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Networking for Introverts with Diane K. Danielson

CEO, DowntownWomensClub.com

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What’s all the “Table Talk” about?

• Saying “no” to traditional networking

• Finding your own comfort zone

• Having fun!

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Redefining “Networking”

• Networking – To interact or engage in informal communication with others for mutual assistance or support.

• Table Talk – The mutual sharing of information and support through on-going collaboration.

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Vital Information & Getting “In the Know”

Vital Information is: “any information that can help you or someone you know advance in their career or handle personal issues more efficiently.”

Get “in the know” by: reading, talking, listening and connecting!

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How do you start?

• Table talk strategy

• Dinner party formula

• Rules of table talk etiquette

• Tips for getting out there and table talking!

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Strategy

• Short and long-term goals

• Who and what do you need to know to achieve them?

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The Dinner Party Formula

CompanyTable

IndustryTable

BusinessCommunity

Table

Lawyer

Publicist

Macy’s and Donald Trump

Prison Warden

Cell Mate

Mentor

Key employees

Clients

Competitors

Conduits

Hairdresser

Anyone who can help implement your strategy!

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Etiquette Tip

B

M

W

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Rules of “Table Talk” Etiquette

• Never come to the table empty-handed

• Never place a complicated order

• Treat contacts with the same courtesy and respect you would a client or future employer

• Follow through – do what you’ll say you’ll do and remember to say “thank you”

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Time to start brainstorming

• Come up with a goal – short or long-term

• Explain your goal.

• Brainstorm with your partner.

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What you need to know before you go:• Why are you going?

– Are you looking for information?

– Are you looking to meet a particular person (or type of person)?

• What do you hope to accomplish when you get there?

– Meet one person with whom you’d like to follow up.

– Reconnect with someone you’ve met before.

– Learn something new.

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Things to know before you go

• What’s happening in the world

– WSJ, Newsweek, Time, Economist, Businessweek

• What’s happening in your city

– Local paper, local sports

• What’s happening in your industry

– Fast Company, trade journal, relevant blogs

• What’s happening with the company/individual?

– Get your “Google” on

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You are what you wear

• Dress for the position you want, not the position you have.

• The “business casual” conundrum.

• Ladies: The 3 P’s - Pockets, pants and polyester

• Gentlemen: Suits or khaki’s, button-downs & don’t forget the shoes

• Comfort!

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You are what you wear

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Plan to arrive on time

• This avoids the worry of being late and makes the hosts very happy.

• Make friends with the hosts

• Peruse the nametags

• The 10-second pep talk

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Small Talk 101: Handshakes & Hellos

• Shake hands like a professional

– Proper grip, eye contact & a smile

• Introductions at the event:

– Keep it casual.

– State your name (even if you think they know you – give a point of reference and nickname, if needed).

– Don’t be afraid to ask someone’s name.

– Try to use it in a sentence.

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Small Talk 101: Breaking the ice

• Approach groups or loners.

• Raise the positive energy in the room.

• “I’m looking forward to the presentation, I’m really interested in hearing about ….” “How long have you been with the firm?” (Avoid questions with “yes” or “no” answers.)

• When you bump into that “VIP”: “I’m so happy to meet you … you’re one of the people I’ve been inspired by,” and then bring up your mission in one single sentence.

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Small Talk 101: Save the Elevator Speech • Make it more “off the cuff.”

• Break it up into:

– Signature line

– Small talk instigator

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Small Talk 101: Continue the conversation • Be positive.

• Be curious.

• Be a connector.

• Be a good listener.

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Small Talk 101: Continue the conversation • Have fewer conversations and provide memorable

information.

• Ask for advice (it’s not the same as asking for help).

• “Can you tell me more about that?”

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Small Talk 101: Moving along

• Conversation killers & taboo topics

• Pregnant pauses and parachute lines

• Business card exchange

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Follow up, follow through, and don’t forget to say thank you! (Tips from Susan RoAne)• Don’t confuse mingling (handshakes & hellos) with

networking (building relationships). You need both!

• Follow up within 1-2 Days.

• Find out how the person wants you to contact them (email, telephone, assistant?)

• Handwritten note v. email

• Don’t forget to thank them for their time, advice and any other help.

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Make your small talk “stick”

• Simplicity

• Unexpectedness

• Concreteness

• Credibility

• Emotions

• Stories

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Networking library

• How to Work a Room and/or Secrets of Savvy Networking by Susan RoAne

• Non-stop Networking, Savvy Networking, and/or Million Dollar Networking by Andrea Nierenberg

• Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty by Harvey Mackay

• The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine

• Table Talk: The Savvy Girl’s Alternative to Networking and/or The Savvy Gal’s Guide to Online Networking (or What Would Jane Austen Do?) by Diane K. Danielson

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Create your own “Table Talk” opportunities

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MySpace and Facebook and LinkedIn, Oh My!

• Privacy matters

• You are who you associate with.

• It’s quality, not quantity.

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Twitter is not for twits

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Do I really need a second life?

Darci Dubruyere: Welcome to Athena Isle.Guest: Thanks. Darci: Today we’re talking about networking.

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Putting it back into the human perspective

• You can’t force a phone person into an email relationship (and vice versa).

• If you wouldn’t do it in person, don’t do it online.

• Online networking does not replace face-to-face networking.

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3 Final “Table Talk” Tips

• Set your strategy

• Find your forum

• Apply the airplane test

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Thank you!