oxfordshire mind peer supporter · pdf filecontents oxfordshire mind peer supporter handbook 2...

Oxfordshire Mind

Peer Supporter Handbook

Contents

2 Oxfordshire Mind Peer Supporter Handbook

About this handbook Page 3

Peer Support at Oxfordshire Mind Page 4

What is in this handbook Page 6

Format of this handbook Page 7

Layout Page 8

Self Assessment 1 Page 12



Module 1 Learning Page 9

Module 2 What is Peer Support? Page 17

Module 3 Peer Supporter Skills 7

Module 4 Feedback Page 35

Module 5 Peer Support Groups Page 43

Module 6 Boundaries Page 49

Module 7 Challenging Situations Page 57

Module 8 Taking Care of Myself Page 65

This handbook was written by Mick Kain of mick kain development and learning for Oxfordshire Mind as part of the design and delivery of a training programme in Peer Support. The document is the property of Oxfordshire Mind and needs to be recognised as such when being used. They may make changes and additions to the booklet to meet their own needs and as their expertise and practice of Peer Support develops. The content of the handbook is the intellectual property of Mick Kain, with the exceptions of the PEER acronym and Safe Guarding information which were written by Kate Trotman, Peer Support Co-ordinator of Oxfordshire Mind, and the Five Ways To Wellbeing which is developed from work done by the New Economics Foundation - www.neweconomics.org Oxfordshire Mind wishes to thank the Oxfordshire Mind Peer Support Advisory Group and the membership of the first two training programmes for their active input into the development of this booklet. This handbook offers one perspective of Peer Support. Always check with your own organisation’s policies, procedures and culture of good practice. When printing this booklet please ensure the Oxfordshire Mind name is on each page used, and when using it as part of training or other discussions, please acknowledge authorship.

[email protected]

Introduction from Patrick Taylor

Peer support has been at the heart of good mental health services for a long time now. It’s certainly been right at the centre of how Mind has worked. People helping themselves, learning from each other, taking back control of their own lives. We hear stories every day of how powerful peer support can be. That’s why we believe so passionately in bringing people together and helping strengthen the networks of support that are there for all of us, in all our communities. And it’s what this handbook is all about. It started life as a training course to bring people together and work out the best way people could use their own life experience (including experience of mental health problems) to give something back and support others. The thoughtful input of all those who participated, together with those on our peer support advisory group, has now led to this - a handbook with material for others to adapt and use for themselves. Special thanks go to Mick Kain and Kate Trotman who facilitated the course and produced this wonderful handbook. We are very proud of it - I hope others find it useful! Patrick Taylor Director Oxfordshire Mind


Peer Support at Oxfordshire Mind


Oxfordshire Mind has pioneered 'peer support' over the last 30 years and mainstreamed the approach across our core services. In 2011-12 1600 people accessed our Peer Support groups.

Integrating Peer Support approaches into our services, including the development of the Peer Supporter role over the last 2 years, has been simultaneously complex, challenging and exciting. The following notes provide a brief overview of what we have learnt and of the key issues for any organisation to consider when establishing new Peer Support initiatives.

Developing a clear vision Developing a clear vision Developing a clear vision Developing a clear vision

Ask yourself what you hope to achieve through developing Peer Support initiatives. What will be the unique contribution of Peer Supporters to the services you provide and how will these people add value? Having a clear vision will enable you to better communicate your intentions and motivations to others, including those within your organisation and external stakeholders. Different people will have valuable contributions to make and so you should approach the project with enough flexibility to be able to explore different ideas and approaches.

Organisational commitment Organisational commitment Organisational commitment Organisational commitment

Having adequate support and commitment across your organisation is essential for ensuring the success of new Peer Support initiatives. Involving people at all levels at an early stage will help to create clarity, explore ideas and identify any potential issues. Commitment from senior management to the development of your project will ensure that there is appropriate support and resource available, but buy-in from frontline staff is equally important. Valuing the experience of those working on the ground and being responsive to their concerns will help to build a sense of ownership and an enthusiasm for and commitment to the Peer Support model.

Integration into existing services Integration into existing services Integration into existing services Integration into existing services

Peer Support has been at the heart of good mental health services for a long time. When people come together in services they will produce informal and naturally occurring support networks. New Peer Support initiatives should aim to consolidate and build on this existing culture of Peer Support, building understanding and ensuring people are equipped with the skills and insight to learn from each other and take back control of their own lives.

"I have always supported other members of the Peer Support Groups I attend, but the training has really helped me to think about how I support people, and also more aware of my own mental health and so better able to look after myself… Before I tended to try to fix things for people, but that didn't actually enable them to take action themselves. Now I tend to listen more and guide them towards relevant help."

(Oxfordshire Mind Peer Supporter)

In developing new Peer Support initiatives it is therefore important to take stock of the existing landscape and to think carefully about how Peer Support can be integrated, complement and add value to existing services and ways of working. Peer Support is most likely to flourish in recovery focused services, with a culture that values lived experience and recognises the benefits of mutual support.

Engagement Engagement Engagement Engagement

It is expected practice to engage with and include the views of people with experience of using services in the development of any new service. In the case of Peer Support this is fundamentally important. The underlying values of Peer Support recognise the importance of and the unique contribution that can be made by people with lived experience of mental health problems and recovery. Beneficiaries of your project should be consulted at the initial stages of the project to help shape your vision and to define how Peer Support can best add value to your existing services. It may also be appropriate to establish a steering or advisory group, including potential beneficiaries, to contribute towards the initial and ongoing development of Peer Support initiatives.


Ongoing managementOngoing managementOngoing managementOngoing management

Having launched your Peer Support project its likelihood of success or otherwise will, to a large extent, rest upon measures implemented to provide for ongoing management of the project and support for those directly involved in its delivery. Ask yourself how you can best support those in Peer Supporter roles, including how to provide space to work through difficulties, celebrate success, and maximise opportunities for personal development and growth. What are the likely needs of staff involved in the day-to-day delivery of the project and supervision of Peer Supporters? Would additional staff training be appropriate, and what ongoing mechanisms for supporting and responding to staff would be helpful?

By building the organisational and staff capacity and commitment to the provision of individualised and group based support and supervision you will help to ensure that Peer Supporters achieve a meaningful and positive experience; develop skills, confidence and self-esteem, and; contribute to the overall outcomes of the project.

Development and staying true to the principlesDevelopment and staying true to the principlesDevelopment and staying true to the principlesDevelopment and staying true to the principles

As you continue to develop Peer Support within your organisation it will be important to hold on to and stay true to the underlying principles of the model: mutuality and equality; empowerment and recovery, and; the co-production of services. Remember that Peer Supporters are equal participants in the process of Peer Support and are not part of staff teams; co-option of Peer Supporters into staff structures would undermine their role and ability to form mutual and equal relationships Think about how you can continue to involve a range of stakeholders in the ongoing development of your project and, in particular, how those accessing Peer Support and Peer Supporters can contribute. For example, what role can experienced Peer Supporters play in training and mentoring people who are new to the role? How can participants in Peer Support take a more active role in the management of the project, and build sustainability into the model?

Embedding the values and practice of Peer Support within your organisation is likely to be an ongoing process. The experience of Peer Support in action may help to solidify understanding and buy-in from staff and from people using services, but this should be backed up with ongoing discussion and exploration of the values, principles, opportunities and challenges inherent in Peer Support. Remaining flexible and willing to explore different approaches will help ensure you can adapt to unforeseen difficulties and build on areas of achievement.

Developing Peer Support in your organisation? Help is at hand!

Oxfordshire Mind is committed to sharing its learning and supporting the development of Peer Support across the mental health sector. In addition to making this handbook available for use we can offer flexible consultancy and training support to other organisations seeking to develop Peer Support within their services. These include:

The Bronze PackageThe Bronze PackageThe Bronze PackageThe Bronze Package

A two-day (with the option of a half-day follow-up) 'Introduction to Implementing Peer Support into your organisation' for managers and coordinators.

Cost: £1200 for 2 days training plus £10 per Peer Supporter Handbook. An additional half day follow-up can be provided for £300.

The 'Silver' Package The 'Silver' Package The 'Silver' Package The 'Silver' Package

A comprehensive four-day 'Becoming a Peer Supporter' training package for potential Peer Supporters.

Cost: £2400 for 4 days training plus £10 per Peer Supporter handbook.

The 'Gold' Package The 'Gold' Package The 'Gold' Package The 'Gold' Package

As the 'Silver' package, but with the additional benefit of co-facilitation of the training delivery with prospective trainers from your organisation. Follow-up support, supervision and consultation can be provided to help consolidate the experience.

Cost: Please contact us to discuss your needs.

To find out more about the above packages and to discuss the individual needs of your organisation please To find out more about the above packages and to discuss the individual needs of your organisation please To find out more about the above packages and to discuss the individual needs of your organisation please To find out more about the above packages and to discuss the individual needs of your organisation please contact Linda McDiarmid.contact Linda McDiarmid.contact Linda McDiarmid.contact Linda McDiarmid. T: T: T: T: 01865 263739 e: [email protected]

This booklet is a tool for developing skills and reflecting on good practice in Peer Support. It is an aid to building your organisation’s own way of understanding and delivering Peer Support. There are four main components:-

• Common concepts in Peer Support • Information and skills models useful for helping people • Reflection exercises • Self Assessment exercises

These are broken down into 7 modules.

• Learning • What is Peer Support • Peer Support Skills • Feedback • Boundaries • Challenging situations • Taking Care of Yourself

What is in this handbook?

Think of this handbook as a resource for what you want or need. With handbooks like this it can be helpful not to think you have to start at the beginning and work through it in order. Start with subjects that interest you, or that you are looking at in a training course. Work in the way that suits you best. Some people like to reflect by reading, some by looking at a particular statement and wondering about it for some time before they want to look at any more, and some will find the reflection exercises help them best. The handbook can be used in a number of different ways:-

• To support a training course in being a Peer Supporter • Personal learning and reflection in being a Peer Supporter • Tools for Peers to reflect and think about issues • To help Peer Support services reflect on their effectiveness

Remember that all the ideas in this booklet offer one perspective of Peer Support. They are useful issues and questions to consider. In your own situation always check with your organisation’s policies, procedures and culture of good practice.

How to use this handbook.


An individual page or Reflection Exercise

As a whole booklet

Reading a ‘hard copy’ (Printed out onto paper)

Connected to the internet

Downloaded from a memory stick

Reading it on a computer

Any Local Mind Association is welcome to print or copy some, any or all of this document for their own use. When doing so please follow these guide lines:- • It is preferable to use ivory or cream coloured paper This is because the colours used work well on that background, and many people with some form of visual impairment, dyslexia or other barrier to using visual images often find bright white difficult to read and a soft mat background helps. • Ensure that the ownership of the document is included on the page • Acknowledge the authorship and ownership of this document when using it in groups and training events.

Printing this handbook

The booklet is available in different formats.

Format of this handbook

Use whatever format woks best for you. You may like to try different formats for different activities. • Looking at Reflection Exercises on a computer and reading from a printed copy. • Using the Reflection Exercises as a group learning activity and presenting information to

each other. • Printing out information, cutting it into sections and sticking it in your learning log

alongside your own thoughts. Be creative. Try all sorts of new things out. You may find something really useful to you by doing something in an unusual way.


Layout

The booklet is formatted in a way intended to show you what sort of information is on each page.

Ordinary text is introductory information. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Diagrams offer a more visual way of look at an idea.

Pages headed with Reflection Exercise and using green or brown boxes are tools to help you reflect.

Gold boxes highlight important thoughts or to break up the larger images.

Purple boxes contain key ideas to think about.

Reflection Exercise


Module 1

Learning


Brookfield’sBrookfield’sBrookfield’sBrookfield’s Critical ReflectionCritical ReflectionCritical ReflectionCritical Reflection

1. Assumption analysis1. Assumption analysis1. Assumption analysis1. Assumption analysis Identifying our values, assumptions and the habits we base our decisions on. Seeing how they drive and direct our decisions and action.

2. Contextual awareness2. Contextual awareness2. Contextual awareness2. Contextual awareness Checking that we are taking into account all the factors influencing the issue or situation we are facing.

3. Reflective scepticism3. Reflective scepticism3. Reflective scepticism3. Reflective scepticism Be willing to question whatever thinking we have come to, it is not the whole truth.

4. Imaginative speculation4. Imaginative speculation4. Imaginative speculation4. Imaginative speculation Go beyond the obvious and allow the use of new, original or unusual perspectives.

Learning about Peer Support and how to be a Peer Supporter

Learning new ways to see ourselves to improve our quality of life.

Learning is a very human process. We are constantly asking, “why is that?” , “How does that work?”, “How can I find out about…?” Like any other skill, we can also become more skilled at it. For Peer Support it can be helpful to think about two areas of learning.

Learning

Below is a useful way of wondering about things that can help us go beyond the things we currently know:-


We are all a product of our experiences. How we see the world, ourselves and others are ways of thinking that we have learned. This learning gives each of us unique qualities and strengths that we can share with others. It also gives us ways of thinking and seeing things that may be unhelpful to us. It is useful to think about how we have come to ‘know’ ourselves and the world around us. In Peer Support we move away from talking about diagnoses and illness and instead ask “What happened to me and how did I learn to see the world as a result?” Understanding that we have learnt what we know also opens up the opportunity to relearn. We can ask ourselves whether what we have learnt is a helpful way of seeing things, challenge our beliefs about ourselves, the world and others. We can try out new things based on new beliefs. How can we see ourselves differently and what happens if we act with these new beliefs?

Learning and recovering

Cyclical learningCyclical learningCyclical learningCyclical learning We think and act in

ways which reinforce what we have learned to

believe

Flashes of inspirationFlashes of inspirationFlashes of inspirationFlashes of inspiration We have learning moments when we

see things free of our misconceptions

Hard workHard workHard workHard work Challenging what I think I know and how we learn to

view things

RelearningRelearningRelearningRelearning We try out new ways of seeing things and new patterns of action that give us a better quality of life

ExperienceExperienceExperienceExperience What happened to me that taught me what I know about myself,

others and the world?

NowNowNowNow I act based on what I have learned.

This often works well enough, but may have unhelpful beliefs and habits.


Self Assessment 1Self Assessment 1Self Assessment 1Self Assessment 1

You may wish to use this exercise to think about what you would like to learn about Peer Support. Some of your learning will be for the role and some for yourself.


What I want to learn:What I want to learn:What I want to learn:What I want to learn: for personal interest, self development or my future plans

What I need to learn:What I need to learn:What I need to learn:What I need to learn: to help me carry out the Peer Supporter role effectively

Name:

Date:

Keeping a learning log

While using this booklet it can be a useful to keep a Learning Log. • It can help us to reflect and deepen learning. • It records learning to help us remember it. • We can go back to what we were thinking later on so that we can re-think in the light

of more recent experiences. A learning log is a creative and ever changing thing that grows and develops as we gain new ideas or change our opinions. It will reflect our own way of doing things and our own personality. The principles of a Learning Log are:-

• Store your ideas so that you can look at them more objectively • Record your range of thoughts so you can come back to them - sometimes what

seems odd or wrong at the time turns out to be really useful later. • Use recording to think further about your ideas • Use your record to show others, and get their perspective

ExternaliseExternaliseExternaliseExternalise Write, draw or record your thoughts,

questions, learning and insights. By having them in a form that you can look at or listen

to. It is easier to consider them more objectively when you are not having to hold

them in your head.

ReflectReflectReflectReflect Step back from the information and try to get a new perspective on it. Question why you think it is like that rather than justify it. What evidence is there for and against?

Can it be seen in a different way?

Get an someone else to help you reflect.Get an someone else to help you reflect.Get an someone else to help you reflect.Get an someone else to help you reflect. Hearing what someone else notices or asks

is an opportunity to search for deeper understanding or a new perspective. This could be a Peer Supporter, a friend or a

specialist.

Form some conclusions for actionForm some conclusions for actionForm some conclusions for actionForm some conclusions for action Having spent some time reflecting, decide what to do next. It is also an opportunity to

test out if different actions bring new results.


There are many formats to use for making a learning log. You may do something which no one has ever thought of before but works for you. Here are some ideas that other people have found useful:-

Learning Log Format

Why not try a format that feels new and unusual to you. Sometimes we learn more when we take ourselves out of our comfort zone.

Mind mapping Put one thought down in the middle of a page. From that thought list other thoughts that come from it. List other thoughts that come from those. Use lines and boxes to link thoughts and show which thought led to the next.

Asking a Peer to interview you It can be helpful to have someone else listen to you. Chose someone you feel comfortable taking risks with. Tell the other person your thoughts, questions, learning and ideas. Ask them to say back to you what they have heard, and to ask questions about it to help you think it through.

Drawing and diagrams Create images using shapes, pictures or diagrams to test out how best to represent your thinking. Remember to use lots of colours.

Writing Write your thoughts, questions, learning and ideas. You may like to do this as a diary, or as a letter to yourself. You could try lists, sentences, or brainstorming.

Tape recording Using a tape recorder, Dictaphone, computer (and some mobile phones) to say your thoughts out loud. Think of describing them to someone else. Play it back to yourself to see what else you notice.



Reflection ExerciseReflection ExerciseReflection ExerciseReflection Exercise

You may wish to use this at the end of each module You may wish to use this at the end of each module You may wish to use this at the end of each module You may wish to use this at the end of each module to reflect on your learning.to reflect on your learning.to reflect on your learning.to reflect on your learning.

Name: Date:

The Main thing I would like to remember is...

I would like to find out more about...

What I found helpful was...

What I found new and challenging was...

As a result of my thinking I would like to try...

Module 2

What is Peer

support?


Peer Support has always meant the very best in people helping each other. It is the basis of all societies throughout history, and confirms our humanity. It is our ability, desire and need for peers that makes us the species we are, and is part of our genetic make up. So why do we need to plan it, and have a Handbook about it? Peer Support in this context is a term used to describe a particular way of giving and receiving help with our lives, wellbeing and mental health. At different times in our lives, the help we need comes from different sources: a hair dresser, a doctor, a solicitor, a plumber, a Housing Support Worker. Sometimes the support we want and need is not from an ‘expert’, but from someone walking along with us for a while. We are looking for a group or person who can share their own hopes and experiences, and someone who will value us for what we can offer back to them. Peer Support is a way of organising this sort of mutual and shared help.

What is Peer Support?

Positive Empathetic Empowering Reciprocal

People are seen as individuals rather than diagnoses, and encouraged to recognise their strengths abilities and potential. Peer Supporters offer genuine understanding based on shared experience of mental health problems and emotional distress. Lived Experience is valued and people are enabled to move forward and take control of their own wellbeing. Peer Support relationships are equal and mutually helpful. Responsibility is shared and everyone benefits.

R

E

P

E


Some core issues for Peer Support

Strengths gifts and abilities focusStrengths gifts and abilities focusStrengths gifts and abilities focusStrengths gifts and abilities focus Peer Support always takes account of the wonderful things each human being brings. While this may seem obvious it is actually hard work. To focus on strengths we have to ensure we are making space for each person to use their gifts and skills. We also need to take time to name them and remind each other, and ourselves, of what they are.

Learning and RecoveringLearning and RecoveringLearning and RecoveringLearning and Recovering Peer Support is a process with an intention behind it. The purpose of meeting is to help each other build our lives. Mutual support is the means by which we can discover new and better things for ourselves and each other. How can we learn to see ourselves in a more helpful way? What would give me a better quality of life?

We are the product of our experiencesWe are the product of our experiencesWe are the product of our experiencesWe are the product of our experiences In Peer Support we do not look at each other and ask “What is wrong with you?” We ask “How did I learn to see myself like that?”, “What happened to me and how did I learn to see the world as a result?” “Is that true, and what happens if I challenge that belief about myself, about others, about the world?” We help each other try new things out based on new ideas about ourselves.

We all have things to bringWe all have things to bringWe all have things to bringWe all have things to bring Each one of us has strengths, qualities, skills, and gifts that we can offer. Even when we forget that. One focus of Peer Support is helping each other find and use our abilities. When we live our ability we can use our energy creatively.


Intentional Support

Peer Support is a process with an intention behind it. The purpose of meeting is to help each other build our lives. Mutual support is the means by which we can discover new and better things for ourselves and each other. Focusing on the new things I can do that will give me a better quality of life, and using my strengths, qualities and gifts to do that is a Recovery model. The intention is to support each other to build things into our lives that will improve our quality of life and offer us more options. These are some of the core principles:-

MutualityMutualityMutualityMutuality Right at the core of Peer Support is the notion of mutuality. This is the shared nature of help and being helped. It is not the role of one to be the helper and the other to be helped. We are the active receiver of what the other person is trying to offer us, and the active giver, offering what we can to them.

Helping people help each otherHelping people help each otherHelping people help each otherHelping people help each other A designated Peer Supporter carries a different role from others. The role is to enable the experience and process of Peer Support. We may take a leadership role to set up meetings, groups, and other activities. We will use our legitimate role to help build safety, and offer ways of doing Peer Support. The help comes from the mutual support. So we will also take part in receiving and giving help. A very powerful way of leading Peer Support is to be seen to do it.

Strengths, gifts and abilities focusStrengths, gifts and abilities focusStrengths, gifts and abilities focusStrengths, gifts and abilities focus Peer Support always takes account of the wonderful things each human being brings. To focus on strengths, we have to ensure we are making space for each person to use their gifts and skills.

Peers, friendly but not friendsPeers, friendly but not friendsPeers, friendly but not friendsPeers, friendly but not friends Good Peer Support holds a careful balance between being a friendly person, and holding a role. The mutuality is about the will to help, challenge, encourage and build a working relationship.

Walking with for a whileWalking with for a whileWalking with for a whileWalking with for a while Peer support is not about having to sort things out for other people. One of the best and most helpful things about Peer Support is just to have someone with you while you work things out. We will offer people ‘time to think things through’, and support and encouragement to try new things out. We will also invite others to listen to us and help us try new things. Having someone around while we take risks is so reassuring and comforting.


It can include a plan for difficult times

Recovery recognises that people have good and bad times in their lives and that it can be helpful to plan how to deal with difficult time. This can include planning in additional support and planned delegation of responsibility during crisis times. This may be recorded in a wellbeing plan.

Is about a range of support networks

Recovery includes any network of family, friends, professionals, and support workers that the person finds helpful to their wellbeing.

A journey or process

Recovery is about an ever developing life experience. It is not a single achievement, but a range of life developing changes that adapt over a person’s life. It includes good and bad times and takes into account that a person changes through their life.

Encourages and enables the person to take control of their own wellbeing

Recovery recognises that the person is at the centre of their own wellbeing. It supports the person to identify what will build a better quality of life. It also challenges the person to go beyond dependency on professional services and to discover their own abilities.

Hope

Recovery focuses on the possibilities. It includes believing that recovery is possible, and challenges people to allow themselves to experience hope.

Holistic Approach Recovery sees the person as a whole and complex individual, not just as a diagnosis. This means that wellbeing needs to include all aspects of that individual’s life, vision and wellbeing.

‘Recovery’ has become a term that refers to a philosophy, a vision and a way of talking about how people who have experienced mental health difficulties take control of their own lives and wellbeing. It is a challenge to established models of care which tend to talk about diagnoses and illness, and see wellbeing in terms of reduction of symptoms. ‘Recovery ‘ is now being defined by people who experience mental health difficulties as a more creative and integrated way of looking at quality of life. Central to the thinking is that it is focused on the individual and therefore different for each person. It is also evolving and so difficult to define without limiting the new possibilities that people are discovering. At present, these would be key aspects of Recovery.

Recovery



You may wish to use this exercise for your own learning. You can write, draw or make other marks in the boxes below, use it to discuss with a friend or colleague, or to think through on your own.

1. Think of some of the core qualities, skills or gifts that you bring to being a Peer Supporter.

2. When and how did you learn that you had that quality, skill or gift?


Name: Date:

Reflection ExerciseReflection ExerciseReflection ExerciseReflection Exercise You may wish to use this to think about and clarify what the role of Peer Supporter is in your organisation.

As a result of my thinking, is there anything I want to ask or check out. Who do I need to discuss this with?

What do I want to do as a Peer Supporter?


What do the people being supported by Peer Support want out of it?

What does my organisation want Peer Support to be? Think about what I am being told, by any Volunteer Agreement, policies, etc..

Name: Date:


You may wish to use this to consider mutuality in a Peer Support relationship or group. You could think of the ‘other person’ as one person or a group of people.

Me The Other Person

What do I offer and put in?

What do I get out? What do they get out?

What do they offer and put in?


Name: Date:




Name: Date:






Module 3

Peer Supporter Skills


Helping Skills

Remember that...Remember that...Remember that...Remember that...

People will not act on information they do not believePeople will not act on information they do not believePeople will not act on information they do not believePeople will not act on information they do not believe People will not succeed with goals that they do not People will not succeed with goals that they do not People will not succeed with goals that they do not People will not succeed with goals that they do not understandunderstandunderstandunderstand People will see things through that they genuinely valuePeople will see things through that they genuinely valuePeople will see things through that they genuinely valuePeople will see things through that they genuinely value

The basis of all effective helping is a tried and trusted set of skills. They are also the core skills for people management, coaching, supervision, counselling and therapy. Using these skills does not mean you are ‘doing counselling’. The different tasks are defined by the subject matter, the focus, the intention and the outcomes aimed for. The basis of helping is enabling the person being helped to think, understand and to decide for themselves. We are not there to work out the solution and persuade the other person of our answer. In mutual support we will be using the discussions to help and be helped. We are searching for a better and more accurate understanding of a situation so that we can plan our actions to create new outcomes which will give us a better quality of life.

The core skills are...The core skills are...The core skills are...The core skills are...

Listening Reflecting back Questioning Sharing

Re-framing Checking information

I need to see myself differently to get different things out of lifeI need to see myself differently to get different things out of lifeI need to see myself differently to get different things out of lifeI need to see myself differently to get different things out of life A core underlying principle of Peer Support is that I can not get a better situation if I continue to see myself and the world in the way I have always seen it, and do the things I always do. How I act invites a particular outcome. To change the outcome, I need to act differently. To help me act differently I need to challenge the ways I have learned to see myself and the world. When I have a more helpful way of seeing myself, I will act in ways that invite good outcomes.



Social conversations drift about a bit and sort of end when they run out of steam.

Supportive listening needs a clear ending and respectful goodbyes. Allow time to wind

down.

Mutual listening needs time for both people to discuss how the time has been for

them and what to do.

If something upsets you, sharing it to get the other

person’s support.

If something upsets you, remembering it to talk over later with someone who

supports you.

If something upsets you deciding if you wish to discuss it or end the

conversation and seek other support.

Keeping the flow going by listening and chatting in equal

measure.

Allowing pauses in the conversation for thinking, checking if the person has more they want to say.

Allowing time for reflection. Discussing how the

conversation is going and agreeing where to go next.

Replying with a story of your own.

Replying by reflecting back what you have heard to

check you have understood and to show you are

listening.

Replying by checking you have understood and comparing your own

experiences.

Sharing similar experiences to those the other person is

talking about.

Listening to how the experience has affected the person you are listening to.

Using the experiences of both people to find new and

creative ways of seeing the world.

The conversation is for entertainment and both

people share responsibility for making it interesting.

The conversation is to support the person being listened to and the person listening needs to show

interest.

The conversation is for both people to gain new

perspectives and improve their quality of life.

Social listening Supportive listening Mutual listening

Listening

What did they do that I could try out or do more of...

What was the person doing that meant they listened...

Think of a time when you really felt listened to...


Name: Date:

Refection ExerciseRefection ExerciseRefection ExerciseRefection Exercise

You may wish to use this to think about how to improve your listening. Start in the bottom bubble and use the questions to help you reflect on your own skills.

Closed questions limit the answer sought and are used to help the person be specific and bring attention to a specific point.

Questions in-between which do not totally restrict the possible answer, but are not totally open. They bring focus while allowing free thinking within invited limits.

Open questions help expand information and do not require specific information.

Skilled questioning is the conscious choice of question and question type that will enable the person to gain a deeper understanding of the situation while enabling the person to think for themselves and come to their own conclusions.

Questioning Questions are intended to help the person reflect on their views by comparing them with evidence around them. There is a continuum of question style:- “What would you like to “What would you like to “What would you like to “What would you like to

talk about today?” talk about today?” talk about today?” talk about today?”

“What would you say are “What would you say are “What would you say are “What would you say are the most important things the most important things the most important things the most important things

to you?”to you?”to you?”to you?”

“What are your “What are your “What are your “What are your strengths?” strengths?” strengths?” strengths?”

“What happened to you “What happened to you “What happened to you “What happened to you that you see yourself in that you see yourself in that you see yourself in that you see yourself in

that way?”that way?”that way?”that way?”

“what will be the outcome “what will be the outcome “what will be the outcome “what will be the outcome if you continue with that if you continue with that if you continue with that if you continue with that

course of action?” course of action?” course of action?” course of action?”

“What would you like to “What would you like to “What would you like to “What would you like to try out?” try out?” try out?” try out?”

“Would you rather go to “Would you rather go to “Would you rather go to “Would you rather go to college or search for a college or search for a college or search for a college or search for a

job?”job?”job?”job?”

“What time would you like “What time would you like “What time would you like “What time would you like to meet?”. to meet?”. to meet?”. to meet?”.


SharingSharingSharingSharing Sharing our own experiences can help the person we are helping to hear that others experience similar of different things. It can be a way of reflecting back and it can be a way of offering a different perspective. In mutual support we share our experiences as a way of also letting the other person’s experiences help us challenge ourselves. Mutual reflecting on our experiences can help us both challenge our restrictive assumptions about ourselves, and try out new ways of seeing ourselves.

Reflecting backReflecting backReflecting backReflecting back This is used to show the person that I am listening and being attentive to what is important to them. It is also useful to bring attention to a specific point by saying it back to the person. Often when people are talking they get caught up in the story and stop thinking about what they are saying. Saying it back to the person can offer them the chance to hear what they said and think about it.

Checking informationChecking informationChecking informationChecking information As we discuss things we need to wonder if the way we see things is right. In Peer Support we recognise that our experiences have taught us some inaccurate opinions. These can be challenged by asking “How do I know that?”, “What happened to me that I see myself and the world like that?” We may not always be able to work out what is accurate and we may need to search for unbiased information. This can be difficult to do, and talking this through with someone can help us be more objective.

ReReReRe----framingframingframingframing People can get stuck because they see things in a particular way. We can apply what we have learned from our past experience in a way that prevents us from opening out our thinking. Offering a different frame is intended to allow someone a more accurate analysis of the situation which gives them option for action. E.g.. – A “I’m really useless. Every time I do it, it all goes wrong” B “I notice that you keep having a go. I wouldn’t call that ‘useless’, I would call it ‘determined’. Maybe we could look at some different things for you to do that may get a better result.”

Other Helping Skills


ReReReRe----framing framing framing framing too much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enough

Checking Checking Checking Checking too much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enough informationinformationinformationinformation

Sharing Sharing Sharing Sharing too much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enough

Closed Closed Closed Closed too much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enough questionsquestionsquestionsquestions

Open questions Open questions Open questions Open questions too much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enough

Reflecting Reflecting Reflecting Reflecting too much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enough

ListeningListeningListeningListening too much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enoughtoo much a lot Often sometimes rarely not enough

As a result of my thinking, what would I like to try out?


Name: Date:


You may wish to use this to think about your helping skills. Think about what you tend to do by placing yourself along the line. You may wish to note you are different in different situations and on different days.




Name: Date:






Module 4

Feedback


Giving each other feedback is one of the ways in which we help offer different ways of seeing ourselves and knowing how others experience us. In mutual support telling others what we observe and hearing back what they observe helps us update the beliefs we have formed about ourselves. Feedback is not automatically correct information. What we feedback is the perspective of the person giving the feedback, and what is heard is the responsibility of the person receiving the feedback. The responsibility for useful feedback is equally shared between the giver and receiver.

Feedback

Allow the person their own opinion. Am I willing to listen to how they see it?

Always own feedback. It is only the way I see it.

Consider how emotions impact on my judgement. Is how I am feeling affecting what I want to say?

Offer feedback with generosity. Am I in a helpful frame of mind? Am I trying to help here?

Things to remember when I give feedback.

Think about what you are trying to communicate. You may wish to check what has

been heard.

Responsibility to give clear, honest information whilst owning my feelings and

opinion.

Think about what you have heard. Decide if you want to

accept it or not.

Responsibility to be open to content, owning what I meaning

I am giving to it and my reactions.

Giving Feedback

Receiving Feedback


When giving feedback it can be helpful to break it down into observations and what I think it means. This makes it clearer to the person listening, and also easier for them to ask for clarification. It can help me by enabling me to think clearly about what I am trying to say. Think about giving feedback in these stages:-

When giving someone feedback we are trying to help them. To bring something that a person does to their attention can be a very powerful experience. This means we need to think carefully about how to give feedback and to be as clear as possible. When giving someone feedback consider these points:-

Offer my opinion about what it may mean, owning that it

is my opinion

Listen to the response

Describe the impact I observe

Describe what I observe to happen

• This is the way I see it. That does not make it the whole truth. • The person I am feeding back to has the right to chose what to

accept and what to reject. • Am I giving feedback in a spirit of generosity and helpfulness? • Is this the best time to give this feedback? Am I in a frame of mind

to be helpful? Is the other person ready to listen just now? • Am I stopping myself form saying something? What help do I need

to be able to offer my feedback?


Giving feedback

Having given a person feedback we need to listen to how they respond to it. They may need me to say it in a different way or go over some of it again. I need to remember that they do not have to accept it. They may also ask for additional information that I had not thought about. Remember that you do not have to have all the information. You are giving your perspective to the best of your ability. When I listen to how the feedback has impacted on the person it can also give me a chance to think about how I gave the feedback. Does their response tell me something about how I put the feedback? Was it clear? Did it come across as helpful? I can ask for feedback about how I gave the feedback! Sometimes feedback can be a powerful experience. Having given feedback I may feel quite stirred up and need to take care of myself.

Whatever feedback someone gives you, there may be useful information in there that you can use. Here are some guidelines for receiving feedback:- • Listen to what is being said.

• Notice how you are affected by it and how that impacts on your ability to listen.

• Consider all the information you have heard.

• Ask for information you need to help you think about it and for clarification.

• Ask for examples of what you have done that gives the person that perspective.

• Take the time you need. You may want to think about it and come back later.

• Decide what to accept and what to reject.

• Decide how you want to use the feedback you have accepted.

Having given feedback


Receiving feedback

2. How was the feedback given that helped you hear it?

What skills and ideas can you take from this experience that you can apply to other situations?

Reflection exerciseReflection exerciseReflection exerciseReflection exercise

You may wish to use this to develop your thinking about how best to give and receive feedback Start in the middle of the page.

3. What did you do that helped you think about the feedback you received?


1. Think of a time when you were given some difficult feedback that tuned out to be useful to you. Briefly, describe it.

Name: Date:




Name: Date:






Self Assessment 2Self Assessment 2Self Assessment 2Self Assessment 2

You may wish to use this to think about what you are learning about Peer Support and your skills. You could use the format offered or just use the questions to think about it in your own way.

As a result of my As a result of my As a result of my As a result of my thinking, what thinking, what thinking, what thinking, what learning task do I learning task do I learning task do I learning task do I want to set myself?want to set myself?want to set myself?want to set myself?

What have I been learning?What have I been learning?What have I been learning?What have I been learning?

What qualities, skills or gifts do I bring to Peer Support?What qualities, skills or gifts do I bring to Peer Support?What qualities, skills or gifts do I bring to Peer Support?What qualities, skills or gifts do I bring to Peer Support?

What Do I not do so well?What Do I not do so well?What Do I not do so well?What Do I not do so well?


Name: Date:


Module 5

Peer Support Groups

Peer Support Groups

Peer Support groups can be places of immense support, creativity and hope. There are all the advantages of knowing that the folk around you can understand your experience like no-one else. The determination to overcome obstacles together can produce inspiration and solidarity. It is not all good news, though. Groups have powerful processes going on. While they can help produce enthusiasm and togetherness, they can also get stuck in self justification, in-fighting and negativity. It is important that those setting up Peer Support groups do not aim for a perfect group. Aiming for an effective, and positive group that will have some difficult times is more realistic. Expect the group to go of track sometimes. These are opportunities for people to reflect on how the group is doing, and to develop creative solutions.

The group has no useful focus. The aim of the group gets lost. Without some structure and purpose the group either gets bored, or gets into personality clashes.

One participant or a sub group of participants dominate the discussions. Time is not shared. Quieter participants are not listened to and do not have influence over the direction of the group.

The group becomes routine with no new ideas or learning. It may feel too safe or boring, and it is difficult to get a vision or direction. Discussions focus on keeping things the same.

Signs of a group Signs of a group Signs of a group Signs of a group going off trackgoing off trackgoing off trackgoing off track

Decisions and solutions are negative and restrictive. They are made in the heat of the moment and are not about finding a way to help each other with the possibilities.

Factions appear, people take sides, respect has gone, and differences are not dealt with sensitively. Debate turns to who is to blame and is full of touchiness and argument.


New and creative activities are tried out. There is interest in open solutions. Risks are planned and managed to allow for change. New people are welcomed in.

Decisions and solutions have a positive and creative direction. They are made in a calm and considered frame of mind. Decisions are regularly reviewed.

Participants speak to each other with respect. People use respectful language, and show interest in each other. When people disagree they seek to understand, and can agree to disagree.

Aims of the group are kept to. Attention is on the main reason for meeting. The energy and investment remains with the aim of the group and participants are aware of why they are there.

Signs of a Signs of a Signs of a Signs of a positive positive positive positive groupgroupgroupgroup

Time is fairly shared. No-one dominates the time. Quieter members are still able to join in the discussions and are listened to.

Keeping a group positive

Remember that a group never stops changing. We have to review the group regularly. We need to check that the aims of the group are still relevant and right for this group at this time. We need to check that the ways people treat each other are open and respectful. We need to check that new things are being planned and that people are benefiting. These discussions often result in documents recording decisions such as the Group Aims, and Working Agreement or Ground Rules. Using these to evaluate the group can help people get a good overview of how well it is meeting people’s needs. Remember to adapt and change as you learn new things about the group, and keep it relevant to now.


Refection ExerciseRefection ExerciseRefection ExerciseRefection Exercise

You may wish to use this to help you think about how effective your Peer Support group is. You could use this for your own thinking or invite everyone in the group to use it to help start a discussion.

For each of the issues below, think about where on the line your group is at present. Think creatively because groups can do different things in different circumstances. You may wish to use a variety of marks on the paper to show different behaviours at different times. Maybe add words or little pictures to help your thinking.

Group decisions are creative and open. Lots of room to learn and focus on the possibilities.

Group decisions focus on restriction. Experimentation is blocked.

Clear creative aims which are shared and help the group move forward.

Aims unclear or restrictive. Group muddled or stuck.

Arguing and blame. Challenge is not positive. Discrimination and assumptions.

Lots of healthy, respectful communication, support and challenge.

Everything the same. New ideas rejected. Nothing being reviewed.

New ideas being tried. Planned risks being taken and evaluated.

Everyone valued. People involved. New people can join and be welcome.

Factions and power struggles. Some people not heard. New people kept out.


Name: Date:




Name: Date:







Module 6

Boundaries

It is very important for Peer Supporters to manage their boundaries. It can be helpful to think through what you are, and are not, willing to do in this role. Each of us will have different things that feel comfortable or too much for us. Remember that your wellbeing is important. Where something is too much for you, withdraw in a respectful way. Let others know that you are stepping back from a particular issue or situation, and check that someone else is dealing with it.

When we decide to be a Peer Supporter we also need to think through what we find we can or are willing to do, and what we are not able to, or are unwilling to do. Within the boundaries of our organisation, we must take good care of ourselves. It is better to withdraw from a situation and pass it on to someone else than to get ourselves into something that we do not feel up to.

When it is right to step back from supporting, it is important that I do it in a way that is respectful and straightforward. It would be expected that I • Let the person I am supporting know that I am stepping back • Find another peer supporter, peer or worker to support the person I was supporting • Talk over the incident in supervision to check how I stepped away • Get the help and support I need

It may be right for me to step back from supporting when:- • I am dealing with my own crisis or issues • The issues being discussed by others are too upsetting for me • I feel the issues being discussed are beyond my skills or require a specialist • I am feeling trapped or made to do things I cannot agree with • The situation is outside the role of Peer Supporter

Some of the most important boundaries to consider are:- • Giving personal information • Meeting people outside Peer Support time • Lending and borrowing • Exclusive relationships and cliques • Time commitment • Passing on information and keeping things confidential

Boundaries


Not all good practice is held in formal documents. Much established expertise is contained within the ‘culture’ of an organisation. This is the way things have been done over history. It is based on how things have happened over the years and what has been learned from previous difficult situations or successes. You need to be an active part of building your organisation’s culture of good practice. This is done by joining in discussions and problem solving issues that arise.

Your organisation is likely to have policies or a code of conduct that sets out some of the expectations for how a Peer Supporter should behave. It is part of safety and your protection that you stay within these boundaries. Many policies are created from experience of what has worked or gone wrong before. Organisations usually review their policies regularly. It means we need to keep up to date with how good practice in Peer Support is seen in our own organisation. It is also helpful if we feedback to the people who write the policies what is working well and not so well, so that our experience of Peer Support can be included in policy development.

It is important that there is a reasonable level of consistency within an organisation. If each person has very different boundaries it is very difficult for people to know where they are. It leaves too much room for confusion, manipulation, bullying and favouritism. Each of us has to balance our individuality with the impact that will have on other Peer Supporters, and other people.

Working with policies

Sources of information about established boundaries:- • Policy and procedures manual • Codes of conduct • Aims and objectives of a particular Service or Unit within an

organisation • Any ground rules that a group has set • Volunteer agreements • Peer Supporter role descriptions • Guidance from a Peer Supporter Steering group

(or Advisory Group). • Supervisors and managers

Sources of information about culture These are places to participate in discussions to create and learn about good practice. • Peer Supporter supervision • End of day/session discussions • De-brief after an incident • Discussions of ground rules and boundary setting. • Problem solving with other Peer Supporters


When we set or relax a boundary it has impact on us and on other parties. We also need to consider the different impact our boundaries have at different times. What we do now may have a short term impact and a long term impact. I may do something now which seems generous, but later is seen as setting a precedent and is expected every time.

Some boundaries are very clear. They often relate to safety. Many of the boundaries we will have to deal with are really quite complicated. Rather than thinking of ‘rules’ it can be helpful to think of them as creative ways of dealing with competing and overlapping needs and requirements. Here are some of the most common parties to consider in a boundary situation. In some situations there will be more parties, and in some not all these will be relevant.

Thinking through boundaries

Ourselves

Other Organisations

Legal Issues

Family and Friends

Your Organisation

The public

Workers or Managers

Peer Supporters

Peers

Parties to consider when thinking about

boundaries

How I set or relax a boundary

The impact later The impact now


Refection ExerciseRefection ExerciseRefection ExerciseRefection Exercise You may wish to use this to think through a particular boundary issue. In the central bubble describe the situation, and then in each other bubbles describe the perspective of that party.

The situation Peer Supporters

Peers The Public

Workers or

managers

Legal Issues

Ourselves

Family and Friends

Other Organisations

Your Organisation


Name: Date:

What is meant by vulnerable adult? • Aged 18 or over • Receiving or in need of care or support • Unable to take care of himself or herself • Unable to protect himself or herself

Peer Supporters need to be aware that they may meet people who are the victims of abuse. This can be upsetting for us and we need to think about how it impacts on us and what help we need. We also need to be aware that abuse has a powerfully negative impact on the victim. It can lead to much distress and long term relationship difficulties. It can be helpful to be aware of the possibility of abuse. Organisations working with children and vulnerable adults have a responsibility to act to safeguard people they believe are victims of abuse. You will need to be aware of your own organisation’s policy on Child and Vulnerable Adult Safe Guarding. It is likely that you will be expected to report any suspected abuse. This is an introductory description of abuse to help raise your awareness.

Child and Vulnerable Adult Safe Guarding

What is meant by abuse? Abuse is the violation of an individual’s human and civil rights by someone else. Abuse may be intentional or unintentional. The important factor is whether the vulnerable person is harmed or not. Physical Physical Physical Physical –––– includes any form of assault (hitting, slapping, pushing, kicking), misuse of medication, misuse of restraint. Sexual Sexual Sexual Sexual –––– rape or any sexual act which was not actively consented to, or the person did not have the capacity to understand. Psychological / emotional Psychological / emotional Psychological / emotional Psychological / emotional –––– includes verbal abuse, threats, humiliation, intimidation, coercion, isolation, preventing contact with services / support networks. Financial Financial Financial Financial –––– includes theft, fraud, borrowing money without repayment and any pressure in connection with wills or property, possessions or benefits. Neglect Neglect Neglect Neglect –––– ignoring medical or physical needs, not providing access to appropriate care, the withholding of the necessities of life, such as medication, adequate food, water and heating. Discriminatory Discriminatory Discriminatory Discriminatory ---- all forms of harassment, slurs or similar treatment based on a person’s disability, ethnic origin, gender or sexuality. This may also include isolation or withdrawal from religious or cultural activity, services or support networks. Institutional Institutional Institutional Institutional ---- when people become treated as part of a system and forced to comply in a way that damages their individuality. This is unsatisfactory professional practice and may indicate more serious problems.


Check out your organisation’s policy The policy is there to promote good practice and can help us know what to do without having to work it all out ourselves. Coming across abuse can be very upsetting and knowing the policy will guide us can relieve us of too much responsibility.

Do not try to sort the situation out Remember that, as a Peer Supporter, it is not your responsibility to investigate suspected or alleged abuse. It is safe practice to inform the relevant person in your organisation such as a worker, manager or supervisor. Check with your organisation’s policy.

What should I do if someone discloses to me or makes an allegation of abuse?

• Take time to listen to the person without questioning or interrupting. • Don’t make hasty judgments or jump to conclusions. • Reassure the person and ask them what they would like to do about

what has happened. • Encourage them to talk to a responsible person such as a worker or

supervisor. This may include thinking about accessing specialist services.

• Do not promise to the person that you will keep what you have said confidential - you may have a responsibility to pass on information. Check with your own organisation’s policies.

• If the vulnerable person is in immediate danger, call 999.

Take care of yourself

Remember that your needs are important too. If you come across abuse, or even just hear of it, it can upset us. Remember to find others to support you and talk over the impact on yourself.

What should I do if I am concerned that someone might be the victim of abuse?

• Don’t jump to conclusions. • Ask the person about your concerns. E.g. ‘How did you

get that bruise?’ • Raise your concerns with a relevant responsible person

such as a supervisor.





Name: Date:







Module 7

Challenging Situations

Remember When we are in any way unclear, talk it over with someone else. Try to make difficult decisions alongside others to help you think.

Each situation is individual and we have to think about how best to respond.

Helping in a challenging situation is difficult. We can not force it to go right and we can only do our best.

Safety is best - we can always follow things up later on.

Err on the side or caution. Focus on safety and allow yourself not to have to rescue everyone.

Am I okay dealing with Am I okay dealing with Am I okay dealing with Am I okay dealing with this issue or situation?this issue or situation?this issue or situation?this issue or situation?

Would it be better if I Would it be better if I Would it be better if I Would it be better if I stepped away from stepped away from stepped away from stepped away from

this?this?this?this?

When we are Peer Supporters we are likely to come across behaviour and ways of relating which we find challenging. We can feel hurt, misunderstood, frightened, depended upon, and many other reactions. This can make helping someone difficult, and may leave us stressed. When thinking about challenging situations always check with your own organisation’s policies, procedures and culture of good practice. What each of us finds ‘challenging’ will be different because of who we are, our life experience, and how we are that day. If we are to be helpful in challenging situations it is essential that we make sure we take care of ourselves. When we do not we often cannot be helpful to others and may over stress ourselves. We must always ask ourselves:-

Working with Challenging situations

Do I need some help to Do I need some help to Do I need some help to Do I need some help to deal with this issue or deal with this issue or deal with this issue or deal with this issue or

situation?situation?situation?situation?

Who else could help Who else could help Who else could help Who else could help me and the other me and the other me and the other me and the other

person?person?person?person?

How is this affecting How is this affecting How is this affecting How is this affecting me and how will I be me and how will I be me and how will I be me and how will I be

afterwards?afterwards?afterwards?afterwards?

What support do I What support do I What support do I What support do I need or will need?need or will need?need or will need?need or will need?


Person is upset and their method of communication may be dangerous

Person is upset and their method of communication is inappropriate

Person has lost the ability to take responsibility for themselves

Person is upset and finding it difficult to

communicate

Person is upset and able to communicate

Make the situation safe

Help the person meet their needs

Get help from others

Help from peer support

DeDeDeDe----EscalationEscalationEscalationEscalation

Sometimes we face a situation that is getting more unsafe, maybe leading to argument or even violence. More effective than trying to join in an argument or a violent situation is to use de-escalation. It can be very hard to keep calm and trust that de-escalation will help. There is no guarantee that it will sort it all out. But these tools have helped in many situations over the years.

Managing the environmentManaging the environmentManaging the environmentManaging the environment Keep exits clear Move other people out of they way of an incident

Managing yourselfManaging yourselfManaging yourselfManaging yourself Calm yourself down Breath slowly Speak slowly and quite quietly Keep your movements slow and deliberate

Responding to a challenging situation

Each challenging situation is different. We need to think what our best course of action is based on the information we have. Some situations require some support, some require ensuring safety. One of the things we need to learn to do is make an assessment of the situation. It is helpful, though may feel unusual, is to see the person’s feelings and their behaviour separately. However upset someone is, if they can communicate in a healthy way, we can offer listening and support. The more the behaviour means the person can not communicate with us, the more we need to focus on making the situation safe.


You may wish to compare this with the reflection exercise on the next page.


You may wish to use this to think about feelings You may wish to use this to think about feelings You may wish to use this to think about feelings You may wish to use this to think about feelings that often lead a person to act in a challenging that often lead a person to act in a challenging that often lead a person to act in a challenging that often lead a person to act in a challenging mannermannermannermanner


Remember a time when your behaviour was challenging to others, and may have been a bit over the top. Write down what was happening at the time, and what led you to be ‘challenging’.

Take a moment to step back from reliving the memory and read over the list. Write down how other people in the situation experienced your behaviour. Really try to not see the situation from your own point of view. Imagine the range of ways that people may have experienced you.

Name: Date:

Now remember a situation when you experienced someone else’s behaviour as challenging or difficult. Write down how you reacted, how you felt and what you were thinking.

Now take a step back from reliving the memory and read over the list . Remember that you do not know what the person was thinking or feeling. The same behaviour does not always come from the same motivations. Write down different things that the person may have been experiencing that would make their behaviour understandable to them.

You may wish to compare this with the reflection exercise on the previous page.

Reflection ExerciseReflection ExerciseReflection ExerciseReflection Exercise You may wish to use this to think about feelings You may wish to use this to think about feelings You may wish to use this to think about feelings You may wish to use this to think about feelings that often lead a person to act in a challenging that often lead a person to act in a challenging that often lead a person to act in a challenging that often lead a person to act in a challenging mannermannermannermanner


Name: Date:

After an incidentAfter an incidentAfter an incidentAfter an incident

Take care of yourself!

• Talk through what happened with others involved. • Share how you feel. • Think about how you responded and what you learn from reflecting

on it. • Remember that people around an incident, even if not there, can be

affected and may need time to talk it over. • Think about how to follow up. Can the person come back to the

group? Do they need to agree some behaviours before they can return?

• Is there any record that needs to be made of the incident, and does anyone need to be informed.

Responding to the personResponding to the personResponding to the personResponding to the person • Aim to for the person who is being aggressive to leave and take some

time out. • Show the person you are listening to them (use their name if you

know it). • Explain that you want the person to leave and that things can be

talked through when they have calmed down. • Give a time scale (to take an hour/a day etc. depending on how upset

they are). • Keep your words simple. • Repeat yourself rather than add detail or complication. • Look at the person occasionally - try not to stare at them. • Slow, calm persistence is what helps de-escalate. It may take a while. • If the situation remains highly charged and the person is not calming

down, explain that you are leaving. You may need to say this a couple of times before you go.

De-Escalation skills


Reflection ExerciseReflection ExerciseReflection ExerciseReflection Exercise You may wish to use this to reflect on an incident, You may wish to use this to reflect on an incident, You may wish to use this to reflect on an incident, You may wish to use this to reflect on an incident, dededede----brief your reaction, or learn from the brief your reaction, or learn from the brief your reaction, or learn from the brief your reaction, or learn from the experience.experience.experience.experience.

What reactions did I have during and after the incident?

What was the incident? (A brief description)

What things did I try? What was the result of my actions?

Having looked over the incident, what do I notice or learn?


Name: Date:




Name: Date:







Module 8

Taking care of

myself

Taking care of yourself


We need to take care of ourselves

because... As a Peer Supporter, we are also working on our own wellbeing.

If we are not meeting our own needs we can not meet the needs of

others.

If we do not model taking care of

ourselves, how can we suggest others do?

We all deserve good things and the right to be good to ourselves.

When we think about taking on the role of Peer Supporter we need to think about how we will take care of ourselves. Supporting others, helping peer groups to develop, and engaging in our own development is all demanding stuff. It will also be rewarding, fun and exciting. Just remember to plan and manage your own self care.

Wellbeing

Wellbeing is increasingly being seen as the aim of mental health services. This is a significant move away from seeing mental health as a series of symptoms and illnesses. It recognises that everybody needs to build their wellbeing. It recognises whole people with all their skills, abilities, gifts and barriers. It recognises that people need to be at the centre of services. It encourages a wider range of creative attitudes to a person’s psychological health (see the following page). This includes appropriate use of established mental health services and very much includes Peer Support. The World Health Organisation (2011) has defined Mental Health as,

“A state of Wellbeing in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.” For each of us, wellbeing will be different. We will need to plan it around our own circumstances and personality. Wellbeing is not a state of no problems or difficult times. It is a way of being that recognises our vulnerabilities and plans around them, or plans for bad times.

Be gentle with yourself: you are an enabler not a magician. We cannot change anyone else. We can only change how we relate to them and offer genuine contact. Genuine contact, just being there, is sometimes more important than doing something. Deal with others with generosity. Give encouragement to those around you. Learn to accept support, encouragement and praise from others. Remember that in the face of others’ pain we are bound to feel helpless sometimes. Do not be ashamed to admit helplessness. Change your routine and tasks to keep a healthy variety. Learn to recognise the difference between complaining that brings healing change, and complaining that reinforces negatives and stuckness. If you never say “no”, others will not say it for you. Give yourself permission to choose. At the end of each day give yourself praise for something that you have achieved. Have hobbies and life affirming activities which are not all about caring for others. Do something creative. Have a peaceful place you can visit for some quiet time.

Care for the caretaker


Connect With the people around you. With family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. At home, work, school or in your local community. Think of these as the cornerstones of your life and invest time in developing them. Building these connections will support and enrich you every day.

Be active Go for a walk or run. Step outside. Cycle. Play a game. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good. Most importantly, discover a physical activity you enjoy and that suits your level of mobility and fitness.

Five ways to wellbeing

Give Do something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and creates connections with the people around you.

Keep learning Try something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Take on a different responsibility at work. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Learning new things will make you more confident as well as being fun.

Take notice Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the unusual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are walking to work, eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experiences will help you appreciate what matters to you.

Peer Supporters need to take good care of themselves. A review of the most up-to-date evidence suggests that building the following five actions into our day-to-day lives is important for well-being. This is work done by The New Economics Foundation, www.neweconomics.org


Keep learning

Give

Chose one or two ideas that you have not tried before to try out. Give them a go.

Connect Be active

Take notice

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It can be helpful to have a plan for how to maintain and develop our own well being. Many people find it helpful to record their plan. It can help to remind yourself. It can also be something you share with people who support you so that they know what works best for you.

Planning my own wellbeing


As we are all so different , our wellbeing plans will also look very different. Our plans will work best if they reflect us. Some will be written like a diary or in lists. Some will have lots of pictures. Some will be colourful with stickers. Some will be very clean and simple. You may wish to look back at the information on learning logs (page 14) to think further about what format may work for you. Your organisation may already have a suggested format and provide help with developing your plan. There are a number of suggested formats. One of the most useful is a WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Developed by Mary Ellen Copeland and can be found on http://www.mentalhealthrecovery.com/wrap/.

What should my plan look like?

How do I know I am in a crisis? What do I need to do in a crisis? Who do I need to contact? What do I need to ask for?

How do I know when things are going wrong for me? What triggers me to become unwell? What do I need to do to take care of myself? Who do I want support from? What support do I want from others?

How do I like others to support me? What is support for me? What do I find helpful? When do I want company ?

What works well for me? What do I already do that sustains me? How do I give myself treats? What builds my emotional strength?

What strengths do I have? What am I good at? How have I got through things before? What are my skills, gifts and qualities?

What is my vision for myself? What kind of life am I constructing for myself? What are my dreams?

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How do I know I am well? When I am well, these are the things I think, feel and do...

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What can trigger me to be unwell?

How do I know when I am not well?

When I see the signs of my becoming unwell I need to...


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What I have learned is..

What I most want to remember from my experience of learning about Peer Support is...

What I want to learn more about is...


Notes




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Oxfordshire MindOxfordshire MindOxfordshire MindOxfordshire Mind 2 Kings Meadow Osney Mead Oxford OX2 0DP Tel: 01865 263730 [email protected] www.oxfordshire-mind.org.uk Registered Charity Number 261476 Company Limited by Guarantee 4343625

About Peer Support at Oxfordshire Mind

The Oxfordshire Mind Wellbeing Service provides around 60 Peer Support Group sessions per week at locations across the county.

Peer Support might simply involve talking and listening, or it may be focused around a shared activity such as music, walking, cooking, gardening or reading.

Many of these groups benefit from the involvement of trained volunteer Peer Supporters, all of whom have lived experience of mental health problems and recovery. Through drawing on their own personal experience volunteer Peer Supporters are able to help others by offering empathy, understanding and encouragement.

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