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IssueNo.9

internet on paper

Issueno.9|6.26.11

IssueNo.9

DOODLES?

f a

NOTES?

PAPER AND TWINE

a|thispageb|10items:WholeFoodsv.TraderJoe’sc |10items:continuedd|powwowsandpretendingdumb‐continuede|thedirtyveganf |doodles?notes?

igotablog | vegansdontbite | paperandtwine .tumblr.com

Ob-scu-rant-ism |әbˈskyoŏrәnˌtizәm; äb-; ˌäbskyәˈran-| Noun The practice of deliberately preventing the facts or full details of something from becoming known. DERIVATIVES obscurant |ˈäbskyәrәnt| |ˈɑbskjәrәnt| noun & adjective obscurantist |әbˈskjʊrәntәst| |ɑbˈskjʊrәntәst| |ˈɑbskjәˈrøntәst| noun & adjective ORIGIN mid 19th cent.: from earlier obscurant, denoting a person who obscures something, via German from Latin obscurant- ‘making dark,’ from the verb obscurare .

IFYOUREADTHISILOVEYOU,FUCKMEI’LLLOVEYOUFOREVER.HA!LULZINDEED.

Issueno.9|6.26.11

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AfriendandIhadaconversationaboutgroceryshoppingandbuyingfoodsthataren’tmadewithGMOproducts(GeneticallyModifiedOrganism).Ofcoursewhenpossibleyoushouldalwaysbuylocalanddirectbutsometimeourlocalproducersdon’tcarrytheexactitemswe’relookingforortheyjustmaynotbeinseason.Thisiswhenwerelyonconventionalmarkets,andthisiswhereourargumentorratherdiscussionstarted.MaybeI’malittlebiasedbecauseIdidworkatWholeFoods(orasmostofyouseemtocallitWholePaycheck)atonepoint,evenbeforethenitwaswhereIwouldalwaysshopbecauseIknewIcouldfinditemstherethatfitinwithmydietaryhabitsandIcouldalwaysfindsomethingnewtotryorlearnabout.TraderJoe’sI’vebeentoafewtimes,onehandsworthmaybe,theyhaveaniceselectionofitemsatadecentpricetoo.Therootofthisdiscussionisprice,peoplebelievethatinorderforyoutoleavewithenoughfoodfromWholeFoodsyouneedtospendalotofmoneyand“alotofmoney”variesfrompersontoperson.PeoplehavesaidthatTraderJoe’shasanicelysetmedianpricethatmostpeoplecanaffordfrombigbrandtotheirowntrademarkedproducts.WhenI’mshoppingatWholeFoods,themajorityofwhatIbuyistheir365brand,whichhasorganicandpesticide/hormonefreeconventionalitemsaswellandthequalityhasneverdisappointedme.Ican’tsaythesameforTJ.ThelasttimeIwenttoTrader’sIboughtaboxofplainTraderJoecheerios,tookthemhome,pouredabowl,andfoundarockinthecereal.AnothertimeIboughtsomecucumberstheyhadpre‐packedandtheskinswerejustcoveredinwax,whichisthelastthingIwanttotastewhileeatingproduce.Anotherincidentactuallyhappenedduringthischallenge;intheTJstrawberrypreservessheboughtIgottothebottomofthejarandfoundthetopleafypartofthestrawberry.Sureit’scooltoknowthatmycerealactualcontainsgrainsandmineralssoyouputarockinthere,oryouwanttoletusknowyourorganicstrawberryjamissoorganicthatyoudon’tevenbothertotakethestemoff,Ijustthinkit’shorriblequalitystandards.I’veneverhadthatkindofproblemwithanyofthe365brands,andthat’sthereasonwhyIdon’tgotoTJ’smuch.ButthischallengecouldbetheredemptionforTraderJoe’stomakeamarkonme.Itdidn’t.ThatisjustmyopinionbasedontheactualinstancesI’veencountered.HereisthedatafromourWFv.TJ10ItemChallenge.TraderJoe’sontheLeft,WholeFoodsontheRight

10 Items – Whole Foods v. Trader Joe’s

Runningfromadorationisonething.Ignoringitaltogetherissomethingcompletelydifferent.Whenyourunfromlove,youfindyourselfconstantlygettingfartherfromanysourceofit.Iflovewasasinglebeinganditwasstandingbythelake,youcanruntowardsthecabin.Getawayfromit.Ifthereisloveatthecabin,youcangotoyourcarorafuckinggrocerystore.Whenthereislove,youmoveawayfromit,youavoidit.

StoryByJohnCardosocontinuedinissueno.10orreadthisandothersatrawspine.tumblr.com

“The Dirty Vegan”

Thisisn’taboutahippie,butaboutasandwich.Oneofthedifficultthingsaboutbeingveganisfindingfoodsoldtothemasspublicthatisfreeofanimalproducts.Fastfoodplacesareoutoftheoption(formeanyway),Itrynottoeatatnon‐veganrestaurantsasmuchaspossiblecauseit’sjustapainintheasstryingtofigureoutsubstitutionsandputtingfaithinthecookstafftoproperlyprepareitassuch.ButonthoseoccasionswhenI’moutandneedsomethingquickandrelativelyhealthytoeatIgotothehouseJaredbuilt,Subway.Theyhaveasandwichthatisprettysafeforthemostpartespeciallyifyoufollowthese2ruleswhenyouorderaVeggieDeliteorTheDirtyVegan:

1. Gowhenit’snotbusy:Ifyougoduringnon‐peakhoursthe“SandwichArtist”willbeabletobetterprepareyoursandwichbyusingfreshglovesthathaven’tjusthandledmeat,cheese,orthebathroomtrash.

2. Askthemiftheycouldwipetheknife:Theknifethattheyslicethesubwithsitsinabucketofice‐water,alongwithremnantsofeachsandwichtheknifehascut(tunaw/mayo,meatballsubs,roastbeef).

Onceyouhavedonethat(andofcoursedon’tgetthehoneyoatbread)yoursandwichisprettymuchvegan.Iusuallygetwheatwitheverythingbutolives,extrajalapenosandredonionsw/onestripeofDijonmustard,sweetonion,andredwinevinegar.Thenonceit’swrapped,Itakethatandconsume.Ofcoursedon’tforgetyoucantipyoursandwichmakertoo,mostSubway’shavetipjarsnow.Enjoy!

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“Idon’tthinkthatwe’renecessarilyafraidofbeinginlove.Ithinkweknowthatit’smoresothefactweshouldn’tneedtofindalover.Weshouldn’tneedtohavetohaveallthestressandcomplicationsofarelationship.Imean,it’snotthatI’mafraidtolovesomeone.It’sjust…unnecessary.”Hefeltalmostawkwardsayingthis.Hefeltsickened.Hefeltscummyandtrashy.Hewastellingabeautifulwomanthatfindinglovewaspointless.Love,perhapsoneofthemanythingswomenlongforthemost.Whatpeoplelongforthemost:findingyourotherhalf.Whoweretheykidding?Anyone?Themselves,perhaps?“Youknow,”shesaidcalmly,“thereisadifferencebetweenthemandus,Isuppose.”“What’sthat?”“Theyactuallystartedtofallinlove,”shelookedathimintheeye,“We’rejustdriedup.We’reallwornout.”Hethoughtitover.Driedup.Wornout.Itwascertainlypossible.Theirlovespongehadoncereachedit’scapacityandaftersittingoutinahotsun,itdriedoutandwasneverthesameagain.“Maybeweare,”herebutted“Maybewe’velosttheneedtofeelthatconnectiontosomeone,becausewe’vefeltitbefore,anditrippedustoshreds.Andputtingyourselfbacktogetherbitbybitisalotofwork.Whyhaveitshreddedtopiecesalloveragain?”“Becausewhatifwereallyaredesignedtofallinlove?”“Ofcourseweare.We’rehumans.”“Thenmaybeweshouldgobacktowantingtoloveagain.”“Doyouwanttoloveme?”heaskedraisingabrowonceagain.Shetoldhimshedidn’t.Shecould,butshedidn’twantto.Shethoughtperhapsshejustwantedtolovesomeone.Anyone.Whoeverwasmeanttobelovedbyher,andshelovedbyhim.“Ithinkwe’refoolingourselveswiththeserendezvous,”hertonewasgrowingmorelonging.Itwaslongingsomethingmoreconcreteandreal.“Ithinkwe’refoolingourselvesnomatterwhatwedo,that’sthehumancondition.We’realljustgoingaroundtryingtofindtheotherhalfofourapple,andwhenwefindthemwejustspitouttheseedsbecauseyou’vegottentotheircore,andwhenwecantfindtheotherhalfofourapplewe’llpayouttheasstohavetheotherhalftomakeawholeapple.”Shegiggledalittlebitandamorecontenttonecamebacktohervoice,“Youandyourmetaphors.IthinkIcouldloveyou,you’restrangeenoughtomakemeinsane,”shesaidjokingly,“Butreally,Ithinkwe’rejusthavingpowwowsandpretendingdumb.”“Powwowsandpretendingdumb,”helookedattheceiling,“ofcourse.”Threeweekspassed.Fourweeks.Fiveweeks.Nocall.Notexts.Nosignofher,andnotthathewantedtogetaholdofher.Hefeltastrangepressurebetweenthemthelasttimetheymet.Anauraformedaroundthemthatglowedsobrightly,radiatingtheirdimwitteddenial,thathealmostfelttheirtiesseveraltogether.Theyhadbothrealized,althoughhedidn’twanttoadmitit,thattheyweredenyinganintricatepartofthehumanemotion.Theyhadbeenlivinginastateofcarelesslust,afraidtoadmitthattheyarepeopleofemotionandpassion,andasmuchastheyhatetogiveintotheirfearoffallingapart,theywillultimatelyneedtofindlove,whateverrockorcreviceitmaybehidingin,around,orunder.continuedonpageE

Pow Wows and Pretending Dumb - continued Whole Foods Trader Joe's

Org Mxd Veg Soup - $1.99 - 14.5 oz Lentil $1.99 - 14.5 oz

Garlic Hummus - $2.29 - 8oz Smooth $2.99 - 10oz

Strawberry Jelly - $2.50 - 10oz $2.99 - 15.2oz

Tortilla Chips - $2.69 - 16oz Sweet Potatoes - $1.99 - 7oz

Hemp Milk - $3.69 -32oz Almond Milk - $1.99 - 32oz

Crunchy Peanut Butter - $1.79 - 18oz Creamy - $1.79 - 16oz

Org Mixed Greens - $1.99 - 4oz Org Spinach - $1.99 - 6oz

Org Fair Trade Bananas - $2.39 – 6 @ .89/lb Org - $.29 - 1

Org Orange - $1.22 – 1 @ 1.69/lb Conventional - $.69 - 1

Org Fuji Apple - $1.21 – 1 @ 1.99/lb Org Braeburn - $.69 - 1

Rudi’s Org Wheat Bread - $5.99 - 22oz Ezekiel 4:9 - $2.99 - 24oz

Attheendofourchallengeshedidspendless(notbymuch)togetthesameorsimilaritems.ButthequalityinafewoftheTJproductsdidn’tseemaswellproducedastheWFproducts.ThetwoitemsfromTraderJoe’sthatIdidn’tlikeweretheCreamyPeanutButter(StoreBrand)itwasveryrunnyandmessy.Icheckedtheingredientslisttoseeiftheyaddedextraoiltothebatchbutit’sjustroastedpeanuts.TheWholeFoodsbrandPeanutButterissmoothbutitstillhasmouthtextureandstaysonyourknife,unliketheTJbrandthatisjustliquidconsistency(CrunchywaspurchasedinthischallengebutIhavehadthecreamynumeroustimes).TheothercomplaintIhave,(I’mjustknitpickingatthispoint)isthatinthebottomoftheTJStrawberryPreserves,therewasastempieceofthestrawberry.Whichisn’tthatbigofaproblem,butagainI’mjustcomparingquality.TheWholeFoodsbrandpreservescontainedfruittoobutnoneofthecoreorstembits.Bothplacesofferlocallygrown,non‐GMO,non‐artificialflavored/coloredoptions.Andthat’smyfavoritethingaboutbothstoresisthatwhateverIgrabofftheirshelfwon’tcontainsciencelabgreenbeansorpesticides.Italljustcomesdowntoamatterofpreference,and/orconvenience–reallyitdoesn’tmatter,thiswaspurelyforconversation.ButfuckQFCamIright?

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