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Parents Place Presented by Mark Purcell, Psy.D.

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WORKSHOP OUTLINE Why kids act the way they do Causes for problem behaviors in children Collaborative Problem Solving Principles of Positive Discipline Anger Management Interventions Aggression Replacement Training (ART) Anger Management Group DBT Skills for Positive Behavior Change Validation Behavior Chain Analysis

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Why Kids Act the Way they Do Biology Heredity Temperament Cognitive Abilities/Challenges Environment Peers Family Social Support School Psychological Self-Image Self-Esteem Attachment

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Different Reasons Why Kids May Do What they Do Behavioral may be reinforced in some way Example: Tantrums to achieve desired outcome Intermitent reinforcement Emotional may have trouble managing feelings Difficulty regulating emotions Cognitive may have trouble problem solving Difficulty perceiving choices or ways to resolve conflict

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A-B-Cs of Behavior A-B-Cs of Anger A= Antecedent (What triggered the problem?) B= Behavior (What did child do?) C=Consequence (To self and others)

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Collaborative Problem Solving A more compassionate understanding and approach to behaviorally challenged kids The challenging behavior by children is due to lack of appropriate skills rather than intentional Understand the emotion/reason behind the behavior.

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Collaborative Problem Solving Why are challenging kids challenging? Kids do well if they can Doing well is always preferable to not doing well. If kids have the skills they would choose to do well.

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Collaborative Problem Solving When are Challenging Kids Challenging? When demands/expectations exceed skills Determine situations that are most challenging to child Assessment of: Lagging Skills Unsolved Problems

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Collaborative Problem Solving What behaviors challenging kids exhibit when they dont have the skills to respond adaptively to demands? They let us know through numerous behaviors that they are struggling It is more important to understand the Why and When a child engages in challenging behavior than the What s/he does.

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Collaborative Problem Solving What can be done differently Collaboratively solving the problem helps kids learn new coping strategies When adults impose will/consequences, childs frustration increases and leads to more negative behaviors.

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Collaborative Problem Solving Three Steps: 1. Empathy Step validate and understand what the child is feeling and why 2. Define the Problem entering into solve the problem with the child 3. Invitation Adult and child brainstorm solutions so as to arrive at a plan that is realistic and mutually satisfying.

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Sequence of Conflict Cycle Stressful event ACTIVATES youths irrational beliefs (Everyone hates me) Beliefs TRIGGER intense feelings Feelings DRIVE inappropriate behaviors Inappropriate behaviors INCITE others Others MIRROR negative behaviors Negative REACTION escalates conflict into self-defeating power struggle Reinforcement of SELF- FULFILLING PROPHECY Youths Self-Concept Irrational Beliefs Stressful Event Youths Feelings Youths Observable Behavior Adult/Peer Reactions

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Validation Search for, recognize and reflect to the client the validity inherent in his/her response to events. Validate Feeling Then Address Behavior Do Not Validate the Invalid 9:1 Ratio 9 Validations 1 Confrontation

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Chain Analysis Example Good mood night before Stayed up late Tired and irritable Late for School Teacher criticized Argued with teacher Bullied at Recess Hit other student Suspended

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Positive Discipline IDENTIFYING PROBLEM BEHAVIOR Identify underlying need behind behavior Identify problematic behaviors (not youth) Clarify desired behavior Reinforce positive behaviors Discover youth strengths Provide opportunities for belonging Seek mutual responsibility among youth Encourage use of I Statements

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Positive Discipline RESPONDING TO PROBLEM BEHAVIOR Set clear consistent consequences Validate youth feelings first Identify problematic behaviors Offer cooling off place not punishment Make first request for adaptive behavior Reinforce (+) or Make second request Remind youth of consequences Reinforce (+) or Implement Consequences

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Positive Discipline EFFECTIVE INTERACTIONS Ignore (-) behaviors / Attend (+) behaviors Even, calm, yet firm tone of voice Remain matter-of-fact Model 3 Rs: Recognize mistake Reconcile Resolve

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Know Yourself Learning to say No Be aware of buttons that get pushed during confrontation Be Consistent Be Non-Emotional Be Empathic

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Aggression Replacement Training (ART) Anger Control Group Outline 1. A,B,Cs of Aggressive Behavior 2. Triggers 3. Cues & Anger Reducers 4. Reminders 5. Self-Evaluation 6. Thinking Ahead 7. Angry Behavior Cycle 8. Rehearsal of Full Sequence

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A-B-Cs of Aggressive Behavior Explain nature of emotions Physical response to stimuli A-B-Cs of Anger A= Antecedent (What triggered the problem?) B= Behavior (What did you do?) C=Consequence (To self and others)

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Triggers Introduce Hassle Log Provides accurate picture of conflicts that occur during the week Helps group members learn what makes them angry Provides material for role-plays Explain Triggers External Triggers Internal Triggers Role Play Triggers

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Cues & Anger Reducers Define anger and personal cues Self-Define what anger personally feels like Identify Physiological Cues of Anger Anger Reducers Deep Breathing and Relaxation Counting backwards Positive Visualizations Role Play Triggers + Cues + Anger Reducers

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Reminders Self-Instructional Statements Used during potentially challenging or provoking situations Examples Take it Easy, Relax, Chill Out Model Use of Reminders Role Play Triggers+Cues+Anger Reducers+Reminders

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Self-Evaluation Group Members Self-Evaluate: 1. How well they handled a conflict 2. Reward themselves for handling it well 3. Find out how they could have handled it better Develop list of self-rewarding & self-coaching statements Role Play: Triggers + Cues + Anger Reducers + Reminders + Self Evaluation

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Thinking Ahead Review A-B-C Model Help members think ahead about what the C (consequence) will likely be of behavior Identify Short & Long Term consequences of being aggressive Internal & External consequences of being aggressive Role Play: Triggers + Cues + Anger Reducers + Reminders + Self Evaluation

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Review & Practice Anger Control Strategies TriggersCues Anger Reducer Reminder Self- Evaluation

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Dialectical Behavior Therapy Mindfulness Distress Tolerance Interpersonal Effectiveness Validation Behavior Chain Analysis

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States of Mind Emotional Mind Rational Mind WISEMINDWISEMIND

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States of Mind Emotional MindWise MindRational Mind Feeling - Centered Logical thinking is difficult Facts are distorted to match mood You may be impulsive or Hot Headed Emotions are in control Emotions influence and control your thinking & behavior Operate in Emo Mode Thoughts + Feelings Integrate best of emotional & rational minds Viewing situation with loving detachment Observing & responding Not Intense Reacting Not Cool Distancing Operate in Wise Mode Thought centered Emotions are ignored Focus on Facts & Logic Feelings of self & others not considered Cool and detached Operate in Robot Mode

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Distress Tolerance Skills ACCEPTS for Distraction Activity Contribute Comparison (Opposite) Emotion Thoughts Senses (Self-Sooth) Teach Radical Acceptance Pros & Cons of Target Behavior Problem Behavior ProCon Continue Change

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Validation Search for, recognize and reflect to the client the validity inherent in his/her response to events. Validate Feeling Then Address Behavior Do Not Validate the Invalid 9:1 Ratio 9 Validations 1 Confrontation

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Chain Analysis Example Good mood night before Stayed up late Tired and irritable Late for School Teacher criticized Argued with teacher Bullied at Recess Hit other student Suspended

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Creating Environment of Mutual Respect Control May provide immediate solution Necessary for Safety Decreases Self Esteem Punishment Based Provides Attention to Negative Behaviors Change Harder to implement Long term benefits Teaches Social Skills Teaches Mutuality Increases Self Esteem Attention to Positive Behaviors

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Creating an Atmosphere of Mutual Respect Encourage Mutuality Involve Youth in Group Expectations Increase Group Cohesion Maintain Safety Physical/Emotional Expectation of Respect Willingness to Negotiate Group Reinforcement: Goals & Rewards Agreed Upon Consequences