newsletter of the keysborough eagles social golf...

WEDGETALES Newsletter of the Keysborough Eagles Social Golf Club

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 12:46 PM 10/04/2011

Some of the Garfield winners are imbedded in this photo somewhere but most of those pictured did not win anything. GARFIELD WRAPUP

Another fun filled day at Garfield. Ambrose fours was the game so that means everyone thinks they played well with some breaking par (and other things). The course was pretty good considering the weather. A couple of the greens were a bit bumpy but all in all, it was not bad. The weather held off for most but the last couple of groups copped a 10 minute heavy shower. We went back to the Tennis club for lunch and I have to say the snags were exceptionally good. Well done Nick. Can we please have them again? Charlie got writers cramp with the sheriff’s fines but was not fined himself for failing to wear his hat! That will have to rectified.

NEXT GAME

WHERE – Devil Bend WHEN – 17th April TIME – 7.25am SHIRT – White COST - $45 GAME – Stableford

GARFIELD RESULTS

Winners –Troy Jeffs, Ian Deans, Mark Moran, John Moran (51.125) Runners up – Charlie Welsh, Kris Hogan, Craig MacGregor, Peter Russell (52.375) NTP’s – Craig MacGregor, Colin Wiseman Longest Drive’s – Troy Jeffs, John Roberts NAGA’s – Jeff Stevens, Brian Young, Alex Wright, Nick Noone (60.5 c/b) APRIL BIRTHDAYS

2nd – Wayne Johnston 4th – Mick Ryan 7th – Dennis Williams 18th - Haache Nepia 19th – Kris Hogan, Tony Kelly (65th) 26th – John Moran, Mick Moyles 29th – Carle Morgan GARFIELD SHERIFF’s REPORT

Due to a filing mishap, there will not be a sheriff’s report for Garfield. I am not certain but I think the report was filed in the WP13. Sorry about that!

A picture of Mark without a drink in his hand. Very rare photo.

WEDGETALES Newsletter of the Keysbouugh Eagles Social Golf Club

2/2

GOOD FRIDAY GAME

This years game against our old foe Seaford RSL will be played at CENTENARY PARK commencing at 7.15am. Back to tennis club for fish & chips! If you can get any donations for our pick of the table raffles they would be most welcome! Proceeds go to the Childrens Hospital. Club shirts (white) cost $40. Ring Tony Kelly 97982435 or 0410879788.

NEXT GAME AFTER NEXT GAME

WHERE – Warragul WHEN – 22nd May TIME – 7.10am SHIRT – Grey COST - $45 GAME – Stableford MAY BIRTHDAYS

3rd – Jim Gallin 7th – Adam Thompson, Russell Welsh 11th – Dave Harkin 13th – Bob Eales 14th – Keith Gunstone, John Fitzgerald 15th – Ron Tierney 30th – Sean Lengyel

Jim and Boofa thought it was a pyjama party rather than a golf game. That fine is actually getting a bit stale so please leave them alone . Is that the way you wanted me to say it Boof? EMAIL ADDRESS and PHONE NUMBERS

[email protected] Mark Moran’s number for bookings is: 0417 511466

Charlie reading one of the many fines he wrote. Please note absence of hat.

2011 CLUB CHAMPIONSHIPS

As promised in the last WedgeTales, here is the definitive details for Thurgoona. Depart Friday 14th October return Monday 17th October by bus. Golf will be played Saturday and Sunday mornings. Cost of trip to members is $300 ( this is substantially less than the actual cost). This includes transport to and from Thurgoona, 3 nights accommodation, 3 cooked breakfasts, 2 rounds of golf and a meal voucher for the clubhouse each night. In addition, this cost also includes a club shirt and membership to the Thurgoona club. A deposit of $100 is required by 22 May 2011 with the final payment of $200 due by 31 August 2011. The price of the trip is for financial members only. So, if you are not financial by the end of March you will miss out on the special price. See Dave Harkin to get financial now. PAKENHAM RESULTS

A Grade Winner - Keith Gunstone (37) R/U – Jim Gallin (34) B Grade Winner – Dennis Williams (37) R/U – Troels Volmar (36) NTP’s – Jim Gallin, Mick Ryan, Nick Noone and John Fitzgerald Longest Drives – Jim Gallin, Troels Volmar NAGA – Richard Carpenter (19)


3/3

PAKENHAM WRAPUP

It was the lowest turn out in my memory with only 19 members turning up. There were however, a number of good reasons why the numbers were so low. Our Captain and a few members are on holidays in Asia, swanning around on a cruise. Injuries (Tony has broken ribs) and other stuff also took there toll. It was their loss as Pakenham was in excellent condition as was the weather. It also gave the likes of me and Dennis (yes, I know that’s bad grammar) a chance to win as there was less competition. Actually, when you think about it, if there were 40 members there would be four grades so the chances are the same! Who cares, I won and that’s what counts. Obviously, things were a little more subdued at the tennis club with the small crowd but it didn’t stop us having a great BBQ (thanks Laurie) and a jolly good time. I know I did as I felt awful the next day.

The guys I played with at Pakenham. Troels, Craig and Laurie.

PAKENHAM SHERIFF’s REPORT

With Charlie not there to ensure a goodly number of fines, there were only 18 in total and although some seemed humourous at the time, none stand out as worthy to grace this fine newsletter. However, I will fill the end of this edition of Wedge Tales with a few golden oldies. YUK YUK Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

Carle’s chipping style. Notice the feet are too close together. A bit like his eyes!

OLD SHERIFF’s REPORTS

SHERIFF’s REPORT HIGHLIGHTS November 2002

The Club Champion, Troy Jeffs, took 4 shots before he passed Nashy's drive. Jim Gallin for failing to trouble the scorer for the first 5 holes. Note that Jim was a sick puppy on Saturday. Alex Morozoff for impersonating a pair of hazard lights – The red pants said it all. Darrell Dell fell of a chair at the pub. I am certain it had nothing to do with the 2 bottles of red he and Alex drank. Steve Skidmore for leaving his clubs all over the course – ask him about it. Mick Corrie woke the manager at 2am because he couldn’t open his door with his key. Vic Wright dressing for the snow. Mick the bus driver for trying to get some fool to hit an exploding golf ball. John Roberts for hitting an exploding golf ball. YUK YUK

A pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o' his trousers. The bartender asks, "What the hell is that ships wheel for?" The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?


4/4

It’s a good job we don’t have any posers in our club. GOLDEN OLDIE

I was recently asked (again) how to score stableford so for the last time here it is: How to score stableford.

You must firstly know what your handicap is as it is a critical ingredient in finalising your points. Next you need to be able to multiply 18 a number of times, in some cases, as many as four times. Once you have these two basics down pat, the rest is easy. Simply count the number of shots you have (including fresh airs, gimmeys and penalties). Check the rating on the hole (it’s on the card). Next, add 18 a number of times to the hole rating until the result is greater than your handicap. Then subtract the last 18. You can subtract the first 18 if you added more than one 18 as each 18 has the same numerical value which is, 18. Then count the number of 18’s you added before you subtracted the last (or first) one. You then add another 1 to that result which will tell you how many shots you have on the hole. You then simply take away the result of your calculation from the number of shots you had. This will tell you how you rated against the par for the hole. If you had a par, you get 2 points. For each shot worse than par you deduct 1 point and keep doing this as many times as necessary until you have deducted 2 points. At this point in time, you should have picked up your ball because you are out.

On the positive side, if your result of the calculation above is less than par, you add 1 to 2 for each shot you are less than par. Keep doing this until you get to 5. If you are still going at 5, go back to the original calculation as you either made a mistake, or you are cheating! How to score stableford, another way. Ask someone who knows.

END OF THE ROAD

There comes a time when all good things come to an end. Assuming WedgeTales has been a good thing, it also has come to an end. This will be the last newsletter in this format. I have been writing WedgeTales since July 2002 and am now having difficulty filling the pages and where once I thrived on it and did enjoy doing it, that is no longer the case. Yes, it’s become a bit of a chore and so I will make this the last edition. I have certainly appreciated the feedback I received over the years as it has all been positive. I am proposing a 1 page list of scores from previous game, a summary of the next game and any other relevant info for members. This however, will be emailed only. NO hardcopy. So if you have, or have access to, an email address, please let me know and I will add it to the list. I would like to thank Darrell Dell and Phil Horsburgh for their efforts in getting WedgeTales printed over the last few years. Tha, tha, tha, that’s all folks!


5/5

MAJOR FUNDRAISER

This year your committee has decided to run a major fund raising raffle in lieu of the Cove meat tray raffles and Ten Ton club. Each paid up member will be asked to sell a minimum of one book of raffle tickets. If you can sell more all the better..!! The aim of the raffle is to involve ALL members in fund raising and ensure the club remains in a viable financial position. The funds raised from the raffle will support discounts on season trips and keep the cost of games and membership fees as low as possible. All members will benefit..!!! Each book will contain 20 tickets at $5 each – total book value = $100 The prizes are 1st prize – 10 slabs or voucher to the value of $450 2nd prize – 5 slabs or voucher to the value of $225 3rd prize – 3 slabs or voucher to the value of $135 If the winner elects to take the voucher they can have the choice of their own e.g.: Myer, Dan Murphy, Coles, Woollies, Kmart or anything they choose to the above value. The club will arrange purchase of the voucher. If the winner prefers the slabs the club will provide a choice of VB, Carlton Draught, Melb Bitter, Carlton Cold, Blonde or Cascade Light. Tickets for the raffle will be distributed at the TRAFALGAR GAME 19/6/11 or by mail to members not at the game. Sale of tickets will run from 19/6/11 through to 14/8/11 – MELTON GAME. All ticket buts and money must be

returned to nominated committee members by

14/8/11.

The prize winners will be

drawn and notified after the

Montuna game on 18/9/11.

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