ontemplative the elul journal - oneriverfoundation.org

1

The ELUL JOURNAL

in quest of forgiveness and return

Rabbi Rami M. Shapiro, Ph.D.

SH’MA CENTER FOR CONTEMPLATIVE JUDAISM

2 3

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION .......................................................... 5

Selichot/Forgiveness ................................................ 5

Teshuvah/Returning ................................................. 7

Other Practices ......................................................... 9

Prayer of Intent ....................................................... 10

ELUL JOURNAL ......................................................... 11

THE PSALMS .............................................................. 91

CHESHBON HA-NEFESH ....................................... 100

About Rami Shapiro ................................................... 103

About the Sh’ma Center ............................................. 104

The Elul Journal: In Quest of Forgiveness and Returncopyright 2000 by Rami M. Shapiro

All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used in any waywithout the express written permission of the author.

Publisher: Simply Jewish FoundationPO Box 161084Miami, FL 33116e-mail: [email protected]

Thanks to Robert and Holly Schwartztol for their generous contributionin support of Simply Jewish Foundation publications.

Design/editing: WordWorks, Inc./ www.franion.com

For more about Simply Jewish, visit our website at:

www.simplyjewish.com

4 5

Introduction

Elul is the Hebrew month preceding Rosh haShanah. For cen-turies, the 29 days of Elul have been coupled with the Ten Days ofAwe (from Rosh haShanah to Yom Kippur) to create a 39-day pe-riod devoted to teshuvah, returning to God, and selichot, request-ing forgiveness. The practice intensifies in the week preceding RoshhaShanah, and a special midnight meditation on forgiveness is heldthe Saturday before Rosh haShanah to remind us of the impor-tance of teshuvah and selichot for ending the old year and be-ginning the new.

The Sh’ma Center for Contemplative Judaism offers this ElulIntensive as a support for practicing teshuvah and selichot. Thejournal contains entries for 39 days plus seven Psalms, one foreach day of the week. Each page has two components: a short textrelating to forgiveness and the High Holy Days, which is accom-panied by commentary from Reb Yerachmiel ben Yisrael, and thespecific assignment to be worked on that day. Space is provided tokeep a written account of your experiences.

Selichot/ForgivenessSelichot is our quest for forgiveness. There are four steps to

selichot:

1. Honestly admit the harm we have caused.2. Make amends unless doing so causes further harm.3. Ask forgiveness from those we have hurt.4. Turn away from that hurtful behavior and do good.

Selichot requires that we speak to people directly and ask themfor forgiveness. While we may choose to do this in our own way,the traditional formula for requesting forgiveness is this:

If I have hurt you in any way, knowingly orunknowingly, advertently or inadvertently,I ask your forgiveness.

6 7

As we practice selichot, we may discover that some people withwhom we wish to make amends have died. In this case, we canwrite a letter to them and request forgiveness in writing. The let-ters can then be left at their graveside. If this is not possible, theletters should be sealed in an envelope and saved.

Selichot requires a bold, honest, and nonjudgmental look atour behavior and the pain and suffering we have caused over thepast year. Why nonjudgmental? When we make judgments regard-ing the quality of our behavior, we are apt to engage in a conversa-tion with ourselves that shifts our attention from admitting guilt toexcusing guilt, from taking responsibility to blaming others: “Iwould never have said that if she hadn't ... .” When we look at whatwe have done and the hurt we have caused, we are challenged notto judge, but to apologize.

Selichot generates guilt. Many people feel that guilt is a harm-ful emotion. Judaism disagrees. When we are honest about thehurts we have caused, we should feel guilty. We feel guilty be-cause our conscience is engaged. We feel guilty because no matterhow we try to rationalize our behavior, we know it was wrong. Ifwe wallow in our guilt, we are using it as a narcissistic escapefrom having to change. But if we honor our guilt as confirmationof the pain we have caused, it then becomes a catalyst for con-structive change.

Guilt leads to contrition. We feel bad and want to make amends.Sometimes we can and sometimes we can't. And sometimes evenif we can, doing so would only add to the other person's pain.Selichot practice requires an objective look at what we should andshould not do to set things right.

What can be mended should be mended. What can't be mendedis met with tzedakah. If we can't undo the damage we have done,at least we can do some good somewhere else through an act offinancial generosity to those in need. Because we can never besure we have recalled and reflected on all the hurt we have causedduring the past year, it is customary during this period to givetzedakah daily.

Selichot also requires a humbling of ourselves. Recognizingthe pain and damage we have caused forces us to reassess anyclaims we may make to righteousness. We like to think of our-selves as good and decent, and we tend to overlook those thingswe do that may challenge that assessment. Selichot makes no judg-ment of our character and does not require us to abandon the no-tion that we are good and decent people. Selichot simply asks usto do good and decent things.

What if the other person refuses to forgive? Ask again. And ifagain they refuse? Ask a third time. Our rabbis taught that if afterthree sincere attempts to apologize and ask for forgiveness we arestill unforgiven, we are to consider that our efforts themselves haveearned us forgiveness; we are free from the burden of our past,even if the other person insists upon clinging to it. We need not letanother's refusal to forgive become a stumbling block to our ownmoral growth. We admitted our error. We made amends. We askedfor forgiveness. We changed our behavior. Nothing more can or shouldbe asked of us.

Teshuvah

Teshuvah means returning to God and godliness. How is itthat we became separated from God? In truth, there can be no realseparation from God, for God is everything. We can no more becut off from God than a wave can be cut off from the ocean. Wecan feel cut off from God, however, when we fail to attend to theonly place and time that God exists: the Here and Now. God isEhyeh asher Ehyeh, That Which is Happening Now. God is neverabout the past or the future. God is always about the present.

You and I, however, are not always in the present. We spendmost of our time rummaging through memory that we might im-pose what was on what is, or we are dreaming about the future toproject what was on to what might be. Whether we are rummagingor dreaming, we are not paying attention to the present. It is our

8 9

lack of attention that gives us the feeling of being separate fromGod.

When we are present to the moment, we notice the truth ofthat moment—the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritualdynamic that is unfolding at that moment. It may be that we haveto do something that frightens us, so fear is the truth of the mo-ment. It may be that someone is asking us for advice, so compas-sion and objectivity are the truth of the moment. When we knowthe truth of the moment, we can engage that moment more con-structively. When we know the truth of the moment, we can en-gage that moment in a manner that promotes justice, compassion,and harmony rather than exploitation, suffering, and violence.

Teshuvah is returning our attention to the present. When webring our attention back to the present, we discover our true natureas God manifest in time and space. Knowing our true nature bringsus tranquility. We discover a deep inner reservoir of calm that isundisturbed by the storms of life. From this place of calm we arebetter able to engage each moment with honesty and compassion.

How do we practice teshuvah? Observe the workings of yourown mind. Watch yourself and see when you are rummaging inthe past or daydreaming about the future, and then gently returnyour awareness to what is happening in the present.

Do not berate yourself for not being present, for this will onlydistract you even more. Simply acknowledge that your mind haswandered and bring your attention back to the moment.

It may help to set aside 20 to 30 minutes each day to sit qui-etly, close your eyes, and observe how your mind generates dis-tractions. Just watch as one thought, feeling, or sensation takescenter stage in your mind. Do not engage the thought, feeling, orsensation, just let it be and observe the constant rise and fall ofmental activity. Imagine yourself to be a vast sky and the thoughts,feelings, and sensation as clouds floating across it. Just as passingclouds do not impact the sky, so passing thoughts need not impactyour observing self. Stay as open and as accepting as the sky andin time, your sense of separate self will slip away and you will be

awake to your unity with God. Practicing teshuvah in this formalway will make it easier for you to practice teshuvah in the mo-ment-by-moment experience of your daily life.

Other Elul Practices

In addition to the practices of teshuvah and selichot, there are anumber of other traditions associated with this period of the Jew-ish calendar that are used to heighten the importance and serious-ness of these 39 days. Throughout our Intensive, make every effortto do the following:

• Blow the shofar every morning to focus your attention.• Recite Psalms every day to open your heart to a yearning for

return.• Make cheshbon hanefesh, a daily moral inventory, before go-

ing to sleep.• Practice shmirat halashon (conscious speech) and avoid all

gossip.• Give tzedakah daily.• Send Rosh haShanah greeting cards and tell people how im-

portant they are to you.• Take a walk each day to connect with the world around you.• Do something that makes you happy.• Learn something new during this period.• Make time each Shabbat for deep rest and relaxation.• Do something nice for your body to honor it and dedicate its

actions to the good.• Buy something new to wear on Rosh haShanah.

10 11

PRAYER OF INTENT

As you prepare to begin the 39 days of our Elul Intensive, recitethe following prayer as a means of clarifying your intent:

May I cultivate the strengthto look honestly at my actions.

May I cultivate the honestyto admit when I have been wrong.

May I cultivate the understandingto know how best to make amends.

May I cultivate the courageto ask for forgiveness.

May I cultivate the compassionto grant forgiveness when asked.

May I cultivate the humilityto surrender myself to God.

May I cultivate the wisdomto know I do this not for myself alonebut for all the world.

May the coming year be one of sweet delight to all.

Elul Journal

in quest of forgiveness and return

12 13

Elul 1It is fitting for a great God toforgive great sinners.

– Vayyikra Rabbah 5

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Better to live boldly andseek forgiveness than tolive scared and seek onlyto placate others.

FRIDAYSeptember 1, 2000

FOR SHABBAT

Light the Shabbat candles and say:

Where the world is dark with illness,let me kindle the light of healing.

Where the world is bleak with suffering,let me kindle the light of caring.

Where the world is dim with lies,let me kindle the light of truth.

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olamasher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanul’hadlik neir shel Shabbat.

In the arduous simplicity of this moment,I open my body, heart, and mind to stillness.In the deeper quiet I sensea greater Life that is my life.I do not live only; I am lived.I do not breathe only; I am breathed.I am not only the one I appear to be,but also the One who appears as me.

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheynu melech ha-olamborei p’ri hagafen.

In love, I take upon myself the challenge ofShabbat as a reminder of the purpose of cre-ation. In peace, I take upon myself the sanc-tity of Shabbat as a catalyst for freedom andunity. Overflowing with blessing is the OneWho hallows the Shabbat.

14 15

When one who has hurtus sincerely asks forforgiveness, we areobligated to forgive.

– Tanhuma, Vayyera, 30

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:When we ask for forgive-ness, most often we areasking to be excused. Trueforgiveness is not beingexcused, but beingunderstood.

Elul 2SATURDAYSeptember 2, 2000

ON SHABBAT

Make time throughout the day for quiet rest.

a. Sit comfortably.Close your eyes.Breathe naturally.

b. Bring your attention to the flow ofthoughts, feelings, and sensations thatcross your mind. Do not interact with anyof these, just watch them as you mightwatch clouds float across the sky.

c. Continue this for 10 minutes at a time.

d. What do you notice about the natureof mind?

e. Where do your thoughts and feelingscome from? Where do they go?

f. Are you your thoughts? Are you yourfeelings? Who are you?

16 17

Elul 3When we have mercy onanother, God has mercyon us. When we have nomercy for another, Godhas no mercy for us.

– Tanhuma, Vayyera, 30

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:God responds to us as werespond to others. Why?Because God is thoseothers.

SUNDAYSeptember 3, 2000

THE WORK, WEEK ONE

Make a list of the most important people in your life, both those wholove and support you and those who don’t. You will use this list in differ-

ent ways over the next few days.

18 19

Elul 4Five types of people are hardto forgive: One who sins inmany different ways; one whorepents and repeats the samesin over and over; one whosins in a sinless age; one whosins with the intent to repent;one who causes God’s Nameto be profaned.

– Avot de Rabbi Nathan, 39

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:One who sins in manydifferent ways—this one isassociated too closely with ourpain. One who repents forand repeats the same sin overand over—this one is nevertaken seriously. One who sinsin a sinless age—this oneperverts justice. One who sinswith the intent to repent—this one seeks to escaperesponsibility. One who causesGod’s Name to be profaned—this one brings doubt to theminds of the faithful.

MONDAYSeptember 4, 2000

THE WORK, WEEK ONE

Going down the first half of your list, answer the following three ques-tions with regard to each person who loves and supports you (be specificin your answers):

1. What has this person done for me this past year?2. What have I done for this person that was free of any self-serv-

ing motive?3. What trouble or inconvenience did I cause this person during

the past year?

20 21

Elul 5Overlook the slights of others,and your own failings will beforgiven.

– Rosh haShanah, 17

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:To overlook the slights ofothers, we seek to see thewound they carry that causesthem to act as they do.Discovering that woundarouses compassion in us andreveals our own wounds aswell. Recognizing our ownwounds, we can control theactions that flow from them.Controlling the actions thatflow from them allows us tobe forgiven.

TUESDAYSeptember 5, 2000

THE WORK, WEEK ONE

Continue answering the following questions regarding people who loveand support you:



the past year?

22 23

Elul 6During a drought, Rabbi Eliezerprayed long for rain, butnothing happened. Rabbi Akivaoffered a short prayer, and therains fell. A Voice from Heavencalled out, “Not that Akiva isgreater than Eliezer, but Eliezerremembers those who slighthim, while Akiva forgets.”

– Taanit, 25

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Memories of old hurts block usfrom fresh encounters. Eliezer’sprayer was long for he had topush through all his pain.Akiva’s was short for he hadonly to open to God.

WEDNESDAYSeptember 6, 2000

THE WORK, WEEK ONE

Write and mail a New Year’s card to each of the people you have beenwriting about over the past two days. Thank the person for all thekindnesses she did for you this past year. Include a request for forgive-ness for any pain you may have caused her during the past year.

If the person to whom you would write is deceased, write the letter any-way and either place it at the graveside or seal it in an envelope and keepit somewhere safe.

24 25

Elul 7A man traveling on a hot day grewweary and sat down to rest on arock. A snake slipped toward him,but a gust of wind came, snapped abranch from a tree and killed thesnake. When the man awoke andstepped away from the rock, itshifted and slipped off the cliff.

Rabbi Abba saw what had happenedand asked, “What is your meritthat you have been saved fromdeath twice?”

The man answered, “I never fail tomake peace with those who harmme. I become their friend and repaygood for evil. And before I go tosleep, I forgive all who requireforgiveness.”

Rabbi Abba said, “You are greaterthan Joseph. He forgave his brothers,but you forgive strangers as well.”

– Zohar i, 200-201

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:We may not be able to make peacewith all who harm us nor may wealways find the courage to returngood for evil. But if we could justforgive before we sleep, we, too,would live blessed lives.

THURSDAYSeptember 7, 2000

THE WORK, WEEK ONE

Finish writing and mailing the New Year’s cards.

26 27

Elul 8On Shabbat, we each receivean added soul, that we mighthave the strength to upliftour thoughts and purify ourdesires.

– Betza, 16a

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:The added soul is really thelevel of consciousnessassociated with the world ofAtzilut, the world of unityand interdependence. Weuplift our thoughts and purifyour desires when we nolonger see ourselves asseparate from everything else.


FOR SHABBAT









28 29

Elul 9Those who delight in theSabbath receive theirhearts’ desires.

– Shabbat, 118

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:One who delights inShabbat has only onedesire: the desire todelight in Shabbat.

SATURDAYSeptember 9, 2000

ON SHABBAT





d. What do you notice about the nature ofmind?

e. Where do your thoughts and feelings comefrom? Where do they go?


30 31

Elul 10The more powerful the person,the more powerful the urgetoward sin.

– Talmud

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:To become a powerful personrequires powerful drives anddesires. It is impossible to restrictdesire to the good only. When wecultivate desire, we cultivatedesires of all kinds. Thus, the morepowerful the person, the morepowerful the desire for both goodand evil.


THE WORK, WEEK TWO

Focusing on people with whom you have a strained or troubled relation-ship, answer the following three questions for each person (be specificin your answers). Do this for the first half of your list.



the past year?

32 33

Elul 11If your sins are such that they diewhen you die, your death atonesfor your sin. If your sins are suchthat they live on after you die,your death earns you nothing.

– Shabbat 9, 3

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT: There are two types of sin. Thefirst harms only ourselves. Thesecond harms others and causesthem to sin. When we die, we arenot called to account for thosesins from which we alone suffered,for they have died with us. But weare called to account for those sinswe created that caused others tosuffer, for their sin and sufferingoutlive us.


THE WORK, WEEK TWO

Focusing on people with whom you have a strained or troubled relation-ship, answer the following three questions for each person (be specificin your answers). Do this for the rest of your list.



the past year?

34 35

Elul 12The slanderer must seekforgiveness from the slandered.

– Berachot, 31

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Slander is a sin that outlivesthe sinner. Even if forgiveness isgranted, there is still a lingeringpain for which no atonementis possible.


THE WORK, WEEK TWO

Write and mail a letter to each person you have been thinking about forthe last few days, thanking her for all the kindnesses she did for you thispast year. Include in the letter a request for forgiveness for any pain youmay have caused her during the past year.

If the person to whom you would write is deceased, write the letter any-way and either place it at the graveside or seal it in an envelope and keepit somewhere safe.

36 37

Elul 13God knew that humanitywould sin. That is why Godcreated teshuvah (repentance,returning to God) before Godcreated people.

– Otzer Midrashim

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:The power to return to God isolder than the inclination toturn away from God. Thismeans that it is easier to returnthat to leave.


THE WORK, WEEK TWO

Finish writing and mailing these New Year’s cards.

38 39

Elul 14Once Rabbi Johanan benZakkai and Rabbi Joshua werewalking in Jerusalem and cameupon the ruins of the Temple.Rabbi Joshua moaned, “Woeunto us, for the place of ourforgiveness is gone.” RabbiJohanan replied, “There is noneed for sadness. One avenueof forgiveness was replaced byanother. Doing kindness toothers is now our way toforgiveness.”

– Avot de Rabbi Nathan, 4

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:When we sacrificed in the holyTemple, we gave of what wehad. When we sacrificethrough kindness, we give fromwhat we are. Forgivenessrooted in the latter is greaterthan forgiveness rooted in theformer.


THE WORK, WEEK TWO

1. Pay attention throughout the day, looking for and using opportuni-ties to do acts of kindness. Make a written note as to how you feelwhen doing acts of kindness. Be careful to note all your feelings,both those that reflect the altruism of your soul and those that reflectthe triumphalism of your ego.

2. Write down your answers to the following:• When doing something for others, to what extent did you feel

superior to them? To what extent did you feel you were a betterperson than most for having done this act of kindness?

• What do feelings of ego superiority do to the quality of yourkindness?

• How might you do kindness for kindness’s sake and not have itconnected to any ulterior motive?

• Is altruism even possible for people, or are we always involvedwith some level of selfishness?

• Does this matter as long as the kindness is done?

40 41

Elul 15Shabbat was made for you,not you for Shabbat.

– Mechilta on Exodus 31,13

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:The Sabbath is made for youthat you might know true rest.If you imagine that you weremade for the Sabbath, you willturn it into a chore.

FREDAYSeptember 15, 2000

FOR SHABBAT









42 43

Elul 16What was created on theSabbath? Contentment, peaceof mind, and physical rest.

– Bereshit Rabbah 10,12

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:How do we achieve theseShabbos gifts? By reversingtheir order. Rest the body, andyou quiet the mind. Quiet themind, and you will be content.


ON SHABBAT








44 45

Elul 17When the Temple in Jerusalemfell, so, too, did the bridgebetween the Jews and theirGod.

– Berachot, 32b

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:The bridge may have col-lapsed, but the river can still becrossed in rafts. Acts ofkindness are the rafts that willtake you from self to Self, fromself to God.


THE WORK, WEEK THREE

Take time today to do the following:

a. Sit comfortably. Close your eyes. Focus your attention on your breath-ing. Breathe naturally. With each exhalation of your breath silentlyrepeat one of these phrases:

May I be happy.May I be peaceful.May I be free.

b. Continue this three-breath/three-phrase cycle for 10 minutes.

c. Write down your answers to the following questions:What do I mean by “happy”?What would I do if I were happy?What stops me from being happy now?What do I need to do to be happy?

46 47

Elul 18At the conclusion of the YomKippur Musaf service, RabbiAha would say, “All of you withlittle children, go home andfeed them, even if they havenot asked for food.”

– Yoma, 66

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:The little children are thenewborn hopes for peace andtranquility that arise duringYom Kippur. Go home andnurse them, lest they starvethemselves in some misguidednotion of sacrifice.



Take time this evening to do the following:

a. Sit comfortably.Close your eyes.Focus your attention on your breathing.Breathe naturally.

b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:May I be happy.May I be peaceful.May I be free.

c. Continue this three-breath/three-phrase cycle for 10 minutes.

d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• What do I mean by “peaceful”?• What would I do if I were peaceful?• What stops me from being peaceful now?• What do I need to do to be peaceful?

48 49

Elul 19On Yom Kippur, in the Holy ofHolies, the following prayerwas recited: “May it be ThyWill, O Lord, that the comingyear have sufficient dew, rain,and shade.”

– Vayyikra Rabbah, 17

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Dew refers to the sweet touchof love. Rain refers to thekindnesses we receive fromothers that allow our hopes tobloom. Shade refers to thesecurity of loving arms thathold us in times of searing fearand pain.





b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:May I be happy.May I be peaceful.May I be free.


d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• What do I mean by “free”?• What would I do if I were free?• What stops me from being free now?• What do I need to do to be free?

50 51

Elul 20On Yom Kippur, in the Holy ofHolies, the following prayerwas recited: “May no one findit necessary to accept favorsfrom another. May no oneshow mastery over another.”


REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:May each of us be satisfiedwith what we have, that weneed not put ourselves in debtto others to get what we want.May each of us gain masteryof ourselves, that we need notseek mastery over others.





b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:May my friends be happy.May my friends be peaceful.May my friends be free.


d. Write down your answer s to the following questions:• How did I contribute to the happiness of my friends during the

past year?• What can I do this year to help increase the happiness of my friends?

52 53

Elul 21On Yom Kippur, in the Holy ofHolies, the following prayerwas recited: “May You notincline Your ear to travelerswho pray for dry weather.”


REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Each of us calls to God andasks for what is desired,without thought of how thatdesire may impact others. Dryweather for a traveler mayspell doom for a farmer inneed of rain. On Yom Kippur,let us pray this: “Dear God, donot listen too closely to what Ipray and do not grant myrequest until I have had timeto see how my gain may beanother’s loss. And then grantme the courage to withdrawmy request.”





b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:May my friends be happy.May my friends be peaceful.Maymy friends be free.


d. Write down your answer s to the following questions:• How did I contribute to the peace of my friends during the past

year?• What can I do this year to help increase the peace of my friends?

54 55

Elul 22Rabbi Tanhuma asked, “Fromwhat did God rest on theSabbath?” He answered hisown question, saying, “Godrested from speaking.”

– Pesikta Rabbati, 23,3

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:To truly rest on Shabbat, wemust silence the talk of themind: “This I want, this I don’twant; this I like, this I don’tlike.”


FOR SHABBAT









56 57

Elul 23Shabbat is the foretaste ofHeaven.

– Mekilta to Exodus 31, 13

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Heaven is the experience ofpure spirit—when body, mind,and soul are at rest and allowthe pure spirit of God to shinethrough us. Live each Shabbatas if you were in Heaven, andyou will discover that Heavenis in you.


ON SHABBAT







f. Are you your thoughts? Are you your feel-ings? Who are you?

58 59

Elul 24On Yom Kippur, in the Holy ofHolies, the following prayer wasrecited: “May You have compas-sion on those who dwell in thelowlands, that neither sanddunes nor floods turn theirhomes into their graves.”


REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Those who dwell in thelowlands are those living in thegrip of depression and despair.We pray that they not becomeso arid that their hopes turn todust. We pray that they notsurrender to the false kindnessof those who flood them withwords of hope while schemingto benefit from their pain.


THE WORK, WEEK FOUR



b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:May my family be happy.May my family be peaceful.May my family be free.


d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• How did I contribute to the happiness of my family during the

past year?• What can I do this year to help increase the happiness of my fam-

ily?

60 61

Elul 25Once a great boulder fell ontothe highway and no one couldremove it. The king com-manded that each passerbychip off a piece of the rock. Intime, the whole thing was gone.

– Pesikta Shuvah, 165a

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Do not imagine that all ob-stacles can be removed by asimple act of will. Somechallenges must be tackled a bitat a time. In the end, withpatience and perseverance, eventhe largest stone can bereduced to dust.


THE WORK, WEEK FOUR





d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• How did I contribute to the peace of my family during the past

year?• What can I do this year to help increase the peace of my family?

62 63

THE WORK, WEEK FOUR





d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• How did I contribute to the freedom of my family during the

past year?• What can I do this year to help increase the freedom of my family?

Elul 26TUESDAYSeptember 26, 2000

One who sins through sightwill go blind.

– Otzer Midrashim, p, 497

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Those who sin by sight arethose who see an injustice anddo nothing to set it right. Inthe end, they are blind toboth evil and good and canfind no meaning to their lives.

64 65

THE WORK, WEEK FOURTake time this evening to do the following:


b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:May my enemies be happy.May my enemies be peaceful.May my enemies be free.


d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• How did I contribute to the happiness of my enemies during

the past year?• What can I do this year to help increase the happiness of my

enemies?

Elul 27WEDNESDAYSeptember 27, 2000

One who sins through hearingwill suffer through hearing.


REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Those who sin through hearingare those who hear the cry ofanother and do nothing tocome to the other’s aid. In theend, they are deaf to every-thing but the gossip theirneighbors spread about them.

66 67

THE WORK, WEEK FOUR

Take time this evening to spend 30 minutes or so on the following:


b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:May my enemies be happy.May my enemies be peaceful.May my enemies be free.


d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• How did I contribute to the peace of my enemies during the past

year?• What can I do this year to help increase the peace of my en-

emies?• How did I contribute to the freedom of my enemies during the

past year?• What can I do this year to help increase the freedom of my en-

emies?

Elul 28THURSDAYSeptember 28, 2000

One who sins through theheart will go mad with worry.


REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Those who sin through theheart are those who give in toevery desire, hoping to findhappiness in owning things. Inthe end, their hearts are filledwith the fear of losing all theyown, and there is no room forhappiness in them at all.

68 69

Elul 29

The first human was createdon Rosh haShanah.

– Zohar iii, 100b

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT: Just as the first human wascreated on Rosh haShanah,each of us has the opportunityto be recreated on RoshhaShanah.


EREV ROSH HASHANAH 5761

FOR SHABBAT









70 71

FOR YOM TOV

Throughout this First Day of Rosh haShanah,contemplate the following:

Malchuyot/The Presence of GodGod is the Source and Substance of all reality.We are manifestations of God whose purpose

is to manifest godliness.• What does it mean to be godly?• Where am I achieving this in my life?• Where am I failing?• What can I do this year to deepen the qual-

ity of godliness in my life?

Zichronot/RemembranceThe greatest sin is to forget that we and every-thing else are manifestations of God.• What would your life be like if you knew

you were a manifestation of God?• What would your life be like if you could

remember that everyone and everything wasa manifestation of God?

• How is it that you cannot remember this?• What might you do differently this year to

remember?

Shofarot/AwakeningWe blow the shofar to return our attention to thepresent moment. We are rarely present to the mo-ment at hand, but prefer to drift into the past orthe future. Yet God is met only in the moment;the Eternal is felt only in the Now.• How is it that you keep falling asleep to the

moment?• What might you do to practice teshuvah, re-

turning your attention to the present, onemoment at a time?

Tishrei 1

It is fitting for a great God toforgive great sinners.

– Vayyikra Rabbah 5

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Better to live boldly and seekforgiveness than to live scaredand seek only to placate others.


ROSH HASHANAH, DAY ONE

72 73

Tishrei 2

Rabbi Berechiah said, “On RoshhaShanah it is God’s wish thatthe hearts of all humanity areturned toward God in unison.”

– Y. Rosh haShanah 1,3

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Do not imagine that RoshhaShanah is for the Jews. It is forall humankind. It simply comesto them through the Jews.

SUNDAYOctober 1, 2000

ROSH HASHANAH, DAY TWO

FOR YOM TOV

Throughout the second day of RoshhaShanah, contemplate the following:

I am not my body.I am not my thoughts.I am not my feelings.I am not my story.I am not my fears.I am not my dreams.I am not my fantasies.I am nothing that rises or falls.I am nothing that births and dies.I am nothing of time or eternity.I am nothing.I am all.I am.I AM.Who am I?

74 75

Tishrei 3One who sins with the mouthwill go unheard.


REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Those who sin with themouth are those who spreaddoubt and gossip among thepeople. In the end, they areignored, and even theirlegitimate calls for justice andheartfelt cries for help gounheard.

MONDAYOctober 2, 2000

THE WORK, WEEK FIVE



b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:Hear O Israel.The Ineffable One is God.The Ineffable One is unity itself.


d. Jot down your answers to the following questions:• What does it mean to hear the oneness of God?• What does it mean that God is the Ineffable?• What does it mean that God is one?• What does it mean that God is unity itself?

76 77

THE WORK, WEEK FIVE



b. With each exhalation, silently repeat one of these phrases:Love the Ineffable GodWith all your heart,With every breath,With all that you have and are.

c. Continue this four-breath/four-phrase cycle for 10 minutes.

d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• What does it mean to love God?• What does it mean to love God with all my heart?• What does it mean to love God with every breath?• What does it mean to love God with all that I have and am?

Tishrei 4One who laughs at spiritualdiscipline will receive nocompassion. One who scoffs atwisdom will find no cure.


REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Those who laugh at spiritualdiscipline are those who do nokindness. In the end, nokindness is done unto them.Those who scoff at wisdom willfind no cure for doubt, andthey will live in ever-growingterror of death.

TUESDAYOctober 3, 2000

78 79

THE WORK, WEEK FIVE

Sometime this evening, spend 30 minutes or so on the following:


b. With each exhalation, silently repeat this phrase: You shall loveyour neighbor as yourself.

c. Continue this repetition for 10 minutes.

d. Write down your answers to the following questions:• What does it mean to love my neighbor?• Who is my neighbor?• In what way do I love myself?• In what way do I not love myself?• How does my loving or not loving myself impact the manner in

which I treat my neighbor?

Tishrei 5Observe all things and abstainfrom sin.


REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Those who learn to observethe workings of the mind willnot be driven by desire. Theywill watch as thoughts andfeelings come and go, and theywill discover that only love ofothers is a lasting good.

WEDNESDAYOctober 4, 2000

80 81

THE WORK, WEEK FIVE

1. Imagine that your life this past year was written up as a mythor folk tale to be repeated to children, that they might learnsome important lesson about life and how to live it.• Briefly outline the storyline this tale would follow.• What message does the story impart?• What can be learned from the year of your life just end-

ing?

2. Imagine that the grand themes of your life this coming yearare already written up as a myth or folk tale.• Briefly outline the storyline this tale would follow.• What message does the story impart?• What can be learned from the year of your life just begin-

ning?

Tishrei 6It is in everyone’s hand toresist temptation. But ifyou sin, repent and returnand know that forgivenessis yours.– Otzer Midrashim, p. 497

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:Resisting temptation onlyfuels temptation; the morewe say no to desire, thestronger that desirebecomes. The wise neitherresist nor surrender; theyonly observe. And if theysin, they admit their errorand make amends. In thisway they return to Godand godliness. Forgivenessis granted not because oftheir sin, but as a conse-quence of their return.

THURSDAYOctober 5, 2000

82 83

Tishrei 7The light of our life during theweek is different than the lightof our life on Shabbat.

– Bereshit Rabbah 11,2

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT: During the week, we shineour light to find our own way.On Shabbos, our light is usedto push back the darkness forothers.

FRIDAYOctober 6, 2000

FOR SHABBAT









84 85

Tishrei 8A woman awoke on the Sabbathto find a pot of gold next to herbed. She reached for the pot, butit backed away. She tried againand it moved back even farther.She decided to leave the pot andgo to the synagogue. When shegot there, she turned around tofind that the pot of gold hadfollowed her.

– Jewish Folk Tale

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:We are all like this woman. Weimagine we must possess thatwhich is precious, when in factwhen we let it be, we discover itis as close to us as our ownshadow.

SATURDAYOctober 7, 2000

ON SHABBAT







f. Are you your thoughts? Are you your feel-ings? Who are you?

86 87

FOR YOM TOV

After lighting the candles of Yom Tov, say:

I am empty of permanence.I cannot endure.My days are limited and too fewto fulfill the desires of my heart.I am so small and temporary.And yet so important.

This pile of dust speaks!This bag of skin thinks!This frail body acts andmakes a difference in the world!

What a gift I have been given andwhat a responsibility.I am nothing andyet for my sake did the world come to be.I am nothing andyet because of me, others rise or fall.I am the only me that has ever been.

Whatever I must do,I must do here and now.Whatever gift I am to give,I must give it here and now.Whatever purpose I am to fulfill,I must fulfill it here and now.

Tishrei 9

On Yom Kippur, the thingsbetween you and God areforgiven; the things betweenyou and your neighbor areonly forgiven when yourneighbor forgives you.

– Sifra to Ahare

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT:It is easier to gain forgivenessfrom God than from aneighbor. Why? God’s onlydesire is for your happiness,while your neighbor wants youto feel remorse.

SUNDAYOctober 8, 2000

EREV YOM KIPPUR/KOL NIDRE

88 89

FOR YOM TOV

Today, reflect on the following:

When I replay the year now closing,my heart shivers.

I have caused much pain.Through thoughtlessness and inconsideration,through wanton disregardfor the feelings of others,I have left many I love feeling unloved.

I vow this day to speak more softly,to do more carefully,to be more fullywhat I know I am capable of being:a friend,a lover,a care giver anda guide.

I vow this dayto challenge my own excuses,to give more of myself andless to my selfishness.

Tishrei 10

Rabbi Jose said, “One whorepents is regarded by God asone who had sacrificed at theTemple.” Rabbi Alexandri added,“We do not like to use brokenvessels, but God loves them.”

– Pesikta Shuva

REB YERACHMIEL TAUGHT: A broken bowl, even whenmended, may still leak. A brokenheart when healed is strongerthan ever. Open your heart tothe world and let it break. Openit still further and you open toGod and let it heal.

MONDAYOctober 9, 2000

YOM KIPPUR

90 91

PSALMS

It is traditional to read from the Book of Psalms each day of the ElulIntensive. While you are free to choose whichever psalms you want, wehave provided interpretive versions of several psalms, assigning one toeach day of the week.

If you wish to explore the Book of Psalms for yourself, we recommendtwo translations—The Artscroll Tehillim [Psalms], which is closest tothe original Hebrew, and The Psalms by Steven Mitchell, a beautiful pre-sentation of some of the most powerful psalms.

92 93

Mondays / PSALM 99

The earth trembles with intimations of God.The nations quakebefore the One without a flag.Our boundaries shatteras the Whole hugs its parts.We scar the earth with barbed linesand define ourselves within them.We label the stranger and mark a friend;God is greater than this.God is above our masks and our magic.God speaks and there are no words.God teaches and there are no books.God guides and there are no gurus.God plants justice and we sow discord.God seeds compassion and we reap anger.God extends charity and we shrug indifference.No wonder there is trembling.We are frightened,not of God but of ourselves.We are frightened not of the Onebut of the many we call them.

May I make this moment a momentof emptying myself of my self;of exalting the OneWho is at the heart of the many;of humbling myselfbefore the One who is all.And in this waywill I move beyond fragmentationto the greater unitythat is God’s giftand my essence.

Sundays / PSALM 95

Life is all from You and in You:the valleys, the mountains,the shore and the sea.And so am I—this fragile reedwith beating heart and jumping mind;this thinking bellowsbreathed and breathing,all You.From You comes eachand to You each returns.And in between is You as well.You in anger andYou in song,You in play andYou in pain,You in danger andYou in salvation,it is all You andYou are all it is.I sing the wonders of all You areand the simple truth of You is known.

94 95

Tuesdays / PSALM 93

The earth is secure;it is I who imagines her frailty.The earth stands firm;it is I who plots her downfall.She is greater than me,and includes me in a larger scheme.I am her childthough not her only child.I am her hopethough not her only hope.I am one she grewto see her own face,to know her own mind,to foster surprise.I am one who can know I am One.

Wednesdays / PSALM 16

Dear God,lift from me this mask of separation;awaken me to Life’s grand pattern;protect me as I seek Your refuge—I so fear the letting go that is our embracing.No words can depict You,all words drive me from You.No thoughts, no theories—idols all!Only when my mind is clearcan my heart be filled withthe Wonder of You.I would know You if I could stand firm;but I wobble and doubt and cannot believethat I can be that which I already am.At night I am instructed:in drifting thought and twisted dreamthe Way is shown.You are beside me always,I shall not stumble,for even a fall is a journey andno journey is in vain ifI would but take it up wholeheartedly.Help my heart be joyous andmy soul exult.I dwell secure in You.

96 97

Thursdays / PSALM 32

Happy are they whose sins are forgiven,who break the bonds of habitual evil.Happy are they who harness eviland turn it toward good,who deceive neither self nor other,but welcome both withmercy and compassion.

I know I have sinned,but I fear to speak—will not my admission mock me,will I not become my own Adversary?Yet my silence is a burden,my guilt chokes me,my very being weighs heavyand I no longer smile.

I groan with the weight of it,but I fear to speak—not even to You,especially to You.

Day and night I struggle to bewho I imagine I am supposed to bewithout really knowing who in fact I am.I fear that I know,or I know that I fearthat I am wicked and selfish and farfrom the One that pretends to be other.

The effort drains me,I am forever tired and despairing.The lie shrivels me,I am a leaf without branch,dry and shivering in the wind.

O let me admit my failings, andaccept my guilt.

Fridays / PSALM 77

Dear God,Your Way is just,balanced and blending;suffering is Your Way, and also love.It cannot be other than It Isother than You Areother than I Am.

Suffering and Joy—twins!Terror and Tears—twins!Pain and Mercy—twins!You and I—

Your Way is Wonder beyond words!Your Presence fills alland is known by none.

The oceans behold You and tremble.The clouds see You and spill forth their rain.Your thunder deafens.Your lightening blinds.Nothing can point and say:There is God!For where are You not?

Your Way is no way.Your Path is no path.

Your Way, all ways.Your Path, all paths.

Your Place,all placemy place,this place.

Let me silence the Lieand confess the Truth:I am neither bad nor good,neither satan nor saint—but a blend of both:a person conflicted and confused.

Let me confess and accept,and I will findthe strength to repairwhat I have damaged;the skill to mendwhat I have torn;the compassion to healwhat has been hurt.

Let all who seek the Way learn this:that when misfortunes befall you,

accept them;if they come as a mighty wave,

bend to them;if you let them come,

they will let you go;if you seek to stay them,

they will stay,and you will drown in a pool of

despair.

You are my shelter, my True Self.You preserve me from distressand surround me with joy—but only if I admit and accept who

I amand what I do.

98 99

Shabbat / PSALM 150

Praise Life!Praise Wonder!look and seelisten and hear,taste and touch and smellthe awesome simplicity of This.

Praise Life!in sacred places.Praise Life!through just actsand compassionate deeds.Praise Life!with upbeat horn,lilting harp,entrancing lyre.

Praise Life!with drum and dance,violin and flute,clashing cymbals.

Let all that breathebreathe praises!Breathe in psalms,breathe out hymns.Breathe and singand let joy resoundwithin youand without you.

I sing to Lifewith my life;I sing a new songeach day, every moment.

Even now the depth of sin escapes me.There is more darkness thanthe feeble candle of forgiveness canerase.Yet by its light I see my placewhere I stand andwhere I might next step.It is enough.

To step one stepto turn one turnthis timeNow.

Yes there is pain.Yes there is hurt.And there is redemption.With the pain.With the hurt.There is redemption.

Who can straighten what has beencrooked?I cannot, though I so wish it otherwise.But otherwise has trapped me too long.

Now is the time of arising.Now is the time of awakening.Now is the time of doing:not straighteningbut no more twisting;not forgettingbut at last forgiving.

And to that I say: Amen.

100 101

How might I have made the world a little less kind or just today?

Based on the mistakes I made today, if my day were to be reduced toa headline in tomorrow morning’s newspaper, how might it read?

To whom do I need to say “thank you” tomorrow?

To whom do I need to apologize to tomorrow?

If there were one thing I could do differently tomorrow to make it abetter day than today, what would that be?

What good did I do today?

How have I made the world a little kinder or more just today?

Based on the good I did today, if my day were to be reduced to aheadline in tomorrow morning’s newspaper, how might it read?

What mistakes did I make today?

CHESHBON HANEFESH

A DAILY MORAL INVENTORY

Before going to sleep each night, it is traditional to review the moral quality ofyour day. Your goal is to identify and decide how to correct any mistakes youmay have made or hurt you may have caused, as well as to recognize and cel-ebrate the good you have done. Copy this form and use it each night of the ElulIntensive.

102 103

ABOUT RABBI RAMI SHAPIRO

Rami Shapiro is widely regardedas one of the most creative voices incontemporary American Judaism. Heis an award-winning poet and essayistwhose liturgies are used in prayer ser-vices throughout North America. Hehas written more than a dozen worksof poetry, liturgy, short story, and non-fiction. His most recent books are Wis-dom of the Jewish Sages, Minyan: 10Principles for Living Life with Integ-rity (both from Bell Tower/Random

House), and The Way of Solomon (Harper San Francisco).

A graduate of the Hebrew Union College–Jewish Institute ofReligion and Union Graduate School, Rabbi Rami directs the Sim-ply Jewish Foundation (www.simplyjewish.com), the What Woulda Mentsch Do® Project (www.wwmd.org), and the Sh’ma Centerfor Contemplative Judaism. He is a much sought after speaker,workshop facilitator, and retreat leader who can meaningfully ad-dress audiences as diverse as early childhood educators, rabbisand cantors, community leaders, and executive-level managers ofmajor U.S. corporations.

Rabbi Rami’s overriding passion is for Judaism as a means tod’vekut, awakening to the supreme identity of woman, man, na-ture, and God. As a congregational rabbi for more than 20 yearsand a leadership coach and management consultant for more than15, he has brought his entrepreneurial spirit to bear on Jewish life,thought, and spiritual practice to help Jewish leaders and their in-stitutions create a Jewish spiritual renaissance in the 21st century.

Rabbi Rami can be reachedby phone at the Simply Jewish Foundation—305/382-6680or by e-mail at [email protected]/.

104

ABOUT THE SH’MA CENTER

Jews and Judaism have entered a period of rapid and inevi-table change. We are moving from an era devoted to the physicalsurvival of the Jew to one dedicated to the spiritual survival ofJudaism. This era calls for deepening the spiritual dimension ofJewish life through contemplative practice and personal transfor-mation and a systematic adaptation of ancient texts, teachings, andpractices to meet the needs of modern life.

In response to this call, Rabbi Rami M. Shapiro founded theSh’ma Center for Contemplative Judaism in the autumn of 1999.Its mission is to

• teach meditation as a means to deepening our connection withGod;

• promote Jewish spiritual practice;• provide spiritual mentoring for religious seekers;• offer quality adult education in religion, spirituality, and heal-

ing; and• train rabbis and Jewish educators in the tools and techniques

of contemplative Judaism.

With the help of a generous grant from the Nathan CummingsFoundation, the Sh’ma Center offers meditation experiences,classes, Shabbaton programs, and periodic retreats. In addition,Rabbi Rami maintains an active travel schedule to present hiscourses and ideas to audiences around the country.

Why do we do it?We believe that Judaism offers a powerful and practical spiri-

tuality uniquely suited to life in 21st-century America. We believethat people from all faiths and backgrounds can benefit from anddeepen their spiritual connection to God through the practices ofJudaism. We believe that we can help revive American Jewishspirituality through our programs and meditation sessions, onebreath at a time.

ontemplative the elul journal - oneriverfoundation.org

Documents