Copyright © 2008, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, D.C. 0846

Secretariat of Pro-Life Activities United States Conference of Catholic Bishops 3211 Fourth Street, N.E. • Washington, DC 20017-1194Tel: (202) 541-3070 • Fax: (202) 541-3054Website: www.usccb.org/prolife

abortion, where the abortion occurredagainst his wishes or he didn’t know aboutit until afterwards (Rue, Coyle, &Coleman, 2007).

Research evidence suggests that men aremore likely to feel despair after a pregnan-cy loss, including a pervasive sense of hope-lessness, one of the signs of chronic grief(Stinson et al., 1992). It is apparent thatmen’s lives contain greater attachments andare more profoundly affected by father-hood than has usually been assumed.

Risks to Masculinity & Relationships

Contemporary reliance on abortion as a“contraceptive back-up” may in fact bepromoting male detachment, desertion andirresponsibility. According to Morabito(1991), abortion can actually encouragesexual exploitation of women. In this sce-nario, the male may view his partner’spregnancy as a “biological quirk correctedby abortion.”

When a male/female relationship experiences anabortion, it is likely that the following occur:

(1) a reduction in self-disclosures by bothpartners, which decreases the intimacynecessary for relationship survival;

(2) increased use of defensive communicationbehaviors (e.g., interpersonal hostility);

(3) the development of partner communica-tion apprehensiveness (fear translated intoavoidance behaviors), the erosion of trust,and the evolution into a closed system ofinteraction as opposed to an open anddynamic one;

(4) a loss of spiritual connectedness to Godand to one’s partner with the advent ofguilt, shame and isolation.

There is a considerable price for both men andwomen when men feel they cannot talk abouttheir experience of a partner’s abortion.

One of the sad realities of abortion is how car-ing men, who try not to hurt the women theylove, in fact hurt them by saying nothing whenabortion is first mentioned in the crisis decisionmaking process. Wanting to please, these menare rejected because they were judged deficientin true love for their partners.

Conclusion

Abortion leaves indelible footprints in thetexture of masculinity, in the recesses of aman’s heart, and in his reproductive histo-ry. A father is a father forever, even of adead unborn child. In the aftermath ofabortion, the real choice for men iswhether to accept this biological reality,grieve the loss and seek forgiveness, or tocontinue denying what is inwardly knownand swell the ranks of the hollowed men.Irrespective of the law, both man andwoman co-created the pregnancy, and bothwill live with the aftermath, regardless ofhow some may try to celebrate “choice.”

Vincent Rue, Ph.D. is co-director of the Institutefor Pregnancy Loss, Jacksonville, Florida. He isa practicing psychotherapist, researcher, lectur-er, and author of a book and numerous articlesin professional journals on post-abortion trau-ma, for which he provided the first clinical evi-dence in 1981.

The full-length version of this article is posted athttp://www.usccb.org/prolife/programs/rlp/rue.pdf.

abortion decision irrelevant. In PlannedParenthood of Missouri v. Danforth (1976),the Court dismissed the validity of a hus-band’s involvement in his wife’s decision.No state allows a husband to be informedof his wife’s impending abortion.

Emerging Awareness

Growing interest in how abortion impactsindividuals, their relationships and familiesis evident today. The first-ever conferenceon men and abortion took place in 2007,34 years after the Supreme Court legalizedabortion. Since then, media reports high-lighting various aspects of this subject haveappeared in the Los Angeles Times, TheNation and other publications.

His Abortion Experience

Men’s responses to abortion are varied, likemen themselves. How abortion impactsmen is complicated by the decision-makingthat precedes the abortion.

For men who pressure or encourage thewomen they care about to have an abor-tion, troublesome feelings can emerge lateron. In Evangelium Vitae, Pope John Paul IImade it clear that by leaving her alone toface the problems of pregnancy, he indirect-ly encourages such a decision on her partto abort (no. 59).

In a national web-based study of 135 menwho have experienced an abortion, 48% of

men stated that they opposed their part-ner’s abortion and 69% reported moderateto very high stress following the abortion(Rue, Coyle, & Coleman, 2007).

What Does The Research Show?

While there is much we don’t know aboutmen and abortion, there are some 28 stud-ies on men’s reactions to abortion that areinformative. In one study, most men feltoverwhelmed, with many experiencing dis-turbing thoughts of the abortion (Shostak& McLouth, 1984). Research evidence sug-gests that men are also less comfortableexpressing vulnerable feelings of grief andloss, instead either saying nothing orbecoming hostile. And of course, becauseno abortion occurs in a relational vacuum,the consequences of these two factors haveconsiderable implications for men’s rela-tionships with women.

In a review of how abortion impacts rela-tionships, Coleman, Rue & Spence (2007a)reported: (1) men tend to exert greater con-trol over the expression of painful emo-tions, intellectualize grief, and cope alone;(2) men are also inclined to identify their

primary role as a supporter for their part-ners, even after an abortion, and even ifthey opposed the decision; (3) men weremore likely to experience feelings of despairlong after the abortion than women; and(4) men are more at risk for experiencingchronic grief.

The best evidence indicates that a mini-mum of 10-30% of women who undergoan abortion report pronounced and/or pro-longed psychological difficulties attributa-ble to the abortion. These adverse psycho-logical outcomes include guilt, anxiety,depression, sleep disturbance, relationshipproblems, substance abuse, symptoms ofpost-traumatic stress, and increased risk ofsuicide. Male responses to a partner’s abor-tion include grief, guilt, depression, anxiety,feelings of repressed emotions, helpless-ness/voicelessness/powerlessness, post-trau-matic stress, anger and relationship prob-lems (Coyle, 2007).

Psychological injury in men following abor-tion is likely underestimated due to men’spropensity to avoid self-disclosure.Preliminary findings in a new study foundfour out of ten men experienced chronicpost-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)symptoms, occurring on average 15 yearsafter the abortion. Certain factors predictwhether men are more likely to experienceabortion as traumatic: where the pregnancywas desired by them or their partner, wheresomeone else pressured their partner into

We are the hollow menWe are the stuffed men . . .

Our dried voices, whenWe whisper together

Are quiet and meaningless . . .Remember us—if at all—not as lost

Violent souls, but onlyAs the hollow menThe stuffed men.

T.S. Eliot, “The Hollow Men” (1925)

Abortion has become a personal and socialeraser of choice for our unwanted, ill-timed,and “defective” offspring. With mainstreammental health professional associationsencouraging this procedure by advising thatit is psychologically safe, women and menhave embraced abortion as a stress reliever.Yet the evidence is mounting that abortioncarries serious and significant mental healthrisks for many women.

What about the impact of abortion on men?With some 45 million abortions in the U.S.since 1973, this is not a rhetorical question.The sheer numbers represent a potentialmental health shockwave of personal andrelational injury.

More than anything else, the U.S. SupremeCourt has shaped the role of men in abor-tion. The Court has held that a woman’sright not to procreate trumps a man’s rightto procreate, making his involvement in the