nonviolent communication: a conceptual … conceptual framework for intervention and prevention of...
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K E N N E T H W O O G , P S Y . D .
A S S O C I A T E D I R E C T O R , P R Y D E
P E P P E R D I N E U N I V E R S I T Y
K W O O G @ P E P P E R D I N E . E D U
P R E S E N T A T I O N :W W W . W O O G L A B S . C O M
Nonviolent Communication:A Conceptual Framework for
Intervention and Prevention of Bullying
Introduction
Clinical psychologist Specialization in adolescents and young adults
Associate Director of PRYDE Clinical training supervisor – Pepperdine University Irvine
Private Practice Computer and video gaming addiction – Harm Reduction Model
PC Moderator™
Clinical Orientation – Radical Behaviorist Behavioral and CBT (ACT)
Parenting by Numbers™ Online Token Economy
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Experience with Bullying and School Violence OCSD SMART Team 2006-2010 Counselor Intern in Elementary and Middle School
PRYDE
Pepperdine Resource Youth Diversion and Education
Pepperdine University Graduate School of Education and Psychology Community Based Clinical Training Program
Training MFT and Psychology Practicum Students and Interns
Provide Juvenile Diversion counseling and case management services for contract cities and unincorporated areas of Orange County
Referrals from law enforcement, probation including SMART
Affiliated programs include school and community based counseling programs including campus clinics throughout So. California
Agenda
Overview of Bullying
Causes / Consequences of Bullying
Prevention and Intervention Programs
Introduction to Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Brief history of Marshall Rosenberg and NVC
Foundation: observations, feelings, needs and requests
Learning NVC
Bullying Intervention and Prevention Framework
Structural Components
Educational Components
Counseling Components
Definition of Bullying
Aggressive behavior based on an imbalance of power between the perpetrator and the target is intentionally harmful and occurs repetitively (Olweus et al., 1999)
Persistent threatening and aggressive behavior directed toward other people, especially those who are smaller or weaker (APA)
Bullying: Multiple Factors
Individual Factors
Familial
Factors
Peer Group Factors
School Factors
Community Factors
Social Ecological Model of Bullying (2009) Swearer, Espelage & Napolitano
Individual Factors
Bully Victim
Anxiety √
Depression √ √
Conduct Problems √
Social skills deficits
Anger/Affect Regulation Problems √
Lower empathic concern √
Positive attitude about bullying √
Familial Factors
Bullies are more likely to live with: Parent pro-aggression attitudes
High control, low warmth parenting
Anxious/Avoidant attachment to caregivers
Corporal punishment
Siblings they also frequently victimize
Victims are more likely to live with: Less authoritative parents
Low levels of negotiation
High degrees of conflict
Lower socioeconomic status
Peer Factors
Peers select group with similar interests, values. Exclude individuals “threatening” the group cohesion
Allies part of protected group
Dominance Theory Aggression serves to establish social status/order
Bystanders less willing to aid victim
Attraction Theory Adolescents attracted to peers that model independent (i.e.
delinquent) behavior
Support also from popularity research
Transition periods are of increased risk
Positive peer social support can provide protective factors
School Factors
Factors predictive of greater bullying behaviors Poor monitoring of public spaces
Informal student-staff/teacher relations
High conflict school environment
Factors predictive of less bullying behaviors Classroom practices and teacher attitudes Teacher warmth
Fast and consistent response to classroom aggression
Schools with emphasis on learning
Community Factors
How safe is the community?
Are schools valued and well supported?
Are community resources for victims and bullies available?
Counseling, parenting programs, youth activities
After school programs
School and family partnerships
My Bodyguard: Bully/Victim Characteristics
Copyright© 1980 20th Century Fox All Rights Reserved, Reproduced under Fair Use (Title 17: Chapter 1 § 107)
My Bodyguard: Associates
Copyright© 1980 20th Century Fox All Rights Reserved, Reproduced under Fair Use (Title 17: Chapter 1 § 107)
My Bodyguard: Revenge Through Violence
Copyright© 1980 20th Century Fox All Rights Reserved, Reproduced under Fair Use (Title 17: Chapter 1 § 107)
My Bodyguard:Naïve Parents
Copyright© 1980 20th Century Fox All Rights Reserved, Reproduced under Fair Use (Title 17: Chapter 1 § 107)
My Bodyguard:Ineffective School Policies
Copyright© 1980 20th Century Fox All Rights Reserved, Reproduced under Fair Use (Title 17: Chapter 1 § 107)
My Bodyguard:Retaliation
Copyright© 1980 20th Century Fox All Rights Reserved, Reproduced under Fair Use (Title 17: Chapter 1 § 107)
My Bodyguard: Happy Ending
Copyright© 1980 20th Century Fox All Rights Reserved, Reproduced under Fair Use (Title 17: Chapter 1 § 107)
Consequences for Bully, Victim and Society
Depression, anxiety and other mental illness Greater suicidal ideation, loneliness, lowered self esteem
Increased physical illness Headaches, stomach problems
Lowered school performance School avoidance, attendance problems
Lower grades predicted for bully and victim
Bullying is a lifespan problem Both short term and long term negative consequences
Greater aggression and violence predicted in dating and intimate partner relationships (bully)
Motivation for Anti-Bullying Efforts
Improve the quality of student’s lives and educational experience
Reduce school violence
Improve school attendance
Academic improvement
Reduce risk of litigation
Meet State requirements
Anti-bullying Programs
Many programs commercially available
Less than ¼ are supported with evidence
Can be expensive to fully implement
Best known and evaluated world-wide is Olweus™ Bullying Prevention Program
Originated out of Norway
Comprehensive – multilevel program (Individual, School, Classroom and Community levels)
Well structured and supported (training, etc.)
50% reduction in some studies - US results more modest effect
Components of Anti-Bullying Program
Structural Staff participation, executive commitment
School, classroom rules and consequences
Establish bully reporting and handling methods
Program finance, management and evaluation
Educational Educate students on rules and consequences
Empathy training for students, teachers and staff
Anger Management training
Parent outreach/training
Counseling Interventions for Bully/Victim Individual and group counseling
Conflict Mediation Process
Life-Enriching Education
Created by Marshall Rosenberg almost 50 years ago
“An education that prepares children to learn throughout their lives, relate well to others and themselves, be creative, flexible and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all humankind.” (2003, Rosenberg)
Implemented in schools throughout the world
While results promising and some schools still remain, not a great success
Failed to catch on: too ambitious
Completely change how students are taught and evaluated
Marshall Rosenberg
• PhD in Psychology in 1961 at University of Wisconsin• Studied under Carl Rogers
• Developed his NVC process and was first used in federally funded school projects in the 1960s for mediation and communications skills training
• Founder of the Center of Nonviolent Communications (1984)• International peace keeping organization.
• Now has over 200 certified trainers in 35 countries around the world
"Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.“
NVC Process
The Concrete actions we observe that affect our well-being
How we feel in relation to what we observe
The needs, values, desires, etc. that create our feelings
The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives
Four Components of NVC
Observations - When I see (hear) …. No judgment, criticism, put downs, sarcasm, bitterness
Feelings - I feel …. Sharing honestly about our feelings – no insults or –ed
statements
Needs – Because I am needing…. We all have universal human needs
Critical to get in touch with our needs
Requests - And I would like …… OR would you be willing to ….. No demands, must be willing to accept “No”
Feelings When Needs Are Being Met*
EXHILARATEDblissfulecstaticelatedenthralledexuberantradiantrapturousthrilled
EXCITEDamazedanimatedardentarousedastonisheddazzledeagerenergeticenthusiasticgiddyinvigoratedlivelypassionatesurprisedvibrant
AFFECTIONATEcompassionatefriendlylovingopen heartedsympathetictenderwarm
CONFIDENTempoweredopenproudsafesecure
ENGAGEDabsorbedalertcuriousengrossedenchantedentrancedfascinatedinterestedintriguedinvolvedspellboundstimulated
*Small sample
Feelings When Needs Are Not Being Met*
SADdepresseddejecteddespairdespondentdisappointeddiscourageddisheartenedforlorngloomyheavy heartedhopelessmelancholyunhappywretched
PAINagonyanguishedbereaveddevastatedgriefheartbrokenhurtlonelymiserableregretfulremorseful
DISCONNECTEDalienatedaloofapatheticboredcolddetacheddistantdistractedindifferentnumbremoveduninterestedwithdrawn
AFRAIDapprehensivedreadforebodingfrightenedmistrustfulpanickedpetrifiedscaredsuspiciousterrifiedwaryworried
*Small sample
Universal Human Needs*
CONNECTIONacceptanceaffectionappreciationbelongingcooperationcommunicationclosenesscommunitycompanionshipcompassionconsiderationconsistencyempathyinclusionintimacylove
HONESTYauthenticityintegritypresence
PLAYjoyhumor
PEACEbeautycommunioneaseequalityharmonyinspirationorder
MEANINGawarenesscelebration of lifechallengeclaritycompetenceconsciousnesscontributioncreativitydiscoveryefficacyeffectivenessgrowthhopelearningmourningparticipation
PHYSICAL |WELL-BEINGairfoodmovement/exerciserest/sleepsexual expressionsafetysheltertouchwater
*Small sample
Expressing honestly
O – Observation (no judgment, criticism, put downs, sarcasm, bitterness)When I see (hear) ….
F – Feelings (sharing honestly about our feelings – no insults or –ed statements) I feel ….
N – Needs (we all have needs)Because I am needing….
R – Request (no demands, must be willing to accept “No”)And I would like …… OR would you be willing to …..
Receiving empathically
O – Observation (no judgment, criticism, put downs, sarcasm, bitterness)When you see (hear) ….
F – Feelings (sharing honestly about our feelings – no insults or –ed statements) Do you feel …. ?
N – Needs (we all have needs)Because you are needing….
R – Request (no demands, must be willing to accept “No”)And would like …… (specific action)
The Language of NVC
Taught as a new language Helps others hear us more accurately
Can start teaching at any age (earlier the better)
Proficiency improves over time
Teaches self awareness and mindfulness Roots of feelings are needs, awareness of needs brings greater
personal responsibility
Teaches responsibility for our choices
Tools such a Giraffe and Jackal Puppets used Empathic vs. unhelpful critical thoughts
Distancing/defusion (ACT) from thoughts
Helps an individual to apply self empathy Helps with anger management
Marshall Rosenberg Training Clip
Copyright© 2001 Center for Nonviolent CommunicationAll Rights Reserved, Reproduced under Fair Use (Title 17: Chapter 1 § 107)
Training
Books
Workbooks
Videos
Audio tapes/Cds
NVC Practice Groups
NVC Training Programs
NVC Certified Trainers
Bullying Intervention and Prevention Framework
Structural Staff participation, executive commitment
School, classroom rules and consequences
Establish bully reporting and handling methods
Program finance, management and evaluation
Educational Inform and reinforce rules and consequences
Empathy training for students, teachers and staff*
Anger management training*
Parent outreach/training*
Counseling Interventions for Bully/Victim Individual and group counseling*
Conflict Mediation* *NVC training as universal language of empathy
NVC as Empathy Training
Empathy training will directly enhance empathic concern
Age/culture appropriate workbooks are already available or can be developed
Limited class time spent on training Take home assignments involve parents
Videos, online activities
Workshops and activities Upper graders can be trainers for the younger students
Mandatory participation required for bullies in lieu of suspension or expulsion
Individual and group counseling includes NVC coaching
References
Rosenberg, M. (1999) Nonviolent Communication a Language of Compassion
Rosenberg, M. (2003) Raising Children Compassionately
Rosenberg, M. (2003) Life Enriching Education: Nonviolent Communications Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict and Enhance Relationships
Swearer, S., Espelage, D. , Napolitano S. (2009) Bullying Prevention and Intervention: Realistic Strategies for Schools . The Guilford Practical Intervention in Schools Series
Resources
California Department of Education: Bullying Publications & Resources http://www.cde.ca.gov/ls/ss/se/bullyres.asp
Center for Nonviolent Communication http://www.cnvc.org/
StopBullying.gov
http://www.stopbullying.gov/
Bullying Prevention Resource Guide: Colorado Trust
http://www.bullyingprevention.org/