As a parent, trying to make your child's sport experience the best it can be is a challenge, I'm sure. Today I'm bringing some thoughts from a coach and player's

perspective on how to be a positive sports parent-- to support your athlete and help them get the most out of

their experience. Showing your love and support will also help strengthen your relationship with your son or

daughter.

I'm guessing that most parents want to do everything they can to help their child. Sometimes parents are limited by

work and other time constraints, or maybe they just don't like sports. However, going the extra mile to support your child can help strengthen the relationship your have with

your son or daughter. Even if they don't show it right away, it will be meaningful and your teen will recognize it down

the road.

1. Show Up At Games

Attending your child's games may be a challenge if you are a single parent or work in a job that doesn't allow you much time off. However, showing up at your athlete's

games speaks volumes of your support and love.

I am blessed to have very supportive parents who were able to attend most of my games. My dad had to travel for work at times so he would sometimes miss, but I knew he

would have been there if he was in town. Looking back, this is one way that I remember tangibly seeing and feeling my parents love. Even if we didn't always have time to talk or spend time together (or if I didn't feel like hanging out with them like a typical teenager), their actions said they

loved me.

As a coach, I had kids on my team whose parents rarely showed up. I knew that it meant a lot for those players if their parents were going to be at a game one night. Some

would even get nervous. I remember one girl I coached sharing how anxious she was because "my dad is coming tonight." Even if there is divorce or separation, kids love

their parents and treasure their support. Showing up at a game goes right to the core of a kid and says "you're

important to me."

2. Compliment Your Child After Games- Don't Criticize

Sometimes it's easier to see mistakes your child makes and focus on them instead of focusing on the positive. Most

likely, your player is already being hard on themselves for any mistakes they made in the game. If you start to

question them or criticize them, they will likely push you away. Asking "what were you thinking when you made

that pass?" "Didn't you see that so-and-so was wide open?" or any similar comment can be hurtful.

If you do want to discuss the game with your child, allow time to pass before you bring it up.

Wait until at least the next day.

Remember that a lot of adrenaline, energy and emotion go into games. Practices build up all week to the games,

emotions are pumped up and there is usually excitement or a let down afterwards. Kids need time to cool off and

process on their own.

One way to support them during this cool-off period is just to say, "I'm proud of you. Let me know if you want to talk about anything, I'm always available if you want to chat." This lets your child know that you are there for them, but

you respect their space and their individual needs.

3. Support The Coach's Decisions And Authority

Now this is a touchy subject. I know there are many parents who disagree with their coach's decisions and

have a hard time supporting him or her. There are circumstances that sometimes do need to be worked out

through the proper channels.

However, in general, one of the best ways you can support and build into your athlete is to support the coach's

decisions. By allowing your student to be on the team, you have placed them under the coach's authority. Of course, you are still the final authority in their lives for now. But you can teach them incredible life lessons by supporting

the leadership of the coach.

For example, if your child is asked to play a position they are not used to playing, they may not like that. It may take extra work for them to improve in that position and they

may not get the playing time they were hoping for.

You, as the parent, can encourage the child to embrace this new role, to prove to the coach that they are willing to be a team player, and help that child succeed beyond what

they think they can.

Or, you could complain with your child, feeding the negative feelings and hindering your child's ability to play to their best ability. That brings nothing but negativity and

can make their season even worse.

When your player gets out into the real world, they will have to deal with authority in the work place. What better

way to help them succeed as an adult than to mentor them through a challenging situation as a young athlete.

Being a positive sports parent is a great blessing to coaches too. Coaches often feel the weight of critical or absent parents. It can be hard to deal with, especially

when most coaches truly want what is best for each player on their team and for the team as a whole. Attending games, complimenting your child, and supporting the coach will go a long way toward strengthening your

relationship with your child and helping them have a meaningful sports experience.

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