part i begins: components of conflict chapter 1: perspectives on conflict
TRANSCRIPT
Part I begins: Components of Conflict
Chapter 1: Perspectives on Conflict
Why study conflict? A natural part of all of our human
relationships Family relationships the best laboratory for
study Mental health is related to conflict
management Romantic relationships/marriage the biggest
test of all!
Marriage and family Conflict resolution methods affect marriage
Enter conflict gently Repair wounds Avoid criticizing and blaming Avoid “hitting where it hurts”
Learning to manage conflict constructively positively correlated with marital satisfaction
Keys to long-term, committed relationships: Conflict management Amount of conflict less important to
quality of relationship than how conflict is handled
Beliefs about conflict and how it should be handled are important, too
So why study conflict? Affects long-term relationships Affects your mental health Affects people around you Affects the well-being of your family Impacts businesses and organizations Helps people overcome abuse and lack of positive
role-models for conflict management Conflict resolution is complicated, not “common
sense”
Personal History How did your family handle conflict? How do you handle conflict? Do you and those closest to you handle
conflict differently, and what impact does this have on your family/personal life?
Take a moment to reflect What style of conflict management was
used in your family as you were growing up?
What style do you have now? Write a brief summary of the answers to
these questions on a piece of paper
Did your family tend to: Avoid most conflict? Use collaboration to resolve conflict? Engage in yelling, name-calling, and other
aggressive strategies?
Avoidant families Conflict doesn’t exist – don’t acknowledge it if it
does When you encounter conflict, work through it on your
own Don’t talk about conflict Don’t raise your voice Snide comments and sarcasm are okay Sulking and the “silent treatment” are okay Don’t respond to concerns about conflict openly Don’t express strong feelings
Collaborative families Family meetings/chats common Good listening skills are used Deal with people directly Discuss your feelings Parents help children work through conflicts Regular interaction occurs Sulking and “silent treatment” not acceptable Strong feelings are normal and allowed
Aggressive families “Survival of the fittest” atmosphere Brutal honesty, no matter the consequence Show emotions strongly, even if it hurts others Get your position out there first Air conflicts in front of an audience Don’t back down – ever! Take it if someone attacks Those who can’t are considered weak
Effects of destructive marital conflict Research shows the promotion of effects on the
entire family system Loneliness and isolation from friends Decreased mental/emotional well-being of children Behavior and academic problems in children Adolescent distress and depression Strong reactions to conflict Difficulties in later lives and long-term relationships
Views of Conflict:Negative Many people view conflict as negative
Harmony is normal/conflict is abnormal Conflict = Disagreement Conflict comes from personal pathology Conflict should never be escalated Conflict management is a polite, orderly
process Anger is the emotional aspect of conflict
Views of Conflict:Positive Conflict is inevitable – treat it
constructively as a fact of life Conflict “brings problems to the table” Conflict brings people together to clarify
goals Conflict can “clear the air” and promote
understanding
What is your view of conflict?
Positive or Negative?
What metaphor for conflict do you prefer?
Models of Conflict The “lens” model – the model in the text General Systems Theory – the model
preferred by Dr. McCarty
An overview of the models Lens model shows 2
people looking through their own lenses at each other
The lens is thought to influence the view of Self Other Relationship
General Systems Theory is used in many disciplines and would view conflict as a System involving Inputs (sensory) Internal Processes
(perceptions) Outputs (behaviors)
General Systems Theory
INPUT INTERNALOUTPUT
PROCESSES
INPUT The same for everyone Sensory Inputs Involves sensory receptor cells that:
Detect stimuli like light and sound energy Translate it into the brain’s language Transmit it to the brain for processing
INTERNAL PROCESSING Different for everyone Perception – a model of reality Involves
Expectations Filters (e.g. gender and cultural) Interpretations
Gender Filters Men and women have more similarities
than differences in how they handle individual conflict situations, BUT . . . There are some overall differences like
Self Esteem Power vs. Interdependence concerns
Low Context vs. High ContextCultures
Low Context Culture Individual oriented Analytic/linear logic Direct,
confrontational Action/solution
oriented
High Context Culture Group oriented Synthetic/spiral
logic Indirect,
nonconfrontational Face- and
relationship oriented