American Military University

Opinion Essay #1

A Leap in the Dark: The Struggle to Create the American Republic

by

John Ferling

Essay by

Nathanael Miller

HIST 551

The American Revolution in Context

Dr. Anne Venson

A Leap in the Dark has provoked a decidedly mixed response in my own head. I

find John Ferling’s research to be impeccable, his narrative breathtaking, and his

sentences and paragraphs way too long for easy reading. While I would not hesitate to

recommend the information in the book to anyone, I would be very cautious to whom I

actually recommend reading the book. At first glance this book looks like a very easy

read. However, within only a few pages the over-long sentences and seemingly endless

paragraphs create an intimidating atmosphere that, I think, will turn off the casual reader.

My opinion is strongly influenced by my training as a professional journalist, and

I believe it is a valid one. A Leap in the Dark strikes me as a work that was intended to

appeal to a mass audience. To succeed at reaching such a broad set of demographics, you

have to write in a very distinct style, mixing short and long sentences, and short and long

paragraphs. I think Ferling was unable to completely separate himself from the more (to

put it bluntly) long-winded approached of purely scholarly works. His tenure as a

professor of history at the State University of West Georgia certainly equips him to get

deep in the historical weeds, but it did not equip him to write with brevity.

A Leap in the Dark was published in 2003. Already by the early 21st century we

were living in an Internet-dominated, media-saturated world with short attention spans.

To compete with the written word you have to write in a pithy, fast-paced style. Long

and short sentences create a variety that helps the reader move through the story, much as

the different peaks and twists on a roller coaster keep the ride interesting. If the roller

coaster was made up of repetitive, endless climbs followed by brief, infrequent drops and

thrills, the ride would fail. This analogy applies to writing for a mass audience.

In picking one paragraph at random from, page 265, I quote:

These were by far the most rancorous sessions that Congress had experienced

since it coped with the peace ulimata seven years previously. The Southern States, which

got nothing from Madrid’s offer, were opposed to the Spaniard’s tender. The Northern

States, desperate to partially offset its trade losses with the former parent state, were

favorable. In the end, Congress voted strictly along sectional lines—seven northern

states to five southern states—to make the agreement.1

Four sentences in a row. There are 22 words in the first sentence, 15 in the

second sentence, then 17, then 20. That’s an average of 18.5 words per sentence. Like

the roller coaster I eagerly board, my enthusiasm wanes during the endless climb. There

is no “payoff,” no sudden drop to pick up the pace and change up the experience. Yet the

same information can be conveyed with a much more dynamic pace:

These were by far the most rancorous sessions Congress had experienced in seven

years. The Southern States were opposed because they got nothing from Madrid’s offer.

The Northern States favored it because they were desperate to offset trade losses with

England. The final vote was along sectional lines. The seven northern states supported

the agreement, the five southern states voted against it.2

In the re-tooled version, the narrative flows much faster. In my edit, we now have

five sentences. There are 14 words in the first sentence, 12 in the second, 15 in the third

1 John Ferling, A Leap in the Dark: The Struggle to Create the American Republic. ((New York, Oxford

University Press, 2003), 265. 2 John Ferling, A Leap in the Dark: The Struggle to Create the American Republic. ((New York, Oxford

University Press, 2003), 265. *PARAPHRASED TEXT*

sentence, 7 words in the fourth, and 14 in the fifth sentence. That is an average of 12.4

words per sentence. To paraphrase Thomas Jefferson: never use four words when two

will do.

Another aspect that makes this book difficult to read is its “mass of gray.” In

design and layout, “gray space” is space (be it in a book, magazine, webpage, etc.) in

which printed text is so dominant that the human eye sees a literal mass of gray. No

visually appealing pattern exists to attract the eye. There is no easy way to find the start

of a paragraph or sentence. The page is just a mass of endless gray. This is not the way

to engage a reader; a mass of gray is intimidating, not inviting.

Again, picking pages at random, I opened A Leap in the Dark to pages 124-125.

Not counting the paragraph carried over from page 123, there are only four paragraphs on

these two pages. This is a classic case of a “mass of gray.” Even as a budding

professional historian, I find that if my eye slips from the line I’m on, even for a second, I

have difficulty finding my place again. In fact, it would be easier for me to find the

proverbial black bear in a blacked-out cave in the Black Forest at midnight than regain

my place on the page in A Leap in the Dark.

Glancing forward, I flipped to pages 466-467. Again, discounting the carry-over

paragraph from page 465, there are only four paragraphs over at two-page spread. The

same on pages 146-147, and pages 346-347. The book is one huge mass of gray. It is

wholly uninviting to read. A variety of long and short paragraphs helps the reader feel

they are accomplishing something by providing distinct mile markers (the changing

paragraphs) on the narrative’s road. Such a variety also makes it very easy to regain your

place if you have to look away from the page for a moment.

I know that a review of sentence structures, word length, and page layout is not

the expected course for an opinion essay on a scholarly work. However, I think we in the

academic world get so wrapped up in the information we are trying to convey that we

forget how we convey it carries equal weight. All of us know people who say history is

boring. This is why. The academic integrity of A Leap in the Dark is unmatched, and for

that reason alone I have found it to be a solid resource for study. However, the

“packaging” of that academic integrity (in this case, the writing), gives me a headache no

amount of “Aleve” brand pain-killers can alleviate.

There is no reason an academic work cannot be easily readable.

Bibliography

John Ferling, A Leap in the Dark: The Struggle to Create the American Republic. ((New

York, Oxford University Press, 2003.)