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M O T H E R A S R E V E A L E D T OM E

English edition of

BHAIJI’S MATRI DARSHAN in Bengali

TRANSLATED

By

SRI GANGA CHARAN DASGUPTA

SHREE SHREE ANANDAMAYEESANGHA

KANKHAL, HARIDWAR

piojo

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Published by : Shree Shree Anandamayee Sangha,Kankhal, Haridwar-249408 Revised edition:108th Birth anniversary of Sri Sri MaMay 2004 Price: Paperback: Rs 50/- Board bound: Rs 75/- Printed by:Ratna Offsets LimnitedKmachha Varanasi

C O N T E N T S

Foreword Image Mantric Power Thought Power

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Yogic Power State of samadhi Mother and Her playful role Ashram On the way to new life To distant lands Sri Sri Ma P R E FA C E T O T H E F I R S TE D I T I O N On the eve of his departure for Kailash with Mother in1937 when Bhaiji left his Bengali manuscriptwith me forpublication, it was his express desire that the book shouldbe published Hindi simultaneously. His unexpected deathon his way back upset all, our plans. The Bengali editionwas first published in 1937 shortly after his death. TheHindi edition was also published in 1957[ 1947 ?].Though the English rendering ready it could not bepublished so long.I trust , it will be gratifying to Mother’s devotees to learnthat through the ardour and generosity of Sri KamleshParasram Punwani---a devotee of Mother from Sing ,West Pakistan , the English edition of Matri Darshan ispublished now. This edition will, it is hoped, carryMother’s message beyond the shores of India.My grateful thanks are also due to Sri Girija ShankarBhattacharya, Professor [retired] of the Presidency

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College, Calcutta, who in spite of his frail health, sparedno pains to help me in getting the book published in notime. 44 Hazra Road,CALCUTTA -19 GANGA CHARANDASGUPTA4th May, 1952

FOREWORD To write a biography of Sri Sri AnandmayeeMa or to draw the attention of the world to Herinfinite powers is not the object of this feebleattempt on my part. I have, in this little sketch,introduced only a few facts of my own directexperience to show how She opened up afountain of life in my almost parched-up soul.All the blemishes that appear in this work , aretraceable to my own personal limitations forwhich I sincerely implore her pardon. I lost my mother when I was but a small boy. Ihave heard my relations say that my eyes usedto swim in tears whenever I heard infantsbabbling our “Ma, Ma” with their soft, shrillvoices; and that I would soothe my heart bylying on the floor and weeping silently.

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My father was a saintly person. The deepreligious spirit of his life implanted in me ,during my very childhood years, seeds ofdivine aspiration. In 1908 I had my initiation inShakti Mantra [mantra---speech symbolrepresenting a deity] from our family Guru[Guru---- family preceptor who initiates oneinto the spiritual life]. On that account I had toworship the Mother Divine; and when I couldpour out all my devotional fervour with “Ma,Ma” , during my prayer time, I found greatrelief and happiness. Even then I could hardlyrealise that mother is the fountainhead ofsupreme joy and happiness for all living beings.There was an over-powering desire in me to findsuch a Living Mother who, by her lovingglances, could transform my storm-tossed soul.I approached many saintly persons and wasdesperate enough even to consult astrologersfor an answer to this query, — Shall I have thegood fortune to meet such a mother?“ All heldout high hopes.

With that object in view, I visited manyholy places and had the opportunity of meetingnumerous spiritual personalities; but none couldsatisfy my desire.

I worked in a Government office atCalcutta. It was transferred to Dacca in 1918and I was posted there. By the end of 1924 Icame to learn that Ma Anandamayee had beenliving for some months in Shah-bag near thecity, observing silence for a long time, alwaysseated in some Yogic posture and would, on

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some rare occasions, draw a line on the floorround Her seat and have very short talks withpeople after reciting some mantras or sacredtexts.

One morning I went there in a prayerfulspirit, and was fortunate enough to see Mother,through the kind courtesy of Her husband,whom~ people addressed as Pitaji or Father. itsent a thrill into my heart to see her sereneYogic posture along with all the modesty andgrace to be met with only in a newly marriedlady. It at once flashed upon my mind that theperson for whom my heart had yearned for somany years, and in whose search I had traveledto so many sacred places, stood revealed beforeme.

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My whole being was flooded with joy andevery fibre of my body danced with ecstasy.There was an impulse to throw myself prostrateat Her feet and to cry out in tears—’Mother,why have you kept me away from you all theselong, long years ?“

After some minutes, I asked Mother, ‘HaveI any chance of spiritual uplift?” She replied,‘Your hunger for such a life is not yet strongenough.” I had come with a load of thoughtsstruggling for expression, but all were hushedinto silence under the spell of Her soothinggrace. I sat there speechless and dumb. Mother,too, spoke not a word. After a little while, Ibowed to Her and left the place. I could nottouch Her feet though I had a strong desire todo so. It was not through fear or delicacy; somemysterious power pushed me away from Herpresence.

I did not go to Shah-bag for longafterwards. I reflected thus:—”As long as Shewould not draw me close to Her like my ownMother, removing Her veil, how could I claspHer feet to my bosom?” There was a greatconflict in me; a strong desire to see Her and asharp pain at Her aloofness;— both wereequally strong and in opposition to each other.No mode of approach seemed possible. In themeantime I used to go to the adjoining Sikhtemple; and standing by the garden wall, I sawMother from a distance so that nobody couldnotice it. During these days of indecision, I

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would analyse the movements of my mind andwould often question myself, “What are thingscoming to ?”

But I had no power of taking a decision. Iwould often get all news about Mother andlisten with attention to every story about HerLila (play of divine forces) In this manner Ipassed seven months in the midst of the din andbustle of every day life with a prospect ofmeeting Her every hour. One day I broughtMother to my house. An intense joy thrilled mywhole being to meet Her after such a long time.But it was not permanent. When She was aboutto leave my house I bowed down to touch Herfeet, but She withdrew them. I felt as if piercedby a smarting pain.

Then I tried to ease the pangs of the strugglein my heart by reading various books onreligion. I resolved to publish a small book onreligion and religious practices. The book waswritten and published under the title,“Sadhana ” and I forwarded a copy of it toMother through Sri Bhupendra Narayan DasGupta. Mother curtly said to him,—”Ask theauthor to come and see me.”

On receiving this call from Mother I went toShah-bag one morning. I came to learn that Hervow of silence of the last three years was over.She came and sat close to me. I read out thewhole book to Her and after hearing thecontents, She said,—”Though after three yearsof silence, my vocal chords are not functioningproperly, yet words are forcing themselves outof my mouth to-day. Your book is quite good.

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Try to develop even more purity of thoughtand action.”

During that interview with Her, Pitaji waspresent. I began to feel that a new world wasopening out before me and that I was sittinglike a little child before my own parents

Since then I used to go to Shah-bag. Irequested my wife to go and see Mother withsome offerings. At that time Mother used to puton a golden nose ring. My wife took with herone large silver plate, some curd, flowers,sandal paste and one diamond nose-ring aspresents for Mother, and with great delight andrespect she offered them at Her feet.

It transpired afterwards that Mother wouldhave Her food placed upon the bare ground atthat time and use no plate whatsoever. So Pitajihad said to Her once with great disgust:—”You don’t take your food from brass platesor bell-metal ones. Will you have it then on asilver plate?“ Mother laughed and said, “Yes,but do not tell anybody about this during thenext three months and please do not make anyattempt yourself to procure silver plates”. Nowbefore the three months expired the silver platewas given to Her as mentioned above.

One day Mother said to me,—”Remember,you really are a Brahmin; and there is a verysubtle, close spiritual link between this bodyand yourself.” From that very day I tried tokeep my body pure in all respects.

I learnt from various sources that many ofMother’s devotees had been fortunate enoughto find the images of many gods and goddessesrevealed in Her body. But as I saw with my

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own eyes manifestations of great supernaturalpowers in Her every day life, I did not care tolook for some special revelation. My humbleaspiration was that if I could model my life afterthe ideals of patience and composure alwaysmanifested in Her, it would be more thanenough for me.

Still man’s natural impulse to see somematerial embodiment of divine powers inhuman life, prompted me one day to enquirefrom Her, when I found Her alone : I asked,—”Mother, pray, tell me, what are you inreality? She laughed out loudly and said withall affection:— “How could such childishqueries arise in your heart ? The vision ofgods and goddesses appears in accordancewith one’s inherited dispositions (samskaras).I am what I was and what I shall be; I amwhatever you conceive, think or say. But it isa supreme fact that this body has not comeinto being to reap the fruits of past karma..(Prarabdha or the results of actions of pastbirths about to mature in this life. )Why don’tyou take it that this body is the materialembodiment of all your thoughts and ideas.You all have wanted it and you have it now.So play with this doll for some time. Furtherquestions will be fruitless.” I said,—”Thesewords of yours, Mother, do not satisfy myyearning.” Hearing this, She spoke with slightvehemence, —“Say, say, what more youdesire” and immediately a dazzling flood ofheavenly light shone forth from Her face. I wasstruck dumb with awe and wonder. All mydoubts were laid at rest.

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About fifteen days later, I went to Shah-bagone morning and found the door of Mother’sbed-room closed. I sat down in front of it some25 to 30 feet away. The door opened all atonce. I found to my bewilderment, the figure ofa divinely beautiful goddess as genially brightas the sun at dawn, illumining the wholeinterior of the room. In the twinkling of an eyeShe withdrew all the radiance within Her bodyand Mother was there, standing and smiling inHer usual manner.

In a second the whole vision had passed offlike the play of some supernal magic. To me itappeared that I had dropped down fromdreamland. I remembered at once that Motherhad revealed Herself in response to what I hadsaid a few days back. I began to recite a hymnand prayed to Her,—”May I be a worthy son ofyours, worthy to be blessed with all yourmotherly bounty and grace.’’After a little while Mother advanced towardsme. She picked a flower and a few blades ofdurba grass [Durbadala -a common grass, theblades of which are used during worship] andplaced them on my head, as I fell at Her feet.[Those sacred emblems were left with the wifeof the translator when Sri J.C. Ray left forKailash]

I was beside myself with joy and rolled onthe ground at Her feet. The day that is gonenever comes back. How I wish for a happyreturn of that blessed day.

From that moment a deep conviction beganto take root in my mind that She was not only

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my mother but the Mother of this universe. Ireturned home. As soon as I collected myself,the same luminous image of Mother flashedupon my mind and tears streamed down mycheeks. From that very day onwards Her graceworked such a change in me and in so natural amanner that Her figure occupied the place ofthe goddess whom I had worshipped all theseeighteen years, since my initiation in earlyyouth. This change at times created some doubtin my mind as to whether I was pursuing theright course or not. But in a few days Mothertook Her rightful place in my soul, possessing itfully. (Mother (Her original name was Nirmala Sundari

Devi) was born in the village of Kheora, DistrictTripura, in 1818 Saka Era (1896, April 30) in theearly hours of Friday, 1 hour 12 mins. before dawn.The place of Her birth has recently been acquired;when She went to Kheora on the 17th May 1937,She, being pressed by Her devotees, indicated theexact spot where Her body first touched the earth,Her father Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya was adescendant of the well-known Kashyapa Brabminfamily of village Vidyakut, in the same district. Hisearly life he passed in the house of his maternaluncle. Both Mother’s father and mother, Sm.Mokshada Sundari Devi, had very kind and lovingnature. Their devotion to God, their simplicity andstandard of social life were almost ideal Thematernal house of Mother at Sultanpur, Tripura,had a very high social status for a long time. Therewere many learned Pandits and devotees in thefamily. The report goes that a pious lady of the samefamily mounted the funeral pyre of her husbandchanting hymns merrily. Mother was married to SriRamani Mohan Chakravarty of village Atpara ofVikrampur when She was just 12 years 10 monthsold. He belonged to the well-known BharadwajBrahmin family of that village. His life wasdedicated to the welfare of people. He was

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afterwards known as Baba Bholanath, Rama Paglaor Pitaji.)

Mother’s early life, was spent unnoticed in

the villages Kheora and Sultanpur. After Hermarriage She passed some time in Sreepur andNarundi, where the elder brother of Bholanath,Her husband, worked; some months were alsospent in Her husband’s house at Atpara. BeforeShe came to Dhaka, She had stayed for aboutthree years at Vidyakut and for about six yearsat Bajitpur with Her husband.At Astagram was first manifested prominentlyMother’s liking for Kirtan songs (a musicalmode of devotional songs introduced byVishnava poets, saint and composers); atBajitpur that mood was noticeable only attimes; but the dominant tone of Her mindduring this period was the natural expression ofmantric symbolism and Yogic practices.[ (Various phases of psychic evolution of life withthe corresponding transformation of thephysical vehicle]. When She came to Shah-bag at Dhaka the stateof Her quiescence and silence continued; butthen a phase of intense peace and tranquilitybecame the all-pervading feature of Her life. Itis difficult to convey in words an idea of thedepth of that state. During this period what aninterplay of divine thoughts and expressionbecame manifest in all the ways of Her life

At this time many of Her devotees began toflock round Her. Many of them took part inworship, devotional songs and sacrificial rites.It is difficult to describe the ways by which

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their souls became steeped in tranquil bliss inHer presence. All people would, at this time, address Her as‘Mother of the Shah-bag’ and would expresstheir delight by saying that such a wealth ofMother’s grace they had never enjoyed beforein all their life.

While at Bajitpur the whole history of theSiddhesvari Kali temple at Dhaka had dawnedupon Her mind.

During Her residence at Shah-bag RaiBahadur Pran Gopal Mukherji, who has sinceretired as Post Master General, was at Dhaka.He and Sri Baul Chandra Basak found meansfor the preservation of the Siddhesvari Temple.

When I met Mother first, She gave me ahint, saying,— “Your appetite for the spiritualis not strong enough.” But to one tossed aboutby the turmoil of worldly desires, such cravingfor higher life was not possible, unless onecould learn how to direct all the uncontrolledwaves of one’s emotions and impulses towardsHer feet. I would always pray silently in thesecrecy of my heart, —”Oh Mother, youmanifest yourself as Hunger in every being; *awaken in me a real hunger for thingsimmutable and everlasting.” How Mother, inHer infinite mercy directed my ever fluctuatingdisposition towards Her all-pervasive presence,is narrated below:—

1. One night I was walking about on theopen balcony of my house; there was a glitterof moonlight on all objects about me. Iperceived some movements by my side and

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turned round. I found to my amazement, animage of Mother gliding along with me. Shewore a red chemise and a sari with a series ofthin red lines for border. But when I left theAshram only a couple of hours back, I hadnoticed on Her person a white chemise and asari with only one broad red border. This mademe doubt the correctness of the vision. Butwhen I went to Her early morning on thefollowing day, I found Her dressed exactly likewhat I had seen in the preceding night. I wastold that a devotee came to the Ashram after Ihad left, and made Her wear those clothes.

When Mother was told about my vision,She said in a most natural way, “I went to seewhat you were doing.”

2. One day Mother came to my house andconversed with us on the first floor; just then acar arrived to take Her to another place. I didnot know that it had been arranged previously.Mother got ready to start; but I felt greatanguish to find Her leaving my house aftersuch a short visit. With a sorrowful heart I camedown-stairs to see Her off. She got into the car,but it did not move though the driver gave thestart. She was looking at me with Her facebeaming with a genial laugh. When the driverfailed to move the car, a hackney carriage wasbrought for Her. It was painful to think thatMother would have to go in a hired carriagewhen the4 car stood ready. Just at that time thecar began to move to my surprise and joy, andMother left.

3. The pressure of crowds at Shah-bagincreased from day to day, as people came to

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know about Mother. On one occasion I couldnot meet Her in the course of four days. On themorning of the fifth day I had resolved to go toHer but changed my mind. I sat down indespair in my room. I saw to my surprise thefull image of Mother appearing on the wallopposite, like a film picture. She looked quitesad. On turning round I found Sri.Amulyaratan Choudhury standing by my chair.He said,—”Mataji has sent a carriage to takeyou to Her.” When I reached the Shah-baggarden Mother said,—” I have been noticingyour restlessness for the last few days. Peaceand tranquility cannot come unless there issome restlessness in one’s mind to start with.You should kindle fire by any means, eitherwith clarified butter or sandalwood or evenwith straw. Once alight, the fire burns on; allworries, darkness and gloom graduallydisappear. It will burn to ashes all obstacles.You know a spark is sufficient to start aconflagration reducing hundreds of homes andpalaces to cinders.”

4. At noon in the office, or at mid-night inmy bed-room, when a very strong desire to seeMother made me quite restless, I found Herappear before me on many occasions and She atonce would say,—”You called me and I havecome”.

5. One afternoon when I returned fromoffice, I was told, an unknown person had left alarge fish in my house saying that he wouldcome back shortly. But nobody turned up. Thefish lay upon the floor. When nobody appearedtill dusk was cut into pieces and sent to Mother

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at Shah-bag. Next morning when I went there,Pitaji told me—”Your Mother said to me last night, ‘Look here,

Jyotish is my God”’. On enquiry I came tolearn that on the previous morning a fewpersons got Mother’s prasad [,Prasad is thefood that is left after the Mother has taken some. It isdistributedamong the devotees.] but when in theevening many people came to take part inKirtan or devotional concert, they alldesired to have Mother’s prasad. Therewas no stock of provisions. Just at the timewhen Mother was preparing spices,condiments for cooking, my servantKhagen came with the fish and othernecessary articles. And this evoked fromHer the expressions stated by Pitaji. “I wasstruck with surprise”, added Bholanath, “tohear how an unknown person had broughta fish to your house and how it could besent with other necessaries to satisfy thedevotees clamouring for Mother’s prasad.”Such incidents were numerous. At Shah-

bag, a man was praying for some prasad fromMother there was nothing available there at thetime. Just then a desire impelled me to sendsome fruits or sweets. When my man reachedthere with the things he found that Motherappeared to be waiting for them.

6. One night at about 3 A.M., I was wideawake sitting on my bed and it flashed uponmy mind that Mother was sleeping with Herhead in a direction opposite to what She was

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accustomed to. At dawn when I went to Her Ifound Her exactly in the same position. Onenquiry I learnt that Mother went out at 3 A.M. and on returningShe changed Her sleeping posture.

It often happened that from my own roomor from my desk at the office I could seedistinctly what Mother was doing at Her place.I could see these things without any effort ofmy will; at times such pictures flashed acrossmy mind without my ever thinking about them.Bhupen used to go to Shah-bag every day andI could verify the truth of my visions throughhim. There was hardly any discrepancy. Motherwould often say to me,—-”Your real home is atShah-bag; you go to your own house just foran outing.”

7. One noon I was busy at my desk.Bhupen came and said, “Mother has asked youto go to Shah-bag. I had informed Her that theDirector of Agriculture would take over chargeof office that day on the expiry of his leave; butMother replied,—’You are to carry the messageto Jyotish, let him do what he thinks proper’.”

Without a moment’s hesitation I left all thepapers spread out on my desk and withoutinforming any body at the office I started forShah-bag. When I arrived there, Mother said,—“Let us go to Siddhesvari Ashram.” Iaccompanied Mother and Pitaji. There was asmall hollow, just where now stands a smallpedestal and a Shiva Lingam. Mother sat insidethe hollow and Her face was beaming with asmile, breathing radiant joy. I exclaimed to

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Pitaji: “From to-day we shall call Mother bythe name of Anandamayee”; he at once said,“Yes, be it so!” She only glanced at me with afixed gaze.

When we were about to return at 5-30 P.M.,She enquired, —” You were all along so full ofJoy, how is it that you now look so pale?” Ireplied, that the thought of going home hadmade me think of the unfinished work at theoffice. She said, —”You need not worry aboutit.” Next day when I went to office, the Directorsaid nothing about my absence on the previousday.

I asked Mother why She had called me sounexpectedly the day before. She said, “It wasto test how much you have gone ahead duringthese few months.” She added with a geniallaugh, —”If you had not come, who else wouldhave given a name to this body?”

8. Once His Excellency the Governor ofBengal came to Dhaka. The Director asked meto attend office at 9-30 A.M., as he would go topay a visit to the Governor. I promised tocome. Next morning I was late in returningfrom Shah-bag and when I reached office it was9-50 A.M. I was a bit nervous as to how Iwould meet my boss. When I was thinkingabout the matter he phoned to me from hisbungalow to say that his car had gone wrong,that he was sorry to put me to trouble and thathe would go to Government House at 11 A.M.

When Mother heard the story, She said witha laugh,— “Is it anything new to you ? Theother day you threw out of gear the car inwhich I was to leave.”

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9. On one occasion Mother came to ourhouse. In the course of our talk I said casually,—”It appears, Ma, that to you hot and cold arethe same .If a piece of burning coal fell on yourfeet, would you not feel the pain?” She replied,“Just test it.” I did not press the point further.

After a few days, taking up the thread of

our previous conversation, Mother placed apiece of burning coal on Her foot. There wasdeep burning sore. For one month it did notheal up. I felt very upset about that sillysuggestion of mine. One day I found Her in theverandah with her legs stretched out and Hergaze fixed on the sky. Some pus had gatheredon the sore. I bowed down and licked the pusup with my tongue and lips. From thefollowing day the sore began to heal up.

I asked Mother how She felt when the livecoal was burning Her flesh. She said in reply, “I was not aware of any pain. It looked likenothing but fun; with great joy I watched whatthe poor wretched coal was doing on my foot; Inoticed that at first some hairs, then the skinbegan to burn; it smelt of burn and graduallythe coal was put out after doing its work.‘When later a sore formed, it continued itscourse; but as soon as a strong desire arose inyou that the wound be healed up soon, it took arapid turn for the better.”

10. It was the month of Magh , mid-winter,

with biting cold. At early dawn I was walkingbarefoot with Mother on the grassy fields ofRamna, wet with dew. From a distance I

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noticed a group of ladies coming towards us. Ithought , as soon as they arrived, they wouldtake Mother to the ashram. As these thoughtswere passing through my mind, the whole fieldwas covered over with a very thick fog and theladies could not be seen. After some three hourswhen we returned to the ashram, we heard thatthe party of ladies got tired trying to find us andwhen Mother was informed about my thoughts,she said,” Your strong desire was fulfilled.”11. Once Mother was suffering much from coldand cough. Finding her very unwell, I prayedto her with a tremulous voice of entreaty, “Mother, may you be soon restored to health.!” She gazed at me and said with a laugh---“Fromtomorrow I shall be all right, my child.” And soit came to be.

12. One morning I found that Mother hadfever. I came back to my house and prayed atnight fervently that Her fever might pass intomy body. Towards morning I had fever andheadache. When I went to Mother in themorning, as usual, she said at once, “I am allright, but you have fever. Go back to yourhouse, have bath and take your usual food.” Idid so and was all right by the afternoon.

Mother always says---“By force of pure ,concentrated thought everything becomespossible.”

13. A book named Sadhu Jivani [ Lives ofSaints] got into my hands. There appeared thisline ,---He [a sadhu] used to advise hisdevotees always to give good food to thepoor.” I wrote the following note on themargin: Giving food only dose not satisfy a

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human soul.” This book was taken to Mother atShah-bag and one of Her devotees read out myremark. Mother said nothing. After a few days Iwent to Shah-bag quite early in the morning.Just then a man tike one in a fit of insanity,came and said, “Give me some food or I diewith hunger.” Mother searched the kitchen storeand gave to the man what She could collect atthe time. He wanted water to drink and Motherdirected me to give him some; when I came toknow that the man was a Muslim, had fastedfor three days and had come into the ashramscaling over the enclosure, Mother said to methat he had come there to teach me the efficacyof giving food and drink to one who needs it.Everything has its proper place and time.Nothing is lost in the divine economy of theworld.

14. One day I said to Mother,—”Ma, allthese days the mantric sounds arise in me in acontinuous stream. In the daytime as well as atdead of night the flow of the sound -naturallywells out of my heart, like the gushing jets of afountain.” When I said it, some slight tinge ofpersonal satisfaction lurked in the inmost recessof my heart. Mother gazed at me and saidnothing. When I reached home, the soundceased and in spite of my best efforts, I couldnot revive it. The day passed and night woreon, but the joyful stream of mantric melodycould not be restored. Next morning I requestedBhupen to inform Mother about my sad plight.Bhupen met Mother on the way while She wasproceeding to a devotee’s house in a carriage.

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She began to laugh. It was 10 A.M. Just at thatmoment I found that thechoked-up stream began to flow with its formerease. I came to know from Bhupen afterwardsat what time he had met Mother. In thisconnection Mother was heard to observe that inspiritual matters, even the slightest tinge of I-ness retards one’s progress.

15. I give below another instance of thepromptness with which Mother’s benigninfluence helps the growth of our inner life. It isa pity that we fail to recognise its value and donot utilise it for our spiritual up-lift. After thefirst enthusiasm is over, we relapse into ourformer condition.

Once Mother said with a laugh, “As youchant the divine names or mantras [ special nameor mantra with which one is initiated] , your mindgradually loses its impurity; love and reverencefor the Supreme Being awaken and yourthoughts become subtle and refined. Thenglimpses of higher planes of existence begin todawn upon you and work for your up-lift.”

The day I heard these words. I sat in alonely corner of my house for evening prayers;to my surprise I experienced a new joy at theflow of divine names. They continued withoutany pause; sleep came on and as soon as I wokeup, those joyous vibrations again thrilled mybeing. Next day the same joyful spell went onin an undertone due to the pressure of officeroutine; towards dusk, when I disposed mymind for prayers, the bliss of the previousevening filled my heart, so that there was noinclination to sleep at all; at dead of night the

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flow was so intense, that I thought , I would feelrelieved if there were a pause. But it went onwith its own momentum.I had never practised sitting in a Gomukhi

posture. (Gomukhi---pose of the body consists inlaying the legs flat on the ground on either side ofthe body, with erect backbone, the face lookingstraight forward.

Towards the early hours of the morning beforedawn I found myself in that posture. Duringthose hours my body and mind were immersedin a sea of inexpressible joy. Tears welled outof my eyes without a stop. In one spell ofmeditation, I passed the whole time motionlessand was completely absorbed. 16. One morning, in those early days of self-surrender, I sat in silence. My heart was full of adeep emotion for mother’s love. kripa---divinegrace) A song in Bengali took shape, of whichthe translation is given below:—

Let Thy worship, Thy hymns of praisebe the eternal solace of my life;

Let my life brim over with the songsof Thy adoration, thoughts of Thy

Divine Grace.I shall see Thee, Mother, in thewide open sky with wistful eyes;I shall not ask for any boon,

say not a word; I shall only lay myselfdown at Thy feet with tears of bliss;

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I shall move about in Thy endlessexpanse of heaven, scattering songslike flowers representing Thy glory.

I shall steep myself in Thy bliss, chanting

Thy holy names and sending theirechoes throughout the Universe.

All my actions, all my thoughts of

religion areThy worship.

Oh Mother, give me Bhakti,(spirit ofadoration) firm faith, so that I maymake Thy feet the sheet-anchor of mylife.

I gave this song the title, “The song of acrazy fellow” and sent a printed copy of it toMother. Afterwards I heard that when it reachedHer, She was cutting and trimming a gourd forthe kitchen with a billhook. While the song wasbeing recited to Her, the gourd fell from Herhands and She sat motionless for some time.

When I met Her afterwards, She said, “Theworld is the embodiment of Bhava (idea) or theIdea of the Good. All created things are itsmaterial expressions. If you can once rouseyour soul with the divine bhava, you will cometo find that in this universe there runs one playof the bhava; without it man fumbles about andmisses the real import of life.”

A few days later we were all sitting at theSiddhesvari Ashram, when Mother said, “Singthat song of yours bearing the title of “Pagler

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Gaan”[the song of a crazy fellow] .t I had longgiven up the practice of singing songs; besides,there were many people present and I hesitated.Mother laughed, saying, —”You have onlycomposed a song of a crazy fellow, but are notyet crazy enough to ignore the criticism of theworld.” These words sank deep into my souland with a trembling heart and tremulous voiceI sang.

I composed many such songs and offeredthem at Her feet. She expressed Her delightover some, and others She passed over withmute approval. There were many occasionswhen Mother was away from Dhaka and songswelled out of my heart during my eveningprayers or during long midnight meditations. Icould see Mother’s figure standing before memotionless and listening to my raptures. WhenMother returned to Dhaka after touring differentplaces, She would ask me to repeat particularsongs I had sung on different occasions in myown room. It was really strange that She couldname even those songs that had not in any formbeen presented to Her before.

My intense longing to be by Mother’sside, sometimes wafted me away towardsinfinity. During this stage the few songs Icomposed were published in one volume underthe title, “Towards Thy Holy Feet” [ShreeCharane] .In addition to these, there was no endto songs, poems and short sketches which Iwrote on Mother, but tore off later. WhenMother heard about it, She said, “Not only inthis life but also in many of your former births,there is no knowing how many such hymns for

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me were composed and destroyed by you. Butknow this for certain, through all this scrapheap, this is your last life on this earth’.

Inspired by Mother’s all-embracing love, anaspiration for the Life Divine was kindled inme, but my senses sought crude pleasuresinstead of higher and more refined andinvigorating spiritual food. In some Vaishnavatreatisewe read, —”The man who hankers afterthe material objects of sense for indulgence ofthe tongue, stomach and sex, cannot find LordKrishna.”

Such was the case with me. Mother’s

boundless grace and affection could not holdme fast to Her Feet at all times of my life and inall my thoughts. It is indeed difficult for a mancaught in the snares of Avidya [The illusion that thebody or the mind are the Self.]to find an abiding shelter of peace in the

Divine.One day I said to Mother, —”Even a piece

of stone would have changed into gold at sucha hallowed touch as yours, but my life hasproved a dismal failure.”

She replied,—”That which takes a long

time to come into being, matures into anenduring beauty after an equally prolongedspan of development. Why do you worry overit so much? Hold fast to my guiding hand like atrustful child.” I listened to Her chasteningwords of encouragement with all eagerness, yet

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I felt a scorching dryness warping every fibre ofmy being. I cite below an instance to show howHer penetrating vision kept watch over mystruggles.

When, under the impulse of a deepdevotion I began to seek Her presence everyday, men were not wanting who cast unworthyaspersions on my conduct. Their reflectionsmade me doubtful and I began to feel that itwas but a common human weakness toapproach this man or that, for one’s spiritualuplift.

I stopped going to Mother, as my mind waswavering under criticism. I decided to readYoga Vashishta [ a treatise in Sanskrit on Vedanta )and improve my higher life through the cultureof the intellect. For seven or eight days Idevoted myself to a close study of the book.

One afternoon when I was having a rest inmy house, my servant informed me that an oldBrahmin (Shri Kalikumar Mukerji of villageGaodia in Vikrampore , Dhaka) desired aninterview with me for five minutes only. I methim. He told me that he had gone to the houseof my friend Niranjan Roy and of Dr. Sasank Mohan Mukherji ( This

gentleman father of Gurupriya Didi, was laterknown as Swami Akhandananda Giri Maharaj.]but could not meet them. That was why he hadcome to trouble me. He added, “I have heardthat you are a great devotee of Mother. Willyou kindly tell me what Mother is like andwhat Her special qualities are?“ At these wordsI sat speechless, tears rushing to my eyes. Hespoke again,—”I have received an answer to

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my queries; but do please tell me why there aretears in your eyes.

“I have been busy all these days with othermatters”, I replied, “leaving off all thought ofMother, and you have chosen to come to me tomake enquiries about Her. I have to hang downmy head in shame and regret. How wonderfulare Mother’s ways! It was through Her owninfluence that you were led to me just in time tobring me back to my better self. For this I amindebted to you indeed!“

He said to me, “Please take me to Mother”.After meeting Her, he said, —”I too lost mymother long ago, but as soon as I met Mother,my sorrow about my mother’s death vanishedaltogether.”

I narrated to Mother all that had passed inmy mind and wept at Her feet. She began tolaugh and said,—”In these days unless one isforced to move along a certain path, one cannotproceed.”

MANTRIC POWER

As far as is known to us, Mother has notreceived initiation from a Guru (a spiritual guide]according to prevalent social custom. Not studyof any Shastric text or of any religiousdiscourse has illumined the field of Herknowledge. Many men and women are of theopinion that She has come down to this worldto spread Divine Light and Power for theregeneration of humanity in this age.

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While yet a girl, various strangephenomena became manifest in Her body. Butthey escaped the notice of the common man.Already in the playful activities of Her earlyyouth there was such an attitude of detachmentand unconcern about Her, that many peoplecame to look upon Her as one retarded inintellect. Even Her parents had misgivingsabout Her future. It happened at times that Shedid not know where She was, nor could Sherecollect what She had done or said a fewminutes ago.

The report goes that in Her childhood Sheused to talk to trees and plants and invisiblebeings in the air as She walked about. Shewould also communicate with them by signsand gestures. Some times She would suddenlyrelapse into a mood of abstraction, snapping upall talk.

From the 17th to the 25th year of Her lifevarious supernatural phenomena began tomanifest in Her. At times She would becomemute and motionless while chanting the namesof Gods and Goddesses. During Kirtans Herbody got stiff and benumbed. After listening toa divine discourse or after visiting a temple Herbehaviour did not appear to be normal.

At the age of eighteen, She went to Bajitpur[ a small town in Mymensingh district, East Bengal] andstayed there for five or six years. Towards theclose of that period, many Mantrasspontaneously came from Her lips and manyimages of Gods and Goddesses flashed out ofHer body. Her limbs spontaneously formedinto various Yogic poses. While these divine

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manifestations found expression in Her body,Her speech ceased to function at Bajitpur forabout one year and three months, and whenShe came to Dhaka She continued in silence foranother year and nine months— thuscompleting three whole years. During thisperiod a glow of heavenly bliss and the serenityof the infinite expanse of heaven showed in Herappearance. It became evident then that thecurrents of the outer and inner worlds ceased toaffect Her altogether. She looked like onereposing in the absolute calm of the Self. Herportrait at that stage is given overleaf.

During all these extraordinary happeningsin Her life, Pitaji [Pitaji is the name given to Mother’shusband by her devotees] - would often show greatanxiety about their final outcome.

But in spite of all criticism and speculation,he never stood in Her way in any of Heractions. Fearing that Her body might bepossessed by some evil spirit, the help of somesadhus and exorcists was sought. It was of noavail; on the other hand, when these men triedto give Her treatment they were forced towithdraw in fear and amazement. It was onlyby praying for Her mercy that they couldrecover their balance. During a period of fullfive months and a half, images of many Godsand Goddesses manifested through Her body.She had visions of them. She would worshipthose deities, after which they faded awaycompletely. When the worship of one deity wasover, another made its appearance. During theceremony She would often feel that She Herselfwas the worshipper, the worshipped and the act

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of worshipping; that She was the Mantras, theoblation and every one of the ingredients.

In these acts of worship there were nomaterial objects, nor was there any desire onHer part to perform the ceremonies. As soon asShe sat in a lonely place, all the physical andmental activities involved in acts of worshipmanifested themselves by a mysterious processof self-sprung activity. It was ascertainedafterwards from persons well versed in shastricrites and rituals, which all the various processesof worship as performed by Her, were quite inaccordance with the shastric injunctions.Whenever anyone enquired how it could bepossible for Her to observe those rites soperfectly, Her only reply was, —”Don’t ask meanything now, you will come to know at theright time.”

On the 28th Chaitra [ 1923 AD] Motherarrived at Dhaka and three four days later shecame to Shah-bag [the name of the garden belongingto the Nawab of Dhaka]. Many devotees began toassemble there for Her darshan [ paying homageto Mother] .In the year 1925 some devoteesrequested her to perform Kali Puja [ worship ofthe image of Kali, the goddess of the universe), for theyhad heard that Her celebration of the puja wasmarvelous. She replied,” I know little of theshastric rites and rituals; it will be better if yousecure the help of professional priests.” Later, atHer husband’s request, she however agreed toperform the puja.

When mother was worshipped by Herdevotees, their joy knew no bounds . But when

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She Herself chose to worship a goddess fortheir illumination, the dignity of such worshipincreased a thousand-fold. It was too deep forwords. All the devotees felt an inexpressible joyin their hearts at the beauty and solemnity of theceremony.

An image of Kali was brought . Mother saton the ground in a meditative posture, inabsolute silence. Then, like one overwhelmedwith devotion, she started the puja, chantingmantras and placing flowers with sandal pasteupon Her own head instead of on the image.All her actions appeared to be like a doll’smovements, as if some invisible hand wereusing her body as a pliant tool, fort theexpression of the divine. Occasionally someflowers were strewn on the image of the Kali.In this manner the puja was performed.

A he-goat was to be sacrificed. It wasbathed in water. When it was brought tomother, she took it on her lap and wept as Shestroked its body gently with Her hands then sherecited some mantras touching every part of theanimal’s body and whispered something into itsear; thereafter She worshipped the weapon withwhich the goat was to be sacrificed. Sheprostrated Herself on the ground , placing themknife upon Her own neck. Three sounds likethe bleating of a goat came from her lips.Afterwards when the animal was sacrificed, itneither moved not uttered a cry, nor was thereany trace of blood upon the severed head orbody. Only with great difficulty one singledrop of blood was last drawn from the animals’carcass . All that time Mother’s face glowed

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with an intense uncommon beauty andthroughout the ceremony there was a spell ofgreat sanctity and deep absorption over all thepeople present.

In 1926 all the devotees prayed to Motherto perform the puja once again. She saidnothing. Later when She was being taken to thehouse of a devotee, she raised her left hand,smiled and remained silent. When asked byPitaji [her husband was often addressed bydevotees as Pitaji, which means father] as to themeaning of the gesture, she did not reply.Again when she sat in that house to take Herfood, the same movement of Her left hand wasrepeated. After some days, Mother explainedthat on the way to the devotee’s house, She hadseen some 120 or 130 yards away, the livinggoddess Kali, floating in the air about 9 yardsabove the ground and stretching her handstowards Mother, as if desiring to come to Herlap. While taking Her food that day, the sameimage had stood before Her like a tiny girl.That was why She had raised Her left hand.

On the day preceding the Kali puja, whenthe devotees renewed their prayer to Mother,She requested Pitaji: “As they are so eager tocelebrate the puja, you may officiate as thepriest.” He said to them, “Since your Motherhas asked me to perform the puja, I shall do so.Please make all necessary preparations.” Theyenquired about the size of the image, and Pitajisuggested that it should be as high as wasshown by Mother on two occasions, when Shehad raised Her hand while sitting.

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At that time Mother was lying on theground in a motionless, inert condition. Arough measurement was taken. It was 11 P.M.There was much discussion as how in thecourse of one short day an image of theindicated size could be obtained. With greatmisgivings, Sri Surendra Lal Banerji went tothe city from Shah-bag. In one shop a statue ofthe right measurements was found. There weretwelve images in all, of which eleven had beenordered by a customer. The extra one had beenmodeled by the artist on his own initiative.

The image was brought in time. Mother satdown to perform the puja. There was a divineatmosphere about Her person. After some time,Mother suddenly rose from Her seat and said toPitaji, — “I am going to my place, pleaseperform the puja yourself.’ Saying this Shestood by the side of the image and with a weirdlaughter, sat down on the ground . The wholeatmosphere of the room was surcharged with awonderful divine rapture too deep for words.Mother said, “All of you shut your eyes andchant the name of God.”

The house was over-full; one man whostood outside, peeped into the room,unobserved. Yet Mother called him by hisname and commanded him to shut his eyes. Allpresent had their eyes closed; nobody knew atthe time what had happened. But wheneveryone opened their eyes it was found that apleader, Sri Brindaban Chandra Basak byname, lay on the ground unconscious. Hestated afterwards, “When I peeped into theroom I noticed a very intense glow of light

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radiating from Mother’s face. It was sopowerful that I fell down, unconscious. I do notknow what happened afterwards.”The night wore out as the puja drew to a close.There was no provision for a sacrifice. Whenthe time for the last ahuti [offerings to sacrificialfire.]arrived, Mother said, “It must not be offered, letthe sacrificial fire be preserved.” That fire hasbeen kept burning to this day.I. It was later brought from Dhaka to

Vindhyachal and Varanasi, where it is stillbeing carefully preserved in a special littletemple at the Ashram. The same fire wasused for the great Savitri Maha Yajnaperformed there from 1947-1950, aboutwhich a book has appeared in Bengali andHindi called “Akhanda Mahayajna.”

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Image

Ma in divine ecstasy duringKirtan

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The next day, the immersion of the image wasto take place. Niranjan’s wife arrived with allthe articles necessary for the ceremony. Whenshe looked at the image, she said to Motherwith emotion, ”Ma, I feel extremely reluctant toimmerse the image. “ Mother replied, ”Thesewords from your lips show that the Goddessdoes not wish to be immersed. Very well,arrangements shall be made for its preservationand worship.”Through great changes of circumstances, thisstatue of clay was kept standing in the sameposture for ten years.Two incidents may be mentioned in connectionwith this image. It was in September, 1927.Mother was leaving Chunar for Jaipur. I was atChunar then for a change and went to thestation to see Her off. Mother indicated a certainspot net the hillock on which the fort was builtand told me to go there on my way back. Iwould find a garland of flowers there which Ishould take and preserve carefully. I did as Iwas told. When She came back to Chunar , Shesaw the wreath. Afterwards when She returnedto Ramna, it was discovered that on theparticular day on which I found the garland atChunar, no garland had been placed round theneck of the goddess Kali at Ramna though itwas the priest’s usual practice to offer such agarland to the image every day.On another occasion Mother was at Cox’sBazaar in Chittagong at the seaside. She wasstrolling along the beach when She suddenlysaid with a smile, ”Look ay my wrist ; is itbroken? Isn’t it? Just examine it closely; there

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may be a fracture.” That very same night a thiefhad entered the Kali temple at Ramna andstolen Kali’s ornaments, breaking the wrist ofthe image. This idol is still preserved in an

underground cave at the Ramna Ashram.;[The once- famous ashram of Ma was razedto the ground by the Pakistan’s army duringthe liberation war in Bangladesh in 1971and the whole ashram area is at the presentunder the custody of the BangladeshGovernment. — Publisher.] Every yearduring Mother’s birthday celebrations, thedoor is kept open for all people to have adarshan. It was Mother’s great desire thatthe gates of our temples should be thrownopen to all classes of people irrespective ofcaste and creed.

On one occasion there was Vasanti Puja[Worship of the Divine Mother during thespring season, which is now being doneevery year in the Varanasi ashram) ]in theSiddheshvari Ashram. Mother was presentduring the ceremony of instilling life intothe image. As She gazed at it, its eyesbegan to sparkle like those of a livingperson.Mother says, —“The personality and

figures of gods and goddesses are as real asyour body and mine. They can be perceivedwith the inner vision opened up by purity, loveand reverence.”

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THOUGHT POWER

Every single thought of Mother is theoutcome of Supreme Beatitude [ playful expressionof Supreme Bliss] on closer scrutiny you will findevery fibre of Her Being vibrant with DivineBliss.

In order to play Her Ananda Leela with Herchildren She has taken on a bodily form,instinct with all the joys of the Divine. It is butnatural that for the good of all human beings,the best ideas on life and spiritual cultureshould find expression, develop and, as it were,take shape through Her and finally vanish intothe unknown .

If one studies Her closely one will find thatShe unfolds Herself in two ways: (1) Thebeauty of her outward behaviour towards allpeople (2) and the grace of Her inner life. Theperfectly calm, sweet and natural manner whichShe manifests with all classes of people, withthe most pious as well as the most sinful, withlittle children and restlessyouths as well as withold people bent down by age and infirmities,reveals a wonderful grace, exquisite beauty anddignity which at once captivate all hearts. Herother mode of life deals with the forces andpowers of the invisible world,— those heavenlyagents, incorporeal beings, that bring happinessand misery, blessings and curses on mankind.

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The interplay of these two aspects of Her life iswonderfully coherent and close.

During Her younger days as well as aftercoming to Dhaka, Mother spent much of Hertime lying on a bed. We came to know that Shelost Herself for hours together in Divineecstasy, which no words can express. In thiscondition She passed sometimes several days ata stretch in deep self-absorption, and duringKirtan songs and dances Her body took onvarious poses all indicating a state of SupremeBliss.

In 1332 B.E. (1926), there was a kirtan (a

kind of devotional “song” sung by all present] party inthe Shah-bag garden on the occasion ofUttarayan Sankranti( last day of the month of Pous—about the middle of January] It was the first publickirtan celebration in Mother’s presence. Aboutthis time Sri Shashibhushan Das Gupta camefrom Chittagong. At the first sight of Mother,his heart was filled with a spirit of deepdevotion. There was quite a rush of people atthe time; he was gazing at Mother’s face andtears streamed down his cheeks. He said to me,—”I find before me what I have never seen inmy whole life. She appears to me to be thevisible embodiment of the Mother of theUniverse.

Kirtan started at 10 A.M. while Mother wasputting vermilion on the foreheads of theassembled ladies. Suddenly the vermilion casedropped from Her hand. Her body sank down

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flat to the ground and began to roll on it; thenShe slowly rose and stood on the two big toesof Her feet. Both hands were raised straight up,Her head slightly tilted to one side and a littlebackwards, and Her radiant eyes stared with asteady gaze towards the far end of the sky.

A little later, She began to move in thatposture. Her body appeared to be filled with aheavenly presence. She paid no heed to Herclothes hanging loosely on Her person. No onehad the power or the inclination to stop Her.Her whole body danced on with measuredbeats in a most delicate way and reached theplace where kirtan was going on; Her bodythen noiselessly melted down as it were, uponthe floor. It rolled on, led by some mysteriouspower, like the dry leaves of a tree movedslowly by a gentle breeze.After some time, while still lying on the floor,very soft, sweet musical strains came from Herlips, ”Harey murare madhukaitabharey ”. Tearsrolled down Her cheeks in an unbroken stream.After some hours She recovered Her normalcondition.

Her glowing face, Her sweet ineffablelooks, Her soft, tender voice brimming overwith emotion, all reminded the peopleassembled of the images of Sri Chaitanya Deva,as described in his biographies. All the physicalchanges observed long long ago in LordGouranga manifested themselves again in Herperson on that occasion.

At dusk when Mother entered the kirtanhall, all the symptoms of the midday trance re-

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appeared. After a lapse of some time, sheuttered words with such clear, soft accents andsweet thrills of divine emotion that theaudiences were speechless with heavenly bliss.After the distribution of sweets at the end of theKirtan Mother Herself distributed prasad [Offering to the deity after the Kirtan is over) withso much grace and elegance and there was suchan expression of divine motherliness in Hermanner, that the people felt Mother Lakshmimust be incarnate in Her body. Shashi Babuand others present realised that day that Mothersbody was but a vehicle for the infinite Grace ofGod.

About that time, Niranjan [ an Income Taxofficer then posted at Dhaka. He hailed from Chittagongdistrict] came to Dhaka as AssistantCommissioner of Income Tax. One evening Iwent to Shah-bag with him, when New-MoonKirtan songs were being sung. As the Kirtanprogressed many changes became visible inMother. She sat up very straight, then her headgradually bent backwards till it touched Herback; hands and feet, twisted and twined till thewhole body fell flat on the floor.

In concord with Her breath, Her body wasthrown into rhythmic surges like waves andwith Her limbs stretched out it rolled on theground in time to the music. Just as the fallenleaves of a tree roll on lightly, blown by thewind, so light and delicate were Hermovements. No human being, in spite of hisbest efforts could have imitated them.Everybody present felt that Mother was

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dancing under the impact of heavenly forces,which moved Her whole being in wave-likethrills. Many tried to stop Her without anysuccess. At last Her movements ceased and Sheremained motionless like a lump of clay. Sheappeared to be steeped in all-permeating, all-pervading Bliss. Her countenance was aglowwith a heavenly light, Her whole bodyoverflowing with Divine Ananda .

Niranjan stood dumb, watching the sightfor the first time in his life and was reciting ahymn in praise of the Goddess of the universe.“To-day,’ he exclaimed, “1 have seen a realGoddess.”

On another occasion there was quite acrowd of people during Kirtan at Shah-bag.Mother went into a state similar to the one justdescribed. But this time She reclined on thefloor from Her sitting posture. Her breath wasalmost suspended; She stretched out Her handsand feet and lay on the ground with Her facedownward. Then She rolled on nimbly in awavelike motion. After a while, like oneoverwhelmed by a great upward urge She rosefrom the ground slowly, without any supportand stood upon Her two big toes, barelytouching the ground . Her breath appeared tohave stopped completely, Her hands were liftedup towards the sky; Her body had only veryslight contact with the ground , Her head wasbent backwards touching Her back, the eyeswere directed towards the mid-sky with aglowing stare. As a wooden doll moves aboutunder the pull of a hidden string held by theoperator behind the screen,

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She stepped along. Her eyes were radiantwith a divine glow, Her face beamed with aheavenly sweet smile and Her lips sparkled withjoy. After a short while, supporting Her wholebody on Her two big toes and keeping timewith the kirtan, She moved like a being of theair, as if the whole weight of Her body wasbeing pulled up by some invisible power fromabove.

She remained in this posture for a longtime. Afterwards Her eyes slowly closed andShe lay on the ground like a hump of flesh, Herhead bent backwards. Next morning at about10 A.M. She came back to Her normal state.

One day there was kirtan at Niranjan’shouse. All the inmates, especially his oldmother, were very eager to see Mother in atrance. The old lady silently prayed to Motherthat she might be blest with the sight. Motherwas lying on the floor in the adjoining room.Suddenly She rushed into the room wherekirtan was in progress and with Her divinelyreposeful voice took part in the song and beganto dance with the party. After a little while Shesank to the ground . On recovering Her usualstate She remained silent for a long time.

Besides the symptoms mentioned here, theemanations from Her mind-body foundexpression in so many ways that it is impossibleto describe them in words. When Her bodyrolled on the floor, it sometimes drew out to anunusual length; at other times it shrank to avery small size; sometimes it rolled itself up intoone round lump of flesh; on a different

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occasion it seemed without bones, bouncinglike a rubber ball as it danced on.

But the speed of all Her movements was ofthe quickness of lightning, which made italmost impossible to follow them even with thekeenest eye.

During that period we felt convinced thatHer body was possessed of divine forces, whichmade it dance in a variety of beautiful poses. Itappeared to be so full of ecstatic joy that eventhe roots of the hairs on Her body swelled,causing them to stand on end. Her complexionturned crimson. All the self-initiatedexpressions of a Divine state appeared to becrowded into the narrow frame of Her bodyand they manifested all the exquisite beauties ofthe Infinite in countless graceful and rhythmicways.

But She looked like one far above,completely detached from all thesemanifestations and untouched by the thrillsbrought about by their interplay. Theyappeared to come naturally through Her bodyfrom some lofty sphere of existence.

One day I asked Mother, —’When yourbody is physically asleep in samadhi [divineecstasy in which all physical and mental functions aresuspended) do you find any Divine Presenceappearing before your vision?‘ Her reply was,— “As I have no fixed aim, there is no need forit; this body does not act with any purpose.Your strong desire to see this body in states ofsamadhi, causes its symptoms to manifest attimes. Whenever any thought reaches its fullintensity, its physical expressions will

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invariably follow. If one loses one’s being inthe contemplation of the Divine Name, one canmerge oneself in the ocean of Heavenly Beauty.God and His symbolic names are one and thesame; as soon as the consciousness of theoutside world disappears, the self-revealingpower of the Name inevitably finds its objectiveexpression.”

During kirtan a supernatural, Divine stateused to come upon Her body. We have heardfrom Her own lips that there was a time whenShe would see fire, water, the sky or someunusual sight. At such times, Her body tendedto become transformed into any of these. In thepresence of a gust of wind She would feel animpulse to let Her body fly away like a rag ofthin cloth; or when She heard a deep prolongedsound of a conch-shell, Her whole body tendedto freeze as it were, and became static like amarble slab. Whenever any thought-wavepassed through Her mind, a correspondingphysical expression swept over Her wholebody.

On one occasion She joined some childrenin their laughing games and began to laugh soheartily that her laughter could not be stoppedeven after an hour’s effort. She paused for aminute or two, only to start laughing again.Though sitting in the same posture, there wasan unearthly expression in Her looks. Many ofthose present were startled by it. After sometime She gradually recovered Her normalcomposure.

Another day She was on Her way to Dhakafrom Calcutta. Many boys and girls, ladies and

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gentlemen came to the station to see Her off.They were all weeping at the prospect of theseparation. Mother too joined them and beganto weep so bitterly that it was impossible to stopHer. A crowd had already gathered. They said,“Most probably the weeping lady is a newlymarried bride who is being taken from herfather’s house to her husband’s.” The impulseof weeping that day continued from noon todusk.

One day She asked me,-—”Where is thecentre of your laughter and crying ?“ My replywas,—”Though all stimulation flows from thebrain, the real centre lies in some vital spot nearthe heart.”

Mother said,—”When there is real feelingbehind your laughter or crying, it seeksexpression through every fibre of your body.” Icould not follow the meaning and kept silent.After a few days I went to the Ashram early inthe morning. I met Mother and was taking awalk with Her. I asked Her,—”Mother, how areyou today ?“ She responded with such anemphasis, “I am very, very well’, that mywhole being from head to foot throbbed anddanced with the vibration of Her words and Ihalted on the way suddenly, almost losingmyself.

Mother noticed my confusion and said,—”Do you realise now where lies the centre ofour laughter and weeping? When any feeling orthought is expressed by only one part of ourbody, its full force does not come into play.”

I have heard from Mother’s lips that whenall the thoughts of the devotee flow in one

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stream towards God, all the sense objects comeunder its influence. At that stage even the fall ofa leaf from a tree creates ripples in the field ofhis consciousness. During the earlier stages ofMother’s life whatever happened in the outsideworld found response in Her naturespontaneously.

After Her deep trance as soon as Motherrecovered Her normal serenity, many yogicactivities manifested themselves automatically;at that time one could hear some indistincthumming sound emanating from Her. A littlelater rumbling notes like the surging of sea-waves lashed by a storm followed; thereafter anuninterrupted, supremely melodious flow ofdivine truths emerged from Her lips in theshape of numerous Sanskrit hymns. It seemedthat from the eternal sky divine truths weretaking shape in sound symbols throughMother’s speech. Such flawless pronunciation,such free flow of melody touching the inmostcore of the listeners, received added charm fromthe Divine radiance of Her face. Even learnedVedic scholars could hardly have acquired Herfree and easy mode of expression in spite oftheir best training and practice.

The richness of meaning in all thesespontaneous utterances of Mother has been asurprise to savants; the language, in which theverses were couched, could not easily becomprehended and therefore it was not possibleto write them down fully and accurately.

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Four such sacred hymns that could be takendown in parts have been recorded. Weapproached Mother for verification andcorrection. Her reply was,—”There is no traceof them now in my mind; they will be attendedto later if necessary.

One of the four hymns is: {This entire passage is in Sankrit in theDevanagari script.)

Note: On the 20th of Vaisakh 1336 Mother left

the Ramna Ashram having stayed there for24 hours after the installation of the deity. Shewas dressed in a sari only. Just at that timethis hymn came from Her lips. She asked Herdevotees to write it down. She was in anecstaticcondition then and only a portion ofthe hymn could be transcribed. One cannotvouch for its correctness. But She gavepermission to sing it to the accompanimentof musical instruments before starting Kirtan.

The translation is given below: ‘Thou art the Light of the universe and itscontrolling and guiding spirit. Do thou appearin our midst! From Thee a cobweb of worlds isspreading out at every moment. Thou art thedispeller of all fears; do Thou appear before us!Thou art the seed of the universe; Thou art theBeing in whom I reside. Thou art present in thehearts of all these devotees. Do thou, whom I

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find present before me, banish the fears of allcreated beings. Thou art the embodiment of allgods and much more. Thou hast come out ofme and I am the epitome of the created world.Let us contemplate the very Foundation of thisuniverse, through Whom the world seeksliberation. Thou standest on Thy own eternalbasic nature. Thou hast come out of thePranava the seed-word and base of allexistence and the truth of all. The Vedas are butsparks from They eternal Light. Thou dostsymbolise the heavenly couple, Kama andKameshvari who are dissolved together in all-permeating Bliss Supreme and signified byNada and Bindu when differentiated forkeeping up Thy Lila. Do Thou dispel the fearsof the world!

“I seek refuge in Thee. Thou. art my shelterand final resting place. Draw Thou my wholebeing into Thine. As the Deliverer Thou dostappear in two forms—the liberator and thedevotee seeking liberation. By me alone are allcreated in my own image; by me all are sentinto the world; and in me all find final refuge. Iam the final cause indicated in the Vedas byPranava ( Om kara) I am Mahamaya andMahabhava all in one. Devotion to me is thecause of Moksha (liberation). All are mine. Tome Rudra owes all his powers and the self-sameI sing to the glory of Rudra, who becomesmanifest in all actions and in their causes”.

From this translation it will be evident thatMother’s thought-body has expressed itself inspeech for the welfare, peace and progress ofthe world. Her boundless love and compassion

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for all living beings radiates in all directions andShe sits Supreme at the centre embracing theuniverse.

In connection with these hymns, Mothersaid on one occasion, “The one Eternal Word isthe prime cause of the universe; with theevolution of that ever-abiding Word , theprogress of the material life of creation goes onin parallel lines.”

During that phase of Mother’s life whenmany such hymns were revealed, Her voicesometimes became as sharp and piercing as asword; at other times it was as soothing as theevening zephyr; and on certain days it breatheda power full of tranquility and deep bliss likethe influence of the full-moon sky at midnight.With the changes in Her tunes the expression ofHer eyes and face underwent correspondingtransformations.

On some occasions hymns were revealedthrough Her lips accompanied by an unceasingflow of tears; a wonderfully bright, soothingsmile with an alternate play of laughter andweeping, like that of sunshine and rain, gaveHer blissful face a heavenly charm and serenity.When the singing of those hymns was over,She would either remain silent for a long timeor lie down on the floor in a posture of inmostabsorption.

YOGIC POWER

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Mother has said that for some time Herbody went through a stage during which thevarious Yogic poses (Asanas, Mudras etc.)manifested themselves naturally. They alsooften appeared when She was in seclusion,away from the sight of men. In this connectionMother stated on one occasion,—”Just as youhave to keep a seed in darkness under a thinlayer of earth exposed to light and air before itshoots forth sprouts, so also behind all the usualexternal activities of a devotee, many subtlechanges come quite unnoticed upon him,through the influence of invisible powers.

At times, Her hands, feet and neck bentwith such a stiff twist that there seemed to be nopossibility of their regaining their normalpositions.

On one occasion, Mother said, “Such a haloof light

flashed from this body that all the spacearound it was illumined. That light graduallyseemed to melt away enveloping the universe.”In that condition She would cover up Herwhole body with an extra piece of cloth and fora long time retire to a solitary corner of thehouse, away from the sight of men.

During this period Her body emanated sucha divine power that at Her glance people forgotall about themselves and were steeped inheavenly delight; when touching Her feet somewould even fall unconscious. The places onwhich She would lie or sit became intenselyheated.

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At Dhaka I have myself witnessed Motherin various yogic poses. At times Her breath waseither suspended altogether for a long time orbecame so feeble or fluctuating that we wereafraid Her life would be extinct throughsuffocation.

One day, when I showed Her illustrationsof some yogic poses in a book, She pointed outcertain defects in them regarding specificpositions of the feet, thigh, head and other partsof the body.

Those people who have been fortunateenough to be near Her for some time, musthave noticed how She would sit in a particularposture for several hours together without theslightest movement, or relapse into absolutesilence in the midst of conversation. In thiscondition Her body became inert like a statue,Her eyes unwinking and steady, directed to theremotest corner of the sky, and Her appearancedelightfully sweet and serene. In all these statesit was quite evident that her soul was steeped inSupreme Bliss, while Her physical body wasperforming mechanically the daily round ofduties of Her social life. During those states ofabsorption in the Divine, She felt neitherhunger or thirst, nor extremes of heat and cold,unless special attention was drawn to them.Even after physical consciousness dawned onHer, She took much time to regain Her normalcondition.

We have also noticed on several occasionsthat if, during those phases of self- absorption,She was left to Herself for some dayscontinuously, She would often forget how to

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talk, walk or laugh or even to distinguishbetween differentarticles of food and drink. Many people desireto witness instances of Her occult powers. Tothem I would suggest that they should spend afew days near Her and realize the wonderfulspiritual influences that radiate from Her atevery moment, by which even the most barrenhearts would blossom forth in a new lease oflife. By Her natural will to secure the welfare ofall sentient beings, people are imperceptiblyguided into the ways of Her expansive spirituallife.

One afternoon I went to Shah-bag withNiranjan. Mother and Bholanath were seated.Some pictures had been drawn on the floor.Bholanath said,—’Your Mother has drawnthese figures of the solar plexuses in the humanbody.” On hearing this She said

“While walking about at noon, I sat downhere in a yogic posture when I observed somelotus-like vital centres from the highest centre inthe brain right down along the spinal cord to itslowest end, a few inches apart from each other.I saw clearly that from the lowest tip of thespinal cord upwards (muladharar urdhwam] therelay many finer and finer centres, of which onlythe six chief-ones have been drawn here. I havenot drawn them deliberately my hand hasautomatically moved about on the floor andthese pictures are the result of those movements.

“You should note that through these vitalareas of interlacing nerves, function theinherited impulses, acquired dispositions,emotions, various urges, thought-cycles and

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notions of life and death etc. which find theirway downwards from the highest brain-centre,in response to the stimulation from all the senseorgans. Streams of life and of vital fluid courseswiftly or slowly through those channels andguide the life-processes and thought-currents ofman. Just as you find that earth, water, fire, airand the space beyond the atmosphere,interpenetrate one another, so also ~these sixchief centres lie inside the body apparently oneabove the other, but functioning in mutualinterdependence as one vital chain. A littlereflection will convince you that the play of lifegoes on in the upper centres of your bodywhen your thoughts are pure and full of bliss.Just as you find that springs of water lying atthe bottom of a well or a tank keep up aconstant supply, or just as the sap of plant-lifelies underground deep down about the roots, soat the lowest end of the spinal cord (muladharah] lies asleep the fountain of the giant vital forcesderived ultimately from the sun, from whereissue forth the streams of your life. When withgreat patience and sanctity you strive to purifyyour inner and outer vehicles, the resultingvibrations of your thoughts strike ever higherand higher centres, releasing their tension,freeing the pent-up life force at the lowest centretoseek outlets upwards. Then all the lethargy,primal urges and samskaras of the devoteegradually fade away like mists before the sun’srays; along with the unleashing of the block,our attachment to the objects of the senses

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begins to relax, and the inner life starts takingshape.

“When the upward drive of the life-forcereaches the vital centre at the parting of theeyebrows, the inner stream of the vital fluidflows with ease and purity quite evenly all overthe human system, with the result that thedevotee comes to realise something of thenature of the ego, the world and creation. If aman continues in this stage for long, all hisprenatal, inherited dispositions and urgesgradually become weaker and weaker; his mindreaches ever higher and higher levels ofcontemplation, ever deeper centres of the life-force.

“When the devotee reaches beyond thehighest vital centre which is situated betweenthe eye brows, (dvidala or twin-petalled chakra] his mental powers merge in the supra-mental,his ego dissolves in Mahabhava [ a state of deeplove for the Divine] and he finds his eternal refugein Swarupa

[Supreme reality of the Atma) He then goes intoSamadhi a state of perpetual bliss.

As the different vital centres begin to openup, different sounds are perceived inwardly andthe devotee comes to feel the sounds ofconches, bells, flutes etc. all merging in the cosmic rhythm of one great voice of infinitesilence. At that stage no thought or object of theoutside world can distract his attention. As headvances, his being gets dissolved in the

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bottomless depth of that blissful music thatpervades the whole universe and he findseternal repose.”

Two or three years after this statement ofMother I showed Her the pictures of six vitalcentres published in Justice Woodroffe ’s“Serpent Power.” Mother did not even glance atthem and said, laughing, heartily :—“Listen towhat this body tells you.” She then describedeach centre, the nature of the lotuses, theircolour and the number of petals with thecorresponding Yantras - and Man tras. I foundthat the pictures in the book accuratelyrepresented what Mother described.

She added, “I have not read about thesecentres in any book, nor have I ever beforeheard anything about them from anyone. Thedescription I gave, is from my actualexperience.” On further enquiry, She replied,“The colours of those vital centres that you findin the pictures are but their external tinge. Thesame substance of which our brain is made alsoforms these plexuses, but their shapes,structures and functions vary; each one has itsspecial characteristics and distinctive qualitieslike the eye, or the ear of the navel or even thelines on the palms of your hands. In them thereis the ever-changing play of various coloursand sounds and their symbols called Mantras[ Beej or seed mantra] ,—all being the naturalresults of the movement of the life-force and theflow of the vital fluid. During the earlier stages,when various mantras issued from these lipsaccompanied by transformations of the breath,

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at times questions like “What are these?“flashed across my mind. The reply came fromwithin and the inner structure of all those solarplexuses became distinctly visible to me like thepictures you have put before me. When aperson regularly prays, performs pujas andyogic practices, meditates and reflects on thehigher truths of existence with sufficientconcentration and steadiness, the mindsubstance gets purified, thoughts becomerefined and the centres unfold themselves;otherwise no human being can find an escapefrom the storm and stress of physical urges likelust, greed and anger.”One day Mother went to Siddhesvari ashramwith all who were present. That place was thenin a very neglected condition. An altar wasthere about i~ cubit square and ~ cubit inheight. Mother sat upon it. All the devotees sataround silently and- absorbed in their ownthoughts. Her body gradually shrank so muchin size that everybody had the impression thatonly Her sari was left on the altar. Nobodycould see Her. All were wondering what wouldhappen next. Gradually there was a stirunderneath the cloth and very slowly andgently a body took shape and She appeared,sitting straight up. For nearly half an hour Shelooked towards the sky with a steadfast gazeand said,— “For your life’s work you have brought downthis body.”Mother says,—”Just as a paper-kite flies highup into the sky, relying on a fine thread, theyogi relying upon his life breath and a slender

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thread of samskara can float in the air; he canshrink his physical body into a speck of dust orassume an enormous size or can even vanishout of sight.”

We have heard that many people gotinitiation from Mother in the dream-state, whileothers got flowers along with mantras and haveactually found those flowers when roused fromsleep. But none of us have ever known Motherto directly initiate a devotee.

We have also heard from many people thatin their own homes far away from Mother, theywere startled to find Mother’s figure actuallypresent before their eyes for a very brief period.

While I was at Dhaka seriously ill with anattack of acute T.B., Mother was in North-Western India. When She returned to Dhaka,She said to me ”At midnight on two particulardates this body entered your room by aparticular door of your house and went out byanother. Your condition n those two days wasvery critical.”

On referring to the account-book where thedaily expenses including doctor’s fees andmedical charges were entered, it was discoveredthat on those two days doctors had actuallybeen called at night.

There were also cases when Mother passedby a group of men, but only one or two ofthem could see Her. She says, “I am everpresent with you all, but you have littleyearning to see me. What can I do ? Know itfor certain, I have my eyes fixed on what youdo or omit doing”.

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On one occasion Mother was to get into thetrain at Goalando. The doorstep of the train wasvery high from the platform. There wasrheumatic stiffness in Her right arm then. Whenat Her bidding Gurupriya Devi caught hold ofHer left hand and pulled Her up into thecompartment, Mother’s body appeared to be aslight as a baby’s. On some occasions on theother hand, it was found to be awfully heavy.

Mother tells us that whether moving aboutor resting, nothing produces any change in Her.She is ever wide-awake. Sometimes after risingfrom Her bed She says that She has seen certainincidents happening in a particular place;subsequent inquiry confirms the truth of Herstatements.

I used to see Mother by my side either like aflash of lightning or like a shadowy, steadyfigure; sometimes it took on a definitecondensed form and moved about, makingchanges in my environment which lasted evenafter its disappearance.

Towards the end of 1930, Mother wasstaying at Cox’s Bazaar, some 300 miles awayfrom Dhaka. At Dhaka I was sitting on my bedduring the early hours of the morning thinkingof Mother. I heard Her whisper, “Erect a templewithin the ashram area.”

I started up when I heard it. I knew thatMother never commands anybody to doanything. I mused and mused over it. Suchwhispers must have come from Mother, Ipresumed. But a doubt crossed my mind, “Whyshould Mother’s whispers be so indistinct?”Her normal voice was distinct, clear-cut,

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resonant, lively. But when I wrote a letter toCox’s Bazaar I came to learn that Mother hadbeen observing silence for a few days and onthat particular morning at 8 a. m. She hadbegun to talk. When Mother returned to DhakaI was informed that She had begun to murmursome words much earlier in the morning, butfew people could distinguish them. Afterhearing that command from Mother, theconstruction of the temple was taken up in rightearnest.

She always says that She can see theethereal bodies of many saints who died long,long ago. One day She remarked, “Just as youall are sitting around me, there are manydisembodied spirits crowding over there. Theyare as real as yourselves.”

She also says that She can see the variousshapes which different diseases possess. Whenthey seek admittance into Her body, they areallowed free scope. “Since there is but One Lifein this universe, diseases are neither called norsent away by me. Just as you all are a source ofAnandam to me, they too give me equal joy.”

In May 1929, Mother left Dhaka, but forsome reasons many obstacles hampered Herfree passage; when She came back to Dhaka inthe month of August, She had fever. Manysupernatural symptoms began to appear in Herbody. She commanded that Her body shouldbe allowed to take up various asanas, sittingdown or lying flat on the ground , according toits spontaneous urges. For full one hour thiswent on. Mother said afterwards, all those hadbeen yogic postures. Seeing these

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manifestations people feared that She mightgive up Her body. Afterwards her limbs werefound to be lacking in cohesion: whetherstanding or sitting all Her limbs would hangdown loosely and could not move unless theywere properly supported. Along with thesereactions She had high fever, looseness of thebowels, passing blood with stools and urineand all symptoms of dropsy. Four or five dayspassed in this way when BramachariniGurupriya Devi implored Her, “Mother, wecannot manage the nursing of your body; havecompassion on us.” After this prayer, theflabbiness of Her body disappeared, but thefever and other symptoms continued as before:for five or six more days. Sixty to seventybucketfuls of water were poured over Her head,between 11 A.M. and 5 p.m. But thetemperature never came down. Still She wouldnot take any medicine. A Kaviraj was called in,who examined Her and said,—”We can treatordinary human beings, but the ways of Motherare totally different.” Finding Her prostrate onthe sickbed, all the devotees became deeplyanxious and prayed to Her to heal Her ownbody.

On the following morning Mother said,“Prepare a rice dish for this body.” She, whohad been laid up with high fever and dropsy,quite prostrate almost without any movementcontinuously for seventeen or eighteen days,was prescribing for Herself Her normal diet ofrice, dal and vegetables! Everybody was struckwith surprise.

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However, according to Her directions rice,dal, and vegetables were prepared; three or fourpersons were busy keeping Her body inposition and putting food into her mouth. Sheate a small quantity of each dish. Manyapprehended some serious complications as aresult of such a diet after protracted fever. ButShe recovered gradually.

Referring to the physical disorder describedabove, Mother said on one occasion: -“Thisbody moves in tune with Nature, its naturalcourse must have somehow been thwarted fromits normal functioning. To make you realise theunhappy consequences of causing obstructionto its natural urges, the derangements of all itsvital functions became manifest. Had there beenany actual disease this body would have eitherperished altogether or been disabled.

“While lying in bed, I was not conscious ofany discomfort or uneasiness. I felt as if in astate of health. Amidst your anxiousmovements to and fro and the changes goingon within this body I was aware of a symphonyof music and delight.”

From all Her actions it appears that Nature,obedient to Her will, as it were, helps Her bodyto function. My conviction is that if we payproper heed to the natural expressions of Herwill, refrain from disturbing the atmosphereabout Her with the ripples of our individuallikes and dislikes, and carry out implicitly whatShe says, we can enjoy boundless happiness bywitnessing the beautiful functioning of HerWill; at the same time we shall have the good

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fortune of obtaining many opportunities forself-culture.

In our childhood we played with dollsfollowing our whims; we built tiny houses ofsand and clay to satisfy our momentary pleasureand then turned to new toys; even now we areplaying the same game in our dealings withMother with equal thoughtlessness andimpulse. At times such apprehensions crowdupon my mind.

At the Vindhyachal ashram in the course ofconversation Mother said to BrahmachariKamalakanta, “Even after so many years veryfew people realise what I wish; if they did, suchthoughtless questions as, “What do you want ?What is your wish?“ would never be asked.One must sincerely try to understand me asmuch as lies within the range of one s capacityand in order to grasp what I want, one mustshake one’s mind free from self-pride, desire forfame and glory, from anger and sorrow, fromself-conceit and finally from self-will whichleads a man to feel that he is a free agent in allhis actions”.

If under Her stirring influence we couldconstantly purify ourselves by followingsilently what She enjoins us to do, we wouldhave realised our mission by finding in ourown lives an opportunity to see the glory ofHer Universal Motherhood.

One day I was having a walk with Motheron the Ramna ground . She did not speak. Irealised that the spirit of absolute silence hadcome upon Her. She came back after walkingabout aimlessly for some time. For eight to ten

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days She was absolutely mute. No songs,gestures or suggestions, not even a smileemanated from Her. She used to sit quietlyabsorbed in Her own inner self. If anybodyspoke to Her, Her eyes or attention were notdrawn to it. She sat self-contained like the statueof the Lord Buddha. When eating Her lipsparted only a little, to close again shortly aftertaking a very small morsel. During this state ofsilence it appeared that all Her connection withthe outer world was completely cut off. Aftereight or ten days She began to mumble a fewbroken words. We had the impression that Shewas again re-learning to use Her vocal organsand to recover the power of speech. Thuspassed three days when She gradually resumedHer normal way of speaking. I had the goodfortune of seeing Mother twice or thrice insimilar states.

During these phases of silence Herreposeful appearance. Her solid but serenecomposure, Her gracious looks and glowingface, all roused our love and reverence. Themore one gazed at Her with wistful eyes, thegreater would one’s desire grow to look at Herface. At first, after Her marriage, when Motherkept silent for three years, many would expresstheir sorrow thinking that She was absolutelydumb, and say, “Alas, it is a pity, a grossinjustice of God; He has made this beautiful girldumb, though He has bestowed upon Her allthe best virtues of womanhood .”

Mother says, “If you desire to observe realsilence, your heart and mind must fuse soclosely, into one thought that your whole

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nature, inwardly and outwardly may freeze, asit were, into the condition of an inert stone. Butif you merely want to abstain from speech, it isa different matter altogether.”

Four pictures of Mother’s yogic poses areavailable. The first picture has been discussed inthe first chapter; the second one was taken aftera long spell of illness. But when the third andthe fourth pictures were taken, She at first sat ina natural way, but the expressions of thesupramental state of absorption came upon Herlater.

STATE OF SAMADHI

When Mother was approached with aprayer to let us know the various stages ofsadhana , She indicated four levels

(i) Concentration of intellectual powers on afocal point. It is like setting fire to dry fuel.When wet wood has been dried by the heat offire, the flames blaze up brightly, Similarlywhen by the force of contemplation of theDivine, our mind is released from the mist andmoisture of desires and passions it becomeslight. It is a condition of mental purity whichinduces in certain cases a state of silent merginginto a particular mood or into an excess ofemotion and agitation beyond one’s power of

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control. All these moods emanate from onesupreme existence but only in specialdirections.

(ii) Concentration of one’s emotionalpowers. It brings in a state of bodily inertness,of absorption in one holy sentiment arising outof one, indivisible supra-mental state. At thislevel the body may be likened to a burntcharcoal with the fire apparently gone out. Inthis state the devotee passes hours together in astate of outer inertness; but in the core of hisheart surges up an unceasing current of sublimeemotion. When this state matures the sentimentdraws mighty powers from the All-Soul, andjust as a vessel overflows when too much wateris poured into it, it spreads out over the wideworld in a mighty sweep under the intensepressure of expansiveness.

(iii) Fusion of the inner and outer life. Thisstate is just like that of a burning coal. Firepervades every atom of the inner and outersheaths; —all are aglow with one Divine Light.The devotee lives, moves and has his being inone blissful ocean of Light.

(iv) Full concentration, when the devoteeloses all consciousness of duality—of thefunctioning of the three gunas [ trigunas] . It islike the state of coal burnt to ashes. There is nodistinction. of the inner and the outer, of hereand there it is a state of absorption in theSupreme, of All-Oneness. Vibrations ofthought , feeling or willing vanish altogether. Itresembles the perfect tranquility of a sleepinglake under a blue sky.

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Mother’s samadhi presents a wonderfulsight: it was my extreme good luck to be ableto witness such sarnadhi several times. I notebelow some of my experiences.

On some days while walking about orsitting in the room after casually entering it orafter laughing and speaking a few words, Hereyes became wide open with a vacant stare andall Her limbs relaxed in such a supernaturalway that Her body seemed to melt down on thefloor as it were.

We could observe then that like the softgolden disc of the setting sun all the brightnessof Her normal manners and expressions fadedaway little by little from Her countenance intosome mysterious depths. A short while later Herbreathing slowed down sometimes stoppingaltogether, Her speech ceased completely, Hereyes remained closed. Her body grew cold;sometimes Her hands and feet became as stiff aslogs of wood; sometimes they hung downloosely like pieces of rope,—failing flat in anydirection one would place them.

Her face glowed with a crimson hue due tothe intensity of inner Anandam : Her cheeksshone with a heavenly light; Her foreheadlooked bright and serene with a divine calm.All her physical expressions were suspended;yet from every pore of Her body radiated anuncommon glow—a mute eloquence of silent,inner speech. Every body present felt thatMother was sinking into the depths of divinecommunion . Thus passed some ten to twelvehours and then efforts were made to bring Her

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back to the physical plane with kirtan and thelike, but all in vain.

I myself failed to rouse Her from that stateof self-absorption. There was no responsewhatsoever when rubbing Her hands or feethard, and even pricking them with sharp points.Her consciousness came back when the propertime arrived. It did not depend on any externalstimulus.

When Mother came back to physicalconsciousness, Her breath returned and becamedeeper and deeper; along with it revived all themovements of Her limbs. On certain days, ashort while after such an awakening Her bodyrelapsed once more into its former inertcondition and tended, as it were, to freeze againinto the state of samadhi. When the eyelidswere opened with finger-tips, there was a vacantunresponsive stare in Her eyes, and the lidssoon closed again automatically.

When a series of symptoms of Her revivalinto normal life became manifest, She washelped to a sitting posture and by calling out toHer loudly, attempts were made to awaken Herto the world of sense and induce Her to speak.In this twilight condition of consciousness, Sheresponded to the call of the outside world onlyfor a brief spell of time, again to sink back intothe inmost depth of her being. In this state ittook much time for Her to recover Her normalcondition.

On one occasion after such a spell ofsamadhi, She was made to walk with greatdifficulty. After taking a mouthful of food, Her

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body relapsed into an unconscious, inertcondition for several hours.

But when after samadhi She recovered Hernormal state. Her whole body appeared to besuffused with joy. On the threshold ofreawakening, sometimes She would eitherlaugh, or laugh and weep at the same time.

During sarnadhi Her face lost all freshnessof life: the body appeared to be very frail andweak and in Her general appearance there wasno expression whatever of either joy or pain. Inthat state it took Her much longer to recoverHer former self. In 1930, when She came toRamna ashram, She often appeared to have lostall signs of life during samadhi and passed fouror five days together without any response toany outside stimulus. During the whole phase,from the beginning of the sarnadhi to its end,there was no indication that She had life orcould ever recover it., Her, body became ascold as ice and remained cold for a long timeafter consciousness returned.

After recovering Her full consciousnesswhen She was asked how She had felt duringsamadhi, She would only reply,—”It is a statebeyond all conscious and supraconsciousplanes—a state of complete immobilization ofall thoughts, emotions and activities, bothphysical and mental—a state that transcends allthe phases of life here below. What you callsavikalpa sarnadhi, is also but a means to reachthat final objective—it is only a passing stage inyour sadhana .

‘Deep concentration on any one of the fiveelementals of sense, sound, touch, smell, taste

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and sight derived chiefly from air, earth, wateretc. leads a man to merge his identity into it andas concentration deepens, the body as it were,gradually freezes with it. Then that specialobject of sense pervades his whole being andhis ego gradually dissolves in it and coalesceswith one Universal Entity. When this conditionsettles down, the consciousness of OneUniversal Self too melts away and what thenhappens, no words, no expression or feelingcan convey.

At times without any noticeable cause,many abnormal symptoms became visible onHer person. Her breath became deep andprolonged; Her whole body would twist rightor left with an expression of languor andfatigue- She would then lie down on the flooror roll up Her body like a bundle. She hadphysical consciousness at that time and whenany question was put to Her, She wouldrespond with one or two words in a very faintsoft voice.

On enquiry we learnt from Her later thatwhile She was in this condition She would feela fine threadlike upward current of life flowingfrom the lower end of the spinal cord right upto the topmost centre in the brain and alongwith it, a thrill of joy would run through everyfibre of Her body and even through the poresof Her hair. She would feel at that time thatevery particle of Her physical frame danced as itwere with infinite ripples of bliss. Whatever Shetouched or saw appeared to Her to be a vitalpart of Herself. Her physical body graduallyceased to function.

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At this time if Her backbone was massagedor the joints of Her body were rubbed for along time, She would remain quiet for sometime and recover Her normal condition. It wasat this stage that She was found to be brimmingover with blissful joy and Her looks had all theindications of one lost in universal love.

In the midst of the routine of everyday life,while Mother was lying down, smiling andtalking to people that came to see Her, it wasfound that Her limbs had become ice-cold, Hernails and toes blue. Even by vigorous massagethe stiffness of Her limbs could not be lessened,although the hands of those who rubbed Herlimbs became benumbed with cold. One day ittook Her nearly twelve hours to recover Hernormal warmth.

One evening, just at dusk, Mother waslying in a state of sarnadhi . Our Didima wason the bed by Her side. Pitaji was also in theroom. At about 2 A.M. I was seated on theverandah meditating on Mother’s lotus feet. Ifelt a thrilling sensation in my heart producedby the sound of Mother’s footsteps. I openedmy eyes and could not notice anything. I heardsome feeble sound inside the room. When I leftmy seat I noticed two tiny foot-prints ofMother’s wet feet.

On entering the room I found Mother inbed. I enquired from Didima (Mother’s mother)if Mother had gone out; the reply was, “no”.The night passed. Next morning She was onthe plane of consciousness for a brief interval.Though She recovered Her sense on the

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following day it took three or four days more toregain Her normal ways of life.

A few days later I said to Mother, “I haveheard that during sarnadhi it is not possible foranybody to move about in his physical body;how was it that I noticed two of your footprintson the floor that night?

Mother said, “Is it possible for man toexplain all things in words ?“ and resumedsilence.

On one occasion, I asked Mother,—”Whatare the signs of a sadhaka ? (one who strives hardfor spiritual uplift) Mother said, “When a devoteereaches a certain level of mental purity, he maybehave like a child, or become unresponsive toworldly stimuli like a clot of inert matter, orviolate all canons of social life like one insane,orat times be swayed by flashes of higher thoughtor emotion and pass for a saint. But through allthese varying modes of life his aim remainsfixed upon his central target. If at this stage heforgets his final aim his progress is arrestedthere.

“But if with intense effort he strives on andon towards his goal, all his activities will centerround his supreme objective. You will alwaysfind that even though he looks like a mass ofinert matter, quite indifferent to external stimuli,he is full of cheerfulness and bliss as soon as heregains physical consciousness. Gradually asthis joyous mood settles down in him all hisrelationship with men and things becomesimbued with a spirit of joy and happiness, so asto make him lovable and adorable to all. His

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inner and outer life becomes an expression ofthe One Supreme Bliss.

“At the next stage the devotee reaches a

level where even the concept of oneuniversal existence melts away. Then hisway of life cannot be explained by ordinarycanons of human reasoning. In thiscondition all the vibrations of his mind-body are suspended and there is everylikelihood of the soul departing from themortal frame. But if there is a residue ofstrong samskara (Persistent desire acquired fromthis and previous births to alleviate the sufferings ofhumanity) to secure human welfare, he maylive for a certain period longer. Yet heremains unchanged under all circumstancesof life. Although we think he is subject tochange, simply because he retains his body.“The only difference between such a

devotee and the yogi who gives up his body, isthat the latter leaves his body by his own effortof will. Even at the moment of exit from thephysical, he retains the consciousness that hehas a body which he is leaving, whereas theman who gives up his mortal frame in absolutesamadhi [complete withdrawal into the universal cosmicsoul] is neither conscious of an individual bodynor of any effort to give it up. The samskarasabout life and death cease to function in hissoul and as soon as the karma of his past livesis worked out, the body naturally drops off.”

On another occasion, Mother said in thecourse of conversation

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“(i) Purity of heart and mind comes throughconcentration on one unit of thought or ideaaccording to one’s particular disposition.

(ii) Gradually as a man progresses, all hisother scattered ideas come to be unified withthis one object.

(iii) Next when various streams of thoughtflow along the same channel, the devoteebecomes apparently motionless and inert.

(iv) Thereafter he finds a resting-place in theOne Universal Being and is engulfed in oneunitary existence.”

Ordinarily Mother does not say these thingsto all men; She sometimes stops suddenly in thecourse of conversation. She is usuallysurrounded by many bhakta . What She uttersfor their welfare cannot always be recorded andmany of Her ideas are not intelligible toeveryone.

Her instructions are of a universal typemeant for all men, yet their real import is notalways comprehended by people like us. Still,when some of Her words illumine the mind ofa particular person, what he realises by his ownlimited knowledge, finds expression in his lifeaccording to his own capacity to move forward.It is not easy to imagine how infinitely variousare the streams of water flowing from theHimalayas to the plains of India throughglaciers, cataracts, rivers, streamlets and springs,enriching and fertilising many sterile tracts.Although the Himalayas do not lose anythingby sending out these perpetual streams, thewelfare of the world is being secured by them.

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It is similar in the case of Mother and Herdevotees.

We hardly find words to express thechanges that little by little are coming upon usat every moment of our lives, through Hercontact, Her suggestions, words and smiles.There is a false impression amongst us that ifwe try to express how Her blessings havemoulded many little incidents of our everydaylife, we shall be belittling Her Infinite Grace orInfluence. But I am inclined to feel that by suchefforts we should only be singing hymns to Herglory as well as advance our spiritual uplift inno small measure. At the same time it would bea way of linking our grateful souls to Her Graceat every moment of our lives. MOTHERANDHER PLAYFUL ROLE

Whoever has watched Mother’s bright faceever radiant with a smile, Her childlikesimplicity, Her playful jokes flowing from aheart ever brimming over with joy, must havebeen charmed beyond measure. In all Herwords and expressions, in Her every glance andgesture a sweetness reigns, the like of whichcannot be found anywhere else. A divineperfume always emanates from Her body, fromHer every breath and from Her clothes andbedding. When She sings, divine thoughts andideas well up from the inmost fountain of ourhearts.

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Completely free from all ties, She lives a lifeof perfect detachment. Like the serene blue skyabove, far away from the world below, yetshedding its calm serenity over the things ofthis earth, and producing heavenly reflectionsupon lakes and tanks as well as upon a smallbowl of water, She envelopes all created thingsand draws them closer and closer to Her heart.She recognizes the play of one absolute life inthe peoples of all races and creeds, in everyanimal and plant and looking upon all beingsas ripples of one universal bliss, She treats themwith equal love, regard and sanctity. Nodistinction of high and low, rich and poorcolours Her vision.

Mother always says,-—’There is nothingnew for me to see, hear or say’. Still we findthat even the commonest trifles absorb Herattention to a degree that makes one inclined tocompare Her to a child enchanted with a lovelydoll.

There is no end to Her playful frolics withHer devotees. On one occasion they desired tosee Her dressed up as Sri Krishna as a boy andalso as a youth on the threshold of adolescence.The devotees combined to dress Her up. Thereare two pictures showing the two differentroles-[ See the Bengali edition of Matri Darshan] Howstriking are the expressions of Mother in thosetwo different poses. The beauty of Her facereveals the charm of Sri Krishna as a child andwhen growing into a youth. It is reallyinconceivable from what hidden source such adivine glow shone forth to give Her looks somuch tenderness, Her forehead such a peaceful

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and gracious expression, Her face such a haloof purity and sweetness, and Her limbs suchlight suppleness. It is not only uncommon butsupernatural and beyond all precedents.

A photo of Her smiling face as boy SriKrishna is seen. In Her hearty laugh every fibreof Her being joined and danced, as it were.Those who were present at the time could seethe glow of sacred light that illumined Herfigure; such a pure, hearty laugh could hardlybe found in a human being. The photographvery imperfectly discloses only a fraction of Heractual expression.

Wherever Mother goes, Her presence carriesan exquisite sweetness pervading the thoughtsand ideas of people flocking around Her.Whatever might be the nature of one’sthoughts, one feels pleasantly surprised to findone’s mind being purified and refined by Hersubtle influence. The sight of Sri Krishnaawakened motherly affection in Yashoda ,friendly feelings in Sri Krishna and Sudamaand selfless love in the hearts of the milkmaidsof Brajadharn . Mother’s presence too inducesdifferent phases of devotional love andadoration in different souls.

From Her very infancy She has beenplaying upon the main springs of human life.Her comrades knew no joy without Hercompany. Whoever came in touch with her,children, youths or old people, were socharmed that they often would ask whenparting, ‘When shall we meet again?“Wherever She happens to be, a joyousmultitude assembles; a wave of intoxicating

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delight stirs hundreds and thousands of menand women with a new inspiration and theirsouls dance, as it were, in response to Her sweetwords and expressions. The moment She leavesa place, it feels empty. It was also noticed thatpeople who, seeing Her disheveled, clotted hair,her slovenly dress and careless ways, came tolook upon Her as an erratic woman and tried toavoid Her presence, yet in spite of themselvescould not take their eyes off Her.

Countless and manifold are the uncommonpowers that are constantly manifestingthemselves through Her playful activities.When She was questioned about them, Sheused to say, “This body is always in the samemood, without any change whatever. Yourattitude alone leads you to consider anyparticular phase as ordinary or extraordinary.”She added, —”The universe is a Divine Play,you have a desire to play, and hence in all theplayful activities of this physical body,—in itssmiles and frolics,—you interpret its waysaccording to your own light. Had it assumed agrave motionless posture, you would havestayed away from me. Learn to mergeyourselves in Divine Joy, in all itsmanifestations and you will reach the final goalof all play. Do you understand?”

What is beyond the experience of theordinary person is called extraordinary. To himwho has dissolved all thoughts and emotionsinto the one absolute, supreme bliss of Atman,which sometimes takes on the role of anindividual being, sometimes of Iswara orSupreme Ruler of the Universe or sometimes of

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the impersonal absolute Para-Brahrnan, —allthese phases are but the casual manifestations ofone self-initiated Divine Play. Mother has nodesires, no likes or dislikes. Sometimessupernatural powers play their part in arousingdevotional attitudes or awakening piousthoughts in Her devotees. Sometimes theirextremely prayerful attitude inducescorresponding manifestations in Her simplebehaviour. Mother says, “This body is like adrum; just as you will beat it, it will produce acorresponding sound. I find that there is butone playful master-tune ringing through thewhole universe.”

On the day before Mother left the Ramnaashram at Dhaka in June, 1932, at 5 p.m., Shesat with many of Her devotees in the opencompound to partake of the prasad. Suddenlythe sky became overcast with dark clouds, withstormy winds, flashes of lightning and thunder.Everybody present apprehended immediaterainfall. Just at that time another party arrivedand they also sat down to have prasad . Thosewho had finished eating were asked by Motherto leave, but She Herself stayed on. When allhad finished, She stood up and said, “I shallhave a free bath now.’ Many tried to dissuadeHer from taking a bath so late in the afternoon.But She stood firm when a heavy downpour ofrain started; the whole compound was flooded.Mother, like a restless, playful girl ran about inthe rain with great delight; many old men andwomen, boys, girls and youths with all theirfine clothes on joined the gathering and startedsinging Kirtan, which continued till 9 p.m.

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Amongst them were some with very poorhealth; but none of them caught cold.

We have seen many instances when by amere glance Mother stopped rain, or by agentle smile or loud laughter put an end to alldisputes and display of ill-will amongst Herdevotees.

Mother by nature takes very little food; onecannot even imagine how a person can live onsuch a scanty diet. In the early stages of Herlife, when many yogic processes manifestedthemselves in Her body, She passed many dayswithout taking even a drop of water. She didnot feel any inclination to eat until those yogicprocesses ceased. During those days ofcomplete or partial fasts Her appearance wasbright and cheerful, Her body nimble, full ofhealth and vigour as usual. We already knewabout the courses of Her restricteddiet.

She passed five months taking just ahandful of food and that too towards the closeof the night. For eight to nine months She tookonly three mouthfuls of rice in the day andthree at night. For five or six months She livedon a little fruit and water taken twice daily.There were occasions when She spent five tosix months eating a small quantity of rice onlytwice a week; on other days a few fruitssufficed.

From 1924 onwards, She could not eatwith Her own hands; whenever She tried tocarry food to Her mouth, Her grasp slackenedand a large part of the food slipped though Herfingers. This was not due to any disease. At thattime, it was arranged that the person who used

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to feed Her should, once during day and oncein the night, give Her only as much food ascould be grasped by the tips of two fingers. Inthis way four or five months were spent. Onalternate days She would also drink a smallquantity of water. For five to six months Shetook three grains of boiled rice in the morningand three grains in the evening and two or threeripe fruits that had fallen from trees naturally.Sometimes it so happened that food wasallowed just to touch Her lips and thendropped. For two to three months She ate asmuch food as one could put into Her mouth ina single breath. For eight to nine months Shepartook of only two ounces of rice and dalmixed together and boiled in a small bowl oversacrificial fire, or of a small quantity ofvegetable soup mixed with some boiled rice ormilk. For several days together She lived onone or two pieces of roti. It may also be added,that for many days on end, She remainedentirely without food.

After She had given up eating ricealtogether, She could not even recognize it.There was a Kahar [an order of low class people inBengal considered unclean because of their filthy ways oflife] maidservant in Shah-bag, who was eatingrice. When Mother saw it, She said smiling—”What is she eating? How nicely she ischewing and swallowing! I too shall eat withher.” One day She found a dog eating rice,when She began to say plaintively, ‘I want toeat, I want to eat”. When such impulses wereobstructed, She used to lie on the ground forsome time like a petulant little girl. Once

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Mother said of Her own accord, “Man tries togive up old habits. But my ways are totallydifferent. I devise means so that my old habitsmay be restored. You must feed me with threegrains of boiled rice every day, otherwise I shalllose the habit of eating rice, just as I haveforgotten the use of my hand for taking food.”

Those who used to feed Mother had to beon the alert to see that She was not given oneparticle in excess of what She had instructed.They had to lead a pure life of self- control; thecooking utensils had to be kept scrupulouslyclean and pure. Otherwise She could notswallow the food, or Her face would turn away,or She would leave Her seat automatically.Mother used to say, — “There is no differencebetween this body and a lump of clay; I can eatfood placed on the floor or anywhere else inany way you like; but for your education,regard for hygiene, the observance ofcleanliness, other rules and social obligationsare necessary; hence my body automaticallyfollows those regulations.”

During the long periods of abstinence fromnormal quantities of food She did not shrinkfrom Her usual household duties nor did Herbody lose its natural loveliness. Afterwardsgradually all the activities of Her family lifebegan to slacken. Whenever She tried to dosome housework Her body would cease tofunction and She used to lie down on the floorquite benumbed. Sometimes She would burnHer hands and feet at the kitchen fire; at othertimes She would get hurt through other causes,but She was not conscious of those mishaps.

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Mother says, —”Nobody can give up workby the force of self-will; when his karma isexhausted, all work ceases automatically.”

From May 1926 the rigours of the rulesregarding Her diet began to slacken. But whatShe ate was, after all, extremely little; it mightbe called a small child’s ration. Four or fiveyears after She had stopped talking food withHer own hand, some of Her bhaktas expressedtheir great eagerness to see Her do so onceagain. At their request She agreed to try and satdown with the dishes spread before Her. Butafter putting a pinch of food into Her mouth,She gave some to others and rubbed the rest onthe floor. She could not eat at all. After thisnobody ever asked Her to eat with Her ownhands. She said, —”I look upon all hands asmine; actually I always eat with my ownhands.”

From Her early days everybody noticed Herskill in neat home-craft, in the art of cookingand Her gracious manner of entertaining guests.Whatever She did, was done to perfection. Shecould spin very beautifully and weave cloth ona handloom; Her needlework, hosiery and cane-work were superb; they showed anextraordinary degree of intelligence and skill.When She found others unable to do a piece ofwork, She would come to their aid and to theirsurprise, accomplish it with ease. Dishes offood prepared by Her were delicious andtherefore, wherever a feast took place, She wasalways requested to direct the cooking.

Mother felt great delight in distributing food“to all persons, — adults as well as children.

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She would forego food and all personalcomforts to satisfy others. On one occasionwhen a sadhu came from Gujarat to Shah-bag,Dhaka; with the hem of Her sari she rubbed hisseat clean and entertained him with Her usualhumility and sweetness. The dish of food wasso neatly served that it appeared to besanctified, as it were, by Her great love andselfless spirit of service. On leaving, the sadhusaid,—”Today I have taken food from thehands of the Mother of the world; I have neverin my life been served with so much care andpurity.”

As long as She could, She cooked for allHer devotee-children and with motherlyaffection served the food to them. Prasadreceived from Her hands roused unprecedentedjoy in the hearts of devotees. Many mysteriousincidents happened at the distribution ofprasad. One day the wife of the late NiranjanRoy brought some oranges for Mother. MotherHerself distributed them, for everybody presentexclaimed, “I want prasad from Mother’shands”. The number of oranges was very small;too many were the claimants. There was everychance of oranges falling short. But Mother’sways are inscrutable. Everyone got an orangeand there was not a single one left over.Another day there was a kirtan party inNiranjan’s house at Dhaka. Food for about fiftyto sixty people was prepared, but the number ofguests swelled to around a hundred andtwenty. Mother noticed it and till the end of theserving stood in a corner of the room where the

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food was kept. When all had eaten, it wasfound that some food was yet left over.

By way of offerings to Mother, food andclothes came in abundance to the ashram .After partaking of a small particle of the foodoffered or wearing a piece of cloth for a shortwhile, She would distribute everythingamongst the people assembled. Thereafter Shewould laugh cheerfully People offered Motherprecious gold and silver ornaments, shellbangles, glass churis and many other things. Attimes these ornaments were massed on Herforearms. She received all things, great andsmall, precious or trivial, with equal grace. ButShe never cared to enquire who had presentedthem or what became of them afterwards. Manyornaments were given away and what remainedwas melted into a lump and spent over theornaments for the images in the ashram temples

She had never more than two changes ofsaris to wear. She would often give away oneout of the two, but it so happened that as soonas the one was given away, another sari wouldbe offered to Her.

When I went to Calcutta from Dhaka, Iused to put up at the house of Sri JnanendraNath Sen. He was more than an elder brother tome. His wife., the late Mrs. Hiranmayi Devi,looked upon me as her own younger brother.Such a loving soul with such extraordinarysimplicity, purity, devotion to her husband andan uncommon tactfulness to please the guestsand the members of her household, was rare.

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Attracted by her goodness Mother also used togo and see her occasionally.

Once when Mother was staying at Calcutta Iwent to see Her. A devotee made Her put on asari of a fine Dhaka fabric. It had been arrangedthat Mother would go to Jnan Babu’s house. Iwent ahead as I was informed that Mother wasgoing somewhere else on Her way. I purchaseda sari of medium quality hoping that whenMother would arrive at Jnan Babu’s place, thisnew sari would be presented to Her and Motherwould naturally leave the finer and costlier onefor Jnan Babu’s wife. I did not disclose mymotive to anybody .

Mother arrived at Jnan Babu’s place. But tomy dismay I found that She was wearing a veryordinary sari, as the fine Dhaka fabric, whichShe wore before, had been left at the place Shevisited on Her way. I was surprised but Motherlaughed each time She looked at me. Nobodypresent could understand the meaning of Herlaugh. I later confessed to Mother with what afoolish motive I had purchased the sari.

I have given above some instances ofMother’s extraordinarily meagre diet. A fewexamples may also be cited showing how attimes She took abnormally large quantities offood.

After She had for about eight or ninemonths eaten daily -one chattack (two ounces) ofrice mixed with dal, boiled in a small bowl oversacrificial fire, it was settled one day that Sheshould have a normal quantity of food. Buteverybody pressed Her to eat more and Sheasked them to bring all the food prepared,

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sufficient for eight or nine persons. She ate it allup. On another occasion, She smilingly tooksixty to seventy puris and a correspondingquantity of dal and vegetables, followed by alarge bowl of rice boiled in thick milk. Therewas an instance when She ate up rice puddingprepared from half a maund of milk (about 20Kg) and when the whole of it was exhaustedShe exclaimed, “I want to eat more, please giveme more Kheer !“ According to folk prejudice,a few drops of the sweet dish were sprinkled onthe sari covering Her head, lest the influence ofthe evil eye of the people witnessing the eventcause any illness to Mother. It was found laterthat the spots where the drops fell , looked as ifscorched by fire.

A few minutes after She had taken food inabnormally large quantities, there was anextraordinary expression of Her face. She usedto say on such occasions :—“At the time ofeating I did not know that I was swallowing somuch food. It was from you that I first came tolearn about it. At that time, whatever things youmight [ my suggestion) offer, good or bad,even grass or leaves, would have been allconsumed”. But there was no physical disorderto be noticed after such eating. Furthermore Shewould often perform many strange feats thatcame into Her head, but however abnormal,they did not result in any adverseconsequences.

Just as offerings to God - sanctified bymantras, flowers, sandal paste etc. anddedicated with earnestness fill the mind with aserene pleasure, so also presents to Mother, if

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offered with whole-hearted devotion, bringimmense satisfaction and joy to the devotee.We have seen that such commonplace andtrifling things as fried rice or fried paddy andquite ordinary fruits were accepted by Her like atreasure. Ordinary vegetable curry without salt,or Kheer without sugar, were eaten up by Herwith great avidity, and out of the fullness ofHer heart, She would even invite others presentto partake of the pleasure of eating. On theother hand, in many cases, when very rare andvaluable foodstuff procured with muchdifficulty, was brought to Her lips, Her mouthclosed up at the first touch.

Late Sri Tarak Bandhu Chakravarty, retiredDy. Inspector of Schools, who lived inGanderia, Dhaka, came walking about fivemiles with some pure sandesh (a special type ofBengali sweet)) prepared at his house from hisown cow’s milk. It was not yet dawn when hearrived. Mother was still in bed. Like animpatient child the old man called out, “Ma,Ma, I have brought you some sweets (sandesh),prepared with special care; won’t you eatthem?“

Mother sat up on Her bed and withouthaving washed Her face, mouth or hands, Sheat once began to eat the sweets from the handsof the old man. She clapped Her hands withjoy; tears of gratitude for Mother’s childlikelove and affection rolled down Tarak Babu’scheeks.

Another day Babyd ( Smt Sailabal Basu, wife ofNK Basu of Dhaka) was coming to Mother withsome sweets prepared by herself. When she was

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nearly half a mile away, Mother suddenlylaughed loudly and said,—”Sweets are arrivingfor me.” She sat up like a child eager to eatthem. There were occasions, when onsomeone’s arrival She would exclaim,—”Bringout what you have brought for me”, Sheexpressed Her delight at the presents with manymerry, playful jokes. On the other handincidents are not rare when people had to waitfor a long time with their offerings, but Motherwould not even care to look at them.

Once I was bed-ridden with a serious disease.Quite unexpectedly a desire flashed across mymind to send some Kheer to Mother. When itwas ready I tasted a few drops to test if it hadbeen prepared properly. My eldest sister waspresent and said,—”We cannot send this Kheer(milk boiled to consistency] to Mother; thingstasted beforehand by men cannot be offered toa God.” I replied, “Please send it.” I came tolearn afterwards that Mother consumed theentire offering Herself.

On another occasion I said to my wife,“Please prepare some sati food for Mother.” Itwas done reluctantly and sent to Mother. Wecame to learn afterwards that She did not toucha particle of it.

It has been frequently observed that peoplewho with great devotion and love for Motherwaited at a distance silently offering all theirbest sentiments to Her, felt Mother’s blessingsin the inmost depths of their souls while therewere others who brought heaps of offerings,prayed and shed tears to obtain Her grace, but

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neither received neither Her instructions norblessings. Everybody gets a response from Heraccording to the sincerity and intensity of hisdevotion; Her blessings do not depend uponthe nature of any material thing offered to Her.

All people, men of piety as well as atheists,rich or poor, young or old, male or female,even infants have free access to Her. She isoften heard to utter with a laugh, “Why do youbother about the time and opportunity to seeme ? Don’t you find that my doors are alwaysopen?” Although owing to the illusoryattractions of the world, you often forget thislittle daughter of yours, you may rest assuredthat your worries and tribulations are everbefore my eyes.

Nothing appears strange to Mother whowatches all things without the help of thephysical eye, who can read all thoughts withoutthe assistance of the spoken word, who seeingand hearing, moves about like one soaring farabove, totally unconcerned with the affairs ofthis world and yet in live touch with them. Dayand night, unconcerned with Her personalcomfort or fatigue, She appears to be waitingfor all men, be they in distress or at ease.

People flock round Her from early morningtill late at night. Some are painting her foreheadwith vermilion drops, others dressing Her hair,yet others offering to give Her a bath, or towash Her face and mouth, or to clean Her teethwith tooth paste. Some may request Herpermission to change Her sari, others express adesire to put some sweets or a slice of fruit intoHer mouth, some whisper their secret requests

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into Her ear, others are eager to have a privateinterview with Her. Some may even be boldenough to disperse the crowd surrounding Her,saying:—”Please move away, don’t troubleMother in this manner.”

But think of Mother! She sits up, hour afterhour, day after day, in Her exquisitely peacefulmanner in the midst of all this noise and bustle,rush and tussle; She remains steady and firmwith a face brimming over with cheerfulness,meeting all the various demands or prayers withsuch loving grace that the whole atmosphereappears to be over-flowing with heavenly joyand happiness. The hearts of the peopleassembled may not all be equally attracted byHer dignity, but Her sweet and compassionateglances fall with equal tenderness upon allhuman beings like the golden rays of the sun atdawn. Nobody has yet been found to comeaway from Her presence in despair or dejection.

Mother says ,—“God’s world is made up ofboth, people who understand its nature andwho do not. They have to be kept satisfied withjust the toys they want.” For this very reasonnobody has yet been able to say, “Mother is notmine, but yours”; whoever has the goodfortune to be in intimate touch with Her, musthave felt, “Mother is mine and mine only”. Allhave opened their innermost hearts to Her andhave found new hope and peace in return.

It is beyond our power to realise howMother plays with Her devotees. We havefound Her responding to the two conflictingemotions- of joy at the birth of a son and ofsorrow over a child’s death- at the same time,

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with equal warmth. We have also seen Herweeping with a lady mourning over the loss ofher son and laughing joyously with a happyperson. Such contradictory impulses find awonderful synthesis in Her. We have found Herusing sweet, soothing words of comfort to thedistressed imploring Her blessings, whilewithdrawing Her feet from their grasp. Sheappeared to be quite unconcerned at anotherlying prostrate at Her feet for a pretty long time.One day a lady who had lost her son fell at Herfeet wailing bitterly. Mother began to weep andshed tears so profusely with the bereavedmother, held close in Her embrace, that thelatter came to forget all her woes; on the handexclaimed, “Mother, be comforted, I shall notweep over my son’s death anymore.”

Many of us have found immense joysimply looking at Her, touching the dust of Herfeet or hearing Her sweet words, which causean influx of pure thoughts and sentiments inour hearts.

Once a friend of mine who had latelyreturned from England with a mind soakedwith Western ideas, came at my request to seeMother - He said that at the sight of Mother,the mantra which he had received from hisGuru long, long ago before sailing abroad, andwhich he had almost forgotten, revived in hismemory. There are many instances showinghow by sitting at Her feet people acquired thepower of concentration and devotion to enablethem to worship God and to contemplate theDivine.

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Keeping Her as an ideal to be followed wholeheartedly, with a sacred regard for Her person,many people have advanced on the spiritualpath. Once at the Siddhesvari temple whenMother was in a trance, a girl of sixteen orseventeen was so moved with wonder and joythat she embraced Mother. At the touch the girlwas overcome with rapture and rolled on thefloor crying repeatedly, “Han, Ha [7]~. Forthree or four days this blissful state continued.We have also heard that at the sight of Motheror at the touch of Her hand many peoplerepented. of their past transgressions andadvanced in spiritual life. In a large city in theUnited Provinces (now known as Uttar Pradesh) avery respectable lady, the wife of a highGovernment official, came to see Mother. Aftershe had sat by Her side for some time, she sodeeply repented of some of her past sins thatwhen she returned home she confessed all herguilt to Her husband, asking him to shoot herand put an end to her vicious career. Mothercame to know of this, called both husband andwife and found means to restore their normaldomestic relations. It is also well known thatpersons who were ordinarily-slighted by all assinful or worthy of contempt, could find easyaccess to Mother and were induced to recoverfrom their evil ways. Mother always says, “Iwant specially those very persons, who have noprop to support them on their path to goodlife.” Instances are not rare of people, entirely

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ignorant of the spiritual life, who could feel anupward drive by an attitude of self-surrender toHer. On the other hand, many learned scholarsor adepts in religious practices were found tocome to Her for a few days and then go backfilled with their own self-conceit. Mother says,—“Nothing takes place unless the appointedtime arrives; everybody gets as much as hedeserves.

During Kirtan we found animals like dogsand goats pressing close to Mother’s body,placing their heads on Her lap or moving aboutHer person and eating the scraps of scatteredsweets at the close of the Kirtan, seeking themout like men. Even poisonous snakes were seencrawling about Her. One day Sri GirijaPrasanna Sarkar noticed a snake rearing itshood over Her head while She was sittingunder a tree in Siddheshwari compound ,though the space around was neat and clean. Inthe house of Niranjan Roy a snake wasfollowing Mother’s footsteps in a room on thefirst floor, lit with electric light.

What Mother says is so universal andattractive that one feels one’s loftiest desires andaspirations expressed in Her words. Everysingle sentence from Her lips naturallyillumines a new horizon that is ever-abidingand glorious. She does not enter into anyreasoned argument or elaborate discussion, nordoes She willingly give any instruction orcommand to anybody . A man obtains from Heras much as the intensity of his love anddevotion entitles him to.

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There have been many cases in whichpersons approaching Her with their problems,found to their surprise answers to their doubtsand difficulties, in the course of Herconversation with other people present. On oneoccasion Mother went to Baidyanath Dham,when Brahmachari Balanandaji said to Her,—”Mother, open your treasure chest for us.”The reply was,—It is ever open for all.”

Some of Her teachings have been publishedin Sad Vani .~ A few more are noted herebelow.In the course of Her everyday talks in the shapeof smiling suggestions and parables, Sheexpresses ideas and thoughts about life andreligion, that, if collected, would make awonderful volume of spiritual treasure. Motherchooses the tiny incidents of everyday life asvehicles for expressing lofty truths andprinciples of human conduct. That our smallsocial unit is a part and parcel of the greatfamily of mighty worlds, that all beings,dwelling here below are, through all the stormand stress of life, moving onwards in quest ofthe Infinite Master of creation, are truths thatalways find expression through Her words,smiles, songs, kirtans, hymns and psalms aswell as in all Her sweet ways of life. What Shesays or does is full of hints for our guidanceand is applicable to our conduct both in theworldly and religious life. If we make even oneof Her many-sided virtues the ideal of our life,it will be sufficient to lead us to Self-realisation.To those who have a great desire for spiritualuplift, She appears to have put on this physical

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body for the welfare of man to help him in hisstruggle for freedom from the miseries anddistress that chain him down here for ages.

The central theme of all Her words andexpressions is this:

Life and religion are one. All that you do tomaintain your life, your everyday work andplayful activities, all your attempts to earn aliving, should be done with sincerity, love anddevotion, with a firm conviction thatmaintaining one’s life means virtuallyperfecting one’s spiritual existence in tune withthe universe. To bring about this synthesis,religious culture should be made as natural andeasy, as taking our food and drink when we arehungry and thirsty.

Mother says,—“With earnestness, love andgoodwill do life’s everyday duties and try toelevate yourself higher and higher, step by step.In all human activities let there be a live contactwith the Divine and you will not have to leaveoff anything. Your work will then be done welland you will be on the right track to find theMaster. Just as the Mother nourishes her childwith all possible care and affection and makeshim grow up into a healthy boy and ahandsome youth, so you will come to find thesubtle touches of the Divine Mother shapingyour inner life and making you reach your fullheight and stature. Whatever work you have todo, do it with a singleness of purpose, with allthe simplicity, contentment and joy you arecapable of. Thus only will you be able to reapall the best fruits of work. In fullness of time,

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the dry leaves of life will naturally drop off andnew ones will shoot forth.”

We have often heard from Mother thatwhen She used to attend to Her householdduties She was fully absorbed in the work andhad not the slightest thought of Her dress, foodor even Her body. She would devote Herselfwholly to the tasks assigned to Her and carryout the orders of Her seniors in the family withscrupulous care. Her neighbours would alwayssay,—”This newly married girl lacks usualcommon sense.’’

Mother says,—”Just as there is a definitetime-table for work at the office, school or theshop, so should we set apart for divinecontemplation a few minutes out of the twenty-four hours of every day, preferably in themorning and evening. One must form a fixedresolve that this little time shall be dedicated toGod throughout life. During this period noworldly activity should be allowed to encroachupon the contemplation of God. A fixed timemust be allotted to all the members of thefamily including the servants. If this practice iscontinued for long, divine contemplation willbecame a part of your nature. Once the habit isestablished, the future course of your life willbe made quite easy. You will feel the flow ofthe mysterious divine grace feeding all yourthoughts and actions and giving you newstrength. You get a pension or bonus after yearsof hard work, so that you need no longer earnyour livelihood. In the spiritual realm thereward for good, sincere and selfless work is

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even far greater and can be obtained moreeasily.

“Your earthly pension expires with yourlife, but the Divine pension continues long,long after death. Those who would amassmoney, store it up in a hidden chamber of theirhouse, add to this store what they can save fromtime to time, keep a constant watch over theirtreasure. So also reserve a little corner of yourmind for God and always steal an opportunityto add to your stock in the shape of theinvocation of His name or some pious work orDivine thought .”

One day Mother was showing the variousways of saluting God and said,—”Loseyourself altogether when bowing down to Godwith a single-minded devotion and you willobtain joy and power in proportion. If youcannot do anything else, at least morning andevening at the appointed time, lay down yourbody, mind and lie flat before Him in salutationand think of Him just a little.” “In thisconnection She added “,there are two kinds ofpranams (mode of salutation): Offering to him,your whole body and mind with all thoughts,desires, sense-impressions, love, affection anddevotion, just like emptying the contents of afull pitcher to its last drop. The other way is likescattering face-powder through the minuteholes of a powder-box; the major portion ofyour thoughts and desires are kept back in ahidden chamber of your mind, and only a littledust is allowed to escape.

Pramatha Babu was transferred from Dhakaas Post Master General. He went to Mother to

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bid Her farewell. Mother said to him,—”Whosalutes whom ? You bow down to your ownSelf.” He was thrilled with wonder and joy tohear such a remark.

On one occasion Prof. Atal BehariBhattacharji fell ill at Shah-bag during the Pujaholidays. He keenly desired that Mother shouldcome down to him, and like his own mother,massage his aching head. Mother went andpassed Her hands over his whole body fromhead to foot. On recovery he returned toRajshahi, the place of his work. After somedays this incident was discussed at Shah-bag. Iremarked,— “The gentleman lacked commonsense, his intelligence was equally poor. I fail tosee what purpose he had to make Mother dothat job for him during his illness.” As soon asMother heard my remark, Her face changedcolour. She said,—”Shall I massage your feet?“ With these words She advanced towardsme. I began to move away, with Motherfollowing me. Pitaji intervened and stoppedHer. Even now I remember Mother’s childlikeface glowing with motherly warmth, alwayseager to nurse, soothe and serve all Herchildren. At that moment Sri. ShashankaMohan Mukherji cried out, “Ma, Ma,” and fellat Her feet.

In this connection Mother said,—“Just as ahuman body has different parts like the head,the hands, thighs, feet, fingers and toes, I findall of you representing my various limbs. Youall belong to one body,—each one has to dowork of equal importance.”

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On a different occasion the late NirmalChandra Chatterji of Benaras offered someflowers at Mother’s feet. Just then a man waspassing by, carrying flowers in a basket toperform the worship of his deity elsewhere.Mother picked up the flowers that had beenpresented at Her feet and placed them in thebasket. Nirmal Babu enquired from Motherwhy She did so. Her reply was, “All people areworshipping One Being only; all hands andfeet belong to One Body.”

On another occasion, I observed Motherstriking the ground with a bamboo cane when afly was accidentally killed by a stroke. Withgreat care and concern Mother picked it up andkept it in Her closed fist. Many persons werepresent. Four to five hours passed inconversation. Mother then opened Her fist andsaid to me, “Can you do anything for the goodof this fly which has passed on to the otherworld?“ I said, “I have heard people say, thereis heaven inside the body of man.” So saying, Iswallowed the fly.

Mother began to laugh and said,—”Whathave you done ? Does not a man get ill whenhe eats a fly ?“ I replied,—”If through yourgoodwill the fly meets with a better life, noharm will come to me.” I did not get ill.

Referring to this incident Mother said,—”Insects, flies, spiders and men all belong toone family,—nobody knows what they were,are or will be and how they have becomeinterrelated to one another.”

I had a very pious Muslim friend, the lateMoulvi Jainuddin Hossain.. He used to pass

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nearly all his time in divine contemplation. OneThursday evening I went to Shahbag with himand Niranjan. Kirtan was in full swing in theNat-mandap . * We three stood at a distanceunder a tree so that we might not be seen fromthe place of the kirtan. After about half an hourwe found to our surprise that Mother suddenlycame out of the hall with Her devoteesfollowing Her with a lantern. With quick stepsMother came towards us, touched my friendwith Her right hand and then walked on. Wethree followed Her footsteps. There was a verywell preserved grave of a Muslim saint in acorner of Shah-bag. Mother went there andassumed the postures usual to Muslims duringtheir prayer, uttering at the same time all theparticular words they use. My Muslim friendalso joined Her. On returning from there thekirtan was resumed and my friend too sangwith the party, clapped his hands with them andmoved round and round. It so happened thatthe man in charge of the grave was absent thatevening and did not light candles or offersweets as usual. Under Mother’s instructionsmy Muslim friend offered some Batasha [a kindof sweet made of boiled sugar with imprisoned air) atthe grave and lighted candles. He had a desireto see Mother eat some of the sweets. When hecarried to Mother the plate containing them,She opened Her mouth and he dropped somesweets into it. He himself partook of the prasadoffered at the end of the kirtan . He was anorthodox Muslim but had a high notion ofMother, and after this he came to have anunshakable regard for Her.

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At the loving request of a Muslim Begum,Mother performed Namaz (prayer) at the samegrave. The Begum was an educated lady. Shesaid that there was wonderful correspondencebetween what Mother said and the sacred textsused during Namaz. Mother said, “Some fouror five years ago when I was at Bajitpur I sawthe ethereal body of the Faquir whose gravewas over there. After we came to Shah-bag Imet him and some of his disciples. He was astalwart figure, an Arab by descent.” Onenquiry this was found to be correct.

Once Mother went to the house of RaiBahadur Jogesh Chandra Ghosh. There waskirtan that day. Suddenly a change wasobserved in Her. Some 150 to 200 cubits awaya young Muslim dressed like a Hindu sat in thedark, quite unnoticed. Through the crowdMother forced Her way to the youth and beganto chant “Allah, Alla-ho-Akbar “. The youngman was moved to tears and joined Mother insaying the usual prayer. He told us afterwards,—”The ease and distinctness with whichMother invoked the name of Allah, wasbeyond our best achievements. And the joysuch as I felt that day when uttering the name ofGod together with Mother, I never experiencedbefore.”

Mother introduced the name of Hari (God)in a very respectable Muslim family. Whilereciting the name they were moved to tears.They had great regard for Mother. In thisconnection Mother said,—”Hindus, Muslims,and all other communities in the world are one;they all worship one Supreme Being and call

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for His mercy. Kirtan and Narnaz are one andthe same.”

Sri Kali Prasanna Kushari and his wife Smt.Mokshada Sundari Devi, Pitaji’s sister, lovedMother greatly. In Her company they found much delight. Once Sri Kushari came toDhaka, but was staying somewhere else. Hehad discussed religious matters with Motherand was about to depart. He said with a laugh,“You are credited with great power. If you havesuch power, just burn me to ashes.” Saying thishe lighted some agarbati (incense sticks) andstarted for his place with the sticks in his hand.Pitaji and Mother were to go to a different placeand all started together. The sun was very hot.Sri Kushari held his umbrella over Mother. Thetwo were walking ahead. Suddenly Kusharistarted and exclaimed, “Alas, from where is fireraining down upon my head ? Are you burningme ? Are you really ? Please stop the fire. Ihave got ample proof of your power.” To hisconsternation he found a portion of theumbrella burnt away.

On a different occasion a gentleman laidsome flowers at Her feet. She picked up one ofthem and pointing at its petals, pollens andalluding to its scent etc., She illustrated thematerial, astral and spiritual aspects of life andmade people understand the eternal play of theDivine.

Mother is always on the move from place toplace. She said in that connection, “I find onevast garden spread out all over the universe. Allplants and animals, all human beings, all highermind-bodies are playing about in this garden in

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various ways, each has its own uniqueness andbeauty; their presence and variety give me greatdelight. Everyone of you add with your specialfeature to the glory of the garden. I move aboutfrom one place to another in the same garden.What makes you feel my absence so keenlywhen I happen to leave your part of the gardenfor another, to give delight to your brothersover there ?“

Towards the middle of 1931, while walkingin the Ramna fields, Mother said,—”Prayer isan essential part of the practice of religion; itspower is irresistible; prayer reveals the life ofhuman beings. All the thoughts that arise inyour heart should be offered to God. Pray forHis Grace with all earnestness and in a spirit ofself-surrender.”

Just at that time I was reading in the newspaper that before Lord Irwin came out to Indiaas Viceroy and Governor-General, he asked hisfather’s opinion. The latter replied,—”Don’tworry about the outcome of events; we have nocontrol over them. Pray to God and you mayget some glimpse of the future.” Both fatherand son went to a church to pray. Whilereturning from there, the father said, “You willhave to go to India.” The son confirmed, “I alsofeel the same.”

When Mother heard it, She said,—”This isa good instance of the efficacy of prayer. Butone must have deep faith like a child. Byconstant practice the foundation of faithbecomes strong; when pure faith takes root inthe mind, sincere prayer issues forth from thesoul. Through devotion the real spirit of prayer

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awakens in one’s soul, when the Divine Gracemanifests itself in the desired results.”

On another occasion Mother said,—”Whenyou talk of Divine Grace it implies thatsomething descends on man without anyintelligible cause. At its own time it comes of itsown volition. Your find a child forgetting hismother when deeply absorbed in his play; butthe mother, out of her own motherly love,bends down over him and takes him on her lap.The Divine Grace blesses a man just like that. Amother’s affection reveals itself before the childhas time to think of her. You will certainly saythat blessings in the shape of Divine Grace arethe result of one’s good in previous births.From one standpoint this may be true, but froma different view-point one may say, that asGod is absolutely free from all chains of causeand effect, one must not enquire about Hismotives; though such search for reasons oftendisturbs us, His mercy descends on all beingsevenly. But when one develops a higher vision,one begins to feel the Divine Touch . Havesomething to rely on. Try to be in vital contactwith it and you will find the free flow of Hisblessings upon your soul, just as a bucketful ofwater comes out of a well only when the ropeto which the bucket is tied is being pulled.”

In this connection a question was put toMother,—”Can a person who has seen God,make others see Him ?“ She replied that a mancould have a vision of Him only when the timewas ripe. One who has that vision himself, canhelp others towards it only to a certain extent.

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The vision itself is possible through God’sGrace alone.

On another occasion there was discussionabout man’s past lives. Mother said,—”Pastbirths are real. There is no doubt about it. Whena cataract in one’s eye is removed by anoperation, one’s eyesight is restored. Likewiseby deep concentration on the Divine, when theveil that obscures our intelligence is removedand the mind purified and focused on the Self,the significance of Mantras and of the alliedforms of deities dawns on us and theimpressions of previous births flash upon ourconsciousness. Just as while at Dhaka, you canhave a mental picture of what you have seen inCalcutta, so also you can project a more graphicimage of your past lives upon your presentmental screen.” She added,—”When I see you,I can get a vision of a series of pictures of yourpast births.” On one occasion while in Calcutta,a gentleman and his wife came to Mother withtheir son aged about seven or eight. On seeingthe child Mother remarked, “This boy wasrelated to this body as a brother in his pastbirth.” One of Mother’s brothers died veryyoung . He had a severe hurt on his arm and itwas bent. The above mentioned boy also had acrooked arm.

At times Mother shows wonderfull courageand a strong disposition. There is not a trace offear in Her. What She wills or says must becarried out. Her thoughts and actions areallowed to function without any protest orhindrance, it contributes to the welfare of man.If obstructed, it causes harm. In Her younger

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years examples of this were of commonoccurrence.

When four or five years old, She used to goto Her Bara Ma (great grandmother) with a potfor fetching churned curds. One day She filledthe pot almost overfull with it. This irritated theold lady who said, “You eat so much curdevery day ! Today you won’t get any.” Nosooner was this uttered than the old lady foundto her dismay that the churning pot cracked andall the curds came out through the leak. Shestared at Mother’s face in surprise. After thisincident She would often call Mother herself totake the curd, even when She happened toarrive late.

We have seen Mother become as stern asthunderbolt, although She is by nature as softand tender as a flower. On one occasion Shewas so severe with me for talking thoughtlesslythat She commanded: “Go, get out of mysight!” On another occasion I disobeyed Herand the result was that Mother observed silencefor some days. There were many instances inwhich I was fortunate enough to receive Herhighest chastisement. If anybody does anywrong and expresses his repentance, Her sweet,merciful looks shed so much ineffable gracethat the transgressor’s mind changes altogetherand becomes pure and blissful. But if one’smind is agitated with anger and self-pride at Herwords, one feels terrible anguish until there isrepentance.

Once Pitaji took my side and pleaded forme, but Mother said, “Severe punishment is

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awarded to those who are able to stand it. Ifyou want to fell a tree, you have to use an axeat first; then a hatchet and a knife may beemployed to cut off the boughs and littlebranches. Thus chastisement will be severe orslight, as the case requires.”

For the relief of the sick and distressed Herkindness manifests itself in various ways. Onmany occasions Mother has said, “I don’t doanything with a motive or by an effort or will.It is your thoughts and desires that move thisbody to say or do things for your welfare. Ioften see what will or will not happen in thefuture, but words do not always find their wayout.”

Cases are too numerous to mention, whereboys and girls, men and women have obtainedhelp and relief directly or indirectly in cases ofdisease, in their trades or professions, in theirexaminations or selection of studies, marriagesand the like. To rid people of the ills of life,She made wounds in Her own body or tookupon Herself the sufferings of the patient. Suchcases are without number. Instances are alsofrequent in which it was found that appealsfrom strangers, when brought to Her noticethrough a third party, produced a picture oftheir sufferings in Her mind and they wererelieved of their distress. We have been told byMother that when She heard sincere prayers forthe redress of the misfortune of a person, reliefin some shape would come to him. Manypersons saw Her in their dreams and felt Herblessings in their bereavements or illnesses.

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The parents of a girl suffering fromparalysis approached Mother for a cure, Motherasked the girl to roll on the floor. The girl couldnot move at all; she could not even turn round.Mother was clipping betel-nuts into tiny piecesfor the worship of a deity. A few pieces werethrown at the girl and she was asked to stretchout her hand and catch them. With greatdifficult she could catch some. After that thefamily left. At her home the girl was laying inbed. On the following afternoon she heard therumbling noise of a passing car; she suddenlyjumped out of bed and ran towards it.Thereafter she gradually began to move about.

One day a carriage was driving along theroad across the Ramna grounds. Mother askedme to hire it. She got into it. The coachmanenquired, “Where would you go?“ “To yourown house”, was Mother’s prompt reply.Without saying a single word, he drove to hishome. On arriving there, it was found that anold man was about to die; by his side hisrelations were weeping. Mother asked me tobring some sweets which were distributedamongst the people present and She cameaway. We learnt subsequently that the old manhad recovered.

Mother had other ways as well to give reliefto sufferers. She would ask a person in distressto use anything he could lay his hands on, atdusk, shutting his eyes. By using such articleshe was found to recover. Sometimes She wouldask a patient to eat the food prepared for Herand She would Herself eat the sick-dietintended for him. In cases of fever or serious

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bowel-complaints, patients following Mother’sdirections, ate food not considered beneficial byphysicians, with the result that they wererestored to their former health in no time.

When my son was fifteen or sixteen yearsold he was suffering from dysentery for aboutten or twelve days. Mother came to see him onenight. From that night he began to recover butMother had dysentery for a few days.

It has also been found, if any patient wasdestined not to come round, he would eitherwillfully violate Mother’s directions or fail, bythe pressure of circumstances, to follow them.In these cases the final outcome could beforeseen from Mother’s ways. The Hindushastras enjoin that the results of our pastactions in this birth or of those done during ourprevious births, can only be neutralized bysteady good work in this life with the help ofDivine Grace; but work that calls forth divineintervention is very difficult to perform, unlesssome saint out of compassion volunatrily aidssuch efforts.

Mother says,—”As long as you see thisobjective world, creation exists for you. Thereis conflict so long as the notions of you and I,happiness and misery, light and darkness,prevail. Consider yourself an integral part ofNature and let there be stress on Nature’s workor on Her Laws of work instead of on yourown self as the embodiment of your senseperceptions. Then all your senses will bequiescent and your inner being will graduallyawaken; the problem of the self and of creationwill be solved. Then all your wants will vanish,

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the impact of life’s basic urges will graduallywear off like a smoke screen at the first breathof wind, your soul will resume its full glorylike the morning sun and the time will arrive foryou to fix your eyes upon the Supreme Being.

In Mother’s early life, opportunities for Hereducation were rather meagre, neither did Shepay much attention to it. But it was surprisingto find that the examiners would ask Herquestions from only those topics which Shehad glanced over beforehand. For this reasonShe was looked upon as a bright pupil in theclass. From Her girlhood She did not, of Herown accord, read any book ;nor did Shepractice handwriting. Still the groundwork ofHer -knowledge appeared to be quite sound.Whatever She studied She could masterthoroughly .

One day Mother enquired, “What is Italy?“A few days later an Italian Professor namedTucci came to Mother at Shah-bag. He hadcome to visit the University of Dhaka He askeda question in English and it was to be translatedinto Bengali for Her, but before this could bedone She gave the proper answer in Sanskrit.

We prayed to Her several times to give us aspecimen of Her handwriting in Bengali. Shesaid, “I don’t write anything with any purposein view. When the time comes, you may get it.”Fortunately some 22 years back on the 4th of Ashad, 1337 (Bengali Era), we did receive aspecimen.

(English translation :—“O thou Supreme Beingthou art manifest in all forms—this universe withall created things, wife, husband, father, motherand children, all in one. Man’s mind is cloudedby worldly ties. But there is no cause for despair.

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With purity, unflinching faith and burningeagerness go ahead and you will realise yourtrue Self.”

There are many photographs of Mother;

their number may be not less than 1,000. Butwhat is surprising is that no two are alike. Sri.Subodh Chandra Dasgupta of Dhaka, and Sri.Shashi Bhushan Dasgupta of Chittagongamongst many other photographers took manysnapshots. In October 1926 Shashi Babu cameto Dhaka during the Durga Puja celebrationsand some of us went to Shah-bag together totake a photograph of Mother early in themorning.

On reaching there we found that nobodyknew where Mother was. At last we discoveredthat She lay in a state of samadhi inside a darkroom. It had been arranged that Shashi Babuwould leave Dhaka the same afternoon. He wastherefore very anxious to take a snapshot ofMother that very morning. Pitaji was speciallyrequested to approach Mother for permission.

He, himself with my help brought Motherout and seated Her for an exposure and wewithdrew from the range of the camera. Motherwas still in a state of self-absorption with Herbody and limbs slack. Suspecting that Shemight have moved during the exposures,Shashi Babu used eighteen plates. He then leftfor Chittagong. Subsequently he wrote to saythat of the eighteen plates only the last oneproduced a good portrait which contained amoon-like ball of light on Her forehead, andwhat was stranger still, my figure appearedbehind Mother’s. An extract from Shashi

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Babu’s letter written to me long after, is givenbelow.

Shashi Babu’s letter ran thus :-“WhenMother’s photograph was being taken I loadedsix plates at a time and in three shifts eighteenplates were exposed. In the first few plates therewere no impressions, only a ball of lightcovered each plate. The next few plates showedsome hazy outlines; it was only on the last platethat the figure of Mother came out in full relief.You were far away beyond the range of thecamera and on one side. From there you gaveme the signal for giving the exposure. From thevery outset I was feeling nervous when takingthe exposures, as I had a dim suspicion thatthings were not all right, which caused memuch pain. When the last plate was exposed, Ifelt a flood of joy filling my heart. At that timeI just began to approach Mother’s feet as myonly refuge. During those days an incident likethe one mentioned above almost overwhelmedme (the letter was dated 5.5.37).

When the photograph was received atDhaka people suspected some trick of thephotographer in developing it.

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Image

Mystic image of “Bhaiji” on a photo taken of Motheralone.

ASHRAM

Everybody was feeling the need of anashram at Dhaka. Once when I went to Shah-bag on a moonlit night, Mother said, “Let us

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have a stroll in the maidan Pitaji”, Mother andmyself went out. We sat down on the grass justnear the place where a building stood in ruins(the site of the Dhaka Ashram). I most humblytold Mother that Shah-bag was the property ofthe Nawab of Dhaka, and as it would not bepossible for us to have Kirtan, Puja, etc. therefor much longer, it was necessary to have anashram Mother replied , “The whole world isfull of ashrams, what will you do with a newone ?“ I said, ”We do not require any bigproject; we just want a small place where wemay assemble round your blessed feet and singKirtan and offer worship.” Pitaji supported me.Mother said, “If you feel like erecting abuilding of this kind, the site of the old housethat you see over there will be the best. It isyour old home.”

She laughed and remained silent. At thattime there was a Shiva temple in ruins standingamidst heaps of rubbish, bricks and stones withjungle all around. The place was infested withsnakes. After the ashram premises were built wesaw many big snakes there. At that time oncertain occasions Mother used to offer milk andbananas in that deserted Shiva temple.

One Monday some raw milk with five orseven bananas were offered in a new earthenpot. After seven days at about 9 or 10 p.m.Mother went there and found the milk and thebananas in exactly the same condition as whenthey had been offered. Not a single ant hadtouched the pot. Mother said She would have asip from it. Many people tried to stop Her,thinking that the milk might be contaminated.

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But Mother must have Her way. She had a sipand many took Her prasad . What remained inthe vessel was left there. Next morning it wasfound that the entire contents had been lickedup. Not a drop remained. On enquiry we were informed that the Shivatemple and the adjoining lands belonged to theRamna Kali estate. When the priest, Sri.Nityananda Gin was approached, he said thathe would not part with the property for a sumof less than Rs. 6,000.

When Niranjan was transferred to Dhaka afew months later we tried to raise the money.But we could not succeed. Towards thebeginning of 1927 I was bed-ridden with aserious illness. One day Niranjan came to seeme and said that the Zamindar of Gouripur, Sri.Brojendra Kishore Ray Chowdhury had sentRs. 1,000/-. Niranjan added, “First try torecover soon; we shall then make an effort toraise more funds.” Niranjan collected moremoney gradually, but Nityananda Gin refusedto part with the property for a sum not less thanRs. 6,000/-. After suffering from ill-health forover a year and a half, I resumed my duties inthe Agricultural Department at Dhaka Weinspected many a site for building an ashram.But none appeared to be better suited than theone suggested by Mother.

We were in a fix. Towards the early part of1929 Mother was a Calcutta. Sri BenoyBhushan Banerji went there and had a talk withHer about the starting of the Dhaka ashram.When he came back and told me all about hisconversation with Her, my hopes revived. I

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decided one day that I must see the priest of theRamna Kali temple and accomplish at last thepurchase of the plot of land. When I steppedout of the house I saw the image of Motherfloating over my head, which gave me theconviction that our purpose would be fulfilled.The priest said, “As you are unable to pay thelarge sum required for an out-and-out sale, letthere be some sort of lease with Rs.500/- assalami and Rs. 300/- as yearly rent. The Kalitemple is also yours. Some permanentarrangement may be made later on.” After agood deal of discussion it was finally decidedto take the plot of land on lease for the timebeing.

Naturally such an arrangement was dislikedby many. But if an Ashram was to beestablished at all, the site selected appeared to bethe best suited for the purpose. The ashrambelonged to Mother; so we believed that Shewould do all that would be necessary for it. Itwas useless for us to speculate on the future.With these thoughts in mind we took lease ofthe plot of land on the terms offered. SriMathura Nath Basu, Nishikanta Mitra,Brindaban Chandra Basak tools a leading partin the transaction. On the 13th April, 1929Mother was requested to set Her feet on thepremises~ in ruins. Niranjan was then inmourning over the untimely loss of his wife.But he managed to be present there on theoccasion. About two months later he alsodeparted from this world. With the moneycollected by him the foundation of the ashramwas laid. Wherever he and his wife might be

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now in the other world, their connection withMother continues to this day. This is my belief.

Regarding the ashram Mother said,—”Anashram means a holy spot of land whichawakens divine thoughts in man. All its inmatesmust strive hard to keep the atmosphere pure bycontinuous prayer, sadhana (religious and spiritualexercises] noble thoughts, meditation andreligious discourse. In such a place it issufficient if there be a few thatched huts forinmates to live in anyhow.” It was on thisaccount that a tiny hut was first erected forMother in the ashram.

Sri Sri Ma’s movements and the play of Hervarious moods are beyond humancomprehension. It is futile to try and preventwhat She proposes to do, or to enquire why aparticular course of action is followed by Her.On the 2nd May, 1929 Mother entered the newRamna ashram. There were shouts of joy allaround. Sri. Baul Chandra Basak broughtgarlands and wristlets made of flowers anddressed Mother like Krishnaji. Mother tooappeared to be in a playful mood. But I stoodaloof, watching Her movements. It seemed tome that there was a shadow of a cloud lurkingsomewhere mysteriously. Mother’s smiles andvision appeared to be floating away to distantplaces. I returned to my house at 2 A.M. Nextday towards evening Pitaji visited our part ofthe town. Someone came with a message thatPitaji was wanted back at the Ashramimmediately. I accompanied him. It was about10 or 10-30 P.M. We found all persons in theashram quite sad and depressed. A gloom of

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anxiety darkened every face. Mother was sittingon the open maidan outside the boundary ofthe ashram. We were told that She had comeout of the ashram very early at dawn. Right upto 10-30 P.M. She had passed the whole of thetime wandering about in the fields.

On seeing Pitaji, Mother said, “Let thisbody go on a journey with its father; youyourself may please stay in the ashram”. Pitajiafter many protests gave his consent, blurtingout all on a sudden,—”Well, let your will bedone.” Many accompanied Mother to thestation. Pitaji and I stayed back, but after sometime we too went there. Pitaji tried his best todissuade Her from the project, expressing hisdisapproval. But Mother remained firm.

The train to Mymensingh stood ready.Mother got into it. Pitaji asked me toaccompany Her and told me to get into anothercompartment in case Mother should stop me. Inobedience to his instructions I accompaniedHer.

After I started for Mymensingh at aboutmidnight with only a piece of loin-cloth withme and without informing anybody of myfamily about my sudden departure, there wasgreat struggle in my mind and I hardly foundwords to describe it. The sun is called thesource of all life and activity and when thenight wore on, with the rays of the morningsun, demands of the office and family liferevived memories of endless unfinished dutieswaiting for me. What slaves of routine we allare ! The chains of the world are too stiff andtoo subtle to be broken asunder. My mind was

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strangely clouded with dark thoughts about theduties of that day, even when I got a uniqueopportunity to sit at Mother’s feet. Year afteryear I had yearned to touch those feet, and Shehad practically snatched me away from the jawsof death. It seemed to me that our regard,reverence and love were nothing but fleetingemotional impulses; in actual fact we secretlyworship our selfish desires. Mother too says,—“Your expressions of love and reverence floatover your physical mind like gusts of wind;unless the inmost chamber of your soul beopened to allow a free flow of true devotion,how can you offer the real thing in place of amere semblance ?“

On reaching Mymensingh, I enquired ofMother, “Where would you like to go next ?“Her reply was, “To the hills”. I said, “The rainyseason is already ahead of us; will it beadvisable at this time to go to the hills withyour old father ? If you want to pass some timein seclusion, let us go to Cox’s Bazar on theseaside.” Mother remained silent.

We ordinarily find that Mother gives aninstruction or suggestion only once. If we carryit out in toto, without any scruple, it finallyturns out to be for our best; otherwise we geteither disappointed with the result or fall intosome unforeseen troubles.

We discussed amongst ourselves where weshould go next and it was decided that wewould start for Cox’s Bazar by the eveningtrain. When we reached Ashugunj Station therewas a severe thunderstorm. Mother said, “Thefury of the storm that you see today is a trifle

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compared to what you will meet withtomorrow.” On reaching Chittagong weboarded the steamer for Cox’s Bazar. When wereached the sea at the mouth of the Karnafuliriver, a severe storm arose. There wasconsiderable rolling, waves began to pass overthe deck. The passengers were screaming withfear, but the joy of Mother at the sight of thestormy sea knew no bounds .

Watching the play of the storm with thewaves, Mother said, “Look over there ! Theever-melodious music of the Divine is going onover the bosom of the mighty sea. If mandesires to secure his spiritual uplift, he mustever remember God’s Name, sing His glory andtry to listen to His mighty voice through all theturmoil of life in this world.” We went fromCox’s Bazar to Adinath,(A temple on the top of a hillin the island of Mahesh Khali surrounded by the ocean.)

Mother remained there. I returned toDhaka. After a few days Pitaji also went toAdinath and took Mother to Calcutta. Fromthere She went to Hardwar with Her father.

Afterwards She travelled to Sahasra Dhara(Dehradun), Ayodhya , Benares, Vindhyachaland Nawadwip. From there She returned toCalcutta with Pitaji and then proceeded toChandpur . On Her way from Nawadwipthrough Calcutta I met Her. I learnt that Motherwas then eating only some fruits and a glass ofsherbet and had been passing several days inthis way lying on the ground day and night,quite absorbed in Her own thoughts. I also

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noticed that She moved about mechanically likea doll dragging a body made of clay but pulledby some invisible hand. Finding Her in such astate I was led to the conclusion that when theDivine puts on a body vehicle on earth, He orShe has to behave like an ordinary mortal inobedience to the laws of this illusory materialworld.

After some days both Mother and Pitajicame from Chandpur to Dhaka and stayed thereat the Siddheshwari Ashram. Pitaji fellseriously ill; after much suffering, as soon as hewas on the way to recovery, Mother becamebedridden. This has been described before.

In October, 1929 the image of Kali wasremoved to a corrugated iron shed erected forthe purpose in Ramna ashram. In 1930 all thegold ornaments of the deity were stolen and itswrist was broken by the thief.

There arose doubts whether the brokenimage could be w9rshipped at all. Many Panditswere consulted on the point.Mahamahopadhyaya Panchanan Tarkaratnasaid, “Since the image of Kali was notimmersed after the annual puja due to the orderof a saintly person, Her directions should alsobe followed in this special case although underordinary circumstances worship of a brokenidol is not permitted. According to Mother’sdirections the image was renovated andworshipped.

Long before, when I pointed out to Motherthat the construction of the temple wasnecessary to house the image of Kali, Motherreplied,—”Wait for one more year”. Within a

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year of this reply towards the beginning of1931, thanks to the best efforts of Sri. BhupatiNath Mitra and Nagendra Nath Roy, thefoundation stone of the temple was laid. Whena trench was dug for laying the foundation,four or five tombs, large and small, werediscovered, containing a skeleton each, some ina sitting posture and others lying down.

Regarding these Mother said to me,—”Thewhole site has a sanctity of its own, havingbeen the residence of a few sannyasis in thepast. You were one of them. I have seen someof the saints moving about in the Ramnamaidan. These sadhus desire that some templeshould be built upon their graves so that menmight come and pray to God here and maintainthe purity of the place for the benefit of thepeople. This is the reason why you have beenadvised to set up an ashram here. Those whohave taken part in the undertaking must havehad some association with the departed saints.”

I enquired of Mother, “If I was a Sannyasi,why should I be plodding on in this way now?“ Her reply was, “Till the fruits of one’sKarma are exhausted, one has to continue one’sunfinished work.”

While Mother was at Shah-bag before theDhaka ashram was started, there was Kirtanalmost every evening; it was prolonged till lateat night on the full-moon and new-moon days.One full-moon night I lay on my bed. It was 11p.m.., I was wideawake. For a long time asweet tune came floating into my ears, repeatingthese two lines:

Harey murarey madhukaitabharey

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Gopal Govind Mukund Sowrey

It occurred to me that Mother must besinging the song at Shah-bag. It sounded likeHer voice. Next morning I learnt that Motherhad actually been signing those lines at thetime.

She sang only those two lines over and overagain. I was really unfortunate. Though Mothertried to draw me to the divine melody of kirtansongs, I hardly developed a taste for them. Oneevening I went to Shah-bag with Niranjan.There was Kirtan. Mother said, “Those of youwho have not taken part in.the Kirtan, sing thename of God all together.” Niranjan and I sangwith very subdued, almost inaudible voicesowing t our natural shyness. But I felt sincereremorse because I could not carry out Mother’swishes fully.

All at once Mother said,—”Today isSaturday; it will be Sunday tomorrow; whydon’t you sit together and pass some hours ofthe night singing Kirtan ?“ Niranjan returnedto his house. I spent the whole night at Shah-bag singing Kirtan. Towards the early hours ofthe morning, Mother began to sing in amorning tune:

Hari hari hari hari hari hari hari bol

It awakened in me a new inspiration. Fromthat day onwards I could feel that in spiritualculture Kirtan has a much higher place thanother religious rites and observances. Thepresent practice of singing Kirtan at the ashramevery Saturday evening started from

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November; 1926. That day, along with thename of (Hari), the word “Ma” (Mother) wasadded for the first time. After a few day Kirtanwas arranged by turns in the houses of one orother of Mother’s devotees on each day of theweek.

During Kirtan at Shah-bag the words “Haribol“ figured prominently. I came to feel thatsince Mother is the supreme object of ourthoughts and adoration, all the prayers of oursoul are direc ted to Her and therefore the word“Ma” should be the basic element of our Kirtansongs. I expressed these thoughts to somepeople, but they did not pay any heed to what Isaid. I myself could not sing well. So I had todrop the matter for some time.

When Sri Anath Bandhu and BrahmachariKamala Kanta joined the Dhaka ashram, I askedthem to introduce the word “Ma” into theKirtan gradually. At that time, Sri. KuladaKanta Banerji came to Shah-bag. He had a deepregard for the performance of Hindu rites andrituals and was well versed in them. He toohesitated to introduce such an innovation inKirtan. However, there was a combination ofthe names of Hari and “Ma” in some songs. It isreally difficult to alter our set habits, mentalmake-up and modes of expression. Specially inreligious matters, to allow oneself to run alongcustomary grooves is rather an easy affair formost people. Besides to shake off the chains oftradition requires considerable force of will.

At that time I reasoned within myself in thismanner: We try to concentrate our attention onMother’s figure, all our desires drive us to

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touch the dust of Her holy feet; an image of Herface floats before our minds’ eye; our ears straintheir utmost to catch every single syllable thatfalls from Her lips; all our love and reverenceflow in an unbroken stream towards Her Grace.In such a state of mind, if during Kirtan wesing Prana Gourang Nityananda (Gouranga,Nityananda is my life) aiso hey Gour, boso heyGour, amaar hridaya pranganey (Come 0Gour, sit down 0 Gour in the chamber of myheart) and roll on the floor overwhelmed withemotion, can there be any harmony and rhythmbetween our song and the flow of our love andreverence?

The aim of all worship or concentration isto give our many-sided tendencies a unifieddirection, to divert all our feeble stray desiresand longings towards the Divine Being weworship. Under these circumstances if, insteadof allowing our sentiments and thoughts tofloat away on fine imageries of the distant pastcalled up by various topics, tunes and melodiesof traditional songs, we try to concentrate onthe Living Presence of Mother throughthoughts, tunes and songs directly bearing onHer name and personal imageries that haveconstant appeal for us all, a new inspiration willenliven our worship and Kirtan . We shall beable to obtain repose and attract Her Grace;

If we mean to be real devotees of Mother,we should be capable of reviving in the Kirtanwith the “Ma” -name only, the ardour andstrength, the beauty and harmony ofVaishnavite composers of old. The word “Ma”is a natural word that forms spontaneously on

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the lips of a child from his very birth. It is thenatural derivative of (Om) and is the breath ofour life. The first cry of a child, as he emergesfrom the womb of his Mother, is ‘Om-Mawhich is the same as Om. It is the one sound-symbol for all human beings to draw theattention of the mother to her child.

If we really feel that Mother is the presidingDeity of our world, then Kirtan of the name of“Ma” should be the easiest and most naturalmode of worship for us.

At about this time I composed thefollowing song. adding the name ‘Ma’ toordinary Kirtan songs. Its translation runs thus

In joy and sorrow, in happiness and miseryCall out Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma,Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma,

When the child drops from the mother’s wombMother places the child on her lapAnd initiates him with the mantra Om,He learns to babble out ‘Ma, Ma, Ma’.You learn to stand on your own legs,And come gradually to forget the first word,which started your life.Therefore you search in the Vedas and

Tantras,to find out

The limit of the limitless ‘Ma’.If you ever desire to learn the truth of yourheart,Merge all names and forms in the “Ma”mantra,Say always ‘Ma, Ma’ and let your eyes

swim in

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flood of tears,Find in Sri Anandamayi Ma the final refugeof your life’s journey.

Towards the beginning of 1928, I was at

Giridih. One morning both Pitaji and Motherdropped in. I pointed out to them that ourashram should have a special mode of prayerwith a specific divine sound-symbol, as allashrams have their specific forms of Kirtan .The one person round whom all the activities ofthe ashram revolve, should serve as a centre togive unitary direction to all bhajans and kirtansthere. When such a harmony is set up, ourefforts for spiritual uplift will receive newmomentum. With a combination of “Han” and“Ma” several kirtan songs were composed, andit was settled that one song should be sent toKulada Babu at Dhaka. After Mother left, I wasabout to senda song to him, when I felt, an inner urge to try a

new tune exclusively with the “Ma” name.It took the following form of chorus,—

Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma,

Call (Dako) Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma,Say (Bolo) Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma,Sing (Gao) Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma,Worship (Bhajo) Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma,Pray (Japo) Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma.Call, Say, Sing, Worship , Pray Ma, Ma,

Ma. When this was sent to Kulada Babu at

Dhaka, he wrote to say that the composition

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had made much impression and that it had beenintroduced into the Kirtan of the ashram.

This is the starting-point of the new form ofKirtan with the “Ma” sound-symbol. Without asense of keen desire for Mother’s Grace duringHer absence, real performance was not possible.When these songs were composed, Mother wasaway from Dhaka for several months. Herdevotees were passing through keen pangs ofseparation. The intense desire of the Bhaktas tohave Mother back in their midst made thosesongs so sweet and touching!

After the Ramna ashram had beenestablished, the Sanskrit hymns that hademanated from Mother’s lips during the state ofdeep concentration, were sung during bhajantime. Towards the close of 1931 (Agrahayan1336 B.E.) Mother called me to Her side andsaid, “The hymns which you recite duringbhajan time are incomplete, owing to yourinability to note down all the thoughts andexpressions that issued from my lips. Can’t youtry some other composition ?“

I obeyed Her command and came to theconclusion, that a song in Bengali would havea better appeal to a Bengali audience, than aSanskrit one. Inspired by Her, the followingsong took shape one night at about 3 A.M.

The translation of the song is given below:

Glory to Thee, Sri Anandamayi Ma,who dwellest in every soul, who art absolutepurity through eternity.

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Thy lustre, Mother Nirmala, illumines the universe with the radiance of all heavenlyvirtues;Thou art Gouri incarnate, queen of all kinglyPower, symbolizing Om in Swaha and

Swadha ;Thou art, Mother, ever divinely graceful to alleyes and minds, ever-abiding and supremelybeautiful, ultimate reality behind themanifested universe.The Sun and the Moon, Mother, are Thy twineardrops, the deep blue of the immense skyThy hair and the universe Thy glorious body.Mother, Thou art the glamour of all the richesof the world, sweetness incarnate, and radiantwith all splendour of life.Thou holiest, Mother, all the gods andgoddesses in

Thy person, art as full of charms as Lakshmiis to Vishnu , with boundless peace, reposeand mercy.Mother, Thou art the dispenser of allhappiness and blessings of life, of divinewisdom, love and joys of salvation.The universe is Thy offspring; Thou dostnurse it in endless ways, and in the end dostmerge it all into Thy bosom, Mother.Thou art, Mother, the life of Thy devotees,Divine Grace incarnate, the deliverer of thisworld and the two next.Thou art the spring of all actions; Thou

expressest Thyself in all activities, artbeyond all synthesis and differences and artthe prime mover of all divine forces.

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All wisdom derives its charm from the sweetwords of Thy lips, Mother; Thou art thecharmer of all saints; all terrors of the worldvanish at Thy glance.All the mantras, all the Vedas reveal Thypower; Thou art the sustainer of all theworlds with Thy presence, Mother.

All gunas and forms emanate from Thee,Mother, but Thou art beyond all these anddost represent one Universal creativeThought -impulse.The entire world sings always the hymn ofThy Grace, is ever thrilled with Thy touch.

Let all our hearts unite in a chorus of song tooffer our pranams to Thy holy feet and toproclaim Thy glory over and over again,Mother, for ever.

ON THE WAY TO NEW LIFE

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Since my first meeting with Mother, Herever joyful, simple and soothing countenancecast such an ineffable charm over my life thateven in the midst of various distractions andexcitements through which I passed, I came toforget all my worries and temptations. Therewas only one consuming desire—to obtain aparticle of Her Grace. Like the upward surgingwaves of the ocean, there was a deep outburstof my heart, roaring day and night towards Herfeet and drowning all the tumults of the world.At times if I could shout “Ma Ma” like amadman and shed tears for Her and sing Herglory, I would find great relief. But suchopportunities I could hardly get in my home.

As I have seen in Mother’s physical bodyvarious unprecedented Bhavas ( transformation ofthe body under the pressure of supramental forces] “, Iwas struck with joy and wonder in Herpresence. Before Her I came to feel that I wasbut an infant or an almost helpless, poorbeggar, absolutely unfit to sit at Her feet. In factin my whole life I could never sit down in Herpresence. I always used to stand at a distance.Every morning I was fortunate enough to havethe first darshan of Her feet, because very fewpeople could go to the ashram so early. Onsome mornings I found Mother sitting alone onone side of Her bed with all the langour ofsleep still over Her eye-lids; sometimes Herbright eyes and sweet face seemed to radiatemotherly affection and grace profusely on allmen; or on other occasions Her looks at dawnwore all the serenity and grace of a lovelyautumn sky in the morning, infinitely bright

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and blue, yet quite isolated from the things ofthe world. The expression of Her face changedconstantly with the transformations in Her innerthoughts and emotions. At times She wouldlook like an old lady; again, in the midst ofplayful frolics and the loud laughter of a gleefulgirl, She would suddenly assume such serious,thoughtful and determined looks as wouldarouse awe and fear in us. In this state Her bodywould assume such unusual dimensions, Herface wore such a solemn expression that itwould make us all feel that Mother Rudrani[consort of Shiva the God of destruction and dissolutionwearing grim looks] was possessing Her wholebeing. At that time Her wild laughter, Herrolling eyes, and the movements of Her limbsall conspired together to strike terror in ourhearts. Yet after a short while Her naturalexpression of joy and sweetness was restored.

At all times however, I would feel such anattraction for Mother that if I failed to go to Herone day, I would be ill at ease and my mindwould seek the earliest opportunity to obtainshelter and repose at Her feet. It appeared to methat She was ever calling out to my soul,“Come, come to me”, and was constantly watching me, with Her eyesever intent on my welfare.

On many days I tried with a strong will toblack out all thoughts of Her, but She mockedat every such perverse attempts of mine andcaptured my mind and reasoning faculty all themore. I felt exhausted by such attempts and was

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left dumb and inert like a lump of clay. I couldnot find any means to slake my thirst forMother’s affection. Thus I began to grow weakand my body hastened towards a crisis.

At last on the 4th of January, 1927 I fell ill.At the very start I began to feel an acute pain inthe region of my heart. No medicine could giveme relief. Mother came to see me one day andplaced Her gentle, soothing hand upon mychest. All my pains subsided with the touch.But the disease continued to take a more andmore serious turn. Doctors said, I haddeveloped T.B. A few days later Mother cameto me one night, sat by my bed-side and saidsomething by Herself. Long afterwards I learntfrom Mother that She had said to the disease[Mother says each disease its specific appearance asdistinctly visible to Her as a material form] Thou hastdone what thou couldst. Stop from nowonwards.” From that time Mother ceased tocome to me. During the last few months ofacute suffering I had not the good fortune to seeHer.

It was necessary for me. The keen desire tosee Mother made me forget the pain due to theillness, my mind in those days hovered roundHer feet day and night. She pervaded my wholebeing both inwardly and outwardly. Later I wastold that Mother said one day at Shah-bag, Shesaw blood on all people’s lips. On hearing thisremark Pitaji at once came to see me at night. Iwas then vomiting blood and all my strengthwas nearly spent. On many occasions Motherused to guide me with Her suggestions for a

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remedy, long before She was informed verballyabout the changes in my illness.

One night a very acute crisis came on. Thedoctors in attendance declared my case to behopeless. It was 2 A.M. Heavy rain fell intorrents with a deafening noise. Dogs werebarking to make the gloom more frightful. Ibegan to see dreadful visions, all the hairs onmy body stood on end. At that time I saw asclearly as in broad daylight Mother sitting onthe right side of my pillow. An agreeablesurprise stole in upon me. Before the first spellof surprise was over, I found Mother passingHer hands over my head. It was so soothing Inan instant I fell into a deep sleep.

From that day on, for about eight to tenmonths as long as I was confined to bed, Iwould always feel that Mother sat on my bednear the pillow with a very calm, serene faceand would not hand me over to death.

Sometimes when for hours together I couldnot stand the pain of coughing followed by thespitting of blood, I sued to repeat the name ofMother and soon the intensity of the painwould pass off.

During my illness Mother askedBrahmachari Jogesh to go out for one year toWestern India and live on alms only, withoutany fixed habitation. It might possibly havebeen intended to divert some of my sufferings.

After some months of illness when Ioccupied a Government house near Shah-bag,Mother left for Hardwar to attend the KumbhMela. My illness had a second serious set-backand a telegram was sent to Mother at Rishikesh.

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But She did not come. I learnt afterwards thatwhen Pitaji was anxious about me, She said tohim, “I have seen Jyotish lying on my lap,quite unconcerned about his illness.”

After about five months of treatment Iwanted to test how much strength I hadacquired through medical skill. I tried to walk afew steps leaning against the wall of the room.The strain of it caused profuse vomiting ofblood the same evening. When the doctor wasinformed, he left instructions with the inmatesof my house that I must lie flat on my bed.

Four or five days later Mother returned toDacca and came to see me. She enquired, “Howdo you feel now ?“ I said, “I have not muchpain now, but I feel very uncomfortable owingto my not having had a cold bath for a longtime. It was the month of Vaisakh. The heatwas grilling. Mother sat for some time and thenleft. Next day at about 1 p.m. She came againwith Pitaji . At that time everybody in thehouse was asleep. My daughter, aged 11 or 12,who was posted to keep watch over me, wasalso fast asleep. Mother said, “You wanted tobathe; if you are keen on it, there is a tankyonder, go there and have a good bath.”

That tank was about 60 to 80 yards away.As soon as I heard Mothers words, a newstrength was infused into my frail body withlove and devotion for Her. My body then wasbut a skeleton. The warning of the physiciannot to leave my bed flashed through my mindfor a moment and vanished away. In thiscondition as I tottered trying to stand up and

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take another loin-cloth to put on after the bath,Pitaji at once caught hold of me and led me tothe tank. The floor of my house was above 4 ft.above the ground level. I got down the stairsand walked the whole distance. It was a reservetank with the University Muslim BoardingHouse standing on its bank. There was also anotice put up by the P.W. Department to theeffect that it must not be used for bathing andwashing. But that day no inmate of theBoarding House could be seen. In my housetoo everybody was asleep; I got down into thetank and had a delightful bath. On returning tomy quarters I spread out the wet cloth on theline hung up for drying clothes and lay downon the bed taking rest.

No sooner had I spread myself on mybedstead than my daughter awoke. She foundMother sitting by her side. As I walked throughthe lawn to have a bath, numerous seeds oflove-thorn grass (Chorkanta) stuck to the loin-cloth I wore. When my servant Khagen saw thecloth studded with those thorns, his naturalinference was that I had walked across the lawnat noon. This was brought to the notice of mywife, who showed that cloth to Mother andcomplained to Her that I had walked on thelawn at midday against the doctor’s expressprohibition.

Mother began to laugh without saying aword. I was really struck with surprise,wondering how I could walk across the openlawn to have a dip in the tank in broad daylightquite unnoticed by anybody and how I couldget the strength to stand such an effort. It was a

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feat quite beyond my comprehension. Afterthree or four months when I left Dhaka for achange to a healthier climate, I told Niranjan allabout it. Subsequently when after recovery Iresumed my duties at the office, I stated the factto my physicians who discredited the storyaltogether. My wife did not at first believe iteither. When I described to them the full storythey finally came to believe it.

Whilst the disease was in full swing, Ideveloped a very strong desire to eat boiledrice. The attending physicians would not allowme to have it. Niranjan appealed to Mother,saying,—”Ma, Jyotish wants to take boiled rice;the doctors won’t allow it. If he dies, we shallhave one great grief that we could not satisfythis desire of his before his death.” Motherlaughed and said, “When Jyotish has a desirefor it, he should be given rice’. After a few daysPitaji brought some boiled rice from Shah-bagand made me eat it, but nobody noticed it.

In those days Mother used to come to seeme once every day. One morning Mother camevery early and after She had left, BrahmachariKamalakanta brought me some champakflowers. It was with regret that I looked at theflowers, because 1 would not have anopportunity that day to offer them at Her feetwith my own hands. In the afternoon KuladaBabu brought me a lovely rose. The samepainful thought recurred. The rose was kept onthe table by the side of the champak flowers.That such lovely flowers could not be placed atMothers feet disappointed me much. Just at thattime Mother suddenly entered my room, went

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to the table and stood reclining to the left. Shegazed at me for three or four minutes quiteabsent-mindedly and then left. I thoughtMother had taken the flowers. The rose wasmissing. Next day when She came I enquiredabout it. She said, “I don’t quite know what Itook, but I must have taken something fromhere. I went to the house of the zamindar ofDhankora and gave something to a womanthere; then I went to the house of a DeputyMagistrate where a woman was ill and I leftsomething there too.” Afterwards, I came tolearn that at the first house She had given therose and at the second a champak flower. Thesick lady recovered soon.

In this connection Mother said, “Intensehankering after the Divine is the core of allworship, of all prayer. In our heart lie eternalsprings of divine power and in our efforts liethe roots of all the creative, preservative anddestructive urges of Being.”

I am just reminded of another incident.During my illness Pitaji ordered that every daysome rice prasad should be sent to me fromShah-bag; but it was offered at about 2 p.m.and the prasad used to reach my house muchlater. Everybody in my home got annoyed tofind me waiting for prasad so late in the day.On a particular day there was some adversecriticism of the whole arrangement at my house.It caused me so much pain that I came to feelthere was no need of prasad being brought tomy house in the face of so much disgust andcriticism amongst the members of my family.The day wore on; it was 2 A.M. at night. No

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prasad had arrived form Shah-bag. It occurredto me that my reluctance to have prasad withso much trouble was most probably the causefor the stopping of the arrangement. I wept andwept on my bed and the prasad arrived in half-an-hour. I learnt that Mother had just risen fromHer bed and ordered, “Go quickly, carryprasad to Jyotish at once.” I was given tounderstand later that when during the precedingmidday Mother’s permission was sought tosend prasad as usual, She said, “No”. So thepractice of sending it was interrupted. In thisconnection Mother said, “I don’t do anythingof my own will; you laugh and weep accordingto your impulses and your desires are fulfilled”.

During my illness I went to Vindhyachalfor a change. I happened to meet Mother atCalcutta on my way and requested Her to gothere too. She did not agree. On reachingVindhyachal I passed one whole night weepingfor Her. Just one day later Mother and Pitajiarrived there.

Mother remarked in this connection, “Theaim of all religious practices is to sublimate allegoistic impulses and give them a unifieddirection towards the Divine. As soon as theego ceases to function, the “Eternal Thou” willtake its place.

From Vindhyachal I went to Chunar.Mother also went there. One day She said,“Don’t you often go out for a walk ?“ I replied,“I am too weak to move about. How can I ?“Next dawn She took me out with Her for awalk. On the level plains as well as on low hillswe walked five to six miles and returned at 11

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A.M. While coming down-hill, I felt very weakand could hardly walk. Mother turned roundand said,—”Our house is not far off.” In tenminutes’ time an Ekka (country vehicle drawnby a horse) turned up quite unexpectedly in asmall lane; otherwise we would have had towalk one mile more to reach a carriage-stand. Iwas afraid that the great strain due to such along walk might aggravate my illness. But nosuch thing happened.

Mother said a little while later,—”Both inthis work-a-day world as well as in the spiritualsphere, patience is the crown of life.”

At a little distance from my house Pitaji,Mother and myself sat on a lawn. Mother saidShe would like to bathe with the water drawnfrom the well near the fort. She began to pressfor it like a little child. I said, “Let me call myservant.” She replied, “No, you must not.” I feltpuzzled. .For in those places people finishdrawing water from the wells before sun-down.I felt sorry at the prospect that I would not beable to carry out Mother’s wishes. But to mysurprise a man with a lantern turned up at thewell to draw water. He was persuaded to getwater for Mother’s bath.

Mother said,—”Whatever you seek can beobtained provided the thirst for the object ofyour desire pervades every fibre of your being.”

During my illness I spent some days atGiridih. I became very restless for Mother oneday, only to find to my surprise that Motherwith Her whole party arrived the next morning.

After this change I returned to Calcutta. Myphysicians advised me to pass the remaining

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few days of my life at some healthy place. Eventhen there was spitting of blood when Icoughed.

Mother ordered,—”Go back to your desk inthe office and resume your duties there.” I wentto Dhaka both Pitaji and Mother accompaniedme to the office and went back, after seating mein my own chair.

At that time Mr. Finlow was the Director ofthe Agricultural Department as well as my boss.He loved me and had a great regard for me. Hetold me,—”Do as much office work as you can;send the rest to my desk.” He enquired, “Well,just tell me how you have recovered from thatfell disease?“ I said in reply, “It is through thegrace of Mataji who lives at the Ramna ashramover there. She did not give me any medicine;though I followed the doctor’s prescription, Hermercy was my only saving.” He said,—“Amongst our people also one hears of similarinstances. I believe what you say.”

One evening an old neighbour of mine,aged about 80 years, Shyama Charan Mukherjiby name, came to my place. When theconversation turned upon Mother, I said, “It isthrough Her grace alone that I happen to be stillalive.” He blurted out, “Can one throughanybody ’s grace live longer than one’spredestined span ?“ In the course of thisdiscussion he suddenly became silent and wentaway a few seconds later. He returned nextmorning to say, “Do you know why I left yourplace so abruptly ? When we were talkingabout Mother, I found on the back rest of yourchair an oval bright light like that of the sun. At

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that time there was darkness outside and nolight in the room. I looked about and could nottrace the source of such a light at that hour; so Idecided to ponder over the phenomenon beforetelling you about it. After careful thought Ihave come to the conviction that everything ispossible through the grace of a saintly person.Really, She has been protecting you all along.”

A few months after first seeing Mother,Niranjan told Her at Shah-bag, “Ma, we veryfrequently think that after your ashram isstarted, both myself and Jyotish will live thereas brahmacharis during our next birth.”Mother looked at me and asked~—”Why areyou silent ? Won ’t you be able to do so even inthis body ?”

Some three or four years later, when Iresumed my duties after recovery, Motherreminded me of the above talk and said, “Justthink, how you have had your rebirth.” ThenMother took a golden chain from Her neck andplaced it on mine, saying, “From this dayonward know it for certain that you are abrahmachari and that you have had yourrebirth.”

The little hut, eight by five and a halfcubits, with verandahs on all sides, which I hadcreated in the ashram According to my ownideas, was used by Mother. She would liedown on the two long verandahs on either side.She told me that I had been one of thesannyasis who used to dwell on that site, andthe spot which I had unconsciously chosen forbuilding the hut for Mother, was the very place

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where I had passed my life during my previousbirth.

I feel that it was my unique good luck tofind Mother’s physical body resting on the veryspot where I had carried on my sadhanaduring my previous existence. Probably mykarma had directed such a course; for when Ifirst saw Mother She appeared to me to embodyall gods and goddesses in Her person and I feltthat She had been my presiding Goddess allthrough the series of my previous births.

From the latter part of 1929 for full threeyears I used to go to Ramna very early in themorning with a desire to see Her first. For thispurpose I rose from bed at 2 a.m. finished myusual prayers and worship by 4-30 a.m. andthen went out. On certain days it so happenedthat I confusedthe two hands of my watch and misread thetime and started much earlier. Hearing the clockstrike in some adjacent house on the way, Irealised that I had started far too early. In thatcase I would walk in the Ramna fields or sit atthe gate of Ramna Kalibari, waiting for the lightof dawn. I entered the Ashram at 5 a.m. andwalked about in the fields with Mother,returning home at 10-30 or 11 a.m. On certaindays I came back at 12 noon or even 1 p.m..

I never sat in Mother’s presence. My wholebody remained erect with a thrill of inner joy.When I was asked by anybody to sit down, Ifelt quite embarrassed. Mother would usuallyremain quite silent during our morning rounds.She broke Her silence only in exceptional cases.

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I used to follow Mother’s footsteps without aword.

One day an old pleader, Babu AshwiniKumar Guha Thakurta by name, came there fora morning walk and said to Mother,—”I havecome, not to see you, Mother, but to meet yourpet lamb and to observe with my own eyeshow he comes to you so early every morningregardless of cold, heat, or rain and how hefollows your every footstep in mute silence.The very sight gives me great delight.” I toldhim,— “Kindly bless me so that I may pass therest of my life in this manner.” The old manclasped me to his bosom and said, “You arealready a blessed fellow.”

Sometimes there was a heavy downpourduring the early hours of the morning, but Inoticed on several occasions when I started withthe name of Mother on my lips, the rainfallceased for the time being and I had littledifficulty in reaching Her place. During therainy weather or through the dense fog ofwinter there was no obstacle whatever for me towalk with Mother every morning for full threehours.

There was a time when the Hindu-Moslemriot was rife at Dhaka. Before the outbreakstarted Mother one day exclaimed,—”Terrible !Monstrous !“ When I enquired about theimport of such expressions She said,—”Allover the town I hear wild shrieks, lamentationand wailing.” But even when the communalbitterness was at its highest, I did not stop mmorning walks. My neighbour Sri BhawaniPrasad Neogi used to look upon me as his

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younger brother. He warned me one day,saying, “I remain very anxious for you till youreturn. Stabbing, murder, assaults are the orderof the day throughout the city. Is it proper foryou to walk out alone in such an atmosphere?“

I used to reflect that as Mother did not sayanything against my morning visits, there wasno fear for me. So I continued the usual routineof my life.

One day I was no the way to the Dhakaashram. The street lamps were burning. Therewas no man in the street. I passed by the DakBungalow and walked about 100 yards further,when I noticed a stout fellow wrapped up in apiece of cloth slinking from behind aMahogany tree; he was following me.

I asked him where he was going; he repliedthat he would go with me. I let him know that Iwas going to Ramna ashram; he said that he toowould go there. His manner looked suspiciousand I was very frightened. Suddenly , Iscreamed, “No, you must not go with me !“Saying this I strode on fast without looking inany direction. After I had gone far, I turnedround and found that the man stood motionlesslike a log of wood on the spot where I had lefthim. When I reached the ashram, I foundMother standing at the gate with Her lovingsteadfast gaze directed towards me. I fell at Herfeet and let Her know the details. She did notsay a single word. I came to learn afterwardsthat there had been a murder in that veryquarter.

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TO DISTANT LANDS

We can observe in every walk of life that

three things are necessary for success in thestruggle for existence:— a noble aim, steadydetermination, whole-hearted devotion to duty.Even though in some cases, no tangible successmay be achieved by these virtues, at least thedisposition to do good and substantial work isdeveloped thereby which bears fruit at theearliestopportunity .

After returning to my duties in the office Ipassed three years in full harness. One day atthe ashram Mother took a flower, and pluckingaway all its petals, She said to me, “Many ofyour samskaras have dropped away and manymore will fall off like the petals of this flower,till I shall remain as your main prop, just likethe one stalk of this flower; do you understand?“ Saying this She began to laugh. I enquired,“Ma, how can I reach that state ?“ She replied,—”Every day try to live with this idea; youneed not do anything else.”

Really speaking, this thought sank deepinto my soul and remained with me throughoutthe regular routine of my life. All the scatteredthoughts were gradually directed to one end.Though various ideas often brought aboutdistraction, yet there was great eagerness in meto keep myself steadily fixed to the master-

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thought that Mother was there in me like mybackbone. From this I became convinced thatwhat a man achieved by constant religiouspractice, by mental isolation from the objects ofsense, could be accomplished through thepower of one word from a saintly person.

After some six or seven months Mother saidto me one day during our morning walk,—”Listen, your active life is coming to a close.”I heard it but it did not evoke any deepresponse in me.

At that time Sri Bhagawan ChandraBrahmachari too used to say to me veryfrequently,—”Get ready, a saint is comingdown from the Himalayas to take you away.”He had a childlike nature and I thought he wasmaking fun.

A few months later I went on leave for fourmonths. I was on the look out for a hill stationto have a change. In the meantime on the 2ndof June, 1932, at about 10-30 P.M. Mothercalled me through Brahmachari Jogesh andenquired if I could accompany Her. I wanted toknow where She desired me to go. Her replywas, “Anywhere I choose to.” I kept silent. Sheadded, “Why are you silent?“ I mused over thefact that I could not inform anybody about thematter. So under the pull of the world, I said, “Ishall have to get money from home.” Mothersaid, “Collect from here what you can get.” Isaid, “All right”, with my lips; but I felt that myson and wife peeped out from the depth of myheart saying, “Where are you going, leaving usall?“

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However, with one blanket, one coverlet,one durrie, one loin-cloth I started with Motherand Pitaji. On reaching the station Mother said,“Book tickets right up to the terminus of thisline.” We booked for Jagannathgunge. Onreaching there next day Mother said, “Crossover to the other bank.” From there we left forKatihar. I had only a few rupees left, but quiteunexpectedly I met an old friend who gave meRs.100/-, and a large quantity of fruits andsweets. From there we went to Lucknow, andthen boarded the Dehradun Express. On thefollowing day, after arriving at Dehradun werested at a Dharmasala . It was a new place. allpeople were strangers and everything appearednew to me.

Mother said, “I find everything old.” Wherewe should go next was quite uncertain. In theafternoon Pitaji and I went out for a walk andcame to know that there was a Kali templenearby. We went there and were told that somethree or four miles away in the village of Raipurstood a Shiva temple which was quite solitaryand a fit place for a secluded life. By drift ofcircumstances one Pandeji of Raipur came tomeet us. We had a talk with him andaccompanied him to Raipur the next morning.Pitaji liked the place. When Mother’s opinionwas sought, She said, “You settle it yourselves,for me all places are good.” From the morningof Wednesday, June 8, 1932, both Mother andPitaji began to live in the temple.

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SRI SRI MA.

It is beyond our common intelligence tocomprehend what Mother stands for and whatShe is in reality Though She always says, “I amonly a senseless daughter of yours”. Still in allHer ways of life, in Her ever delightful Lilaamongst us, all the powers of the Divine findexpression in tangible forms.

In Mother, we find in Her a perennialfountain of joy and sweetness though She issurrounded day and night by the noise andbustle and a thousand entreatiesof all classes ofpeople. Her calm and serene looks, Hergracious, ever smiling responses to all queries,Her playful humour, bring satisfaction anddelight to every soul. Her ways of life are souniversal and all embracing that She may becalled Motherly Love incarnate.

Some say that She is the Supreme Goddessof the Universe in human form. Some are ofopinion that She has reached perfection throughspontaneous psychic evolution without anyeffort on Her part. To us She appears to bewhat everybody considers Her to be. At the firstsight of Her one becomes animated with areligious fervour, even if one happens to bealmost impervious to spiritual ideas. In Herpresence thoughts of God and His Gloryflourish with all their brilliance in hearts as dryas dust and the vibrations of one universal, all-

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pervading life overpower one’s heart as it Werewith endless surges like a vast ocean of bliss.

When at one time She was asked as to whoHer preceptor was, or from whom She had Herinitiation, She remarked, “In earlier years myparents were my guides; in household life myhusband; and now in every situation of life allmen and things of the world are my Guru. Butknow it for certain, the one Supreme Being isthe only Guide for all.”

From the standpoint of worldly peopleMother is an ideal daughter, wife and mother;to an aspirant after spiritual life Her words andbehaviour have deep significance indicatingvarious modes of spiritual culture and of Yogicpractices as well as the basic truths of dualism,monism and dualistic monism and Otherphilosophic doctrines. The physical changesthat become manifest in Her body lead one tothe inference that She is a confirmedVaishnava ; in the Tantric worship of Shiva,Kali, Durga and other gods and goddesses orin the performance of Vedic religious sacrificesShe has evoked admiration from eminentphilosophers of the East and the West. Theonly difference that is disclosed betweenMother and the Great Masters who havereached perfection through Bhakti Yoga , JnanaYoga or Karma Yoga in their special lines, liesin the fact that in Mother all the three paths ofsadhana have reached a wonderful synthesis. Itis through this harmony of the various modesof approach to the Divine that all types ofpeople receive inspiration from Her presence.

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Her genial and sweet appearance, Heruncommon patience and endurance, Her spiritof sacrifice and simplicity, Her ever-joyful,humorous ways of dealing with men, womenand children, Her unsullied, clear vision,meaning good to all living beings, Her even-handed dealings, softened by love for all menirrespective of caste, creed, community andnationality, Her absolute freedom frompleasure, pain and the like, make Her a uniquefigure in modern times; one cannot say that Shehas attained perfection through self-effort; for,those who have watched Her from Her infancyassert that She has been the same in Herthoughts and actions all through Her life.Nobody has yet noticed that She has performedany spiritual or religious exercise of any kind.

Those natural or super-natural phenomenathat become manifest in Her, through Herbodily expressions, are but the spontaneousoutcome of Her desire to secure the welfare ofall human beings. Those manifestations do notdepend upon Her will nor do they functionagainst it, nor are they the result of anydevotional effort on Her part. When clarifiedbutter with other oblations are offered to the fireon the altar, the flame flares up by a natural law,but the perfume that emanates, purifies andenlivens the whole atmosphere. After a littlewhile no trace of the sacrificial offeringsremains, but the flames keep on burning inpurity and brightness. In exactly the samemanner when Mother’s devotees bring theirofferings to Her feet with the best of their loveand reverence, the very touch of these gifts,

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causes the fountain of Her heart to burst forth,like the natural flow of milk from the mother’sbreast at the touch of her infant’s lips. So in thecase of Mother, Her speech, Her looks, Her faceall become moistened with love for Herchildren; and with a divine flame Her facebrightens up for a time and soon after resumesits normal composure.

There is no conflict in Her, no urge toaction or inaction disturbs the serenity of Herwill. She is completely enveloped by a glow ofthat Supreme Truth which forms the bed-rockof all principles and practices of religion and ofthe moral codes of the world and which hasbeen revealed to the human mind in differentages for the good of the universe. A glimpse ofthat Truth, a suggestion thereof, shines forth inall Her actions, words and songs. Her lifeillustrates the great fact how man, while doinghis everyday duties meekly, joyfully, andmaintaining social relations fully can yetadvance on the spiritual plane.

A time has arrived for us to take stock of the

amount of good that is being done to our sociallife by crowds of people that are swelling thenumber of sannyasis and sadhus. Stepping outof the boundaries of family life and the pale ofcivic rights and responsibilities, to try to openup easy paths of spiritual uplift for family,society and nation is not a very simple matter.There are persons who have reached high levelsof spiritual greatness by retiring from the worldand living a life of seclusion in solitary ashrams

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or mountain caves. Their individual greatnessdoes not pull up the general level of culture ofthe masses of people to any appreciable extent,nor are the standards of mass-life raised higher.Through their inspiration many ashrams areestablished in different centres of the country,the spires of the temples erected therein mayshoot up high into the sky, the glamour ofworship and the hymns and devotional musicsung morning and evening induce many peoplefrom far and near to spend more and moremoney upon the enterprise, free distribution ofprasad may attract crowds of hungry men likeflies from the surrounding regions; but theinfluence of such institutions built up at theexpense of so much labour and money hardlygoes to make our social life healthier andbrighter, neither by spreading knowledge andliteracy nor greater love for men nor again, byfostering a more ardent desire for the lifeDivine.

Our society is getting more and morecrippled through mutual jealousy, rivalry andpetty squabbles over trifles. Those who arestrong at heart with a spirit of socialresponsibility and selfless service hardly findscope for real and efficient social work, beinghalf paralysed by stagnant, social ideas of theclass seclusion of orthodox olden times. On theother hand one meets at every step oppositionto all efforts at reform. The culture by whichphysical and mental health is made secure,which makes man strong and hardy throughrealisation of God’s grace in all the walks oflife, which refines and transforms our narrow,

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selfish impulses into an unselfish spirit ofservice and self-sacrifice irrespective of casteand creed is fast disappearing from our countryand there is hardly any doubt that the scope andfield of such culture is gradually shrinkingamongst us.

It is time for us to enquire as to what hasbrought about such a state of affairs. We havefallen into the narrow grooves of time-worncults and prejudices. The ideas and ideals ofolden times and those of the present age havemet face to face and have produced a slack-water in our social and religious life. Motherstands at the parting of ways.

We always find in Mother’s life and in allHer activities an ardent desire to secure thewelfare of the world, throwing the burden oflooking after Her body upon others andreleasing Herself completely from all cares forHer own bodily comforts and ease. She hasthus made Herself absolutely free to advancethe cause of the helpless and oppressed, of thesick and destitute, as well as to help the rich andpowerful who ever suffer from the variousphysical and mental maladies of their surfeitedand pampered lives.

Her life is an eye-opener to us all. Sheshows by Her everyday activities how we canlink every minute detail of life with the Infiniteand how we can cultivate a new spirit, a newoutlook in our relations with men and thingsand make this world a place of new joy andhope and peace.

From the worldly standpoint She possessesnothing to call Her own. All places of the

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common man, temples, dharmasalas, publicashrams and huts are now Her only places ofresidence,—places where all people from thehighest to the lowest may flock freely to Herwithout any obstruction. She has devotedHerself wholly and completely to the good ofthe world. All living beings are Her own kithand kin. She says, as mentioned previously, “Ifind the whole world to be one vast garden,you are all flowers blooming in this gardenwith your individual beauty and grace. I moveabout from one corner of it to another. Whatmakes you feel so sad when I leave you, onlyto be in the midst of your brothers over there?“

On another occasion She said, “I have noneed of doing or saying anything; there neverwas any need, neither is there now, nor willthere ever be in future. What you foundmanifested in me in the past, what you see nowand what will be observed in the future is onlyfor the good of you all. If you think that thereis something peculiarly my own, I must tell youthat the whole world is my own.”

The glories of the creative activities of theUniversal Mother that we find revealedeverywhere in this world, can be noticed in allHer words and actions, in Her social intercoursewith all classes of people everywhere. To thosewho are devoted to Her, She is like a little childdemanding tokens of their love for Her; tothose who are distressed owing to disease orother worldly troubles, Her motherly anxiety togive them relief takes shape in various acts ofredress. All these attitudes proceed from a

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reservoir of a mighty spiritual power alwaysworking in the background .

She has shown equal regard and reverencefor all religions, for all social institutions andlaws, for all types of education. This illustratesthe great truth that everything in this world isthe embodiment of one Supreme Being. Shesays, “All religious thoughts flow in onedirection, as all streams flow into one ocean;and we are all one.” If anybody puts thequestion to Her: “To what caste do youbelong ? Where is your home?“, Mother atonce answers with a laugh, “From your worldlystandpoint this body belongs to East Bengaland is Brahmin by caste; but if you think apartfrom these artificial distinctions, you willunderstand that this body is one of the membersof the one human family.”

At times She has been heard to say, “Havefaith in this body. Your whole hearted faith willopen your eyes.” She also says from time totime, “I know nothing. I say what you pourinto my ears.” And then, —“This body is but atoy-doll; just as the Master desires to play withit through you all, it goes on playing.”

From these and other remarks it is evidentthat in Her Person the power that lies behindthis phenomenal world has assumed shape. Heractivities emanate from one fountainhead andflow back into it. She has no sense of duality.She often says, “You are the epitome of theUniverse”; at another time She was heard todeclare, “I am Truth Infinite.”

On one occasion She said, “Is there anyessential difference between myself and

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yourself ? Because He is, the conception of Iand you has sprung up.” If with staunch faith,strong devotion and a heart overflowing withlove, anyone of you can exclaim, “Mother,come, come to me Mother, I cannot pass mydays without you,” rest assured, the UniversalMother will spread out Her arms towards youand clasp you to Her bosom. Don’t look up toHer only as a mysterious refuge in your hour ofdistress. Remember always She is very, verynear you, guiding all the forces of your life.With that conviction proceed,—She will takethe brunt of all your responsibilities from yourshoulders and give you strength to bear thecross.

mother as revealed to me - sadgurus - sages - …€¦ · mother as revealed to me ... i trust,...

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