my long distance relationship is failing

My Long-Distance Relationship Is Failing

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Question: • I care deeply about a girl I met

in college • Her first relationship was long-

distance and he cheated on her


• We were very happy initially • When I finished my studies I had

to move back home because of finances

• I can now only visit her every two months


• I am saving so that we can move in together

• We use social media to communicate.

• I feel I am losing her


• She still studies and works two jobs

• She is getting depressed and really nasty


• She now shuts me out and blames me for not knowing what bothers her

• How do I get the situation back to normal?


Answer: • If you help her she doesn’t

approve • If you don't help her she also

doesn't approve.


• She is still not over the rejection of her first relationship

• She will do anything to ensure that she does not get rejected again

• She would rather do all the rejection this time round.


• No matter what you do, you cannot change her.

• If she does not love and accept herself, nothing you do will change the situation.


• A long-distance relationship demands a lot from both parties - especially trust and openness.


• Here are your options: • Option 1: Continue with the

relationship, and understand that nothing you do can make her change.


• Option 2: Continue with the relationship and encourage her to get counselling for her depression and for dealing with her issues from the first relationship.


• Option 3: Put the relationship on hold until you live near enough for you to see her as often as possible.


• Option 4: End the relationship and recognize everything you have learnt from your experience with her


• Giving does not necessarily result in receiving

• You cannot change another person


• You cannot help a person who refuses your help

• They are entitled to refuse your help if they feel that is right for them


• This is a major life lesson for you.

• Take a step back and rather focus on how this relationship has helped you to discover things about yourself.


Thank You

my long distance relationship is failing

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