my grandpa's bones

7/25/2019 My Grandpa's Bones

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My grandpas bones


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CHAPTER 1My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter1


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It was a sunny day and I was standing on a summit of the mountain so-called Aghrod, it was nearby my village. I felt free and neater. The

horizon in front of me embraces me tightly, and called me for a voyage

to look for my grandpas bones. Over that summit I could see clearly

my shadow strengthened forwards crossing hills and wild plants. I

stood there alone listening to an unknown singer, he was singing I am

like an orphan I have nowhere to go to; thereafter, I went home

desperate and I astonished about the vagueness of my identity, I

through the fields and the birds were warbling, I stepped forward till I

stepped on a long queue of the ants, thus, they messed their way when

they were not able to find their smell and they moved arbitrarily on the

ground. As a result, I recognized my situation from the imminent event.

I understood that the lost way of the ants was like my lost identity. I

walked forward leaving behind me an aimless ants struggling to findtheir way again.

I reached home and I relaxed for a moment, then I went to the

balcony to overlook my village, I saw people went and fro between the

fields, and I wondered whether or not those people had lost their

identity as I am, but I had known that I lost it.

I wanted eagerly to see my grandpas bones but I needed to travel

abroad and maybe to follow the sun westward or to flee eastward or to

roam northward or to fall southward. I was really confused. I spent my

night which was fall of nightmares in horror, but the following day the

sun would oust all those nightmares except that of my life. During that

day I was collecting my luggage expecting to travel sooner. I felt that, I

finally decided to do my duty toward myself and toward those peoplewho roamed my village. I took with me some books and little garments


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that I had, also I kissed my mothers headand I told her that I was

travelling for my work.

It was Friday, after I had collected my goods, I took my way

eastward to Errish town,it was a very tough way and through the

whole of it I could see many of my villagelike leant beside the mounts

until I arrived Errishtown, It was medium city in size, I was able to

see people seemed like those of my village though some little

differences. I met one of luggage drivers and we sat in the policeman

caf for tea. I asked the man about his life and about his job and he

answered, but nothing was good or satisfying in his life, also I did notlearn anything about my nightmare from his speech. Then, I went to

practise the Salat in the Masjid of 20th august neighbourhood; I saw in

front of Masjid a row of a deaf and silent people and other were getting

into the Masjid, I got into it too. I found the people inside classified in

well organized files and fantastic view of the Imam standing in the

front position, and I got afraid when he recited one verse in the holy

Quranthat was very important for me. God said: O mankind! We

have created you from a male and a female and made you into nations

and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most

honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa.

Verily, Allah is all-knowing, all-aware. I seemed convinced, but

where I am from? And where is my nation and tribe?

I got out after we had finished the Salat, and I saw that row of

people crying to the others who were getting out the Masjid, they

seemed like a legion of various birds warbling in front of their shed or

those dogs which bark in order to protect their owner owing to his

nourishment. I wondered whether or not that was their prayer. I asked

one of them why they always beg there and he answered that they were

poor; yet, I let him thinking why I was not there too. I went straightahead and not see backward until I reached the cemetery of Sidi Ali

near Zizvalley, where I found many debouched and impudent youth


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flattering each other beside a various tombs leaning within a long yard.

I was thinking for a moment if I was an old man or not, but I knew that

I still at the beginning of my life though I lost myself. I went through

the tombs in order to see something different, but they seemed equaland monolingual. I always prefer to sit with dead people because I

could talk to them freely and I could express myself whenever I want

to, and no one of them was able to say a word or just to bid me. In

addition, I aimed at being alone because each of us will finally travel

alone. I felt that I was elected to be their friend for my bad days. The

tombs of Sidi Ali cemetery didnt tell me the truth about my identity,

but they listened to me.

I went back collecting people faces and talk to them. I passed by

some youth walking on the wrong way to the school and never being

aware of that, I told them that but in vain, and they called me a mad. I

had known that the school was an evil and it was responsible for my

nightmare. I told them that I had studied in that school and nothing

was fit there. Perhaps, I had never been satisfied in order to find the

truth. In some cases I sentence any behaviour to the death owing to lack

of fitness.

After I had been roaming about the school for a day, now I was

roaming my mind to find where I would pass the night. I finally slept in

the station within mad people and strange thoughts as well as I found

that nightmare wandering in my mind again. It was a dreadful night. I

could feel of the ongoing dreams of those mad people, but their

situation was not as worst as mine. One of them dreamt about his dead

beautiful wife who died in the accident while he and she went to Ifran

to spend their honey moon there. He was crying continuously about

her. But for me, my eyes were not able to cry owing to lack of tears, but

I was crying inside. Another one of them dreamt about his pastprosperity. He was really pitiful and extremely mad. The money he had

lost was all his life, his pockets were pulled out and he caught them


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tightly by his hands. For me I had never been careful about my pocket

as well as my stomach, also I had not been lived as rich man. There was

a shining star above us at the dawn time; it may be the one which knew

the truth about me, but it would never talk, even it was my onlywitness. The dreams of the men would never been finished as my

nightmare would not, and I was a mad between them.

I left Errich that day as an immigrant bird which immigrated to

reach places where it could find a winter and cold weather. I visited

many cities around Morocco and I was able to see my face through

many people, except for a few of them who lived where the sun couldstay with them for a long time. In these long day places, my grandpas

bones didnt seem to be there.


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 2

Chapter 2


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 2

I was like a prince whose lover abandoned him without saying a word

and passed away after a short conversation. Perhaps, I met her in thefestival of Imilchil. A word is our master, it is our fate. I heard about

words caused to murder nations and other caused to save other nations;

it is very fantastic to know that the word must be dealt with carefully.

My story with words began with an order; my first words were: do not

do that? Or; do that? Whatever the letters which gathered to shape my

words, they are mine and said to me. Among all my words, just one ofthem was strongly sever; it was coming for long time from the high

selfishness and snobbery of my society. I shall never forget that word,

and that my society had sentenced me to the death. It killed me because

I was looking for something that the others were not looking for.

Another poor day of mine, I found myself in Meknes. I felt I was

elder and more enlightened to understand all the words that were saidto me, but those words were older and more enlightened than me.

Sometimes, man may lose himself within himself. But when I feel that I

am within people, I could do my life even by imitating their behaviours.

This outlet is perhaps, which helped me to live as an abandoned

purpose and to encounter my words. As they said: there is no eternal

suffering but we need the patience of a saint, and there is no eternal

wealth and happiness for those who enjoy them.

Even my name, I could not understand why I am called in this

way, and why I should be called by the name. Perhaps, I have to live

my ongoing life and never asked why? Except for my grandpa bones, I

shall endeavour to find them, and when I find them, I shall kiss my

death and flatter her with my whisper, and my inside blossoming tears

will freeze forever as I shall be. It was said about the death to be the


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 2

weakest aim of man, but for me it is the strongest and faithful one

because of its few followers. Thus, I preferred to sleep long time in

every comfort places within mad people in order to enjoy my last aim,

but my life nightmare would never freed me. As a result, I worked onto find my aim.

I turned to middle Atlas mountsby chance or unconsciously.

The passion of middle Atlas charmed me to seek my aim among Azro

mounts and its neighbours. They were so beautiful, and fascinating.

The springs were around all the area, Aghbal, Tid-hssnand Moha-

Olhajspring where I met my beloved girl for the first time, and we satthere talking as the water was flowing in case not to lose each other. She

told me: we could have our part of love which might help us to live.

But in that moment I remembered my nightmare and I adjusted that I

would not have my part of love, and I replied this way. But she

wondered, and from that time she would not have a desire to see me,

because I could not forget myself as she claimed. A few days later, one

of her friends came in and told me that the girl said that I always think

and maybe I am just an idea, and it shall stop by no traces. But I had

lots of words to think about. As a result, I found one of my enemies,

and I did not care about that and I banished her out of my way.

I refreshed myself after a long dreadful night in my friends

home in Ahadafneighbourhood. Then, I roamed the city as usual. I firstwent to the cemetery which lain besides the mountain, I stood there for

a moment talking to my fans and to myself. I was getting better as far as

I talked to them, I finished my parable and after they clapped to me

silently, I ascended the mount more highly; therefore, I felt of relief

because I always relax either in the cemetery or on a summit of the

mounts where I could see the world as well as myself. In fact, I was like


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 2

an eagle or a goat on the top of the mountain for a while surveying the

city and amusing my flowing tears.

I still in Azrofew days later waiting for the right moment to go to

visit Boumyaand its outskirts, it was another middle Atlas town

which was full of distinctive smell. It was the smell of bad

neighbourhoods. I reached there in the morning when the smell did not

appear yet. The town was so vague, disorder and wicked. I was

regretted because that was the situation of the most Atlas towns;

thereafter, I went exploring the town as the sun was shining brightly,

and the people were coming out their homes one by one like the ants.Thus, the smell began to appear, and it became stronger as I

unconsciously neared the neighbourhood of whores which increased

my regret toward the region and its people.

I was chocked when I saw many beautiful girls there within whores

as well as the elder men who were hovering there like the ghosts, and I

began to ask questions and to blame anyone for these bad manners andpenury conditions. I could not believe that many other towns had bad

neighbourhoods, but I turned my weepy eyes for the sky where there

was nothing except the white clouds as handkerchiefs were hovering

over me. I recognised that I was rather lost, and I had to go nowhere.


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 3

Chapter 3


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 3

Once again, after I had read the book of Voltaire Candideouloptimisme

I decided to travel northward toNadorto work there, and I found that

Candidemight be right of being happy by working. When he said: let us

cultivate our garden, I went onwith shattered feeling and hopeless becauseI had not any garden. I took my way again with my eternal companion to

Nador. Meanwhile, the sky threw its tears on the ground and wore the

black for me. On my way, I sat with a person seemed to be one of those

people who roamed my village.

I asked him: where are you from?

He answered: I am from Tinghir

I asked afresh: where are you going?


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 3

He answered: Im going to Tanja

I stared at him silently for a while wondering about the black spot on his

forehead with the kiss curl on it and about his low voice, then, I said: many

people prefer to travel to northern cities and I dont understand why. I was

looking forward to hear about the work during few seconds before he

replied: it is true that most of people from the south go there to work. The

word came out of his mouth as mine sighed. I felt that I finally had

companions.

I was out of the scene few minutes thinking about all the people who Ihad known before, and about my mother. I wondered where they were at

those moments, and why they abandoned me as I did. I wandered through

my heart looking for some other beloveds as my chair mate suddenly waked

me up and asked: where are you going too?

I answered: I am going to Nador and he asked immediately:why?

I replied: I am student and as you know, I need money for my

scholarship. Then, the phone of the man rang and I went out of the scene

again when I was surveying through the window the falling drops of the

rain.

Istopped inert in my seat like a prophet who had already heard the

inspiration of his lord, and I could feel of the warmth of round tears rollingon my cheeks when I remembered my sins, which might be my

unhappiness. I wept with closed eyes because all things which were in front

of me were not terrible. Suddenly, the man interrupted me and asked me

why I was weeping, but I did not answer him clearly. I just said that it was a

matter of the whole life. The man was full of pity towards me and began to

mutter Quranslightly as my tears flew more than before, but anyone could

distinguish between the first tears from the last ones. Though my eyes


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 3

always complained, I could not stop weeping. I felt that I was like Christ

who enjoyed surveying the whole view of the world while he was ascending

through the sky to meet his lord Allah. Then, I was not able to remember

what had happened after that until, I arrived the station of Nador. I bademy friend; then, I went to my brother house in the countryside.

I stayed with my brother a few days before I went to work in thefactory of bricks. It was another life; perhaps, it was another society, indeed.I got into it in my first day of work as I got into the prison; but its doors werewide open during the whole day. The workers inside the building were likeslaves. In addition, their boss always insulted them for nothing, andsometimes for their good works. I sooner became a slave like the others andI heard many injuries from the boss owing to lack of my experience. I wassweaty and not able to bear the noises of the machines and that of the boss,but I struggled for a month later. I was during that month like the Victoriancitizen feeling despised and worthless except for digging. Then, I picked upa little money and went onward hopeless and I felt I was one of those bricksthat were transferred out of the place to be sold; but I was out to be sold in

nowhere. Perhaps, I was sold to a place, which was overcrowded of theideas.

I came back home with the same tune of music; hopeless and feelingshattered. I descended from the north to the middle of Morocco, where I wasliving for a long time before. Therefore, I felt I finally surrendered to anaimless life. I could not open my eyes during the voyage because there wasnothing, which was exciting me. In addition, I felt that I lost my nightmare

after I had surrendered and I became nothing. As a result, I decided that Iwas looking for an aim, and my nightmare was the desire of owning aspecific aim. Thus, I went back to the summit where I met my nightmare forthe first time. I stood there again surveying the horizon in front of me, andfeeling of each minute of my life. Nevertheless, I did not see my shadow,which I foresaw in front of me; perhaps, it was the midday. Therefore, Ibowed down in order to see my shadow.


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[My Grandpas Bones]

Chapter 3

a man must have a purpose to live for it; and this purpose has to be seen asthe most difficult one


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Even my name, I could not understand why I am being called in this

way, and why I should be called by the name. Perhaps; I have to live my

ongoing life and never ask why Except for my grandpa bones, I shall

endeavour to find them, and when I find them, I shall kiss my death and

flatter her with my whisper, and my inside blossoming tears will freeze

forever as I shall be


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my grandpa's bones

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