(p. 179) s tudent writing model
TRANSCRIPT
ANALYZING TEXT ELEMENTSAcademic Writing
ANALYZE TEXT STRUCTURERead this student model to analyze the elements of a summary and response.
Academic Writing Type A summary and response provides an objective overview of the topic and important details from a text and then presents the writer’s position on the issue.
A. The summary includes a topic sentence, detail sentences, and a concluding sentence.
B. The response includes a transitional sentence, a topic sentence that presents the writer’s claim, supporting details, and a final statement.
A
B
In the article “Animal Testing: Science or Shame?” author DeShawn Harris
explores solutions to the problem of animal testing. Initially, Harris notes that
animal testing helps identify effective treatments for human diseases. The
author continues to state that opponents of animal testing consider it cruel.
Additionally, he explains that animal testing can be painful and often fatal
to the animals. Harris concludes by suggesting that a middle ground might
involve researchers finding alternatives to animal testing and treating the
animals they do use more humanely.
Whether society should tolerate animal testing is a complex question.
After analyzing the evidence outlined in Harris’s article and my own personal
experiences, I support the idea that animal testing has a number of positive
impacts. One beneficial result is that it leads to cures for terrible diseases.
For example, animal testing has led to treatments for childhood cancers.
Secondly, another outcome of animal testing is that humans have to undergo
fewer harmful tests. These positive aspects lead me to believe that consumers
should support responsible and humane use of animals in scientific research.
Student Writing Model
MARK & DISCUSS ELEMENTS Mark the summary and response elements. Then discuss them with your partner.
1. Double underline the writer’s claim. The writer’s claim is .
2. Underline and label three reasons or pieces of evidence that support the writer’s position with the letter R or E. One (reason/piece of evidence) is .
3. Draw a box around four transition words or phrases.One transition (word/phrase) is . Another transition (word/phrase) is .
4. Circle four citation verbs. One citation verb that the writer uses is .
5. Star four precise topic words and check four high-utility academic words. An example of a (precise topic word/high-utility word) is .
LESSON
ANALYZE TEXT STRUCTURE Introduce the Academic Writing Type• Routine 11: Student Writing Model (p. T88)
Echo-read the academic writing type description and guide students to underline key phrases (e.g., objective overview, writer’s position): Remember that you learned how to write a summary in Issue˜2. Now you will learn how to add a response to a summary to express your position on a topic.
Read the Student Writing Model• Tell students that you will analyze a summary and
response of Text˜1 from Issue 2 to understand the elements. Have students review their Text Notes (pp.˜61, 63, and 65).
• Display and read aloud the student model using Oral Cloze and Partner Cloze.
BRIDGING (p. 54G)
EXPANDING (p. 54G)
MARK & DISCUSS ELEMENTS Teach the Elements of a Summary and Response• As you introduce each element and marking task,
assign the relevant frame and facilitate discussion. Model the process with the first task and frame by reading a model response. Have partners (A/B) take turns listening and responding.
• Ask partners (A/B) to stand and report a response with each frame. Direct students to listen attentively and mark any missed elements.
• Tell students that the writer’s position will be found in the response section. Have students double underline the writer’s claim, which is the writer’s opinion about the issue.
• Remind students that a summary communicates the most critical information, and a response gives the student’s position. Explain that reasons and evidence support the position. Have students underline three reasons or pieces of evidence.
• Explain that transitions like Initially connect the writer’s points. Have students draw a box around Initially and at least three more transition words or˜phrases.
• Review citation verbs and have students circle at least four. The verb explores lets us know the information comes from the author, not the student who is summarizing and responding.
• Point out that the writer did not copy sentences, but included precise words from the text. Have students star treatments and three more precise topic words.
• Note that the student included high-utility academic words, such as solutions. Have students check solutions and three more high-utility academic w̃ords.
BRIDGING (p. 54G)
(layer) A of dust covered the because it was too high to reach easily to clean.
Daily Do Now (p. 179)Daily Do Now
explores solutions to the problem of animal testing. Initially, Harris notes that
animal testing helps identify effective treatments for human diseases. The
involve researchers finding alternatives to animal testing and treating the
experiences, I support the idea that animal testing has a number of positive
Additionally, he explains that animal testing can be painful and often fatal
Rimpacts. One beneficial result is that it leads to cures for terrible diseases. Rimpacts. One beneficial result is that it leads to cures for terrible diseases.
RSecondly, another outcome of animal testing is that humans have to undergo RSecondly, another outcome of animal testing is that humans have to undergo
E For example, animal testing has led to treatments for childhood cancers.
E For example, animal testing has led to treatments for childhood cancers. For example, animal testing has led to treatments for childhood cancers.
explores solutions to the problem of animal testing. Initially, Harris notes that
For example, animal testing has led to treatments for childhood cancers.
Secondly, another outcome of animal testing is that humans have to undergo
explores solutions to the problem of animal testing. Initially, Harris notes that explores solutions to the problem of animal testing. Initially, Harris notes that
animal testing helps identify effective treatments for human diseases. The
involve researchers finding alternatives to animal testing and treating the
should support responsible and humane use of animals in scientific research.
Additionally, he explains that animal testing can be painful and often fatal
After analyzing the evidence outlined in Harris’s article and my own personal
Additionally, he explains that animal testing can be painful and often fatal
to the animals. Harris concludes by suggesting that a middle ground might
Secondly, another outcome of animal testing is that humans have to undergo
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FRONTLOADING LANGUAGESummary & Response
Precise Adjectives to Respond
WRITE PRECISE ADJECTIVESComplete each transitional sentence with a precise adjective from the chart above.
1. Whether retouched images in the media should come with disclaimers is
(a/an) question.
2. How cities should encourage legal graffiti is (a/an) question.
3. Whether video games harm teens is (a/an) question.
Answer each question with a transitional sentence that includes a precise adjective.
Frame: How (noun) should (verb phrase) is a (precise adjective) question.
1. Issue: How should schools protect students from cyberbullying?
Transitional Sentence:
2. Issue: How should cities reduce the amount of plastic used?
Transitional Sentence:
3. Issue: How should female athletes participate on predominantly male sports teams?
Transitional Sentence:
4. Issue: How should public schools encourage healthy food choices?
Transitional Sentence:
5. Issue: How should testing on animals be performed humanely?
Transitional Sentence:
Everyday Adjectives Precise Adjectives
good
interesting
hard
silly
untrue
fair, appropriate, worthy, timely, wise
fascinating, intriguing, thought-provoking, provocative, controversial
difficult, troubling, challenging, complex, complicated, perplexing
absurd, preposterous, ridiculous
unfounded, groundless, baseless
Guidelines for Using Precise Adjectives to RespondPrecise adjectives describe nouns vividly and make your writing more interesting. Use a precise adjective in the transitional sentence of your summary and response essay.
Teach the Language Skill• Remind students that an adjective describes a
person, place, or thing.
• Read aloud the “Guidelines for Using Precise Adjectives to Respond.” We use everyday adjectives like interesting and hard in informal settings or when talking to friends. Use precise adjectives like fascinating or troubling in your summary and response.
• Echo-read the chart. Point out that some adjectives work best to describe the writer’s response to a question. If I think an issue is important because it was recently in the news, I could say that it is a timely issue.
• Tell students they will practice selecting precise adjectives for the transitional sentence of their summary and response essay.
Practice Using Precise Adjectives• Read aloud the first practice sentence and model
how to complete it with a precise adjective. If I say that an issue is controversial, this indicates that I will take a strong position, no matter what side I’m on. My reader will expect me to present compelling reasons and convincing evidence.
• Have partners collaborate to complete the remaining two sentences.
• Direct partners (A/B) to report out to the class: We selected the precise adjective in the sentence .
Apply Skill to Academic Writing• Model how to use the frame and the chart at the top
of the page to write a transitional sentence about the issue question. I can use the precise adjective complicated to describe the word question.
• Direct students to use the chart and the frames to write transitional sentences.
• For each issue, preselect two students with strong responses to display and read aloud their sentences to the class. Then ask for partner nominations and volunteer reporters.
EXPANDING (p. 54G)
WRITE PRECISE ADJECTIVES
(foundation) Many homes have damage to their after a serious .
Daily Do Now (p. 179)
controversial
timely
absurd
How schools should protect students from cyberbullying is a complicated
How cities should reduce the amount of plastic used by residents and
How female athletes should participate on predominantly male sports
How public schools should encourage healthy food choices is an intriguing
How testing on animals should be performed humanely is a troubling
question.
businesses is a worthy question.
teams is a preposterous question.
question.
question.
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FRONTLOADING CONVENTIONS Academic Writing
Compound & Complex Sente ncesGuidelines for Writing Compound & Complex SentencesA compound sentence contains two or more independent clauses, each containing a subject and a predicate to express a complete thought. The independent clauses can be joined with these words: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so.
A complex sentence contains an independent clause and one or more dependent clauses. A dependent clause cannot stand on its own as a sentence, and it often begins with a word or phrase such as because, while, even though, since, until, or that.
Presenting Reasons Examples of Complex Sentences
One (beneficial/harmful) impact is that .
Another predictable (outcome/effect) is that .
One harmful impact is that runoff from chemically fertilized fields introduces toxins into the water supply, which poisons animals.
Another predictable effect is that growing larger crops means farmers won’t stop using fertilizers.
Presenting Evidence Examples of Compound Sentences
To illustrate, .
For instance, .
To illustrate, the smell of fertilizer is overpowering, and it can spread for miles.
For instance, natural fertilizers are useful, but they are not effective enough for every farming situation.
PRESENT REASONS & EVIDENCEWork with the teacher to write a reason and piece of evidence.
Claim: Researchers should stop using animal subjects in medical testing.
Reason: One harmful impact is that
Evidence: To illustrate,
and
Work with a partner to write a reason and piece of evidence.
Claim: Schools fund boys’ and girls’ athletic programs equally.
Reason: Another predictable effect is that
Evidence: For instance,
but
Work on your own to write a reason and piece of evidence.
Claim: Cities pass laws to prevent water waste during droughts.
Reason: I believe that
Evidence: For example,
so
LESSON
PRESENT REASONS & EVIDENCE Teach the Conventions Skill • Explain that a response can include compound
and complex sentences to help present reasons and evidence for the writer’s position. Adding a variety of compound and complex sentences to your summary and response will make it more interesting to read.
• Read aloud the “Guidelines for Writing Compound & Complex Sentences” and have students circle key information (e.g., a subject and a predicate and independent clause). Define any unfamiliar terms.
• Point out that some of the examples in the chart are complex sentences, while others are compound. Notice that the first example sentence is a complex sentence because it has one dependent clause and one independent clause. One harmful impact is that is a dependent clause; it cannot stand on its own as a sentence.
• Explain the use of commas in compound and complex sentences. Compound sentences use a comma and a conjunction. Complex sentences don’t use commas to separate the independent and dependent clauses unless confusion would result from not using a comma.
• Reread both examples of compound sentences and explain to students that a compound sentence uses a comma and a conjunction to separate its two independent clauses. The conjunction in the first example is and. What is the conjunction in the second example?
Practice Writing Sentences• Read aloud the first claim. Guide students to write a
reason using a complex sentence.
• Model how to write evidence using a compound sentence. Note that To illustrate is a transition phrase, not a dependent clause. Display and read the sample response. This is a compound sentence because “many rabbits endure weeks of eye discomfort and pain” could stand on its own as a complete sentence. The clause “then they are killed when the experiment ends” could also stand on its own. The conjunction and connects the ideas.
Apply Skill to Academic Writing• Direct partners to write a second claim with a reason
and a piece of evidence. Complete the claim with should or should not.
• Preselect partners to read their sentences to the class. For our (reason/evidence), we wrote the (compound/complex) sentence .
• Direct students to work on their own to write a third claim with a reason and evidence.
(inefficient) is an way to study.
Daily Do Now (p. 180)
the animals are not always treated well and can suffer while
many rabbits endure weeks of eye discomfort and pain,
girls have been treated as second-class athletes for too
being tested.
should
then they are killed when the experiment ends.
long.
Title IX bans discrimination based on sex in education programs,
the threat to agriculture and public safety is so severe that cities should make
17 communities in California were in danger of running out of water,
should
it illegal to waste water during a drought.
boys’ baseball programs often have better fields and equipment than girls’ softball.
city governments should be able to prevent people from wasting this vital resource.
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Summary & Response PLANNING TO WRITE
Transitions to Organize Details Examples
Initially, .
To begin with, .
The continues to .
additionally .
Finally, .
Lastly, .
To begin with, the author reports that California is experiencing a severe drought.
The author continues to describe several ways that Californians can beat the drought.
He additionally notes that Californians can take simple steps to save significant amounts of water.
Finally, Walsh notes that the drought could last a long time, so saving water now is critical.
Organize a Summary & Response
IDENTIFY TRANSITIONSReview the transitions that writers use to organize details. Then complete each sentence with an appropriate transition.
the author discusses the seriousness of California’s drought.
focus on five ways that Californians can
help overcome the drought. examines how some methods are
less effective and more expensive than others. Walsh concludes
by pointing out that the drought could threaten the water supply for years, so “there’s not a drop
to waste.”
PLAN KEY IDEAS & DETAILSState the text information to write a topic sentence.
In the article (title)
author (author’s full name) (citation verb: explores, examines)
issues surrounding (topic)
List three important details from the article using primarily your own words.
1.
2.
3.
Describe your position and write a topic sentence for the response.
After analyzing the evidence presented in (author’s last name + ’s)
article and my own experiences,
I most support as a solution for water shortages.
Prompt Write a summary and response for “5 Ways to Bust California’s Drought.”
Teach the Language Skill• Explain that transitions help the
reader follow a summary and response. After you provide basic information in the topic sentence, use transitions to add information and organize details.
• Point out the commas after introductory phrases. Use a comma after a transition if a sentence can stand on its own without the transition.
Practice Choosing Transitions• Read aloud the first sentence in the paragraph and
model how to use the chart to choose a transition. Because the writer is discussing what the author does at the beginning of the text, I’ll write Initially with a comma after it.
• Reread the sentence aloud. Have students copy the transition and read the sentence chorally.
• Ask partners to collaborate to complete the remaining three sentences.
• Direct partners (A/B) to report out to the class: We selected the transition .
BRIDGING (p. 54H)
EXPANDING (p. 54H)
IDENTIFY TRANSITIONS
Guide Note-Taking• Routine 12: Planning to
Write (p. T90) Model how to return to the text to locate and record the title, author, and topic. Have students choose a citation verb to complete the topic sentence. Then read it aloud chorally.
• Guide students to reread “5 Ways to Bust California’s Drought” one section at a time to paraphrase important text details.Detail 1: Reread the introduction and Section 1 using Oral Cloze. I decided that a key detail in this section is that five solutions can help people beat the drought. Display the important detail and have students record it in the outline.Detail 2: Direct partners to reread Section 2 using Partner Cloze, discuss important information, and agree on a detail to record. Tell students to also reference their Text Notes (p. 63).Detail 3: Have students reread Section 3 independently, reference Text Notes (p. 65), and determine an important detail. Direct partners to compare details: I decided that one important detail in this section is . Then have students record a detail.
• Tell students they will draft a topic sentence for their response paragraph. Read aloud the frame. Direct students to fill in the blanks and share their completed sentences with their partners.
BRIDGING (p. 54H)
EXPANDING (p. 54H)
PLAN KEY IDEAS & DETAILS
(conserve) is an easy way to electricity at home.
Daily Do Now (p. 180)
Initially,
“5 Ways to Bust California’s Drought,”
Bryan Walsh
examines the severe drought in California.
Even though the drought is serious, five solutions can help people beat it.
Homeowners can replace their lawns with xeriscaping and conserve water on a daily basis.
Communities can build desalinization and water recycling plants and can encourage drip irrigation.
The author continues to
Lastly,
The author also
Walsh’s previous
conservation
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WRITING A DRAFT Academic Writing
In the article
the author
solutions to the problem of
Initially, that California’s
drought is so that the state
The (author/writer) continues to
that could help California
by
(he/she) explains that desalinization
could seawater into drinkable water, but
(he/she) also notes that the process is
concludes by that
Californians conserve water by
How California should to its drought is
(a/an) question. After analyzing the evidence
in article and my own
experiences, I most support as
a solution for water shortages. One predictable is that it
will benefit For example, people can
conserve water by
A less effective approach
in the article is
because it can be For instance,
This evidence leads me
to believe that should encourage efforts to
(title)
(author’s full name) (citation verb: discusses, explores, presents)
(topic)
(author’s last name) (citation verb: notes, suggests, emphasizes)
(adjective: widespread, extreme, severe) (evidence from text)
(citation verb: report, state, point out)
(plural noun)
(verb + –ing: reducing, saving, replacing)
(transition to connect ideas)
(base verb: convert, change, purify)
(adjective: costly, impractical, problematic)
(author’s last name) (verb + –ing: suggesting, noting, reporting)
(verb + –ing: changing, turning off, showering)
(base verb: respond, react, adapt)
(adjective)
(past-tense verb: offered, outlined, detailed) (author’s last name + ’s)
(adjective) (noun)
(noun: impact, result, outcome)
(plural noun: farmers, households, communities)
(verb + –ing: using, replacing, saving)
(past-tense verb: described, discussed, explained) (noun)
(adjective: wasteful, impractical, expensive)
(example from text or personal experience)
(adjective)
(plural noun: legislators, community members, citizens)
(base verb: conserve, implement, increase)
WRITE AN ESSAYUse the frame to write a two-paragraph summary and response.
Write a Summary & ResponsePrompt Write a summary and response for “5 Ways to Bust California’s Drought.”
A
B
LESSON
WRITE AN ESSAY Introduce the Writing Assignment• Routine 13: Writing a Draft (p. T92) Read the
writing prompt aloud to clarify the assignment.
• Display the writing frame and point out key features.
• Explain the purpose of the small text in parentheses. Notice the text in parentheses. This text describes the parts of the paragraph.
Write a Summary Paragraph• Read aloud the frame for the topic sentence.
• Model how to use the notes (p. 75) to transfer the summary topic sentence for the summary to Section A of the writing frame.
• Point out that an article title is capitalized and appears in quotation marks to set it apart.
• Guide students to write detail sentences and a concluding sentence.
Write a Response Paragraph• Read the sample transitional sentence from the
writing frame and guide students to complete it. In Lesson 10, you used precise adjectives to describe the word question. Let’s select a different precise word from the chart on page 73, such as complex or timely.
• Guide students to write detail sentences using reasons and evidence to support their claim.
• Point out examples of complex sentences in the sample response frame. The sentence beginning One predictable is a complex sentence. The dependent clause ends with the word that. The sentence requires an independent clause after that to be complete.
Read the Summary and Response• Read aloud the sample draft of a summary and
response and model how to replace everyday words using the precise synonyms from the word banks (pp. 61, 63, 65). We can use the precise words we identified earlier to make our summary and responses stronger.
Write a Draft• Provide time for students to write their own summary
and responses on a computer or sheet of paper.
• Direct partners (A/B) to take turns reading their summary and responses. Then guide them to identify everyday words and replace them with p recise words.
BRIDGING (p. 54H)
EXPANDING (p. 54H)
(agricultural) Some of California’s products include .
Daily Do Now (p. 180)
“5 Ways to Bust California’s Drought,”
Bryan Walsh discusses
California’s severe drought.
reducing water waste and changing the ways that they use water.
replacing old irrigation systems with more efficient drip irrigation
drinking.
conserve fresh water rather than recycle it or convert seawater.
suggestsWalsh
extreme
Additionally, he
he
Walsh pointing out
changing their cleaning habits at home.
react
a
outcome
timely
described
impractical.
significant
legislators
recycled water requires many steps to clean even though it often will not be used for
recycling water
communities.
Walsh’s
personal conservation
provided
costly.
convert
individuals and communities
author state
might run out of water.
systems.
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ASSESSING & REVISINGSummary & Response
Rate Your Summary & ResponseASSESS YOUR DRAFTRate your summary and response. Then have a partner rate it.
1. Does the summary topic sentence state the text type, title, author, and topic?Self ① ② ③ ④
Partner ① ② ③ ④
2. Did you paraphrase the most important details from the text?Self ① ② ③ ④
Partner ① ② ③ ④
3. Did you use transitions to introduce reasons or evidence? Self ① ② ③ ④
Partner ① ② ③ ④
4. Does your response clearly present your position?Self ① ② ③ ④
Partner ① ② ③ ④
5. Does your response include strong reasons and evidence?Self ① ② ③ ④
Partner ① ② ③ ④
6. Did you include precise topic words and high-utility academic words?Self ① ② ③ ④
Partner ① ② ③ ④
7. Did you conclude with a strong final statement that restates your position?Self ① ② ③ ④
Partner ① ② ③ ④
Scoring Guide① Insufficient② Developing③ Sufficient④ Exemplary
CHECK & EDITUse this checklist to proofread and edit your summary and response.
□ Did you capitalize the title of the article and proper nouns?
□ Did you use commas appropriately with transitions to organize details?
□ Do present-tense citation verbs end in –s?
□ Is each sentence complete?
□ Are all words spelled correctly?
REFLECT & REVISERecord specific priorities and suggestions to help you and your partner revise.
(Partner) Positive Feedback: I appreciate how you (used/included/explained)
(Partner) Suggestion: As you revise your summary and response, focus on (including/
improving/explaining)
(Self) Priority 1: My summary and response needs to (include/develop/explain)
(Self) Priority 2: I plan to improve my summary and response by (adding/revising/
checking)
LESSON 13 13
Self- and Peer Assess Summary and Responses • Routine 14: Peer Feedback (p. T94) If students
wrote their essays electronically, have them print their drafts. Review elements of a summary and response ( p. 72 ) and have students mark them in their drafts.
• Review the Scoring Guide criteria and what constitutes a score of 1–4.
• Distribute the Student Writing Sample: Summaryand Response and read it using Oral Cloze . Guide students in using the Scoring Guide to rate each element.
• Have students silently read their summary and responses and circle ratings to self-assess.
• Direct partners to exchange books, read their partners’ essays, and circle ratings in their partners’ books.
BRIDGING (p. 54H)
EXPANDING (p. 54H)
ASSESS YOUR DRAFT
Discuss Feedback • Remind partners to give positive feedback before
making a suggestion for revision.
• Model how to give feedback. You might say, “I appreciate how you used transition words to organize details. As you revise your summary and response, focus on including more precise adjectives to respond. Do you have any questions?”
• Guide students to use frames to write positive feedback and a suggestion in their partners’ books.
• Have pairs return books and have partners clarify feedback using frames: Could you explain what you mean by ? So what you’re saying is that .
• Allow students to revise their summary and responses, focusing on areas with the lowest ratings.
REFLECT & REVISE
Complete a Proofreading Checklist • Ask students to review the checklist and reread their
summary and responses to proofread and edit.
Write a Final Draft • Support students as they revise their drafts. Have
students publish their work through a school blog or website. Encourage ongoing interaction and collaboration.
• Score student essays using the Summary &Response Writing Rubric and provide feedback for students to review.
BRIDGING (p. 54H)
EXPANDING (p. 54H)
CHECK & EDIT
(climate) has a warm .
Daily Do Now (p. 180)
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