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Mind Set 13

A collection of Thoughts

And Poems

By

Jason L West

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Dedicated to:

Janice, Nanny, Bri, and Tam

With mad love!

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Hello

The first word said and the last one known. Hello is anyone home? If so, come to the door. Hello, are

you in there? I can see the lights on. Come out and play. Hello, come back-I miss you-HELLO!!!

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Who

The Lord is my Sheppard, I shall not want. But I do, I want to know who the Sheppards tailor is, and who

makes his shoes? And who is the Sheppards can? Who am I, Who are you? Who are any of us? I ask you

this question; I dont think the Sheppard is in today.

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Why

What is our purpose on this Earth? My theory is; to live and experience what when has made for us to

enjoy the wonders of God, and to leave our mark in the universe. To say I was hereI may or may not

be right, but that is my statement for today.

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They Come

They come, wielding swords. They come, wielding axes. Many come wielding both. They come

to rescue their brethren. They fight hard, never forgetting their brethren. They come with fire in their

eyes and vengeance on their minds. They come with death in their hearts. But, they all die-one by one-

never forgetting their brethren. Forever in them, they die in remembrance of their lost brethren-as they

go.

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I am The L

Power is mine. I am The L; I am god to the godless, I am fear to the fearless. I am The L; I am hope to

the hopeless, I am life to the lifeless, I am death to the living. I am the heart to the heartless, mind to the

mindless, strength to the weak. I am food to the hungry. I am powerful and power is mine. I am The L,

now and forever more.

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Contemplation

Contemplation is thought. Contemplation is a manner of thinking, a style. The way a certain

mind works. The way the world revolves, on a system of minds. Contemplation is the key to evolution; A

way of viewing your life, a new perspective on everything. The way people base their subconscious

realities. We are gods contemplation. Sit-maybe you too can understand.

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Thought

I began in search of an answer; an answer to the question; why do I exist among fools? I wonder

why they dare to test my patience. The fools know nothing will break me. I only laugh at their foolish

ways and continue to think. But they cant stop trying to challenge my wisdom. I continue to laugh,

hysterically-forever and ever.

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Maybe

Service, service is without gratitude. To the one who lets his destiny rule him, the one who rules

his destiny, a thinker, a man of thought, He who controls his life, to he who can choose a path in life,

then turn around and erase it half way through. Lucky enough to have that power is the man with the

power. That is me-maybe.

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Heaven

Twain said it best; A man can only be happy in his own heaven but what and where is that

heaven. And what happens while Im there. Or is there such thing as reincarnation. Well yes Virginia

there is a Santa Clause Believe and you shall find what you seek. Some find what they seek in material

things, others find it in themselves. I have not found what I seek. Heck, I dont even know what Im

seeking. So I have thus forth devoted my life to the pursuit of happiness. Amen-Im alive. Now sit my

children, and contemplate the theory.

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The Lion and the Unicorn `91

The lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown, the lion and the unicorn beat each other

all over town. Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown. I pulled out a bazooka and blast

them out of town.

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Wisdom

My wisdom has swept the nation and crushed it!

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Life part 1

Life is a game of chess; we are all pawns, some become kings and queens, while others remain

knights and meaningless figure heads. God and Satan are the eternal players. I wonder who will win.

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Nowhere

Nowhere is a place beyond the mortal psyche, a dimension past that known to mortals. My

home is there, beyond imagination. In a place of chaotic nothing

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Everywhere

I saw this picture once. It was taken somewhere on the corner of nowhere right on the edge of

somewhere, Right in the middle of everywhere.

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Evil

The room was black when I came in. My entrance confuses the beast. Now it must choose me or

the priest, power or joy. I can smell its craving, its greed. The bile rises in my stomach. It fans on me a

draft of fear. I face it. All my anger shines. My fury feeds the thing. Its coming for me. And I welcome it

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Changes part 1

Mystic illusions are dissolved, when dirt is cleared from my eyes. The watching eyes in the

hearts of babes, Babes who will soon run the world as adults. Adults who will make decisions, decision

that make changes. Changes that will shape the world, the world that is mine now.

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The Reaper

The grim reaper came for me again today. And I have eluded him once more. My power has

surprised him. I laugh at his failed attempts. Yet I shiver at knowing he will find me. And I cry knowing

that I will kneel before him and beg for my life. But until that day arrives, I will laugh to hide my tears-

from the reaper.

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The Dreamer

The dreamer is a person who is free of cares and worries. A dreamer is a person who lives life to

the fullest. A mere shell of what I want to be. My dream is to be that dreamer. But since I dream does

that make me that dreamer. Oh how I wish it was so-they the world.

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Life part 2

Life is a game; you cant always win, and there are always going to be guys who try to stop you-

or die trying. You can either beat them, let them beat you or be one of them. I merely watch the players

as they lose.

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Nothing

I am nothing, the embodiment of art. I am what all artist wish to create. I am nothing-now and

forever.

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Apology 1

I am sorry for not writing in so long. I have been away from writing for so many reasons. Mainly I

have been away thinking. I have had several revelations. I would like to share them with you.

First Revelation: Everybody works on a cosmic plane. Special beings work on an astral plane.

Extra special beings work on both planes. Myself I work in the idle.

Second Revelation: The cosmic plane is this span of reality. It is what we see, what we hear,

what we can feel. The astral plane is beyond, that span of reality where our dreams and night

mares walk. A plane of our inner most thoughts and desires, there are many levels on each

plane, therefore each person operates differently.

Third Revelation: A mind is a gift from God. He has given us it to use the best we can. The wise

use it for betterment, they feed it knowledge, they glorify it, worship it, and most of all

acknowledge its existence. The fools play with it

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Lord of Forien

I entered the land and said unto the children of Forien; Be calm and know that I am The L, Lord of

Forien.

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Dark Horses

They are torn between good and evil. They ride to escape the inevitable. They ride together

facing odds of 1000 to 1. They are the Dark Horses.

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Sky Hawks

In a place where the sky is the limit, at a time when air pirates rule the sky ways; seven pilots

have dared to save the world. They dare to become Sky Hawks, and boy, do we needem.

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Another Thought

I have thought, and I have thought, but I am yet to think of what my purpose on Earth is. So I

have decided that I do not care. I am here and that is all that counts.

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Awakenings

I have awakened to the sound of thunder. I have awakened to find my world reshaped into a

nightmarish pit of torment and pain. A demon has played with my soul throughout the night. He

returned to my broken body, but placed it in upside down. Now my fractured life is upside down. I must

learn to appreciate looking at the bottom of things, since there is no changing my position. I have to

grow to love my awakening.

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I Evolve

I evolve-out of the smoke and destruction; I crawl out of the bowels of the Earth. I evolve-from

the worst of mans fears and doubts. I evolve-true to the symbol of darkness. You see, I evolve ever

soften, each time with a different (more powerful) face. I evolve-true to the symbol of death. I evolve-

with a heart encased in darkness. I have evolved.

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Here

I am here, but where is here. And why am I here to begin with. What am I here to do? Wait, let me tell

you. Here is my home. In here I live. I am here to live. I am here to enjoy the Earth God created for us all.

If you listen close I will tell you what I wish to say. Here is always where I am. In my heart, here is my

home-Forien; a mystical land of my dreams, And in the land of Forien-I-reign supreme.

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Home

As I walk home, through this land of destitution and sorrow, I envisioned a better place, a place

where reality is a dream and life is a fairy tale. I see huge gothic buildings there. Streets that are

darkened with light. An entire world created around thoughts. There I make my home. And I sit on the

steps of my wonderful new home, and look out into a place where things live and die with meaning, a

world beyond comprehension of mortal soul; My home.

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Blade Runner

Blade Runner, warrior of darkness, please, will you show me how to fight. Teach me to become

like you. Help me to become like you. Teach me how to live. Oh, Blade Runner, warrior of darkness,

keeps fast to my heart. Oh Blade Runner, warrior of darkness please saves me from myself. Protect me

with your crimson and black metal. Protect me with your twirling blades of hope. Keep my blood cold,

dear Blade Runner. Blade Runner runs on, run on through the brightest of hours; Ode to Blade Runner

Though art my salvation.

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Monkey See, Monkey Do

Monkey see, Monkee do; Monkey follows me and you

Monkey dance, Monkey play; Monkey always in the way

Monkey run, Monkey jump; Monkey always into stuff

Monkey curious, Monkey look; Monkey wanted so he took

Monkey see, Monkey Do; I saw him and took some too

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Life part 3

Life is like a roller coaster; it cost too much and doesnt last.

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Feuding Master

Cast away yon shadows,

Let us rejoice in the light.

Bathe in water of life.

Quickly, my Lord, the Beast cometh,

Are you ready me Lord?

Here be your swords

Fight with honor.

Oh, well ashes to ashes

dust to dust

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Jealousy

Jealousy is an ugly thing; it hides under our beds waiting for us to show our faces. Then it

prances about our minds laughing, taunting, and playing with our minds, making our inner child beg for

mercy while our bodys breaks into blinding rage.

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My Life

I sit alone in my four corner room, images in my head flash doom. Everywhere I look someones

there-I wish theyd get out of my hair. At night I toss and turn, thinking about all the bridges left to burn.

As I lie there on my back I know Ill never get jack. Ah, man, oh man, brother my life is messed up aint it?

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Mister, oh Mister

Mister, oh Mister-where have you been. What have you seen? Where are you coming from, and

what have you done? What are you doing, where are you going? Have you lived right? For you see I

have not. Please Save me Mister, I cannot save myself.

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The Beast Cometh

Ah, the fair maiden glides through the sky. With grace and dignity, she dances across a floor of

clouds. Each motion is magical. She blesses the heavens with her presence. She is having the time of her

life alone, but, the beast cometh. Theres a blast, and a fiery streak shoots through the air. She dances

unaware of danger which approaches, the beast cometh. Fiercer than before, he dances, grows stronger.

Her pace quickens, the music grows louder, the beast cometh. It grows larger and the colors become

more vibrant. Then the beast and maiden collide. An earth shattering explosion follows, the sky

illuminates with light, then streams of colors flow through the air. More colors than Ive ever seen. The

beast has come. And as I look up in awe of what Ive seen the clouds return and the sky darkens. I watch

as a something floats down slowly. Finally it reaches me, I grab it. Its a large tan sheet of paper. On it

reads; Be weary the beast cometh, though ye be beautiful, everything beautiful bleedsThen the paper

crumbles to dust. It blows gently in the wind and I walk away.

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My words

-My words may be backwards but their meanings come shining through.

-Everything beautiful bleeds

-May you shoes be warm and your journey be short.

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My Minions

As I sit on my thrown, I view a grave spectrum of minions. My minions, the mindless ones, they are so

quaintly dubbed. They sit waiting for me to speak. They do this not because of my earthly treasures but

because I am The Land they know I will treat them better. I treat them not as servants or my yes-men

but as my equals. For this they respect me, they worship me. I gave them a country and they have given

me the world. Fair exchange Id say

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My Abb

The Abb,

My Dome,

My Home,

My Abb

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The Abb

What lies beyond the Abb?

Is it the end of the world?

Is it another civilization?

Is it another realm?

Is it The L?

Is it even real?

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The L

There once lived a man called The L.He was the savior of my world. He was my God when I

was Godless, my help when I was helpless; the salvation, my only salvation.

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Sea of Minions

Struggling in a sea of minions, trying to reach the top, I reach it only to be swept back down,

pushed back to the uncaring bottom. As I struggle to the top once more I am stopped by overprotective

leeches. I soon regain my vision which angers the sea of minions. It lashes out at me with a 30 foot tidal

wave, Destroying my hopes and dreams. The mindless ones have beaten me this time.

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Miami, Ohio

Life in Miami, Ohio can get hectic at times but with a little love and understanding we make it.

But that happy ending crap doesnt always work. So you have to pull out the trusty M.16, and blow

some suckers away.

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Baltimore, Minnesota

The days in Baltimore, Minnesota left little to be desired. Then a toxic waste truck crashed in the

middle of town. Now everyday is a mutant jamboree in this once gray hole in society. May all gods

freaks rule this Earth?

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Minneapolis, Montana

Just east of north in a land of magic, there lays an island surrounded by mist. In the center, of

this mystical plane high above man floats a glowing sphere suspended in mid air. Spinning life into this

quiet hobble known as Minneapolis, Montana

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Profane Desire

Profane desire is like no other, it embarrasses you in its web of deceit. It gnaws at you like a

buzzard at a piece of meat. It treats you like you were lunch for starving tigers. You acquire a hatred for

it. Well it has its good points; it does show you things in ways youve never seen before.

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Gas Mask Theory:

Article 1

Living large on a gas mask theory,

Dancing off the edge

Living large on a gas mask theory,

Slip on floss you might lose your head

Living large on a gas mask theory,

Bullet wounds will f ax you dead.

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Gas Mask Theory:

Article 2

The murder of our people will end. The racism will shift to the opposite side. There a new law

will be made. Death will become mandatory for the vanilla. We all must band together with those who

too have been oppressed. We must let justice rule by the gun or rule justice with the gun. In

remembrance we will kill the vanilla. Tomorrow may already be too late. By any means necessary, we

must win. All law must be controlled by the minions.

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Bob

Bob is cool, he dances beside the moon. He shows the light of a thousand dreams. He plays

patty cake with his dog Geronimo. No one has actually seen Bob but we know hes out there.

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Bobs Song

This here man he played three,

He played by the moon with me,

With a zigzag, jump a flag a dog named Geronimo

That there man fell on a home

This here man he played E.T.

He played by the moon with me,

With a zigzag jump a flag a dog named Geronimo

That there man fell on my home!

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Apology II

I have returned. I apologize I drifted into a temporary state of materialism then back into my art

and now I return to my words.

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Life part 4

Life as a Vampire is rough; knowing that there is only one way to kill you makes you a little cocky.

You run around beating the crap out of mortals never caring. But when one blows you to bits it really

hurts.

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Immortality

People think being immortal is easy. But getting blown to smithereens is really painful. Although

you can reform it still hurts like hell in the morning.

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Changes part 1

The changing of the guards has become routine, each year a new face, a new personality a new

show. Out with the old, in with the new, there was never any questioning it, it just happened. Thats life,

eh.

January 4, 1993

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Culture

A psychiatrist might say my fixation with foreign cultures, derives from me not having a fixed

place in my own culture.

February 6, 1993

Normality

Normality is a stepping stone to geniuses.

February 11, 1993

The Future Today

TheE

arth is forever revolving, spinning at a rate beyond that of human comprehension. Culturalvalues change as quick as a third world government. We are constantly evolving, changing, and learning

a new. The way we see life is always different. Things that are here today may not have been here

yesterday. Things past peoples thought impossible were conserved and perfected before my rise. The

future of yesterday is today.

February 16, 1993

Math

Why do we have to learn this stuff? We are never going to use this. The way technology is going

we wont even have to use the keyboards. Computers will be doing the entire math for us by the time

we graduate, so it doesnt matter if we learn it now.March 19, 1993

Cheerleaders

Cheerleaders bite! Theyre so happy and cheerful. To them there is always a bright side. They

dont see the hell pit we live in. They waste their lives on futile dribble for their beloved school. The

insignificant specks dont even hit the windshield.

March 30, 1993

College Ball

Wisdom has been bestowed upon me by the ancients, the knowledge to distinguish what I

believe in what I like. And through my studies I have come to the conclusion that-college Ball Sucks!!!

April 6, 1993

The Beginning

On April 19th

1993 in a fiery blaze of inferno, our last Lord and Savior; David Koresh presumably

perished within the walls of the apocalypse ranch. Ending the 51 day standoff, that began Sunday

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February 28, in the unheard of town of Waco. Today we mourn the loss of Koresh and his some eighty

followers. Today the Apocalypse begins.

April 19, 1993

The Future

As my mind begins to wander, I think back on the times I have had throughout my brief life. I

reminisce on the loves I have had and wish the days were here once more. But, I cannot turn back the

hands of time, so I carry onward; toward the future.

April 19, 1993

State of Mind

Disillusioned madmen play center court as they ponder the existence of man in this physical

state. As where I have conquered this state all thought of it is beneath me. I look onward and upward, to

aspire the oneness of meta-physicality.

April 24, 1993

Direction

The radio beams in on a Jupiter buzz clip TV fasten its vice like grip, and the couch takes you on a

potato trip. North by Northwest plane sends me to the third noon. As 360 Degrees spirals a man into

limbo, sending me into this nightmarish hell, Divided by a sphere on a pyramid corner. Ultimatum is my

primary function for thought. Jah will fix you up a spell so fierce youd swear my directions were clear.

April 26, 1993

New York

A Nubian god plays tune to a trumped up jazz beat the father is elated by the reality he faces. A

cry from the alley reeks of the missing. Roll it up and smoke your troubles away. My god, do you hear

the brothers cries. This is what the urban delicacy has come to. Ah, New York.

April 28, 1993

My TV blew up!

How will I live, how will I make my way through the world without my glowing box of joy,

Mesmerizing over the moving pictures from around the globe. By the gods what will become of me.

Where will my entertainment come from? AgghGodhelp meMy TV blew up!

May 26, 1993

Freedom

Freedom of the mind is true freedom

May 30, 1993

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To Live in L.A.

What is it to live in L.A.? The palms sway, the rhinos play. What is it to live in L.A.? Everything must go

they say. But, what will occur at the end of the day? What is it to live in L.A.? Planet rock, the bean boys

been shot. Hollywood begins to burn. The palms sway, the rhinos play. But what is it to live in L.A.?

June 8, 1993

Quiet Contemplations

Darwin never knew me for what it is worth. These are the quiet contemplations of a madman

adrift in a fantasy, immersed in gods lonely darkness, searching so hard for a love thats true. I finally

find her by the old highway. Lord Im still searching. Oh, Christmas tree, Christmas tree, I pledge my

allegiance to thee. My quiet contemplations lie beneath you tree.

June 23, 1993

Roxanne

All I think about is you, your eyes, and your hairyour lips. So wet, so moist, so open. From the

moment I saw you I knew you were right for me. Can you comprehend my feelings for you? And you-you

dont even care about me-you wont even talk to me on the telephone. I know we have our differences,

but with all the shit going on in my life, baby, I need someone to hold me together, I need you.

August 13, 1993

Raw

It was cold at first. They say thats how it is in the beginning, only the cold and the dark, Always

the dark. It is where light originated, The Alpha and Omega or something like that. It was in that vast

darkness I evolved, a massive, hulking, living, thinking being; a man. I was a man from day one, never a

boy. My name is Krulos, some call me chaos, some call me hero, those who will experience me will call

me RAW!!!

August 17, 1993

Life, Death, and Me

The face of beauty lies in the African plains. The face of Death lies in the European heart, while

life stands calm in the Middle of the East. And I sit dormant in the Americas, smoking blunts and sipping

cappuccino. Ah, to live in an age of war. Everything is so black and white. There is just life, death, and me.

August 28, 1993

Goose Step

Large uniformed oafs marched down cobblestone streets of a forgotten Spanish Villa. It was late

that August afternoon and the wind whipped harshly through our village. I and my sister watched them

silently through her bed room window. The sound of their steel toe boots marching through our town,

still rings in my ears today.

September 3, 1993

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Revolution

The revolution has come-my children-run rampant through the streets praising the name of

Anarchy. Is this life so dear or peace so sweet, that its worth the chains of slavery? I will be damned by

the almighty God; I know not the course of other men-but-as for myself, give me liberty or give me

anarchy!

September 3, 1993

Eye Be It

Get this straight in your head-Eye dont approve. Do you know who Eye is? Eye be the coolest

coolie on the block. Eye is a master of human speech. Eyes have a new dialect every father-loving day.

You cannot comprehend, the Dark Zulu lies that Eye preach. Come down from Da Mountains. Eye be

from Jamaica-Pop, Pop, Pop, Boo-ya-Cow, Boo-ya-Ca! A new God is born-and Eye be it!

September 15, 1993

Creation ofEye

Eye was walking through the park one day on the merry-Mary-month of May. Eye was stricken

be surprise, by a pair of pretty Is in the merry-Mary-month of May. Oh, what big Is you have. Cheese

and Crackers! All forlorn, my dear Lenore, never more, never more, my sweet Lenore, and its still in the

merry-Mary-month of May, O.K.

September 15, 1993

The Color Spectrum

Take me to the place I know, take me all the way. Take me to the place all the way down. Oh, I

am still alive. Whats this Purple Haze in my tea? Damn, scorpions all over meDo-di-do, do-di-da! A

white room with black curtains, Ive been through the desert on whore with no name. By God, Izod, has

claims to fame. My whore still has no name. I have lost thirty-two point three and gained twenty-one

point two. The alphabet leads toward the moon, the potato trip the couch took me on is now over. If

music makes the world go round then without the black without the brown, you would be without soul

unable to get down.

September 20, 1993

Gaping Dogs

The grim stone faces of evil pale dogs. They stand gaping dead to the world. Out to bring the

world down with them. The vanilla devils destroy all in their path. They rip the life from the land and kill

the males, while raping the women. They enslave the children, and oppress their breeding. The gaping

dogs even slay their own over petty alliances and Earth. The pale dogs are a godless breed without

honor, or color, the gaping dogs ofHEL.

September 20, 1993

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Picture Page

Picture page, picture page, its time to do the picture page, so run and get your paper and your

pencil-gotem-now draw me a stick man. Draw him full of life and joy. Make him a happy man in tune to

his world and environment. A man so here, he is there. Comprendo Alberto mayor, perro del EL del

tonto del es del tu, demanda el animal del feo de s. My arms raised in a V. come forth with love for my

stick man. He is my happy God. With a lower case GBut then, he hit me with a surprise right. No we

must battle. Picture page, picture page, its time to do the picture page, so run and get your guns and

your knives.

September 23, 1993

Yellow Dog

Yellow dog, oh yellow Dog, and help me decide who my god is. Point me in the direction of my

true God. There to the south is the dark lord. Chaos-bringer, killer of dreams, he promises me eternal

power and a warm resting place. There to the north is the lord of light. Peace-maker, giver of life, he

promises peace and a chance to see my mother again. Which is better Yellow Dog, physical happiness

and meta-physical damnation, or meta-physical happiness with physical hardships and tribulation?

Please guide me Yellow Dog, I am lost and cant find my God.

September 23, 1993

The Philadelphia Experience

One, tow, buckle my shoe, Uncle Sam, here is something for you. I know what youve done; I

know who youve shot. I know just what you got. You killed Kennedy, you killed King, and you probably

shot Lennon for doing his thing. Cover-up, cover-up, I smell conspiracy, fat bureaucrats altering history.

But, I stand my ground, I blast my sound. It is Porgy and Bess, at their best, vocab from an Arab, an ASalam a Lakium, to you B. If I had an army Id kill Uncle Sam and Uncle Tom too. Slice up his apple pie

and brew up a melting pot stew. The murdering dog is not my uncle. Die Sam youre no uncle of mine! I

think its time I broke your spine.

September 24, 1993

Mustard

Ohh, the yellow ooze all over my hot dog!Eat it up, eat it all up, its the glam. Ohhh, the yellow

ooze, it enters me. The gods have blessed me. Im up each morning at three a.m. and march until twelve

p.m. I mustard all my strength, who wants to live forever in a world like this, with no reason, no rhyme,

no time. Let the mustard slip in.

September 24, 1993

Shades of Gray

Flowing, rhythmic patterns, connecting, are intertwining. Three entangled lovers of art and

sound, Two women one man; Ecstasy, Passion, and John. They are Humans, Gods, Sex, the Dark, Darker,

Darkest, and the Shades of Gray. Three unique beings, which are identical, three beings, made one by

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love. A heaven sent triangle. This is how I was born, the dark, darker, and the darkest of sins, The

Shades of Gray.

September 26, 1993

Hero

A new God has risen, A dark dealer of light. A Hero, exquisite in form, chiseled from perfection, a

hero that is so high and mighty, holier than thou, and far above the peasants who worship him. A hero

he may not be God, but hes the closest thing on Earth.

September 30, 1993

Control DNA

The pleasure god knows my name; I am engulfed in her bosom. The warmth of her exotic love is

so new to me. I can no longer contain myself. I elope with reality to my dreams. Ungh, new house

Control DNAThe flip side of my jeans is purple and green. I flow real vicious and always watch my back.

A gray blow out for nitro, hook me up and were on a roll. Busting unite, all for the Union tonight. Oh,

new house, Control DNAEwe-wee, snuffalupagus, mista kiss up, at the bus stop. I fried yo tomatos, but

they werent green. If it was chicken I would lick my plate clean. Mass confusion, the glam of the world,

Mista Phoo Bear, let it unfurl. Hero Palace, Comics Calvary, a brown God for all to see, open your eyes

and except me!Ho, new house, Control DNAHes a lean mean fighting machine, more confused than

ever, is this a dream am I the dreamer? If not who is the dreamer? Do you want to dream? I am the

dreamer, you are the dream. Am I you, is madness God. Good God, I got a new house and Control DNA

October 1, 1993

Down-Stroke

There was a little boy from across London Bridge; he was a roughneck with a big ass head. He

called upon his father for all he knows, but if it wasnt for his mother he would not have grown. Simplify

it on the down stroke. A little boys life on a forty-five, oh, Im so alive, a funky drummer beat to break

the stride. High-pro is hype yo, on the down-stroke!

October 4, 1993

Flavor

I pride myself on my wide array of colored pens. But, when I have no pens: will my flavor leave

also. Nay, flavor enables me to seize power from the boys in the band. I am flavor; conquer of men, and

lover of women. My flavor will not leave, my band will prove flavorful. Turning flavor over to central

intelligence agency will leave me flavorless.

October 4, 1993

Wanna Be

A wanna be gangsta, used to be a pranksta, thinking hes a wise guy hes a sockem in the eye

guy. Bologna was not meant to go with cheese, but pastries do as they please. Apple dumplings are right

for me, what happened to Dookie Munsters of Amerikee!Listen up punk put the funk in ya trunk and let

the base just jump. Must it, bust it, I just dont trust it. Riboflavin keeps me slaving, longing for a night

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that will not come, so I sit back and sip some rum. A wanna be pranksta, used to be gangsta. You never

know whose soulll get hooked on fools gold.

October 6, 1993

Mulberry Lane

There was a man or Mulberry Lane, crack my egg and went insane. I do so love his giant brain.

Quick with the wit, G. Washington District of Columbia-get some. Up and down all around, New York is

my kind of town. In loco parentis of my state, Alli-fabulous Alli, Allah-Babua.

October 12, 1993

Sojourn

I am going through some changes; serious changes. The loss of my mother has triggered new

emotions. I am not as I was before. Too many new toys for me to play with at once, so, I must now look

for the stone. I have explored all I can on the outside (it was only so much I could find in the country).

Now I must look for the inner sound yall. The Sojourn of Truth has begun.

October 15, 1993

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True Light

Men of honor, warriors of the deep, contemplations of Gods heroes; their flag raised high in the

righteous night. The black brought through sacrifice. Are these words or the key to eternal light? Can

you or I ever hope to decipher these cryptic codes of life? Genetics are merely the first step. Psychology

is merely the second step. The third is unseen. This where we come in; Geniuses, warriors, both on a

eternal quest for THE TRUELIGHT.

Jan. 1, 1994

Study and Review

I have been a god for some time now, yet no one knew it. As a young man I fought the dark

creatures of the inner self. I tried to conquer the evil with knowledge not brute force only to be shut

down by militant Gods of War. They initiated my soul and drug my shell to the river to be swept north to

the ice night. A rotten fruit on the tree of life, infested by towers of steel, There is where I will rot. Alone

empty in a loft surrounded by forget me nots that I have forgotten. Engulfed in my work and lost in my

loneliness.

Jan. 1, 1994

Under Toe

Under the new reign my God has called me. I have befriended a figment of my imagination a

tortured God, only a fledgling God!

Jan. 6, 1994

Salvation

This is my future. My only hope of salvation is my inner soul. One will not find love outside, until

he finds love inside.Jan. 11, 1994

Notes

I jot down these little notes, fragments of my consciousness, tiny elements of my inner soul. But,

it is through my art I can truly express my turmoil. My paintings are jagged and uneasy, sporadic color

blotches, spaced out with no boundaries.

Jan. 14, 1994

Misery

I boast of my talent but I am worthless. I have no artistic ability. I am but one mangy soul, in a

sea of gifted spirits. I look out and see many of importance many of beauty. But I am not one I see.

Jan. 14, 1994

Palm Trees

Palm trees sway while the B-boys play, by the sea. Under the palm trees all that is quite and gray

are elevated to the third plane. There they break the fourth wall and step forth unto your home. Can

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you see them in your mind? Eating away at your inner soul, taking from you all hope of creativity. But

they shall not have me.

Jan. 16, 1994

Bestiality

I lay down beside my God a woman of beauty, a goddess of delightful oral ecstasy. My Sheba,

my joy, my love, my God, She is the light of my life for her I would die for. For her I will liveShe is my

God.

Jan 17, 1994

The Way

This is the way it is going. This is the way I am I am going, a reflection of inner self, a unique

expression of ones soul asylum. Do you understand the vibe in which even I do not understand?

Therefore you must dive into your own soul before beginning to understand mine. It cannot be where

youre at, it must be where youre from, and this is where its all at. You must do what you feel, when

what you feel is real. This is the way it is.

Jan. 17, 1994

Mi Mind

This iz what mi mind iz like sporadic, unruli, incoherent. i am so confused, scared of what else

there iz 4 mi. Nanny wont alwayz bi there either. This iz how mi hed goes ci senior i need myself, i need

asylum of mi soul. what would i do without mi mind to come homecome home tohome totooo

Jan. 20, 1994

The Winter of My Despondence

This is the winter of my despondence, the season of my troubled times, the end of my life. For

my God I sacrificed the lover, I open my arms an expose my sex to my new lord. I share my body with

the cold, keeping my feet on the ground. If only I had a hope for God to save my soul, I have been a bad

boy I need a spanking. I need a licking to get me ticking. Oh, shake your ass mutha-fuca. I want to see

you dance. Yes sex is all that. I need it from you, baby I need your love, cum to me my sweet bte, cum

with me. This is the winter of my despondence.

Jan. 20, 1994

The Mourning After

The next mourning, I arise to find my body broken and distorted. My hands are soiled with the

terra-firma of my enemies resting place. Oh ye noble native, taught me to be one with the earth. Oh, ye

noble Asian, taught me to be one with the universe. Oh, ye noble Arab, taught me to be one with God.

Oh, ye noble African, taught me to be one with the animals. Oh, ye noble Indian, taught me to be one

with myself. I must learn all I can in this new light. It is the mourning after.

Jan. 21, 1994

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Dweeb

I know of the Dweeb

Eyes of steel

Ears pierced a thousand times

Grin of a million clowns

An acrobat

A lover

A dweeb

Jan. 23, 1994

Exploration

Exploration is quick and swift in uncharted areas. One must be on guard when exploring regions

youve never seen before. With open mind I welcome newly explored territories.

Jan. 26, 1994

The New End

I am faced with perplexing realities and disfigured dreams. My mind is hooked on trivial

infatuations and minor details, while my body and soul lie dormant in a new time and space. Mishapen

children follow me to a new cataclysmic frontier.

Jan. 26, 1994

!tatWell, I guess I got my wish; Im on another world.

Jan. 28, 1994

My Love

My love is like a pond; it just sits there and gathers rain.

Jan. 31, 1994

Original

An original with my own style, off the wall if you didnt come to party then dont come at all. Im

a mad cap and here to have fun. And if you dont like it-get some.

Feb. 2, 1994

Ultra-Violent Rainbows

I am writing this because I am going mad. I must document my thoughts before they escaped

me. My mind is moving at 204 mph. I cannot grab hold to my thoughts. All around my mind is colors,

gorgeous, ultra-violent rainbows, pulsating and flexing through my brain, confusing it, teasing it, playing

with it. It is becoming increasingly hard for me to write my dreams are intermeshing with my memories

falsifying everything. Oh, god help me, I wanna love somebody.

Feb. 14, 1994

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A Conversation

While I was busy cleaning out my soul, my physical self was destroyed by fools and coffers. The

man with the popular vote lost the electoral race. This has set me on a new path. And I still do not know

where this road leads. Will you help me, will God help me. Can I lose myself in music and art? Can I leave

this suffering behind and take flight to another world. Oh woe is me as I sit here under this tree, being

chewed out by me. A conversation with my inner soul that has left me worse than before, Oh, you are

screwed baby.

Feb. 15, 1994

Sex?

What is sex? What is it really? Is it the act of two bodies rubbing together or is it the act of penis

and vagina interlocking? Is it the love shared between two people, is it passion amplified. Is it an

exploration of trust? Or is Fantasy #30067?

Feb. 21, 1994

Sexy?

What is sexy? Is an eye or color or hair sexy? Is the smoothness of skin sexy? Is a man sexy? Is a

woman sexy? Is a full figure sexy, are lace panties sexy? Is art sexy? Am I sexy? Is a tongue sexy? Are

words sexy? Is this sexy?

Feb. 21, 1994

Cousin

What is this, why am I still alive. I have lied so much killed even more. Now I will not die. Ah,

what is this? I just thought it would be cool. Not all of this. Im so hungry, the only way I can satisfy this

craving to kill. I dont want to kill. I dont want to drink blood. I dont want to. Oh, God save me. Is it too

late? Is there nothing I can do? Oh, help me-Cousin!

Feb. 24, 1994

Signs

This is what Ive been dreading. I had seen the signs. I knew it was coming, I knew it was coming.

Now I am alone. Now I am truly alone. My life is now completely gone. Where do I go from here? I must

never forget what has happened. I must never forget what I have done.

Feb 25, 1994

Arbitrary

All the time is happening, Future, past, present are all arbitrary.

Feb 25, 1994

Alive

I feel most alive when confronting Death.

Feb. 25, 1994

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For Me

You will come for me,

Because I come for you

You will worship me, because,

I will worship you

You will love me,

Because I will love you

I believe I fell from the skies,

I believe I dont see through my eyes

I am the L,

I am Lord Supreme

You are my love,

You are a dream

Together we can conquer all,

Apart we will fall

I have lived my life,

Without knowing love

How do you,

Expect me to believe in God above

All I know is hate,

All I know is death

Without an end,

What is left?

Feb. 26, 1994

Im Coming

Im coming, coming for you.

I was lost, I was so confused, and Im straining my brain just to think the way you want me to.

Come on girl let me show you the world; you can have it for a little while. Just smile!

Im coming, coming for you.

Feb. 26, 1994

Transitory

The pencilthe pencil is arbitrary, man. The pencil is like a tricycle. The brush is like a bike, man.

And, and, music, music is a motorcycle, and fame, fame, man is like death. Because when youre famous

youre dead. When youre a legend youre reborn. And when you become a religion-youre immortal. Its

all transitory.

Feb. 27, 1994

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And

Incents, peppermints, candles and love

Feb. 27, 1994

Hanging

Hang my mother,

Hang my father,

Hang my dog,

Hanging in the hall

Hang my teacher

Hang my preacher

Hang my girl

Hang the whole fucking world!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

This is how they hung me, down from the mass, all because I couldnt pass, gym class. I pray to myself, I

pray not for power yet for my health. I have seen my future. The future past, and in the future you will

all KISS MY ASS!

Feb. 28, 1994

T.I.M.E

All time is happening. Past, present, and future, are all happening. No matter when you ask me, I

will always say its now. Right now is the future of ten minutes ago. Right now is the past of ten minutes

from now. Right now is the present of right now. All time is happening.

Feb. 28, 1994

Her

Why am I so afraid of her? What is it about this woman? Is it her beauty, her intellect, her voice?

I know I will never have her, so why am I so afraid. Do I love her? Or is it that I fear that she is not as

great as I think she is? I really love her hair.

Mar. 1, 1994

Shes

Shes so moist and Im so wet. Shes like an electric fence. I want to touch her just to see what

she feels like. But Im afraid shell hurt me.

Mar. 1, 1994

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Sweet Child

Sweet child omine,

Sweet piece of mind

How I love thee,

Your eyes, your hair, your dress

How you tempt me,

With your sultry voice

Oh, how I wish I could just

Talk to you,

How I wish

I could just spend a little time with you,

So you can get to know me

Sweet child omine,

Sweet piece of mind

Mar. 2, 1994

Pegasus

Owinged beast of fantasy, deliver me from this drudgery. Take me from this woeful pit so upon

the sun I may sit. Breathing life everlasting until to the earth I come crashing.

Mar. 2, 1994

Jewel

The only jewel I wish to own cannot be worn or used as mere decoration. The only jewel I wish

to own cannot be touched by you or I. We may only glance out the corner of our eye. This jewel cannot

be paid for in silver or gold; only in love will you receive it. This jewel must be cherished and worshipped,

and nothing must ever hurt her, the only jewel that I wish to have is-love.

Mar. 2, 1994

So Bad

I want her so bad, I need her so bad, and I cant have her-so bad. That night I had an idea, I

would have to kill her.

Mar. 5, 1994

The Conversation

Mind if I sit down

Noshe extends her arm, motioning for me to sit.

I sit down and twiddle my thumbs. Im not sure what to say. Im so nervous. Ive never thought

this day would come. I actually was talking to her.

Um, you know about those-a-pictures I draw of you

Yes!

Id-uh-Id like to apologize, if they offend you or make you feel uncomfortable. If you want me to stop

just say so, and I will.

I usually wake up then and take a wiz, and write some more, Im always writing.

Mar. 5, 1994

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Daddys Little Girl

Daddys little girl, sweet as a thunderstorm, Pampered Princess, Cupie doll, daddys little girl. Ah,

how I love thee so. Oh, how he loves you more. I could never take you from him, but I could never give

you up to him. I really hate to make you choose, but our love is on the line. You must make up your

mind. I love you, but I dont like wasting my time. Daddys little girl, Cupie doll, Pampered Princess,

sweet as a thunderstorm, daddys little girl.

Mar. 7, 1994

Little Pig, Little Pig

Little Pig, Little Pig let me in. I do so dig your crazy ways. Youre the hippest pig on the block,

with the hairs dangling from your chinny-chin-chin. Hip me, man-to your crazy ways-so I may play. Little

Pig, Little Pig, let me in. I really wish to cool with you and learn to do the things you do. Your wicked

sovereignty is a mystery to me. I do so dig your crazy castle. Made of straw and sticks and even bricks

and when I blew them down. You let me in your house. Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in. I only wish to be

your friend.

Mar. 7, 1994

King of Clowns

Dweeb

King of the Clowns

Fantastic, Agile, Wild, and Lovely

Lover of laughter, joy, adventure and Trippetta

Who believed in his fellow man, in himself, and in love?

Who used his body, mind, and soul?

Who gave his all, his love, and his life

Who said a man has not lived until he has loved.

Dweeb the King of clowns

Mar. 10, 1994

We are

We are the children of the dark light. We have been here forever, and we will be here forever

more. We have come out of the night to seize the day. Watch your back our pack is stray.

Mar. 19, 1994

Beauty

Theres something Ive wanted to tell you for some time. Im not sure how to say this, but youre

always on my mind. Every time I close my eyes. Youre the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen. You

rule my dreams. I wanted to tell you, but I needed to find my courage. It took me awhile but I finally

caught him.

Mar. 19, 1994

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I am One

I am one with the universe.

I was there when the first flower bloomed.

I will be there when the last bomb drops. I am here when the Chaos starts, I will be here forever, and

ever. For now and all eternity, I will be here, connected with all and all connected with me. I am one

with the universe.

How can you say that?You ask me.

Because I can stand arms outstretched and plant my feet on the ground and feel the Earth, the same

Earth that was here in the beginning. I can lift my head back and smell the same air that will be here

forever. I can open my eyes and see the destruction that will one day destroy the world and everyone

on it. I can open my ears and hear the Chaos that is the coming apocalypse. And I can hear it coming

closer. That is how I am one with the universe. Not physically of course, but mentally. Do you dig it

Daddy-O, I am here, there and everywhere. I am all and all is me. I have transcended time with the

power of my mind. I am one with the universe.

Apr. 12, 1994

I believe in ME

When I say that I believe in myself, Im not saying that I dont believe in God or Jesus; I am

saying that maybe what Jesus meant, when he said that he was Gods son, meant that because he was a

creature of the Earth (and God created the Earth) then we all are children of God. Im saying that when

he said he would rise from the dead, he meant his spirit would rise, and that maybe all those miracles

were exaggerated by the disciples to make Jesus look good.

When I say I believe in the theory of evolution, and I believe in God, I mean I believe God started

evolution and just time take its course. You know this is a big universe. God had a lot to do; we are not

the only beings that exist. He doesnt have eternity to spend just on us. We are not that special (thats

why people doubt evolution, they think it makes them no better than apes) I mean that bit about God

creating us in his own image, get real. For one thing, people are too diverse to be modeled after any one

thing. Thats just something to satisfy our own bloated egos.

Another thing is; what about the billions of no-Christian-humanoid or otherwise-are all of them

going to Hell too. Thats bullshit, God did not create us to believe in him or devote our time to him. He

created us to enjoy this world he created, and to tell you the truth, I dont think that religion-any

religion-will allow you to truly enjoy the pleasures of this world. Any kind of joy or bliss is considered a

sin. It seems odd to me, how one group of people can believe that they are the only ones special enough

to rest in peace. Just because of what was written in one book, by other men. I do not wish to follow any

God who is like that. The god I wish to believe in is good and kind, and creates butterflies and flowers.

My God does not punish his children for having their own opinion. My God will not send me to Hell.

What is Hell anyway? My guess is its something man created to scare other men into

doing what they believe is right. But what is right? When animals kill out of spite or to show dominance,

does that make them evil? Will they go to hell? I dont think so. Right and wrong are words made up by

man. Right and wrong are things man uses to justify punishment. Who are we to judge other men? We

have no idea what God wants or intended. We just believe we do. Who knows I could be completely

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wrong too and burn in Hell for what Im writing. Or we could both be wrong, and then again I could be

right on the money. Never-the-less, I believe in me.

Apr. 17, 1994

Religion

One of my many views of religion is that religion is the way man tries to explain his part in the

universe. It makes you feel good to know that there is a higher power out there looking out for you. Not

that thats a bad thing, but its not such a smart thing either. But, people seem to need it, and in many

cases its helped a lot of people who otherwise would have nothing to help them, but its really not for

me.

Apr. 17, 1994

Everybody else is doing it

There is still so much in this world that I do not understand. So much in that is beyond me. S I

make guesses and assumptions as to what makes things turn out the way they are, and I figure if this

how I am. I guess, thats how we all are, and I assume we always were like this. I guess, thats how all

these religions started.

Apr. 17, 1994

I Feel Honored, Though

Mystic illusions dissolve into nightmarish dreams, misshapen fantasies, and images of madmen,

lost in their own minds. I follow them where ever they may lead. Fountains of false Gods overflow,

water surrounds my feet. Decades of decadence leave me dissident. I weep for my lost fathers, but I feel

honored though.

Apr. 21, 1994

Unprepared

There is so much I want to say to you I want to tell you anything to make you fall in love with me.

I want to seduce you, sweep you off your feet. I want you to feel for me, what I feel for you. But, that

wont happen; Im just wasting your time. I am a fool and you deserve better. I cant offer you anything-

but love. And even Im not sure what love is anymore. I only hope we will meet again, somewhere, when

I am more mature and can deal with someone as complex as you. I am not prepared for these feelings. I

hate being unprepared.

Apr. 21, 1994

The End

I never really paid attention to what I was taught, but I know this is the end. I dont quite know

how it happened, but here we are. Theres no turning back, Im headed down an endless spiral, a

downward spiral. Please, somebody-help me stop.

Apr. 22, 1994

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