oh, boy! more typos! word errors awkward phrasing unclear wording word choice unclear referent ...
TRANSCRIPT
Oh, boy! More typos!
word errors
awkward phrasing unclear wording word choice unclear referent agreement usage/idiom
--the wording is clumsy and awkward.
awk
Problem:
Thus,cooking, or toasting it, and then the bread, now toast will pop up by itself.
Solution: rewrite the sentence
ProblemThus,cooking,
or toasting it, and then the bread, now
toast will pop up by itself.
Solution After cooking the bread, the toaster will
eject a piece of toast, ready
to eat.
Solution: rewrite the sentence
Solution
Cooked bread, called toast,
will pop out of the toaster by itself when it
is ready.
Problem
Thus,cooking, or toasting it, and then the bread,
now toast will pop up by itself.
uncl unclear; also vague, unspecific
(words permit several
interpretations) Examples:
Children are strongly influenced by their parents’ alcoholism.
This also tells us how he felt.
Sanders compares his hammer to classics such as Gregorian chants and Don Quixote.
...so where’s the problem?
Children are strongly influenced by their parents’ alcoholism.
What does this sentence tell you? Do the children like their parents’ drinking?Are they worried?Are they embarrassed?
Solution: replace abstract or general words with more concrete ones
Children are emotionally crippled by their parents’ alcoholism.
Children are strongly influenced by their parents’ alcoholism.
...so where’s the problem?
This also tells us how he felt.
How does he feel? Does he like his father? Is he jealous of his father? And what is “this” that tells us so much?
Solution: replace abstract or general words with more concrete ones.
This story also tells us that he loved his father.
This also tells us how
he felt.
...so where’s the problem?
Sanders compares his hammer to classics such as Gregorian chants and Don Quixote.
What qualities are being compared?What IS the comparison?Does his hammer sing a tune? Does it fight with windmills?
Solution: replace abstract or general words with more concrete ones
Like classics such as Gregorian chants and Don Quixote, Sanders’ hammer embodies the values and traditions of earlier generations.
Sanders compares his hammer to classics such as Gregorian chants and Don Quixote.
ref unclear referent (the word a pronoun refers to—its “antecedent”--is ambiguous or not given)
Problem:
Jerry and his grandfather took his friend to the lake to go fishing.
So who did Jerry’s grandfather take fishing, anyway?
Jerry and his grandfather took his friend to the lake to go fishing.
Solution: replace the pronounwith a specific reference.
Jerry’s grandfather took his grandson and his old war buddy fishing.
Jerry’s grandfather took the two boys fishing.
Solution: replace the pronounwith a specific reference.
Jerry and his grandfather
took Fred fishing.
Solution: replace the pronounwith a specific reference.
Jerry and his friend Fred went fishing with Jerry’s grandfather.
Solution: replace the pronounwith a specific reference.
wc word choice (word does not mean
what the writer intends)
This way
Examples:
Parents do their best to give their children positive incite.
People that work hard often succeed.
The dog growled when he took away it’s bone.
There should be a bondage between father and son.
No, that way
oops, this way
Solution: find the right word
Parents do their best to give their children positive incite.
Parents do their best to give their children positive motivation.
OR
Parents do their best to give their children positive insight.
Solution: find the right word
People that work hard often succeed.
People who work hard often succeed.
Solution: find the right word
The dog growled when he took away it’s bone.
The dog growled when he took away its bone.
Solution: find the right word
There should be a bondage between father and son.
There should be a bond between father and son.
agr agreement (a noun and its verb, or a pronoun and its antecedent
do not agree)
1 1 3 Examples:
Six out of the ten were all-conference, and two out of the ten was all-state.
All women have a right to her own opinion.
Solution: change one of the words so that they agree
Six out of the ten were all-conference, and two out of the ten was all-state.
Six out of the
ten were all-
conference,
and two out of
the ten were
all-state.
All women have a right to her own opinion.
Every woman has a right to her own opinion.
OR
All women have a right to their own opinions.
Solution: change one of the words so that they agree