Parenting Roles, Rewards

Parenting Roles, Rewards

… and Responsibilities

Roles and Relationships• The parental role is the most significant

role in the lives of children. A parent not only provides the essential of life such as food, clothing, shelter and safety but also has a nurturing role that meets the child’s need for love, belonging, and attachment, as well as self-esteem and self actualization.

Roles and Relationships• Parents, as the

child’s first and most important teachers, shape the child’s identity as the model many different roles:

• How to interact with adults

• How to manage the economics of the family

• How to communicate

• How to show love and affection

• How to solve problems and manage everyday life situations

What is it like to be a parent?

• Parents are responsible for encouraging a child’s physical, intellectual, emotional and social growth. They do this by providing:– Nutritious food– Encouragement– Love and Security– Safety and Comfort– Spiritual and Moral Guidance, etc.

This is a lot of responsibility!!!

• Remember: You do not need a license to become a parent. Some people may come by it naturally and some must learn but children have NO CHOICE in the matter of who their parents are or what kind of parents they have.

• In a sense, children come into this world taking a chance on the people who gave them their start in life. A good beginning for any child is to be wanted and loved.

This is a lot of responsibility!!!

REWARDS of PARENTING

1. Sense of achievement as the child develops through various stages.– Proud to see child take first steps– Content when preschooler sleeps after a day of

activities.

2. Opportunity for learning– How to make the home safe?– How to evaluate a childcare program?– How to buy a bicycle?– How to answer questions like “Why is the sky blue”

REWARDS of PARENTING

3. Enjoy childhood and capture the sense of joy and spontaneity that children express.– Build a tower of blocks– Swing on swings– Play in the snow

4. Provides new depths of emotions for many parents. May be surprised by:– Intensity of love for their child– Instinctive desire to protect a child from danger– Compassion for a child who is sick– Satisfaction when child has attained certain goals.

REWARDS of PARENTING

• Many parents say that their children have given their lives new purpose and meaning. They have a new and important long-term goal—to nurture and guide their children so they are able to reach their fullest potential.

The Truth about Parenting

TRUE or FALSE• Children are sweet and lovable

– FALSE: Children can be stubborn and unhappy. They scream, cry, and have temper tantrums. They say no and misbehave. They can be messy and are unable to pick up after themselves. They spit up and soil their diapers. Caring for children can be frustrating and tiring. Parents and caregivers must have plenty of patience and a sense of humor to get through these times.

The Truth about Parenting

TRUE or FALSE• Children can strengthen a marriage

– FALSE: The added responsibility and demands of caring for a baby can create new problems in a relationships. The addition of a child brings about many changes, which can cause further conflicts that never existed before. Couples should first solve the existing problems in their relationship before having a child.

The Truth about Parenting

TRUE or FALSE• Children provide companionship and love

– FALSE: Babies cannot cure loneliness and unhappiness. Babies need to receive a great deal of care in the first months—a time when they do not know how to return that love. Demands of caring for a baby can actually isolate parents. They may no longer be able to go out with friends because of child care responsibilities. Children grow up quickly and make their own friends and have their own interests.

The Truth about Parenting

TRUE or FALSE• Children do not cost much money

– FALSE: Children need food, clothing and shelter. Parents are responsible for meeting their children’s needs. As children grow up their needs increase. The costs of satisfying these needs also increase. The total cost of raising a child for 18 or more years is tremendous

Parenthood has joys and rewards …

however …The expectations of parenting

children must be realistic. If they are not, parents will be disappointed when they realize that raising a child to adulthood is a long term commitment that has many obligations and responsibilities.

Case Study:• Marie and Ramon have been married

for over a year. However, their relationship has problems, and the couple argue constantly. Marie thinks that a baby would help pull her and Ramon together. Instead of arguing with each other, they could enjoy taking care of a cute little baby. Marie is confident that a baby would save their marriage. Do you think Marie’s ideas are realistic? Why or why not?

Responsibilities of Parenthood

1. Being a Caregiver– Meeting physical needs

• Shelter, food, clothing, rest and medical care.• Holding, feeding, carrying, putting to bed.

– Making choices that affect health and wellbeing of the child• Routines, what to eat, when to eat, when to

sleep, for how long, arranging child care when away, where and when to seek help when things go wrong.

Responsibilities of Parenthood

2. Being a Nurturer– Meeting emotional needs

• Children need LOTs and LOTS of love and know they are loved for their own special qualities.

• Help children gain a sense of security, self-esteem and self-confidence.

– Picking up, holding and cuddling, smiling, hugging, kissing, saying “I love you”

Responsibilities of Parenthood

3. Being a Teacher– Meeting intellectual needs

• Parents are the most effective teachers their children will ever have.

• Children learn by watching and listening and helping parents around the home.

• Adults help children learn by pointing out objects, explaining situations, reading books, and stressing the importance of an education.

– Teaching children how to act in various situations• Provide guidance for appropriate and inappropriate

behavior.– Establishing rules and guidelines to follow

Responsibilities of Parenthood

4. Being a Role Model– Children reflect many of the attitudes and

behaviors of their parents– Social Development

• Children first learn about getting along with other by observing how their parents interact with each other

– Parents help children develop values• Beliefs about what is right or wrong.

Responsibilities of Parenthood

5. Meeting the Financial Costs

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• Based on estimates from the economics section of Manitoba Agriculture, the cost of raising a daughter to age 18 in 2004 was an average of $166,549. For boys, the figure was slightly higher – at $166,972 – due to extra costs for food.

Source: Manitoba Agriculture, Food and Rural Initiatives

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• This does not take into account the income that parents forego if they leave the labour force to stay at home with their children.

Source: Vanier Institute of the Family

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• How much it costs to raise a child in Canada depends on many factors to do with the child's individual needs, the family's circumstances and values, and the community in which they live.

• Something as seemingly trivial as choosing disposable diapers instead of cloth diapers can raise parents' costs by more than $1,400 over a baby's first 2 ½ years.

Source: Vanier Institute of the Family

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• The figures here are based on the needs of an only child.

• Having a second child does not automatically double all of the costs. Many clothes, toys and baby equipment can be handed down from one child to the next. A big brother or sister who babysits a younger sibling can help reduce child care costs.

• On the other hand, a larger family may need a larger home and vehicle.

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• Child care is by far the single largest expenditure, estimated at just over $52,000 for twelve years of licensed day care.

• However, the amount parents actually pay for child care varies widely from family to family.

• One family, with a parent at home or an available grandparent, might spend next to nothing on child care.

• Another family may pay a private nanny much more than $52,000 over their child's early years.

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• For families who fall between these two extremes, child care costs vary according to the type of facility, the amount of time the child spends in care, and whether or not the family qualifies for a subsidy (government funds).

• Supporting a child with health problems can add to a family's expenses. – Example: Prescriptions are not included in the health

care estimate. A significant disability would affect many, if not all, of the other expenditure categories as well.

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• Manitoba Agriculture's allowance for "recreation, reading, gifts (to others) and school needs" provides only "the basic needs for the well-being of a child."

• Recreation costs can easily double or triple for a child involved in "expensive interests, such as private music lessons, dancing or gymnastics, competitive hockey or ringette."

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• The average middle-income family with one child, two parents in the labour force, and their own house, spends about 15% of everything the parents earn to feed, clothe, house, educate and care for their son or daughter.

• If the family has two children, they spend almost a quarter of their gross family income on the children. And families with three or more children invest almost a third of before-tax income on the children.

Cost of Raising a Child to age 18

• Still, there are a few financial benefits to being a parent-particularly Revenue Canada's Child Tax Benefit and Child Care Deduction.

• Also, as children grow older, they may begin to work outside of the home and contribute to the family income.

Realities of Parenthood• While parenting brings rewards

and happiness for many parents, it may mean disappointment and sorrow for other parents. Some parents may not find the parenting role to be what they had expected it to be. For most people parenting is filled with good and bad experiences.

Realities of Parenthood• Children challenge parents to be the

best they can be. They enable parents to use the knowledge, experience, and skills they have spent a lifetime acquiring. Even though children can be demanding and challenging, the joy of watching children grow and develop can be one of life’s most satisfying experiences.

• Relationship Readiness• Social Readiness• Physical Readiness• Intellectual Readiness• Emotional Readiness• Financial Readiness

1. Relationship• Couples need time together to develop a

meaningful relationship before they are ready to have children.

• They need to be sure of their commitment before they have children.

• Stability. – Having children strengthens stable

relationships.– Having a baby makes a weak

relationship weaker.

2. Socially

• Your social life will change.• Your child needs to be with you

at all times or pay for child care.• You will not have as much free

time.

Have Good Health

No alcohol,

tobacco,

or drugs.

Eat nutritiously

Exercise

23 – 30 years old is the prime

time for mothers to be pregnant.

4. Intellectually• Understand the

responsibilities and commitments of parenthood.

• Know the principles of child guidance.

• Understand child development.

• It is a lifelong commitment.

5. Emotionally• You will need to be flexible with your

time.• You will need to be able to function

with interrupted sleep patterns.• You will need to be patient.• You will need to share your money,

resources and time with your child.• You’ll need to be able to deal with

the frustrations of a crying child.

6. Financially• Financially stable• Initial expenses

– Doctor– Hospital– Baby Food– Diapers– Car Seat– Furniture

• To raise a child to the age of eighteen, it will cost as much as

$170,000.

“If you have

money problems, you have marriage

problems!”

The EndThe End

16 and ready to be a parent??

• 16 and Pregnant Episode 1 Season 2

Assignment: Help Wanted Ad

• Create a “Help Wanted” advertisement to fill the job of “parent” to a child.

• Include things like: Job Description– Necessary Skills– Education Required– Time Commitments– Salary & Benefits– Contact Information

• BE CREATIVE!!!!!