murphy brown spec

8/11/2019 Murphy Brown Spec

1/50

MURPHY BROWN

"THE SEXT"

Written by

Morgan Evans


2/50

MURPHY BROWN

"The Sext"

CAST

MURPHY BROWN........................................CANDICE BERGEN

PHIL....................................................PAT CORLEY

CORKY SHERWOOD..........................................FAITH FORD

JIM DIAL.........................................CHARLES KIMBROUGH

ELDIN BERNECKY...................................ROBERT PASTORELLI

FRANK FONTANA........................................JOE REGALBUTO

MILES SILVERBERG.......................................GRANT SHAUD

GUEST CAST

JIMMY FALLON...............................................HIMSELF

CARL BRINKLEY.......................................RITCH BRINKLEY

STAGE MANAGER.......................................

PHIL'S EXTRASBULLPEN EXTRASFYI CREW EXTRAS


3/50

MURPHY BROWN

"The Sext"

SETS

ACT ONE

Scene A - Montage

Scene A - Int. Bullpen - Morning

Scene A - Int. Murphy's Office - Continuous Action

Scene B - Int. Bullpen - Later That Day

Scene B - Int. Murphy's Office - Continuous Action

ACT TWO

Scene C - Int. Phil's - Dinner Time

Scene D - Int. "Late Night" Studio (Next Day)

Scene D - Int. "Late Night" Greenroom - Later

Scene E - Int. Bullpen - Morning

Scene E - Int. Townhouse - Night

Scene H - Int. Bullpen - Morning

Scene H - Int. FYI Set - Night

ACT THREE

Scene J - Int. FYI Set - Later

Scene K - Int. Phil's - Dinner Time


4/50

MURPHY BROWN

THE SEXT

#000000

ACT ONE

(A)

IN BLACKNESS:

MUSIC: THIS OLD HEART OF MINE BY THE ISLEY BROTHERS

SUPER TITLE: MURPHY BROWN

FADE IN:

MONTAGE

WE SEE SOME POLITICIANS/CELEBRITIES LIKE BILL CLINTON, TIGERWOODS, ANTHONY WEINER, PARIS HILTON, JOHN EDWARDS AND VERNETROYER GIVING PRESS CONFERENCES AFTER EMBARRASSING SEXUALSNAFUS.

DISSOLVE TO:

1.(A)


5/50

FADE IN:

INT. BULLPEN - MORNING(Miles, Murphy, Frank, Corky, Jim, Bullpen Extras)

MURPHY, FRANK AND CORKY SIT AT THE GLASS TABLE READINGNEWSPAPERS. JIM IS STIRRING HIS COFFEE AT THE COUNTER.

FRANK

This one is from the times. (READING)

Murphy Brown is at it again, this time

while moderating the 2012 Vice

Presidential Debate Paul Ryan teared

up when she asked him to state what

the function of a uterus was and he

failed to produce an answer. (LAUGHS)

MURPHY STANDS UP AND TAKES A BOW.

MURPHY

Wait a minute they didnt say anything

about Schieffer having Candy Crowley

pass me a love letter? What is this

the online edition?

2.(A)


6/50

JIM

USA Today said (READING) Having Murphy

on the airwaves is, as always, a

refreshing punch to the gut during a

time marked by soft questions and even

softer answers.

MURPHY SMILES.

MURPHY

Well thats not so bad!

CORKY

And look, US Weekly said you wore that

Valentino better than Cloris Leachman

and dont look a day over 65!

MURPHY DROPS HER HEAD.

CORKY (CONTD)

They called your cheekbones high and

barely

FRANK

(WARNING) Corky.

CORKY GOES QUIET.

SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS

THE ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN. MILES EXITS WITH A BIG BROWN BAG.

FRANK (CONTD)

(EAGER) Miles whats in that bag?

MILES

Nice to see you all too. My flight was

fine thanks for asking.

3.(A)


7/50

MURPHY

Are those our truffles?

CORKY HOPS UP.

MILES

There was slight turbulence but for

the most part everything was

relatively enjoyable.

CORKY GRABS MILES BY THE SHOULDERS.

CORKY

(YELLING) Theres no time for that

man! Murphy asked you a question! Are

those our truffles?!

MILES

Fine! Fine! Yes, I got your gosh darn

truffles.

HE PLOPS THEM DOWN ON THE TABLE. EVERYONE RAVAGES THEM.

JIM

Delicious.

MURPHY

I cant believe these are an hour

plane ride away from my mouth.

MILES

Hour and a half if you count the

turbulence. Funny thing about Delta,

you can reserve a seat but when its

actually time to claim it

4.(A)


8/50

JIM

Stuff it boy, were busy!

A RANDOM MAN EATS ONE.

MAN

Yum!

FRANK

Who are you?

MAN

I work here.

FRANK

Go away!

EVERYONE WATCHES THE MAN LEAVE.

MILES

Murphy arent you interested in how my

lunch with Mr. Burke went? Murphy?

MURPHY

(MOUTH FULL) No. You know we dont get

along anymore.

FRANK

What happened again?

JIM

Ah yes, during the bailouts Murphy

infiltrated the JP Morgan Chase

building and pretended to be a

janitor.

5.(A)


9/50

MURPHY

And I wouldve gotten away with it if

it werent for those lousy Dimon kids.

MILES

Well, he seems to have taken a liking

to you. After watching your debate

moderation in Kentucky he specifically

requested we put you on Late Night.

MURPHY SPITS OUT HALF-CHEWED TRUFFLES.

MURPHY

Say again?

MILES

Thats right! The ban has been lifted!

Drop whatever youre doing Wednesday

because youve got a flight to New

York.

MURPHY

Oh Miles, this is wonderful! Id hug

you if I werent so afraid your bones

would snap in half.

MILES

Thats fair.

FRANK

Boy, I remember when I was on Late

Night. Remember that Murph? You came

with me, scared all the guests, I got

bumped, those birds died...

6.(A)


10/50

MURPHY

I have to text Leonard! Hes going to

be so excited.

MURPHY TAKES HER PHONE OUT.

MILES

Leonard? Whos Leonard?

CORKY

Oh Miles, youre so dumb. Leonard is

Murphys new S.O.

MILES

I remember my first science olympiad.

I took third. Couldnt remember the

original representation for Boron.

MURPHY

Its B.O. and you have it!

MURPHY HEADS TO HER OFFICE SMILING. MILES SNIFFS HIMSELF.

MURPHYS SECRETARY IS A FEMALE GOTH TEENAGER. MURPHY STOPS,ALMOST SAYS SOMETHING, BUT THINKS BETTER OF IT AND SLAMS THEDOOR.

JIM

I believe S.O. is what the kids refer

to as a significant other.

MILES LAUGHS A LITTLE TOO HARD.

MILES

Thats rich! Murphy dating again?

After the last one?

FRANK

Hey, wounds heal Miles.

7.(A)


11/50

MILES

Tell that to the guy she sent to the

ICU.

CORKY

Oh I think its great Murphy is seeing

someone. You remember how lonely she

got once Avery went away to college.

JIM

Dont remind me. Im still deleting

voice-mails.

MILES

Well, good for her. I too am seeing

someone. Her name is Charliza and we

met in the Delta terminal

FRANK

(DISMISSIVE) Thanks for the truffles

Miles.

MILES

Oh. OK. Ill just go then.

MILES TURNS AROUND.

MILES (CONTD)

With the second ticket to Late Night

which would count as a paid vacation.

CORKY/PHIL/FRANK

Wait!

MILES SPINS BACK AROUND WITH THE TICKET HELD HIGH.

8.(A)


12/50

MILES

You rang?

CORKY

Ill take it! Frank got to go last

time.

FRANK

I was barely on the show!

JIM

Once Jimmy Fallon told me we

had a connection.

THEY ALL LOOK AT JIM.

JIM

It was after the Emmys. We were all

very sleepy.

CORKY

Ill take it!

CORKY JUMPS AT IT.

MILES

Well settle this the only way I know

how.

EVERYONE SIGHS.

MILES (CONTD)

Thats right. Miles Silverberg trivia

time.

CORKY

Miles no one knows the answers to your

questions!

FRANK

Theyre all about you!

9.(A)


13/50

MILES

And this one will be no different.

(PERFORMING) Now, whoever guesses

correctly will be accompanying Murphy

Brown to her Late Night debut after

a ban that lasted the longer part of a

decade. They said it couldnt be done,

they said it

FRANK

We get it! We get it!

MILES

Okay. Here we go. Are you ready?

JIM

On with it!

MILES

When I was eight-years-old I sprained

my clavicula. Who took me to the

hospital?

JIM

Nana Silverberg!

MILES

Correct! To Jim with the win!

CORKY AND FRANK LOOK AT JIM.

JIM

Well, I am a reporter arent I?

CUT TO:

10.(A)


14/50

INT. MURPHYS OFFICE - LATER(Murphy)

MURPHY IS TYPING AT HER IMAC. HER PHONE SITS ON HER DESK.

ON HER DARTBOARD IS A PICTURE OF TODD AKIN.

SFX: PHONE BEEP

MURPHY CHECKS HER PHONE.

MURPHY

(SEDUCTIVELY) Oh hello... Leonard.

MURPHY GETS UP AND SHUTS HER BLINDS. SHE TYPES FURIOUSLY INTOTHE PHONE.

DISSOLVE TO:

11.(A)


15/50

(B)

INT. BULLPEN - LATER THAT DAY(Miles, Bullpen extras, Corky)

SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS

MILES FRANTICALLY STEPS OFF.

MILES

Has anyone seen Murphy?

MURPHY (O.S.)

(SHRIEKS)

MILES

Found her.

RESET TO:

INT. MURPHYS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS ACTION(Murphy, Miles, Corky)

MURPHY IS SLUMPED IN FRONT OF HER IMAC. MILES ENTERS.

MURPHY

Look Miles, I didnt mean to Tweet it!

It was a personal message for Leonard.

I dont even know how it happened.

12.(B)

(MORE)


16/50

One minute we were texting and the

next minute we were, (SPELLS IT OUT) S-

E-X-T-I-N-G. I didnt even want to be

on this stupid Twitter in the first

place. You remember Anthony Weiner!

MILES

I remember you called him a twerp on

television and then had a box of live

doves sent to his house!

MURPHY

Im a sucker for a good bird pun!

Miles what are we going to do? Im a

mother! Its already been retwatted or

retwitted four hundred times!

MILES

(SHRIEKS) You havent deleted it yet?

Everythings going dark! My life is

flashing before my eyes!

CORKY ENTERS.

CORKY

What in the bloody heck is everyone

screaming about in here? It sounds

like a womens prison film!

MILES

(RELIEVED) Corky! Yes! Do you know how

to delete a Tweet off Twitter?

13.(B)

MURPHY (CONT'D)


17/50

CORKY

Do I ever!

CORKY WALKS OVER TO THE COMPUTER, LEANS IN.

CORKY (CONTD)

(GASPS) Oh my God!

MURPHY HANGS HER HEAD.

CORKY (CONTD)

You have more followers than me!

MILES

Can you delete it or not?

MURPHY

It was supposed to be a text! Or a

(SPELLS IT OUT) S-E-

MILES

We all know what it was supposed to be

Murphy! This is just great. Youll

most certainly have to address this on

Fallon tomorrow.

MURPHY

No! I cant do the show Miles! Itll

be humiliating. Millions of people

will be laughing at me!

MILES

You have to do it! I promised NBC!

Well say it was a prank. Like that

time you tweeted at the wrong Katie

Couric and told her to sit on it.

14.(B)


18/50

CORKY

(TO MILES) Dont tell me FYI is

springing for trending topics. In this

recession?!

MURPHY

(YELLING) Just delete it!

CORKY

OK, OK. Dont get your pantaloons in a

twist. Jeesh! Done.

MURPHY

Thank God thats over. We can just put

it behind us. Like Cronkite said The

perils of duck hunting are great.

MILES

(SIGH OF RELIEF) Youre right. Its

not like a tweet will be national

news.

SFX: EVERYONES PHONES/COMPUTERS BUZZING/BEEPING.

MURPHY

Well, crap.

FADE OUT.

END ACT ONE.

15.(B)


19/50

ACT TWO

(C)

FADE IN:

INT. PHILS - DINNER TIME(Murphy, Phil, Jim, Phils Extras)

MURPHY HAS HER HEAD FACEDOWN ON THE BAR. AN EMPTY GLASS AND AHALF-EATEN CHEESEBURGER IS IN FRONT OF HER.

MURPHY

(TO PHIL) Hit me.

PHIL

I think youve had enough Murph.

MURPHY

(STERN) Phil!

PHIL SIGHS AND POURS MURPHY A SELTZER. SHE DOWNS IT.

PHIL

You know what I told Gary Hart when

something similar happened to him?

MURPHY

What Phil?

PHIL

Suck it up!

PHIL WALKS AWAY.

16.(C)


20/50

ENTER JIM.

THE LIGHT SPILLS INTO THE ROOM.

ALL

(YELLING) Shut the door!

JIM SITS DOWN NEXT TO MURPHY.

JIM

There you are Slugger! Miles sent me

over to convince you to do the show.

That, and I have a ticket and really

want to go. I havent been to

Rockefeller Center since Doris and I

asked Jack Welch to officiate our

wedding and he broke his leg trying to

close the elevator doors in front of

us.

MURPHY

Gee, thanks Jim, but I just cant do

it. Youve seen what they do on shows

like those to people like me. Im like

Spitzer but with better legs. I can

just imagine the monologue. (FLAT) So

did you hear about this, Murphy Brown

accidentally Tweeted a sext. When

reached for a comment she was too busy

seducing Tom from Myspace.

JIM

I dont get it.

17.(C)


21/50

MURPHY

Never mind.

JIM

Murphy. Im about to show you

something only a select few people

have ever seen before. Its an issue

of The Tattler from 1996 that I had

rescinded. I had to use some

connections Im not proud of but I

just couldnt bare to have this out

there. Doris and I were on vacation in

The Bahamas, and well, long story

short, it resulted in this.

JIM HOLDS UP AN ISSUE OF THE TATTLER TO MURPHY.

MURPHY

(READING) Jim Dials Bahama Beach

Romp! (LAUGHS) And you! In your

boxers! With socks on!

JIM

Im not proud of this. Why is it that

socks make you look MORE nude?

MURPHY

Jim, this is exactly what I needed to

pick me up. Youre right. I should

have a sense of humor about these

things.

18.(C)

(MORE)


22/50

Who cares if some people saw a

personal message from me to Leonard?

Its the aughts!

JIM

Thats the spirit Murphy. Youve just

got to distract them. Now, can I have

that back?

MURPHY

Oh, Jim youre funny.

MURPHY STICKS IT IN HER BAG.

PHIL COMES OVER.

PHIL

You know, last time I asked Frank if

he would talk me up to Dave I dont

think he did because I never heard

anything. That was in 93. Man, if I

had stories then, do I have stories

now. Why, just the other day I rode a

tandem bike by myself to the swap meet

where I bumped into Janet Napalitano

who was having car troubles, so we

ended up biking to her place where she

made Tex Mex.

MURPHY

You know Phil maybe I will.

19.(C)

MURPHY (CONT'D)


23/50

PHIL

(EYES WIDE) Really?!

MURPHY

As soon as Ghostbusters 3 comes out.

PHIL FLIPS HIS HAND.

PHIL

See if you get another seltzer with

that attitude.

ON MURPHYS LOOK WE:

DISSOLVE TO:

20.(C)


24/50

(D)

INT. LATE NIGHT STUDIO - NEXT DAY(Jimmy Fallon, Murphy)

JIMMY SITS AT HIS DESK.

JIMMY FALLON

Our next guest is a multiple Emmy

award winning veteran reporter. Shes

got a Pulitzer, a Humboldt and now

shes the latest craze on Twitter. She

really needs no introduction, were so

excited to have her, ladies and

gentleman please welcome Murphy Brown.

MURPHY ENTERS AND SITS DOWN NEXT TO JIMMY.

JIMMY FALLON (CONTD)

Hi Pal, hows it going?

MURPHY

Great!

21.(D)


25/50

JIMMY FALLON

Thank you so much for being on the

show. As you know were all huge, huge

fans. Youve interviewed everyone from

Ronald Reagan to Kim Kardashian and

youre still going strong. Do you have

any plans to settle down and retire or

anything?

MURPHY

Well Jimmy, thank you, thats very

nice. I dont have any plans to stop

anytime soon but Im certainly no Mike

Wallace. (CHUCKLES)

JIMMY FALLON

Speaking of, you actually made Paul

Ryan cry at the VP debate the other

day. How did that feel?

MURPHY

Oh hes a wuss.

JIMMY FALLON

Now, I have to bring this up, because

its all anyone is talking about. But

the other day you Tweeted...

something. Can you explain to our

audience what that was?

MURPHY LAUGHS.

22.(D)


26/50

MURPHY

Yeah, of course. You know, Im really

a normal person at heart, despite all

the awards, and fame, and you know,

spectacular things about me. So what

if I got a little frisky like the rest

of the world! But yes, I accidentally

Tweeted a sext.

JIMMY FALLON

And has there been much backlash or

anything?

MURPHY

Not a whole lot. Compared to that Dan

Quayle stuff this is a cakewalk. I

mean, it went viral or whathaveyou,

but Im certainly not the first person

in the world to have an embarrassing

sexual snafu come to the publics

attention.

JIMMY FALLON

Thats right, and actually youve

given us a photo wed like to debut

here of your co-anchor Jim Dial in the

Bahamas with, what are these? Boxers?

MURPHY

Thats right.

JIMMY HOLDS THE PICTURE UP AND WE SEE IT FULL SCREEN.

23.(D)


27/50

JIMMY FALLON

Thats great. Just hilarious. Now,

Murphy, sometimes we do this on the

show, and its always a lot of fun.

Would you be interested in maybe

sticking around for a game of beer

pong?

MURPHY

Jimmy, Im an alcoholic.

JIMMY COMPLETELY BREAKS.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LATE NIGHT GREENROOM - LATER(Jim, Murphy)

MURPHY ENTERS THE GREENROOM. JIM HAS HIS BACK TO THE DOOR.

MURPHY

Say, that wasnt so bad! What do you

say we go to that truffle place? Its

on me!

JIM TURNS AROUND.

JIM

(FURIOUS) Ill tell you where you can

put those truffles! I havent been

that humiliated since Andy Rooney put

a Jim Dial bobblehead on his 60

Minutes desk! Now I know how you made

Paul Ryan feel!

24.(D)


28/50

MURPHY

Jim wait! I thought it would be a good

prank. You were the one who told me to

distract them!

JIM STORMS OUT. MURPHY HANGS HER HEAD.

JIMMY FALLON ENTERS.

JIMMY FALLON

Hey buddy I just wanted to say thanks

for coming on the show! You were

great.

MURPHY

Oh stuff it funnyboy.

MURPHY EXITS.

DISSOLVE TO:

25.(D)


29/50

(E)

INT. BULLPEN - MORNING(Jim, Corky, Murphy, Miles, Frank)

CORKY, FRANK AND MILES SIT AROUND THE GLASS TABLE.

FRANK

So, my idea is this. They say women

are being accepted into the Augusta

National, but are they really? In this

piece Frank Fontana goes undercover as

(IN A WOMANS VOICE) Darlene Samuels,

Professional Golfer.

MILES

Frank, the network isnt going to pay

for you to take a trip golfing. Last

time we did that you got so sunburnt

people broke their televisions trying

to adjust the color.

26.(E)


30/50

FRANK

It wouldnt be so that I could go

golfing! Itd be to rip the lid off

what is potentially a huge sexist

organization.

MILES

Then why dont we just send a real

woman. Like Corky?

FRANK

I uh... Never mind.

CORKY

How about this- Lindsey Lohan is the

suspect in a recent buglar-

MILES LOOKS AT THE CLOCK.

MILES

(INTERRUPTING) Where are they? They

know we had a eight oclock meeting

today! I still dont know why this is

so difficult. Did Father Time have a

heart attack?

CORKY

So no to the Lohan thing then?

SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS

MURPHY STEPS OFF THE ELEVATOR.

MURPHY

Sorry Im late, Jenna Bush cut me off

in a smart car.

27.(E)


31/50

CORKY

How was Jimmy? Was he cute? Did his

suit fit well?

FRANK

Did anyone at Late Night remember

me?

MURPHY

Yes, yes and no. Wait, wheres Jim?

MILES

Hes not with you?

CORKY

Jims never late!

MURPHY

(SIGHS) Look, Jim is really upset with

me because of that stunt I pulled on

the show, so please, when he gets here

just dont give him a hard time.

SFX: ELEVATOR DING

JIM GETS OFF THE ELEVATOR. EVERYONE LAUGHS BUT MURPHY.

JIM

Ive been a war correspondent on every

single continent but nothing sounds

worse than your laughter.

FRANK

How did you stand on those two

toothpicks Jim?

28.(E)


32/50

CORKY

Did your pale legs blind anyone?

MILES

Did you get sand in your socks?

MURPHY

Alright, alright very funny. Lets all

give Jim some space. What I did was

immature and unacceptable. Jim, I

apologize profusely.

JIM

With all do respect Murphy, apology

not accepted. You have betrayed my

trust and brought shame to the Dial

name. As if my Google results werent

bad enough because of the darn soap

company! In fact, consider me off

tomorrows broadcast.

MILES

Jim, surely you must be joking.

CORKY

Hes not! The first results are all

about soap scum.

MILES HANGS HIS HEAD.

JIM WALKS OFF.

MILES

Murphy! Youve got to find a way to

fix this.

29.(E)

(MORE)


33/50

We have a broadcast tomorrow. If Jim

and you dont co-anchor this thing we

lose points! When we lose points the

upstairs brass is going to become

downstairs brass and when downstairs

brass comes to my office its never

good! Never good do you hear me? Last

time the brass came they replaced my

swivel chair with an exercise ball. I

have to type standing up! Like

Hemmingway! And we all know what

happened to him!

MURPHY

Relax Miles, Ill fix it.

FRANK

What are you going to do? I havent

seen anyone this mad at one of your

pranks since you had Diane Sawyers

Olympic RV towed to Wales.

MURPHY

She thought she was in London for

three hours!

MILES

This isnt funny Murphy! Come tomorrow

you better have a solution to this.

30.(E)

MILES (CONT'D)


34/50

MURPHY

Relax, Ive got this. Im going to

march to his office right now and lay

it all out!

MURPHY WALKS CONFIDENTLY TO JIMS OFFICE. SHE POKES HER HEADIN.

MURPHY (CONTD)

Jim?

THE DOOR SLAMS.

MILES STANDS BEHIND MURPHY.

MILES

Good work!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT(Murphy, Eldin)

MURPHY ENTERS. SHE LETS OUT A FRUSTRATED YELL.

ELDEN ENTERS FROM THE KITCHEN.

ELDIN

Theres my fifty shades of grey hair!

MURPHY

Eldin I am not in the mood.

MURPHY SLUMPS DOWN ON THE COUCH. ELDIN COMES OVER AND JOINSHER.

ELDIN

Thats fine, because nothing can ruin

the day I am having. No siree bob.

31.(E)

(MORE)


35/50

I got my hands on some of that paint

car manufacturers use that changes

color in the light. I installed a

dimmer switch so your kitchen can be

nine different colors at all times.

Right now its mostly purple because I

cant really figure out the lighting,

but Im a painter, not an electrician,

so lay off!

MURPHY

Eldin, I just want to go to bed.

ELDIN

(HURT) I see how it is. Ill just

spend all day painting someone elses

house.

MURPHY

Im sorry, I just dont know what to

do. Jim hates me because of that stunt

I pulled but I honestly didnt think

he would mind! He gave me the paper

for Christs sake. How was I supposed

to know hed have a total melt down.

These are the kind of things we used

to laugh about.

32.(E)

ELDIN (CONT'D)


36/50


37/50

ELDIN

Close, but they wont let me into

mensa because of something I choose

not to discuss.

MURPHY

Ive gotta run. Thanks!

MURPHY LEAVES.

ELDIN ENTERS THE KITCHEN AND THE LIGHTS FLICKER.

ELDIN

Oh come on!

DISSOLVE TO:

34.(E)


38/50

(H)

INT. BULLPEN - MORNING(Murphy, Miles, Frank, Jim, Corky, Bullpen Extras)

JIM IS STIRRING HIS COFFEE, CORKY IS ON HER PHONE AT THEGLASS TABLE AND MILES IS CHECKING HIS WATCH.

SFX: ELEVATOR DING

MURPHY AND FRANK STEP OFF. MURPHY IS HOLDING THE SAME BAGMILES WAS.

FRANK

Murph, come on! Just one! Please.

MURPHY

No way Frank, and if you ask again Im

going to pop that zit you call a head!

MURPHY AND FRANK JOIN THE CREW AT THE GLASS TABLE.

JIM

(CORDIAL) Good morning Frank, Murphy.

MURPHY

(TAKEN ABACK) Morning Jim. How is it

going?

JIM

Oh just splendidly, thank you for

asking.

35.(H)

(MORE)


39/50

Im very much looking forward to the

broadcast tonight, arent you all?

Say, Corky what was your story about?

CORKY

Its about what Sasha and Malia Obama

would look like at forty if they took

up smoking now.

JIM

Ha! How wonderful. Murphy, are you

excited for the broadcast?

MURPHY LOOKS SCARED.

MURPHY

What? I mean, yes, definitely. Jim, I

brought you a present. Here, these are

truffles from New York. I flew all the

way to Per Se to pick them up last

night. And boy let me tell you about

that Delta airlines. What a bunch of

no good, dirty, rotten

JIM GRABS THE BAG.

JIM

Thank you Murphy that was very nice.

See you at the show!

JIM EXITS.

36.(H)

JIM (CONT'D)


40/50

MURPHY

(TO MILES) What was that about? I

thought he hated me.

MILES

You tell me! He walked in this morning

happier than one of those Pandas they

try to get to reproduce constantly.

FRANK

Murph Im sure it all just blew over.

Jims a mature enough guy, he probably

figured it wasnt worth wasting the

energy on, you know?

MURPHY WALKS OVER TO THE TABLE AND GRABS HER COFFEE MUG.

MURPHY

Say Frank, I think youre right. Jim

and I are pretty good friends. I doubt

hed hold so much of a grudge.

MURPHY POURS SOME COFFEE INTO HER MUG WHICH GOES RIGHTTHROUGH IT AS ITS MISSING A BOTTOM.

MURPHY (CONTD)

Uh oh.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. FYI SET - THAT NIGHT

(Jim, Frank, Corky, Murphy, Miles, Stage Manager, Carl, FYIcrew extras)

ITS ABOUT A MINUTE OR TWO BEFORE BROADCAST. MURPHY SITS ATTHE DESK, CORKY AND FRANK ARE CHATTING.

JIM ENTERS AND SITS DOWN.

37.(H)


41/50

STAGE MANAGER

Places everybody!

MURPHY

Say, Jim, that was a pretty good gag

with the coffee cup. I guess you and I

are even now.

STAGE MANAGER

Jim can we get some levels from you?

JIM LAUGHS LIKE A MAD SCIENTIST.

STAGE MANAGER (CONTD)

Thanks, thats good.

JIM TURNS TOWARDS MURPHY.

MURPHY

Jim. We are even now, right?

STAGE MANAGER

And were on in five, four, three,

two

JIM

Were just getting started.

MURPHY TURNS TOWARDS CAMERA, STARTLED.

JIM (CONTD)

Good evening and welcome to F.Y.I.

Im Jim Dial.

38.(H)

(MORE)


42/50

For your information tonight, Frank

Fontana brings us the results of the

latest Gallup polls, Corky Sherwood

goes undercover at a celebrity rehab

center, and heres a picture of Murphy

Brown in a bikini while pregnant.

EFX: ON THE MONITORS IN THE BACKGROUND, WE SEE THE PICTURE.

MURPHY GULPS.

EFX: ON THE MONITORS IN THE BACKGROUND, WE SEE THE FYIOPENING TITLES ROLL.

SFX: WE HEAR THE OPENING THEME.

NOW THAT MURPHY AND JIM ARE OFF CAMERA SHE LUNGES FOR HIM.

THE CREW PULLS THEM APART.

MURPHY

Let me at him! Let me at him!

CORKY

Stop, you animals!

FRANK

This is great!

STAGE MANAGER

Were back in two seconds!

EVERYONE COMPOSES THEMSELVES INSTANTLY.

JIM

Tonights top story, Dogs...

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO

39.(H)

JIM (CONTD)


43/50

ACT THREE

(J)

INT. FYI SET - LATER(Murphy, Miles, Frank, Jim, Corky, Bullpen Extras)

THE BROADCAST IS ALMOST OVER. WE SEE MURPHY, JIM, FRANK ANDCORKY AT THE DESK.

MURPHY

The Citibank settlement was originally

rejected by a Federal judge but that

was later redacted after an appeals

court found that the judge had acted

outside of his own authority. For

F.Y.I. Im Murphy Brown.

JIM

And Im Jim Dial.

MURPHY KICKS JIM UNDER THE TABLE.

JIM (CONTD)

Ow!

ANGLE ON THE CREW AS THEY WAIT TO SEE WHAT IS GOING TOHAPPEN. MURPHY JUST SHUFFLES HER PAPERS.

40.(J)


44/50

STAGE MANAGER

And thats a wrap! Great show

everyone.

MILES RUNS UP TO THE DESK.

MILES

(FREAKING OUT) What was that Jim?

JIM

Oh, just a harmless prank.

MURPHY GETS UP AND HEADS FOR THE DOOR.

MILES

Murphy, youre OK with this?

MURPHY

I had it coming. But listen here Jim.

If you ever pull something like that

again I will take your spinal column

out of your body and use it as a

walking cane while I physically pin

your face to a Pinterest board.

Understood?

JIM

Understood.

THEY SHAKE.

MURPHY

Dinner on me!

MILES, FRANK, CORKY AND JIM ALL WALK WITH MURPHY.

CORKY

Thanks Murphy!

41.(J)


45/50

CARL APPROACHES MURPHY.

CARL

Murph Im really sorry. I wanted to

say something but he took my favorite

vest. (TEARS UP) Im so sorry. Im so

so sorry. I just love you so much.

MURPHY TAKES OUT HER PHONE AND SNAPS A PICTURE OF HIM CRYING.

MURPHY

Thats okay. Now were even.

DISSOLVE TO:

42.(J)


46/50

(K)

INT. PHILS - DINNER TIME(Miles, Murphy, Corky, Frank and Jim)

THEY SIT AT A TABLE EATING. PHIL COMES BY WITH SOME NAPKINS.

PHIL

Long week?

MURPHY

Tell me about it.

MILES

Murphy, you may be pleased to know

tonight was our lowest rated episode

of all time.

MURPHY

What? Seriously? I look pretty smoking

in that bikini! Darn.

JIM

Wait, youre... upset not enough

people saw it?

MURPHY

Oh come on Jim, that was clearly a

Photoshop!

43.(K)

(MORE)


47/50

You think Id leave something like

that sitting on the top of my desk for

just anyone to find? What is this

amateur hour? I suppose you thought

those truffles were actually from Per

Se too!

JIM

They werent?

MURPHY

No of course not. I stopped by Eastern

Market and picked some up half price.

JIM

But they tasted exactly the same as

the ones Miles brought.

MILES BURIES HIS FACE IN THE MENU.

CORKY

Miles?

MILES

(SIGHS) Fine! I ate the ones from Per

Se on the plane. But who cares.

Remember when the network president

took you all out for ice cream and I

couldnt come?

FRANK

Thats because you had tonsillitis.

44.(K)

MURPHY (CONT'D)


48/50

MILES

You could have waited!

FRANK

Anyway, Miles, have you given any

thought to that Augusta story?

MURPHY

What Augusta story?

FRANK

I want to go undercover as a woman.

MURPHY

Again?

MILES PHONE BUZZES. HE PICKS IT UP AND TRIES TO HIDE THESCREEN FROM EVERYONE.

CORY

Miles, whats that?

MILES

Its nothing.

MURPHY

It doesnt seem like nothing. Miles,

what is it?

MILES

Its a text from Charliza.

JIM

From the Delta terminal?

MILES

Yes, and if you must know its rather

personal.

45.(K)


49/50

PHIL

You guys and your smart phones. You

know Murrow never needed one of those

to get a story down. Hed come in

here, sit right over there and use

Bacon grease if he had to get

something on paper and didnt have a

pen.

MURPHY GRABS THE PHONE FROM MILES.

MILES

Murphy give that back!

MURPHY STANDS UP AND TOSSES THE PHONE TO FRANK, PLAYINGMONKEY IN THE MIDDLE. EVERYONE ELSE STANDS UP TOO.

MILES JUMPS FOR HIS PHONE.

FRANK

Oh la la, Miles, this is pretty

scandalous. What do you think Murph,

should we respond?

MURPHY

Absolutely Frank!

FRANK TOSSES THE PHONE TO CORKY.

CORKY

Ill respond.

MILES

Dont!

CORKY TYPES AND THEN HITS SEND.

ANGLE ON EVERYONE AS THEY WAIT FOR A RESPONSE.

46.(K)


50/50

CORKY

Oh shoot.

MILES

Oh shoot? What do you mean oh shoot?

CORKY

I may have just Tweeted that.

MILES

May!? You may have?

SFX: PHONES BEEPING IN THE RESTAURANT.

CORKY

OK I definitely did.

MILES HANGS HIS HEAD.

FADE OUT.

THE END

47.(K)

murphy brown spec

Documents