As a special feature to the Stargazer, sophomore Halina Konowal shares her opinions on the current

crisis in Ukraine.

Russia expanded into the Ukranian city of Crimea, and is now on the border of

Ukraine. North sophomore Halina Konowal, whose family is from Ukraine, said “when Ukrainians started dying, I got really sad for them.” Konowal’s grandparents grew up in Polta-va, a city in Eastern Ukraine. She believes that if Russia were to take over that part of Ukraine, there could potentially be a loss of culture and history. “Eventually, I want to visit the place that they grew up in.” However, if this crisis continues, she knows that she won’t be able to see the city in its original condition. It would make her sad knowing she could never go back there. Konowal “fully supported” the peaceful protests going on in Ukraine; however, the Russians brought in their military to control the protests. They even went so far as to pay people from various parts of Eastern Ukraine to hassle protesters, which is the reason why

people believe violence broke out in Kiev. More than 60 protesters died and hundreds were injured. Those numbers alone have brought about much resentment for what Russia is attempting to do. Halina says she even went to a rally in downtown Chicago to support the cause. In terms of the aspects of the crisis, she questions, “why is this happening to them?” Her deep connection to Ukraine stirs up strong feelings of sadness and anger towards Russia for wanting to destroy what she knows as her own culture and the culture of her fam-ily. On a personal level and generally for the sake of Ukraine, she said “it’s just sad because all of Ukraine has so much history.” The UN’s attempt at involvement in the situation is pointless in Halina’s opinion. Of the five permanent members of the UN, Russia being one of them, there has to be unanimity among all five countries. An emergency Security Council meet-ing was called which hardly led to a solution because of Russia’s power, willingness, and desire to veto. How could the UN possibly be effective due to that fact? A solution to this crisis won’t come eas-

ily, but Russia’s victory over Ukraine certainly won’t either.

St. Charles North High School April 2014

In This Issue:

Thiele Wins Mr. SCN

- pg. 3

Guys and Dolls R

eview - pg. 5

Mock Trial Wins State! -

pg. 6

Ukranian Crisis Close to North Communityby Jillian StephensStaff Writer

It’s here! It’s here! The new online writing center! Beginning last month, a new addition

arrived for the always fantastic Writing Center. A fully accessible online submission service is now available, as well as the standard walk-in service. Still very new to students as well as the consultants, it has already helped hundreds of North Stars. It’s so simple to get started; all you need to do is share or email your Google document to stcwritingcenter@d303.org, and someone will read it over and email you back once they have finished. This tech-savvy idea is credited to the Cre-ative Writing Teacher Mrs. Shoaf. She wanted to “bring the college feel to the high school en-vironment,” by encouraging independence and reaching out for help. This new format is a way to reach out to more students since the Writ-ing Center was formerly restricted to fourth through eighth hour. So far this system has been used to facilitate the grading process for class submissions and running writing work-shops. The teachers involved with this program have found it very useful as well. Lexy Moscinski, a senior writing consul-tant, said, “I like it! It’s very convenient for people to use since they don’t have to make an appointment.”

It is easier on the consul-tants to review a paper online because they can have more time to review and leave more detailed comments. However, depending on the stage of your paper, it may be more beneficial to have a face-to-face meeting rather than an online submission. Mrs. Shoaf recommends the personal meeting for the early stages of writing such as planning, outlining, and even nitpicky editing. The online experience is more useful for full draft editing of larger ideas and final edits before turning in. “We’ve gotten good feedback on our feed-back,” said Mrs. Shoaf. The online writing cen-ter is really an amazing addition to peer editing and could become a fantastic resource to go to. It has progressed a lot in just five weeks and will continue to grow. Ask your teachers about this resource and email Mrs. Shoaf personally with any further questions at jennifer.shoaf@d303.org.

North’s Writing Center Goes Digitalby Madeline KrampStaff Writer

Read theStargazer

online!

Senior writing consultant Lexy Moscinski assists Nadia Elshareif, junior, with her essay.

Photo courtesy of Haley Doherty

Photo courtesy of Mrs. Froemling

Halina Konowal, whose grandparents immigrated from Ukraine, has a vested interest in the country’s current crisis.

Mr. Wis is the head of the music depart-ment and a band director here at St.

Charles North, and he has been teaching for 23 years. He also teaches both band and orches-tra, and in his classes he always tries to focus on helping his students to “pursue excellence in music.” Whether it’s perfecting one’s air-flow, dexterity or posture, Mr. Wis is there to help kids in need of his expertise. Several weeks ago, Mr. Wis was assisting students as they worked on their auditions for next year’s band and orchestra placement. He provided the helping hand and critical feedback they needed so that everyone can eventually “come together to make something that is special and something that people enjoy hearing.” Mr. Wis is not only a teacher, but a man of planning and logistics. When he isn’t teach-ing, he’s making sure everything works out smoothly. Whether it’s the annual Constellation Concert, arranging guest conductors, or rent-ing space from Elgin Community College for concerts, he’s had a big role in the success of our music department. Mr. Wis is also a tech-nical wizard when it comes to Apple, or as he

states, “an Apple problem.” Whenever a new Apple product is released, he almost always jumps on it. He even designs and codes educa-tional apps for the music department, such as “Note Names” and “Rhythm Reactor,” which help to further the education of students and boost musical performance overall. Mr. Wis has poten-tial plans to commercialize these prod-ucts and put them on the App Store for the world to use. Mr. Wis is a man of many hidden tal-ents. In college, he played volleyball, and he’s always held a fascination for wood-work, a hobby he stills practices today. His whole family is involved with music and the arts. His wife is a music profes-sor at North Central College, and his daughter is a junior at the same school. Mr. Wis is a valuable asset to North’s Music program, thanks to his ability to help the students with their own abili-ties, and make sure that music, in all of its many forms, continues to thrive and come alive here at St. Charles North High School.

Page 2 FeaturesStudent of the Issue: Blakely Thomasby Madeline KrampStaff Writer

Blakely Thomas is one of the most interest-ing people I’ve ever talked to. She can speak four languages in addition to English: Spanish, French, sign language, and Portuguese! She knew French before starting to learn Portu-guese, but says she can pick up a lot more French now that she knows a little of both languages. Blakely is currently a junior but will be graduating a whole year early! She is working extra hard with the addition of 9th and 10th periods to her existing packed schedule. “I’m always doing something!” said Thomas. Blakely has had a lot of success with music lately at North. She has been involved with singing since her freshman year, and in three short years she has become a musical success inside and out of North. Thomas admitted the inspiration that got her into songwriting was the rock band The Fray. Thomas says the lyrics really spoke to her and she wanted to reach out to people like they did. The only instrument she plays right now is piano but, get ready for this, she can’t read sheet music! She states that she just hears the notes and can repeat them or can watch some-one play a set and replicate it all from memory. Blakely performed her song “Falling” at the Hope assembly two years in a row, but this year she decided to put her song on iTunes, along with her song “If You Wanted,” and donate all the proceeds to Tri-City Family Services. She was thrilled to hear that she had 26 five-star reviews and said that “people are reacting so positively” and that she was excited

to “affect so many people.” Blakely also said that this reaction gave her reassurance for a career in music. Her goal is to become a singer/songwriter, but she doesn’t “want to be a [stereo-typical] star.” As for her college education, theology and psychology interests her because she wants to be able to help people as a back up career. “I know this sounds cliche, but no one is like you and you should always put others before yourself,” said Thomas. Since Blakely loves to help people, she currently volunteers with a thera-peutic riding program to help children with both mental and physical disabili-ties. She feels it is a “rewarding experi-ence to help the children and also loves working with the horses.” She has been riding horses for a while as well and trained to be a competitor for the Grand Prix. She has endured several concussions and other injuries due to horses, but that doesn’t stop her from loving the sport. Her dedication got her recruited to a professional riding barn after a small incident with a horse, in which Blakely man-aged to pull herself back up and keep going. When it comes to horses and life in general, she states, “I will hold on if it kills me.” Blakely has had a lot of success with her music in the short time she has been involved and intends to continue to have success. Her

largest performance was with The Beach Boys last summer at Ravinia Theater. She said it was her largest audience yet and an overall great experience. She is still a very humble person even with all her success and strongly believes, “humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less,” a quote by C.S. Lewis.

Staff of the Issue: Mr. Wisby Kit FaheyFeatures Editor

Photo courtesy of Liam Redmond-Mattucci

Blakely will be graduating soon to pursue her career in songwriting.

Photo courtesy of Blakely Thomas

STARGAZER STAFF

Katlyn Bolf - Editor-in-Chief

Kit Fahey - Entertainment EditorLiam Redmond-Mattucci - News Editor

Brian Callahan - Advisor

Alice Froemling - Advisor

Madeline Kramp - Staff Writer

Jillian Stephens- Staff Writer

Haley Doherty - Photographer

Mr. Wis helps students tune their instruments, like sophomore Ariana Richmond.

Kait Hartig - Staff WriterKirsten Meltesen - Staff Writer

Ashley Schamberger- Staff Writer

Sara Engstrom - Staff Writer

FeaturesPage 3

Club of the Issue: H.O.P.E.by Ashley SchambergerStaff Writer

Mrs. Pheney described H.O.P.E. as “a prevention and awareness club. H.O.P.E.

tries to prevent suicides, substance use, de-pression, and things that some teenagers often face.” One of the advisors, Mrs. Pheney, is also a health teacher at North. She has been an ad-visor for eight years, and her background in health motivated her to become one of the three advisors. Anyone can join this club, no matter your age or gender. You can come even if you can’t make it to every meeting during the entire year. Matt Fredericksen has been a part of H.O.P.E. for four years and said, “My favor-ite thing about H.O.P.E. would have to be the positive environment. H.O.P.E. influences you to make good decisions, and it helps you to make friends who share some of the same interests as you.” When he was a freshman, he was in the Student Life office looking for a way to get involved in the school, and H.O.P.E. caught his eye. Mrs. Pheney said, “We partner with many other different clubs, too. One club we have been working a lot with lately is Peer Media-tion. I believe that it is important for clubs to work together so that we can help to accom-

plish bigger goals within our school’s com-munity. One of my favorite things about H.O.P.E. is that it allows me to build relation-ships with stu-dents and I get to help them.” Over the past few months, H.O.P.E. has done many things around the school. One major event was organizing suicide prevention week here at North. “To help promote this important week, we started a new Twitter campaign where people would post pictures of them and people they trust with the #mytrusted to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and any other social media network,” said Mrs. Pheney. “We also decorated the display cases and

the windows up in the front, we held a student-led presentation in the auditorium, we helped with a mock crash stimulation which is an alcohol-related crash test, and we have helped out with community resources and partner-ships.” After their incredible promotion for Yel-low Ribbon Week, H.O.P.E. has earned their place as club of the issue. Congratulations, H.OP.E. Club.

Empty Bowlsby Kirsten MeltesenStaff Writer

You walk into North’s auditorium foyer, greeted by smiling National Art Honors Society students. The foyer is full of students and adults

chatting and browsing a selection of brightly colored bowls. The smell of soup fills the air. You are at the Empty Bowls fundraiser. This year’s Empty Bowls raised $1,700 and 100% of the proceeds went to Lazarus House, a local homeless shelter. The fundraiser was held at St. Charles High School first and then at North when it became two high schools. The idea began when artists in Michigan made a large clay bowl and cracked it into pieces. Each piece was sent to various high schools. Sure enough, St. Charles High School received a piece which was ground up and mixed into the clay to be used to create the new bowls. The idea was to keep a bowl from each year to crush up into the following year’s clay. Each bowl was handmade and hand painted by the art students at North and other student volunteers. The soups, broccoli cheddar and chicken noodle, were made and served by the FCCLA students while Na-tional Art Honors Society hosted the fundraiser. Everything, including the soup ingredients, clay, and glazes, was donated. By the end of the night, there was only one bowl of soup left, leading Mrs. Creasor, NAHS advisor and 3D Media teacher, to say that this year’s Empty Bowls fundraiser was “by far one of our best.”

Photo courtesy of Haley DohertyH.O.P.E. helps the St. Charles community by raising awareness for issues teens face.

Mr. SCN Crowns its Kingby Jillian Stephens and Kait HartigStaff Writers

For those of you who attended Mr. SCN a couple weeks ago, you know how incredible it was. And for those who

couldn’t attend, I’m sorry. You really did miss out, but we’re here to recap for you. Mr. SCN is an annual event in which multiple junior and senior guys compete in what some might call a comedy pageant. The show began with an introduction and a video featur-ing all the contestants and last year’s winner. After, the boys showed off their unique outfits of choice in beach wear and formal wear. Senior contestant, Matt Fredericksen, wore an original Ariel-inspired mermaid getup for beach wear, while Brandon Raasch, also a senior contestant, showed off his massive hand-made jellyfish. Throughout the night the contestants showed off their incredible talents. At the end of the night the judges, with the help of the audience, who for the first year could electronically vote, chose a winner in the competition. Third place went to Jake Shiltz, a junior, and second place was grabbed by senior Luke Wilczak. This year’s crowned Mr. SCN was Ben Theile, junior, who won the crowd and judges with his boogie boarding beach apparel and his hilarious satire video on “how to be the best teacher,” which was inspired by the American rendition of the hit-comedy series, The Office. Ben believed that “every candi-date did amazing.” Overall, Thiele said the event “was as good as we could have possibly made it.” He also gave a majority of the credit to “the tech crew, Mrs. Boynton, and Mr. Petrie because although no one sees them, they are the reason the show ran as well as it did.” When Ben was a freshman, he told his mother that he wanted to be Mr. SCN, and two years later here he is. While the crown was placed on his head, Ben said he “was overwhelmed” and he couldn’t have made it without “the help from Mrs. Boynton.” Ben said he has “so many things to be thankful for, but [he] also wants to thank his heavenly father.”

Page 4 Features

Hey, have you thought about college at all recently?

Yeah. I’ve mostly looked at private colleges so far.

Really? Any specific ones?

The prestigious college of Princeton University, New Jersey!

Huh. Wouldn’t have picked you out for an Ivy Leaguer, but hey, congrats.

Why a private university though, when there are so many fantastic public universities, right here in Illinois?

Private universities have wonderful academic records.

I know, but so do public ones. For example, I’m planning on applying to the University of Illinois at Urbana-Cham-paign, because they have a fantastic business program I’m interested in.

Princeton has a wonderful biology program along with a superb campus with a total of 80% of undergrads living on campus. That’s got to mean something.

The campus is always a good thing to consider when choosing, but looking at the success of a college’s alumni is even more valuable. University of Illinois has produced 21 Nobel prize Laureates, 20 Pulitzer Prize winners, and even some of the original founders of the NFL!

Well, Princeton has two presidents to its name and has several alumni who are currently on various Forbes lists, including the founder of Forbes himself.

Public universities are much more appealing though. Just the sight of a smaller price tag draws people like myself in, and from what I’ve seen, they don’t slack on the education either. Illinois is only around $30,000 a year for residents, which is reasonable in my opinion.

Although the Cost of Princeton is around $56,000 , you can apply for aid of up to $39,500, and Princeton has several

scholarship programs available to students as well. The cost is justified because of their fantastic academic programs.

But the food will never be as good.

A state unviersity can, and often does, offer just as many academic and social options as any elite Ivy League school. Being able to stay in one’s home state and attend college at a cheaper rate than someplace elsewhere is a big advantage to a lot of Americans. I myself haven’t decided concretely on where I’ll attend college, or even what I’ll be studying, but it’s reassuring to know that there’s many options to choose from, so I don’t feel pressured or penned in.

Liam’s Final Thoughts Kit’s Final ThoughtsThe benefits of a private university, particular an Ivy League school, heavily outweigh the bigger cost of tuition. Besides the academics, these prestigious schools tend to have long

histories of success stories with past students. These historical records give schools like Princeton a recog-

nizable name, and for good reason. I’d like to attend a private university because having a big name on your

resume coupled with your abilities to perform are what’s going to get you success later on in life.

Kit FaheyEntertainment Editor

Liam Redmond-MattucciNews Editor

I guess it all comes down to preference. Public schools offer cheaper tuitions, but they can also offer the same level of academic programs as most private universities.

In two years I’ll bet you five bucks you’re wrong.

You’re on.

EntertainmentPage 5

Album Review: Supermodelby Liam Redmond-MattucciNews Editor

Are you what you want to be? Because the Indie Rock group that’s been taking the

Top 100 charts by storm certainly is. Foster the People, a rock pop trio out of Los Angeles, Cali-fornia, impressed the world with their top-sell-ing album Torches back in 2011. Their Grammy Award-winning track “Pumped Up Kicks,” in-spired by the growing trends of teenage mental illness, gave a display of color that hasn’t been seen in a long time. However, with 2014’s latest “indie” hit Supermodel now on the shelves, the group is once again marking themselves on the music industry with a thick permanent marker. Supermodel, as put by vocalist Mark Fos-ter in Paste Magazine, is “a conversation with God...trying to explore who God is.” No matter your beliefs, you won’t be able to deny that the album’s highly experimen-tal track list provides a very ethereal sense of ecstasy. The first single, titled “Coming of Age”, is a great piece, deeply centered on its array of well-produced percussive noises, all of which meld together with Foster’s vocals to make for a real teenage slammer. Lines such as “Just like an animal/I protect my pride” mix wordplay with a feeling of power and confidence that re-ally make this track sizzle. My personal favorite, “Best Friend,” mixes a thick bass backbeat with a choir of overlaid acappella that give a feeling of companionship, as the title suggests.

Promoting an undying loyalty for your friends, “Best Friend” is one track that won’t escape the judge’s eyes for next year’s Grammy nomi-nations. Of course, for those of you who remember Torches, no FTP album would be complete without a col-lection of quirkily titled pieces, with names so awkward, you’d think they’d tossed a bag of Scrabble let-ters on the floor and saw what hap-pened. Tracks like “The Angelic Wel-come of Mr. Jones,” “Goats in Trees,” and “The Beginner’s Guide to Destroying the Moon,” albeit their strange names, all have a perfect spot to fill on this brainstorm of an album. If you’re up for a trip, lean back and turn on the strobe lights, be-cause this album is going to have you seeing things in kaleidoscope-vision. All in all, Supermodel isn’t going to be for everyone. Despite tracks like “Coming of Age,” the music isn’t built for a mainstream audi-ence. Mark Foster himself pinned the album as dealing with social issues and “the ugly side of capitalism.” However, don’t let that discourage you.

If you care to sit down and listen closely, you’ll discover little musical secrets scattered throughout the album like an aural scavenger hunt; take the time to find them, and suddenly Supermodel might just become the best thing you’ve ever heard. In 2014, anyways.

Based on the novel by Jo Swerling and Abe Burrows, Guys and Dolls was a hit at North.

The opening scene portrayed New York in the late 1930s with gangsters, prostitutes, and the town drunk. To combat these “sinners,” mem-bers of the Save-a-Soul mission marched around stage, thus beginning Act One. With the help of the beautiful backdrops, costumes, and music the audience were trans-ported back in time. The Chicago business Broadway Costumes, INC. provided colorful and vintage-style clothing for the performers that exemplified the professional atmosphere. Mr. Morgan, the director, used the original music and lyrics by Frank Loesser that were in the musical Guys and Dolls from the 1950s. Even after the long spring break and cold epidemic, the actors, under the guidance of Mr. Molloy, the vocal director, performed splendid-ly, especially in harmony with those performing in the pit which was led by Mr. Wis.

“Brandon [Raasch, who played Sky Mas-terson,] went to Germany for about ten days and that cut a bit into the second to last week of practicing,” said Greg Dieter, junior, formerly known as Benny Southwest, gangster. “But when it came right down to tech week we all re-ally whipped ourselves into shape by putting in extra hours of practice.” To be paired with such strong talent, the choreography must be impressive as well. Scenes like Havana and performances from the Hot Box required lots of practice and precision, and after weeks of hard work the scenes were magnificent. “Everyone was very excited and had a fan-tastic show,” said Dieter. Actors, tech members, directors, members of the pit, and everyone else that was involved with the production of this musical did a mar-velous job and made it a great last performance of the year.

Guys and Dolls Reviewby Katlyn BolfEditor-in-Chief

G33k R@d@rCaptain America: The

Winter Soldier Arrived in theaters on April 4th, and after a record opening of $95 million he’s stronger than ever. Don’t miss out on this Marvel Universe-changing movie.

LEGO: The HobbitReleased on April 8th, Bil-bo, Thorin, and the dwarves begin their perilous, yet surprisingly cute, journey on all Playstation and Xbox platforms, PC, and the WiiU

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

On May 2nd, Peter Parker must face his most power-ful foe yet and discover a shocking secret about his enemies.

X- Men: Days of Future Past

The original X-Men unite with their former selves to fight a battle to change the past and save the future. in theaters May 23rd.

Photo courtesy of

Supermodel came out March 18 in the United States, to mixed reviews.Photo courtesy of spectrumculture.com

Photo courtesy of Katlyn BolfGuys and Dolls premiered in 1950 on Broadway, and since then has become a well-known musical.

Page 6 Features

Rising Star,Falling Star

Only 29 more days of school…

News From The Throne now available

in your local bathroom!

The new link camera is huge and scary.

Range is closed--juniors; can’t drive.

...but only for seniors.

Jazz Germany Tripby Liam Redmond-MattucciNews Editor

April snow brings May flowers?

For the fourth time since 2006, the St. Charles North Jazz Workshop

was part of a German exchange trip, this year working with the Albert Einstein Gymnasium, a high school in Boblingen, Germany. Beginning Saturday, Mar. 29, the group took the flight to a week-long journey across the Fatherland, performing and expe-riencing the sights. The Workshop – North’s top tier jazz band - is directed and conducted by Mr. Wojciechows-ki. “The exchange has been in-credible,” said Mr. Wojciechowski, commenting on past years with the group. “To be able to see another part of the world, but more importantly, establish relationships with students halfway around the world (and rela-tionships that last many, many years beyond this exchange) has really changed the lives and world-view of the students that have gone on this trip.” The group had been preparing for this trip for many months, and members were excited for the tour to begin. “I’m excited to go stay with the families there, and experience the immersion of going to Germany

firsthand,” said Jeff Rollins, a se-nior trombonist for the Workshop. “We’ve rehearsed really hard these past few months, and we’ve all played together for a really long time, so it helped us prepare for this trip.” The effort and dedication seen from this year’s group is easy to see. Not including the preparation for the exchange trip, all the members have been hard at work this school year. Just two weeks ago the group performed with the Grammy-win-ning New York Voices, and many of the members have been working on auditions for next year, with a large number of them gearing up for col-lege. “From the beginning we were all friends, and we’ve been playing together since middle school, and as the year progressed we’ve got-ten better, to the point where we are now.” said Jeremy Benshish, a junior and drummer in the Workshop. The week in Germany was a fantastic culmination to many years of hard work and commitment, and a great send off to some of North’s most valued musicians and students.

As Mr. Wojciechowski put best, “Traveling and performing music always brings a group closer together. These are experiences and memories that bond each of these students together for life.”

Mock Trial placed first in the 32nd annual Illinois

State Bar Association (ISBA) High School Mock Trial invi-tational at the University of Illinois on Mar. 8 and 9. When our Mock Trial team, which competes in a simulated court case, realized that they placed first, “We jumped up and screamed,” stated senior Shea Seiff, a Mock Trial cap-tain. Going into State, they had it in their mind that “we have to win state. We have climbed up the ladder to this point,” said Seiff. Climbing this ladder re-quires a lot of energy and they were, “practicing all night the day before,” stated Seiff. Seiff said, “It can be nerve-racking, but the club meets 2-3 times a week, so [the members] get lots of practice.” Both of the advisors, Mrs. VanDeSampel and Mrs. Rob-erts, helped them prepare for state, and the members know that the advisors will continue to help them get ready for

nationals. “There are roughly 25 stu-dents that go to state, but only eight of the students can com-pete for nationals,” said Seiff. When preparing for nation-als, “we have practice camps where we run through the trial from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.,” said Seiff. The case for nationals this year is a civil case involving co-owners of an energy drink company, Ashley Williams and George Romero. “Romero died after consum-ing an excess of caffeine while participating in a zombie run,” shared Mrs. VanDeSampel. The Estate of George Romeo “al-leges that Williams is liable for the wrongful death of Romero,” said Mrs. VanDeSampel, argu-ing that she “‘poisoned’ Wil-liams with an overdose of caf-fiene in an energy drink.” They have spent a lot of time and hard work prepar-ing for state and nationals, so let’s wish them luck during this year’s nationals. Go North!

Mock Trial held a fundraiser to raise money for Nationals on Mar. 25th.

Photo courtesy of Haley DohertyThe St. Charles North Jazz Workshop in Böeblingen, Germany.Photo courtesy of Raghav Cherala

a collection of everything that's "rising" and "falling" at North

Mock Trial Heads to Nationals!by Ashley Schamberger & Christopher FaheyStaff Writer

Page 7 FeaturesUseless Blatherby Liam Redmond-MattucciNews Editor

Heard in the Halls

“MANSPIDER”“Have you ever had a ginger snap?” “No.” “Oh me neither...”

Hey everybody! Interested in journalism?Want to make your voice heard?Got a craving for Nutella?JOIN STARGAZER ... we meet every Monday at 2:30 p.m. in r.429!

“I am not a fan of cake walks””Snap, crackle... what’s the last part?”

”Shoes MUST be worn in the hallways”

“Wish me luck, I’m going to war”

“Dude, you were only in a relationship for six minutes.”

“I gotta pee like lightning”

”So I saw this squirrel yesterday, right, and it was just being all squirrely.”

“He asked for a pony... so he got a pony”

Mozambique has an AK-47 assault rifle on their flag. Just to let the world know that they shouldn’t mess with Mozambique.

Koala fingerprints are nearly indistinguishable to human fingerprints. So next time you’re rob-bing a bank, make sure to bring a koala. Maybe buy him a cute little skull cap.

Bees have five eyes. All the better to sting you with, my dear.

One third of all cancers are caused by the sun. Seems as though the vampires had this figured out centuries ago.

Dueling is legal in the Philippines as long as both parties are registered blood donors. No use letting all that blood go to waste.

If you yelled for eight years, seven months, and six days, you would’ve created enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. So get started now, because my coffee machine just broke, and I NEED MY CAFFEINE FIX THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Starfish don’t have brains. That one in Finding Nemo seemed pretty clever, though.

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump. They can fly though. Disney taught me that.

Elton John’s real name is Reginald Dwight. I don’t blame him for changing it up.

The longest place-name still in use is: Tauma-tawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipuka-kapikimaungahoronukupokaiakitnatahu, a New Zealand hill. I totally didn’t copy-paste that from the website I pull these things from.

Ke$ha has an IQ of 140 and scored 1500 on her SATs. See, only someone that brilliant could write lyrics like “Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”. No, that’s not a joke. Look em’ up, I had to.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV. What happens if I fall asleep watching TV? Bathing suit season or bust, baby!

Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They block the mosquito’s sensors, making it seem like you’re not there. It’s the perfect cover to break into the Mosquito’s Top Secret HQ. Maybe bring the koala with while you’re at it.

Calendar of EventsPage 8

April/May 2014Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday

20 21 23 24 25 26

27 28 29 30 2 3

65 107

May 1

94 8Tutorial

Peer Tutoring(6-8 p.m.)

Boys Baseball vs. St. Charles East

(4:30 p.m.)

17

ETC Schedule

Peer Tutoring(6-8 p.m.)

Girls Water Polo vs. Palatine

(6:00 p.m.)

Girls Soccer vs. Geneva

(6:00 p.m.)

Juniors: PSAE Testing

Freshmen and Sophomores: Career Day

Seniors: Day Off

Boys Tennis vs. Glenbard North

(4:15 p.m.)

22

Boys Baseball vs. Lyons

(11:00 a.m.)

Boys Track vs. Metea Valley (4:30 p.m.)

Prom at Abbington Banquets

(6-11 p.m.)

Boys Water PoloNorth Invite(8:00 a.m.)

Boys Track at Waubonsie Valley

(Red Ribbon Meet)(10:00 a.m.)

Juniors: PSAE Testing

Girls Softball vs. Glenbard North

(4:30 p.m.)

Boys Baseball vs. Geneva

(4:30 p.m.)

National Honor Society Induction

Ceremony

Boys Volleyball vs. South Elgin (5:30 p.m.)

Boys Water Polo vs. Hoffman Estates

(6:00 p.m.)

AP Testing Starts

Boys Freshman and Sophomore Track

vs. Burlington Cen-tral and St. Charles

East (4:30 p.m.)

Breakfast with the Stars

Girls Soccer vs. York

(6:30 p.m.)

Girls Soccer vs. White Fish Bay HS

(7:00 p.m.)

Girls Softball vs. Larkin

(4:30 p.m.)

Relay for Life (6 p.m.-6 a.m. on

Saturday)

Girls Softball vs. Geneva (4:30 p.m.)

Boys Track Kane County Meet

11 12 13 14 15 16Cap and Gown

Distribution (lunch hours)

Spring Recognition Assembly

Jazz and Concert Bands in Concert

(7:30 p.m.)

ETC Schedule

Peer Tutoring(6-8 p.m.)

Cap and Gown Distribution (lunch

hours)

Choirs and Orchestras in

Concert (7:30 p.m.)

Symphonic Varsity and Wind Symph Bands in Concert

(7:30 p.m.)

Girls Track vs. St. Charles East(4:30 p.m.)

Girls Softball vs. Batavia

(4:30 p.m.)

Boys JV Tennis vs. Wheaton Academy

(4:30 p.m.)

Boys Tennis vs. Elgin (4:15 p.m.)

Boys Volleyball vs. Larkin (5:30 p.m.)

Girls Water Polo vs. Rolling Meadows

(6:00 p.m.)

it’s the final countdown!

Tuesday, May 20: Mandatory Grad Group Meeting for all Seniors (2:30 p.m.)

Thursday, May 22: Last Day of School for Seniors! Senior Barbecue (6:00 p.m.)

Sunday, May 25: Commencement Ceremony at the Sears Centre (12:00 p.m.)

Monday, May 26: Memorial Day (No School for those of us who will still be in attendance)

Wednesday, June 4: Final Exams (periods 1, 2, 7)

Thursday, June 5: Final Exams (periods 6, 3, 8)

Friday, June 6: Final Exams (periods 4, 5)

Saturday, June 7: Celebrate Summer!

What’s Up?News events you may have missed in 141 characters or less.

(Copyright pending.)

The search for Malaysian flight 370 continues as pings are still sought, and the cost rises over $44 million.

UConn wins both women’s and men’s National Champion-ships #totaldomination

Blackhawks and Bulls compete in postseason #goChitown!

Carrying many high school students and teachers on a field trip, South Korean ferry sinks near Seoul, leaving 215 miss-ing as of April 22nd.

SCN Auto Show(10-1 p.m.)