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18th April ‘15 כ"ט ניסן תשע”ה

פרשת שמיני

לע"נ גרשון בן מנחם מנדל ז"ל לע"נ צירל בת אברהם ע"ה

QUIZ TIME??Answers can be found on back page. Questions and Answers from Ohr Somayach Institutions www.ohr.edu and are based on Rashi

1. What date was “yom hashemini”?2. Which of Aharon’s korbanos atoned for the Eigel Hazohov (the Golden Calf)?

TO

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ALPesach Is Over But Not Forgotten

Rabbi Mendy ChissickPardes House Grammar School & Beis Yaakov Grammar School

פ' שמיני הפטרה: שמואל א' כ' י''ח-מ''ב )מחר חודש(

פרקי אבות: פרק א'הדלקת נרות

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It was well known throughout Torah Jewry at the time of the Chozeh of Lublin (Rabbi Yaakov Yitzchak Horowitz 1745-1815), that the great tzaddik and defender of Klal Yisrael would work especially hard to help any member of his family. Even distant relatives benefitted from this special privilege.

It thus became the established practice, that prior to seeking

a brachah from the tzaddik, a person would acquaint himself with

their family connections.

A very poor man, desperate for a yeshuah, (solution to his

problems) also took counsel and Da'as Torah from the Chozeh - yet

he couldn't easily find a family connection.

Out of despair he did manage to trace some very distant family

connection, but it was a shot in the dark, a very poor try.

He entered the room of the Chozeh and before he proceeded to

pour out his heart, he prefaced his words with his newfound, albeit

distant, family connection.

The Chozeh listened intently, but dismissed him with a wave

of his hand. “It's too far, we're not related,” he said as he saw the

dejected man out.

As the man left the Chozeh’s room, a talmid, (pupil) Reb Naftoli

of Ropshitz, met him and understood from his facial expression

that he had not been successful. After hearing what he had been

told, Reb Naftoli gave the man a piece of advice.

Later that afternoon, as the Chozeh began to daven Minchah by beseeching HKBH, and begging Him bizchus (in the merit of) the God of Avraham, the God of Yitzchak and the God of Yaakov, he was suddenly interrupted by a tap on his shoulder.

The unfortunate man he had previously dismissed stopped him short, exclaiming that he should not be asking for any chassadim (kindness) from HKBH bizchus the Avos Hakedoshim (Holy Patriarchs) as they are only very distantly related to us...

The Chozeh continued davenning and afterwards he turned to the poor man, and assured him that he had just presented the winning argument and he would daven on his behalf.

When the Beis HaLevi heard of this episode he remarked that the argument was invalid. A Zeide is a Zeide, no matter how many generations back we go. We are direct descendants of the Avos and we may rightfully ask HKBH to help us in their zechus, but a distant relative may be considered distant to the point of not really being related at all.

As we leave Pesach behind and begin our journey through the Omer until Shavuos, it is important to remember that during this wonderful Yom Tov, we re-established a connection with our Avos - as we said so many times throughout the Leil HaSeder, “Mitchilah...avoseinu” and “Ve'ilu lo hotzi HKBH es avoseinu...” etc. Now we are able to seize the opportunity and use this special time to ask our Avos Hakedoshim to hasten the Geulah (Final Redemption) - even if we are undeserving - but at least in the zechus of our Avos!

BeNissan nigalu – u’beNissan asidin le'higael. In the month of Nissan we were redeemed [from Egypt] and in Nissan we will be redeemed in the future.

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A Practical Guide to the Halochos of Communal Obligations, Mitzvas Tzedokoh and Ma’aser KesofimExcerpts from the sefer Easy Giving / פתח תפתח את ידך (which includes extensive notes and comprehensive halachic sources), authored by Eli Katz and Emanuel Meyer and available from seforim shops in NW London. H

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tzedakah book cov katz meyer Mar14 COVER SPREADS v10.indd 1

11/04/2014 16:18

In Section A, we clarified the obligation to support the essential communal infrastructure and its precedence over mitzvas tzedokah. In Section B, we focus on the mitzvah of tzedokah and we started with the key sources, its rewards and its focus is exclusively on financial support for aniyim / poor people.

Section B – Tzedokah Chapter 1 - The Mitzvoh of Tzedokoh

B. WHO IS OBLIGATED TO GIVE TZEDOKOH?

1. Every person, male and female, is obligated to give tzedokoh.

2. A child over bar or bas mitzvoh who receives pocket money, cash gifts or earnings is obligated to give tzedokoh.

3. A child who has reached the age of chinuch, i.e. five to six years old, should be encouraged to give tzedokoh from their earnings or pocket money.

4. An oni as defined in C.1, is expected to first take care of his own needs and those of his wife and children, and is therefore required to give only the minimal amount of tzedokoh, which is one-third of a Biblical shekel, see later chapter E (1.d)

5. A married woman may donate a small amount on her own from her husband’s earnings. In order to donate larger amounts she must have the agreement of her husband. However, she may give larger sums from her own earnings, unless her husband objects.

C. WHO IS CONSIDERED AN ONI?

1. An oni is someone who does not have an annual income sufficient to cover the essential household expenses of his family for that year, allowing for a basic standard of living with no luxuries, as defined by the society in which he lives.

2. Household expenditure includes paying all overdue debts and obligations, such as groceries, full school or yeshiva fees and mortgage payments.

3. Even someone who has a regular sufficient income, but has unexpected and essential expenses such as medical needs which he is unable to afford, is also classed as an oni for this purpose and is entitled to receive tzedokoh for this specific expenditure.

4. If someone’s regular income covers his annual requirements then he is not classed as an oni and he may

not receive tzedokoh. However, he may receive tzedokoh for future essential requirements which he would be able to afford only if he started accepting tzedokoh now; for example, funding a modest wedding for his child. Some say that this also applies to living expenses for the future when he will be unable to earn an income. For example, a person may accept tzedokoh so that he can save for a minimal basic pension in his old age, provided that setting aside savings is the norm

5. If an oni’s previous standard of living was higher than the basic, and even if it was lavish, then he is permitted to receive tzedokoh in order to restore his lifestyle to its previous state.

6. A person who is eligible to receive tzedokoh, especially if he is elderly, ill, or requires money for his children’s weddings, and refuses to accept tzedokoh thereby causing misery to himself or his family, transgresses a prohibition.

7. An oni should not collect from the general public when he can be supported by his family, even if he does not wish to receive funds from his family.

8. In general, a person should do his utmost to avoid receiving tzedokoh, and if necessary even work in a low-level menial job to sustain himself and his family. However, a person is permitted to dedicate himself to a life of תורתו אומנותו Torah as his profession, for example, he is permitted to stay in kollel and rely on the kollel stipend for a living. In certain conditions he may also receive additional tzedokoh funds. Consequently, money donated to kollelim or to avreichim is considered tzedokoh for aniyim.

9. An oni who is not studying full time and is fully able to work yet refuses to do so, is not entitled to receive tzedokoh. However, since you will rarely know the full situation of the oni, in terms of his family, physical or mental situation, you should not refuse to give an oni tzedokoh for this reason.

To Be Continued


3. What korbanos did Aharon offer for the Jewish People?4. What was unique about the chatas offered during the induction of the Mishkan?

Mazel Tov to Family Eli Katz on the occasion of

Raphi’s wedding to Racheli Joseph

לעלוי נשמת

שרה בת ר' בערל ע''ה

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5. When did Aharon bench (bless) the people with the birkas kohanim?6. Why did Moshe go into the Ohel Mo’ed with Aharon?

The Torah lists 24 species of birds that are forbidden - all the rest are kosher. Nevertheless because we are unsure of the identity of some of the birds listed, the din is

‘of tahor ne’echal bemasores’ – that we only accept a bird as kosher if there is a tradition to permit it. What, however, is the law when it comes to eating chayos - undomesticated animals? Here, the Torah lists seven species that are kosher, such as deer, but does not explain how to identify them. The Torah sheba’al Peh – Oral Law - says that in addition to the requirement of split hooves and chewing the cud for domesticated animals, for undomesticated animals the horns of the animal have a number of requirements such as being narrow and having branches.

But why is it so important to identify that an animal is classed as a Chaya (undomesticated) rather than a Behema (domesticated)? There are two important Halochos that depend on the classification of the animal in their application. Firstly, while many of the fats of an ox, sheep or goat are forbidden, all fats of a Chaya are permitted. Secondly, when shechting cattle, sheep or goats there is no need to cover up the blood with sand – (called Kisui Hadam). However the mitzvah of Kisui Hadam does exist with a Chaya.

The Rambam and Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 80.2 both rule that if one recognises that the Chaya is a kosher animal, that is sufficient and it may be eaten. The Shach however comments in Yoreh Deah 80.1 that nowadays the custom is to eat only those animals on which there exists a tradition that it was permissible to eat.

The Pri Megadim takes issue with this Shach and in Sifsei Daas, (his commentary on the Shach), he asks

that if a tradition is needed, why does the Shulchan

Aruch make this requirement only for birds and not for

other animals? He concludes no tradition is needed to

determine the kashrus of an animal. As long as it chews

the cud and has a split hoof it is permitted to eat. A

tradition is only needed to determine if the animal is a

Chaya or a Behema and to know if the fats are permitted

or not – when in doubt one therefore one should simply

not eat the fats.

Despite this Pri Megadim, the Chochmas Adam 36.2

(the standard halachic text for Litvishe Baalai Horoah)

agrees with the Shach that even to eat an animal a

tradition is required to permit it.

The Chazon Ish Yoreh Deah 11.4 and 12.5 discusses

this dispute of the Pri Megadim and the Chochmas

Adam and favours the Chochmas Adam’s approach. He

discusses at length the Pri Megadim and says ‘for us

(Lithuanians) once the Chochmas Adam has ruled it is

forbidden to use, and it is to be considered as accepted

minhag, because the Chochmas Adam has been

accepted throughout Lithuania as authoritative...”

A number of years ago, an animal called ‘Zebu’, a

type of domesticated ox that has an uncharacteristic

hump, was imported to Israel and the question of its

permissibility was raised. Many Sephardic communities

especially in India, Burma and thereabouts ate it and on

that basis the Chief Rabbinate decided to permit it even

for Ashkenazim. The Chazon Ish it seems however,

forbade it, saying that the minnhag in Israel is not

to accept it and on that basis the Charedi community

refused to accept it.

Recently the issue was raised again when exports

of the animal from South America to Israel began, but

Harav Elyashiv zt”l ruled like the above Chochmas

Adam and the minhag among the Ashkenazi Mehadrin

community is not to use it.

Do Kosher Animals Need A Mesorah?

Dayan Y Y LichtensteinRosh Beis Din

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What are we waiting for? (Overview of Yoira Deah Siman 89, Dinei Hamtona. For Psak in these matters a competent halachic authority should be consulted)

Chullin 105a: Mar Ukvah says I am like vinegar the son of wine in this matter compared to my father for when he ate meat he wouldn’t eat milk for 24 hours after whereas I am just careful not to eat them in the same meal.

MILK AFTER MEAT

The Tur in Yoira Deah Siman 89 says that this change of meal that we are talking about means from the morning meal to the evening one as they only had two meals in those days. He brings two reasons for this;

1. The meat when eaten leaves a taste in the mouth (Rashi)

2. We are scared you will have meat stuck in your teeth (Rambam).

A difference between the two opinions would be if you just chewed a piece of meat and then spat it out so that it is softer for a child to consume; Rashi would tell you that you won’t have to wait as the taste only comes from actually eating, however the Rambam would say that you would have to wait as there is a possibility that such chewing would still leave some meat between your teeth.

The Tur concludes that one should take on the stringencies of both opinions. The Rosh adds that his would include chicken.

There are many differing opinions about the exact waiting period required between meat and milk based on the gemorah’s wording of morning meal to evening meal, the main opinions are listed below:

• Most Poskim including the Shulchan Aruch, Remo, Shach & Taz say that one should wait a full 6 hours, the Shach (s’k 8) comes out the strongest by quoting the Maharshal that anyone who has the spirit of Torah in him waits 6 hours.

• There are those that utilise the vague wording of the Gemorah mentioned above and say that morning to evening meal doesn’t necessarily have to mean the full 6 hours. The Rambam in Ma’achalos Asurois is equally open to interpretation as he says that one should wait ‘Kemo Shesh Sho’ois’ – like 6 hours. Based on that there are those who say you require you to wait 5h 45 min or 5h 30 min others wait 5h 1 min as it is into the sixth hour.

• The Darchei Teshuva1 brings down from the Mizmor Ledovid that the minhag of Germany is to wait 3 hours. The Pri Chadash2 brings a basis for this opinion. He says that the 6 hour time frame could be calculated as sho’ois zemaniyos3 which in the short winter days could amount to just 4 real time hours.

Tosfos on the Gemorah quoted above has a completely different understanding. He says that to go from meat to milk one just requires a new meal, i.e. change the table cloth and bentsch. Based on this the Rema

later on in seif aleph says that there are those who wait just one hour.4 There is however an argument in this opinion between the Shach and Taz on whether you would be required to clean & rinse your mouth out as well. This seems to be the accepted custom for the Jews of Holland.

From when does the clock start?

The vast majority of Achronim hold that we count from when you finished eating meat.5

What if I’m not sure whether six hours have passed or not?

The Darchei Teshuva6 says in the name of the Tzlach that it’s a sofek derbanon where we are lenient. The Yad Yehuda disagrees and is stringent as it is considered a ‘davar sheyeish loi matirim.’7

MEAT AFTER MILK

The Mechaber in seif beis says you can eat meat straight after eating milk as long as you wash your hands and clean & rinse your mouth out. The Remo there is more stringent – one should wait between hard cheese and meat like one waits between meat and milk.

What do we call hard cheese?

The Taz8 says that it has to be sharp, either through being mouldy or by having been matured in the cow’s stomach (rennet) to require waiting. The Shach9 says that it’s any cheese which has been maturing for 6 months and is hard in texture. The Pri Megodim, Aruch Hashulchan and Chochmas Odom all hold of this ‘hard in texture’ being the defining point here. R’ Aron Kotler only deemed it hard cheese if a grater is required to cut it. The Shevet Halevi wants to be meikel by mouldy cheese and those made with rennet. Some of the names of the cheeses that fall under the above categories are Parmesan, Mature Cheddar, Limburger and Roquefort.

Melted Cheese

The Yad Yehuda is the most noted source for being lenient with waiting after eating cooked/melted cheese, eg. pizza but many argue.

Like in many halochas there are certain circumstances where the ‘stringencies’ get waived, for example an ill person, pregnant or nursing some say would only need to wait an hour and there are those who say that children up to the age of 2/3 don’t need to wait at all, as long as the mouth is clean.

1 Seif Koton Tes Vov

2 Seif Koton Gimmel

3 Calculation of the length of an hour based on hours of daylight

4 Oruch and Hago’os Sharei Dura

5 Remo Seif Aleph

6 Seif Koton Dalet

7 i.e. wait rather than relying on a sofeik

8 Seif Katan Dalet

9 Seif Katan Tes Vov

כולל הלכה ברורהHeaded by Rabbi Yehoshua FrickersThis week: R' Yitzi GrunhutKollel Halocho Berura is an evening chabura of Baale Battim in Golders Green, learning הל’ בשר וחלב currently finishing בס”ד We are .למעשה to מקורות from the הלכה and thank Oneg Shabbos for this opportunity to share what we are learning with you.


7. Why did Nadav and Avihu die?8. Why did Hashem choose Moshe, Aharon, Elazar, and Isamar as His messengers to tell the Jewish People the halachos of kashrus?

לעלוי נשמת ר' אליהו בן ר' אברהם הלוי ז"ל

ר' חיים יוסף בן ר' יהודה ליב ז"ל

מרת צפורה בת יעקב ע"ה

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The Weekly Halachic ConversationRabbi Avi WiesenfeldRosh Kollel, Yerushalayim and Rav at Kav Halacha Beis Horaah H

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Sefiras HaOmerThe Omer was a Korban Mincha (meal offering) made from finely sifted barley flour mixed with olive oil, which was brought to the Mizbeiyach on the second day of Pesach. The Omer is an essential part of our preparation towards receiving the Torah on Shevuos, because we count sefiras haOmer every night until Shevuos. The question is what is the connection between the Omer and Shevuos?

The Medrash (Vayikrah 2) teaches that Hashem told Avraham about sacrifices, and the forgiveness that the sacrifices brings, but He didn’t tell Avraham about the mincha offering, because Avraham couldn’t understand how such an inexpensive and unimpressive offering could bring forgiveness. It is The Omer is even less valuable than the usual korban mincha, because it is made from barley, which is usually for animal fodder. Yet Hashem accepts it as a korban.

This represents Hashem’s appreciation for all our deeds, regardless of how unimpressive and imperfect they are. It likewise represents Hashem’s appreciation for the people who do these deeds.

During the days of sefiras haOmer, a great tragedy befell the Jewish people. Almost all of the 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva died between Pesach and Shevuos.1 In fact, some write that these days are actually days of judgment for the reshaim in gehenom2, others writing that these are days of bad decrees for the Jewish people for hundreds of years3.

The minhag is to observe some aspects of mourning during this period (there are different minhagim as to when one should observe this period of mourning, for example, some people observe it from pesach until lag b’omer, others, from Rosh Chodesh, etc. To discuss the various minhagim is beyond the scope of this work).4

Although these minhagim are not clearly listed in the Gemarah, they originated around the time of the Gaonim. Below is a summary of the most common halachos.

Â We do not make weddings during this period. Engagements are permitted.5 Social gatherings are permitted. One who observes one sefira period of mourning may attend a wedding of someone who observes a different period of mourning.6

Â Haircuts and shaving are not allowed. Combing ones hair is permitted. Trimming one’s mustache is permitted, if it interferes with one’s eating.7 One who finds it necessary to shave for work or business purposes should discuss it with his Rav.

Â Cutting nails is permitted.8

1 עי' גמ' יבמות סב:.2 שבלי לקט ח"ב סי' רלה.

3 ערוה"ש סי' תצד.4 שו"ע סי' תצג ס"א.

5 סי' תצג ס"א, מ"ב ס"ק ג.6 אג"מ או"ח ח"א סי' קנט וח"ב סי' צה.7 עי' סי' תקנא סעי' יג ומ"ב שם ס"ק פ.

8 כה"ח סי' תצג ס,ק טז.

Â The accepted minhag is not to wear new clothing during this period. However, non-important clothing may be worn. For example, new socks or kuppel.9 Utensils may be bought normally during this time.

Â Most Poskim allow one to make a shecheyanu during this time (unlike the three weeks).10 Others prefer the beracha be made on Shabbos.11

Â Dancing and Music is forbidden during this time, including non-live music.12 Accapella music is included in this according to most Poskim.13 To calm oneself or ones children down (for example, when travelling), one may listen to music, especially when it is the slow type. To keep oneself awake whilst driving is also permitted. Listening to kid's CD’s and the music on the phone while waiting on hold is all permitted.

Q. Is it permitted to go swimming or on trips during this time?

A. Yes.14 Some suggest that exciting trips be left until after this period.15

Q. May one change his minhag (i.e., keep a different part of the sefira) from year to year?

A. According to some Poskim, one may change his minhag from year to year without נדרים 16. Others say that it is only(annulling vows) התרת permissible to do so in case of necessity, with 17.התרת נדרים

The Gemarah teaches us that the reason the students died was because they didn’t honour one another.

During the days of sefiras haOmer, we mourn their deaths, and we try to learn from their mistake and try to correct it. We try to honour others, even when it seems to us that they are unimportant. We try to remember that every person is unique and precious before Hashem. This is especially the case in our generation, the generation before the arrival of Mashiach, when darkness covers the earth. In our time, every believing Jew is infinitely special and beloved to Hashem. Rebbe Yisrael of Ruzhin said that in the generation before Mashiach, any Jew who truly believes in Hashem will be considered as precious in Heaven as the greatest of past tzaddikim. When observing the above halachos, let us remember the reason behind them, and improve the way we act towards our friends and family.

9 לקט יושא מובא בתרוה"ד, מ"ב סי' תקנא ס"ק מה.10 מ"ב סי' תצג ס"ק ב, כה"ח ס"ק ד.

11 בעל השבט הלוי זצ"ל.12 מ"ב וערוה"ש שם. וכ"פ באג"מ או"ח ח"א סי' קסו וח"ג סי' פז.

13 שו"ת שבט הלוי, הגרנ"ק שליט"א בחוט שני.14 ארחות רבינו ח"ב עמ' צה. וכ,ה בשו"ת דברי מלכיאל ח"ג סי' יג.

15 אג"מ.16 אג"מ או"ח ח"א סי' קנט.

17 הגר"א קוטלר זצ"ל מובא בס' הל' פסח להגר"ש איידר זצ"ל.


9. What are the signs of a kosher land animal?10. How many non-kosher animals display only one sign of kashrus? What are they?

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ANever Stop ClimbingRabbi Mordechai AppelShomrei Shabbos Chevra Mishnayos & דרכים בפרשה

ויאמר אל אהרן קח לך עגל בן בקר לחטאת (ט:ב)

And he said to Aharon,

“Take for yourself a calf for a sin offering.”(9:2)

Rashi comments that the purpose of this korban was to

act as a kapara/atonement for Aharon’s role in the golden

calf. This comment poses a difficulty because in Parshas

Tetzaveh, Rashi told us that the sacrifice of the ox and

two rams was meant for the very same reason. If Aharon

already had his kapara, why was he required to bring yet

another korban?

The Maharil Diskin offers an answer that there was

in fact a need for two separate korbonos. The first ones

that are mentioned in Parshas Tetzaveh were brought as

a communal korban from communal funds. This served

as a general kaparah for all of the Kohanim, as they were

now preparing to for their new role in the mishkan. Our

possuk refers to the private korban of Aharon HaKohen,

meant to atone for his own personal role that he played in

the eigel hazahav. Although it was true that his motivation

was purely to stop it from happening, thus, entirely l’sheim

shomayim, as an active participant, he still needed a

kaparah.

The wording of our possuk seems to suggest this difference

as well. In Parshas Tetzaveh, the possuk says “לקח"to take; in our

possuk, Moshe personalizes it by saying "קח לך" take for yourself.”

On a practical level, there is a tremendous lesson that

can be learned. In life, there are those that are happy to be

"yoitze zain" with everyone else, and perhaps at times this

may be the right approach. But for the most part, the Torah

is teaching us that we must learn to look at ourselves in

a personal light as well, never being satisfied with just

"going with the flow", and always seeking self-improvement.

If we dig deeper into this possuk, we can take home

another great lesson. The Sifra comments on our possuk

that the purpose of this korban was a gift to the Satan. The

Malbim explains this based on a well known principal that

the severity of an aveirah is dependent upon the level of

the sinner. For a great person, even the most minor aveirah

will have a most drastic effect, necessitating teshuva on

the highest level. By contrast, a person of a lesser stature

committing the same sin, may be "let off the hook" much

easier.

Moshe told Aharon that now that he had been elevated

to a much higher position; his teshuva that we learned

about in Parshas Tetzaveh was no longer enough. Now

the Satan would try and prosecute him again based

on his new exalted level. Of course the original korban

was accepted by HaShem, but the Satan would still try

and cause problems. It is for this reason that the korban

shelamim (peace offering) was left out here, because peace

had already been made between Aharon and Hashem. But

for this new level, there was still room to look back and

improve on the past.

With the realization that in life we must always strive for

growth, we can never be content with our achievements

of yesterday. It has been said over from the Chozeh of

Lublin that he used to do teshuva daily for the day before's

service of Hashem. "On my new level, I now realize that

yesterday's avodah was not enough".

We must seek continued growth. It cannot be that

our commitment to davening and the kavanah that we

have today is no more than when we davened ten years

ago. Have we advanced in our learning? Do we approach

chessed with the same juvenile approach as when we

were younger?

A great 18th century British poet once wrote: Nothing

wilts faster than laurels that have been rested upon. If

we continuously demand more from ourselves, we will be

zoche to reach greater levels and all new heights. Hashem

never asks of us to be a Moshe or Aharon, but He does ask

that we reach our own unique potential, and to get there

we must never stop climbing!


11. If a �sh sheds its �ns and scales when out of the water, is it kosher?12. Why is a stork called chasida in Hebrew?

In deep appreciation to the individual who takes time out of his busy schedule

to compile this amazing Dvar Torah compendium.HKB'H Yishalem Sechorom.

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13. The chagav is a kosher insect. Why don’t we eat it?14. What requirements must be met in order for water to maintain its status of purity?

PH

ILO

SO

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Jewkey #1 At the end of November 1983, I walked into my supervi

sor’s office to submit my resignation from the out-patient mental health clinic where I had been employed for 11 1⁄2 years. Pinchas, my supervisor, asked where I was going. I replied that I was planning to expand my private practice from part time to full time. Pinchas quietly mulled over what I had told him. Then he said, ”I’m glad that you have decided to leave the agency.” I was quite taken aback. Was my supervisor pleased to be rid of me? Had he secretly been hoping I would leave? Before tak ing his comment as an insult, I decided to ask for clarification. “Pinchas, what do you mean by that?”

“Well, I mean, therapists like you are really better off work-ing in a private practice setting.”

Now I had even more questions. I was leaving anyway, I thought, so there’s no harm in pressing for further clarification. “What do you mean; ‘therapists like you’ are better off in private practice?”

”Well, I mean, therapists like you and Yaakov Salomon (a co worker who had left the agency two years earlier) who share the same philosophy of clinical practice.”

“What ‘philosophy’ are you talking about?”

”You believe that you should use whatever approach will work.”

“Of course,” I acknowledged freely, feeling much less defen sive. “What other philosophy of practice is there?”

”There’s also agency policy and things like that to which you never paid much attention.”

We both smiled warmly and knowingly at each other and then went on to reminisce about old times at the agency. Pinchas was on target about my philosophy of practice: Use whatever works, especially whatever works best. In treating couples, I have found that concentrating on the patterns of communication between husband and wife is consistently helpful.

But can focusing on such a superficial matter as communi-cation really improve the quality of a couple’s overall marriage? Can such minor external behavioral changes lead to significant progress and growth? Can all marriages really be enhanced simply by upgrading communication skills?

The answer, of course, is YES. And Judaism very much sup-

ports the notion that people can change the way they think and

feel simply by changing the way they act. The Sefer Hachinuch

(Parshas Bo, Mitzvah 16) puts it this way:

”Now, my son, listen to this with discernment. And bend

your ear and listen. I will teach you to succeed in Torah

[study] and [the performance of] mitzvos. Know that man

is influenced by his actions. And his heart [and mind] and

all his thoughts are constantly [influenced] by his deeds,

whether for good or bad … Because hearts [and minds] are

drawn after actions … Therefore, consider [very carefully]

your job and occupation because you will be affected by

them and not the other way around.”

A similar concept is articulated by Rabbi Moshe Chaim

Luzzato (Mesilas Yesharim, Chapter 7):

”External movements [of a person] awaken internal ones.

And certainly, [a person] has more control of his external

[actions] than his internal [thoughts and feelings]. But if [a

person] will use what is under his control, he will eventually

be able to procure that which is not [currently] under his

control.”

What these two sages are saying is that our actions influence

our attitudes, even if we are only going through the motions.

Applying this to the husband/wife relationship, therefore, we

could say that if couples learn to speak to each other in a more

constructive and effective manner with less resentment and strife,

it can have a profound impact on their entire marriage.

Hopefully, your marriage is in good shape. And if the marital

communication skills described in this book helped at risk

marriages, these same techniques can most certainly improve

any marriage. But even if you are very happily married, as I hope

you are, there may still be some room for improvement. And if you

can make a good marriage better by investing only 10 minutes

a day (not including the time it takes you to read this book),

wouldn’t it be a shame not to take advantage of the opportunity?

This article has been reprinted with permission of the author and publisher

from Ten Minutes a Day to a Better Marriage: Getting Your Spouse to Understand

You by Dr. Meir Wikler (Artscroll, 2003).

Ten Minutes a Day to a Better Marriage

Dr Meir Wikler d.s.w.Psychotherapist and family counselor in full time private practice with offices in Lakewood, N.J. and Brooklyn, N.Y.

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HIS

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RYViews from History A Seven Part Series

Rabbi Aubrey HershSenior lecturer & European Heritage tour guide : JLE

QUIZ TIMEANSWERS

1 9:1 - First of Nissan.2 9:2 - The calf offered as a korban chatas.3 9:3,4 - A he-goat as a chatas, a calf and a lamb for an olah, an ox and

a ram for shelamim, and a mincha.4 9:11 - It's the only example of a chatas offered on the courtyard

mizbe'ach that was burned.5 9:22 - When he finished offering the korbanos, before descending from

the mizbe'ach.6 9:23 - For one of two reasons: Either to teach Aharon about the service

of the incense, or to daven for the Shechina to dwell with Bnei Yisroel.

7 10:2 - Rashi offers two reasons: Either because they gave a halachic ruling in Moshe's presence, or because they entered the Mishkan after drinking intoxicating wine.

8 11:2 - Because they accepted the deaths of Nadav and Avihu in silence.9 11:3 - An animal whose hooves are completely split and who chews

its cud.10 11:4,5,6,7 - Four: Camel, shafan, hare, and chazir.11 11:12 - Yes.12 11:19 - Because it acts with chesed (kindness) toward other storks.13 11:21 - We have lost the tradition and are not able to identify the

kosher chagav.14 11:36 - It must be connected to the ground (i.e., a spring or a cistern).

Typewriter with Alef-Beis keys. Made by German firm (Mercedes)

Last 2 Pages Available For SponsorshipONEG PATRONS/SPONSORS: £1480

which covers the costs of production (design, print & distribution) until Rosh Hashana (29 weeks)Please email [email protected] for further details

Please could you ensure that there are ample sheets left in shuls for Shabbos before taking one home.If you wish to receive this sheet via email please email [email protected]

PLEASE DISPOSE OF THIS SHEET APPROPRIATELY AS IT CONTAINS WORDS OF TORAH

Rov of Moscow - ר' שמריהו יהודה לייב מדליה הי"ד On display in an unassuming small museum in Moscow, are two artefacts which define much of the tragedy of Jewish life in the Soviet Union before WWII: a Yiddish typewriter (in Hebrew the double ‘Vav’ key does not exist, but it is extremely common in Yiddish e.g. וואס ווען, ווי ) and an NKVD Soviet secret police file.

Starting in the late 1800s, secular Jewry used Yiddish not so much as a spoken language but as a written one. They translated and authored books, created dozens of newspapers and wrote political (Bundist) material to promote their agendas – all through print and type.

In 1919, the communist regime gave Yiddish the status of an official Soviet language, but it came at a price: Hebrew was banned. Teaching it and printing it became prohibited, which made it easier to persecute Jews to whom Hebrew was essential: the Rabbonim. Over the next ten years, the authorities closed down almost every school and mikva in the USSR and therefore both to escape arrest and preserve Torah scholarship, many fled the country.

However some Rabbonim remained, to help the millions of Jews who were trapped there maintain a Jewish connection; Rav Medaliah was one of them. Born in 1872 in Lithuania, his family was strongly connected to Chabad, although his yeshiva years were spent in Slabodka. His reputation in Rabbonus spread rapidly, and alongside R’ Meir Simcha – the Ohr Somayach - he represented Russian Jewry in St Petersburg in 1910. He was also one of the founding Rabbonim of Agudas Yisroel in Katowice in 1912.

When the rabbonus in Moscow became vacant in 1933, Rav Yosef Yitzchok Schneerson asked him to take up the position, to ensure that a talmid chochom would occupy this important post. He would serve as Chief Rabbi for almost 5 years.

During that period, several of the remaining prominent halachic authorities in the Soviet Union were arrested, including Rav Mordechai Feinstein (Rav Moshe’s brother) who was sent to Siberia, where he died. By 1939 there were fewer than 250 Rabbonim in the USSR - a country with over 3 million Jews.

A number of teshuvos from pre-WWII Russia have survived and the pathos of the questions portrays the plight of the Jews. One question asks whether the Rama’s psak: [המקדש אשה ויש לו אח מומר יכול להתנות.. שאם תפול לפניו ליבם שלא תהא מקודשת - קנז:ד]can be used to avoid Chalitza, where the brother has become a communist (atheist)?

A second addresses the issue of allowing Agunos to remarry based only on notification by the government. Yet another asks whether the seven call-ups on Shabbos can be done at a different time, given that they are all forced to work on Shabbos day.

In 1937, Rav Medaliah spoke before Ne’ilah, bravely telling his kehilla to be faithful to Yiddishkeit. He had already come to the attention of the Soviets during his Rabbonus in Vitebsk, when he had courageously defended those accused of ‘counter revolutionary activity’, at the cheder trial, but this time the Soviets decided to take a public stand. Shortly after Yom Kippur, the Soviet newspaper Pravda printed an article denouncing him for carrying out anti-Soviet actions, and accusing him of theft and fraud.

He was harassed by the authorities and chased out of his Moscow apartment, settling outside the city limits. State Security then requested a warrant for his arrest, which was carried out on January 4th 1938. For many years, his exact fate was unknown, and his wife remained an agunah until she died. Only in 1964, was the family informed that he had been executed by the Stalinist regime, for which the government ‘tendered its regrets’.

His son Moshe was also murdered by the NKVD, in 1936. Another, Hillel, managed to flee the USSR and having received semicha from Rav Isser Zalman, became a Rov in Leeds and later in Antwerp, where he died in 1960.

Rav Medaliah’s file was discovered recently in the KGB archives and is now on display. It states that the Military Court met on April 25, 1938, without allowing for defence lawyers or witnesses, and sentenced him to death. He was shot the next day, not far from the Kremlin buildings, and buried just outside Moscow, on the estate of the head of the secret police. Between 1937-1941, over 10,000 enemies of Stalin were interred there in mass graves.

Rav Medaliah’s file testifies to persecution, tragedy and mesiras nefesh. Rav Shlomo Zevin writes, that he met Jews who saw Rav Medaliah in jail, and despite having been terribly tortured, he maintained his upright faith and Dayan Abramsky referred to him as a Gaon and a Chassid. His yahrzeit is now known to be on the 25th Nisan.

oneg shabbos shemini

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