pathways - sadie rose foundationsadierosefoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2.1...2012/02/02...
TRANSCRIPT
From Regina’s Desk
This feature includes selected corre-
spondence into and out of our email
box, our mailbox, and voicemail. We
are delighted to share moments of
gratitude, outreach, and connection.
A representative from Universi-
ty of Virginia Medical Center acknowledged
receipt of SRF brochures to be made availa-
ble to parents using the hospital’s services.
In her email, she also asked to be added to
the newsletter list and provided a connec-
tion to the hospital’s chaplain staff. (As a
licensed minister, Regina is able to make
pastoral visits within this hospital, and of
course, more local hospitals). Many SRF
friends have been served by the Medical
Center and Children’s Hospital, including
the Harlow family, and we are deeply grati-
fied at their support of our outreach.
Last summer, a mother-in-law contacted
the SRF for help and support when her son
and daughter-in-law lost twins. As is our
policy when we are contacted on behalf of a
bereaved parent, we offer support and let
those we reach out to decide when and if to
reach back to us. Recently, the mother
emailed: “The day I came home from the
hospital, I had an amazing package waiting
for us from the Foundation. All the things
inside meant so much to me. If I could re-
ceive a monthly newsletter, I would love
that! Please let me know what I need to do.”
Bereavement packages, which contain a
handwritten condolence note, small items
made by other bereaved parents
and also information about SRF
support meetings, are often our
first outreach. Sometimes we don’t
know the impact this makes until
many months later.
Another family asked to re-
ceive the newsletter. The mother writes: It's
been almost 5 years since my miscarriage
and it still hurts to think that I could have
another precious little angel running
around. God has since blessed my husband
and I with a daughter to join her big broth-
er. Thank you for being such a wonderful
support group. I know you have helped so
many. I sometimes feel guilty for being sad
when I know there are many others who
have lost babies either very late in their
pregnancies or during the first few days or
weeks of their newborns lives. I hadn't even
reached the end of my first trimester when I
lost my baby, but it hurt just the same.
Thanks again for all of you do.
We were happy to receive notice that our
workshop “Helping others to honor our
grief” has been accepted for the July 2014
Compassionate Friends national conference
in Chicago, IL. Regina Harlow plans to pre-
sent the workshop to the SRF friends and
in a local venue before traveling to the con-
ference. See more information about the
workshop on page 3 of this newsletter and
watch our website and Facebook page for
details about upcoming local presentations.
February 1, 2014
Support for child, infant and pregnancy loss
Volume 2 Issue 4
Pathways
Miss our last newsletter?
All newsletters can be
viewed on our website.
For a hard copy, contact
our office.
“Because the path of grief after losing a child should never be walked alone”
Mailing Address: P.O. Box 382 Dayton, VA 22821
Physical address: 206 Main Street Suite B Dayton, VA 22821
www.sadierosefoundation.org ~ 540-810-0307~ [email protected]
Support groups, Internet community, One-on-one lay counseling, Remembrance events
6—Miscarriage Support
Meeting, 6:30 pm
10—Bereaved Parent
Support Meeting, 7 pm
13—Monthly Support
Coffee, 9:30 am
28—Bereaved Family
Support Meeting
See details and
locations for all
events inside this
newsletter
In Our Mailbox
* If you would like to
share your story of loss
and how the Sadie Rose
Foundation has impacted
your grief journey, please
contact our office.
* If you know of someone
who might benefit from
the support we offer,
please help us make the
connection.
* Subscribe to the SRF
website to receive an
email each time we
publish a blog. Visit our
website and subscribe in
the top right-hand
corner.
Lauren Jefferson and Kassandra
Lambert contributed to this
newsletter.
Wow! So many amazing things we’ve expe-
rienced together, so many things to look to-
ward. While nothing replaces the lives of the
children we are grieving, walking the journey
together can be what carries us through.
Because of YOU, our donors, volunteers,
and supporters, because of YOUR support and
efforts to continue the SRF mission, we are
able to expand ways to connect, to process, and
to be here for each other.
At our January board meeting, the board
made a motion to approve leasing a second
room in our current facility. One side will be
used for storage and the other for childcare.
This opens our office downstairs to offer all our
support meetings, workshops, Bible studies,
etc. in house. We are excited to offer this to our
SRF support community! Thanks for making
this possible. “...because the path of grief after
losing a child should never be walked alone.”
This month’s newsletter is sponsored by Joy Belle in loving memory of her
son, John Douglas, born, lived, and died 2/20/2011.
For information on sponsorships, contact our office.
One-on-one support is available at our office by appointment. Call Regina at 540-810-4351 or
email regina@sadierosefoundation to schedule a time.
We also have several private Facebook groups, one for bereaved parents and one for those
who are pregnant after a loss. This is in addition to our public Facebook page. Feel free to
request to join these groups that apply.
Parents who are willing to talk if you are interested
Frank Bennett—540–3839082—lost infant. Frank also has a bereaved dad’s support forum
on Facebook called “Daddy’s Breath.”
Tanya Bennett—540-383-9077—also on Facebook. Lost infant
Daniel and Naomi Lambert—540-433-8894—lost two infants. Also have teenagers as sibling
support
Anita Thompson—540-209-3251—also on Facebook. Grandparent/parent support
Lee Harlow—540-480-4928 and Regina Harlow—540-810-4351—also on Facebook. Lost
infant
Suzy LaBonte—540-833-4185—[email protected]. Lost teenager. Hosts a support
group called “Lanterns of Hope” for those who have lost a loved one to suicide.
Angie Magenhofer—[email protected]—also on Facebook. Stillbirth and miscarriage
If you would like to be added to this list as a volunteer support contact, please contact us.
Page 2 Pathways
Additional support
Feb 6: Miscarriage Support Meeting,
6:30 p.m. at Sadie Rose office.
Feb 10: Bereaved Parent Support
Meeting, Adults only, 7 p.m. Sadie Rose
office. For parents who have lost a child of
any age.
Feb 13: Monthly Support Coffee, Sadie
Rose office, 9:30—11:30 a.m.. Come and go
as you please. ***Children are usually
present at this event.
Feb 28: Bereaved Family Support
Meeting, Sadie Rose office, 7 p.m. Sibling
support and childcare available. Families
welcome.
Weekly Online Support Chat, Sundays, 9
P.M. EST. To participate, visit our website
and click on the large “Support Group”
button on the right sidebar.
One-on-One appointments available by
contacting Regina at 540-810-4351 or
Miscarriage Support Meetings are typically
held the first Thursday of every month,
Informal Coffee the second Thursday,
Bereaved Parent Meetings the second
Monday and Bereaved Family Meetings the
fourth Friday. Some exceptions apply, so
check our website, calendar, and Facebook
page often.
For more information about any of our
events, please contact our office.
Calendar of Events We are so grateful to the
following for your donations in
Dec 2013 and January 2014.
Anonymous
Mr. and Mrs. Dale Whetzel
The 80’s Ladies in memory of the
sudden loss of Baby Prawdzik.
The Abbey Family in memory of
Lily Zingone
Steve and Ginny Mason in memory
of Mason Lambert and Kourtney
Lambert
Anonymous
We also received a check from June
Martin who hosted a Wildtree
Fundraiser for us. Thank you to ALL
who placed Wildtree orders to
support that fundraiser.
When donations are made “in memory
of,” we send a note of acknowledgement
to the family of the person being
remembered. We are a 501(c)3 non-profit
organization. Our tax ID number is
26-1662289. All donations are tax-
deductible.
February Focus
We are often asked what donated items
would help us. We will suggest a focus each
month of an item/items that help in our support
efforts.
Item for February: Tissues
The Compassionate Friends
National Conference
This conference is invaluable
to grandparents, parents, and
siblings grieving the death of
a child of any age. “Chicago,
Illinois, will be the site of the
37th TCF National Conference
on July 11-13, 2014. "Miles of
Compassion through The
Winds of Hope" is the theme
of this year's event.’” There
are workshops and events for
everyone. “Early registration
for the conference will be
$90.00 for Adults, $40.00 for
Children (9-17), and $40.00 for
Full-Time College Students.”
The Compassionate Friends is
a wonderful international or-
ganization “committed to help-
ing every bereaved parent,
sibling, or grandparent who
may walk through our doors
or contact us.” Visit their
w e b s i t e a t
www.compassionatefriends.or
g for more information or to
register for the conference.
Excerpts from the Compassionate
Friends website are in quotation marks.
Have you considered attending one of our support group meetings? We know that
taking that first step can be the hardest. Consider asking a friend or family member
to come with you. Another way to lesson the anxiety of showing up for the first time
is to connect with people online in our “Additional Support” section below or on our
online support chat. With the exception of our Miscarriage Support Group, our
groups are open to those who have lost a child of any age. All our meetings will be
held at 206 Main Street Dayton, VA 22821 starting in February. Parking along the
street out front and around back. Please let us know how we can best support you
on your grief journey.
Page 3 Pathways
Name: Parents DOB DOD
Micah Rhodes Wes and Stephanie 02/04/2011 02/04/2011
Brody Rodriguez Ed and Sara 02/04/2008 07/07/2008
Serenity Weller Keith and Christina 02/06/2012 03/07/2012
Mason Keyser Michael and Carmina 02/06/2010 02/06/2010
Maia Harris Andrea 02/09/2007 02/09/2007
Troy McDaniel 02/10/2012
Sofia Mullen Josh and Megan 02/12/2013 02/12/2013
Camden Lafkin Camron and Elly 02/14/2012 05/17/2012
Maggie Ryman John and Serena 02/15/2007 11/21/2008
Nicole Nicholson Everette and Barbara 04/01/1991 02/16/2009
Colton Mowbray Derek and Malisa 02/18/2009 02/28/2009
Darren Schmucker Janice 02/19/2013 02/19/2013
Christine Hobbs Jeff and Phyllis 10/13/2007 02/19/2009
John Douglas Joy Belle 02/20/2011 02/20/2011
Karl Swanson Jr Karl Swanson and Stephanie Dudley 02/20/2010 08/24/2013
Cheyenne Mullen Jennifer Mullen 02/22/2001 12/07/2012
Victoria Marciewicz Katelyn (sister) 01/31/1994 02/25/2011
Levi Eberly Paul and Whitney 02/26/2013 02/26/2013
Richard Firebaugh Gary and Lynell 02/28/1992 03/20/2012
Please take time to remember these families and their children gone too soon. To submit your child’s information or to correct or complete
missing information, or to request your child be removed from our list, please fill out the appropriate form on our website under the
newsletter tab or contact our office.
February Remembrances
Weyers Cave Community Center
March 11, 2014
Doors open at 6:15 p.m. Games start at 7
There are multiple ways to be a part of this fundraiser. Bring friends and play bingo! Spread the word! A total of 10 games
will be played with one person winning more than $100 worth of Tupperware for each game! Pre-sale cards are 2 for $15 and at
the door 2 for $20. Additional cards can be purchased for $2 at the door. Raffle, silent auction, and food. Donations for door
prizes and or silent auction items are appreciated and you can also sponsor each $100 game. You can designate if you are
sponsoring in memory of someone. Businesses can set up a table to promote their products or services following the games.
There will be a Remembrance Table for photos for those who sponsor and game in memory of someone. Donation of hotdogs
and other food and drinks are also welcome. For more information about sponsorship or to donate food,
call Regina at 540-810-4351 or email [email protected]
Tupperware Bingo Fundraiser
Following is a brief description of the workshop I will
present at The Compassionate Friends National Conference.
Look for a date and location in the near future for our local
community to participate in this process-oriented workshop.
Our relationships with family, friends, and others can con-
tribute greatly to our healing process after experiencing grief.
These relationships are also profoundly changed by grief. As
part of our healing, we have to deal with how people react to
us and to our grief process. We have to maintain or let go of
the relationships with our family and friends in their new
form. Some people step toward us in our brokenness and oth-
ers choose to step away. What are healthy ways to respond to
these reactions? This workshop poses the following questions:
“When and how do we invite others into our brokenness to
help us heal? And what do we do if this invitation is rejected,
misunderstood, or leads us into an unhealthy place?”
Members of the audience will help me introduce six
personified stereotypes. I will introduce several realistic
scenarios of how people in a variety of relationships may react
to our grief. In small groups, attendees will have the oppor-
tunity to discuss possible reactions to each scenario and to
share with the audience.
In a short lecture, I’ll share my own ideas about broken-
ness, and an important metaphor which empowered me to
revision my grief and take control of my own reactions to
others. Together, we will consider how this example might
guide us in future responses when we are confronted with the
relationships represented in the personified stereotypes. With-
in our groups we will revisit our reactions with this helpful
image in mind.
This process-oriented workshop, filled with real-life scenari-
os and discussion of shared experiences, will help us explore
how relationships change and how to more positively
communicate your grief to those you love.
Helping others to honor our grief workshop description
The Sadie Rose Foundation is a Shenandoah Valley-based non-profit organization that offers support
to families that have experienced the death of a child, including through pregnancy loss and
miscarriage. All our support and outreach is free of charge. Donations appreciated. For a complete
list of our services, visit our website and click on the “Support and Outreach” tab or contact our
office at 540-810-0307, [email protected], www.sadierosefoundation.org.
The Sadie Rose Foundation
P.O. Box 382
Dayton, VA 22821
February 2014
Q & A
We will feature this Question and
Answer section as we receive
correspondence. If you have questions
for us at the Sadie Rose Foundation, or if
you would like to hear from fellow
bereaved families about a particular
subject, we will do what we can to
provide answers. We’d love to hear from
you.
We also recognize that this particular
question is addressed to caring for
surviving children and that there are
those who have lost their only child or all
their children. We would love to hear
from those parents/individuals as well.
How can we best support you?
Following is the correspondence that
prompted this section.
The email in-box held concerns one
morning from a mother who was often
overwhelmed with feelings of panic and
fear about losing another child. I
(Regina) replied to her immediately and
my response was unique to her situation,
but I also think some of what I wrote
and that we shared together may be
helpful for other bereaved parents. The
SRF is developing a workshop called
“Soul Care,” (see far right) which elabo-
rates on some of these simple strategies
for moving through those feelings we all
experience (we can’t overcome this, or
push them aside, and indeed, we should-
n’t).
We’d love to print your answers to this
question as well.
Q: The older my child gets, she writes,
the more I worry about how long she'll be
here. I'm emotionally drained from the
constant worry, and no matter how
strongly I keep my faith, I can't shake the
overwhelming feelings of "what if?" How
did you make it through the day-to-day
of life without worrying to death?
A: There are times when the peace is
present and other times when I have to
fight for it, but mostly it is an awareness
that this moment is all I have. As I men-
tioned on page 3 of the January newslet-
ter, death is my companion that guides
me.
It is hard to live between "helicopter
mom" hovering over our children and
not allowing them freedom to be chil-
dren, and soaking up and savoring each
breath and each moment with them.
One of the things I have done is adopt
several "mantras" for different ways
that I feel. Also, I do a lot of "breath
prayers." Basically, I breathe in and ei-
ther mentally or even out loud repeat
"Be still," hold the breath for a brief mo-
ment and then exhale and say "And
know that I am God." Repeating that
Scripture in that way has been very
helpful for me, but you can do it using
other images that are important to you,
as well.
Something else I do is try to bless
each work that I do throughout the
day. For example, while I am washing
dishes, I bless the dishes. I bless the
water as it runs from the faucet. I bless
the food that we enjoyed that made the
dirty dishes. While I clean up after the
children, I bless them and I bless the
mess, because I recognize the blessings
that created the messes. By doing this, I
practice an attitude of gratitude and it
often takes my focus off of the anxiety
and helps me feel thankful instead.
But honestly, I don't know that this
panic will ever completely go away. Our
innocence has been robbed and we live in
the awareness that life can change in an
instant. While there are times it causes
us to fear or be anxious, our challenge is
to make it powerful for us. I know you
already do this, but my encouragement
is to live in the moment, live in the
blessing that for this moment, this
sweet, sweet moment in time, you have
this precious beautiful gift.
Following is a brief description of
the Soul Care workshop.
This interactive workshop invites
participants to engage in various forms
of soul care practices and to explore the
ways in which an inward focus offers a
holistic approach to grieving.
All of these techniques can be prac-
ticed within the privacy of the home or
in a work or social environment without
those around us being aware. These
small practical actions can help us pay
attention to our souls and empower us to
rise above moments of panic or anxiety.
As bereaved, we do what we can to
get through the moment. Sometimes we
immerse ourselves in work or busy-ness
and other times, we might look for big
ways in which to honor the lives of those
for whom we are grieving.
We will discuss soul care as a way to
pay attention to the small steps we can
take to care for ourselves and honor the
lives of those for whom we are grieving.
Being still and looking inward can be
frightening, but it can also be a source of
great strength for those in grief.
We’ll discuss the power of honoring
and blessing the natural elements, and
the practice of gratitude and remem-
brance.
We will also discuss the power of ritu-
al, and of creating your own daily rituals
that honor and celebrate your experienc-
es. Attendees will also be invited to
share their own ways of looking inward.