Painting with Words

Using “Brushstrokes” to Make our Writing Better

What does it mean to paint with words?

When you read, you visualize what the author is saying.

When you write, you must give your reader enough vivid details so they can visualize your story.

You can do this in many ways, but one strategy is to use what we call “brushstrokes.”

Brushstrokes are techniques that evoke some sort of image for your reader.

Brushstroke One

Before: The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

After: Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling their cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

What does the brushstroke add to the image?

Another Example…

Flying through the air on the wings of a dream, the Olympic long jumper thrust the weight of his whole body forward.

What does the brushstroke add to the image?

What do you notice about the structure and form of this brushstroke?

-ing verb • Hissing their forked red tongues

• Coiling their cold bodies

• Flying through the air

These evoke action—your words come alive! When you have just one you create a rapid

movement. When you have more than one you add detail

at a slower pace.

Some Examples:

The ape relaxed in the straw.Stretching its arms out and extending its legs into the air, the ape relaxed in the straw.

Burning rubber, the race car peeled out.

Now You Try!

Official Name of this Brushstroke?

Participle

Brushstroke Two

Close Your Eyes

Imagine the following sentence:• A mountain climber edged along the cliff.

Now change what you’re picturing in your head as I change the sentence.• The mountain climber edged along the cliff,

hands shaking and knees trembling.

• Hands shaking and knees trembling, the mountain climber edged along the cliff.

What was that like for you?

Brushstroke TwoThe cat climbed the tree.

Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat climbed the tree.

The diver peered at the animal.

Mind racing, anxiety overtaking, the diver peered once more at the animal.

What do you notice about the structure and form of this brushstroke?

Noun + -ing or –ed verb

• Claws digging

• Feet kicking

• Mind racing

• Anxiety overtaking

• Hands bloodstained, the murderer went to prison.

Provides quick details that describe the subject.

Now you try!

Official Name for This Brushstroke?

Absolute

Brushstroke Three

The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.

The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle eggs.

The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake shorelines in search of food, enjoys eating turtle eggs.

What does the brushstroke add to the image?

The volcano spewed forth lava and ash across the mountains.

The volcano, a ravenous God of fire, spewed forth lava and ash across the mountains.

What does the brushstroke add to the image?

Form and Structure

A word or phrase that comes in the middle of a sentence

Has a comma before and after• The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle

eggs.

• The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake shorelines, enjoys eating turtle eggs.

This adds detail to evoke an image in your reader’s head.

Official Name for This Brushstroke?

Appositive

Brushstroke Four

When a teacher tells you to “be more descriptive,” what do you add to your writing?

Adjectives?

Like this?

• The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged the intruder.

What if there was a new rule? You can’t string more than three adjectives together.

Before: The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged the intruder.

Leave the first adjective where it is and shift the other adjectives after the noun.

After: The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the intruder.

The large red-eyed , angry

bull moose charged the intruder.

,

and

Another Example

The smiling, old, wrinkled woman looked upon her grandson with pride.

The smiling woman, old and wrinkled, looked upon her grandson with pride.

Structure and Form

Adjective Noun, Adjective and Adjective,

The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry,

Official Name of this Brushstroke?

Adjectives Shifted Out of Order

Brushstroke Five

Is The Verb Active?

The student danced.

The student is a dancer.

The student hid.

The students were hidden.

Before: The gravel road was on the left side of the barn.

After: The gravel road curled around the left side of the barn.

Compare & Contrast the Following:

Rockwell was a beautiful lake. Canada geese could be heard across the water bugling like tuneless trumpets. Near the shore, two children were hidden behind a massive maple tree. Watching quietly, they hoped to see the first gosling begin to hatch. Tiny giggles escaped their whispers of excitement.

Rockwell lake echoed with the sounds of Canada geese. Their honking bugled across the water like tuneless trumpets. Two children hid behind a massive maple tree. They silently watched, hoping to see the first gosling hatch. Tiny giggles escaped their whispers of excitement.

Form and Structure

Active Verbs are verbs that can be “acted out.” These do not include any form of the verb “to

be”• Is

• Was

• Am

• Are

• Were

• Etc.

How does this brushstroke create an image?

This brushstroke creates action!