MY BEAUTIFUL QUESTION

By: Bryan Borezo

REGRET

“Why do people feel they have regret or left something unfinished when they are at a later stage of life?”

BACKGROUNDThis question was interesting to me, because I wanted to know what caused people to feel regret. I was curious as to why some people drag themselves down over decisions they made years ago that they can’t do anything to change today.

I also wanted to understand why some people keep their regret for so long instead of trying to move on.

This is something that I have always pondered for as long as I can remember, and this project was the perfect opportunity for me to dig a little deeper into a question that has always dug at my mind.

Here is a little poem I found on regret while doing research.

What that says to me is that you shouldn’t regret any decision you make in life, and that what happens in your life, make yourself proud of it, because it’s a part of who you are.

JUST FOR FUN

If there is something to desire,there will be something to regret.If there is something to regret,there will be something to recall.If there is something to recall,there was nothing to regret.If there was nothing to regret,there was nothing to desire.

By: Vera Pavlova, a Russian poet

VIEWPOINTS

I’ve looked at this question through a number of different types of viewpoints. It was hard at first to decide what the categories were going to be but as I conducted more and more interviews, they popped out right in front of my eyes.

The main factors that controlled the different viewpoints people had on regret were how old one was, and if they had lost someone they loved.

VIEWPOINT (AGE)

From conducting my research and interviews I discovered that elders really understood the meaning of regret, but they have very different regrets than my parents or any of my friends parents for that matter. When talking to mid-age people they seem to all regret some part of their professional career or job path, but elders didn’t ever mention anything about their careers. They seemed to all regret not doing something they now are unable to do because either their age or simply because they are physically unable to.

VIEWPOINT (DEATH)

People who had lost their son, daughter, or spouse seemed to have much more regret than people have lost either their mother or father. Older people who have lost their son or daughter always regretted not doing something with the one they no longer can. Many of those people who kick themselves over someone's death become very emotionally sick if they feel they could have had control over the situation at hand.

WHAT I THINKAfter all my research and findings, I have come up with my own viewpoint about regret. I think everyone has some type of regret, others just have more extreme regrets than others.

The viewpoint that makes sense to me that answers my beautiful question is: People have regret because life is unpredictable. Humans can not tell what is going to happen to anyone tomorrow. So when something goes against their plan or what they think is going to happen, people start to feel regret. It’s up to the personality of the individual to decide how long the feeling of regret lingers.

WHY I THINK THAT

I chose this as my final answer because originally I was thinking that some people have no regret at all. But I’ve learned that everyone has at least one moment they regret in their life. The older you become the more knowledge you gain, and you learn more about life and yourself. I think as you age you have less regrets on things that happened in the past, because time heals everything. But also the older you get you will lose people that you love and those are memories that elders hold to their mind that they say they regret. What I’ve learned from this whole project is that you can never say I love you enough to the people that you care about, because you never know when they will be gone. Family is what life is about.

WORK CITED

Greenberg, Melanie. "The Mindful Self-Express." The Psychology of Regret. N.p., 16 May 2012. Web. 28 Mar. 2014.

Hayes, Steven C. Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life. Nevada: New Harbinger Publications, 2005. Print. A New

Harbinger Self-Help Workbook Ser.

Pavlova, Vera. "Desire, Regret, and Other Pesky Emotions." The Gaggle. N.p., 25 Apr. 2012. Web. 2 Apr. 2014.

LIST OF INTERVIEWS

Borezo, Mark. "What Is Regret?" Personal interview. 14 Mar. 2014.

Norberg, Richard. "What Is Regret?" Telephone interview. 15 Mar. 2014.

Papetti, Marion. "What Is Regret?" Personal interview. 10 Mar. 2014.

Plante, David. "What Is Regret?" Personal interview. 12 Mar. 2014.

Rose, Judith. "What Is Regret?" Personal interview. 12 Mar. 2014.

Sheenan, David. "What Is Regret?" Personal interview. 12 Mar. 2014.

Thank you! Bryan Borezo