to heralone, according to Jewish law, as proofof her rights and the groom’s responsi-bilities (financial and otherwise). It wasa radical document in ancient times,giving the wife important legal protec-tion. It was a legal document, neitherbeautiful nor romantic, and the tradi-tional language of the document re-mained basically unchanged forcenturies.The traditional ketubah does not neces-sarily reflect the realities of modernmarriages or contemporary views onrelationships. Many couples have foundnew ketubot, or have written languagethemselves, that is more egalitarian.Many ketubot now include parallel dec-larations of commitment made by bothbride and groomwith a joint declara-tion of faith in G_d and a connection tothe Jewish people. It can be a way toremind the couple of their moral re-sponsibilities to one other.With manyhand calligraphed ketubot available, aswell as many retail and internet sourcesof published ketubah texts, coupleshave a large number of choices to cus-tomize the text to reflect their particularvalues. You must confer with your rabbibefore you decide on which text to sign,

pool of water fed by a running source,as opposed to stagnant. A lake, pond,or river is an ideal mikvah, but ratheruncomfortable most of the year. Indoormikvahs have an attendant and usuallyfull bath facilities.Because the mikvah is associated in theTalmud with the "impurity" of men-struating women, it has fallen into dis-favor by some as a relic of archaic

times, not relevant to today. But mik-vah is really about spiritual purification,and a visit to the mikvah before thewedding is a way to ceremonially startagain "rebirth". The ceremony is quitesimple. The bride-to-be is immersedcompletely in the pool several times,floating freely, and a simple prayer issaid when she comes up. This is a joy-ous occasion often followed, especially

in the Sephardic tradition, by a partywith food and drink, sometimes bybridesmaids waiting right outside.Outdoor ceremonies can be done atsome unusual locations with poetry,picnics and whatnot. Somemen haveeven joined the tradition with theirownmikvah visits (call well ahead forreservations) and men-only partiesthat follow.

The Wedding Day

Customizing Your Wedding Continued...

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and certainly before any artwork is or-dered. Since they are legal documents,not all rabbis will accept all texts. More-over, only Orthodox and Conservativetexts are recognized in the State of Is-rael.There are just as many choices with theart that often accompanies the text. The

ketubah is often written among beauti-ful artwork, to be framed and displayedin the home. Having a ketubah profes-sionally calligraphed and made evenmore special with customized decora-tions has also become popular. The art-work on one such ketubah at a recentwedding, incorporated elements from

the childhood of each half of the cou-ple, merging into shared experiences atthe top.The ketubah is sometimes read to theentire assembly, and it can even besigned and witnessed after the reading,while under the chuppah.

The Wedding Day Continued...

The VeilingMany brides still choose to wear a veil,an ancient custom that has its roots inthe Bible. Others have rejected it as anantiquated symbol of patriarchal domi-nance. It may be seen as representingthe modesty and dignity which char-acterizes the virtue of Jewish woman-hood. The veil also conveys themessage to the world, symbolically,that physical appearance is not as im-portant as inner beauty. It has biblicalroots in the story of the patriarch Jacob,who was first tricked by his father-in-law into marrying the wrong sister,Leah, her face well hidden behind aveil, instead of the girl he loved, Rachel.By placing the veil over the Bride’s facehimself, the Groom ensures the sametype of switch isn’t made. A fun tradi-tion enhanced by a bit of history.If a veil is to be worn, the groom is in-vited to the bedeken, lowering the veilonto the bride. Accompanied by bothfathers plus friends and relatives, thegroom, who has not seen his Bride fora week, enters the bride’s chamber andlowers the veil over the bride’s face.This can be seen to symbolize either hiscommitment to clothe and protect hiswife, setting her apart from all others,or an indication that he is only inter-ested in her inner beauty. In any case,this can be a charming and emotionalpart of the wedding. An egalitariantwist has the bride placing a kippah onthe groom’s head.The ProcessionKeeping with the practice of treatingthe bride and groom like royalty, a pro-cession leading to the chuppah is quite

traditional. Because a Jewish weddingis, above all, a family affair, the sim-plest procession involves the bride andgroom, each escorted by both parents,moving down the aisle and under thechuppah. This demonstrates the mar-riage is a union of families, not of indi-viduals. But Jewish law does notgovern the makeup of the procession,and so couples are free to decide theexact arrangement of their procession.There are many variations according tofamily situations and dynamics. Some-times grandparents follow the rabbi orcantor, followed by the ushers andbridesmaids (separate in Orthodoxweddings), the best man, the groomand his parents, more ushers andbridesmaids, the maid of honor, and fi-nally the bride and her parents. Varia-tions allow grandparents to enter withtheir side of the family. Second mar-riages, divorced parents, missing or de-ceased relatives, the need for a verysmall or intimate service, etc., all re-quire adaptations to the order, which isperfectly acceptable.The number of attendants is of no con-sequence, since they are not required.Only two "Kosher" witnesses are re-quired under Jewish law.While we donot specify what this may mean,clearly non-Jews do not qualify as wit-nesses (and they must not be rela-tives). Ushers and bridesmaidscertainly add a festive and regal air tothe ceremony, and they should at leastinclude any brothers and sisters.Sometimes a flower girl is used, al-though in most Jewish weddings, thering is held by the best man. The best

man at a Jewish wedding, called ashoshbin, is historically a best friendwho would offer a large gift to thegroom upon marriage,perhaps to defray the cost of an expen-sive wedding affair, and was thereforeentitled to celebrate with the groomduring the wedding week.The arrangement under the chuppahof the people involved is also not pro-scribed by Jewish law. Many chuppahsare arranged so that the wedding partyfacing the rabbi is facing Jerusalem.Hundreds of years of Ashkenazic tradi-tion calls for the bride to be at thegroom’s right. Proponents of Jewishmysticism, Kabbalah, claim that thequestion reflects the tension betweenthe divine attributes of justice andmercy. The merciful, masculine aspectof G_d is identified with the right side,and the just, female side with the left.Therefore the bride should stand on theleft and the groom on the right.Candles may be carried by escorts andattendants, making a lovely old-worldeffect, especially at dusk outdoors or ina partly darkened room.The candlessymbolize the oneness that will comeabout as the couple is united under thechuppah. Check with the synagogue orreception hall staff, because fire codesmay prohibit it. Use dripless tapers,braided havdalah candles or jar candlesto avoid a real mess.Live music during the procession is anold tradition, one that sets the moodand the pace of the occasion. A soloistor small group is usually best, but leaveenough lead-time to find and rehearsethe appropriate music. Cantors usually

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The ChuppahEasily one of the most recognizedfeature of a Jewish wedding, the cere-mony takes place under a weddingcanopy, or chuppah. The origin of thechuppah in theTalmud is certain, evenif its exact form is not. In any case, thesymbolism in the chuppah has manymeanings. Chuppah means literally"that which covers or floats" in Hebrew.Traditionally, weddings occurred out-doors under the stars, and the canopycreated an intimate, sanctified space inwhich to take the vows. It also repre-sents the new home for the marriedcouple. The chuppah is a reminder ofthe desert tents of our nomadic ances-tors. For these reasons, some traditionalreception facilities have skylights posi-tioned over the place where the chup-pah will stand.A traditional chuppah is a fabric cover-ing held up by four poles, open on allfour sides. Since there are no legal re-quirements as to the chuppah's shapeor dimensions, couples havecreated new chuppah traditions thatexpress their unique personalities.Some customs have involved using atallit, perhaps a family heirloom or yourBar/Bat Mitzvah tallit. Others have usedcraft-type projects such as quilts, em-broidered or silk-screened fabric, or cus-tom lettered projects. In fact, thechuppah can be a group or communityproject of special sentimental value.CirclingWhen the couple first enters the chup-pah, the bride circles the groom seventimes, perhaps accompanied by musicor a soloist, and sometimes escorted byboth mothers. This is a very old custom,the meaning and origin of which has noconsensus. It is nevertheless a nice

touch, beautifully moving if not a bitexotic. One explanation is that it repre-sents the seven wedding blessings andseven days of creation, and demonstrat-ing that the groom is the center of herworld. Another comes from the Bible,which says that a woman encompassesand protects a man.The circling was known in ancient timesto be a magical means of protection,building an invisible wall around thegroom, protecting him from evil spirits.It can be seen also as an act that definesa new family circle, binding the bride tothe groom and away from the parents.Mystically speaking, the bride may beseen as entering the seven spheres ofthe groom’s soul. Joshua circled the wallof Jericho seven times, and then thewalls fell down. So, too, after the bridewalks around the groom seven times,the walls between themwill fall andtheir souls will be united. These are ob-scure ideas for a modern wedding, soyou may want to explain this and othercustoms in a wedding booklet availableto your guests.Of course, circling has been rejected bysome Jews in the recent past as evi-dence of the patriarchal and demeaningnature of the bride circling around her‘master’, marking her territory fromother women. But it can also be seen asa strong act of definition: Here is thespace we will share together. Somecouples have also modernized the ritualby circling one another, first the bridearound the groom clockwise, then thegroom around the bride the other way.This mutual circling is a statement ofbalance and reciprocal respect in de-claring a space together and the break-ing down of barriers.

KiddushinThe Jewish wedding ceremony has twoparts, kiddushin and nisuin, which areperformed together under the chup-pah, but which have distinct differ-ences. Kiddushin, which translates as"sanctification" or "dedication", is actu-ally a betrothal ceremony, a bonding oftwo souls into one with each other andwith G_d. The bride and groom estab-lish an exclusive relationship.The Rabbi greets everyone and makestwo blessings over a cup of wine. Aswith all Jewish simchas, wine is a sym-bol of abundance and joy. The bride andgroom take a sip of wine. Next comesthe ring, the essential part of the cere-mony. The groom places a plain goldring, without any stones or embellish-ments, on the index finger of the bride’sright hand, the finger thought to be di-rectly connected to the heart. Thegroom repeats the blessing: "Behold,you are consecrated to me with this ringaccording to the laws of Moses and Is-rael." This thousand-year-old practice,the act of kiddushin, completes the be-trothal. The kiddushin has accomplishedkinyan, the symbolic act of the bride ac-quiring something of value from thegroom, and Jewish law now considersthemmarried.In a double ring ceremony the bridethen repeats the process with a similar,but gender-corrected, version of the

The Wedding Ceremony Continued...

The Wedding Service

can assist in choosing the best music.The logistics of the procession andstanding under the chuppah can cause

friction and anxiety, and for this reasonalone you may wish to have a weddingrehearsal. Some rabbis dismiss this as awaste of time, while others will gladly

accommodate your request, so be sureto ask.

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same blessing. This is often not allowedby more traditional rabbis because it issaid to invalidate kinyan, the formal actof the bride acquiring something ofvalue from the groom (since an ex-change is being made). In that case thebride may present the groom’s ring, andthe bride’s ring placed on her left ringfinger, after the ceremony (and foreverafter).If wedding vows, or "I do’s" are desired,and the rabbi agrees to speak them,they will be exchanged at this point.Some really beautiful vows, mutualpromises or poetry, often written by thebride and groom affirming their devo-tion for one another, can be added as apowerful personal statement to the cer-emony.NisuinThe second part of the wedding cere-mony, nisuin, the nuptials, completesthe marriage. Because the two parts ofthe ceremony, kiddushin and nisuinwere historically separated, the ketubahis read aloud before the nuptials as away of clearly separating the twohalves. The text is usually read aloud inAramaic, often repeated in English. Theketubah is then stored away for safekeeping, or it may be displayed on aneasel for guests to inspect. The rabbimay then say a few words about thecouple, particularly if he/she has knownthe couple, or one of them, for a while,or he may launch into a longer sermon.The nisuin begins with the seven bless-ings, sheva b'rachot, and ends withyichud, or seclusion, after the ceremony.The seven blessings begin with anotherfull cup of wine. They may be recited bythe Rabbi or by various guests the cou-ple wish to honor. Although it’s usuallynot a problem, they must be recited inthe presence of a minyan, a formal quo-rum of ten adults. In addition to a bless-ing over the wine, there is praise forG_d as creator of the world and of menand women; a prayer for the newlymarried couple and of the ten degreesof rejoicing. The blessings also include aprayer that Jerusalemwill be fully re-built and restored with theTemple in itsmidst and the Jewish people within her

gates, showing wishes not only for theindividuals but the community in whichthey live. The couple then drinks fromthe second cup of wine. The Rabbi pro-nounces the couple officiallyhusband and wife.The GlassThe traditional ending of a Jewish wed-ding is probably the most recognizedfeature: breaking the glass. It is an oldcustom that is not formally part of theceremony, yet pages have been writtenabout its meaning, which has beenwidely interpreted. A glass is placed onthe floor, often wrapped in cloth or anapkin to prevent injury, and the groombreaks it with his foot. Some coupleseven choose to break it together, whichis fine. The crowd shouts "Mazel Tov!"and joyous music begins (Siman Tov andMazel Tov is a favorite!). Butwhat doesbreaking the glassrepresent? Here are some opinions:• Even during times of great joy, we

should remember the tragic de-struction of theTemple in Jerusalem,symbolizing all suffering by Jewseverywhere;

• A representation of the fragility ofhuman relationships;

• A reminder that marriage transformsthe lives of individuals forever;

• It represents a break with childhoodand the parents’home;

• In contrast to the solemnmoments ofthe ceremony, the loud crash signalslevity and celebration to begin;

• A symbol of the irrevocability ofmarriage;

• This is the last time the groom gets to"put his foot down."

Yichud-SeclusionAfter the couple leave the chuppah, tra-dition calls for them to retire to a privateroomwhere they might spend ten orfifteen minutes together alone inyichud–seclusion. This is historically aritual reserved only for married couples,and they are escorted to the room bywitnesses and the door is closed. This isa wonderful time to reflect on the unionof two souls without interference, tohug and kiss, to take a breather before

you are once again the center of atten-tion. It is customary to eat together as amarried couple for the first time, break-ing fast (except for those sips of wineduring the ceremony) if you havefasted. Chicken broth has been served inAshkenazic tradition as a symbol ofprosperity to come. Sephardic traditioncalls for a meal of doves symbolizingmarital peace. Another idea is a glass ofchampagne and a plate of cocktail hourhors d’oeuvres that you might other-wise never taste (talk to the caterer orask a friend to bring this). Eat some-thing here because, given the excite-ment and schedule of events, manycouples do not eat much at their ownwedding. This is also a good time toplace the rings on the correct fingers,remove the veil, tallit and other cere-monial garb.When you emerge fromthe yichud, you are the newest marriedcouple in the room.As a practical matter, this time gives thecaterer and guests a fewminutes totransition into the dining hall orcocktail area, to visit the rest rooms,congratulate the parents, and so on. Italso avoids the reception line, at leastimmediately after the ceremony, whichleaves guests wandering around whilewaiting for the line to end.The Reception LineThis has become a standard at manyAmerican weddings, even Jewish ones,so you may still wish to have one, espe-cially if you are not observing yichud. Ifso, it may be held immediately after theceremony, after yichud, or after a cock-tail hour. The format is often the same,including both sets of parents, brideand groom, maid/ matron of honor andbridesmaids. The best man and ushersdo not participate, particularly sinceushers are not required at Jewish wed-dings. This is the place for guests to ex-press congratulations and for parents tokvell-swell with pride. Keep smiling, begracious, but don’t chat too long. It’s OKto ask names if you don’t know; mostfolks are glad to introduce themselves.

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Order your invitations at leastsix months before the event.Check the wording carefully, you don’t want toinadvertently leave something out. Ask your friendsto show you any invitations they may have saved touse as a reference, or examine wording arrangementsin the invitation books. Also, don’t rush the decision,you may need to look at several sample books overa period of weeks before you make up your mind,especially if you are letting your child help you decide.Remember to order extra envelopes for addresschanges or if a mistake is made. Hire calligraphyservice as soon as the invitations arrive, to allowplenty of time for the project to be completed.

InvitationsStart on your database of invitees early.List everyone, select your final list later.Ask you calligrapher about lead timesfor invitations and seating cards.This will help determent the dateyou send invitations and theRSVP.Not everyone you invitewill be able to attend.This should figure intoyour planning. Consultyou caterer, calligrapher,or party planner for adviceon how many more gueststo invite, based on your cir-cumstances, over the num-ber of attendees you areplanning.

See www.milestonesmagazine.comfor more ideas.

PartyPointer!

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The Wedding ProgramAWedding Program is compiled and produced by thefamily for distribution to congregants and guests by theushers, or inserted into prayer books. It can have a varietyof unique features aimed at relatives and friends, guests,congregants, non-Jewish guests, and so on. These alsomake great keepsakes of the wedding.

Here are some examples:• A step-by-step description of the ceremony.• Explanation of themeaning of a JewishWedding ceremony.• Comments by the bride and groom on the personalmeaning of the day or comments from close relatives.

• Poems, wedding vows or a copy of your wedding invitation.• A description of the history and tradition behind theketubah, the chuppah, or rituals such as circling, the SevenBlessings, and breaking the glass.

• Explanation of the music used in the processional orduring the ceremony.

• The text of your ketubah.• Photographs of the bride and groom. Creative, additionslike ribbon or lace are nice. Check with your Rabbi firstbefore making copies to distribute.

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Translated as“Son/daughter of the commandments”, one be-comes a Bar or Bat Mitzvah at age 13 (12 for girls in most Or-thodox congregations) independent of a ceremonymarkingthe occasion.By tradition, because a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is acustom, not a commandment, age 13 is when a child becomesobligated to the ritual responsibilities of Jewish life. This is re-ferred to as the“commandment age”, the“age of majority”, or a“religious coming of age”. At this point in the young adult’s life,he or she is presumed to be responsible for those religious obli-gations independent of the parents.Those obligationsmight includemitzvot, being part of aminyan (religious prayer quorum), fasting onYomKippur, lead-ing the congregation in prayer or wearing tefillin.Therefore, be-coming a Bar/BatMitzvah is certainly animportant life-cycle event. In secular terms, this point in a teen’slife, oftenmarks enormous growth andmaturityreflected by several years of study and practice before thespecial day. Combinedwith the responsibility of Jewish adult-hood, this event often brings an overwhelmingwave ofemotion to parents and close relatives.This event is marked by participation in services, reading theTorah and leading the congregation in prayer. After theservice, it is customary to celebrate with a special meal to com-memorate themitzvah. Over time, the party, or simcha, hasevolved.This is a way for families to celebrate a rite ofpassage, as well as bring extended families together to reunitefor a joyous celebration.

2 Years Before the Event• Obtain date fromTemple/Synagogue.• Set your budget.• Decide on the type of event you want

(day, evening, formal etc.).• Estimate number of guests

and book reception hall or caterer.• Book the photographer/videographer.1 1/2 Years Before the Event• Book the DJ/band.• Decide on your party theme and color scheme.6-12 Months Before the Event• Your child will start formal lessons/training• Talk to florists about prices and floral designs.• Decide on centerpieces/balloon designs.• Start looking at invitation designs and prices.6-8 Months Before the Event• Book a hotel block for out-of-town guests.• Start clothes shopping.• Send out“Save the Date”reminders3-6 Months Before the Event• Order or design your sign-in board and guest book.• Order favors.• Order yarmulkes.• Order your invitations.3 Months Before the Event• Finalize guest list.• Make a hotel packet for out-of-towners.• Try to make your final selections on

clothing and accessories.• Buy stamps.• Have completely assembled invitations

weighed to ensure correct postage.• Find a calligrapher.6-8 Weeks Before the Event• Mail the invitations.• Make up a song list for the DJ/band.• Make appointments with florists/balloonist

and place your order.1 Month before the Event• Make hair stylist and manicure appointments.• Have final fittings done for clothing.• Arrange catering for brunch.2-3 Weeks before the Event• Choose people for Aliyot and honors.

• Choose the people to be honored for thecandle lighting ceremony and write poems.

• Meet with the DJ/band and make sure they knowthe candle lighting songs.

• Do guest seating arrangements andsend to the reception hall.

• Order the food for Kiddush or Oneg Shabbat.• Make sure the arrangements are complete with

centerpieces, balloons, sign-in board, etc.• Write prayers or speeches.• Send final instructions to photographer/videographer.• Pay all Synagogue fees.1 Week before the Event• Take formal pictures and pictures on Bimah.• Meet with the caterer to finalize guest count.• Make arrangements to get your guests

from the airport to the hotel.• Confirm your brunch arrangements.

What is a Bar/BatMitzvah?

JanuaryBar/Bat MitzvahTimetableStart Planning Early!

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This section featuresDJs, Live Bands, Karaoke,Vocalists, Magicians,and Caricaturists.You may want to askthe following questions whenhiring your DJ or band:

• Are you familiar with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah routineand have you done them before?

• Will you play songs/games usually seen at theseevents: i.e. hoola hoop, dance contests, chicken dance,hokey pokey?

• What type of music do you play?• Do you have a song list?• How long do you play and how

many breaks do you take?• What is the price, deposit amount,

and when is the balance due?• Do you have references?

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Bar and Bat Mitzvah themes today rangefrom StarWars to "Elvis." These are cer-tainly fun and exciting, but with the ex-ception of "Uncle Sidney" doing themotzi, no one would have a clue that thereal reason for the celebration is actually aBar or Bat Mitzvah. However, you don’thave to abandon any of your creativethemes, while still adding touches of“Jewishness”. To paraphrase the title of a popular book on BarMitzvah’s…Don't Forget to Put G-d on the Guest List!Here are some terrific“additions”to your theme: a center-piece and basket of canned goods to be donated to tzedakah,or a back drop of TheWesternWall during your candle-light-ing ceremony. Programs like The Amazing Bottle Dancers,(yes…they really dance with bottles of wine atop theirhats!) feature authentic Klezmer music, and bring with thema sense of the old country, and even feature a Grand Entrancecarrying in the Bar Mitzvah boy high atop their shoulders, or

the Bat Mitzvah girl in on a throne fit forQueen Esther!Some will ask,“How does that fit in withmy son’s theme, for example of ‘Baseball’”? The answer is simple. When you havea Hora, are you going to be dancing to“Take Me Out To The Ballgame”? Ofcourse not, you’ll be dancing to Jewishmusic! Themes revolve around decora-

tions. You’ll find PLENTY of opportunities to involve some-thing Jewish, and even meaningful, while still having atheme!Some have even discovered Jewish Themes, such as: Israel orJewish Hero's, or something quite extraordinary, a themecalled…BAR MITZVAH. What a concept!There’s a sameness to most Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. Finally,here’s a chance to add something so wonderful, so unique,your guests will appreciate and enjoy it! After all, a little tra-dition never hurt!

Adding Tradition:Too much ‘Bar’ and not enough ‘Mitzvah’ isn't good for your Simcha!By Michael Pasternak, creator of THE AMAZING BOTTLE DANCERS (see ad opposite).

Tips On Selecting A DJ: Ask and TellBy Joe Pachino, Entertainment By Joe Pachino, 410-653-2596, (See display ad, page 31)

ASK! (Part I)Regardless of market size, how do you know who’s the creamof the crop? As you speak with DJs, pay particular attention totheir professionalism on the phone. It often tends to spill overinto their DJ style. A strained conversation doesn’t bode wellfor your piece of mind. Mobile Disc Jockey publications andtrade groups exist. Does your DJ subscribe? Is he a participat-ing member? Ask.And ask about a request policy. A good DJ should work someguest requests into his routine. However, don’t expect him toplay them all. They may be inappropriate for the mood of theevent. A DJ isn’t just a record changer. He wants to motivatethe crowd. The art of DJing is timing, and forcing him to ig-nore his instincts by playing every request will result in an“uneven”(and less fun) party. But DJs aim to please and an-ticipate requests. (I receive, in large part, the same ones atevery affair!)

TELLIt’s OK to provide a list of a few songs and tell your DJ thatthey’re MUST HAVE. But DON’T make a list pages long. Alsoremember, given the opportunity to make that list, the“na-ture of the beast”is that children are self-centered. They’ll al-ways list their favorite tunes, giving no thought to adultpreferences or DJ leeway. They won’t notice, nor care about,the adults who are sitting there gritting their teeth to the Top10 on MTV.Your DJ should be aware of the lyrics, but you can still supply

him with a DON’T PLAY list. Lyric issues aside, some othersongs are silly, but they’re fun. And that’s really all you wantyour affair to be, right? Just because you may be tired of nov-elty dances like The Hokey Pokey, Macarena, Hands Up,Bunny Hop, The Electric Slide or Cha-Cha Slide (AND CANYOUBEGIN TO IMAGINE HOWWE DJs FEEL?), they’re known asInteractive Songs. If your DJ plays one or two, it’ll motivateyour guests--even if they don’t feel likeVariety in music is essential and your DJ will bring a muchlarger assortment, but time only allows for 60-70 songs in atypical 4-hour show. Having the proper 65 is what’s impor-tant. DJs won’t track through all of Engelbert Humperdinck’sGreatest Hits at your affair, just as they won’t play HeavyMetal or Rap music at a Class of ’60 Reunion.

TIME OF DAYAre you planning a luncheon or an evening reception? Thereare pros and cons to both. Either way, you have plenty ofcompany. It doesn’t mean a thing one way or the otherbut, for the past several years, the percentage of myclients having luncheons has been increasing. Last year, itwas just about a draw.The preceding was excerpted from DJ’s Secrets Revealed!How To Select (And Get TheMost Out Of) Your Bar or BatMitz-vah DJ by Joe Pachino. For more valuable tips visitwww.djs-secrets.com. Joe Pachino has been a Radio andMobile DJ in Baltimore since 1974.

(Continued on page 36)

Image by: Debra Liberman Photography

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Read entire article online at:MilestonesMagazine.com.

If you expect guests from out-of-town to share theBar/Bat Mitzvah’s or wedding couple’s special moments,consider the following:HotelsReserve early! Even if no holiday is apparent on your date,hotels fill up because of conventions, retreats, etc. Hotelrooms are usually reserved in blocks. Some charge fees toreserve. This can be especially helpful if you havea number of guests arriving during a period when hotelsare busy. Consider reserving rooms at two or more hotels forconvenience and different price levels. A small“welcomepackage”from the host family is a nice touch to make out-of-town guests feel at home. Hotels can arrange these for afee, or you can package them inexpensively and the hotelwill usually distribute them for free. Contents can includesnacks, kosher foods, home baked goods, toys and cards forchildren, soda, fruits, mementos, etc. Flowers for the roomare also a nice touch. A shuttle service is a convenient way totransport guests unfamiliar with local roads to the syna-gogue or simcha site, especially for an evening event. Checkwith hotels for airport shuttles. You could arrange ride–sharing for guests renting cars and staying at the same hoteland/or arriving at the same time. Also check into trans-portation companies who offer packages or hourly rates. Seelimousine tips on our web site.

Out-Of-Towners GuideInvitationsSend a“save the date”postcard to out-of-towners 6-10months in advance to assure that other plans won’t conflictwith your special day. See a sample of a“Save The DatePoem”on our web site.Include a map and directions for all activities during the dayor weekend. Directions should cover from the hotel(s) to thesynagogue, and, if applicable, to the function hall. Try pho-tocopying a local map to locate the synagogue with locationcircled. Mapquest.com and Google Maps are helpful websites.Family ActivitiesAdditional activities add another dimension to the Bar/BatMitzvah or wedding experience and allow opportunities toenjoy relatives and friends that you may not see frequently.Consider the following: If your child is becoming a Bar or BatMitzvah on Saturday Morning, invite guests to the synagogueon Friday night to enjoy the service and Oneg Shabbat. Thisalso applies to the Ufruf before the wedding. Family portraitscan be arranged at home, at the reception site, or syna-gogue. A“morning after”brunch is a delightful way to wrapup the simcha and allow families andfriends to be together one more time.

Some families give customizeditems or favors to the childrenattending the receptionportion of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.This section includes ideas forgive-aways, contest prizes, andsupplies. Wedding guests areusually treated to a favor ormemento, as well as specialgifts for the bridal party.

• Personalized Sport Bottles• Imprinted Boxer Shorts• Personalized Balls orSports Equipment• Monogrammed orImprinted Towels• Keychains• Photo Favors

• Custom Playing Cards• Caricatures• Imprinted T-ShirtsHint: Photo Favors Vendorsand Caricature Artists atyour party are greatentertainment, as well as asource of favors.

Great Favor Ideas

www.milestonesmagazine.comParty & Event Planning36

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More and more families rely on party and event planners to assist themin making the right decisions, ordering goods and supplies,hiring disc jockeys, bands, and other services. Some party plannersmay offer to design and make all of the decorations. They may chargea flat fee for planning the affair and then charge an hourly rate to coor-dinate the event. Some offer an hourly rate for all their services.

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Frequently Asked QuestionsWe just received our child’sBar/Bat Mitzvah date, what isthe first thing we should do?After speaking with your B’nai Mitzvah committee chair orcoordinator about Synagogue rules, or consulting writtenpolicies and guidelines, discuss with your family the typeof party everyone wants and what the budget will allow.Then start looking at photographers and the hall. Thesetwo services seem to need more time to secure. Check thePlanning TimeTable on page 30.How much will we, as parents, be asked toparticipate on the Bimah during the service?This question will have to be answered by your Rabbi orSynagogue staff. Depending on the Synagogue, some par-ents will make a speech, bless their child, or participate inthe service. This is truly an honor and a pleasure–don’t letstage fright ruin this precious moment.Should we choose an evening affair or an af-ternoon kiddish luncheon?Certainly, this will be a topic of discussion for the entirefamily. Often the choice has to do with how many out-of-town relatives you expect, the amount of money you wantto spend, the size of the affair, and many other variables.Generally, it is more expensive to have an evening simcha,but an evening affair lends itself to a more formal atmos-phere. You may want to offer a kiddish luncheon after theservice for your guests or the entire congregation. In somesynagogues, sponsoring a Kiddush luncheon and/or anOneg Shabbat on Friday evening is expected. So, after-noon and evening events are not mutually exclusive, youcould have both.Your family should discuss what type ofpublic event you want to sponsor and what role food willplay in that event.How can we make our non-Jewish friends feelmore comfortable at my Bar/Bat Mitzvah service?You may want to explain the service to them ahead oftime. Rules regarding proper etiquette vary by synagogue,so ask staff or your Rabbi for Synagogue rules or policies.In some places kippot are required to be worn by all malevisitors, for instance. You could explain that this does notmake your guests Jewish, it is a sign of respect. Checkwith your Rabbi to be sure. See the feature on Bar/BatMitzvah Booklet on page 20. Also consult Jeffrey Salkin’sPutting G-d on the Guest List, which has an entire sectionon this subject, or How To Be A Perfect Stranger: The Essen-tial Religious Handbook, by ArthurMagida, both for saleonwww.milestonesmagazine.com.

What type of gift is appropriate for the Bar/BatMitzvah child?If your child is attending their friend’s affair, generally acheck in the amount of $54 (triple Chai) is a nice gift (or amultiple of Chai - $18.), depending on how close thefriendship. Some families offer checks, tributes, donations,or purchase presents, again depending on whether it is arelative or friend, closeness of the two families, or howmany people are attending from your family. Religiousitems, such as menorahs are also nice gifts.What is the appropriate attire to wear to aBar/Bat Mitzvah?At the Synagogue, wear whatever you would wear to atypical service. Some families buy new clothing for theoccasion. Remember to dress with appropriate respect forthe house of worship you attend. If you have a simcha atnight or the next day, dress according to the theme, placeand tenor of the affair. Remember to instruct guests in theinvitations if you have special dress requirements.If we can have a Bar Mitzvah on a Saturday,why can't we get married on Saturday?Well, you can, but after sunset, when Shabbat is officiallyover. The issue isn't Saturday, it is Shabbat (Friday sunset toSaturday sunset). B'nai Mitzvot are celebrations conductedas part of regular services when theTorah is read aloud(Saturday morning). Jewish tradition recognizes that theThirteen-year-old becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah independ-ent of any celebration. The congregation is part of the cere-mony: a young person takes full responsibility for their ownreligious obligations, starting with an alliyah for the read-ing of Torah, reciting the Sh'ma, leading the congregationin prayer, and presentation of D'var Torah. This coming ofage is shared by the Jewish community and is therefore apublic event. One that typically occurs on Saturday, but canalso occur on other days when theTorah is read.Weddings are private affairs that do not typically involve anentire congregation. And in contrast to the happy, celebra-tory nature of a wedding, Shabbat is a time for quietreflection and for rest. A wedding is work, and it involves alegal contract, themes not suited for Shabbat. It is there-fore rare to find a Rabbi who will marry a couple on Shab-bat. Saturday after dark is OK, but Sunday is by far the mostpopular day for Jewish weddings, especially during theSummer when dusk on Saturday is so late.

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Photography & Videography is usedto capture the joy, the charm, andthe magic of the event.Some questions to ask when choosinga photographer and/or videographer...Do you have references? Ask for names of past clientsand to see a portfolio and/or sample albums/tapes. Be sure tocall these references!What is your background and experience? Makesure they have experience in Mitzvahs/Weddings. Experienceoften makes a difference in the end product, but it can costmore as well.Do you have an assistant?What is his/her experience?Many experienced professionals use assistants for lightingand backup equipment.

What is the cost for your services? Research prices byreceiving several price quotes from other photographersand videographers. The least expensive is not always the best.Ask photographers howmany photos will be taken, will can-dids and tables be taken, number of hours taking pictures,will you be able to keep proofs and/or negatives,are packages available? Some synagogues only allowbimah/Torah photos hours or days before the event–canthis be accommodated? Likewise, videography is often soldin packages and may include simple music and editing,or may include visual effects, photo montages, guest inter-views, professional titles, and more! Price is often reflects ex-perience, technology, and more.What lighting will be required? If lighting equipmentis necessary, know this up front to assure that it does not be-come obtrusive to congregants, guests, and staff.A Digital Memory: The latest technology is digitalphotography and videography. Because it is relatively new,both traditional and digital equipment is currently in use,sometimes side-by-side. Satisfactory results are availablein standard and digital photography but the end resultshould be clear, crisp images in the sizes you want. Digitalvideo can easily be delivered on a DVD and photography ona CD or flash drive; you get great results from both.And don’t forget...It is very important that youcommunicate well with the photographer/ videographer!

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Banquet Facilities& HotelsBethesda Marriott Suites6711 Democracy Blvd.Bethesda, MD301-571-2218301-897-5600www.marriott.com/wassb(see our display ad, page 8)Superior boutique style hotel featuring awelcoming ambiance. A perfect venuefor your special event.

Hilton Gaithersburg620 Perry ParkwayGaithersburg, MD301-977-8900www.gaithersburg.hilton.com(seeourdisplayad, InsideFrontCover)In the center of NorthwestWashington’shigh tech corridor and only twenty milesfromWashington DC, the HiltonGaithersburg provides superior service,premium location, and extraordinaryamenities. Home of theWashingtonarea’s largest Bnai Mitzvah SimchaShowcase and your Bar/Bat Mitzvah andWeddings hotel!Holiday Inn Arlington at Ballston4610 Fairfax Dr.Arlington, VA703-243-9800www.hiarlington.com(see our display ad, page 7)Featuring inspired entrees and craftedcocktails, let us take care of everything soyou can focus on your day.RadissonWashington DC-Rockville3 Research Ct.Rockville, MD301-840-0200www.radisson.com/rockvillemd(see our display ad, page 11)At the RadissonWashington DC/Rockville Hotel, we’ll help you bringpeople together for unforgettablereunions, charity balls, holidaycelebrations and special occasions. Ourtalented and experienced staff willpartner with you to design the idealsocial event, ensuring your guests feelmore then welcome with unique spaces,creative themes and excellent food.Sheraton Baltimore North Hotel903 Dulaney Valley Rd.Towson, MD410-321-7400www.SheratonBaltimoreNorth.com

(see our display ad, page 9)Your friends and family will enjoySheraton Baltimore North Hotel's 283elegant and spacious guest rooms. Ournewly renovated lobby will be theperfect place for your guests to arrive instyle and comfort. At the end of the day,enjoy our complimentary pool/fitnessroom, great location, and our full-servicerestaurant. You and your loved ones willsleep soundly on our ultra plushSheraton Sweet Sleeper(SM) beds.The Hotel at Arundel Preserve7795 Arundel Mills BoulevardHanover, MD410-796-9830www.thehotelarundel.com(see our display ad, on page 6)Our full-service Hanover hotel offerseverything you need to plan the perfectevent. The Hotel at Arundel Preserveprovides an unparalleled level of serviceand personal attention to ensure thatyour event is a first-rate gathering.

CateringCatering By AlanWeiss8 Gwynns Mill Ct.Owings Mills, MD443-394-8338 or 1-800-459-0009www.CateringByAlanWeiss.com(see our display ad, page 13)First class Kosher catering providingmeat and dairy cuisine. TraditionalSitdown, Contemporary, and GourmetStations. Call for a free consultation.Catering available at all Synagogues andmany hotels and catering facilities, orvenue of your choice. Under thesupervision of Star K and the RabbinicalCouncil of GreaterWashington.Helga’s Caterers6710 Old Dominion Dr.McLean, VA703-556-0780www.HelgasCatering.com(see our display ad, page 14)Full service caterer voted Top 5 Caterer bychannel 9 USATV specializing in alltypes of simcha celebrations.The Omelette GuysServing DC, MD, VA443-219-2545 or 1-888-410-3447www.TheOmeletteGuys.com(see our display ad, page 12)Specializing in breakfast and brunchcatering in your home or office. Enjoy

fresh food made-to-order, for anyoccasion. Kosher available. Book yourevent today!

ChuppahsCharm City ChuppahsSykesville, MDServing Maryland, DC and Virginia1-877-856-5490www.charmcitychuppahs.com(see our display ad, page 23)Elegant, hand-crafted chuppahs madefrom the finest fabrics, perfect with orwithout flowers. Available for rental orpurchase. Delivery and set-up availablein many areas.

ClothingSynchronicity Boutique25 Hooks LanePikesville, MD410-486-8866 or 1-877-919-7766www.SynchronicityBoutique.com(see our display ad, pages 15 and 16)Voted "Baltimore's Best" Prom store.Wehave the largest selection of gowns forevery special occasion.We carry all of thehottest styles from amazing designerssuch as, Sherri Hill dresses, Jovanidresses, Faviana, Mac Duggal, BlushProm, Josh and Jaz, House ofWu, MonCheri, Rachel Allen, Madison James andmore!We are also the only women'sspecial occasion boutique in Marylandwith a Better Business Bureau A+Accredited!We look forward to beingable to dress you for all of your specialoccasions!

Decorations &Theme DesignInnovative Party Planners11459 Cronhill Drive, Suite NOwings Mills, MD410-998-9999InnovativePartyPlanners.com(see our display ad, page 36)For 20 years, Innovative Party Plannershas been helping area families plan anddecorate creative, unique andmemorable event experiences. Theyprovide planning, theme event decor,lighting, staging, chuppahs, balloondecor, floral design, furniture rental,invitations, place cards, signage, partyfavors, event production and day ofcoordination for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah

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celebrations,Weddings, Anniversaries,Birthdays and more. They have earned areputation for excellence and are anindustry leader in event décor, designand planning. Making the preparation ofyour event as enjoyable as yourcelebration!

Mona’s Candle Lighting CreationsSykesville , MD410-549-5490 or 1-877-856-5490www.milestonesmagazine.com/candlelighting.htm(see our display ad, page 18)Honor your friends and family withtradition, elegance and style. Huge se-lection of glittered styles and colors forany theme. Great as photo backdrops orstand alone decorations. Reasonablypriced and delivered to your door. Every-one will remember it!

Music &EntertainmentBANDS & DJS14K MusicThe “Original”Moonlighters1105 30th St. NWWashington, DC202-857-8700www.MoonlightersWeddingBand.com(see our display ad, page 5)DC’s#1 Motown andVariety Dance Band!Customizable to fit any budget, ourauthentic soulful sound will keep yourguests out on the dance floor.DJ Mike On The MicBaltimore, MD410-299-8069www.DJMikeOnTheMic.com(see our display ad, page 31)I’ll create amemorable and fun celebrationfor your family and friends. Since 1995,I’ve been a Disc Jockey, Master of Cere-monies and Event Coordinator at over700 parties. I also provide enhancementsfor your reception such as light shows,interactive dancers, silhouette screen,Mitzvah montage, video dance party,party favors, your name in lights, jamcam, pucker powder and/or beamz.The music and entertainment reflect theimportance of your upcoming affair. Sobook your date with DJ Mike OnThe Micand leave everything to me.

OTHER ENTERTAINMENTAmazing Bottle DancersNationwide1-800-716-0556www.BottleDancers.com(see our display ad, page 33)The ULTIMATE ADDITION to everythingyou’re planning. Isn’t the success of yourevent worth a few minutes to see ouramazing video & website? See whyeveryone is raving!Double-E Entertainment3010 Sanctuary LaneFrederick, MD301-370-6432 or 1-855-330-9990www.ee-entertainment.com(see our display ad, page 34)Double-E Entertainment is yourentertainment boutique!We know thatyou could go elsewhere for your DJ/MC,photographers, photo booth, AV/Light-ing needs, specialty acts, and livemusicians. That's why we give youpersonal, individualized service.Westrive to exceed your expectations.NY ExclusiveServing theWashington-BaltimoreMetro Area877-860-2246www.nyestreaming.com(see our display ad, Inside back cover)We do not want to just meet yourexpectations, we want to exceed them. Itis this attitude and firm standard, thatallows us to maintain such a high level ofexcellence.NYX Entertainment & Events12115-F Parklawn Dr.Rockville, MD301-984-0500 or 1-800-969-9474www.nyxevents.com(see our display ad, page 1)NYX Entertainment & Events is anentertainment design and productioncompany that delivers creative, memo-rable entertainment. Our award-winningentertainment services include DJs,lighting, multimedia production, photobooths, NYX Live bands and all thingsentertainment-related under one roof.

Novelties & FavorsAsiPhotos.comStevenson, MD410-643-0302 or 1-888-306-3686www.AsiPhotos.comPhotography and videography at prices

to keep you smiling.We offer the area’smost diverse services at very competitiveprices. Call or email for a quote for photoservices, instant photo favors, albums,retouching, restoration, video editing andslide show production and display foryour next event. Serving the Mid-Atlantic Jewish Community since 1975.Event Digital Photography6817 Carlynn CourtBethesda, MD301-229-3305www.eventdigital.com(see our display ad, page 40)Specialists in Interactive Photographysince 1990. Offering full event coverage,green screen studio, green screen photobooth, open air photo booth, socialphoto and more!PhotofettiServing Nationwide1-866-496-3168www.photofetti.com(see our display ad, page 17)Turn your photos into confetti! Visit ourwebsite to learn many creative andunique ways to use Photofetti to makeyour event memorable and personalized.Photo Fun PlusOwings Mills, MD443-465-5809www.PhotoFunPlus.com(see our display ad, page 35)Let us help make your Bar/Bat Mitzvah,Wedding or special event even morespecial with our novelty photos and veryaffordable videography.We specialize in“Growing Up”photo montages. Checkout our website to see video samples ofall we do.The Rose Keepsake Co.607 North Ave.Wakefield, MA1-800-590-4115www.rosekeepsakes.com(see our display ad, page 21)What do you do with your flowers?We preserve your flowers into beautifulkeepsakes that will last forever. The newStar of David necklace shown in our ad ismade with actual flower petals in thecenter.We also offer an extensive prod-uct line of keepsakes.

www.milestonesmagazine.comDirectory Of Resources44

Party & EventPlanning14K MusicThe “Original”Moonlighters1105 30th St. NWWashington, DC202-857-8700MoonlightersWeddingBand.com(see our display ad, page 5)DC’s#1 Motown andVariety Dance Band!Customizable to fit any budget, ourauthentic soulful sound will keep yourguests out on the dance floor.Amazing Bottle DancersNationwide1-800-716-0556www.BottleDancers.com(see our display ad, page 33)The ULTIMATE ADDITION to everythingyou’re planning. Isn’t the success of yourevent worth a few minutes to see ouramazing video & website? See whyeveryone is raving!Innovative Party Planners11459 Cronhill Drive, suite NOwings Mills, MD410-998-9999innovativepartyplanners.com(see our display ad, page 36)For 20 years, Innovative Party Plannershas been helping area families plan anddecorate creative, unique andmemorable event experiences. Theyprovide planning, theme event decor,lighting, staging, chuppahs, balloondecor, floral design, furniture rental,invitations, place cards, signage, partyfavors, event production and day ofcoordination for your Bar/Bat Mitzvahcelebrations,Weddings, Anniversaries,Birthdays and more. They have earned areputation for excellence and are anindustry leader in event décor, designand planning. Making the preparation ofyour event as enjoyable as yourcelebration!Memorable Mitzvahs1050 30th St. NWWashington, DC844-MAZ-LTOVwww.MemorableMitzvahs.com(see our display ad, page 37)Celebrating a Mitzvah? Let MemorableMitzvahs make it an occasion that youwill remember for the rest of your life.We offer full service Jewish Life Cycleevents planning, including Brit milahs,Baby namings, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs,

Weddings, and Shiva.SAVE THE DATE, LLC5524Wilkins Ct.Rockville, MD301-983-6222www.savethedatemd.com(see our display ad, page 37)SAVE THE DATE, LLC events andpromotions your way. Award winningevent planning company since 1995.Wehave everything you need to plan yourevent under one roof, specializing inplanning and day of services. Visit us forinvitations, up-lighting, decor, flavors,promotional items, consignment decorand so much more.The Omelette GuysServing DC, MD, VA443-219-2545 or 1-888-410-3447www.TheOmeletteGuys.com(see our display ad, page 12)Specializing in breakfast and brunchcatering in your home or office. Enjoyfresh food made-to-order, for anyoccasion. Kosher available. Book yourevent today!

Photography &VideographyAnthony Marill Photography1109 Prospect Hill PlaceRockville, MD301-545-0117www.anthonymarillphoto.com(see our display ad, page 40)Anthony Marill Photography is afull-service photography studio inRockville, Maryland.We specialize inportraits, bar/bat mitzvahs, weddings,parties and special events.AsiPhotos.comStevenson, MD410-643-0302 or 1-888-306-3686www.AsiPhotos.comPhotography and videography at pricesto keep you smiling.We offer the area’smost diverse services at very competitiveprices. Call or email for a quote for photoservices, instant photo favors, albums,retouching, restoration, video editing andslide show production and display foryour next event. Serving the Mid-Atlantic Jewish Community since 1975.

Bradley ImagesPhotography & Video1498 Reisterstown Rd., Suite 101Baltimore, MDwww.BradleyImages.com(see our ads, Back Cover & page 41)Invite Bradley Images - one ofBaltimore’s top studios, to your wedding,and let them capture the beauty andexcitement of your once-in-a-lifetimeexperiences, transforming the events ofyour day into timeless, brilliant, artwork.From rich photographic albums andprints, to engaging digital videokeepsakes, it is no wonder that BradleyImages has maintained their reputationas one of Maryland’s leading weddingphotographers.Debra Liberman PhotographyServing the MetroWashington-Baltimore area540-351-1756www.StoryTellerPhoto.com(see our display ad, page 39)Debra’s visual signature can be identifiedby strong, clear, colorful, and expressiveimages. Balancing traditional poses withmemorable candids, she achieves anatural blend of gestures and emotionswhich tell your story.Event Digital Photography6817 Carlynn CourtBethesda, MD301-229-3305www.eventdigital.com(see our display ad, page 40)Specialists in Interactive Photographysince 1990. Offering full event coverage,green screen studio, green screen photobooth, open air photo booth, socialphoto and more!Photo Fun PlusOwings Mills, MD443-465-5809www.PhotoFunPlus.com(see our display ad, page 36)Let us help make your Bar/Bat Mitzvah,Wedding or special event even morespecial with our novelty photos and veryaffordable videography.We specialize in“Growing Up”photo montages. Checkout our website to see video samples ofall we do.

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