The Evolution Of Football

I figured out why the Mayans calculated the date of the end of the world

All of a sudden football doesn’t seem so violent

They had this thing called the

Mayan Ballgame that they cut

your head off if you played like a

little turd

The Native Americans played with spears

In 5th grade Social Studies class I did this project on the Native Americans and my baller teacher reacted very strongly to it, which means you can put faith

in the things I say

You’re telling me that the violence embedded in our modern American culture does not stem from the

violent ways of the original Americans?!

Teddy Roosevelt told his son it was better to die playing

football than to be a punk

[sn]itch

They commemorated the teddy bear after such a man

’98 was the year

Rex Grossman?

A German in Germany got really excited when the

conversation turned to the ’07 Super Bowl (somehow), but when I mentioned Rex

Grossman, he got confused.

I remember late nights playing Madden in Ann Arbor

▪ Randy Moss in real life was the only player to play like a

Madden character

▪ Michael Vick in the game was ridiculous

The Richard Sherman effect

Yet another football player gets shot outside a strip/night club

And they say rappers are the scum of society, pfff!

Still though – None of that matters for the final gameday experience