Parsh as Vayeitzei | 9 kisleV 5769 | 6 december 2008

In last week's Parsha Jacob tricked his father into believing he was Esau in order to get the blessings that Isaac gave out before his death. In this week's parsha we learn of a new scheme of Jacob's. While working for his devious father-in-law, Lavan, Jacob seems to unfairly attain extra wages.

While Jacob was shepherding Lavan's flock, he worked out a deal with Lavan that he would be entitled to any sheep that had a particular wool pattern, sometimes speckled, sometimes ringed, and sometimes spotted. In order to get more sheep Jacob would take twigs and carve onto them the designs to which he was entitled, and then put those twigs by the troughs. When the animals were in heat they would see those twigs while drinking, and the sheep born from the subsequent cohabitation would have the coat Jacob desired. That seems like a pretty devious way to get extra wages, and one you certainly wouldn't expect to see from someone classified as an ish emes, a man of truth.

But the truth is (no pun intended) that to be a pillar of a particular virtue doesn’t mean that the virtue should be used all the time. It means knowing when to use the virtue and when to hold it back. It is not the person who takes the virtue to the extreme because ex-tremism is dangerous in any character trait. Rather, it is the person who has perfect con-trol over the trait, always knowing whether to use it or hold it back, that is considered a pillar of a trait.

In describing how he faithfully guarded Lavan’s sheep, Jacob says, "These twenty years that I was with you, your ewes and she-goats never miscarried, and I did not eat any rams of your flocks. I never brought you a mutilated animal, I took the blame for it. You demanded compensation from my hand whether [an animal] was stolen from me by day or whether it was stolen from me by night. I was consumed by the burning heat by day and ice at night. My sleep was taken from my eyes." (Gen. 31:38-40) Even though other shepherds would occasionally eat a sheep of their master, or go into a hut to

protect themselves from the elements, Jacob never engaged in these practices. His watch-fulness for the sheep in his care was exem-plary. This was so even after Lavan cheated him by giving him a different daughter than the one for whom he had worked for seven years!

However, when it came to dealing with liars and miscreants who wanted to rob him of everything he deserved, Jacob knew how to withhold his integrity. Even though he bought the firstborn rights from his brother, Esau still passed himself off before his father as the firstborn in order to merit the blessings Isaac wanted to give his firstborn. Jacob fired back with a round of trickery and got what he right-ly deserved. Lavan also played games. He switched Jacob's salary terms one hundred times in an attempt to ensure that his son-in-law Jacob would leave penniless after work-ing faithfully for twenty years! Jacob pulled another trick out of his hat, and ensured that he did get his proper wages.

Jacob was the quintessential Ish Emes — he was generally extremely truthful but, when necessary, knew how to suppress his natural honesty in order to prevent the perpetration of wrong. Picture a man who comes home from a long day of work, and is greeted by a gorgeous candlelit dinner that his wife spent 5 hours preparing. If the roast tastes like earth and his wife asks, "so honey, how do you like the roast?" and he answers with a truthful "I'd much rather eat my hand," he is not a man of truth, but an insensitive ingrate!

Kindness is a virtue, but there are times we need to hold back our kindness in order to help someone grow. Discipline is a virtue, but we need to be flexible at times. Honesty is much the same. So, let us take a lesson from Jacob, and use each of our character traits with a perfect balance, using it when it's proper, and not when its not!

Parsha Perspectives | RaBB I LEIBy BuRnHam

תתן אמת ליעקב חסד לאברהם"Give truth to Jacob, kindness to Abraham" (Micha 7:20)

Of all of our forefathers, Jacob is the one classified as an "Ish Emes," a man of truth. The prophet Micha, when asking G-d to return Israel to its former state of glory, says, "give truth

to Jacob, kindness to Abraham" (Micha 7:20). In this verse, he mentions truth in connection with Jacob and kindness with Abraham, because these were their unique strong points. However, a cursory glance at this last week's and this week's Torah portions makes us wonder if Jacob is indeed the man of truth he is made out to be.

Talking Points | v a y e i t z e i R aBBI EL a z aR mEISELS

1. Got You Cornered“Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth. You shall spread to the west, to the east, to the north and to the south. Through you will be blessed all the families of the earth, and through your descendants.” 28:14Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth – This refers not to our massive num-bers, for Abraham already received that blessing. Rather, this refers to the Jewish people in a lowly state. Even in their lowly state, they will be a great force to be reckoned with and their presence will be felt throughout the four corners of the earth. – Heemek Davar (Rabbi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin)

Will be blessed…your descendants – Even while the Jewish people are in exile, the nations of the world will reflect on their unique blessing by virtue of the fact that they survived persecutions and exiles over a span of thousands of years. Had they remained safely and securely in their Land through-out, this would not appear to be a great feat. It is only thanks to their degradation and persecution that this reality shines forth so starkly and the pro-tective hand of the Almighty is so clearly evident to all. – Heemek Davar

West, East, North, South – The four corners of the earth are granted to one who fully embodies the purpose for the creation of the universe. For this reason the verse in Proverbs [10:25] calls the righteous man, “Yesod Olam” – the foundation of the universe. Jacob, a true Tzaddik, was therefore presented with the four corners.

The scholarly work Lechem Lfi HaTaf, points out that the word for a righteous person “Tzaddik,” is spelled Tzaddik, Daled, yud, Kuf. The letter Tzaddik is also the first letter of the word Tzafon [north], Daled is the first letter of the word Darom [South], yud of the word yam [West], and Kuf of the word Kedem [East.] In this manner, the Tzaddik truly represents the four corners of the earth because his influence is felt throughout, and is an appropriate recipient of the gift of having offspring in all four corners.

2. the Gratitude attitude“She conceived again, gave birth to a son, and she said, “This time I will praise Ad-noy.” She therefore named him Yehudah. She then stopped giving birth.” 29:35

I will praise Ad-noy – She was always grateful for her children, but this time she specifically chose to praise this name of Hashem from among many others, because it is the first name of the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy and represents Hashem’s willingness to accept a person’s teshuvah [repentance.] This would prove prophetic in later years when Judah would require this faculty following the incident with Tamar and would also pro-vide the inspiration for his brother Reuben to repent for the sin of switching the beds. – Rabbeinu Bachya

Named him Yehudah – “For I have taken more than my share, therefore, I must be thankful.” – The name Yehudah stems from the Hodaah, which means “gratitude.” – Rashi

Jews are often referred to as Yehudim. The source for this is a verse in The Book of Esther [2:5] which refers to Mordechai as “Ish Yehudi” – a Jewish man, and another verse in Zechariah [8:23.] Why is Yehudah the one we’re called after from among all the 12 Tribes? Chiddushei HaRim (Rabbi Yitzchak Meir Rothenberg Alter) explains that the source of his name was Leah’s feeling of overwhelming gratitude for having received more than she was truly entitled to and this is the hallmark of every believing Jew who recognizes that the entire universe is a gift from the Almighty and more than we deserve. In that sense we’re all Yehudim regardless of which tribe we originate from.

3. a SparklinG SuCCeSS“And he [Jacob] heard the words of Lavan’s sons saying, ‘Jacob has taken all that belonged to our father and from that which was our father’s, he gathered all this wealth.’” 31:1From that which was our father’s – Jacob arrived penniless and now he’s wealthy. He used our father’s possessions to create his own wealth. Of course, they conveniently forgot about how wealthy Jacob made their father in the process as well.

Jacob has taken all that belonged to our father – How could they claim that when Lavan was still a very wealthy individual, perhaps even more so than Jacob? They referred not to material wealth, but spiritual wealth which Jacob had successfully extracted from Lavan during his time there. – Mei HaShiloach, by Rabbi Mordechai Yosef of Isbitza

Our sages tells us that the sin of adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge was such a catastrophic event that it caused great damage to the spiritual world and caused many holy sparks to be scattered into remote and unlikely locations throughout the universe. Sometimes, they’re found in the most improbable and unholy of sources such as within the wicked Lavan. The job of the Jewish people is to locate those sparks wherever they’re found and help them return to their pure source. In fact, this is the underlying reason for our numerous exiles. Jacob heard Lavan’s sons claim-ing that Jacob took all that belonged to their father and realized that their words carried a message from the almighty that he already succeeded in redeeming all the captive sparks and he was now free to leave this wicked environ.

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Dear allison:

I see from your inquiry that you are truly a thinking person, so I will need to answer you with the depth your question deserves.

The Torah calls Laban, Lavan HaArami (Laban the aramean), but the comment ators point out that the word “Haarami” is an anagram for “Ramai,” ‘deceitful,’ or ‘trickster,’ as you called him. names, in Torah thought, define a person’s essence. Therefore, the question you pose is all the stronger—the very nature of Laban was deceit. Why, then, would anyone be inter-ested in marrying into this lineage? In addition, we could add another troublesome point. Our Sages tell us that, on the whole, an individual’s sons resemble their mother’s brothers. This would mean that, on the whole, Isaac’s sons (Jacob and Esau) would resemble Laban. How objectionable!

I believe the key to unlocking this puzzle may be found in the words of the midrash. When the Torah introduces Rebecca in the beginning of Toldos for a second time, the Torah repeats that she was the “daughter of Betuel, the sister of Laban.”

Rashi explains that the Torah is expressing its praise of Rebecca — her father and brother were morally unprincipled, but she was righteous. This comment of Rashi is often interpreted to mean that despite the fact that her father and brother were evil, she was able to transcend their influence and conduct herself in a righteous manner. However, your question concerning the disregard of noble character is only intensified by this understanding.

We find that the midrash compares Rebecca to a “rose among a bed of thorns.” The symbolism is that Rebecca is the rose and her father and brother are the thorns. However, this is not congruent with the traditional interpretation of Rashi’s comment above: a rose does not become a rose despite the fact that there are thorns on the same stem. To the contrary, a stem from a rose bush produces two different growths. Some growths turn into flowers and some into thorns. What the midrash is teaching us is that the very stem (character) that produces roses (righteous individuals) also produces thorns (charlatans). Why is that?

I believe the answer is that a charlatan has great insight into human nature and extraordi-nary empathy for another’s plight. It’s for that reason that he is able to sell an immigrant the Brooklyn Bridge. He understands that the foreigner does not know the local language, has children to feed, and is desperate for money. He is looking for a way to support his family without having to know the subtleties of his new host culture. That extraordinary trait of empathy can, of course be used for kindness (chesed) as well — to help others in extremely thoughtful ways, based on a deep understanding of human nature. In essence, the very “stem” of exceptional empathy can morph into the “rose” of kindness or the “thorn” of self-aggrandizement.

Isaac and Jacob were focused on the “stem” when they were building their families, so they went back to their roots to find life partners with outstanding capacities of empathy to build the future Jewish people. The fact that Laban was a very successful opportunist was proof that this potential for empathy would carry over to Isaac’s line, for the difference between exceptional kindness and opportunism is in one’s life orientation, not one’s nature. a person who is oriented toward serving G-d will use this talent in its noblest sense, which we see is exactly what occurred in the lives of these great people. Betuel and Laban, who were idolaters, used their talent to serve their base natures.

One of life’s challenges, allison, is to find opportunities to use our talents to serve the highest callings in life, for Heaven knows that there are many people out there who are using their talents to only serve themselves. need we go any further than the World’s current financial debacle?

Regards,

Rabbi Reuven Drucker

Rabbi Drucker can be reached at rabbidrucker@partnersintorah.org

A Rose Among ThoRns R A b b i R e u v e n d R u c k e R

Dear Rabbi,

I’ve just finished the Torah Portions that heavily stress marriage (Chayei Sarah/Toldos/YaVeitzei) and am surprised that Isaac and Jacob married women from their greater family. My partner told me that they did so because of the fine character of these people. However, Betuel is portrayed as cunning and money-hungry and Laban as a trickster extraordinaire. What kind of noble character did these family members have, after all? Wouldn’t their toxic personalities rub off on all their offspring? What were Isaac and Jacob thinking?

Confused,

Allison

Rabbi Chaim finds a support for this idea in ם שֶׁ ת גֶּ פִלַּ the prayer תְּfor rain, that we recite on Shemini atzeres, wherein we enumerate the righteousness of our fore fathers and beseech Hashem to grant us rain in their merit. When we discuss Jacob, we say as follows: אֵר י בְּ ייִחַד לֵב וְגָל אֶבֶן מִפִּ he dedicated his heart, and ,מַיִםrolled a stone from the mouth of a well of water.

Rabbi Chaim reasons that if we are discussing Jacob's natural physical power here, the prayer is difficult to understand. What merit can be found in Jacob's physical prowess to justify the

gift of rain and water for his descendants? Rather, it must be that we are talking about an inner strength that came from pure dedication. Jacob's wish to assist Rachel, a close relative of his, and his desire to alleviate the severe thirst that the sheep were suffering, gave him the ability to accomplish the tremendous feat of moving the stone. He accom-plished this through dedicating his heart — and it is this dedica-tion that we mention as a source of merit for us.

This depth of feeling for others is, in a sense, accomplished by tapping into Hashem's trait of יו ל מַעֲשָׂ רחֲמָיו עַל כָּ His mercies ,וְַ

are on all His creations. It can give a person an abundance of strength to do what otherwise would be almost impossible. [It is well known that one possesses enormous power when he or she is ``running on adrenalin"; for example, if a house is on fire, G-d forbid, and a mother must save her children who are trapped inside, she will suddenly be pos-sessed of tremendous strength, fueled by her fierce determination to save her children, by whatever means necessary.]

There is a wealth of powers, talent, and ability that every Jew possesses, says Rabbi Chaim; it need only be activated and revealed. With a fierce determina-tion to succeed, one can reach heights that he himself does not dream he has the ability to attain.

Jacob's enormous physical strength enabled him to roll a huge boulder off the well — a chore that usually required the cooperative efforts of many shepherds.

Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz points out that this great strength Jacob possessed was not known even to him until he dedicated himself to revealing these hidden powers. This is true, he says, of the latent strengths in every person. Everyone has a vast reserve of strength, enough to enable him to overcome many obstacles and to climb great heights. These have only to be recognized, harnessed, and put to use.

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Table Talk For discussion around the shabbos table

Rashi writes (29:25) that (אin order to prevent potential trickery by Lavan,

Jacob gave certain simanim (signs) to Rachel that only she would know. When Rachel realized that her father Lavan intended to send Leah under the bridal canopy instead of her, she feared the humiliation her sister would face and related the simanim to Leah so that she could convince Jacob that she was indeed Rachel. Although this act demonstrated tremendous compassion for her sister’s emotions, what right did she have to do so at the expense of Jacob’s feelings? (Lev Shalom by Rabbi Shalom Schwadron)

Rachel’s intention in stealing (בher father’s terafim (idols) was to prevent him from

idol-worship (Rashi 31:19). As Lavan caught up with Jacob and his family on the seventh day of their flight, Rachel had ample opportunity to discard them along the way. What purpose could she have had in keeping the idols in her tent (31:34), which is forbidden by the Torah, rather than throwing them out and burying them along the way? (Gur Aryeh by Rabbi Yehuda Loew)

Q T h o s e w h o p a y c a r e f u l a t t e n t i o n t o t h e p a r s h a w h i l e r e v i e w i n g i t o r d u r i n g i t s p u b l i c r e a d i n g o n S h a b b a t w i l l n o t e a c u r i o u s f a c t : u n l i k e a l m o s t e v e r y o t h e r

p a r s h a i n t h e T o r a h , P a r s h a s V a y e i t z e i c o n t a i n s n o b r e a k s f r o m s t a r t t o f i n i s h . I t i s w r i t t e n i n t h e S e f e r T o r a h w i t h o u t a n y o f t h e c u s t o m a r y s p a c e s w h i c h i n d i c a t e t h e b e g i n n i n g o f a n e w s e c t i o n w i t h i n t h e p a r s h a . W h a t i s t h e r e a s o n f o r t h i s a n o m a l y ?

A R a b b i C h a i m S h m u e l e v i t z e x p l a i n s t h a t P a r s h a s V a y e i t z e i c o n t a i n s a n u m b e r o f s u b p l o t s : J a c o b ’ s f l i g h t f r o m E s a v , J a c o b ’ s d e a l i n g s w i t h h i s d e c e i t f u l f a t h e r - i n - l a w L a v a n , J a c o b ’ s r e l a t i o n s h i p

w i t h h i s w i v e s R a c h e l a n d L e a h a n d t h e i n t e r a c t i o n s b e t w e e n t h e t w o w o m e n , t h e b i r t h o f t h e t r i b e s , a n d J a c o b ’ s f l i g h t f r o m L a v a n b a c k t o t h e l a n d o f h i s p a r e n t s . W h e n e x a m i n i n g a n y o f t h e s e e p i s o d e s i n i t s o w n l i g h t , a n u m b e r o f d i f f i c u l t a n d s e e m i n g l y u n a n s w e r a b l e q u e s t i o n s p r e s e n t t h e m s e l v e s .

T h e T o r a h i n t e n t i o n a l l y s t r u c t u r e d P a r s h a s V a y e i t z e i a s o n e l o n g a n d c o n t i n u o u s l y u n f o l d i n g n a r r a t i v e t o t e a c h t h a t i t i s i m p o s s i b l e t o s p l i t u p t h e v a r i o u s e v e n t s c o n t a i n e d t h e r e i n a n d j u d g e a n y o f t h e m i n a v a c u u m . R a t h e r , e a c h e p i s o d e i s j u s t o n e s m a l l p i e c e o f a m u c h l a r g e r p i c t u r e , o n e w h i c h c a n o n l y b e g i n t o b e u n d e r s t o o d w h e n o n e s t e p s b a c k a n d v i e w s i t i n t h e c o n t e x t o f t h e b i g g e r p i c t u r e .

A s t h e T o r a h w a s w r i t t e n f o r a l l g e n e r a t i o n s , i t i s c l e a r t h a t t h e l e s s o n s c o n t a i n e d t h e r e i n a r e a p p l i c a b l e t o e v e r y p e r s o n t h r o u g h o u t t h e a g e s . T h e l e s s o n o f n e e d i n g t o v i e w e v e n t s i n t h e c o n -t e x t o f a l a r g e r p e r s p e c t i v e c a n b e e x t r a p o l a t e d t o t h e s i t u a t i o n s w h i c h o c c u r i n e a c h o f o u r l i v e s . W e s h o u l d r e a l i z e t h a t a l t h o u g h w e d o n ’ t a l w a y s u n d e r s t a n d t h e w a y s o f H a s h e m , w e n e v e r t h e l e s s m u s t t r u s t t h a t e v e r y t h i n g t h a t h a p p e n s i s p a r t o f H i s l a r g e r m a s t e r p l a n , w h i c h w e w i l l o n e d a y m e r i t t o c o m p r e h e n d .

Q A f t e r L e a h g a v e b i r t h t o h e r f o u r t h s o n , s h e n a m e d h i m Y e h u d a , s a y i n g ( 2 9 : 3 5 ) “ T h i s t i m e I w i l l t h a n k H a s h e m . ” W h y d i d s h e o n l y c h o o s e t o t h a n k H a s h e m a f t e r

Y e h u d a ’ s b i r t h a n d n o t a f t e r t h e b i r t h o f a n y o f h e r f i r s t t h r e e s o n s ? R a s h i e x p l a i n s t h a t L e a h k n e w t h r o u g h D i v i n e i n s p i r a t i o n t h a t t h e r e w o u l d b e 1 2 t r i b e s . S i n c e J a c o b h a d f o u r w i v e s , s h e a s s u m e d t h a t e a c h w i f e w o u l d m e r i t g i v i n g b i r t h t o t h r e e o f t h e m . W h e n L e a h g a v e b i r t h t o a f o u r t h s o n , w h o m s h e v i e w e d a s m o r e t h a n w h a t s h e w a s e x p e c t i n g o r e n t i t l e d t o , s h e d e c i d e d t o g i v e s p e c i a l t h a n k s t o H a s h e m . T h e T a l m u d i n B e r a c h o s ( 7 b ) t e a c h e s t h a t i n d o i n g s o , L e a h b e c a m e t h e f i r s t p e r s o n i n h i s t o r y t o t h a n k H a s h e m . T h i s i s d i f f i c u l t t o u n d e r s t a n d . H o w c a n i t b e t h a t t h e r i g h t e o u s A b r a h a m , S a r a h , I s a a c , R e b e c c a , a n d J a c o b n e v e r o n c e t h a n k e d H a s h e m ?

A R a b b i Y a a k o v Y o s e f H e r m a n a n s w e r t h a t t h e P a t r i a r c h s a n d M a t r i a r c h s c e r t a i n l y g a v e t h a n k s t o H a s h e m c o n s t a n t l y . H o w e v e r , m a n y p e o p l e h a v e a f e e l i n g t h a t o n c e t h e y h a v e s a i d “ t h a n k

y o u , ” t h e y h a v e f u l f i l l e d t h e i r o b l i g a t i o n t o e x p r e s s g r a t i t u d e n o m a t t e r h o w g r e a t t h e f a v o r w a s t h a t t h e y r e c e i v e d . L e a h i n t r o d u c e d t h e c o n c e p t o f e t e r n a l i z i n g o n e ’ s f e e l i n g s o f g r a t i t u d e b y g i v i n g a c h i l d a n a m e w h i c h c o n n o t e s t h a n k s . E v e r y t i m e t h a t s h e s p o k e t o h e r s o n o r e v e n t h o u g h t a b o u t h i m , s h e w o u l d b e r e m i n d e d f o r a l l t i m e h o w m u c h a p p r e c i a t i o n s h e o w e s t o H a s h e m — n o t j u s t f o r t h i s s o n , b u t f o r a l l o f t h e g o o d t h a t H a s h e m h a s b e s t o w e d u p o n h e r .