Musselman Messenger

As the Spring flowers are budding, the snow has melted; the minds of our peers are blossoming to accept the new challenges.

Spring

How Did Women Gain the Same Rights as Men?

BY: Victoria Parello and Kenzi Stotler

From the beginning of time, women have never been allowed to voice their opinions. This remained until the early 1800s. Women wanted to be accepted as

equals. In 1848, a group of women and some men gathered in Seneca Falls, New York. This group was led by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott. The main focus of their group was to gain rights for women. They based their belief that women should have rights

based off of the Declaration of Independence, which states; “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” ( The Fight ).

Between the time of the meeting in 1848 and 1860, the women’s suffrage movement gained momentum until the Civil War started. At the end of the Civil War, the 14th and 15th amendments were established which created the rights for all men and blacks, but women were still excluded from the mix. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony refused to support the 15th amendment; and in turn supported the racist

southerners who argued that white women’s votes could be used to neutralize those cast by African-Americans. In 1880 the National American Women Suffrage Association was formed. Their belief was that women should have the right to vote because they were different than men ( The Fight ).

Finally, in 1910, some of the western states began offering women the right to vote, but to no avail the southern and eastern states still would not allow women to vote. In 1916, Carrie Chapman Catt president of the NAWSA formed what she called the “winning plan”. The Plan consisted of “a blitz campaign that mobilized state and local suffrage organizations all over the country, with special focus on those recalcitrant regions” ( The Fight ). During World War I, women helping with the war showed that women were just as “patriotic and deserving of citizenship as men” ( The Fight ). Finally on August 26, 1920, the 19th amendment was signed and approved. Since then women have taken an enormous role in the United States, both politically and in the work field.

"The Fight for Women’s Suffrage." History.com. A&E Television Networks, n.d. Web. 03 Feb. 2015

The Civil Rights MovementBy: Daniel Jennison

What did the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960’s really do for African Americans and America? Did the Civil Rights Movement help progress rights for African Americans? Many people asked this question would say that it did. One of the most influential African Americans in the history of the United States was Martin Luther King Jr. He was highly against slavery and a pastor at his church in Atlanta. He believed in the peaceful resistance methods of Mahatma Gandhi. However, although Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the most important figures involving the Civil Rights Movement, there are other people who were essential for the progression of rights for African Americans ( Civil Rights ).

Martin Luther King Jr. was a pastor at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church of Montgomery, Alabama. King’s first chance of being in charge of something involving the

movement was in 1955, after Rosa Parks was arrested in Montgomery, Alabama. The reasoning for this was because he was both young and new to the community. Following that, King was trusted in leading many of other events involving the movement, and advancing the movement. He led the sit-in in 1960, the March on Washington, where King made his famous

“I Have a Dream” speech. He was assassinated April 4, 1968 ( Bio.com ).

Malcolm X was also a leader of the Civil Rights Movement; however, his beliefs were not quite equal to King’s beliefs. Malcolm X’s beliefs were more extreme, and he believed that you should do anything necessary to get rid of the racism against African Americans, which included violence. He was known for giving many speeches on racism. His dislike for white people comes from his encounters with a secret organization known as the Ku Klux Klan. On February 21, 1965, he was shot at point blank range before giving a speech ( Bio.com ).

Rosa Parks is known for her refusal to give up her seat to a white man. Rosa Parks had previously experienced an exhausting day at work, and she sat in the front of the black section in the back of the bus. There was a white man standing on the bus, and the bus driver told Parks and a few other black people in the same row to stand up for the white man. Rosa Parks refused, and she was promptly arrested. This gave her fame as an influential person in the Civil Rights Movement, started the bus boycott in Alabama, and gave Martin Luther King Jr. his start as a leader of the movement ( Bio.com ).

Arnesen, Eric. “Looking Back.” Cobblestone 36.2. MasterFILE Premier. 2015. Web. 6 Feb. 2015.

"Civil Rights Movement." History.com. A&E Television Networks, N.D. Web. 10 Feb. 2015.

Bio.com. A&E Networks Television. N.D. Web. 10 Feb. 2015

Mad Libs

M.A.S.H.

Congratulations! According to the M.A.S.H. (the ultimate sleepover game), your future looks bright and __________ . When you are ___ years old, you will meet the man of your ________ at __________. His name will be ___________ . You will have a/an ____ wedding, and you will go to __________ on your ____________ honeymoon. When you return you will move into a/an_____________ in __________. You will drive a/an ___________. Then, when you have been married for ____ years, you will have your first ________. You will go on to have _______ more children. You will work as a/an _______ until you retire and move to a tropical ___________ .Your M.A.S.H future looks prosperous and ____________ , so prepare to enjoy it.

What goes in the lines?

1. Adjective 2. Number 3. Plural noun 4. A place

5. Male person in the room

6. Adjective 7. A place 8. Adjective 9. Adjective

10. Noun 11. A place 12. Noun 13. Number 14. Noun 15. Number

16. Occupation 17.noun 18. Adjective

Taken from “Best of mad libs” by Roger Price and Leonard Stern.

Internet Censorship;

Does it Affect Our Thinking?

Tommy Markland

As the internet becomes more prominent in today’s society, censorship becomes more of an issue than it ever was before. Some countries, including China and several Middle Eastern states, have taken action about people’s easy access to the internet’s countless opinions on their governments, and restricted it. In most

provinces in China, internet access is not allowed, because the Chinese government

thinks that their people could find things about the Chinese government that they don’t approve of, or is false. China is known for its great firewall, a program that restricts the internet to only what the government wants people to see. This kind of censorship is bad because it’s plainly hiding things from the people. It shouldn’t happen, and when things are hidden from people, they’ll generally start developing distrust for

whoever’s hiding things from them. Trust in your government is good ( Beam ).

Of course, China isn’t the only country to censor things in their nation. Prime Minister of Turkey, Tayyip Erdogan once said “We now have a court order. We’ll eradicate Twitter. I don’t care what the international community says. Everyone will witness the power of the Turkish Republic! “ Also, Russia bans Facebook in their country due to criticism of their president, Vladimir Putin. Finally, America has passed laws that can possibly censor things online. However, the White House has made it a point to say that they don’t support censorship ( Barack Obama Plans ).

Finally, still today, digital citizens of the internet are fighting even for our cybernetic freedom. Additionally, the White House is against the CIA, NSA, and other spying agencies, who are spying on us, watching our every move.

Beam, Chris Topher. "Behind China's Cyber Curtain." New Republic 244.20 (2013): 5. TOPICsearch. Web. 6 Feb. 2015.

N.A. Barack Obama plans to censor the Internet while Americans slumber on. Examiner.com. N.P.

2/5/15. Web. 2/23/15.

Reading News SourcesBy Daniel Jennison

Online articles: like those that are in newspapers and magazines are informative. All of these items are sources of news going around locally, nationally and worldwide. These days, teenagers and children are ignorant about the world going on around them. It’s essential that they are informed as to what’s going on worldwide, U.S.A., or hometown.

If you’re ignorant about current events, people will be talking about things you don’t understand. You’ll be missing China’s new scientific breakthroughs, that one explosion at a power plant in Russia, or the buildup of litter and trash on the shores of Mexico. You won’t be able to join in on conversations with friends and colleagues about whether President Obama’s latest decree is for the benefit of America or not.

Being knowledgeable on the world around you makes you seem worldly. You are able to have a conversation about things. People will find you more interesting. When you sign up for a job interview, you will surprise them with the knowledge in your brain about what your thoughts are on the latest events. You’ll be targeted as a person that someone would want to talk to when they’re bored, curious, or maybe just trying to find out the latest news that they missed yesterday morning. Intriguing people with all of your facts about things will make you seem more interesting as a person.

People will be staring at you with inquisitiveness and attention showing on their faces as they are trying to find out the latest tragedy occurring in the Middle East.

There are plenty of ways you can procure news on the world. A lot of people get their news from television. They receive their information from news channels. This includes radio channels, as well. The information you receive depends on the reliability of the information that they collect. Not only could they be lacking in facts to give to you, but they could even be inventing things. Be wary, not all information you see on a news report will be correct. Other ways to get your information are by reading newspapers. People read newspapers daily before the Internet became a thing. Your grandparents probably have read several hundred newspapers in their time. Currently, the latest and quickest way to receive your news is the Internet. There are plenty of online articles that are updated daily. You can receive emails from certain websites informing you of when they’ve updated their website. Believe it or not, spam received in your folder that can hold some information for something you had limited knowledge of.

A person can’t stress the importance of being informed via news channels, Internet, and newspapers as this article has demonstrated. Make sure you receive information from multiple sources, because some sources can be biased with their opinions. Besides, if you get bored of that stuff, there’re always advertisements.

OCEAN POLLUTION, WHAT EFFECT DOES IT HAVE ON OUR PLANET?

By: Trevor Matheny

“SINCE THE START of the industrial revolution, enough fossil fuels--coal, oil, and natural gas--have been burned and enough forests cut down to emit more than 500 billion tons of CO2. As is well known, the atmosphere has a higher concentration of CO2 today than at any point in the past 800,000 years and probably a lot longer,” Says Kalbert. Carbon Dioxide is a danger to human life, and we are producing it! Carbon Dioxide is emitted from the burning of fossil fuels, and many other processes. It is a gas, and is released into the air. Although it is released into the air, the ocean can also absorb the gas. The ocean absorbs about 30% of the CO2 released into the air, because as it fills up the air space it pushes down into the ocean as a natural balancing system ( Kolbert ).

“Ocean acidification seems to affect corals' ability to produce new colonies as well. The pH scale, which measures acidity in terms of the concentration of hydrogen ions, runs from zero to 14. Pure, distilled water has a pH of 7, which is neutral. Seawater should be slightly basic, with a pH around 8.2 near the sea surface. So far CO2

emissions have reduced the pH there by about 0.1. A pH

drop of 0.1 means the water has become 30 percent more acidic. I present trends continue, surface pH will drop to around 7.8 by 2100. At that point the water will be 150 percent more acidic than it was in 1800” Says Kalbert. According to that, the ocean is going to have a load of issues. If we were to immediately eliminate all CO2 emissions, the ocean animals would still die before the ocean would clean itself out ( Kolbert ).

Listing those facts, don’t litter, help save the world. It begins like this, you’re hungry, and you get a lollipop. You eat the lollipop, and you are too lazy to throw away the wrapper. The wrapper flies out your car

window, and follows a river. The river flows into an ocean, and the ocean gets filled with trash. Fifty other people do the same thing, and the acidity increases and a fish eats your trash. Then the coral dies, and the island you live on is affected, and as it deteriorates things on it suffer. If you want to save lives, throw away your lollipop wrapper. If we continue to pollute at the same rate, our world will cease to exist, and we must fix that if we want our stories to live on forever.

Kolbert, Elizabeth. "The Acid Sea." National Geographic 219.4 (2011):100. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 6 Feb. 2015.

Camping 101By: Nate Huff

When you go camping, it’s not always fun and games. You have to know what you’re doing first. If you are out in the sun, you should wear sunscreen and bug spray. Always be sure to wear proper clothing for the weather to avoid dehydration, overheating, or frostbite. If you are using a tent, make sure that you have the right type of tent for the type of camping that you are doing. Always camp with another person if available, for it can provide more safety. Be sure to have enough water and food for the camping trip before you go. Camping can provide you with many fun activities such as rock climbing, repelling, cooking, swimming, canoeing, and kayaking. There are many campsites in the area, such as The Cove, Camp Shenango and Camp Rock Enon. If you are interested in camping and other outdoor adventures, join a Boy or Girl Scout troop. If you encounter a wild animal when outdoors, it is best to get a ranger, or just simply ignore it, but proceed with caution. Always know first aid in case of an injury, and most importantly, BE PREPARED!

My Perfect Vacation By: Sydney Barker

If I could have the perfect vacation, it would probably be a tour. This would be the biggest tour to see all the best and scariest roller-coasters in the world. I would take at least 3 friends and no parents if possible. We would go to the best hotel that would allow parties and loud noise, not to mention guests running through the halls. My friends and I would stay in the guest suite and would be allowed to order any room service that we want, at no charge. After spending our first night there, we would go to the first rollercoaster and ride it, with no wait line. Next, we could ride any other rollercoaster with no line. Additionally, we could sit in the front of any roller coaster if we wanted. We would then fly to England from wherever we currently were, to have tea with the Queen. Once there, we would be escorted by Daniel Radcliff, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint. We would be greeted with complementary treats from the Royalty. Then we would visit the rest of the world's best coasters in roughly thirteen days. Hallelujah by Panic! At The Disco, will be performed on our way home after the other roller-coasters. Then, after we arrived home, we will be driven to school in a limo to end the perfect sixteen day vacation.

Great Clubs, Groups and Teams to Join in High School

By: Daniel Jennison

Sports: This one was pretty much known before I even had to put the word “teams” in the title. The center of every high school is the investment in their sports teams. What’s not to love? There’s not much better than traveling to other places to play other high schools, making friends with your teammates, possibly getting your name in the newspaper, and playing a sport you love.

Theatre: Theatre is definitely one of the most unique clubs in high school, varying in all of its different plays and performances. Theatre is great for people who love to hear themselves talk, and dramatically, too. Or, if you’re not the type to go out on stage or are just a bad actor, then you could be working offstage. There are plenty of other assignments for you other than acting. You could be in the costume department, working on props, stage props, lighting, audio, tech, or even backstage manager.

Band and Orchestra:

These music categories have almost all of the same benefits as sports, but with less danger, and (debatable) less people fighting for the number one spot in the group. If you have joined band, but still want to experience the joys of going to football games, then you’re in great luck. Marching band travels with the high school football team to varsity football games, walking around playing songs for the crowd. You’re sure to love it (as long as you don’t mind the itchy uniforms)! As for orchestra, that

involves violins, cellos, violas, and other strings instruments. Orchestra brings the challenge that you seek, bringing complex

songs to the table, making it more or less appealing, depending on which way you lean.

Things That You Could Do With a

DragonBy: Nate Huff

You could:

Take a joyride around town Enter the Tri-Wizard

Tournament Take over the world Have dragon races Outmaneuver the enemy End terrorism End wars with your

awesomeness (not to mention the ten foot intimidating dragon)

Skydive Melt your face into Mount

Rushmore with fire Get all the girls Get all the guys Defeat a magician named

Galbatorix Discover new lands Become rich and famous Have your own TV show Burn all homework Commit to a life of heroism

(yay) Gain respect from your idol Become your own idol Learn tricks from the Dragon Live forever with a dragon for

a best friend (Come on, what’s cooler than that?)

Community ServiceBy Trevor Matheny

Community service is an important part of every community. Community service helps clean up the environment and not only helps the earth, but it will make the town prettier. Often groups such as Churches, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, and schools will do community projects. Some projects may include: helping build houses, donating items, and giving to the homeless. You may see some people donate thousands of dollars, but you don’t need to do a lot to be involved. Although you may not be in any a group that does community service projects, you don’t need to be! Some parts of community service are: how to help, where to do it, and why.

Now you may be interested in helping your community, and be wondering “How do I help?” Well if you want to help all you have to do is ask someone who does organized events. If you don’t know anybody, you don’t even need to ask, because all you have to do is something simple. Community service could be as simple as working at a soup kitchen for the homeless, helping at a local animal shelter, or cleaning up trash along roads. If you are interested in helping your community, a simple internet search for your area should help you locate some organizations.

Now where do I help with community service? You can go to almost anywhere and find somewhere to help around any community. Places that are affected by community service are

everywhere as well, but you help the world and create a good name for yourself. I understand that many people see advertisements for community service and wonder how much it actually helps, and some even downgrade it. For every person who belittles picking up the one piece of trash, donating a single article of clothing, or even five minutes of your time, those are the little things that brighten daily lives.

Why should I help if there are others already doing it? You should help because the more the merrier, but mainly because it will make you feel better. I understand that most everyone at one point in time rolled their eyes at spending an hour helping with community service, but it truly helps! Personally, I never thought that such little things made a big difference, until I was forced to help hand out food to people who needed it. Only on that day, seeing those faces that I was helping, did I truly realize what I was doing. So, the reason why is because, you will feel like a better person and be happy that you did that.

Community involvement/service is important, because you can change lives forever. If you do one simple thing such as picking up trash, it changes the world. Get involved, being busy isn’t an excuse! It can be a challenge to help, and does take time, but as with most things it is highly rewarding. I have a challenge I would like to propose, and my challenge is to pick up the first three pieces of trash you see in public.

Join the Student Council

By: Victoria Parello

Do you want to be more included in your student body? Join the student council in the coming year. The student council is a great way to become more interactive with the school. With planning dances and activities for your friends to enjoy, student council is a great place to engage. Student Council is completely free of judgment, but does encourage that you keep your grades up high.

Joining the Student Council means you are helping the community, and the school student body. Being part of a group is also a great way to get firsthand experience with working in large groups. Belonging to the Student Council entitles you to being in the decision making process of the school. Once a month, there is a meeting, where you will get together with the other council members and discus the current issues in the school. This group, under the guidance of Mrs. Horner and Mr. Baldwin gets a lot accomplished.

Do you enjoy the feeling of helping poor or in need people and families? Student Council can help you maintain that feeling. Some of the activities that they do include: a can drive, a coin drive, a glove and hat drive, and dances to raise money. The student council is very active with other school groups. Recently the student council raised over 800 dollars for a family in need. Being in Student Council also encourages other academic activities, such as band, Spectrum, orchestra, and other clubs in the school. In fact the student council benefits from you being in other clubs, so they can plan to help or support the activities that they do.

As an eighth grader and applying into the Student Council at the High School, I know firsthand that being active with the Middle School Student Council has helped me. This help has included an understanding that trying to be a part of the student body, instead of trying to be invisible, is a better way to go through school. Being in the Student Council will benefit you in more ways than one, and the feeling of being a part of something important is better than anything else. If you are interested in joining next year talk to either Mrs. Horner or Mr. Baldwin, they are more than willing to tell you the information you need. Now go ask a Student Council member what they think about it.

MoviesBy Trevor Matheny

As we all know there are many highly anticipated movies upcoming. Some movies consist of Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens, Avengers 2: Age of Ultron, and Pitch Perfect 2.

After a 10 year wait for another movie Lucas Films and Disney teamed together for an action packed sequel to the third or is it a sequel to the sixth movie? If that hint wasn’t a large enough hint, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens is a sequel to the 6th movie continuing the hit movie series. Star Wars is space themed with spaceships, laser rifles, and most importantly light sabers. It is a movie that can be watched as a family and entertaining for everyone ( Star Wars )!

Pitch Perfect 2 is yet another sequel to a movie. Pitch Perfect 2 is about an acapella group, The Barden Bellas. Acapella is solo singing without musical companionship. It has become very popular ever since 2010. In

Pitch Perfect 2 the Barden Bellas travel to an acapella competition that no American team has ever won.

Avengers 2: Age of Ultron is a sequel to the hit movie Marvel Avengers. The Avengers are a group of marvel superheroes including Iron Man, Hulk, Thor and many more. Tony Stark creates a peacekeeping organization, and it reassembles the group of Marvel heroes from the prequel Avengers. Although it has super heroes, it is still a movie the family can enjoy with some popcorn ( Avengers Age ).

"Avengers age of ultron." Avengers age of ultron. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Apr. 2015.

"Star wars the force awakens."Star wars the force. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Apr. 2015.

Take a trip to Gallium!!!Victoria and Kenzi

Take a year long trip to the newly discovered planet called Gallium. It has world class resorts and activities for everyone. With its luscious green fields and quaint, but sturdy houses, Gallium is the perfect place for everybody. To get to Gallium you will take a first class trip in a newly designed rocket ship that fits 500 people. We will have a total of 2000 people per year. The cost to get to Gallium is 5000 per person. Children under five years of age and senior citizens fly at a discounted rate of 2500 dollars per person. If you can’t pay for it all at once then you will have to work. You don’t have to work, but jobs are guaranteed for the first 1000 people. Jobs will also be available for the remaining 1000 people. At the end of the year you will have the option to stay or go back to Earth. In the rare case that your life suddenly comes to complete halt, your remains will be shipped back to Earth. If there are any problems that you created, then you will immediately be put in hold and sent back with others that also caused problems. You can only stay for a maximum of two years, then will be shipped back.

Gallium has the same weather patterns as Earth, with the sun Potassium shining in the sky. THIS IS A WEAPONS FREE PLANET WITH NO VIOLENCE!!!! There will be no cars and no pollution. It is completely safe and healthy for you and your children. There will be solar sidewalks

that transport you were you need to go. All you have to do is type in a location and walk outside the door. Once the sun sets at 11:00 at night you will be told to go inside and stay inside.

Children cannot be inside all day; they will get up at 9:00 and either go to school or play outside with others until 1:00. Then they have the option to stay out later or go inside. Kids will have an education of daily field

trips that prepares them for the adult life that they have to look forward to. Once a week they will have a field trip fun day where they can go somewhere

fun and not very educational. Gallium has a large forest full of mythical creatures that dually serve as chefs. These creatures make food that Wolfgang Puck is envious about. World Class athletes teach children to play games correctly, with good sportsmanship and efficiency. Senior citizens have the option to live in the remote Islands of the planet, where there is handicap accessibility. Parents can buy a lifetime pass to the world class resorts and spas for just 9000 credits. That’s just 750 credits a month. Credits are worth 2 dollars in American money. You can get credits by working in the community or working. Everyone that works will have equal pay and no overtime. This is a once in a lifetime guarantee that you won’t want to miss.

Why Scouting?By Tom Markland

Most people assume scouting is just a small program for twelve year-old kids whose parents force them to join because they don’t do anything else. That assumption is really not true one bit! Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are both huge international programs, and the majority of kids in them, such as me, in Boy Scouts, are people who saw things that the scouts do, and wanted to do them too. My favorite thing about scouting is the outdoor activities most troops do, which for me have been amazing. Also in scouting, you learn invaluable skills that you’ll use for the rest of your life, and a lot of fun skills as well. Finally, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts participate in a ton of charity and service activities.

I’ve been a scout for two years as of last January,

and I’ve done so much cool and fun stuff with my troop, that I can’t count how much I’ve done. Most of what I’ve done was outside, including a caving trip I went on a month or two ago, a ski trip in early January, a 51 mile canoe trip two summers ago, and more hiking and camping trips than I can really remember. One major thing that most scout troops do, is an all-week scout camp. In this area, there are about four major ones, and all of them offer five merit badges. If you didn’t know, merit badges are badges that you can sew (or have your parents sew) onto a sash, that acknowledge that you have a certain skill. The scout camp nearby is in Virginia and it is called Camp Rock Enon.

In scouting, they offer an extremely large variety of skill development to go with the merit badges, as you can earn one from pretty much anything from rifle shooting to first aid to chess and aero

physics. From scouting, I’ve learned a lot of really useful skills, most of them that I’ve ended up using outside scouts, such as first aid, personal fitness, emergency preparedness, and lifesaving. It’s also pretty well known that most of these skills are valued highly by employers, and scouts with the highest rank, Eagle Scout, are almost 3 times more likely to get a job they try for than a non-scout.

One major part of scouting is fun charity events. Another major thing that scouts do is go around once a year, and collect cans of food to give to the homeless. Believe it or not, the collection of cans is actually given out by my troop, Troop 66. One thing my troop does that most other troops don’t is, when the Martinsburg Mall has their annual home show, we have a stand that we set up to sell first aid kits to donate money for charity. We also recruit people for our troop. This year, the Shenandoah Area Council, the committee for scouting in this area, hosted a stand across from Troop 66’s. They sold the same stuff we did, but we sold more. To get to the highest rank in scouting, Eagle, there’s one major thing you have to do, and that’s what‘s called an Eagle Project, which is a service that you do for a school, or church, or whatever you want, to help improve the area. For example, one of the last projects I attended was planting trees and a bench on the hiking trail by the jail in Martinsburg.

Finally, the biggest reason to join scouting is the friends you’ll gain with it. Some of my best friends that I’ve known for years upon years, I met in scouting. With the opportunities you get with the scouts, you’ll get memories that you’ll never forget. In conclusion, scouting is one of the best things you can join, and what you’ll gain from it is incredible.

Not So Funny Jokes

Jokes Provided By: MMS Students

Edited by: Trevor Matheny & Daniel Jennison

What kind of ears do trains have? Engineers

Why did the chicken cross the road? To attend a family reunion at KFC.

A horse walked into a Wal-Mart. Then a cart and an aisle.

How many people does it take to put in a light bulb? Only One person will fit in it.

What’s black and white and red all over? A newspaper or a Zebra with a rash.

What did Kanga name her daughter? Roo

Chicken in a car, and the car won’t go. That’s how you spell Chicargo

What did Anna say to Elsa when Elsa was angry? Calm yourself.

Want me to make a chemistry joke? K

Why did 6 hate 7? Because 7 ate 9.

What is black and white and read all over? A sun burnt zebra.

What’s the difference between a fish and a piano. You can tune a piano but you can’t tune a tuna fish.

What do you call a MMS 12th grader who votes and pays taxes in America? A “senior” citizen.

Did you hear the joke about the pizza? I shouldn’t tell you, it’s too cheesy.

I got a job at the bakery, because I kneaded some dough.

What’s the definition of a will? (Come on, it’s a dead giveaway…)

I held the door open for a clown the other day. Mom said it was a nice Jester.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you an E flat minor.

I accidentally swallowed food coloring. The doctor thinks I may have dyed a little inside.

The cannibal was late to dinner. So his family gave him the cold shoulder.

Two melons went to get married. But parents told them they cantaloupe.

My teacher took my slingshot in Algebra. He said it was a weapon of math destruction.

It was an emotional wedding; even the cake was in tears.

A soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is a seasoned veteran.

When it comes to grammar, double negatives are a no-no.