w i n t e r 2 0 1 2

HOW THE FIRST DECADE OF THE XXI SHALL BE REMEMBERED

Remember your older folks

talking about how the grass was greener and afros funkier “back

in the day?“ Well, I’ve got to break it to you, one day those words will be

coming out from your lips. As generation grows old, the things they’ve

witnessed in their youth years get coated with golden powder. Man, I’ve

heard a “Back Street Boys“ song a couple of days ago and you know

what... I couldn’t resist some weird good feelings about it, though the

OozeHow The First Decade Of The XXI Shall Be Remembered

2 OOZE WINTER 3

year it was recorded I wouldn’t even

have thought that I won’t be willing to

turn that off as soon as possible in about

10 years. Tamagotchis, bubble gums

with stickers, Mortal Combat, Chuck

Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger

movies, whether you liked it or not

(how could you not though?) do mean

and remind of something to the 90’s

kids in the XXI century, maybe even

more then went it was brand-new.

This magazine isn’t from 90’s though,

but the previous statement was just

to prove the point and make the pur-

pose of this magazine clear. The 2000’s

AKA the Noughties AKA the Ooze, call

it any way you like, brought us loads

of the compilation of great, bad, awe-

some, ugly stuff, from Bieber to Obama,

all of that can be found in a certain

place, which is this very magazine.

I’ve picked just some of many things

that will most likely remind you of the

good old 2000’s. Were you naughty in

the noughties? I’m not Santa, I don’t

care, either way, enjoy the mag!

Triangles, space, deers, owls, cats and all of that combined went viral in the late noughties

Anton Drachuk, thy creator of the Ooze magazine

The whole magazine is designed by a per-son with no experience in magazine design, which means there may be mistakes in the articles; some of the articles include sen-tences taken from other authors’ articles, although they’re changed and adopted to the topic. All images in this magazine were found using Google Image Search, they are free to non-commercial use. I also might have not mentioned some things the reader would consider worth mentioning, the reason for that is limited page num-ber of the magazine and my imagination, experiences, sources and etc. The opin-ions expressed by the Ooze magazine are it’s author’s alone, and do not reflect the opinions of any mentioned people or com-panies. Author is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the Ooze magazine. If you don’t agree with information provided in the magazine, whatsoever, maybe you live in a country with free rights and opinions, if not, well, what a pity. If any of the information above isn’t clear, read it again please. Projekt publikacji wykonany w ramach ćwiczeń w Pracowni Wydawnictw

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2. Energy drinks boosted market and people of the 2000’s chal-

lenging coffee as the best work and study and so on assistant.

Some stats for you: Approximately 65% percent of its drinkers

are between the ages of 13 and 35 years old, with males being

approximately 65% of the market.

3. Furby was a popular electronic robotic toy resembling a

hamster/owl-like creature that was pretty much the first

“must-have” robotic toy.

4. Low waist jeans made people not only learn to walk in a spe-

cific way, but also change underwear more often (as in that

kind of jeans your panties are always on display)

5. Ugg boots. Ask your nana or mama what was the deal about

those in the 2000’s because I have no clue

6. Environment. Everyone suddenly went concerned about it,

started recycling, promoting eco-friendly everything, which

isn’t a bad thing of course, but what began with the purest

intentions, eventually had grown to quite a franchise;

7. Following the eco-boom came the organic tendencies. Because

of GMO the concern around how healthy is the food we eat has

grown, so foods proved to be organic went called-for. Which

also transformed to a big profit-making action.

8. Instant foods. If one tells you he’s cooking something in the

2000’s - he probably means preparing some of the variety of

instant foods.

9. Doomsday. December 21st 2012 is a date known to everyone in

the noughties, you might forget when your cousin’s birthday

is, but you don’t forget when the end of times comes. Disaster

movies, a lot of tribute in all sorts of media and art - standard

package coming with the excitement around the Armageddon.

10. “Smart” cars. Convenient, simple, stylish - very 2000’s.

11. “Crocs“. Ugly as hell in my opinion. Can’t make a constructive

review on that, pardon.

12. Terrorism. One of the sad things about those years. And the

war against it also is.

T o n s o f “epic“ junk

or what’s hot was worn,

talked about, just used in

any way by pretty much

everyone. Well, most of

people. Globalization, you

know. Though what was a

“hot“ in the US, by the time

it got to the third world, was

already a “not“ back in the

States. Anyway, here’s cou-

ple of things I picked, which

made quite a buzz in the OO

decade.

1. Ray-Ban Wayfarers,

r e i n c a r n a t e d f r o m

the 80’s grew super

hip, everyone from a

celebrity to an average

teenager, the sunglasses

are actually pretty cool,

though really overused,

but the ones with clear

lens, come on people,

aren’t glasses for cor-

recting your sight? Just

saying.

StuffAll types of trendy things and flows are spread out in no time and get armies of addicts

Digital Cyborgs became real deal, not a movie fantasy, even though most of cyborgs still think they’re real people

6 OOZE WINTER * (latin) To go, advance, proceed, travel, move along, progress 7

Cell phones went from being a fairly

expensive tool used by affluent people to becoming universal and

a teenage fashion statement. The cell phone I had in 2000 did only

two things: take and receive phone calls. Umm I’m sorry, in fact I

would only dream of it, my dad one was the one with a Motorola (in

comparison, the 2009 7-year-olds had a cell phone, iPod, laptop, iPad

and were b-word-ing about not having a 3D flat-screen). Anyhoo, the

cell I had in 2009 could calls, take pictures, record and play videos,

surf the Web, play mp3s, play games and lots of other cool stuff a

1999 computer could even possibly do. How awesome is that?

MacBook Pro

Photography was a privi-lege before the XXI century, to make photos

you had to have a camera, films, know which type of film to

pick for the specific type of photo you want to take, how to

adjust a camera for that, and excluding bigger cities, you

had to know how to print a film and photos from it. Not in

the Ooze, no! Most 21st century cameras are digital, all you need to have is a camera, all you need to know how

to do is how to push the button, you don’t even need to focus on the object you want a photo of, there’s autofocus

for you. Of course all of this doesn’t mean everyone can take good photos due to the possession of a digicam, but

now photography is for anybody and it’s easy and fun and etc., that’s a fact. Not to mention camera phones, in

the beginning it was like “Isn’t a phone meant for calling?“, but just a little time after that first question asked

while a cell phone purchase was “How many megapixels is the camera?“ Anyhow, by the year 2010 people own

1.5 billion camera phones worldwide and millions of digital cameras. It was during this decade, that we enabled

the ubiquitous and effectively free ability to capture the world around us, which was sure to have had profound

implications on our lives. That could be revolution, or evolution, or maybe degeneration - not for me to judge,

but it has sure changed a lot.

“Digitalized” might be just the

right word to define

us people from the 2000’s.

Back in 1999, the image

of asking a girl from

another town out for a

deluxe dinner, a movie

and listening to a full

discography of Nirvana

required at least a phone,

enough money for a res-

taurant and time to get

out there, tickets to a cin-

ema or a VHS and finding

couple of cassettes with

Nirvana records. In 2009

you texted her, ordered

a meal online, search for

the right movie on your

hard drive and down-

load a full discography of

Nirvana to your iPod (and

that took you like 10 min-

utes instead of 30 hours).

Throughout the decade

we stopped being able our

life without computers,

cell phones, mp3-players,

digital cameras, PSPs

and bunch of other stuff.

The Ooze brought us

thy transformation from

gramophone record (I

hope you know what that

is) to CD to .mp3, VHS

tape to DVD to Blu-ray,

analog broadcasting to

digital broadcasting, pay-

phone to cell phone, books

to E-books, analogue

television to digital cable,

typewriter to printer, mail

to email, film photogra-

phy to digital photography

and so on and so on. You

want more? Ok.

Laptops aka notebooks was one of

the major technology breakthroughs of the 2000’s,

of course the were invented earlier, but in the Ooze

the were made as powerful and advanced as desktop

computers and affordable. A student of 2009 without a

laptop or at least a netbook - are you kidding me? All

amazing things you can do on a computer - you get to

do it in any given place at any given time. Throughout

the Noughties a laptop went from 10-inch 20GB hard

drive 1 hour battery computer (which were of simi-

lar capacity and longer battery life as smartphones

in 2010) to 17-inch 320GB hard drive 10 hour battery

machines. Progress was so fast and impressive, that

in 2007 your 2005 laptop looked like a calculator. Eo

Ire Itum!*

Music stuck to us in new

standards and qualities in the beginning of the

3rd millennium. Cassettes, CDs were great, but first

of all could store real large music collections, you

had to carry around a huge sack bigger then your-

self if you’d like to listen to full discography of Pink

Floyd and John Zorn on 1994 vacation. In 2000’s you

get mp3-players - which are capable of storing and

playing digital media such as audio, images, video,

documents, which are typically stored on a hard drive,

microdrive, or flash memory. That means you can

carry around a device which is capable of all sorts of

cool stuff with 160 GB memory (in 1999 the highest

computer hard drive capacity was about 10 GB, and

that seemed big as universe), and to make it sound

even better, those players are affordable to pretty

much everyone.

8 OOZE WINTER 9

O n t h e Internet

decade is a long

time. In 2000 era of the

dot-com boom began,

the Web was strictly 1.0,

and Google was just a

baby. Since then people

have welled onto the

Internet. You don’t actu-

ally realize how many

more people are on the

Internet by the end of

the Ooze until you start

comparing numbers.

There were only 361 milli

Internet users in 2000, in

the entire world. For per-

spective, that’s barely 2/3

of the size of Facebook

in 2010. From 361M to

almost 2B is screaming

for itself. If anyone ever

thought the Internet was

something of a fad, those

mouths have been per-

manently silenced during

the past decade, and

these numbers show why.

Internet equals change.

Writing has changed tremendously in

the 2000’s as it stopped being just for writers, journalists or critics, but

practically for anyone who is at least basically literate and has internet

access. Blogging, commenting, reviewing had suddenly become every-

one’s thing.

BTW I won’t even go deep ‘bout LOLs, LMFAOs (after which FYI was a

band named, xtrmely popular, a symbol of degradin’ music IMHO), if u

don’t get WTF is dat, thx4attntn xoxo, AFK. ;) (C p. 9 4mo). Now seriously,

Social networking, as var-ious as it is, youtube, wikipedia, google

- that and some other Internet monsters took our lives. Chill out,

it’s not as bad as in MJ’s thriller, though it is sort of creepy if

you think about how much time the Ooze folks spend clicking

“Like it“, twitting, watching youtube poops, questioning Yahoo,

enjoying trolling and wikiing every single thing we don’t know

ish about. Alright not all at once. So here it goes:

1. Google is first of all a huge search engine, if you want to find pretty much anything, you

“google“ it. Google also provides us with a lot of products such as maps, translation, image search, books, fonts,

blogger, gmail and a lot lot more various useful things. Google actually owns a huge piece of the Internet cake.

Throughout the decade Google has provided web surfers with diverse innovative opportunities, it’s really hard

to talk about it’s role in exploring the web landscapes, so I’ll put it this way - Google is huge. Summing it all up,

Google is an American multinational Internet and software corporation specialized in Internet search, cloud

computing, and advertising technologies. Last sentence was from Wikipedia and that leads us to the next point.

2. Wikipedia is a free, collaborative, multilingual Internet encyclopedia supported by the

non-profit Wikimedia Foundation. Its 20 million articles (over 3.8 million in English alone) have been written

collaboratively by volunteers around the world. That’s what Wikipedia says about Wikipedia. I’ve just pulled off

a classic Noughties thing - found accurate information on something in Wikipedia. Long story short, it’s basi-

cally a digital encyclopedia, but it’s really not just that, because on Wiki you can find information on things not

mentioned in any serious real-life encyclopedia, it comes in most of the world’s languages (even some dead

languages) and articles are not always entirely reliable.

3. Youtube gathered most of the Web’s videos plus anyone could become famous ....................p.10

In the ooze so much of the typical day is taken up with writing emails, tweets, updates, text messages, chats, blog posts and

the occasional longer form writing. On balance, all of that practice is making online writing better, which doesn’t mean all

online writing is good. Much of it’s terrible – the average YouTube comment for an example of how bad it can get. But it’s

been said that excellent writing is a matter of good thinking – if you’ve got the thinking part down, that’s most. And many of

the thoughtful people are producing some great stuff on the web. The Internet wasn’t just prompting us to write more, its

open structure pressured us to write in a way that’s at once more concise and flexible. One problem newspapers and maga-

zines never could fix is that articles are assigned arbitrary lengths (not this one, no). Pay writers per word and they’ll write

as many as they can. Assign a 12,000-word story and you’ll get just that, even if 1,000 are all that’s necessary (and again, that

particular magazine is so not the case). Having a clear voice has grown more important on the web, where writers worry

about brand-building, news sites grow interactive and blog posts resemble conversations. Some don’t regard texting and

chat as writing, while others argue that they’re killing longer and more formal prose. Both notions are wrong. The informal

writing we do on the web doesn’t supplant formal writing, it complements and influences it — and is influenced in return.

Besides, language is always evolving, and a more conversational English isn’t a bad thing. “Writing, when properly man-

aged…is but a different name for conversation.” Laurence Sterne wrote that in Tristram Shandy 250 years ago. Thanks to

the Internet, it’s more true now than ever.

Surf Most of the Ooze people know more about web surfing then any other kind of surfing, in fact they can surf boards online

10 OOZE WINTER 11

15Y AGO TODAYLISTENING TO MUSIC

WATCHING MOVIES

CHILLIN WITH FRIENDS

READING BOOKS

DOING THINGS...simply recording anything, uploading it

to Youtube.Facebook

is a major social network on the 2000’s,

you’ve just met a person and want to

get to know him - just take a look at his

Facebook profile. Since 2004, millions of

people have been giving up their per-

sonal data to the whole world and actually

enjoying it, not just that, but in fact living

more on Facebook then off Facebook.

You could meet people from all over the

globe, share with anyone who visits your

profile, gather all your photos, videos,

interests in the very same place. Modern

form of communication that is. Followed

by Twitter, where you “twit“

anything that’s on your mind and share

it with the world or you can follow any-

one else who’s on Twitter and see what

they’re up to, from your bro sitting in the

next room to any sort of celebrities, or

both, world with no boundaries, yay.

Skypemade telephones look

pathetic, as this program provided people

with the opportunity to call (or video call)

people any place with internet connection,

most importantly, free of charge. In 1998

that would’ve sounded like a silly fairytale,

but that became real in the Ooze. And

that is really cool. I mean it. Like awe-

somely cool.

I ’ d a l s o l i k e t o m e n t i o n

Trolling, as some consider

it to be a bad things, but FUUU comics

rocked the Web with all kinds of troll faces,

look up Wikipedia what that all is about,

on your left I give you a comic which

reflects the 2000’s spirit pretty well.

Yes, we can.

All of this magazine’s articles are written by Anton Drachuk, who

isn’t even close to being a professional writer, though he really did enjoy

writing and designing all this

What we do in life e c h o e s

in eternity.”

We p u r-sue that w h i c h

retreats from us.”

Why so

serious?”

It’s called life, John. Activities

available, just add meaning.”

It ain’t how h a r d y o u h i t ; i t ’ s

about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”