Modest Proposal“Welfare”

Shannon FeraPeriod 5

Mr. Clawson

Addressing the Issue

One of the most terrible troubles facing society today is the abuse of welfare. Millions of Americans are raising their families off of government assistance while others work a full time job and pay taxes to support useless Americans.

Welfare Qualifications

* You must have at least 5 kids each with a different baby daddy.

* You must plan on buying a pack of new ports and the new jay’s with your cash assistance.

* You must also waste what paycheck you do earn on buying a 40 oz. For you and the girls on a Saturday night.

Changes In The World

Now that we’ve made these few minor adjustments the world will be a much better place. There will be a baby boom in the year 2011. Michael Jordan will continue to make millions off his average 150$ pair of shoes released each month. And lastly working Americans will quit their jobs and join the party! (including myself as soon as possible.)