mod 4 - conflict management

8/4/2019 Mod 4 - Conflict Management

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Conflict Management

Dealing with Difficult People/Issues


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Conflict is inherent in our environment.

Conflict is inevitable. The issue is how toeffectively manage it.

It is estimated that over 65% of performanceproblems result NOT from employeedeficiencies in job knowledge and skills, butrather from relationship problems betweencompetent, skilled employees.

A classic management study determined that25% of the typical managers time is spent

responding to conflict.

That figure rises to 30% for front linesupervisors.

Why?


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Todays Objectives

Identify sources of conflict.

Introduce participants to the levels ofconflict.

Identify styles of conflict

Complete a self-assessment to determineyour natural style for dealing with conflict.

Practice the C.L.A.S.S. model of conflict.


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Definition of Conflict

Conflict is defined as the process which beginswhen we perceive that someone has negativelyaffected, or is about to negatively affect,

something we care about. The more deeply wecare about something, the more intense theconflict.


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How I Deal With Conflict

When someone disagrees with me about something important orchallenges me in front of others, I usually . . . ________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I get angry, I . . . ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The most important outcome of conflict is . . . _____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

I feel most vulnerable during a conflict when . . . ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When things are not going well I tend to . . . ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My greatest weakness in handling conflict is . . . ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


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Sources of Conflict

Structures/systems that are in place wherethere is the opportunity for differences.

Procedures, policies, available resources,

organizational structure (environmentalissues).

EnvironmentalIssues

InterpersonalIssues

Combined

Interpersonal issues include personalities,styles, ego needs, work habits, and values.


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Levels Of Conflict

NormalIrritations

Pushingthe

EmotionalEnvelope

Moving

Outside theAcceptable

Normal thingsof life/personal

differenceswhich do not

alienate.

Individuals movefrom the rationalto the emotional.Communication

is strained, thereis anger and

tension.

Verbal hostility,potential for

physical threats.


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Three Levels of Conflict

A Normal Irritation

A normal irritation comes from the flow of life and ourinteractions with others. These are personal differences butthey are not of the intensity that alienate people from oneanother. If there is any anger, it passes quickly. People move

on and normal working relationships are re-established.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Pushing the Emotional Envelope

Up to this point differences have been handled logically, withsome emotion. Now, communication is strained. The level of

patience and trust people have with one another is beingdisplaced with anger and tension. Logic has given way toemotions. Personal agendas are taking precedence over thecollective good.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Moving Outside the AcceptableAt this point, there is verbal hostility and serious potential forphysical conflict. The parties involved have becomeadversaries. Things that are said and done create a negativeemotional history that defines future contact.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


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Learning From Others

Good Experience:

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

Bad Experience:_____________________________________

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

_____________________________________


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Developed vs. Underdeveloped

Developed

Uses a variety of conflict management styles.

Effective listening skills support objectivity and

clarity. Has intuitive awareness of potential problems.

Can recognize physical and emotional states thatamplify conflicts.

Can create a process that avoids conflictualdamage.

Underdeveloped

Feels powerless to move a difficult situation in apositive direction.

Sees feedback as a personal affront.

Carries emotional baggage from one situation to

another. Feels a need to fix things for others.

Is surprised by different agendas, hostilepersonalities.

Ego requires being right.


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Skills Necessary To Handle Conflict

Empathy for the positions of others.

The ability to reflect and learn frompersonal experience.

The ability to ask open ended questions tobuild understanding.

The ability to separate the subject from theemotions.

The ability to frame the conflict so thatparticipants are not getting stuck on rigidagendas.


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Conflict Management

Self-Assessment

Thomas-Kilman ConflictMode Instrument.

Self-assessment to determine your natural

conflict management style.


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Video: Conflict Management

ConflictManagement


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Five Management Styles Avoiding ignores or withdraws from the

conflict.

Accommodating agrees to play down thesituation. Relationship is important, the issueis not.

Compromising looks for solutions in whichboth parties get something. Relationship isvery important. Meeting halfway.

Competing aggressive, vigorously defendsposition. Little concern for people orrelationship.

Collaborating assertive and cooperative.Considers the problem to be mutual. Favorsworking together.


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What Does Good Look Like?

Style

Competing

Collaborating

Compromising

Avoiding

Accommodating

What Am I Doing/

What Am I Thinking?


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What Does Bad Look Like?

Style

Competing

Collaborating

Compromising

Avoiding

Accommodating

What Am I Doing/

What Am I Thinking?


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The Importance

of Establishing Boundaries

Boundaries clarify expectations:

Understanding our roles &responsibilities

How we are together

What can and cannot be said

Boundaries establish patterns of behaviorthat define quality of communication.

Healthy boundaries are flexible anddynamic they allow people to change.

Boundaries present a barometer forpersonal agendas.


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Boundaries

Rigid boundaries put people into a box that

works against individual/development change.

Flexible boundaries recognize the need forstructure but also recognize the need to acceptchange.

Rigid Flexible


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The Dramatic Pause

You have the Freedom

and Abilityto

Pauseand Choose

TIME

Stimulus Response


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History of Conflict

Person

Person:

Person:

Person:

Common Themes:

Situation

Situation:

Situation:

Situation:


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C.L.A.S.S. Model

Model of How To manage difficult

people/issues.

C alm down

L ower your voice

A sk questions

S eek understanding

S et the stage (follow up)


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C.L.A.S.S.C alm down Time to choose a correct response.

Send a different brain message.

Settle down, not fire up.

L ower your voice De-escalates situation.

Send a different message to the brain.

A sk questions Find out additional information.

Active listening, dont interrupt, make good eyecontact, use positive body language.

Listen for answers.

S eek understanding Walk a mile in their shoes. What is their

viewpoint? Why do they feel that way? Where isthe common ground?

Set the stage (follow up) Avoid the fire ring effect.

Forgive people.

Take responsibility for your role in the conflict.


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Problems That Arise In Groups

Using your experiences from real life,

please provide, in each case, solutions to the

situations indicated on pages 24, 25 and 26by answering the three listed questions.


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Worksheet:

Handling Potential Problems

Situation #1:

One or two people have not spoken orcontributed during the past two meetings.

What is the problem?

What can be done?

What not to do?


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Worksheet:


Situation #2:

Participant is dominating, doing all the talking,answering the leader all the time andmonopolizing the groups time.


What can be done?

What not to do?


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Worksheet:


Situation #3:

Two or three people who sit together are

talking softly among themselves and not payingattention to the leader. This has been going onfor half a minute. The leader is becomingannoyed.


What can be done?

What not to do?


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Handling Difficult Situations

Situation #1:

People are not contributing.

What can be done:

Instead of team discussions, break intosmaller groups (2 or 3) and have a memberof the group give feedback to the team.

Use the nominal group technique for

generating information. Use affinity diagrams to get everyone

involved.

Focus the team discussion on assignmentsthat are done between meetings.

What not to do: Do not embarrass anyone.

Do not assume people are not interested.


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Situation #2:

Participant is dominating.

What can be done:

After the domineering team member speaks,get other reactions.

Use smaller groups for discussion.

Avoid eye contact with domineeringmember.

Suggest to the person (in private) that theyhelp involve others.

What not to do: Dont confront or take on the domineering

member.


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Situation #3:

Participants are angry/negative.

What can be done:

Ask others if they agree with the negativemembers; discover how extensive thesebeliefs are.

Involve this person as a recorder.

Discuss in private the persons concern.

What not to do:

Do not take the person on.

Do not get caught up in emotion.


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How to Deal With Angry Employees

Out of the blue, youre blindsided by an outraged employeewhos complaining about faulty machinery, an obnoxious fellowworker, poor working conditions, a procedural roadblock, or anyother situation seemingly beyond control.

What to do? Start by turning down the heat and gathering asmuch information as possible.

Gather Information

First, give the person your full attention ASAP. Putting peopleoff when they are upset only makes things worse. If they vent theirfury to sympathetic coworkers in the meantime, the complaint willbe harder to contain and resolve.

Do your best to draw the worker out. People usually feelbetter after theyve blown off steam. Encourage them to unload

completely; listen carefully to what they say. Ask questions andmake supportive comments such as I see, Tell me more, Whatelse should I know, or Give me all the details. Nod occasionallyand make frequent eye contact, but dont be patronizing.

And dont deal in personalities or generalities. Limit thediscussion to specific, objective information.

If other employees are involved, meet with them individually.Talking to them as a group is just asking for trouble. Keep each

persons remarks confidential.Last, stay seated if things get heated. In times when going

postal means more than mailing a letter, avoid any signs ofphysical confrontation. Sit down, even if the employee insists onstanding. Speak calmly; keep your cool. If the employee is actingirrational or highly agitated, dont get into a shouting match. Call atime out and schedule a meeting later in the day. Report anyimplied physical violence through the proper channels.


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Respond Appropriately

After settling the employee down and getting all the facts, youcan:

Solve the problem immediately. Sometimes you have asatisfying solution at hand. If theres no obvious solution

Ask the irate employee what he or she wants you to do. Thistechnique helps to move egocentric people outside their ownorbit so they view the problem from your side of the desk. Theymight even suggest a remedy you wouldnt have thought of. Inany event, asking for suggestions puts some responsibility on theemployee to help resolve the issue instead of just dumping it onyou and storming off down the hall.

Clarify your authority. You may be governed by policies or

procedures that give you no leeway in how you respond. If so,say so. Dont get peoples hopes up by saying youll look into asituation that you know youre powerless to change. Sometimes,the only honest answer is, Im sorry. Theres nothing I can do.

Admit your role. If your mistake caused the blowup, say so.Refusing to say youre wrong only adds fuel to the fire. As oneemployee said of her boss, I could forgive him an honestmistake, but I wont forgive him for being too pig-headed to admitit when I laid the facts in from of him.

If no solution is at hand, at least confirm your intent to befair. Fairness, or lack of it, is at the heart of many employeecomplaints. Without making guarantees, assure the person thatyoull make your best effort to set things right if you possibly canand that the complaint wont be swept under the rug.

Write a memo for your files. Summarize your conversationwhile the information is fresh. Note the date, time, and placewhere you met, key remarks, and major facts. This can be

helpful if the employee decides to go over your head.


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Follow Up

Some managers hear out a complaint, then do nothing,hoping the whole problem will disappear. And then they wonderwhy employees dont respect them!

Be sure to hold a follow-up meeting after youve investigatedthe matter to discuss what youll do. Keep in mind that your

decision may set a precedent for similar complaints in the future.Inform your boss and line up his or her support in case the workerchallenges your decision and files a formal grievance.

But in most cases, a quick and appropriate response, even if itgoes against an employees wishes, will defuse anger and help

keep moral high.

mod 4 - conflict management

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