Welcome to NUK’s guilt free guide to parenting!

Here at NUK we know that guilt free is easier said than done. We understand

the pressures faced by parents today and have even carried out a survey to help

us understand it even better. This guide is designed to make mums and dads

everywhere feel happier about the decisions they make when it comes to their

families. Whether you like to work, have to work, decide to be a full time parent

or do a little bit of everything; this guide is here to make you feel at peace with

your decisions. So grab a cup of tea and a biscuit (go on, one won’t hurt) and read on...

A bit of background to the NUK Guilt Free survey…

As a parent you will know that your world revolves around your children but

sometimes that world can seem pressured as you continually try to do the ‘right’

thing for your family. Our survey explored the common guilt that parents feel

and we found that a huge percentage of you feel regularly guilty in all elements of

parenting from careers and childcare to ‘me time’ and buying toys.

Families are at the heart of our culture in the UK and in 2012 the Office for

National Statistics recorded 18.2 million families in the UK.

However, the face of the family has changed and many would say there is no such

thing as a ‘traditional’ family in today’s modern society. Netmums.com published

a study in 2012 which revealed 35 different family types – a far cry from the

traditional 2.4 set up. Just 60% of families have married parents and biological

children, 20.5% of families are headed by unmarried parents, 10% by single parents

and 6.1 % families are made up of a mix of biological and step children. 1 in 111

families are headed by gay, bisexual or transgender parents.

Whatever the make-up of your family, it is hard to negotiate a work/life balance – ‘what is that?!’ we hear you cry – as childcare costs continue to rise. A 2013 Daycare Trust and Family and Parenting Institute survey into childcare revealed that the average cost of childcare has risen by more than 6% between 2011 and 2012.

The study reports that a place at Britain’s costliest nurseries cost 25% more than a place at a top public school. Even with employee childcare vouchers in place as a salary sacrifice scheme, pressures can force many parents back to work before they may want to return – particularly in the case of families on lower incomes who have already been hit by a 10% drop in support for childcare through the tax credit system.

Even with careful budgeting for

everyday costs such as childcare, the

odds are stacked against parents as

children grow up and develop a real

talent for what the media lovingly

describes as ‘pester power.’ The weekly

shop can turn into a chore for any of

us with our children falling victim to

enticing advertising for the latest toys,

sweets and gadgets.

The weekly shop suddenly becomes

even more costly – in fact retailer

Littlewoods.com suggested that leaving

the children at home can save up to

£400 each year. But by saying no to

these additional treats are you wracked

with even more guilt?

Like love, guilt is all around us and much

of it is generated by other people such as

other parents or family members. Some

of you even cited health professionals

such as health visitors and doctors as

culprits.

Our philosophy at NUK is “Understanding Life” which is why we decided to explore the theme of guilt in childcare; why we all feel it and what we can do to alleviate it.

74% of mums feel like they need

more support with childcare.

69% of mums worry

whether they have the right

work/life balance, with

55% of mums feeling guilty

about having a career.

61% of mums

said that other

people make

them feel guilty

about what

they do or don’t

do with their

children.

66% of mums feel guilty about wanting

more “me-time”

34% of mums

feel guilty

that they

can’t afford

everything

their children

want.

34%

74% 66%

We talked to 2000 mums across the UK and found that being too busy or too tired

to give their children their full attention, not being able to afford everything their

children want and returning to work are the top 3 guilt triggers – sounds familiar?

Other issues which leave mums feeling bad include not going on more family

days out, relying on the television to occupy children while they get the chores

done and not having more patience.

Not earning enough money, working long hours and wanting occasional “time

out” also leaves parents feeling at fault.

If you found yourself murmuring agreement to these issues and nodding your

head in solidarity then here are some top tips from mums who feel just like you.

We all have a lot on our plates trying be the best mum the world has ever seen but

sometimes it’s important to stand back and focus on you and the little things you

can do to make life run that little bit smoother.

some guilt statistics...

wishing time would stand still?Doesn’t it seem like yesterday that you were bringing your newborn home from hospital for the very first time? How quickly time flies with little ones and how quickly we get sucked back into real life as those precious early years seem to pass us by.

Nearly 40% of the mums we surveyed said they felt guilty about not giving their children enough attention and 69% of mums worry whether they have their work/life balance right. We know that sharing your life with your family is fulfilling and fun but if you have returned to work, or are planning to return to work it can feel a bit of a squeeze. Find out what your options are as an employee because from flexi-time, working from home for some of your week or part time working options, your company is obliged to listen to your requests.

56% of mums we surveyed said that they have reduced or are considering reducing their working hours to spend more time with their children so if this is an option it may help you feel more in control of your work/life balance.

B L O G G E R A D V I C E :

“ Life can be real ly manic with little people

around, but seizing a few minutes in the

morning to get dressed, do your hair and

even put a little bit of make up can make

you feel SO much better within yourself.”

Danielle Parker – Blog By Babyhttp://www.blogbybaby.com

The older children get the more they cost! Insurer LV issued a study in early 2013

which reported that the cost of raising a child to the age of 21 had rocketed to

£222,458. The annual cost of a child as reported by LV is up by more than £4,000

since 2012 and unsurprisingly education and childcare are the largest costs for

parents to swallow in 2013.

Money was the cause of much guilt in our survey with just over a third of parents

feeling guilty that they can’t afford everything their children want. Just over 20% also

said they felt guilty that they couldn’t afford to go away on family holidays or spend

more on new clothes/toys for their children.

There’s no doubt that having children puts

a strain on your finances even without

the pester power but fear not as help is at

hand! There is plenty of advice available

online that will help you to both budget

effectively and reduce your outgoings,

particularly if you are surviving on

one income and claiming maternity or

child benefits. The Working Families

website – (www.workingfamilies.org.uk)

has heaps of support and advice along

with calculators to help you balance

earnings alongside childcare costs.

Over half (56%) of mums surveyed said

they have reduced or are considering

reducing their working hours to spend

more time with their children, therefore

bringing home a lower salary.

However when it comes to days out with

children there are many things that you

can do without breaking the bank. Trips

to parks, woodland areas, and cycle paths

can be a great fun way to get children out

in the fresh air without costing a penny.

feeling the pinch!

Trips to parks can be a great fun way to get children out without costing a penny.

B L O G G E R A D V I C E :

“Don’t feel guilty about not having the money to buy everything your child asks for. It’s the love and time spent with you that wil l build the memories they wil l cherish; not what you bought them. Days out don’t need to cost much or anything at al l, but it’s those fun times that are important.”

White Lily Green - Pondering thoughts of a busy mummy and a browbeaten daddy.http://whitelilygreen.blogspot.co.uk

Right mums it ’s time to start feeling a little bit selfish.

A worrying 66% of mums feel guilty about wanting more

“me-time” and we want to reassure you that this is both

healthy and important.

How many of us have used the expression ‘ah I remember

when we used to get the chance to do things like that’

in response to a friend’s social antics. Well here’s a

news flash... you can!

If you have a good network of family and friends

nearby don’t feel guilty about using them. Arrange

childcare for a few hours a week so that you can have

time out for you...

some time together as a couple. Get into a regular routine of ‘date nights’ so that you can focus on your relationship too and don’t feel guilty about leaving the children with babysitters; it’s good for them to mix with grown ups other than mum and dad all the time. You might even have a close friend who also has children with whom you can arrange a regular ‘child swap’ to give you both some much needed free time. There. Everyone is happy.

If financially viable try and build a bit of ‘you time’ into your week where you have a few hours to yourself to put your feet up with a magazine…but this doesn’t mean a few hours cleaning the house whilst the children are out of your hair!

technology terrors

Sometimes it might feel as if we are breeding the next generation of Steve Jobs

and Bill Gates with the obsession we share for smartphones, tablets, laptops and

MP3 players. Used in the right way these technologies can be a great parenting tool

but 31% of mums in our survey worry about using the TV to keep their children

entertained while doing the chores. We’re all guilty of it and it’s generally a means

to an end – just 10 minutes whilst I put the washing on or 5 minutes whilst I get

dinner ready.

Social networks are rife in children’s lives. ‘Screen Time’ is a buzz phrase which

has become popular within the media and has been the subject of studies into

child behaviour. Professor Rose Luckin from the University of London offers some

helpful advice for managing screens with our children in her ‘Decoding Learning:

The Proof, Promise and Potential of Digital Learning’ study. Her report states ‘what

is clear is that no technology has an impact on learning in its own right; rather, its

impact depends upon the way in which it is used.” She advocates ‘learning with

others’ and using technology as a tool for learning.

Technology is inevitable in our lives. As adults we rely heavily on it so as with

everything – moderation is the key. Try to set some rules in your family for screen

time and enjoy it as a family, there are going to be times when you feel the ‘iNanny’

is required but by making sure your children know the boundaries it can be used to

stimulate learning and exploration.

to conclude...The truth is that we are all better parents when we have a bit of balance in our lives.

Oscar Wilde is frequently quoted: ‘Everything in moderation, including moderation’

and we think never has a truer word been spoken. Children and families should

enhance and enrich our lives not rule us and make us feel guilty. It is important

to factor in time for yourself, time with your partner and time as a family into

every week and this isn’t something to feel guilty about it’s simply mastering the

balancing act!

And as for financial restraints, Children’s key requirements are the same now as

they always have been – they just want to be loved, supported and cared for and this

love doesn’t cost a penny. We believe that parents should trust their instincts on

what is right for their own, very individual, children and spend less time worrying

and more time enjoying!

B L O G G E R A D V I C E :

“ I don’t see any reason for feeling guilty if you want to return to work.

The old mantra ‘everything in moderation’ could not be more true when

it comes to juggling work and raising a family and if you feel that

working helps to give a little bit more of you back then you wil l be

happier for it. It can help you gain perspective on life and make

time with your children seem even more precious. Days with your

children become quality time and al low you to make lovely plans for

spending time together.”

Jessica Kiddle – Two mummy bloggers on mastering the art of baby whisperinghttp:// www.themummyyears.com

For more than 60 years, NUK have been listening to

the trusted experts; midwives, doctors, nutritionists

and especially mothers and fathers, in order to learn

about the needs of parents and baby in those precious

years. NUK teats and soothers are designed based

on nature’s perfect model, mother’s breast during

feeding, making the transition between breast and

bottle feeding easier.

NUK have an extensive range of bottles, teats and

soothers, as well as an innovative range of weaning

products, cleaning products and accessories, all

designed to help make life easier for parents.

Not only is NUK available in over 110 countries

worldwide, NUK is the choice of hospitals too,

with over 3 million teats distributed through

UK hospitals in 2012 alone! GP’s also support

NUK, through ‘Mother & Child’, a pregnancy

guide distributed to all ‘mums-to-be’ in the UK at

their first doctors appointment. We also have the

backing of the dentists too, NUK is the only brand

to have both teats and soothers approved by the

British Dental Health Foundation. It’s safe to say

that new parents are looking for NUK...

about...

One of the trusted experts that NUK has teamed up with is

Annabel Karmel, an international best-selling author on baby

and children’s food and nutrition. Annabel Karmel is the

number one parenting author in the UK and has sold over four

million books to date. Together NUK and Annabel Karmel have

created a range of products designed to make life easier for

parents, whether it’s storing frozen baby food, mashing food to

create texture or making fresh fruit lollies to help soothe sore gums.

For more information on the Annabel Karmel by NUK range please visit www.nuk.co.uk.

Credits

ONS – Families and Households (2012)

Netmums.com - ‘How the Modern Family

Looks Today’ (study 2012)

The Daycare Trust and the Family and Parenting

Institute’s Childcare Costs Survey 2013

University of London Professor Rose Luckin -

‘Decoding Learning: The promise

and potential of digital learning’ study

www.ioe.ac.uk/staff/lklb_30

Mapa Spontex UK Ltd., Berkeley Business Park, Wainwright Road, Worcester, WR4 9ZS

Tel: 0845 300 2467 | Email: mail@nuk.co.uk

NUK is a registered trademark of Mapa GmbH/Germany