Big Idea Every healthy relationship will experience conflict. The goal isn’t to not fight, but to fight right. Every relationship first experiences a honeymoon stage, when you both feel like everything is perfect. Disillusionment is the next phase. This is when you discover things that you don’t like and you didn’t know about each other. We must decide to make a commitment that we will stick together no matter what. Remember, choices lead, and feelings follow. Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. When you have conflict remember these important pre-fight decisions:

I will act, not react. We should model what Jesus did and respond to each other with love and respect. 1 Peter 2:23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

I will focus on good, not bad. Anyone can find what’s bad in a relationship. Instead of focusing on what is bad, we have to endure through the hard times and allow time for God’s principals to work.

I will talk, not walk. Marriage is a reflection of Christ commitment to us. We are in a covenant relationship with him and with our spouse. Let’s commit talk through the hard times, not walk away or give up.

When walking through conflict, we must decide to allow Jesus to transform our lives. Make the decision to weather the storm and endure through the challenging seasons. Today’s anger is manageable, yesterday’s anger is disastrous. We must put Ephesians 4:26 into practice, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, and don’t give the devil a foothold.”

Discussion Questions What stood out to you in the message? Ask for someone to share about a difficult marriage season that God helped them get through? Women need security and men need honor. Give examples of how you can fulfill your spouse’s need for

security/honor? Are there unsettled problems in your marriage/relationships that need to be settled? Which pre-fight decision challenges you the most?

Next Steps How can we pray for you this week? Write down each person’s prayer requests and make it a point to

pray for them and text them with an encouraging word at some point this week. Remember, in your own strength it’s impossible to fight like this, but with God’s help you can.

Pray Pray that each person will not focus on past mistakes, but trust God with your today and your future. Let’s

focus on what is good in our relationship, not the bad. Ask God to help you deal with conflict in a Godly way. Pray for every Life Fellowship marriage to be strengthened. Pray for the Legacy vision campaign and continued favor with architects and the city of McKinney.