FATHER’SAPPRENTICEMY

CONTENTStable of

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19

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Why it matters

My father and me

Famous fathers influence their daughter’s career

Information about various fathers and daughters

General Information

INTRODUCTION

A DAY IN THE LIFE

THEIR FATHER’S DAUGHTER

CHILD PSYCHOLOGY

STATIS AND INFO

INTRODUCTION

A s t h e p r i m a r y m a l e role model in a g ir l’s life, fathers influence their daughters in pro-found ways, from how t h ey s e e t h e m s e l ve s to what they come to expect from men and the world at large. But men often don’t realize the importance of their interactions or may shy away from too close in-volvement because of their inexperience, or conditioning. Especially as girls move into ado-lescence, fathers may

solutions when prob-lems arise, Dads and Daughters then offers t h o u g h t f u l c o v e r a g e of the most pivotal is-sues today’s girls face, such as sex and dating, body image, alcohol and drugs, media culture a n d v i o l e n c e, m o n ey and responsibility, and the future. In doing so he both illuminates the culture our daughters l ive in and shows fa-thers how to guide their daughters toward re-warding, healthy lives.

ther to father and with i n s i g h t s f r o m m a n y other dads, Joe Kelly shows men how they can strengthen their relationships with their daughters and explores the tremendous rewards this relationship can bring. Starting with a self-assessment quiz t i t le d “ H ow A m I D o -ing as My Daughter ’s Father?” dads can im-mediately see what kind of role they play in their daughter’s life. To edu-cate fathers and offer

find themselves feel-ing distant from their daughters or awkward with the changing dy-namic. Communication becomes difficult and parenting issues more complicated. But this is also the time when daughters most need their fathers to be an even greater presence in their lives. Dads and Daughters is a tool to b r i d g e t h a t g a p a n d build a rewarding and joyful father-daughter relationship. From fa-

WHY IT MATTERS

The Reason

A TOOL TO BRIDGE THAT GAP AND BUILD A REWARDING RELATIONSHIP

Girls with close, sup-portive relationships with their parents tend to develop later, while girls with cold or distant relationships with their parents develop at an earlier age. The research is published in the most recent edit ion of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The research was con-ducted by Bruce Ellis, a postdoctoral fellow at Vanderbilt (now at the University of Canter-bury in New Zealand); S t e p h e n M c F a d y e n -

who had close, posi -tive relationships with their parents during the first five years of l ife tended to experience relatively late puberty, compared to girls who had more distant re-lationships with their parents. More specifi-cally, the researchers found that the quality of fathers’ involvement with daughters was the most important feature of the early family en-vironment in relation to the timing of the daugh-ters’ puberty.

Ketchum, adjunct as-sistant professor of psychology at Vander-bilt; Kenneth Dodge, professor of psychology and psychiatry at Van-derbilt; Gregory Pettit of Auburn University; and John E. Bates of Indiana University. The study looked at 173 girls and their fami-lies from Nashville and Knoxvil le, Tenn. and Bloomington, Ind. from the time the girls were in pre-kindergarten until they were in the seventh grade. Girls

FATHERS HAVE INFLUENCE ON THEIR

DAUGTERS IN A PROFOUND WAY, FROM

HOW THEY SEE THEMSELVES TO WHAT THEY COME TO EXPECT

FROM MEN.

“

”

STATS & INFO

18OF WOMEN

BORN IN THE LAST

DECADE FOLLOWED

THEIR FATHERS

FOOTSTEPS

%

COMPARED TO 6 PERCENT OF WOMEN BORN IN THE PREVIOUS DECADE.

20% OF THE DIFFERENCE IS ATTRIBUTED TO THE FATHER’S INFLUENCE.

20% OF THE DIFFERENCE IS ATTRIBUTED TO THE FATHER’S INFLUENCE.

Girls who enter puberty later generally had fa-thers who were active par t icipants in care-giving; had fathers who were supportive to the girls’ mothers; and had positive relationships with their mothers. But it’s the fathers’ involve-ment, rather than the mothers’, which seems to be paramount to the age of the girls’ development.

girls raised in father-ab-sent homes or dysfunc-tional father-present homes experienced rela-tively early pubertal tim-ing. They present several theories as to why this occurs. One biological explanation is that girls whose fathers are not present in the home may be exposed to other adult males - stepfathers or their mothers’ boyfriends

The researchers believe that girls have evolved to experience early social-ization, with their “anten-nae” tuned to the fathers’ role in the family (both in terms of father-daughter and father-mother re-lationships) and that girls may unconsciously adjust their timing of puberty based on their fathers’ behavior. The researchers found that

and that exposure to pheromones produced by unrelated adult males accelerates female pu-bertal development. The flip side of that theory is that girls who live with their biological fathers in a positive environment are exposed to his phero-mones and are inhibited from puberty, perhaps as a natural incest avoid-ance mechanism.

FATHERDAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP

BUILDING A

COMMUNICATION BECOMES DIFFICULT AND PARENTING ISSUES MORE COM-PLICATED. HOWEVER, THIS IS ALSO THE TIME WHEN DAUGHTERS MOST NEED THEIR FATHERS TO BE AN EVEN GREATER PRESENCE IN THEIR LIVES.

CHILD PSYCHOLOGY

FATHERDAUGHTERBONDAFFECTSTHEDAUGHTER’SROMANTIC RELA-TIONSHIPS

Researchers have noted for decades that children view their home environ-ment and relationship with their parents as “models”, and that this is usually reflected in how these children interact in new environments in the future. For example, children who are exposed to highly aggressive par-enting are in turn more likely to use hostility and aggression as means to attain their own goals (see our review of Hoevet et al. 2009 meta-analysis on parenting and delin-quency). Children also model positive behaviors. For example, children who see parents reach amicable resolutions to

to conflicts are also more l ikely to learn better. Following this line of research, some investigators have ex-amined whether child exposure to specific bonding or attachment styles are also likely to affect how these children act in their own close relationships later on in their life. To answer this battling question, a research group from Rider Uni-versity examined the role of the quality of the father-daughter bond in the development of a positive romantic rela-tionships during young adulthood.

CHILDREN VIEW THEIR HOME ENVI-RONMENT AND RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR PARENTS AS MODELS

The authors studied 78 teens and young adults (average age 19), who reported on the quality of their relationship with their fathers and their current boyfriends. Three specif ic relat ionship domains were examined, namely: communication, trust, and time spent with their boyfriends/fa-thers. The results: 1. Girls with good communica-tion with their fathers also had significantly better communication with their boyfriends when compared to girls with low communication with their fathers. 2. Girls with high levels of trust with their fathers also had significantly better

their boyfriends. It is also possible that fathers contribute to the model-ing/development of good communication skills and trust, which affect how these girls interact with their boyfriends. However, it is also pos-sible that this reflects an individual characteristic of the girls themselves and is not necessarily a reflection of the quality of the father-daughter bond. That is, it is pos-sible that girls who have good communication with their fathers simply have a specific tempera-ment or communication styles/skills that facili-tate the development of good father-daughter

communication and trust with their boy-friends. 3. Finally, time spent with their fathers was not associated with communication, trust or time spent with their boyfriends. At first glance, the data seem to show that the qual-ity of bond between daughters and fathers, specifically communi-cation and trust (albeit not time), predicts bet-ter communication and trust with their boy-friends. One interpreta-tion is that these girls learn to create secure attachments with their dads, which allow them to then have more posi-tive relationships with

communication, and i t i s t h i s i n d i v i d u a l characteristic that also leads to better commu-nication with their boy-friends. But more than likely a combination of individual characteris-tics and child-parent relationships is driving this effect, which would be in line with previous research on the effects of adolescent-parent relationships in later romantic relationships. For example, Donnel-lan found that both personality traits and parenting experiences d u r i n g a d o le s c e n t s predicted the quality of romantic relationships in young adulthood.

FATHER’S DAUGHTERTheir

President Barack Obama had the right idea when he dedicated an entire afternoon the Friday be-fore Father’s Day to pro-mote and celebrate the importance of strong fa-therhood. “Fathers have an obligation to help rear the children they bring into the world,” he said. “Children deserve this care, and families need each father’s ac-tive participation. ”Chil-dren are shaped by their fathers, of course, but when it comes to how women choose their ca-reer paths, Dad’s influ-ence proves surprisingly significant. One study out of the University of Maryland found that only about 6% of women born before World War I fol-lowed in their father’s footsteps, whereas 20% of Gen X women, those born in the 1970s, did the same. Why the increase? We can explain it with something we’ve known all along: That same ac-tive participation that the president mentioned in his speech including

sharing job interests and skills can influence a daughter’s career choice and increase the likelihood that she will enter the same line of work. Michael Lewis, author of Home Game and subject of a photo essay by his wife, Tabitha Soren, the former MTV journal-ist, says he does about “31.5% of all parent-ing.” That’s in line with a 2004 Families and Work Institute study, which revealed that Gen-X fathers spend significantly more time with their children than Boomer dads with chil-dren of the same age, an average of 3.4 hours per workday vs. an av-erage of 2.2 hours for the Boomers. It’s too soon to calculate the numbers for Gen-Y, but most experts have agreed these dads will devote even more time to their children.

FAMOUS FATHERS INFLUENCE THEIR DAUGHTER’S CAREER

THE SCENE MAKERSThe "Godfather" of mob-ster films may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmaking, however his work as a big-deal direc-tor has produced some of the highest-grossing and esteemed movies in his-tory. Away from the cam-era, he has had success as a vintner, and among his acclaimed wines are several "Sofia" vintages, named for his daughter.

Coppola caught the fam-ily film bug and her first role (no surprise) was as the baby in the christen-ing scene in The God-father. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small comple-ment to the still-young director of The Virgin Sui-cides, Lost in Translation (which she won the Oscar for Best Screenplay for) and Marie Antoinette.

COPPOLASOFIa & Francis Ford

COPPOLA

for Best Screenplay for) and Marie Antoinette. Francis Ford Coppola is an Italian-American film director, producer and screenwriter. He is most renowned for directing the Godfather films, The Conversation and Apoca-lypse Now. Coppola has often worked with family members on his films. He cast his two sons in The Godfather as extras dur-ing the street fight scene and Don Corleone’s fu-neral; his daughter, So-fia Coppola, appeared in all installments of the series. His sister, Talia Shire, played Connie Cor-leone in all three God-father films. His father Carmine, a composer and professional musi-cian, co-wrote much of

The “Godfather” of mob-ster films may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmaking, however his work as a big-deal direc-tor has produced some of the highest-grossing and esteemed movies in his-tory. Away from the cam-era, he has had success as a vintner, and among his acclaimed wines are several “Sofia” vintages, named for his daughter. Coppola caught the fam-ily film bug and her first role (no surprise) was as the baby in the christen-ing scene in The God-father. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small comple-ment to the still-young director of The Virgin Sui-cides, Lost in Translation (which she won the Oscar

A LEGENDARY FILMAKER’S DAUGHTER CATCHES THE FAMILY FILM BUG

and professional musi-cian, co-wrote much of the music in The God-father, The Godfather Part II, and Apocalypse Now. His nephew, Nico-las Cage, starred in Cop-pola’s film Peggy Sue Got Married and was featured in Rumble Fish and The Cotton Club. Coppola’s son, Roman Coppola, is a filmmaker and music video direc-tor whose filmography includes the feature film CQ and music videos for The Strokes, as well as co-writing the Wes An-derson film The Darjeel-ing Limited. Coppola’s daughter, Sofia Coppola, is an Academy Award-winning writer and nomi-nated director. Her films include the critically ac

”

“REMEMBER THE ONE

THINGABOVE ALL

FATHERKNOWS BEST

:

film is the biopic Marie Antoinette, adapted from the biography by Brit-ish historian Lady Anto-nia Fraser. Kirsten Dunst plays the title character who marries King Lou-is XVI, played by Jason Schwartzman, Coppola’s cousin. It débuted at the Cannes Film Festi-val where, It received a standing ovation howev-er Critics were divided. In the mid-1990s, she and best friend Zoe Cassa-vetes helmed the short-lived series Hi Octane on Comedy Central. which spotlighted performers in underground music, with frequent guests like Donovan Leitch, Mike Watt, and friend Jenny Shimizu. The “Godfa-ther” of mobster films

may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmak-ing, however his work as a big-deal director has produced some of the highest-grossing and es-teemed movies in movie history. Away from the camera, he has had suc-cess as a vintner, and among his acclaimed wines are several “So-fia” vintages, named for his daughter. Coppola caught the family film bug and her first role was as the baby in the christening scene in The Godfather. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small comple-ment to the still-young director of the great mov-ies, The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation and Marie Antoinette.

Translation. In 2004, she became the first Ameri-can woman to be nomi-nated for the Academy Award for Best Direc-tor, in which she direct-ed Lost in Translation. Alongside Lina Wer t-müller and Jane Cam-pion, Coppola became the third female director to be nominated for an Academy Award for Di-recting. She is also the only American woman to be nominated (Wertmül-ler is Italian and Cam-pion is a New Zealander). Her win for best original screenplay made her a third-generation Oscar winner. In 2004, Coppola was invited to join the Academy of Motion Pic-ture Arts and Sciences. Coppola’s most recent

the music in The God-father, The Godfather Part II, and Apocalypse Now. His nephew, Nico-las Cage, starred in Cop-pola’s film Peggy Sue Got Married and was featured in Rumble Fish and The Cotton Club. Coppola’s son, Roman Coppola, is a filmmaker and music video direc-tor whose filmography includes the feature film CQ and music videos for The Strokes, as well as co-writing the Wes An-derson film The Darjeel-ing Limited. Coppola’s daughter, Sofia Coppola, is an Academy Award-winning writer and nomi-nated director. Her films include the critically ac-claimed films The Vir-gin Suicides and Lost in

THE HARD HITTERST h e r e a r e n u m e r o u s s i m i l a r i t i e s b et we e n Muhammad Ali and his 23-year-old daughter Laila. She accepts them as her genetic legacy. He unwittingly passed on to his daughter by ex-wife Veronica a love of the punishing, exhilarating world of boxing. She is the only one of his nine sons and daughters to embrace those genes that led to the ring.

Her father’s legendary s t a t u s a c t u a l l y h a d nothing to do with Laila’s decis ion to pursue a boxing career. She knows that there are millions who know every single detail of every pro fight her father fought. She never immersed herself in that sort of trivia, She has always been proud of his achievements, but he was never a boxer or legend to her--just dad.

MUHAMMAD

Oliver Wendell Holmes once observed that every profession is great that is greatly pursued. Boxing in the early ‘60s, largely controlled by the Mob, was in a moribund state until Muhammad Ali — Cassius Clay, in those days — appeared on the scene. “Just when the sweet science appears to lie like a painted ship upon a painted ocean,” wrote A.J. Liebling, “a new Hero...comes along like a Moran tug to pull it out of the ocean.” Though Ali won the gold medal at the Rome Olympics in 1960, at the time the ex-perts didn’t think much of his boxing skills. His

head, eyes wide, seemed to float above the action. Rather than slip a punch, the traditional defensive move, it was his habit to sway back, bending at the waist — a tactic that appalled the experts. Lunacy. Nor did they ap-prove of his personal behavior: the self-pro-motions (“I am the great-est!”), his affiliation with the Muslims and giving up his “slave name” for Muhammad Ali (“I don’t have to be what you want me to be; I’m free to be what I want”), the poetry (his ability to compose rhymes on the run could very well qualify him as the first rapper) or the

head, eyes wide, seemed to float above the action. Rather than slip a punch, the traditional defensive move, it was his habit to sway back, bending at the waist — a tactic that appalled the experts. Lunacy. Nor did they ap-prove of his personal behavior: the self-pro-motions (“I am the great-est!”), his affiliation with the Muslims and giving up his “slave name” for Muhammad Ali (“I don’t have to be what you want me to be; I’m free to be what I want”), the poetry (his ability to compose rhymes on the run could very well qualify him as the first rapper) or the

quips ing notice?” or “Why ain’t you laughing?” (“If Ali says a mosquito can pull a plow, don’t ask how. Hitch him up!”). At the press conferences, the reporters were sullen. Ali would turn on them. “Why ain’t you take It was odd that they weren’t. He was an engaging com-bination of sass and sweetness and naivete. His girlfriend disclosed that the first time he was kissed, he fainted. Merri-ment always seemed to be bubbling just below the surface, even when the topics were somber. When reporters asked about his affiliation with Islam, he joked that he

FLOATING, STINGING, PUNCHING, HE TRANSFORMED AND BECAME THE WORLD'S MOST ADORED ATHLETE

quips ing notice?” or “Why ain’t you laughing?” (“If Ali says a mosquito can pull a plow, don’t ask how. Hitch him up!”). At the press conferences, the reporters were sullen. Ali would turn on them. “Why ain’t you take It was odd that they weren’t. He was an engaging com-bination of sass and sweetness and naivete. His girlfriend disclosed that the first time he was kissed, he fainted. Merri-ment always seemed to be bubbling just below the surface, even when the topics were somber. When reporters asked about his affiliation with Islam, he joked that he

quips ing notice?” or “Why ain’t you laughing?” (“If Ali says a mosquito can pull a plow, don’t ask how. Hitch him up!”). At the press conferences, the reporters were sullen. Ali would turn on them. “Why ain’t you take It was odd that they weren’t. He was an engaging com-bination of sass and sweetness and naivete. His girlfriend disclosed that the first time he was kissed, he fainted. Merri-ment always seemed to be bubbling just below the surface, even when the topics were somber. When reporters asked about his affiliation with Islam, he joked that he

LAILA DEBUTED IN THE RING IN 1999 AT AGE 21. TRUE

TO THE INFAMOUS ALI LEGACY, SHE

KNOCKED OUT HER OPPONENT,

APRIL FOWLER, SECONDS INTO

THE FIRST ROUND. SHE PROVED

HERSELF TO BE HER FATHER’S

DAUGHTER

THE ARTISTSWith such a name, one could hardly fail to be noticed. And since her marriage, her name has a n e v e n m o r e e x o t i c ring—Paloma Picasso L o p e z - S a n c h e z . T h e daughter of Pablo Pi-casso, however, is un-doubtedly a personality and exciting talent in her own right. Visually arresting with striking features, she always wore bright red lipstick to emphasize her white skin and thick, black

hair; when she reached her fifties, however, she no longer cared for such scrutiny and wore less noticable cosmetics. “For 20 years, I put it on every day,” Picasso told Faye Musselman of the Home Furnishings Network’s weekly newspaper, HFN, in March 2000. “When I was younger, I wanted to make an impression, to look older. But now that I ’ve tur ned 50, I obviously don’t want to look older anymore.”

PalomA + Pablo

PICASSOAS THE DAUGHTER OF ONE OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY’S MOST INFLUENTIAL ARTISTS, PALOMA HESITATED TO ENTER THE WORLD OF DESIGN.

Pablo Picasso, the Span-i s h p a i n t e r w h o w a s instrumental in the de-velopment of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter after the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an International Peace C o n f e re n c e i n Pa r i s , France. As the daughter of one of the twentieth century’s most influ-ential artists, Paloma P i c a s s o ( b o r n 1 9 4 9 ) hesitated to enter the world of design. She did not want to be compared to her father, nor did she relish the unavoid-able notoriety his name would provide. Once she

began to show the jew-elry she created for Zo-lotas of Greece in 1971, however, crit ics were genuinely impressed. As a teenager develop-ing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic.” she explains. “From the time I was fourteen, I stopped drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design

EVERY CHILD IS AN ARTIST.

and fabrication while still in her teens. Pablo Picas-so, the Spanish painter who was instrumental in the development of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter a fter the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an Inter-national Peace Confer-ence in Paris, France. As a teenager develop-ing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic, “ she related in Hispanic. “From the t ime I was

fourteen, I stopped draw-ing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to cre-ate soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design and fabrication while still in her teens. Paloma still designs jewelry for Tif-fany’s, however, in 2000 she turned her designer wheel to neutrals. Known for her bold colors and patterns, in 2000 Paloma took her home acces-sories in a new direc-tion. This shift was also reflected in Paloma’s personal appearance since she dispensed with

the fire truck-engine-red lipstick favored by her. Pablo Picasso, the Spanish painter who was instrumental in the development of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter after the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an International Peace C o n f e re n c e i n Pa r i s , France. As the daughter of one of the twentieth century’s most influ-ential artists, Paloma P i c a s s o ( b o r n 1 9 4 9 ) hesitated to enter the world of design. She did not want to be compared to her father, nor did she relish the unavoid-able notoriety his name

would provide. Once she began to show the jew-elry she created for Zo-lotas of Greece in 1971, however, crit ics were genuinely impressed. As a teenager develop-ing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic.” she explains. “From the time I was fourteen, I stopped drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design.

THE PROBLEM

IS HOW TO REMAIN AN

ARTIST ONCE WE GROW UP

IN THE LIFEA DAY