my time in iwama

MY TIME IN IWAMA

1987-1993

Iwama Aiki Jinja

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PREFACE

In setting out to write this story of my time in Iwama, I thought it would be a re-view of my exposure to Aikido and to living in Japan. I believed it would recount a life being lived in O Sensei’s dojo as an uchideshi, a live-in apprentice and Aikido student of Morihiro Saito Shihan, and in Iwama as a sotodeshi, living outside of the dojo; a fac-tual biographical sketch of the time-period from 1987 to 1993. And though it has stayed true to that in some respect, the book turned out to be a passage in my life that retells my spiritual coming of age, my coming to terms with life itself. Because this epi-sode of a few years contain the seeds of an awakening; the seeking for truth and of find-ing my self in a profound and deep transformation that would become the guiding light for the rest of my life. It is a spiritual journey that happens to take place in Japan and through my travels in Asia from the age of 23 to 30, and so Iwama became the fer-tile ground, the good soil, where the seeds of life were planted and nurtured. Iwama was the field of experience over six years where I had time to contemplate life and grow up as a human being. Far away from the safe and secure homeland of Sweden, family and cultural responsibilities, I had the luxury of having the time to think, to re-flect and to study. Aikido was the perfect grinder to beat the grain from the husk, to physically work out, to live close to the land and to encounter life as a guest. Being a stranger, a foreigner, in Japan gave us the unusual freedom to be who we were, to find out who we wanted to become, and to shape the future according to our own heart.

It was one of best times of my life.

Bjorn SawLondon, September 2014.

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I was 23 years old when I first walked into the Iwama dojo in August 1987, now called the Ibaraki Shibu Dojo. O Sensei had named it "Aiki Shuren Dojo", meaning Severe Aiki Training Dojo, and his wooden sign at the entrance to the dojo-grounds was still up when I arrived from Tokyo. As I walked in, during an afternoon weapon practice in the car park, a woman ran up to me, gesturing that I could not enter there. I calmly ex-plained I was expected and planned to be uchideshi, a live-in apprentice for one month. The previous night I had had a scare as I called Saito Sensei from my hostel in

1987

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Tokyo announcing my arrival the next day. Through an interpreter I was told I could not come. I had arranged my visit to Iwama long in advance with Tomita Sensei, my teachers’ approval and recommendation. It was meant that I was to show up in May but I ended up getting a job in Tokyo for three months so I postponed my travel plans. My father worked for the Swedish gas company Primus that had a joint-venture busi-ness with Japanese Iwatani Gas Co. On my arrival in Japan I soon called up the head of their Tokyo office and extended my fathers best greetings. To my surprise I was in-vited for dinner in a traditional Japanese restaurant and before the evening was over I had been asked if I wanted to work in their office over the summer months. Twist my arm, I thought. With no thoughts about informing Saito Sensei I just carried on, think-ing I'll show up in Iwama when I'm done. I set out to find a dojo in Tokyo where I could practice while there, and when visiting the Meiji shrine in Harajuku I came across a beautiful dojo set amidst the park forrest. I was allowed in to begin my Aikido training in the Shiseikan dojo under the guidance of Inaba Minoru Sensei among oth-ers. I trained every day after leaving work and loved it. I had left Sweden over a year before in February 1986 and journeyed the width and breadth of Asia before arriving in Japan from Singapore. Now three months after arriving in Japan, on the phone I was told no, I couldn’t come to Iwama. But I had to go, I just had to. Panicking I pleaded and begged and eventually Saito relented. Pat Hendricks therefore had no knowledge of me arriving that afternoon in August. Soon sorted out she lead me to the dojo to settle in. She became like an older sister to me during my stay. Being a white belt I was soaking up Saito Sensei's teaching like a dry sponge. Some of the people I met during my first stay were Pat Hendricks of San Leandro, California, Philipe Voar-ino of Juan les Pin near Nice in France, Donny Lyon and Vince Salvatore from the east coast of the USA and several Swedes from the Norrkoping dojo. We had a lot fun to-gether. Saito Sensei bicycling in to the the dojo on a spur, spontaneously organizing a barbecue with all the uchideshi. Frying up a tasty yakisoba on a large wood fired hot-plate outside the dojo. Bringing out the sake, cold beer and the infamous Suntory Red whiskey. Some nights we’d continue the drinking activity in the local Karaoke bar. One time not having enough money to pay our bill, and the next morning Saito Sensei be-ing informed that some of his students would have to come back and pay up. He just laughed and though it was hilarious.

Iwama was hot. Warm and muggy in the summer heat. The rice fields were rich and lush green. Toads serenading through the day and the cicadas at night. The water-fall at the end of a long bicycle ride was a pleasant reward. Japan at its best.

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I also befriended, in due time, the sotodeshi Patrick Cassidy and Lewis Bernaldo de Quiros. They eventually became my closest friends during my four trips to Iwama. Pat-rick and Lewis had arrived in Iwama in 1986 and very soon thereafter moved out of the dojo to set up a life in Japan for the next 7 years, working as English teachers while dedicating themselves to the Aikido training full time. They were always looked upon with admiration as serious practitioners by us short-timers in the dojo. I valued their friendship as it turned out we also shared a spiritual interest beyond the Aikido we were practicing. Patrick and I began a life-long friendship that has grown till this day.During my journey I had been reading the I Ching, the classic Chinese ancient Book of Changes. I had kept it with me, reading it, studying it all the previous year. I had never consulted the oracle that is contained in the book. The book serve as a question and an-swer forum besides being the original source of Taoism, the Chinese classical philoso-phy. Pat Hendricks seeing me read it snatched from my hand saying she must consult the oracle, and quickly disappeared into O Sensei's room. Afterwards, inspired, I thought I'm ready to ask it my first question. Since it is known as one of the five Chi-

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nese classical texts and held in high regard as such, I knew I had to be sincere in my question. The book hold out 64 different replies to any inquiry. One throws three coins, six times, to gain a number that will indicate a response. I knew I had to ask the most important question. So I wrote down, "How can I find the kingdom of God?" The reply I got was very encouraging, satisfactory and a bit mysterious: "Pushing Through. Supreme success. One has to see the great man." Who was this great man? Surely not Saito Sensei, though he taught us wonderful Aikido there was nothing spiritual about it, I thought. My journey through Asia was to become my spiritual introduction and baptism. I read everything I could lay my hands on; Jung psychology, Western philoso-phy, Chinese Taoism, Hinduism and Buddhism. I wanted to read the source materials from each teaching in order to understand the origin of their thought.

My first month in Iwama was swiftly over. I was hooked and decided to return as soon as possible. I continued my travels in early September, now boarding a ship from Osaka sailing for Shanghai, China, and then train and bus into Tibet, just to enter Lhasa in the middle of the riots on October 1st, 1987.

“Sayonara-nikkyo”, the Iwama goodbye gesture to leaving uchideshi.

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I had been on the road since February 1986, traveling overland throughout Asia and I wouldn't come home to Sweden until August of -88. I went back to my old job in the hospital and six months later I was on my way back to Japan, arriving for my second stint in Iwama in April 1989 after a side-trip to Chiang Mai in northern Thailand and making a ten-day Anapanasati meditation retreat in Vat Suan Mokkh plus a visit to the beaches in the south on route. Arriving in the plum and cherry blossom season in Japan is special. The Aiki-jinja Taisai is the annual event that commemorate the death

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of the founder of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba, the 26th of April, and Doshu and all the Aikido dignitaries from Tokyo comes for the day to hold a ceremony in the jinja and participate in a shared training in the dojo with a meal afterwards in the evening. I re-member that only the senior students were allowed to train that night. They were posed against the best from the Aikikai Hombu dojo in Tokyo. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Farmers against city boys. Everyone tried to outdo his opponent while Saito sensei and Doshu sat to the side and watched in silence. This time I stayed for four months as uchideshi, now being a 1st kyu. This time I met Alan Roberts from New Zealand, who was staying long term as uchideshi. Lewis' wife Sanne had also joined us. We all shared many good times together, in training as well as socially. It was always a treat to be invited over to their houses. A welcome break from the structured uchideshi life. Still, I loved living in the dojo. I enjoyed the communal lifestyle with regular training. Close to nature and with only basic comforts. Saito Sensei was a very close teacher. He would oversee our allotted works, reprimand us, eat and drink with us. We felt taken care of by him, and as such we felt responsible for the dojo. We were the caretakers and we needed and wanted to respect and honour O Sensei's memory. It was an hon-our to live and train with Saito Sensei in O Sensei's dojo. In May that year all of us uchideshi would accompany Saito to the All Japan Aikido Demonstration in the Nip-pon Budokan in Tokyo. Saito Sensei would simply perform the Kumitachi and then go home at once. One morning at weapon practice I remember Hitohiro-san teaching, and telling me to tell my teacher in Sweden to grade me shodan when I’d return to Sweden. Many uchideshi progressed very fast and the long-termers would usually grade black belt after a year. Many of the short term visitors that came through Iwama included many teachers. Ulf Evenås, Paolo Corallini among others. The Japanese sem-pai's, the elder students of Saito, were always a joy and a challenge to train with. They included on a regular basis, Nemoto-san, Hitohiro-san, Watanabe-san and Kubota-san, and on rare occasions, Inagaki-san and Shibata-san. The long term uchideshi were mostly staying a couple of months, six months or a year. We gained much from our stay while many came through on short visits, a week or two, and then returned to their countries or travelled Japan. Yet none of us could match the dedication given from the small group of sotodeshis, living permanently soaking in the culture and learning the language. That would be my next goal, but in late July I flew to the Philip-pines to see the thousand-year-old rice terraces in the highlands of northern Luzon and then for a short stop in Thailand before heading back home to Sweden. Back to work to make more money for my next journey.

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In March 1991 I returned to the uchideshi life in Iwama after having spent the previ-ous October in Ladakh visiting Tibetan gompas and monasteries, November in Dhar-amsala seeing the Dalai Lama, December in Nepal trekking to the Mount Everest base camp in the Solu-Khumbu region, and doing a Vipassana ten-day silent meditation re-treat in Kathmandu before traveling overland to Darjeeling, India. From there I en-tered Sikkim on the Tibetan border visiting the Rumtek gompa outside Gangtok. While hiking in the Nepal Himalayas I heard of a 20 day meditation retreat happening

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in Bodhgaya in the beginning of January in the Thai Buddhist temple run by a West-ern former Theravada Buddhist monk. I decided to go as I were eager to learn more about the different schools of meditation and their methods. Days before I was meant to begin the retreat in Bodhgaya, I met my guru-to-be and had my biggest life chang-ing events ever. Please read that story in my book “Final Freedom”. After spending the next five weeks in Bodhgaya being enraptured by his teachings in Satsang, I flew to Ja-pan after a brief visit to the beaches in Thailand.

Now I was back in Iwama as uchideshi, feeling at home, knowing the ropes, loving every minute of it. Having been given my Sho-dan previously on my re-turn to Sweden in 1989 I c o u l d n o w w e a r m y Hakama with pride and really train as hard and tough as ever. This time around I was staying indefi-nitely, leaving the country every three months to re-new my Visa for Japan. I went to Soul in South Ko-rea for a weekend and to Thailand for ten days and then returned. To support myself financially I took up teaching English. Jobs that were provided by Pat-rick and Lewis and other sotodeshis. With Saito's good will we were allowed to take some afternoons off to work but he didn't like it. He preferred the uchideshi to be solely dedicated to the training. We had Mondays off as there was no training and with slight trepidation I asked Saito for permission to go to Tokyo to train

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at the Shiseikan Dojo situ-ated within the Meiji Jingu park and shrine sanctuary.

This period of my Aikido training was for me the most influential and founda-tional, establishing a firm base on which to develop my Aikido. Our day would begin at 06:00 waking up in the adjacent room to the dojo, the rokudo (later the

uchideshi would sleep in the dojo), we'd sweep the mat before getting ready for bok-ken and jo practice at 07:00 in the car park or in front of the Jinja. Saito would walk from his house and we'd greet him with a "Ohayogosaishimasu" good morning, before bowing in before the kamiza in the dojo. The sotodeshis would fly in on their moun-tain bikes, but for periods they would be barred from coming to the morning buki-waza. After training the uchideshi would eat breakfast in the Yamabiko, the small res-taurant built next to Saito's house for Hitohiro-san, just across the street from the Aiki Jinja. We ate the previous nights’ left-over rice with huge pieces of toasted white bread with peanut butter and jam, teas and coffee. Then we all would have to get ready to work, mainly sweeping leaves and raking the Jinja grounds, tidying and cleaning the dojo, the Shokudo and O Sensei's room. Chores and duties aside we'd wash our gi's in the cold water washing machine, have cold showers in the little room behind the dojo entrance, and having lunch by ourselves in the Shokudo, the main building next to the dojo. There we'd store and cook our own food and hang out late at night with a cold beer or a cup of sake.

Miles Kessler was now living in Iwama as sotodeshi after having spent over a year as uchideshi in 1988 and in 1989-90. We soon became very good friends. Many of my uchideshi friends over this period were Michael Agar, Michael Murray, Anders, Gun-nar Svensson and Benny Junja from Sweden, Nozomu-san and Ishikawa-san, Frank Pott and Henning Inselmann from Germany, among many others.

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The afternoons we were usually left to do what we wanted. Many times I'd borrow one of the dojo bicycles and ride up Atago-San, the little mountaintop that defines Iwama. There's a beautiful temple on the summit and going down the road behind it we would end up at the waterfall at the foot of the mountain. This is a very much loved place. Many of us would regularly ride our bikes there and have a misogi shower under its two cascades. During the sweltering heat of the summer months this would be the most refreshing thing to do, but even late in the autumn and even sometimes in the winter some would brave the cold waters. One time sticks out in my memory and I wrote a short note about it and I’ll retell it here: “The forest drew me in. The tranquility and silence made me want to explore. I fol-lowed a small trail next to a stream, up and into a clearing, where boulders and moss, fir trees and ferns peacefully shared the space. I was in Japan, in the small town of Iwama, where the founder of Aikido crystallized his art in the post-war era. Morihei Ueshiba had been an ardent spiritual aspirant since an early age. Parallel to his pur-suit of the Martial Arts he had visited places of pilgrimage, temples and engaged in eso-teric practices closely linked to the national religion of Shinto.

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I had just finished a bath, or more correctly a shower, in the nearby waterfall located at the foot of the small mountain hidden away back and behind the main roads. Stand-ing under waterfalls, letting the water pound your neck, back and shoulders has been a Shinto purification rite and practice since ancient times. Closing your hands into prayer, you summon the gods, focus and concentrate. In wintertime the ice-cold water certainly wakes you up, clears the cobwebs and brings you into the present moment. Reinvigorated and fresh after my shower, I dried myself and dressed. Feeling extraor-dinary calm I contemplated the beauty of the nature surrounding me. Having bicycled out there alone, having the day to myself, I had been thinking about the notion of en-lightenment and its opposite; ignorance, or confusion.

I had met my spiritual teacher the previous winter in India, which had opened up an inner vision that made me see with new eyes. I saw all things now as part of a holis-tic whole, complete unified in a tangible sense of wonder and loving embrace. Part of the time I spent training Aikido was now spent contemplating the questions and mean-ing of this new perspective.

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As I stood in that forest clearing, beholding the natural beauty, letting the silence impart on me a sense of being in absolute ease, I wondered how ignorance or confu-sion can cause a veil of obscurity to fall between you and truth? As I thought about this, a thin mist entered the clearing, flowing effortlessly through the trees, and then I understood. This mist that partially hid the trees behind it, was just another part of the complete scenery. As it flowed and moved on, nothing was altered or changed. I saw that all things partly covers up other things but that in no way hinders clear per-ception. Everything is seen as they are, part of a whole. Seen like this, delusion or igno-rance, looses its misunderstood veiling power. It becomes part of the natural scene, part of life. Ignorance becomes the fertile ground of awakening.”

In the evening the uchideshi prepared the dojo for the 7 o'clock training. Sweeping the tatami, opening and taking off the large wooden sliding doors so Saito could enter. Everyone else would have to enter through the small side door, greeting all the Japa-nese sempai's with a hearty "Konbanwa" good evening, and bowing on the floor to each other. Usually we'd end up with two rows, sometimes three, of students. All lo-cals showing up, beginners and advanced alike. The highest graded first row to the right. Saito Sensei would enter always on time and begin at once. We'd bow in and the he'd demonstrate "Tai no Henko" and we'd get ready to grab the partner we'd like to train with, as we would always stay together throughout the full session. Saito would

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rarely show up early to practice so once when we were only a few uchideshi waiting to train, I was joking around with a friend wrestling when Saito walked in on us. He got so angry and kicked us off the mat into the fore-room. Scolding us for misusing the dojo. We hung our heads in shame. After 10 minutes he let us back onto the mat. After ordinary practice we’d hurry off to the Yamabiko for our evening meal cooked and prepared by Hitohiro-san.

This year my fundamental existential questions had been answered by meeting my spiritual teacher Andrew Cohen in India prior to coming to Iwama. I found myself so extremely happy and so full of love for life, that my stay as uchideshi was greatly en-hanced. Added to this, when Paolo Corallini came for a short term visit with his stu-dents he brought his own interpreter in Sonoko Tanaka. She was also his Aikido stu-dent from Italy. As she came in to the dojo with a beautiful smile on her face I was de-termined to train with her. So at the first evening practice I bowed in to her and did so the next two nights. On the fourth night I thought it would only be fair to let her train with someone else. Then she bowed into me. She would later become my first wife.

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This year was marked as a special year as many of us were actively pursuing spiritual understanding. Patrick and Cindy especially took to the inquiry. I was full of inspira-tion and enthusiasm and I loved to retell what had happened to me the previous win-ter in India. Cindy and I would speak for hours till it tacitly moved her and she under-stood through her own experience of what I was describing.

On October 1st I moved into Patrick and Cindy’s house over the train tracks from the Iwama station, after having lived seven months in the dojo as uchideshi. This was my first time living outside the dojo as sotodeshi, enabling me to earn more money work-ing while still attending all regular classes in the dojo. We all decided to visit India and Nepal the following winter to meet my teacher again. So by mid-December I flew to Calcutta, India for the first leg of my journey and then I traveled overland to Darjeeling and onwards to Gaya in Bihar State from where I’d take the bus to Bodhgaya for the retreat with Andrew Cohen. Having met up with Alan at the retreat we both journeyed via Varanasi by bus to Nepal in February meeting up with Patrick and Cindy in Kathmandu. After the seminar was over I left Nepal in late

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February 1992 and flew to Rome, Italy to meet up with Sonoko. In love we began our relationship and we decided to return together to Iwama the following summer to live.

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I stayed with Sonoko in Italy in the region of Marche until Saito Sensei came to hold a seminar, organized by Paolo Corallini Sensei that summer of 1992. Before the seminar was to begin Saito Sensei had decided to film all the standing Tai Jutsu techniques to present to Paolo as a sign of gratitude for all the help he had received from him over the years. I and Alessandro Tittarelli were asked to be Uke for Saito. These can be viewed on my YouTube site. When Sonoko and I returned to Japan in August -92 we rented our own house just opposite the dojo over the street from the large field in the

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back. Living outside the dojo in our own house was a new experience and gave us much more free time, to spend with our sotodeshi friends and to join other activities like a Tai Chi class in neighboring Tsukuba. I was teaching English to support myself financially and also taught some kids at home. Besides the regular Aikido practice I and Sonoko were busy setting up our house and enjoying our new romantic relation-ship.

Having to leave Japan periodically because of the Visa regulations, I decided to travel to India and Nepal once again for the month of January taking the opportunity to see my spiritual teacher at his annual retreat in Bodhgaya. Patrick and Cindy came along and afterward we journeyed together to Lucknow to meet with Andrew’s teacher Poonja-ji and then travel onwards to Rishikesh. On my return from Kathmandu in Feb-ruary -93 after some tumultuous and trying times I asked Sonoko to marry me. Sonoko and I got married in the town hall of Iwama and we went to the nearby larger town of Mito for a celebratory meal with our friends Patrick and Cindy and Lewis and Sanne.

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I can’t remember when exactly but either late -92 or early-93 I was graded Nidan by Saito Sensei in the dojo. The Aikikai certificate is dated tenth of March 1993.

Sonoko and I left Japan in May -93 for good and flew to Sweden to settle. Patrick and Lewis had also come to the end of their stay and prepared to leave Iwama. Miles would stay on for another two years. It was an end to a very special era in our lives and of a very special time-period for Saito Sensei’s teachings in Iwama. Over the years I have met many wonderful people and shared many great moments together in Iwama. Our Aikido have its base and foundation in O Sensei’s dojo, its spirit very much alive throughout our stay. Today our development has evolved, matured and changed. Our Aikido has taken on a larger context, embracing Aikidos ethos of universal love for all beings and as such looks and feels quite different from our Iwama days.

Until this point of leaving and moving on, Aikido had been my main way of life that connected me with my past. Slowly my interest in spiritual matters and search for meaning and self-knowledge took precedence over any future plans in regards to Aikido and even family. Now my spiritual pursuit would guide me for the next coming years.

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Miles Kessler and I training the kumi-tachi partner practice in front of the Aiki Jinja, and Sanne and I facing off in the dojo in 1992. These pictures are taken from a Japanese TV docu-mentary.

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In loving memory of Morihiro Saito Sensei.

1928-2002

DEDICATION

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my time in iwama

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